Memoirs of a Redheaded Witch
by My Wicked Quill
Summary: Ginny Weasley was always overlooked. Always the youngest, Always the smallest, And was never… really given the chance to let her voice be heard. Now, it's her time. CHECK OUT THE NEW 2013 edits and chapters!
1. Prologue: Bedtime Stories

Prologue

**Entry One: Bedtime Stories**

_"Who you are is falling over me,__  
><em>_who you are is falling over me__  
><em>_I'm hoping, I'm waiting, I'm praying,__  
><em>_Yea I'm hoping, I'm waiting I'm praying, __  
><em>_you are the one..."_

_- Falling Over Me, Demi Lovato_

I remember the first time I ever heard the story of the Boy Who Lived. It was Christmas time in 1986, I was five years old, and though I remember very little of that age, I remember that night in particular. Perhaps it's because that was the night I found out what I wanted in life, what I was going to do and who I was going to be. Yes I know it sounds rather silly, all little girls think about at such a young age are dolly witches and pixies, but I was never your average witch.

Ever since I learned to walk I was already running; my first word was broom all I wanted for birthdays and Christmas' was to go to a Quidditch Game, get my wand and learn how to hex someone into oblivion. That was most likely due to having six older brothers, yet that didn't seem to explain the power I showed as a child. Apparently none of my brothers had been able to destroy a whole kitchen when they had a temper tantrum.

Anyway, that night I was so sure, when I think back on it I want to laugh, I never had a doubt in my mind what my future would hold.

It was Christmas Eve, and the entire family was home, all my brothers home from work and school, and naturally I was being sent to bed long before I was ready. And I, being my usual hot-tempered and stubborn self, was giving hell to my eldest brother, Bill as he tried to get me to sleep. Which included being difficult as he picked out a bed time story.

Bill wasn't the most firm brother nor was he one to turn me in when he caught in one of my acts, of all my brother's he was the more… adventurous. In succession, my brother Charlie was the most rebellious and danger prone; Percy was the strict and snooty; he always had his nose high. Fred and George were the clowns and pranksters getting it from mum daily if not hourly, and then there was my brother Ron. He was the most oblivious and sensitive, but loyal to the bone. And at the tender age of five, I Ginevra Molly Weasley was already portraying traits from each of my brothers.

I told Bill I was tired of _The Wizard and the Hopping Pot; _sick of _Babbitty Rabbitty; _bored of _The Tale of Three Brothers, _and warned him that if he even tried to tell me again of that damned _Hairy Heart_ I would bite him.

"Fine then, I guess you'll have to do without a story," he said, frustrated, as he got up from my bed.

"Only because my brother who thinks he's so smart can't even think of a proper one!" I replied, giving him my fiercest pout.

Bill had just about reached the door when he stopped.

I didn't know, then, what he was doing I thought he just hated the fact that his baby sister called him thick to his face. But now I know that he was debating whether to continue through the door out of the room or turn around and tell me the story he might get in trouble for.

My siblings and I have always had a reputation for bending the rules, well maybe all except for Percy. He never fit in much anyway. It was always a sight to watch when Fred and George managed to talk their way out of punishment. They would squeeze the truth twist it and turn it until there was only a thread of it left, making their excuses think as brick. The only option my mother had was to let them off with a warning, over the years I picked up a few things.

_ "_Has Mum or Dad ever told you the story of Harry Potter?" Bill turned around to meet my eyes. I could never forget his face, so full of wonder, mischief, and awe.

"Who's Harry Potter?"

We both ended up on my bed, I willingly, got under the covers to hear. As he told me the tale I clearly pictured in my head a sight that I still hold in my head to this day, one of a handsome young prince waving his sword, saving the world. He eventually became _my_ prince in my head, coming to save me from the house of a million red heads. I always loved my family dearly, though it could at times be overwhelming.

But he wasn't just that. This boy, who I had just heard of, had no family, no mum or dad to call his own, while I had enough to last three lifetimes. Harry Potter saved the world but it was still the saddest story I had ever heard.

"Bill?"

"Yeah?" His voice seemed startled, he must have thought I fell asleep; I was only lying next to him staring out my window at the endless snow. Had Harry Potter ever seen snow like that? Did he have anyone to have a snow ball fight with? I had so many questions.

But I wanted to find out the answers on my own.

"I'm going to marry him someday."

Bill was silent for a moment, then laughed, "Who? Harry Potter?"

"Mmmhh," I nodded softly closing my eyes.

"Gin, who says you're ever going to meet him?"

"I do."

Bill must have thought I was delirious from sleep, but he seemed curious now, "So you're going to…meet him…and marry him?"

"I'm going to be his family, if I have one, he should have one too."

I felt Bill kiss the top of my head, "You really are something Ginny Weasley, that Potter won't know what hit him," he laughed again.

I was drifting off to dream about this new boy in my life but managed to say one last thing, "You'll see Bill, a couple of years from now you'll see you were wrong."

"We'll have to wait and see then."

Call it a prophecy, call it destiny, fate, whatever you believe it to be, but I knew right then and there that I was going to make Harry Potter smile, and know he was loved.

That was the first Christmas I wished for the Boy-Who-Lived.

Chapters

Bedtime Stories

Pickled Toad

Breakfast Woes

Chamber Scars

The Potter Pattern

The Broken Hearted Resolve

A Marauder's Promise

The Horse and the Stag

The Chocolaty Defeat of Cho Chang Part 1

A Silver Statement

Definitions of Phlegm and Feelings

All's Fair in Love and Quidditch

Someone Else's Life

The Stupid Noble Reason

The Secrets of Potato Peeling

Gold; The Color of Firewhiskey

The Perks of Playing Nice

Not Nearly Rock Bottom

The Breaking Point

Grasping Smoke and Chasing a Myth

A Bloody Midnight Game

A Brave New World

Finding Forever

The Last Entry

Memoirs of A Red Headed Witch

Chapters 1_of_24

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	2. Pickled Toad

**Entry Two: Pickled Toad**

_"Your beautiful eyes, stare right into my eyes_

_your here, your eyes are looking into mine_

_so baby make me fly_

_my heart has never felt this way before..." _

_Beautiful Eyes, Taylor Swift_

I remember the first time I ever saw Harry Potter, ironic of course that I didn't have a clue who I was staring at so boldly. It's a small story including a train station, unnerved tears, and a wizarding barrier. My mother and I were seeing off my remaining brothers as they prepared to board the train to school for the beginning of term.

I was not handling it very well; each year I was left behind I had the consolation that my brother Ron, who was only one year older, would stay behind as well. This was Ron's first year at Hogwarts, thus leaving me to fend for myself. I hated being the youngest. I complained, and begged my mother to let me go with them, that no one would care if I went a year early, of course I hadn't resulted to screaming and lashing out, I was far to dignified to put on a show. But my mother wouldn't see to it, no matter how my persuasive voice was heard it still fell on deaf ears.

So I felt my eyes welling up.

I never cried.

Ginny Weasley never cried.

I just wanted to go so badly, I wanted to learn how to control my magic and use it how I wanted. And now I had to wait another bloody year, and this time, alone.

We had just reached the barrier between platforms nine and ten at the muggle station, my mother leading the pack when I saw him. I was staying close to my mother, in case my unwanted tears dared to give way and my brothers would see.

That's when a young boy came up to us.

I laid my eyes on him and every other thought left my head. (I didn't know, then, that I would never lay eyes on another boy the same way.) He was about as tall as Ron, only much skinnier, almost to an extreme; it was obvious by the way his clothes hung off him that he wasn't well fed. He was pale and wore glasses, but he was easily the most handsome boy I had ever seen.

His eyes…his eyes, were emeralds and maybe I was so dazed, maybe it was because all coherent thought, (I'm still not sure why this came to my head then.) but they suddenly reminded me of fresh pickled toad. His eyes were big and bright, full of elation and a kind of happiness and fear and nervousness I had never seen before, even behind his round spectacles I could read him like a book. I could see straight into him.

It was a lot to take in for a ten-year-old girl.

His hair was midnight black and it stuck up I strange places making it fun to look at.

I hadn't been paying attention to the conversation he was having with my mother but I took it that he was a first year and wanted to know how to get on the platform.

I found odd that he didn't know; what wizard doesn't know how to get to Hogwarts? And why was he all alone?

I wanted to pay attention, honestly I did, but he was so…distracting? I was only ten; I didn't know anything about those feelings. So I just stood there, smiling, staring, all trace of tears or would be tears gone, all I felt was some kind of magic inside me.

Love at first sight? I know now that must have been it.

But back then…I didn't even know who he was.

I heard the last of my mother's explanation, and I could see he was nervous when it was his time to run through the wall. I managed to open my mouth,

"Good luck!" I called to him smiling. He turned to see me, and he seemed to relax, I must have given him the encouragement he needed. He smiled and then disappeared through the barrier.

And just like that, he was gone.

My brothers then left, one by one, and my mother and I followed. I tried to look for the boy but I couldn't see him, I waved off my brothers still sad, but now excited for the following year.

My mother has always been a bright woman, and with having seven children nothing really ever got past her.

On our way home I saw her stealing glances at me, it was becoming rather annoying, when she spoke.

"Is my daughter, the fine Ginny Weasley, _smitten?_" her voice smirking on its own, in the way only Molly Weasley could.

I blushed, the trademark Weasley blush, my face going as red as my hair.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

She must have been mental, there was no possible reason I would be smitten with a boy when I already promised myself to Harry Potter, and she knew this.

Looking back I laugh though, at that point, the two boys had neither spoken to me, and one I had never even met.

Or so I thought.

My mother wasn't buying it, naturally, but she spared me.

We figured that over the next few days the reason none of my brothers had written was because they were getting settled for another school year. And, I didn't need letters I was sure Percy was being his jaunty Head Boy self, Fred and George wrecking havoc and Ron, well Ron was most likely as insipid there as he was at home.

Two out of three isn't bad.

Truth was, I missed them terribly, being an only child was not right.

When we got our first letter from Ron, a little over a week later I sat to hear what it was like, I had already imagined what the castle looked like but I was always eager for more information, and if he managed to say anything about that boy then…

It was a long shot, but a girl could dream.

Ron's letter however did change my life, he had become best friends with the boy from the train station, and his name happened to be Harry Potter.

My mother did mot spare me for the remainder of the year.

That Christmas I wished that Ron wouldn't ruin that friendship.


	3. Breakfast Woes

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

**Entry 3: Breakfast Woes**

_"I can't keep myself from doing something stupid,__  
><em>_Think I'm really falling for his smile,__  
><em>_Get butterflies when he says my name,__  
><em>_He's got something special, and when he's lookin' at me__  
><em>_I wanna get all sentimental, I can hardly breathe something__  
><em>_telling me...Maybe he could be the one," _

_He Could Be the One, Hannah Montana_

I have a strong feeling everyone remembers the first conversation I had with him-or what _would_ have been a conversation had I not been such a giddy ninny. From the moment Harry Potter first stepped into my house I wasn't the same person for years. I was quiet and shy; two qualities that had not once been related to me, clumsy, and bashful, all the terrible things I never wanted to be.

The night before it happened, my brothers were whispering up a whirl wind of plans about taking our father's flying Ford Anglia to break Harry out of his aunt and uncle's house. Naturally, without the consent, or permission of Mum and Dad; not that I worried so much about that.

"Are they really treating him that badly?" I asked from the doorway to Fred and George's room. Ron and the twins were huddled in the center between the two beds, surrounded by boxes and crates holding hundreds of who-knew-what kinds of mischievous contraptions, that no matter whom you were or how annoying you found them to be, made you smile. Yes Fred and George always knew how to cheer someone up. But at the moment, Fred was dangling the keys to the car in his hand, looking up at my pointedly.

I had only asked for sake of curiosity; there was nothing I wanted more than for Harry to spend some time with our family.

"Well, if it isn't Mrs. Potter!" Fred began his and his twin's endless banter.

"Worried about Harry now?" George followed.

"You should be-"

"They starve him-"

"And hit him-"

"Bars on his windows!"

"We're sure you'd want to make him feel better?"

"Hmm… In what ways dear Fred?"

"Well, George, they say a kiss can take any pain away!"

As they started off making kissing faces and noises, Ron stared at me thoughtfully, I didn't dwell on him. I rolled my eyes.

"Take me with you," I said simply.

"No," They all answered at once.

"Why not? You never let me do anything! You know fair well I can help."

The twins stood up, these were the brothers I took after the most, and it seemed at age eleven I was already following in their footsteps.

"Ginevra. If we take you with us,"

"Then who will be the look out?"

"Percy?" they asked unanimously, laughing at the thought.

"No one can cover for us the way you can."

Crossing my arms I glared up at them. "That worked when I was six, I'm not falling for it again."

"Well, then, sorry sis!" they said as they closed the door in my face. My temper flared; that was undoubtedly plain rude.

Pounding my fist on the door I called, "Just you wait until I get my wand next week!" and stomped away.

I heard my brothers sneak down that stairs and past my door late that night. I remember how I listened for them, because I knew that since my bedroom was on the third landing of the house they'd have to pass me to get down to the garden. Some of me wanted to walk out of my room and demand again that I accompany them, but in the end I decided against it. I turned in my bed and fell asleep quickly.

I awoke to a commotion in the kitchen. Jumping out of bed I wanted to get dressed quickly in the clothing I had laid out to wear that night when I found that my brothers were planning on bringing him home. I was going to look my best. But of course, my clothes were no here to be seen. Groaning I tore my small room apart, searching for the clothes I had put on my dresser just hours prior.

I spent about ten minutes until I gave up. I needed that jumper. It was the one that would most impress Harry. I never really minded much that my family didn't have much money, due to the fact that my mother could knit up a storm. Heaving a deep breath I wrapped my bathrobe around me and rushed out the door.

No doubt my mother took the clothes from my room this morning; she had to have known where they were.

I can't believe, even now, that I was foolish enough on the morning I knew the great Harry Potter, the dazzling brave boy who I had convinced myself at such a young age, was going to be a part of my life one day, would be at my house, that I would walk out of my room, bed headed, sleepy-eyed, morning-breathed and still in my pajamas. I will never forgive myself for that.

I ran down three short flights of stair that led into the kitchen, announcing loudly, "Mummy have you seen my jumper?"

"Are you speaking of the clothes I found thrown all over your…"

But that's the last I heard of that, because I noticed that not all of the heads the breakfast table were flaming red. Harry Potter's black hair stuck out like a sore thumb. In that instant he put his fork down and turned to me with the brightest expression I had ever seen, "Hello!"

My brothers were trying not to laugh.

I was trying not to faint.

My mother was going on about my clothes.

I met his eyes for one last second before I ran back up the stairs at full speed. I reached my room, but not before I heard Ron's voice,

"Ginny, my sister, she's been talking about you all summer."

"My more like all her life," Fred and George muttered.

"What?" Harry's voice asked.

"Never mind."

With that I closed my door and sank to the floor with embarrassment. It was my first chance with Harry Potter and I had blown it.

He had gotten older, obviously, but his features had gotten even more partial. Or maybe it was because I hadn't seen him in a whole year. But my heart was racing my cheeks were flushed, and I'd made myself look like a fool. It would not happen again. I would not let it.

I avoided Harry as often as I could, because I was trying to cope from my former embarrassment and also because I was trying to muster up the courage to speak to him. All in all I wasn't fairing well, and every chance they got, my brothers made sure I was aware of it. It only got worse.

The next morning I had learned my lesson; I had my long red mane brushed, breath fresh, face cleaned and I was properly dressed before descending into the kitchen. My parents were already down, my mother bustling around making breakfast and my father seated with the _Daily Prophet _in hand.

I began eating the porridge my mother placed in front of me keeping my eyes away from my father who was watching me as though I had grown another head.

My father wasn't always so keen on noticing the obvious, in my years since hearing of Harry I had gone around saying I would end up with him, but my father barely took notice. Now, my lack of charisma and quiet appeal since Harry entered the threshold must have him confused beyond belief.

"I'll tell you later dear," my mother whispered to my father as she set a steaming cup of tea before him. She thought I couldn't hear. I pretended I didn't and blushed into my bowl. I had been doing a lot of that lately.

That's when Ron and Harry came down the stairs.

One glance at him and somehow my porridge bowl ended up beneath the table. Harry nobly acted as though he hadn't seen and I ducked under the table to retrieve it. And perhaps control my blush a bit so that he wouldn't see it. I smacked myself on the head. Never had I ever been like that.

Back then, I thought Harry must have cast a spell on me at some point turning me into this Ginny Weasley who was slowly becoming more and more ridiculous. I didn't know that it was just the start of a long winding road of affection for him.

Breakfast went on smoothly after that... until Harry outright spoke to me again. I had told myself that if he were to speak to me I would answer, no matter what it was, that way he would know I had a voice, one that usually never shut up.

The conversation had been revolving around the arrival of our Hogwarts letters, my very first one in fact, when Harry looked up, interested.

"Oh, are you starting at Hogwarts this year?"

He was so kind, so friendly, I found myself swooning, _swooning_! I managed to nod; there went my promise of speaking to him. I felt myself blushing- again- and somehow, again I don't remember the mechanics of these small details I only remember the clear feeling of having my elbow in the butter dish.

And of course the only one to see this display, Harry Potter.

That was only just the beginning


	4. Chamber Scars

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Entry 4: Chamber Scars

"Lost and insecure  
>You found me, you found me<br>Lying on the floor  
>Surrounded, surrounded<br>Why'd you have to wait?  
>Where were you? Where were you?<br>Just a little late  
>You found me, you found me" -You Found Me The Fray<p>

My first year started just the same way it started for any young witch or wizard taking their first steps in Hogwarts. I was nervous and excited- not sure what to expect- though I had six older brothers who could very well tell me what to look out for. However, their words of wisdom were roughly the same.

"When you see the cat, run in the other direction, and you'll be fine."

So when Professor McGonagall led the first years in my class down the Entrance Hall, I knew we were being sorted but not much else. When I saw Filtch for the first time holding Ms. Norris in the corner of the room I got the picture.

As my name was called to be sorted caught eyes with Fred, George and Percy, they nodded slightly, as though it was obvious already what my fate would be. I was under a lot of pressure; the entire pure blood line of Weasleys had been accepted with open arms into Gryffindor- watch my luck to land anywhere else. I remember my heart pounding in my ears, and yet somehow within all my worries, I managed to see that Harry was nowhere in the room. Call it my Potter radar that I had acquired that summer (which only grew as time went on) but I knew he wasn't anywhere near, and that distraction calmed my nerves. The moment the sorting hat was set on my head it was speaking.

"And yet another Weasley? I've seen enough in my day to make an army. But… ahhh.. Wait, wait! A girl…what have we here?" I could see all the other students waiting on a verdict; I had never heard him speak like that to another first year.

I had no clue when I was eleven that the person who wore the hat was the only one who could hear what it said.

The hat began again, "I feel strength, a power that in unknown…the seventh child in a pure blood family…the first female in seven generations…they say seven is a lucky number in the Wizarding world. Now down to business, you'd do well in Ravenclaw, even Slytherin perhaps, but your passion and loyalty make it obvious there is only one house for you…"

I never really gave much thought to what the sorting hat said, though maybe I should have. But when I went to sit with my brothers I got a clap on the back from my new classmates and pushed it out of my mind. I wondered where Harry and Ron had gone off to. I saw Ron and Harry's bushy-haired friend Hermione sitting beside George with the same question on her face. She met my gaze and smiled softly and turned her attention back to the first years.

I didn't take long for the whole school to hear about my brother and Harry's scene with the flying car and the Whomping Willow, that was when I started getting an idea of what it was like to go to a Wizarding school with the great Harry Potter the brightest witch of our age and an army of Weasley boys.

And now I had been thrown into the equation.

But I would have never expected to affect that equation to the extent I did in my first year. To this day it is still hard and painful to think about that time in my life, the time that should have been fun and light hearted, making friends, learning, laughing, but what I got out of my first year was fear and scars that would never truly go away.

I first noticed the diary the day we got home from Diagon Alley; it was mixed in with my newly bought school supplies, as well as the brand new books Harry so graciously gave to me. At the beginning I thought mum had gotten it for me as a sort of going to school present. It was rater nice; the black leather was trimmed with a gold accent making it look professional and sophisticated. Naturally, I kept it without question. I planned to write all my experiences at the school, but so far all I could come up with was the unfortunate fact that I had to start off with second hand robes and hand-me-down school books, the endless teasing of my brothers and the small fact that the boy who had already captured my heart didn't know I existed. So I started with that.

Only to find that the diary spoke back. I was startled at first but then I realized it must have been charmed to act as a friend in your pocket. He said his name was Tom.

** I'm not really sure why I had been so excited to go to Hogwarts, it seems like nothing but work so far, the castle is beautiful, but I felt I would be having more fun by now. **

_**Well the first few weeks are always the hardest, but don't worry, soon you'll have more friends than you can count, as long as you don't forget me.**_

** Tom, you don't honestly think I'd forget my first friend here would you? You've been wonderful.**

He was kind and understanding, everything I wanted in a friend that I had yet to truly find at school. He gave me advice and tried to cheer me up as he put up with my constant woes about the boy who I wanted so much. I told Tom everything, the entire story of Harry Potter, the Boy who lived, the story I had heard at least a thousand times since I was five.

This seemed to interest him extremely. He asked questions, endless questions about Harry and Voldemort. (Of course back then I still referred to him as You Know Who) so I gave him answers. In the first few months of school I grew closer to Tom than I had to anyone else.

_ **So this Harry Potter character, he's done nothing of importance since he defeated the Dark Lord as a child?**_

** Well last year You-Know-Who came back to steal the Sorcerer's Stone; he leeched himself onto the back of the head of some teacher. Harry stopped him before it was too late. I wish I could have been here to see that.**

_**So twice then? He's defeated the Dark Lord twice?**_

** Isn't he brilliant?**

_**Yes... Just brilliant.**_

Then things started happening. The first time I woke up drenched in blood and feathers, I thought it was red paint; I couldn't for the life of me remember what had happened. I remember that morning as though it were yesterday, showering I tried so hard to come up with an idea for what had happened that night to result in the manner I woke up. I came up with nothing.

That's when the first attack happened.

I was walking with a few others back to the common room after dinner that night when we passed a corridor that was flooded with water, when I looked up, there was Harry Ron and Hermione looking at the wall on completer horror.

"What do you reckon they're up to now?" my new friend Colin asked me.

"What do you mean?" the water on the floor was seeping into my shoes as more and more people arrived.

"Your brother, Granger and Potter, they always seem to be causing trouble."

I thought of their adventure the previous year as well as the flying car incident at the beginning of term. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

I heard gasps and some screams and teachers yelling at students to get out of the way.

The wall has some horrendous writing on it, in what people seemed to think was dripping blood. It looked just like the paint I found all over my hands just hours before. And there was the cat, Ms. Norris, the first victim to be petrified.

I watched from the crowds and Filtch tried to pin the mess on Harry, just because he was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

All the way back to the common room I had a strange sensation at the back of my mind telling me the the words on the wall were more familiar than I realized.

The Chamber of Secrets has been opened. Enemies of the Heir, beware.

When we made it up stairs I went straight to Tom.

The biggest mistake of my life.

**It said; the Chamber of Secrets has been opened.**

_**Wow, that Harry Potter must have some nerve.**_

**It wasn't him though! I know it wasn't, Harry would never do something like that.**

** _Not many people have the power to open the Chamber of Secrets Ginevra._**

**What do you mean? What do you know Tom?**

** _Ah, now you find me so interesting, the past few days it's as though you've forgotten me._**

**I'm making friends Tom! Aren't you at all happy for me?**

_**I miss you, that's all.**_

**I'm not going to stop writing to you I promise.**

_**Well then, I'll let you know this, the only way to open the Chamber of Secrets is to be a Parsletongue, meaning you can speak to snakes. The only person to have that ability was Salazar Slytherin, and his descendants. Can Harry speak to snakes?**_

**I…I'm not sure.**

**_Oh and Ginny, you can't tell anyone what I've told you. It might get you into trouble for knowing so much, we must keep it a secret alright?_**

As time went on, more and more students were attacked, and I was losing more and more of my memory, I never knew where I had been or what I had been doing during the time of the attacks. Percy kept telling me I was too pale, and not myself, I just figured it had to do with the newly found stress of trying to fill the gaps in my brain.

School was becoming dangerous, and I hated the fact that everyone seemed to turn on Harry. He had apparently started talking Parseltongue, so everyone believed him to be the heir of Slytherin. It was laughable! Harry would never be something so evil, he was the knight of Gryffindor if anything. Even after my talk with tOm I knew it wouldn't be harry, surely there was someone else who could speak to snakes?

Everywhere I went people were speaking ill of Harry and deep down I worried that it was all my fault, more attacks, no alibi, I started believing I was the one attacking the students. But it was impossible, why would I do something like that, even if I wasn't in my right mind? I had no idea what coul be making me do things like that, if it was me.

I was so scared.

**I don't know what's happening Tom, more and more people are getting hurt and I can't figure out where I've been most of the time!**

** _Well, what kind of people, exactly, are getting hurt?_**

**There was first Mrs. Norris and then Justin Finch-Fletchley and…Colin just the other day, I heard Malfoy talking with some Slytherin about the fact that they are all muggleborns.**

**_Then it's alright, everything will work out._**

**How could you say that Tom? These attacks…they're horrible!**

**_I guess I see things in a different perspective._**

And that's when I started becoming more suspicious of my diary; Tom had been so intrigued with what had been going on at school, as though I was speaking of a Quidditch game. He was becoming so close to the situation and close to me as well, it didn't seem healthy. My gut told me that it was Tom, messing with my head and making me do things. And so I tried to dispose of it, in the prefects bathroom.

I was terrified. Tom had turned from the sweet charming boy I thought I knew to this daunting...demon. He was conniving and he was deceitful. How it took me so long to realize I will never understand.

I should have noticed the degrading way he spoke about muggleborns and even half bloods on occasion. I should have noticed his persuasiveness... He was able to make me think whatever he wanted me to think... I trusted him. And I will never forgive myself for that. Ever.

My plan was to flush it down the toilet. Honestly. I know it wasn't the most genius idea, but at the time I felt I was out of options. I certainly didn't want it to fall in anyone else's' hands...

"Ginny?" I heard someone call behind me as I rushed Dan the corridor, "Ginvera!"

It was Percy. He was going to scold me for running in the halls, and I normally would have hexed him for using my full name, but I didn't have the time to stop.  
>I needed to take back control of my life.<p>

The bathroom was empty just as I figured it would be, but when I swiftly opened one of the stalls I didn't hesitate for the slightest moment to chuck the book into the water. To my dismay, however, the stall was occupied by the dead.

Moaning Myrtle was a ghost I never thought I would actually meet, since she was said to spend most of her time in the plumbing of Hogwarts, but nevertheless I met her acquaintance at the most inopportune instant.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" she squealed as the diary flew through her head.

I jumped, startled out of my mind. I used so much force hurtling the wretched diary I actually wondered for a split second whether she was hurt. Then catching myself, I fled the scene before she could get a glimpse of me.

It wasn't until I had reached the common room that I realized Myrtle had disrupted my plan immensely- I didn't flush the toilet.

The blood rushed from my face. How could I have been so stupid? Yet another mistake to add to my list of blunders.

Taking a breath to steady myself, I turned back around, ready to return to the bathroom and finish the job.

"Ginny!" Percy's voice caught me before I could exit the portrait hole. "Where do you think you are going? First I find you running in the corridors, next I see you sneaking out of the common room after curfew?"

I looked to the clock on the mantle of the fireplace and grimaced, when had it gotten that late?

My brother was standing before me with a raised eye brow, "Well? What do you have to say for yourself?"

I guess I could have said a number of things. I could have said that there was a psychopathic diary that was out for Harry Potter's blood. I could have said that said diary was doing something to me- something I couldn't explain. I could have said that I was losing most of my memory. I could have said that I was the one who had written the messages on the walls, with no recollection of doing it. I could have said that I needed help, that the boy in the diary knew all about the Chamber of Secrets...

"I'm sorry, Percy, I'm just having a truly terrible day."

As you can probably already tell, I wasn't able to fetch the diary that night.

Then in the irony that is my life the diary found its way into the hands of Harry; I almost had a stroke. He was inspecting it with Ron and Hermione, I knew it wouldn't take long for him to find the special ability the diary had of peaking back.

What if Harry had seen what I had written about not knowing where I was? About my suspicions? And worst of all, my feelings for him! All there in plain sight. So I did what I had to do to save Harry from Tom; and myself from embarrassment and possible trouble.

"Is it true that the girl's dormitory steps turn into a slide if a boy tries climb them?" I asked Luna, I had known her from down the lane from home, the Burrow. We had been friends since we were little and I expected it wouldn't be so hard starting at Hogwarts since she was in my year, only Luna was sorted into Ravenclaw and we'd been constantly separated.

"Oh yes, and when they slip down a whole appears at the bottom and they are sent to ChastisMeadow."

"What?"

"It's where Wackspurts and Nargles feed off them."

"Oh." Luna had always been…odd. "What about the boy's dorm? Can girls get up there?"

"I don't see why not."

I smiled weakly.

"Ginny? Are you alright? You look tired."

"Of course I am, I'm not tired, I've been sleeping like the dead, I don't even have bags under my eyes!" I touched the skin just beneath my eye lids, they weren't even puffy!

"No, not physically, you just look tired."

"Right, ok Luna I'll see you later."

The boy's dorm wasn't that much different from the girl's, the differences were only the obvious living styles of girls and boys. The place was a mess.

I instantly recognized my brother's bed and space, and Harry's as well, he did stay with us over the summer.

It was much harder to find the diary than I thought it would be, maybe because I was rushed, flustered and nervous. Going through Harry's things made me feel guilty, and made me blush from time to time. I emptied pillows, opened drawers, overturned trunks and finally I found it. I grabbed the diary and meant to retreat, but I noticed what was beneath it. It was a photo of a man who looked just like harry with a woman with long red hair, they were laughing and he was twirling her around.

I had to do a double take because at first glance they looked almost exactly like Harry and…me. Shaking my head I left, realizing later one it was a photo of Harry's parents.

Tom had me at his mercy once again, and this time it was for good. Tom possessed me again and had me write my own farewell on the same wall I had written in blood that the chamber of secrets had been opened, so many months before.

Her Skeleton will lie in the Chamber Forever

He had made me open the Chamber, he made me release the animal that had attacked all the students, all year long it had been me the entire time.

After writing the farewell I wound up down in the chamber, alone and scarred, the diary was with me but I didn't dare open it. I cried and hoped someone would come and save me, I would have tried to get out myself, but I was growing weaker and weaker. I knew I was dying. I could feel it.

I just remember being mad that I would never get to be the family Harry never had, the promise I made meant nothing if I was going to die. The last thing I remembered before going under was a figure of a man coming out of the diary.

I remember the first time Harry ever saved my life.

When I awoke, it was with a start. I bolted up right, wet, bloody and cold.

"Ginny."

As I turned to see where the voice had come from it was a sight I had seen before, but only in my dreams. A young Harry Potter kneeling before me holding a ruby baring sword, the monstrous basilisk slain a few feet off. At first I thought I must have been dreaming, my wildest fantasies becoming a reality was never what I expected. Yet there he was, looking me over checking to make sure I was alright.

And for once I found my voice in his presence, "Harry- I…It was me! I did it, all of it but I didn't mean to, Riddle, he made me!" I just knew that he wasn't going to believe me, after my confessions I knew I was going to be expelled, he was going to hate me, all my worst fears ran wild in my mind.

But he was still there, my prince, my knight, he wandered all the way down the chamber to find me, even though it had been hours and it wasn't likely I was alive.

At that point I didn't know he didn't go down because no one else could, but because he worried and cared about me. Back then, I was still just his best mate's little sister.

"I know, I know it's ok Ginny-" I had been rambling about how sorry I was when he turned my attention back to him.

That was when I realized I was wrong. This wasn't like my dreams, it wasn't at all like my fantasies where Harry Potter came and took me away from danger, both of us unscathed, this was reality.

I had been foolish to ever think of that. This story, the story of our lives never had a moment like this, a happy ending where everyone lived without either physical or emotional scars.

And so Harry was drenched in blood, his own, and a nice amount from the basilisk as well, with a deep gashing wound on his fore arm. It was ghastly.

He was so pale, and sweating a high fever. His brilliant eyes, were faltering as his breath became irregular.

"You're…hurt." I swallowed.

"Look, Gin, you need to get yourself out, follow the path and you'll find Ron. Tell him the heir is Voldemort."

It was silly all I took from his words was a new nick name no one had ever called me before. Harry Potter was dying in front of me and I was concentrating on a nick name.

Foolish, but I was so young.

Thankfully I did come to my senses. "I'm not leaving you here!"

"You have to-"

We were interrupted then by the phoenix. I won't bore you with the details I'm sure you've heard of or read a hundred times in the history books, but I will tell you one last thing.

Harry Potter is not some kind of prince or knight, he's a hero, and not because he wants to be but because It's who he is, it's who he's always been. He saved my life so long ago and though we got out of there, both of us alive and well, I will never forget that feeling of hopelessness. When harry helped my up and got me out of that horrid place I felt safe. And forever I knew that I'd feel safe in his arms.

And forever I knew that was the safest place I could be.

"It's over Gin," he told me as he picked up the tattered and destroyed diary. "It's only just a memory." And he smiled, as though we hadn't just lost our lives to the one person who had taken the lives of his parents.

I found out later what had happened, Tom Riddle taking piece by piece of my soul until he had enough to rebuild his own. Harry saved me when I was inches from death. And he would save me again and again, for different reasons that he would never know.

Chapters

Bedtime Stories

Pickled Toad

Breakfast Woes

Chamber Scars

The Potter Pattern

The Broken Hearted Resolve

A Marauder's Promise

The Horse and the Stag

The Chocolaty Defeat of Cho Chang Part 1

A Silver Statement

Definitions of Phlegm and Feelings

All's Fair in Love and Quidditch

Someone Else's Life

The Stupid Noble Reason

The Secrets of Potato Peeling

Gold; The Color of Firewhiskey

The Perks of Playing Nice

Not Nearly Rock Bottom

The Breaking Point

Grasping Smoke and Chasing a Myth

A Bloody Midnight Game

A Brave New World

Finding Forever

The Last Entry


	5. 513 NEW! From England to Egypt and Back

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

**Entry five: from England to Egypt and back**

"Can I start again, with my faith shaken?

Cause I can't go back and undo this.

I just have to stay, and face my mistakes

But if I get stronger and wiser, I'll get through this.

What can you do when your good isn't good enough,

When all that you touch tumbles down,

Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,

I just want to fix this somehow…"

_-Get It Right, Lea Michelle (Glee)_

I was getting to know him better- him as a person, his likes and dislikes, his moods and habits. It wasn't as creepy as it seemed, yes I will admit, I spent a good portion of time watching and observing him- but he was always around, and we were… acquaintances.

He was becoming just, Harry, rather than the great _Harry Potter_ to me. It was thrilling.

This was all happening my second year and though I was severely shy, when he would speak directly to me, I would blush- but answer.

With words.

That growth within myself was due to many things, obviously I was older, there was a major difference between 11 and 12, and obviously down in the chamber Harry and I have created a bond. Even though we wouldn't expand on that bond for years, it was there nonetheless. To my surprise, and I'm sure to yours as well, I didn't see Harry more so as a hero but as a boy with flaws and fears. Down in the chamber I saw him on the brink of death, and that changes the way you view a person. He wasn't indestructible, he was vulnerable, he wasn't perfect, but he was real.

I also have to give credit for my growth to the trip my family took the summer after my first year. The trip we took to Egypt to see my eldest brother Bill, who was working there as a curse breaker.

My father won the Grand Prize Galleon Draw that year, ad we really couldn't think of a better way to spend the money than to travel. And it was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. Unfortunately, the timing had left to be desired. I was still thoroughly dysfunctional and my family was watching over me like I was a new born. Which was most likely one of the reasons we were taking a trip in the first place; to give me some fresh air.

"Bill!" I yelled when I saw him, I ran and was the first one to greet him.

He threw his arms around me and twirled me around. "I've missed you, spitfire," he said.

I playfully pushed him away, "I've told you not to call me that."

"Must have forgotten."

"Liar."

"Bill!" cried mum as she reached us, "Oh, sweetheart, it's been too long! You really must come around home more often," she chastised wiping the tears from her eyes. That's what she was I'm able to pick up good looking, "William! What did you do with this hair! A ponytail? What are you trying to do- and an earring?!"

"Alright, Molly, no need to be so hasty, we've only just gotten here," said my dad as Fred and George laughed their heads off behind me at mom scolding Bill.

I only gave Bill a knowing look and he gave me a hidden smile. He had written to me about his new look. I was more than glad to see my brother. Being around him made me forget all about what I had done, what I endured, and the pain I had caused. With Bill, I was just Ginny, his little sister who would sit on his lap and hear stories of Hogwarts.

However, considering that as I watched Ron embrace Bill, I suddenly wanted to be anywhere but there. Bill must have known by then all about the Chamber. We had managed to keep it a secret in school, yes I was the one who was dragged down into the Chamber but it was not divulged, however, that I was the one who opened it in the first place. But, as successful as we were at keeping it hidden at school, my parents- nor I for that matter- could keep it from the rest of our family.

Bill must have been so disappointed, and was waiting to get me alone to berate my choices and my actions. How could he ever look at me the same way? Everything was tarnished, and at least back home I could pretend that nothing had changed between my brother and I, since I didn't have to see the disappointment resonating in his eyes. He wouldn't be the only one who thought I was evil.

Voldemort was present in my dreams. The whispers…the chills… they were with my in every step I took. I took a step away because it was getting rather hard to breathe. The floo station was so packed with travelers; I bumped into a woman and became even more disoriented.

"_He will never love you again, Ginevra, why would he? How could someone as good as William Weasley love someone like you? Even the great and noble Harry Potter avoided you like plague once you left the Chamber."_

"Stop," I said out loud, clutching my head_. _

"Ginny?" said a voice from far away. My lungs were not working right, and I didn't have the voice to answer.

Everything Tom had said was true.

The Sun was much brighter than it was back home in Britain, the air was lighter too, and I felt I wasn't getting enough to fill my lungs. A splitting headache began to form.

"Ginny!" there was a crowd now; I had attracted attention.

"_Ronald hated what you did to the Granger girl…we almost had her, didn't we?"_

"It wasn't me…" I whispered. He made me do it. _I would never hurt Hermione…_

"It must be the climate, and exhaustion from the trip," said the voice of my mother, in what I knew was an attempt to draw away the curious crowd.

"_You see? They are ashamed and embarrassed of you…they brought you around the world to hide from the humiliation…they know the truth about you…they all do…"_

I couldn't even tell him he was wrong, because the headache took over, and my world went black.

I'm not sure how long I was out, exactly, I only remember several dreams portraying different outcomes that could have transpired in the Chamber, and none of them were good.

Harry had destroyed Tom Riddle…but somehow, he was still with me- and I still hadn't told anyone. He mostly spoke to me at night, in the time between dreaming and consciousness, when my mind had nothing to think about. I was terrified, and kept hoping that I would wake up in the morning and he'd be gone forever. But he never was...and it had been an entire month. Tom always brought fear and anxiety with him, but, I hadn't experienced such a bad headache since I passed out in the Chamber of Secrets.

I was extremely disoriented when I came to. I could tell that I was in some kind of cot, and that I was really hot. Extremely, in fact, and the only air was coming from the magical fan across the room. The ceiling was made of cotton and so I deducted that I was inside a tent. Carefully, I sat up, feeling the blood rush from my head as it spun. Nearly blacking out again, I forced myself to focus.

The tent was nicely furnished, in a completely different style that I could only describe as other worldly. The sun was beating through the fabric of the tent and I was drenched in my own sweat. The next thing I noticed was that I was all alone. That was odd, knowing my mother she wouldn't let me out of her sight when I was sick, especially on another continent.

"Shh!" said a voice from behind me. I turned and there wasn't a soul in sight. MY instinct told me to explore, but I was afraid as to what I could run into.

Thankfully, my fears were slightly calmed when I heard soft sniffling coming from the same direction; there was definitely someone behind the curtain on the far end of the room. I slowly made my way closer, and only stopped when my mother's shadow appeared. In reflex, I hid in the corner and peaked around. There was a thin, orange curtain separating my from the adjoining room, and the light that was hitting my parents casted their shadows onto the cloth.

It looked like they were in there with only Bill.

"How could you not have told me?" said my brother with a sniff. So it was Bill who was crying. I couldn't remember him ever crying before.

My parents replied softly, "It wasn't something you could put in a letter, dear."

"We wanted to tell you in person."

"Yeah? Well look how that worked out! I had to watch my little sister have an emotional breakdown, or a panic attack or whatever you call it, having no idea what could have possibly brought it on!" Bill's silhouette dropped his head into his hands.

This surprised me, I had been under the impression that Bill already knew.

"We had no idea that would happen, and we aren't even sure why! She'd been doing so well, she's been a bit quiet and reserved, but alright. I've never seen her like that."

"Not even when…_it _happened?"

My mother took Bill a cup something and watched him take a sip. "Well, we can't be entirely sure…Harry was the one with her…then," said Mum. "And, well, he's keeping as quiet as he can about this whole thing."

"But we need to know! What if something is genuinely wrong? Potter has no reason to be keeping secrets!"

"He's not _keeping secrets_," countered my father, "He's keeping her _confidence." _

I smiled- I knew my father would understand.

"Harry Potter…I just…can't fathom it."

"He's a good boy, Bill," said Mum, on the verge of tears.

"He saved my little sister's life; I'll never have one word to say against him." Bill sighed, "I just don't understand how we could have let this happen. She had _four_ brothers there who were supposed to be watching out for her. How did we let her slip through the cracks?"

"I've had a few good words with the other boys, Bill," assured my father, "And believe it or not, they feel even worse than you do. Don't' give them anymore of a hard time; you know how Ginny is when she is determined to keep something to herself."

"It's still wrong. Ginny-_our _Ginny- involved in this…horrific…what has Dumbledore said?"

Mum answered that one, "He said that this won't define who she I; she's much too strong to let this be her downfall. He said that she has brilliant things ahead of her, and that the Chamber will only help shape her into the person she is meant to be." Mum stopped for a moment, it was obvious that she wasn't having an easy time speaking of this, "Dumbledore believes your sister is destined for great accomplishments, but she'll have many demons to live with and hopefully get through," she finished with a thick voice.

"Does he think there's going to be anything wrong with her? What did Madam Pomfrey say?"

"She's healthy- still weak- but physically, Ginny is unharmed."

"But mentally? Emotionally?"

My parents turned to each other in hesitation, and in that moment my heart fell to my toes. They must have known that Tom Riddle was still inside my head…somehow. That's what I thought they were referring to. I started to accept that fact that there truly was something wrong with me. I was going to go mental…did I have a personality disorder? Would it affect my magic? I was evil. They knew it. They knew Tom still spoke to me…

Would they send me away? To some mental facility? I'd heard of witches and wizards whom had voices in their heads- wizards who'd gone mad- some were locked up…and others were…

Why had no one spoken to me about it? How could they run the risk of letting me over hear it like that? Why had everyone lied?

"He said…that with time…enough time to heal the emotional damage, she'll be fine," replied my father at last.

So they did believe I was fine?

"But you both don't seem too sure," Bill mildly accused, "I've worked with Dark Magic for a while now, and that diary sounds like just about the worst sort. I just can't believe that she's completely untouched by it."

One look at me and Bill already knew. I had known this was going to happen, that Bill would see the evil inside me. I started to tear as I stood there paralyzed to the spot. He knew that there was something wrong with me, it seemed even my parents were doubtful.

"Sweetheart, think of Harry, the boy has been touched with the darkest magic there is and he is doing just fine."

I wasn't sure if my mother was trying to convinced Bill, or herself.

"I don't know…something just feels off."

In time I would find out just how right Bill was. Dumbledore was right about my being destined for big things, but he also knew a bit more than he was telling us regarding my emotional complications. Regarding how Tom Riddle had affected my soul. There were even pieces of information that Dumbledore didn't even know at the time, like what the diary truly was. But you'll have to wait a lot longer to discover the truth.

Dumbledore was a great wizard…but he was human and he had several flaws. Some of the decisions he made were costly, and I can't help but wonder how things would have turned out if I knew what I know now about what truly happened in the Chamber of Secrets.

"She just needs family, love and time."

"So that's why you're all here, then?"

Mum's shadow nodded, "Dumbledore suggested that we get her away for a while, some fresh air and new sights. WE figured there was no place else we'd rather be than with the whole family. We told Charlie, and he thought it was great idea and we informed him of Ginny's…situation on the trip over. He didn't take it too well, as we knew you wouldn't either but we wouldn't possibly tell you over a floo call, or a letter. So here we all are."

"But don't tell her," said dad. "We don't want her to think we are worried about her; she needs to relax and enjoy her time here."

I felt guilty. I knew mum and dad had wanted to visit Bill for a very long time but perhaps they truly wanted to spend their winnings on something more…permanent. Had we really gone all that way just for me?

"How is she now?"

"She's calmed down. She stopped thrashing about half an hour ago."

Bill stood to refill his cup. "She's suffering from nightmares?"

"Yes," answered mum, "and I don't believe she knows the extent of them; I've woken up to her screams. But at least-at least they are dreams and they will pass."

I didn't want to hear anymore. I just kept feeling worse and worse. I hadn't a clue that I was keeping my mother from sleep.

"I'd better go in and check on her. The cooling charm must have worn off by now."

Quickly, I tip-toed across the room and climbed into my cot just as someone stepped into the room. Footsteps came closer as I feigned sleep, and then suddenly, I felt refreshed and cleansed. They must have been keeping cooling charms on me the whole time I'd been out.

"You can open your eyes. I know you're awake," said Bill from beside me, surprising me so much I opened my eyes. He smiled sadly, and I noted the trace of tears in his eyes.

"When did you know?"

"When I saw your shadow haul over back to be, I told mum I'd take care of it, so here I am."

I stayed silent peering up at my eldest brother from under the light, sheer blanket. "Do you hate me?" I asked him in a small voice.

"Hate you? How- what? Why would I ever hate you?"

"Because I've made such a mess of things, you don't have to pretend like this doesn't change things, I'm _'emotionally traumatized', _Bill."

Pushing me over so he could sit, Bill rolled his eyes, "I am not going to say this twice, so listen to me now. I do not hate, nothing you _ever_ do could make me hate you. You are not a bad person, Ginny. You are one of the best I've ever met, and nothing that has happened will change that. Ever."

I personally hadn't spoken to anyone about what had happened, other than Dumbledore. And although explaining myself to him was difficult, it was nothing compared to telling my own brother. Tears of my own began to form, "I hurt people," I whispered.

"Ginny-"

"Bill, I let him…possess me- I let him…use me. I hurt Colin; I hurt….Her-Hermione."

Bill had heard all about Hermione from Ron. It seemed Ron had a lot to say about his _close_ friend. But Bill's face seemed heartbroken at the mention of her name. "I'm so sorry," I was terrified that he'd be disgusted with my actions, and I had never felt so vulnerable. How could he say that nothing I could do would make him hate me? Hadn't my parents told him what I'd done? Ron hated me…

"I know you're sorry, but it should be us who are sorry. We should have noticed something was wrong."

"I'm scared, Bill," I admitted, "What if I really am evil? What if-"

"You are NOT evil. You are Ginny Weasley. You are _not _evil." He took my hand, "But, we don't have to talk about this right now. You need your rest, and tomorrow I'm showing you the pyramids."

I half smiled for his benefit, "That sounds nice." I couldn't really believe him. At least, yet. "I don't want to sleep now, I've been sleeping all day."

"Okay then," said with a nod, "I know what we could do."

Bill summoned a chess board from across the room and began setting it up, as I watched him, wondering how he could see me the same way he used to.

"Hey," he called, "Wipe those tears, this is no game for cry babies."

I actually let out a throaty laugh.

"By the way there is something we need to discuss."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. The next time you want to get the attention of the great Harry Potter, just fall out of a window next time, it'll probably be less dangerous."

And I really laughed at that one.

Bill made the first move with his pawn, "So what is he like? Everything you imagined."

I countered his move, "No. He's better."

"And how's that?"

"Because he's real."

The remainder of the trip went smoothly, as far as my health and sanity was concerned. Tom hadn't shown up so strongly again and only returned in my dreams.

"Would you get in trouble for bringing me here?" I asked, running a hand across the smooth golden bricks.

"Of course not. All witches and wizards are allowed up here ever since the Egyptians built this thing."

"It's incredible how the muggles were able to create this without magic."

Bill laughed, "Without magic? Please, Ginny, civilization wasn't that evolved. Without the help of wizards, this pyramid would not exist right now."

"No way!" I said, looking out over the desert. Bill had taken the family to visit the pyramids, however, it wasn't just any trip. Bill was able to take us inside the structure, and at that moment, Bill and I were standing on a platform which opened out into a hidden window at the top of the pyramid. Standing on the edge, you could see the entire world stretched out before you.

"Yeah, ever since the beginning of time, wizards and muggles were able to work together. But then we were banished, branded as dark forces and evil creatures, we were forced to make our own hidden world, that of which only a few secret muggles are actually aware of. But we still have our secret workings in the muggle world, like this. This landing you are standing on, we have several more just like it on all the wonders of the world."

"And the muggles can't see us?"

"Not at all, we have an Impenetrable Charm on this entire area."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, enjoying the fresh air. Being that high felt like being on a broom. The world went on forever; flat and empty golden land. So simple, so beautiful.

"Thanks for this, Bill." I felt free and open, as if nothing would ever bother me again. The rest of the family was exploring downstairs somewhere, and I felt almost full again.

"Ginny?" called a timid Bill. "I wanted to ask you something, I was hoping you'd tell me what drew you to the diary in the first place," he looked at his feet, "I mean, once it started writing back, why did you become so attached to it?" I could see the trepidation in his eyes for asking something so personal. And although I truly wanted to avoid answering, he'd been so god to me that he deserved an answer. What _did_ draw me? It was a fair question.

"Well, I suppose…Tom was…friendly. And since I was a Weasley, everyone thought they already knew who I was and never took the time to get to know me for me…I was lonely…" It seemed silly, admitting something so childish.

"And he said his name was Tom. He was genuinely interested in what I had to say…Most of the first years were scared of coming near me," I smiled sadly, "I was Fred and George's sister, and their reputation is infamous even with the first years. And Ron was Harry Potter's best friend, not only was he busy, but everyone was more preoccupied with _that_ Weasley."

"You really did slip right through the cracks, didn't you?"

"Tom, he was…he always said just what I needed to hear." I didn't know how but he did. He was embedded in me. Now, of course, I understand, but not at 12. He understood my feelings and used them against me only to make me weak.

"And so you trusted him?" he curiously asked.

"Yes."

"You should have told someone when you started forgetting things."

"But I would have gotten into trouble, Bill, I was frightened. I thought they would blame me. And if I had thought it was me…I would have turned myself in. I truly had no idea. I felt that I would have known….but then I wasn't so sure anymore."

Bill sighed, "Not every friend is going to betray you like Riddle did."

"I know that. Not everyone is You-Know-Who's 16 year old self."

"Touché."

"Bill, Ginny?" I turned to the entrance of the landing, coming face to face with Ron's intrigued expression.

"Hey, little brother, come on up."

"This is incredible! Blimey, you can see everything from up here," he said as he shuffled his feet near the edge and peered down.

"I'm going to go find mum and dad," said Bill, "You can't fall because the charms prevent it, but don't do anything stupid." With a smile, my eldest brother was gone.

"What were you guys talking about?" asked Ron.

I sat, pulling my legs to my chest so that I could lean my head on my knees and enjoy the view. "Nothing terribly interesting."

Ron had never been very intuitive, especially when we were younger, he was highly sensitive, and I believe that was the reason he avoided all gushy, mushy, emotionally traumatic situations like a spider. Then there were moments he surprised me.

"Yeah, I'm sure You-Know-Who isn't all that interesting."

"Were you eavesdropping?" I asked, a bit miffed at the entire family's lacking concern for privacy.

He shrugged, "Not really, but what else would you be talking about? Quidditch? You haven't been in that kind of mood all summer."

"Well, I'm sorry if my _mood_ isn't what you want it to be, Ron. Now, why don't you just go and write to Harry and Hermione or something."

"Because I'm talking to you! All summer long you've been distant and I just want to help!"

"Well, don't."

"Isn't that nice after everything I've done to you-"

"Harry got me out of the Chamber of Secrets, Ron, you weren't even there."

It was the meanest thing I'd ever said to my brother, by far, and even to this day. I know. But I was afraid he was about to scold me for what I'd done wrong, and I got on the defensive. I'd heard enough of it from everyone else, including my ever present conscience. I regretted my words, instantly, but I never took them back.

His reaction, however, surprised me.

Ron's face contorted into a frown as he slid down to the spot next to me, "I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I should have been there. It should have been me; I shouldn't have gotten left behind on the outside of the Chamber. But most of all, I should have known there was something wrong."

I rolled my eyes, "And I shouldn't have trusted Tom Riddle; we all have things we regret-"

"I should have been the one to get you out, Ginny. Not Harry."

"And you _shouldn't _have ignored me, or have been embarrassed by me."

"So you're mad at me?"

"I'm mad at everything," I sighed. We stayed there, silent and still, for a while. Just staring out into the sky.

"I would do it again, you know," he said, "Go down into those pipes to save you."

"I know."

"And I'll be here when you're ready to talk to me."

"I know."

Nodding, he asked, "So…what do we do now?"

"We sit here and don't do anything stupid."

Ron and I still had a lot to work through. Out of all of my siblings, aside from Fred and George, of course, Ron and I were the closest; before school started that is. In that moment on the pyramid I had never felt so far from him. We had a very on and off relationship and for the next few years we rarely ever saw eye to eye. And unfortunately, we couldn't blame Riddle for that one.

The trip ended, as all good things do. And right before we went off to school, we spent some time at the Leaky Cauldron, with Hermione and low and behold, Harry Potter.

Whereas Hermione arrived with my family, it seemed Harry had already been staying at the Leaky for some time. He had apparently, in a fit of rage and accidental magic, blown up his vile aunt into a twice sized balloon of a woman. He then effectively left the destructive household, finding his way to the Leaky Cauldron by use of the Knight Bus- the Wizarding form of transportation that picks up any stranded witch of wizard unseen by any muggle.

When I saw him at first, I couldn't help but feel foolishly embarrassed. I wondered if he resented saving me for all the trouble he ended up in, and the danger he experienced. However, Harry was nothing but polite and utterly kind. I had hoped that after seeing the light nearly leave his eyes I'd be able to hold a full length conversation with him, but alas, not yet.

I was never a naïve person. When I was younger the reason I seemed oblivious to things was because I was intentionally left in the dark, "You're too young," they would tell me. But I knew when something was wrong.

For instance when I got rid of the diary the moment I began to suspect it.

No one told me what was wrong the summer after my first year, I figured it out myself. It had to do with Sirius Black; the man who at that point I believed to be evil.

Sirius Black was a mass murderer who had killed thirteen people the year I was born, the year that Voldemort was defeated by Harry Potter.

Now, it seemed he had escaped Azkaban Prison, being the first wizard in history to do so. Could you imagine? And it only gets worse. What was more horrific, I found out, being my sharp self, it was Harry he was after.

I had heard from my father (well I had eavesdropped really) that Sirius had been talking in his sleep, for a few weeks before he made his infamous escape. He kept repeated the same words over and over, "He's at Hogwarts. He's at Hogwarts."

It didn't take a master mind to put together a hunch. Of course I hadn't put it all together right away, but I had a feeling.

Sirius Black, one of the most dangerous men alive, and known for working under Voldemort's regime, had broken out of the world's most impenetrable unit secured with the most brilliant and talented wizards. He was wanted more than anyone at the moment and was out somewhere unseen, and I could only imagine that he was headed straight for Harry Potter.

I remember the day Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Percy and I left for school. I was excited to start the year; I was older and ready to start fresh, to forgive myself for what I let happen my first year. The lot of us were, as I mentioned, at the Leaky Cauldron. Ron and Hermione were arguing, again, Fred and George were playing with some artifacts they collected from Egypt, my father and were Percy discussing something about the Wizarding community we experience there, and mum was looking out for everyone.

I don't remember what it was exactly that Ron and Hermione were bickering about (never can really) but because of it, she began speaking with me, and I found that I really enjoyed her company. Whether it was because I never really had a girl around to confide in, or even talk to- with having six brothers well it was hard to find girl time.

It seemed Hermione had the same feelings, she was an only child and her two best friends were boys. Our friendship grew quickly and it wasn't long after that I considered her my sister as well.

However as intriguing as my new friend was, I didn't miss how tired Harry looked, as though he hadn't gotten any sleep the night before. Harry was preoccupied with something and I wished I could figure out what it was.

Hermione called my attention again, "Ginny? Were you listening? I asked if you were planning on taking Ancient Runes next year."

"What?" I asked tearing my eyes away from the boy.

"Ancient Runes. I know it's a rather prestigious class, but it's never too early to start…what are you staring at?" I had accidentally let my eyes slip to the other side of the table again.

"Uh, nothing…Ancient Runes… I hear that class is a head case waiting to happen."

She laughed once, "Yes, well, there are already people who think of me as a head case." I couldn't help but notice her own eyes slipping to my brother Ron, who, at the moment was stuffing his face with everything and anything in sight.

"Hermione, Ron is a nitwit, don't give him a second thought; things come out of his mouth before he thinks about them." We both glanced his way, "Heck he stuffs things _in_ his mouth without even thinking."

She laughed, "Well I guess you're right, but, I know what you're thinking- I don't see Ron _that _way." Her hazel eyes looked back down to the open book on the table, she was trying to conceal a blush even though there was no need.

"Right; and I have ears the size of a house elf's."

She looked back up with wide eyes. "Ginny, please don't find me rude when I say this, but, I never thought of you as such an outspoken person. You've always seemed so quiet and timid." That was her attempt at changing the subject. I was about to call her out on that when George interrupted, having heard that last bit from Hermione.

"Ha," He snorted, "Quiet. I could swear the Ron wishes he had a muzzle at times, but me and Fred, we find her completely entertaining."

"Thank you dear brother of mine, but the answer is still no, I will not for the life of me try your newest project." George rolled his eyes in defeat and turned back to the rest of the family.

Hermione shook her head, "Why then Ginny? At school, you kept to yourself so much, when we would ask you something you'd practically faint."

I looked over at Harry again; he had finally looked up from his breakfast with sleepy eyes and engaged Ron in conversation about the new broom, the Firebolt. I took one glance at his eyes and it reminded me just how easily I could faint looking into them.

Hermione didn't miss this, "That's what I thought."

"What?"

She just raised an eyebrow at Harry and turned back to her book. I suddenly became exceedingly nervous. Would she tell him? She was his best friend! This couldn't be good.

"No, it's not- Hermione I don't think of him _that _way."

She didn't look up from her book, "Right. And I have ears the size of a house elf's."

I couldn't help but notice what close attention my father was paying to Harry the morning we left for King's Cross station. Everywhere we went and each turn we took, dad kept close to Harry' elbow. This only fueled my suspicion that Harry was in some sort of danger.

Finally making it through the barrier, the Hogwarts Express never looked so beautiful. For me in that moment, it represented a new start. And nervous as I was, I couldn't wait for that new start to begin.

"Ah, there's Penelope!" said Percy (HP POA ch. 5 _The Dementor_) running a hand through his hair, he straightened his Head Boy badge on his robes, and hurried to the pretty blonde girl that was smiling shyly at him a few feet away.

Penelope was my brother's girlfriend, and I found it rather humorous the way he blushed and stuck his chest out to meet her. I wasn't the only one either, Harry who had come through the barrier right before me caught my eyes and we shared a secret laugh. My heart did a little jump in that moment. And even though it wasn't much, it was something. It was proof that somewhere deep down, I could handle myself around Harry. We shared something life changing, and that couldn't just go ignored.

"I need to talk to you in private," Harry said to Ron and Hermione."

"Go away, Ginny," said Ron.

No one said a word. Maybe it could go ignored.

"Oh that's nice," I replied, stalking off.

Or at least, that's what they thought I did. I took a quick round about and finally came to the door of the compartment the three of them found. My story has several instances of eavesdropping; it was unfortunately the most effective way I ever actually got information. I didn't get the beginning of the conversation but I did hear enough.

It was Ron I heard first, "Are you sure that's what my dad said?"

"Positive," replied Harry. "Sirius Black is coming after me; I'm the reason he escaped Azkaban. At least, that's what everyone thinks. I mean, it makes sense. That's why I got off easy for blowing up Aunt Marge."

"I thought you said it was an accident," inquired Hermione.

"It was-"

"They take underage magic very seriously at the Ministry," Ron added, "Obviously Fudge was too grateful that Harry was alive when he turned up at the Leaky to punish him."

My eyes were practically bulging from their eye sockets by this point. My suspicions were confirmed; Sirius Black was targeting Harry, I just didn't understand why. What would the motive to be- and what about the timing? Black had been rotting in his cell for twelve years. What made him disappear all of a sudden? Why did he wait? Or did something finally just snap?

Nothing was adding up. Harry had been at Hogwarts for two full years, if Sirius was so preoccupied with him being at Hogwarts wouldn't he have escaped two years earlier? So if in fact everyone _was _wrong about Black, then who was he really after? It would only make sense that it was someone new to Hogwarts.

"You're, Ginny Weasley, right?" A new voice broke through my ponderings. I turned to meet a young boy I knew was in my brother's year.

"Yes, I am."

"I'm Neville…Neville Longbottom," he told me somewhat shyly.

I shook his hand, "Nice to meet you."

Neville was the first real friend I made at Hogwarts, sure I had befriended Hermione over the summer but at school, she was mainly involved with Harry and Ron. Neville and I…our friendship would become the stuff of legends at Hogwarts. But back then, he was still the shy and clumsy little boy.

"I was just on my way to say hi to Harry, Ron and Hermione. I'm guessing they are in there?"

"Yes, actually," I said, knowing that he couldn't just walk in on that kind of conversation. I needed to stall. "But before you do, you should know that Hermione got a new cat over the summer, and well, it's not very friendly. You aren't allergic are you?"

Neville shrugged, "Not that I know of, my grandmum says I'm only allergic to turnips. It makes it kinds of hard to work in the Hogwarts garden, to be honest, my nose starts to swell up. You wouldn't imagine the number of turnips in the greenhouses…"

He was sweet…just not extremely socially talented. He'd get better with time. Before I could end his soliloquy, a new distraction presented itself.

The blood drained from his face, "Oh no," Neville muttered.

"What is it?"

"Malfoy."

The name made my stomach churn. Draco Malfoy was a very bad person, and his father was even worse. Lucius Malfoy was the one who put Tom Riddle's diary in my cauldron the year before. Or at least that's what Harry believed. The Malfoy's play a crucial role in this story, as the vicious most cruel villains you will ever come across.

"Quick!" the boy named Neville said to me, "Hide!"

Reacting purely on impulse, I followed him behind a stack of trunks still waiting to be settled inside the compartment.

"Why are we hiding?" I asked when I noticed the white blonde boy with sharp robes and two other hefty boys on either side of him stopping outside Harry's compartment door.

Neville seemed extremely uncomfortable, "Avoiding Malfoy is one of my favorite past times."

I shook my head, "Malfoy is a big, ugly ferret. By hiding away from him, we only make him stronger. It's better to just stand up to him and not give him the satisfaction." How I felt about his father, however, that was a different story.

"I wish, I could, but I wouldn't know how to stand up to someone so…_ferrety_."

I spent most of the train ride speaking with Neville behind the trunks. I found that though he might have been a bit dull, and extremely shy and insecure, he had a sense of humor. It was a while later that the train began to slow.

"That was oddly quick."

"Could we be making a stop before we get to the school?"

To add to the strange situation, the lights went off and the train plunged into darkness. "Ginny?"

"I'm still here."

Neville was getting nervous, "Let's go inside the compartment; maybe they'll have some answers."

I agreed with him, but seconds later I was all alone, as I couldn't see which way he went. I heard several voices from all over; other students were wondering what was going on as well. Carefully feeling my way, I pulled open what I believed to be the right compartment door.

"Who's that?"

"Who's that?" I countered.

"Ginny?" 

"Hermione?"

"What are you doing?"

It was weird taking to blackness. "I was looking for Ron," I replied, only half lying.

"Come in and sit down."

"Not here!" cried Harry's voice, "I'm here!"

Well _that_ would have been embarrassing.

After a few more moments of rearranging and settling into the dark, suddenly a light came from the corner of the compartment. A light produced by a man I had never seen before, startling me into silence. I had no clue that there was anyone else in the room, especially someone I didn't recognize.

The question of his identity was on the tip of my tongue, but was interrupted when the compartment opened again. This time by a cloaked figure that seemed to be floating into the room. Fear gripped my body,(I grabbed Hermione's arm beside me) and I vaguely wondered that the bloody hell was happening. If I was imagining it all in my head.

Just when that thought was about to form into words, I became freezing cold.

It was colder than any winter I'd ever experienced, and the cold went down into my soul. I felt the cold inside, rather that surrounding me. It was a biting cold, it stung my heart.

The only thought that came to my mind was oddly, the time my Uncle Jim died, and the sadness I felt. Then I was thrusted back into my first year at school. The loneliness the confusion…the fear…Tom's voice in my head telling me that I was going to die, that he was using me…using my body to kill people…the pain I felt in the Chamber…the pain that was strong enough to make me lose consciousness…

"_So they've let you back have they? They're letting you go back to school…what fools…" _I wanted to tell him he would always be wrong. About everything. _"No matter…Harry Potter is who really counts…and he will never, ever see you as anything more than a helpless...little…girl…" _

I couldn't find the voice to tell him any different.

Just as darkness was threatening to pull me under I could hear Hermione's voice calling to me, "Ginny!"

The cloaked creature was gone, the lights had returned. I was shaking so strongly I almost fell from me seat.

"Ginny, thanks goodness!" she said before turning her attention elsewhere. "Harry!"

Pulling myself up, trying not to vomit I noticed Harry was unconscious on the floor. What was that? How could something have the power to make someone feel that terrible? Tom's voice was clear as day. It was as though he'd never left. As though I was right there with his 16 year old memory as it sucked the life out of me.

I curled up, trying to understand. As if far away, I heard Harry wake up. But I was too spent to ask if he was alright. The man apparently named Lupin, who I found was going to be our Defense Against the Dark teacher, began giving us all pieces of chocolate. I noticed that he gave the larger pieces to Harry and myself. It was fitting, I suppose. Chocolate was food for the soul. It was medicine for the heart. It always made you feel better.

"What was that thing?" Harry asked.

"A dementor. One of the dementors of Azkaban," Lupin was a tired looking man. A man who looked older than he probably was. He had soft blue eyes and sandy brown hair; the appearance of someone who would look very handsome all cleaned up. He promptly left to speak with the driver, giving the others the chance to discuss what happened.

Not in the mood to socialize, I closed my eyes and listened to the conversation. I understood that the thing called "a dementor" was on the hunt for Sirius Black. I couldn't decide what frightened me more, the fact that Tom could be brought back to my consciousness so easily, or the fact that Sirius Black was being hunted on the Hogwarts Express.

"_You belong to me…"_

After the incident on the train, everything else at school seemed monotonous in comparison. Aside from the fact that dementors dotted the perimeter of the school grounds, and the fact that my nightmares had yet to cease, the start of term was thankfully regular…or as close as you can come at a magical boarding school.

Hermione and I became close friends very quickly, and so of course it became nearly impossible to keep my childish infatuation from her. She told me to wait and see how things would play out; I could tell she liked the idea of my feeling towards her best friend.

The _Daily Prophet _had been going on with new information of Sirius Black, and it wasn't much; There were a few sightings, though they could have been rumors. Other than that, he had disappeared.

Professor Remus Lupin turned out to be an exceedingly intelligent man. He was a whole lot better of a teacher than Gilderoy Lockheart was the previous year. Plus, he seemed to be well informed on the subject of dementors. I was hoping I could find out all he knew. Ron, Hermione and Neville, faired the attack with nothing but a small case of the chills. I needed to know why I hadn't. And why Harry hadn't. If there was a link between Harry and me that was the cause of our breakdowns…then I deserved to know. And if that link had anything to do with Tom Riddle a.k.a. Voldemort, something had to be done.

A few weeks into the first term, Halloween to be exact, the third years and above were given the chance to visit the Hogsmeade, the quaint little village outside the castle gates. A fieldtrip form was required to attend, one that was signed by a legal guardian. Unfortunately, due to Harry's hasty flee from the Dursley's, he hadn't gotten the signature (not that they would have signed it regardless). When he entered the common room full of first and second years all by his lonesome, my heart broke for him.

I gave him a small smile as he passed my solace on the sofa, and his face brightened a bit, but the gloom was evident.

I had just returned my attention to my Transfiguration essay when, "Umm…Ginny?"

Finding me voice, and willing for it not to crack, I answered, "Yes?"

Unsure of himself, Harry rounded the couch and took a seat. As nervous as I felt, I was more curious to hear what it was all about.

"I'm not sure if…well…" he ran a pushed a hand through his hair. I knew I was making him uncomfortable. He couldn't even talk to me! How could I blame him when I couldn't even look him in the eyes without blushing?

I stared at his eyebrows. There. If I stared at his eyebrows I couldn't mess it up.

"I don't want to upset you, but, I've been meaning to ask…about what happened on the train."

I wasn't exactly sure what it was he wanted to hear. The truth I guessed. But I hadn't told that to anyone… "What do you want to know?" I asked my hands.

"Well, aside from me, it seemed that you had the worst reactions to the dementor."

I nodded slowly.

"Ron and Hermione were just fine, other than feeling a bit chilly. What made ours any different?"

"I don't know," I replied in a small voice.

"What do you remember from it? I heard a woman screaming…I think-Ginny- I think it was my mum's voice."

I was surprised at his confession, and surprised that he would tell me something that seemed so personal. "You're mum?"

I had to look up at him, I owed him that much for such honesty. He really seemed worried about what was happening to him…us. "Yes. I think it was right before…" his eyes darkened slightly as he stared into the fireplace.

"Right before what?"

He shook his head, "Never mind. That's not what's important. What's important is you."

"Me?"

"Yeah," he said, and I dreaded his next words, "Did you hear anything out of the ordinary?"

_ You belong to me…_

"No."

"Oh." He was so disappointed. I didn't think I had it in me to lie to his face like that. Harry had always been such a weakness; I was shocked I hadn't revealed all my inner most secrets the moment he asked as much.

The guilt was weighing down hard on my shoulders, "Well, I-" Could I tell him? Should I?

He looked up hopefully, "Yes?"

His eyes were so beautiful, so open and honest. Tom had told me to stay quiet, and I always thought that telling anyone I had voices in my head would lead to mental hospitals. I knew I needed help. I knew that Harry was probably the only person in the world who could understand, and I knew that denying him the truth would be the end to any friendship we would have started. I would never be able to look him in the eyes again.

"I'm sorry. Harry, I…just please promise me you won't say a word to anyone," I pleaded.

He was morbidly curious now, "Alright. I promise."

Looking around us to make sure no one was in ear shot, I made my choice and whispered, "I felt like I was back in the Chamber." Noting his widened eyes, I took a deep breath and continued, "I felt the pain of Tom Riddle when he…"

"Gin?"

How was it so difficult to tell Harry? He was actually there! But it was ghastly admitting it out loud. "I heard his voice. He was telling me that I shouldn't be going to back to Hogwarts." I blushed in embarrassment, disgusted with myself, "That I was going to hurt more people."

We both sat there, silent.

Life went on around us, laughter and happiness. To me…their happiness was too loud. Harry was probably going to get up and walk away- avoid me the best he could for as long as we would know each other.

A sudden heat graced my hand, and it took a second to register that Harry had covered it with his own. "Voldemort can't use you to hurt people anymore," I flinched at the mention of _his _name. "Tom's gone, Ginny. He's not in your head," whispered Harry. "It's going to be okay."

I met his eyes head on for the first time, without looking away, without a blush, without any hesitation, I just looked at him. And he looked back. That's the true moment I learned there was a connection between the green eyed boy and myself. We might not have been best friends yet…but it was a start. "Okay," was all I said.

Moving away, as if clearing his head, Harry smiled shyly, "Thanks for telling me, Ginny. I know what it's like to hear voices in your head, and I think talking about it will help."

I blushed, _again. _

"I still don't understand what happened. I guess that's partly because I don't understand dementors, but it's good to know I'm not the only one…sensitive to them."

"I'm glad I could help… I guess. I have to go, Harry. I'll see you later," I said before quickly grabbing my belongings and rushing to my dorm. Once there, I slumped onto my bed. I knew that if I spent one more moment there with Harry on the couch I was going to explode.

_You stupid girl, you shouldn't have told him…he'll never see you the same now._

In that moment, I decided I needed to speak with Professor Lupin as soon as possible.

A while later, after the Halloween feast ended, is when things took another turn for the worst. I had been returning to the common room with my new friend Colin, as we had just parted ways with Luna (she was on her way to the Ravenclaw tower) discussing the food at the feast, nothing particularly interesting, when I literally bumped into a wall of people crowded on the steps outside the Fat Lady Portrait. Everyone was oddly silent.

"What's going on?" (Flight of the Fat Lady P.O.A.)I asked Hermione, Ron and Harry whom were conveniently right before us.

I received no answer, but that didn't seem to matter since Dumbledore appeared, sweeping toward the portrait. Something was terribly wrong.

Moving forward to investigate, the moment I got a glimpse of what the holdup was about I paled, as did Ron, Harry, Hermione and Colin. The Fat Lady was not in her portrait, instead it was slashed repeatedly so that pieces of the canvas hung loosely off the frame. Several teachers arrived then, and before they could begin the search for the missing opera singer, Peeves the Poltergeist (the most irritating ghost that could be found on the school grounds) informed us that she had run through the fourth floor not long before, apparently in a right panicked state.

"Did she say who did it?" asked a still rational Dumbledore.

Peeves nodded, and the audience waited for the response with shallow breath. I had a horrid feeling I knew what was coming- and I could have sworn, Hermione, Ron and Harry shared the sentiment.

"He got very angry when she wouldn't let him in, you see. Nasty temper he's got, that Sirius Black."

Sirius Black was inside the castle. And at least four people in the crowd were certain why.


	6. MAY 2013 NEW: The Potter Pattern

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Entery Six: The Potter Pattern

_"He drowns in his dreams, _

_an exquisite extreme I know,_

_He's as damned as he seems,_

_But more heaven than a heart could hold…_

_He's magic and myth,_

_As strong as what I believe,  
>He's tragedy with,<em>

_More damage than a soul should see,  
>But he's so beautiful, he's a beautiful disaster." Beautiful Disaster Kelly Clarkson<em>

You didn't have to know him long to notice a pattern in his life. Just when things were becoming stable and ordinary, something would come up and Harry Potter once again found himself in the midst of the danger and confusion all over again. I had never once really considered the risky actions he performed I just took notice in the fact that he was always a part of these great adventure stories, not realizing what exactly they entailed. But as I got older I found that it wasn't always fun and excitement, it was life threatening. His life, no matter how famous and loved he was, it wasn't what he deserved.

My first glimpse, of course, was down in the chamber. But I was the damsel in distress, it wouldn't be until later, that I really had a first-hand experience with these so called, "adventures". Nightmares, more like.

But now, Sirius Black was in the castle hunting him down and the danger was vehemently upon us, upon him.

The students were shoveled off to the Great Hall along with the Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs and to most of our displeasure, the Slytherins; supplied with rather lavish purple sleeping bags, we were all to stay within the confines of the magically guarded Great Hall under the watchful eyes of the Head Girl and the Head Boy (Percy –as if he'd let you forget it) and sleep while the faculty and staff searched the castle for the notoriously dangerous madman, Sirius Black. It was a rather complicated situation, and I knew that there wouldn't be much sleeping going on.

"Let's set up over there," came a whisper from my left.

Hermione, Ron and Harry were already making their way, rather inconspicuously, toward the corner of the room.

"This is rather exciting, isn't it?"

I turned toward the new voice, "Exciting? Luna, aren't you at the least bit anxious?"

My friend stared at me as though considering, "Not really, I guess. If Sirius Black is clever enough to get through the dementors and sneak into the school….then he is smart enough to not stick around once he couldn't get into the Gryffindor common room, don't you think? The walls do talk in this place, everyone knows how the portraits gossip, even Sirius Black."

Her logic, surprisingly, calmed my nerves. It was true what she said, and I considered how clever the man had to be to get all the way to the seventh floor without being detected as I set up my sleeping bag beside hers. "How do you think he got in anyway?" I asked once we were both warm and settled.

"Oh there are a millions ways to get into Hogwarts…the real question is 'which way did he chose?' My bet is the underground tunnels."

"Luna, there aren't any underground tunnels."

"Well, they are supposed to be secret, so you wouldn't know about them, would you?"

I sighed. For a while I laid there consumed in my musings of a man made of smoke, whisping his way through the walls, suffocating anyone who stood in the way of his goal, Harry Potter.

Then, I started to worry about the so called "safety" of the school in general. Voldemort managed to hold a position as a Professor two years before; the previous year, the chamber of secrets was opened by an eleven year old, which threatened the lives of hundreds of children and hospitalized a dozen….and currently…. A murderer was quite possibly running rampage through the halls.

My older brothers never came home for holiday with such dire tales of their schooling; the most explicit stories came from the Quidditch pitch. Was this really what Hogwarts was supposed to be like? Or could there be some coincidence that the moment Harry stepped back into our world… it went bonkers? If only I knew then, that something like Sirius Black tearing up the Fat Lady's portrait would be child's play compared to what Hogwarts was going to witness within and without its walls in the next four years….

"Luna," I asked, coming back to reality, "What exactly do you think is so exciting about all this?" I would never have thought Luna as the adrenaline type.

"Well, it's like a big sleepover. With sleeping bags and sleeping on the floor with a friend, and everything. I've never been to a sleepover before."

The answer was not what I was expecting at all. Then again, it never was the case with Luna. That's what I liked about her so much. She was the most refreshing person I ever knew. I smiled "Me either."

She smiled back. And for a little while, even though the school around us was gossiping and spewing theories and concerns… Luna and I didn't pay much mind. I had had my fill of danger for the day. At that moment, I was having a sleepover with my best friend. Black be damned.

The morning came without any results and an all clear on the grounds. Sirius Black was gone again. He remained, however, the topic of conversation throughout the student body for the following days. Questions on his motives and on his whereabouts as well as exaggerated stories on supposed sightings were very popular with the school population.

"I swear, I saw a glimpse of him today by the lake! He ran into the trees and vanished again!"

"I swear there was someone following me from the third floor corridor last night, it must have been Sirius Black!"

The only people who took the Black situation seriously (no pun intended….okay, maybe a little bit) was those who knew he was hell bent on killing off Harry. Meaning the faculty, and Harry, Ron, Hermione and myself. Life did, however, move on. Classes kept coming and students kept studying, and Quidditch kept being played.

It was during one of these matches that the rain came down so thick I could barely see my hands let alone the players on their brooms. Instead of staying indoors like some of the other first and second years, I was out there cheering on the Gryffindor team with the older, more passionate students.

Ravenclaw was putting up a good fight, and while it was tough to watch the game, the excitement was still gripping the audience.

"I hope no one gets hurt!" Hermione cried over the roar of the wind and the crowd.

I laughed, "It's Quidditch Hermione! Of course someone's going to get hurt!"

"That's an awful thing to say!"

"But it's the truth! The players know what they are getting themselves into, it's a brutal game!"

"If you know so much about Quidditch, why don't you go on up there then? I'm sure you'd love to play in these conditions!"

"I'll be up there someday, I promise, and I'd play in any condition."

Hermione shook her head and shielded her eyes from the rain, "I can't even tell who is who!"

"As long as you can tell who is red and who is blue, nothing else matters- WOO!" I cried as Gryffindor made a score.

"Who's that?" yelled Hermione, pointing out a player who was ascending into the sky at an impressive pace.

Putting two and two together was simple.

"It's Harry," I informed her.

She rewarded me with a skeptical, but concerned look, "How do you figure?"

"Well, the only reason someone would be up that high would be to follow the snitch. And since that player is wearing read, and is a seeker…."

We watched as Harry disappeared into the clouds.

"Did you see that?" Cried a hyped Ron from Hermione's other side; he'd been enthusiastically enjoying the game with his roommates named Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas. "Harry's just crossed the pitch boundaries!"

It really was all exciting in that moment. We all expected Harry to emerge from the storm, the snitch tight in hand, as well as and a victory for Gryffindor. That would have been… amazing.

And then suddenly: there was a crack in the sky, a hole in the clouds, in which a form fell through. Harry was free falling…off his broom. Falling over one hundred feet, he became clearer and clearer to the crowd, as he fell closer, and it was obvious that he was completely unconscious.

He was just falling, helpless, lifeless, as though he was already dead. When he fell, my heart fell with him. Hermione gasped at my side, shocked into immobility. Harry had been doing so beautifully, playing the game with determination and swiftness. He fell as fast as the rain drops.

Thankfully, Dumbledore stopped him before he met the ground fatally. His body slowed to a drift and it was Dumbledore who had cast the spell to catch his body.

People were screaming but I hadn't heard them until Dumbledore caught Harry, my world had just ignored everything around me and focused on him. I breathed a sigh of relief, and turned to find that Ron and Hermione had vanished from my side. I wanted to go with them, knowing they would be going to see if he was alright, but when I turned they were gone. I was alone… and I was wet. I grudgingly made my way back up to the castle not caring to see if that damned Cedric Diggory won the match.

Dementors. As if Harry didn't have enough to worry about at the time, the dementors monitoring the school affected Harry worse than anyone else. I heard all this when I entered the castle and McGonagall was yelling up a storm about how they shouldn't even had been on the pitch to start with. The dementor had reached Harry up in the clouds where no one could see, rendering him unconscious. Just like that day on the train.

The dementors had just turned deadly.

I spent that whole night, (I know, I know.) making a (Merlin, what got into me I had no idea.) singing get well card.

Yes it sang.

Yes I gave it to him.

"I think it looks great!"

"You really think he'll like it?"

"Of course, but then, I don't know him. So, I could be wrong. Maybe he doesn't like anything. I wouldn't know. I know I like it."

I laughed, "Thanks, Luna."

We were in the library, far from the nut case that was Madam Pince. I felt pretty confident about the card, and was just showing Luna the finishing touches.

"It truly was awful, seeing him fall."

"Yes, it was. Why do you think these things happen to him Luna?"

I closed the finished product and turned to my friend. She sighed, "I don't know, maybe it's his scar."

"His scar? As in, everyone is after him- these things happen because he's the Harry Potter?"

"Well yes…in a way, I think it's more that his scar has some magical power, some kind of curse or something that draws danger towards him…like a magnet!"

She thought, his scar…

"His scar is magical?"

"We're magical aren't we? Why couldn't the parts of us, like a scar, be magical too?"

I thought she was insane. I loved her, but, I really thought she was insane. As an older woman now, knowing things even most full aged wizards wouldn't dream of, I see that she was spot on. But you're going to have to wait.

The following day I wasn't there when he awoke but I made myself find time to get up to the hospital wing to wish him well and present him with the card. If I said I was nervous that would have been an understatement.

I walked up to his bed and realized we were completely alone. He looked so tired and worn out, I almost told him I'd come back later, but he told me not to worry and I knew if I backed out I wouldn't have gone back.

I should have backed out.

My hands were shaking but he didn't seem to notice, unless he acted as though he didn't notice. And when he opened it and it began to sing his face almost turned as red as mine. Almost.

"Err… wow, Gin, this is… this is great. Thanks…thanks so much." He smiled up at me. I almost couldn't breathe.

"No- no problem, Harry…I hope you feel better." My voice cracked and shook, but I managed.

I said a quick farewell, and practically ran from the room, but I did hear the singing from the card on my way out.

He had been calling me Gin ever since that moment in the Chamber and he'd been the only one.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Once Harry left the Hospital Wing with a clean bill of health, I knew it was time to get some answers. The dementors were suddenly much more dangerous than they had been before. It was practically a matter of life or death; nothing was ever enough to get Harry off a broom. Not a rouge bludger: he managed to regain balance and STILL caught the snitch. Not even a cursed broom (as I heard the mad Professor Quierrel from Harry first year was to blame) could throw him off: Harry managed to keep a one handed grip as he dangled from the handle.

The dementors had a strong enough effect to not only knock him out, but drop hundreds of feet to his death. This was very, very wrong. It was time to speak with Professor Lupin. This was actually one of my better ideas; he had proven himself to be a smart man, and thanks to Hermione, I also knew he was trustworthy.

I asked my friend for advice on whether I should seek some help from said teacher, and she, with some persuasive coaxing from me, divulged that Harry had in fact already chatted with Lupin regarding the same subject. Not that I would admit to anyone that I knew. it _was_ Harry's personal business after all. But I figured it was my turn for some information, so I returned to the Defense classroom after daily lessons were out.

"Um…Professor Lupin?"

He turned around, startled to see me there. "Oh, Miss. Weasley, what a pleasant surprise. What can I do for you?"

I had no idea how I was going to bring the subject up- I really didn't- it wasn't exactly light and easy conversation. But if he could help Harry, then he could help me too.

"I'm actually not sure how to start, exactly," I said.

Lupin took a seat behind his desk and gestured for me to take the one opposite him.

"Well, I've heard it's usually best to start at the beginning," he replied with a lopsided grin. "Do you per chance need assistance with your schoolwork?"

I shook my head, taking his offered seat, "It has nothing to do with school actually."

"Is there a problem at home, then? I am familiar with your family and I'll do what I can to help."

I was touched by his genuine concern. He really seemed to be interested in what I had to say and it was nice. "No, no, Professor; actually, I was wondering if I could speak with you…about Dementors."

He stared curiously as I sat hoping he wouldn't question me too much. There was a lot that I was not going to be comfortable talking about with someone I only recently met.

"Dementors aren't usually covered until fourth year, Miss. Weasley. Is there a specific reason you are in search of more information than I'm sure you already have?"

I looked down to my hands, "Don't you think it would be prudent for all Hogwarts' students to know as much as they could about a creature that is present in every day of their lives? Especially if they are supposedly protecting the school?"

Lupin's light eyes narrowed, "Supposedly? The dementors _are _in fact guarding the school-"

"Yes, I'm sure that's exactly what they were doing when they knocked Harry Potter off his broom." It was rather forward of me to imply, but it was out before I could stop it.

Lupin seemed surprised as he raised an eyebrow, "You are much more eloquent than you seem Miss. Weasley."

"Call me Ginny."

"Alright, Ginny." Lupin leaned forward on his desk and crossed his fingers, as he looked straight at me. I felt almost uneasy, until I saw the sadness in his eyes. It was heartbreaking; I didn't know the man, yet, I could tell that he was seriously troubled.

"I saw you on the train," he said. "I do remember your reaction to the dementors, and I must confess, I'm surprised it has taken you this long to come to me."

"What?"

"Many students have approached me about this subject, but it was because they felt sad, and remembered a pet running away, or a grandparent passing, in which case, I explained to them the basics of what a dementor does and request they eat some chocolate if it ever happened again. I assured them that it wouldn't happen on these grounds."

I shook my head, "But I already know the basics about a dementor."

"Precisely."

"Excuse my confusion, Professor, but how did you know I was going up to show up here?"

"Ginny, all those other students had mild experiences with the dementors on the train, they were merely distraught. So this made me positive that two specific students were bound to come to me sooner or later.

"Two…being myself and…?"

"Harry Potter."

Well that made sense, considering what Hermione had told me. Lupin didn't know that I knew however.

"But I'm sure you knew that, and you've come to hear what I told him."

I flushed, or not. "Well, I didn't know what else to do, it seemed you had shed some light for him...and I…how did you figure a connection between the both of us in the first place?"

I asked for the sake of asking; anyone with half a brain could see that Harry and I had the worst episodes.

"You both suffered reactions that were, shall we say, different in their own right- but disturbing none the less."

"Disturbing, Professor?" I asked through a lump of shame in my throat.

"No one so young should be put through such emotional strain. I have something to tell you. After witnessing what I did on the train, I immediately understood the effect on Harry, but not yours. Please excuse my curiosity; I decided to ask Dumbledore about you the moment I could. The events of last year have been kept very confidential- on a need to know basis. Some of it is still a mystery, but Dumbledore entrusted me with the truth."

I blushed, feeling embarrassed and almost betrayed. I knew that I had no right to ask to hide the truth, my actions last year were bound to have consequences. But that didn't mean I had to like the idea of strangers knowing my past.

"Don't feel bad, I pried it out of him and he relented. He decided that it would be beneficial to have me understand what happened to you. At this point only Professor McGonagall knows about the," he dropped his voice a bit, "possession."

I grimaced and looked away at the sound of the word. I didn't even know this man and he knew my deepest darkest secret. And the fact that he would even bring it up! Who did he think it was?

"I'm terribly sorry if I've upset you, Ginny," said Professor Lupin in a soft voice. "But Dumbledore believes as I do, that I could help you."

"Then why didn't you approach me earlier, when you found out? If you are adamant on helping me, then why haven't you said anything?"

He smiled, "Because this was something you needed to do on your own. Admitting you need help, even if it is just wanting information on something that is bothering you, it's the first step."

It took a minute to formulate a coherent response, "So you're going to help me get over what happened in the Chamber?"

"You really should talk to someone about it, and now, you can talk to me."

He was being so genuine- that I could tell. And deep inside I was relieved to hear all of it- that I could get help that someone would listen, someone who already knew what happened and was still willing to help me through it. But, naturally, I was terrified of doing so.

"I came here to talk about Dementors, actually. Not for help, or to talk about the Chamber. I came for information." He was making me feel weak and helpless, and I didn't like it at all.

The Professor stood with a shrug, "Well, whatever it is you think you came here for, you showed maturity and confidence, and for that, I commend you. Not many students have the courage to be straight forward like you've been. Actually, I can only think of one."

I instantly felt bad for being so stand off-ish. "Are you going to tell me how you've been helping Harry?" I asked hopefully.

He walked over and closed the classroom door and I instantly became excited. Opening the window so that fresh light washed over the room, he said, "I've been teaching Harry how to fend off dementors."

My jaw dropped wide open, "You've been teaching him how to fight them?" Now that was impressive.

"It is actually more along the lines of defending himself."

"Can you show me?" I eagerly asked.

Lupin chuckled and returned to his desk, leaning against it, "Nice try, but I'm afraid not."

"But that's not fair!"

"Harry _is _a year older-"

"Yes, and I suppose he is a _boy _too!"

"No, Ginny, don't be upset. I'm sure you have just the same amount of magical power as a third year; you are, after all, the seventh child of a pureblood family. But I don't think you need to learn this just yet."

I crossed my arms defiantly, "Oh, and Harry does?"

"Well, considering the dementors seem set on knocking him out, I'd rather teach him than watch him fall another 150 feet."

I winced, disappointed that I had let him make a fair point. "Fine. Then how are you going to help _me?"_

"Alright first things first, what did you come here to learn?"

"The only thing I know about dementors is that they feed off of people's happiness."

"Essentially, yes," he told me, "dementors manage to suck all the happiness you've ever felt out of you. That is why you feel as though you will never be happy again. As though that sadness is the only thing you will ever feel."

"So why is it so different for different people? Why are some more affected than others?"

Lupin sighed, "Some are cursed with more misfortune and heartache than others. When the dementors start taking someone's happiness, those with have been subjected to more pain and endured more darkness will be more deeply affected."

"So Harry lost consciousness because there's been so much pain in his life, it was too much for him to handle upfront?"

"Yes, not to mention he has been touched by You-Know-Who," he said carefully. I stiffened. "And that evil leaves fingerprints. The Dark Lord is the epitome of everything the dementors make you feel."

I didn't say anything. What _could _I say? He was basically saying that the dementors could feel the evil inside me.

Professor Lupin kneeled down by my chair and put a hand on my shoulder, "Ginny, sometimes dementors make you relive your worst memories, and I believe this is why you had such a hard time on the train. Did Harry tell you what he heard?"

"He…said he heard…screaming. He thought it was his mum's voice."

Lupin sighed, "It took a while, but I figured that what he heard was his mother the night she was murdered in front of him."

The weight of that piece of information was not lost to me. I couldn't believe he was telling me such personal information, but mainly I felt terrible that Harry had heard what he did. It took me a minute to realize that the tear that had dropped onto my hand was my own.

Somehow, it seemed Professor Lupin knew what I was thinking. "You are not evil," he said, "But you have experienced it. You were touched by You-Know-Who and went through an emotional trauma; whether you admit it or not, you are still sorting through all the baggage. Please tell me what you heard on the train, Ginny, I can help you through this, but you just have to help yourself first."

At the time, I didn't understand how he could even offer to help me. I felt I was a lost cause. I felt that although I could hide the darkness from someone like Bill, Tom would always be there inside my head, and how could I conceal that from my Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher?

"I can't," I whispered.

"Can't, or won't?"

I looked away, nearly crying. I hadn't gone to talk about Tom, and as great as it sounded-

"You heard him, didn't you? You heard Tom Riddle's voice? As though you were back inside the Chamber of Secrets?"

Why was he so pushy? Why couldn't he just teach me how to protect myself like he was teaching Harry?

"You don't have anything to be ashamed of," he continued when I remained silent. "No one is mad at you; I am not going to judge."

"You say that now but-"

"But what?"

I looked right into his eyes. There were old, deep scars on his face, and I briefly wondered what he had been through to get them. I did not know much about Remus Lupin, but he looked much, much older than he really was. It was that moment that I realized Lupin had his own daunting demons, and somehow he was still in one piece- somehow he seemed a good man. It was that moment I started to trust Remus Lupin. The moment I decided that perhaps he really could help me.

But there was a deeper side of me warning me not to say anything...

"My brothers and my parents…they have forgiven me….but they don't know that I-I still hear T-Tom Riddle's voice in my head." The statement the truth shall set you free had never really felt as real as it did right then. A major weight was lifted off my shoulders and a breath of fresh air settled into my chest.

Remus Lupin slowly nodded his head, no doubt assessing and swallowing the information I just told him. "Alright. I want you to come and see me after classes every once in a while, and whenever you need me. We will work this all out, and you will see that opening up helps, it really does. Keeping everything bottled up inside makes you hateful and angry; it won't lead anywhere good.

"Okay," I finally said, "I can do that."

He smiled wildly and it was infectious. "Good. You are going to be okay, you know. You don't have to do everything alone; your brothers aren't here and there is no need for that brave face."

"I just don't want to be thought of as the lost little girl."

"You aren't. You are something special, Ginny Weasley and not even Voldemort can take that away from you."

"You said his name."

"Yes, well, he _is _dead. I think that is going to be your first step, proving to Tom, as well as yourself, that you cannot be intimidated by him. Say his name."

"I can definitely do that." With a deep breath I got up to leave. "Thank you, Professor."

He smiled, "Of course."

Making my way to the door, Lupin called me once more, "Oh and Ginny?"

I turned, "Yes?"

"Just don't say the name in front of your mum, I am acquainted with her and she might have my head for encouraging you."

If only I had known that in a few years' time, not only would my family be acquainted with Remus Lupin, he'd be part of it.

I went to Lupin's office at least once a week. We had several more chats about the dementors, as did we talk about what Tom was saying in my head. Talking it through was like a way to keep Tom weak and after a while, he wasn't there at all.

Lupin believed that it was my mind who created him to voice my doubts and fears in the most real way possible, while I felt that since he had been inside me, my conscience held onto a piece of his personality. Eventually, we have to compromise and suggest that it was a little bit of both.

I also told him every detail of what happened in the Chamber before Harry arrived. This has been one of the hardest things I ever had to do but it was the most freeing as well; talking to Professor Lupin was the best thing that could've happened to me in my second year at Hogwarts.

But as things were personally looking up for me, the wizarding society was becoming frantic about Sirius Black.

"I need to tell you something very private about Harry."

"Hermione, I have to wonder, will there ever be a point when ANYONE keeps Harry's personal information….I don't know… personal?"

She rolled her eyes, "Oh come on! I need to talk to _someone _outside them two, and it has to be a girl! Ron makes me insane, and Harry makes me worry too much all the time.

"I call it the Potter Pattern."

She smiled, "Clever."

"Alright," I said with a sigh as I closed my text books, giving up on studying. I had been alone in the library while a few students finished up there evening work around me before dinner, when Hermione came and interrupted me. "Tell me."

"Not here, follow me."

She began to walk to the back of the library and I quickly grabbed my things and followed. "Where are we going?"

"Shh! Wait until we are out of ear shot from the other students."

The information really must have been good.

When we reached the last few book shelves, Hermione began to walk down one of the aisles.

"Hermione?" She turned to face me and watched me warily, "I can handle whatever it is, Hermione."

"I know you can, it's just, this is some disturbing news, and I've tried to help Harry the best I can and…. He's now more determined than ever…"

"Determined to what?"

"To catch Sirius Black."

"_Why would he do_-" Hermione clasped a hand on my mouth as I had nearly yelled.

"Be quiet! You need to listen to me. Harry might be stubborn and too bold for his age, but he's not exactly reasonless, he has revenge to gain by going after Black."

I nodded slowly, indicating that she should remove her hand. "Vengeance? But Black has been rotting in Azkaban since Harry was a year old, what could Harry possibly hold against Black personally, aside from Black threatening his life, of course."

Hermione lowered her hand slowly and her eyes lost their spark. "That's just it," she sadly said, "It's what he did before he went to Azkaban. The other day Harry met us in Hogsmeade under the Invisibility cloak, and we over heard some information about Black when we passed Professor McGonagall speaking to Madam Rosmerta from the Three Broomsticks. They went inside the pub to finish their conversation and Harry sneaked in behind them and witnessed the entire conversation."

"What did they say?"

"Ginny, it turns out that Sirius Black, was James Potter's best friend."

I nearly lost my footing from the weight of the news. "What?"

Hermione had tears in her eyes, "Sirius and James we inseparable at school, and after graduation."

"Oh my, how…how could Harry's father be friends with a madman?"

"Ginny, you don't know the worst of it."

I blinked, "What else did Harry find out?"

"Sirius Black gave You-Know-Who information on the Potter's whereabouts when they were in hiding during the First Wizarding War."

"Wait, I don't understand- that means-"

"Sirius Black was the one who betrayed Harry's parents to the Dark Lord; he's the reason they are dead."

A new found hatred for a man I had never even met grew in my heart. "The bastard. No wonder Harry wants to catch him-"

"Harry wants to kill him."

My head snapped up and I stared her in the eyes. "_Kill him?_"

"Ginny, it gets worse."

My heart started pounding, "How could it possibly get worse?"

"Before Black went crazy and killed all those people, before he betrayed the Potter's…when Harry was born, James and Lily named Sirius Black, Harry's Godfather."

It definitely could get worse.

"I think I have to sit down," I said, sinking to the ground.

"I know, it's the worst thing I've ever heard."

It broke my heart. Here we all thought that the only family Harry had left were his terrible aunt and uncle….and surprise, surprise, Harry still had a Godfather.

A Godfather who was intent on ending his life.

The both of us sat in silence for a few moments, "That's all of it, isn't it?" I asked.

"What?"

"That's all you wanted to tell me? There's nothing worse, is there?"

"Could you think of anything worse?"

"No."

Sirius Black was the most horrid human being I'd ever heard of, aside from You-Know-Who.

Suddenly, Hermione stood and began looking through the books on the shelf.

"What are you doing?"

"I almost forgot, I brought you back here for a reason."

"Well, yes, to tell me this news."

"No, we could have gone anywhere else for that, but I needed to come back here for a reason."

"And that would be?"

"I'm looking for the Wizarding Encyclopedia from 1973."

"Why?"

"Well the wizarding world publishes a new encyclopedia of wizarding information each year for new spells, and new terms, events and background information. Magic is always changing, you know."

"Yes, I know that, I was born and raised in this world, Hermione. But why 1973?"

"A few weeks ago, your brother's Fred and George gave Harry a magical object called 'The Marauder's Map.' It's a magical map of the school grounds that shows where every person on the grounds is at any given moment, and their movement. That's how he was able to sneak out and meet us in Hogsmeade."

"You must be joking!"

"I'm not, it's truly incredible magic, but very wrong as well."

I rolled my eyes, only Hermione would bring down such a useful tool. "Come on, Hermione, that thing could help any one of us escape detention every time, not to mention-"

"Not to mention dangerous if it gets into the wrong hands. I've told Harry countless times to turn it in to McGonagall."

"Are you sure you're not a teacher here? You sure sound like one."

Not bothering to give me a look as she continued on her still inexplicable search, she said, "I'll take that as a compliment."

"So then why are you looking for this encyclopedia?"

"How much do we know about the creators of this map? Other than that they call themselves the 'Marauders'? It took sometime but I was able to date the map to see when it was created-"

"You know how to do that?"

"I told you taking Ancient Runes this year would be helpful. Anyway the map was made 20 years ago in 1973."

"That still doesn't explain the need for an encyclopedia."

"What does the word Marauder mean Ginny?"

"Err..um…like a wanderer, a vagabond?"

"Yes. Now what if it meant something different back then? Why would a group of four students call themselves 'wanderers'?"

"Hermione, this is crazy. Who cares what they were called? They probably 'wandered' the castle together so much they made a map."

"There might be some sort of clue."

"What clue?"

"Ginny. Look," she snapped, "I want to find out who these Marauder people were, and whatever else I can about them. It's research, it's digging, and when you start research and digging it's always the best idea to start with simple origins. All the way back to the beginning. Then, I can work my way up, it's what I've always done. We want to find out about these Marauders? We need to see the definition, origin and information for _marauder_ as they saw it back in 1973."

In a silly kind of way it made sense; it was all very thorough, but it was Hermione. I didn't see how a simple definition could shed any light on this mystery. Besides, the whole Marauder thing was playing second to what was really at the front of my mind, the notorious Sirius Black.

"Ah, here it is."

"Hermione, this is a far-fetched waste of time, I'm sure you realize it."

"Shut up, Ginny," she said as she pulled out the practically ancient text and opened it. A puff of dust consumed her face, and I, still on the ground, held back a chuckle. There was no point in discussing it with her anymore, Hermione always did what she thought was the best idea. I watched as she scanned the pages looking for the right term.

What amount of madness could possibly cause a man to turn on his best friend, and make him want to drown in the blood of his own Godson? How could a man just flip a switch and have snapped so drastically? The Potters were known for their brilliance and intelligence, how could it be they never suspected their best friend to be mortally disturbed? Had they truly not noticed it?

"It should be on….this….page," said Hermione's voice in the back of my mind, "Opps!"

Suddenly, a feather light object fell on my head, slid off and landed on the floor, startling me out of my musings.

"Ginny….could you grab whatever it is the fell, it slid out from this page…." I looked up at her to find she was already consumed in her reading. My gaze drifted back to the floor where the mystery object fell; it was a photograph.

I wondered why anyone would stuff an old photograph into the pages of a stuffy old reference book. But when I picked it up and examined it, there were many more vital questions that presented themselves.

I nearly dropped the thing, wanting nothing more than to throw it as far away from me as possible and pretend I'd never seen it, but of course I couldn't, nor wouldn't do that.

The photo was taken at Hogwarts out by the lake and in it was four Gryffindor boys who looked like they were in their fourth of fifth year. But an old photograph of four friends from 1973 was not a cause for panic, but it was recognizing the boys that was utterly terrifying.

On the left was the easiest one, James Potter. I'd seen tons of photos of Harry's father, but they were usually with Lily or baby Harry, never had I seen a picture of him with his apparent best friend, according to Hermione, Sirius Black. I knew it was him, a much younger cleaner looking picture, but it was definitely him. With their arms around each others shoulders, and broad, wide grins etched upon their faces, there was no hint of the evil that would touch their lives. It made me sick.

There was another boy, shorter and chubbier with a rat-like face, that I had no inkling of a clue as to his identity. Then my eyes fell upon the last boy on the right side of Black, clutching what seemed to be a text book, and a contented smile, almost as broad as the other boys. That's when I panicked. It was the deeply haunted, troubled eyes that caught my attention.

I knew those eyes.

"Ginny?"

I jumped, "Yes?"

"What was it that fell?"

I looked up to see she was still reading. Not five seconds had passed.

"Um…"

I had to be careful about this, if I showed her, she would tell Harry, and things would get complicated, heated and it could lead to hurt. Then again, maybe Hermione would know what to do, besides, this was _exactly _the kind of clue she was looking for. I could hardly believe something like this would just fall into my lap.

Would it be like betraying her? If I didn't show it?

It's not like they don't keep plenty of secrets, and in all honesty, I needed to hear the explanation for myself.

"Nothing, just a black piece of paper someone was probably using as a book mark," I replied coolly, slipping the photo into my bag. "What did you find?" I jumped up and peered over her shoulder.

"There's a lot in here about famous historical marauders, but ultimately, it states that marauders are a band of rebellious outlaws. Like pirates."

"Troublemakers."

"Exactly."

I had heard once that James Potter was a lively young man always getting into trouble…it was one of the reasons everyone always told Harry he was just like his father.

Was it a far stretch to assume they were "The Marauders"?

Hermione snapped the book closed and pushed her bushy hair out of her eyes. "Well, that's a start."

"A start? Hermione you already knew whoever made that map was up to no good."

She looked at me and laughed, "Funny choice of words."

I was obviously missing something. , but I didn't care, I needed to get out of there.

"Dinner is about to start, let's go."

She shoved the large book back into its place on the begotten shelf and led me out of the maze that was the library.

"Actually, I'll meet you there, I have to do something," I said, feeling a dead weight from my shoulder bag.

"What-"

"Bye!" I called behind me, for I had already taken off running down the corridor and leaving Hermione baffled and clueless behind me.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"What do you know about Sirius Black?"

Professor Lupin stopped what he was doing and turned ever so slowly to face me. His eyes, as always, were sad and haunted, and there was now a questioning looking in them.

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, I've recently come into some disturbing information, and was hoping you'd know more."

"Why me?"

"Well, aside from the fact that you've never been anything but truthful and open with me," I carefully took out the old photograph from my bag that was hanging over my shoulder, and lifted it so he could see, "I've also found this."

It seemed I had surprised Lupin, for he dropped his quill and stood, "Come in and close the door behind you, please Miss. Weasley."

I did as I was told, noting the anxiety in his expression.

"Let me see that," he said as I came closer.

I handed him the photograph, completely unexpecting the reaction that followed. Professor Lupin took it from my hands softly and gently, and then slowly examined the people in the photo, as though it were a priceless artifact. It seemed that to him at least, it was in fact.

After a moment, his face dropped any hints of nerves and concern and his usually grim frown turned up just a bit, before a sole tear leaked out of his eye and fell onto the picture.

I was enthralled in the way it affected him so.

"Professor?"

He glanced up at me, startled, he must have forgotten I was there. Embarrassed, he eased back into his desk chair and sighed, "Where….where ever did you find this?"

"It was shoved inside a copy of the wizarding encyclopedia in the library, no one uses that thing these days, but Hermione and I were looking up a specific word, and we found this on that page."

A ghost of a smile emerged through the crack of his lips. "And that word, was what, might I ask?"

"Marauder."

His smile widened.

"But I'm sure you knew that already."

"_You_ know a lot of things too, Ginny, much more than any girl your age should."

"I still want to know more."

"Haven't you ever heard the saying, curiosity killed the cat?"

"Good thing I'm not a cat."

Lupin looked at me for a moment, considering. "I'll answer what I can, from what you ask. On one condition."

"Yes?"

"You don't show that picture to Harry, nor mention it to him. I only think it will upset him."

He was right, and after seeing his attachment to the photo I knew there was really only one thing to do, "I was going to ask if you wanted to keep it, actually."

He smiled again, "That would mean the world, Ginny. Thank you. What is it you want to know?"

"Those boys in the picture. The one in the glasses, that's Harry's father, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"And the one on the end, that's you?"

"Yes."

"And the boy in the middle…. That's…. that's Sirius Black."

"Yes."

I swallowed, "So it's true then? Sirius _was_ James Potter's best friend?"

"Yes he was. And so was I."

It was a troubling thought. How could someone as utterly demented as Sirius Black have had friends as good as James Potter and Remus Lupin? Lupin was good. I knew it deep down inside. I could trust him. But... how could he have been friends with such a monster?

Perhaps Hermione was right, Sirius Black had turned into one bad seed. He snapped.

"Does Harry know this? That you were his father's best friend?"

"He knows I was acquainted with his parents, yes, but not the extent of our friendship."

"Are you ever going to tell him?"

"When the time is right, I believe the truth will come out."

"The truth being that you four, you were the Marauders?"

His eyes gave me the answer Hermione had been looking for.

This was insane. Would the mysteries and the shocks and the confusion and the complications ever end? What was normal anymore? I had lost all sense of it.

"How could you have ever been friends with a man so dark? Unless…unless you are still friends with him? Have you been the one letting him in-"

"GINNY! Please. You know better than that."

I sat in my usual chair opposite him, "I don't know what to believe anymore. I feel like there are lies and secrets hiding behind every corner and the truth is something I have to search for myself! You were best friends with Sirius Black, Harry Potter' Godfather! A man hell bent on killing Harry! A man who has killed innocent people already! I want to trust you, but you must understand my hesitation."

"I do." He sighed and rubbed his tired eyes, "But believe me, Ginny, Sirius Black was not a madman when I knew him. He was a kind, mischievous boy, who was rough around the edges and grew up in a messed up family, but a man who I trusted my life with. Whoever this man is blasted on all the papers wasn't the boy in this picture."

He looked up at the ceiling, and took a deep breath. "When Harry was born, James and Lily named him godfather, and he was in love with the boy, the best god damn godfather I've ever seen. But when the first wizarding war started, Sirius changed. He started becoming paranoid…. he distanced himself from me. He became completely inseparable with our other friend, Peter Pettigrew," he said pointing at the rat-like, chubby boy in the photo. "The Potters went into hiding….and I never saw them again. The next thing I heard of my best friends, was that James and Lily were dead, that Harry had been taken away… and that Sirius had killed Peter….along with several others."

I gasped.

"All that was left of Pettigrew…was his finger. Sirius was locked up, and I was completely alone."

The pain in his eyes was as evident as ever and I started to understand why this man looked so torn apart. His story was as sad as Harry's.

"Why are you telling me all of this?"

"Isn't it what you came her for? The truth?"

"Well, yes but, I never thought that- I mean-"

"Miss. Weasley, I know what it's like to be kept in the dark. You found this picture, you want answers, and knowing my story isn't going to land you in any trouble. There's no harm in my telling you the truth, after all you've told me your personal secrets. Now we are even."

He made a great point, and for that, I was grateful to him. No one else would have trusted such a young girl with so much information.

"What do you think happened to him?"

Remus Lupin slanted his head and pressed his lips together, "His family…was dark. They….supported Voldemort's regime. I've spent twelve years trying to figure out what happened, where my best friend went wrong. The only thing I ever came up with, would be that he gave into his bloodline."

"I'm so sorry, Professor."

"Sorry for what? That I lost all my dearest friends, that one of them killed the other? That Voldemort tore apart a beautiful new family? And an old friendship? No, Ginny, don't be sorry for things that happened before you were even born, I'm sorry for burdening you with this tragedy."

"I've burdened you with mine, I guess that makes us even."

He smiled. "Still, I hope you don't think I have anything to do with Black getting into the school. I've not seen him in twelve, almost thirteen, years."

"But you knew him well once, do you have any idea how he did it?"

An eye brow was raised and I swear I could see a twinkle in his eye. "I have my theories. James, Peter, Sirius and I did get up to a whole lot on these grounds, we had many secrets, and they will remain secret, Miss. Weasley."

"But if you know-"

"I don't know anything, I only think I know. But it's all handled, you will sleep safe tonight, I assure you."

A whole world went on before I existed, the walls of Hogwarts had seen so much, things I couldn't even begin to dream of.

I had already become part of the chaos.

I began to stand when another thought came to me. "What will they do to him? When they catch him, I mean."

"If they catch him."

My eyes widened, and I took a deep breath, "If."

Professor Lupin's tears welled up again in a subtle manner. "I suspect he will be subjected to the Dementor's Kiss."

"What is that?" I thought he had told me everything there was to know about dementors.

"It's when a dementor feeds off someone enough to suck out their soul."

I blanched, not believing that was even possible, "Why not just kill him?"

I could see why he was so upset, we were discussing the demise of his once most loyal and trusted ally; a brother.

"Because being soulless… a Dementor's Kiss is a fate worse than death."

I never told Harry, Ron or Hermione what Remus Lupin confided in me. To this day, I wonder if it would have changed the outcome of what happened that year. However, at 12 years old I was still kept in the dark, and in truth, all the events of that year flew right over my head without my knowledge. I was told to keep a secret and that is precisely what I did. Looking back, it's easy to say that perhaps things would have turned out better, but I can't only blame myself.

Lies and secrets were all over and it all led to unfortunate circumstances. As happened each year I attended Hogwarts. But it was something I had to get used to if I wanted to sustain my sanity.

I was doing very well in all my classes, turns out, I could be almost as brainy as Hermione. My favorite class was charms; Professor Flitwick had quickly grown a liking to me as I seemed to be a natural. There was something about being able to use magic to perform the simplest tasks, there were so many uses for magic, and I was obsessed with the ability to harness and use magic whenever I could. I was eager, I was talented and I was determined to prove to my brothers that I was just as good as they were. My least favorite subject was potions. This was not only due to the fact that Professor Snape was most probably the worst human being I'd ever met, but because there was little wand waving and actual magic used in potions, it was more like cooking- as helpful as it could be. Aside from that, attending classes was something I looked forward to and enjoyed doing.

"Is your brother doing any better today?" Colin Creevey asked during our Transfiguration lesson. We were practicing turning animals into goblets, and his bearded dragon was rejecting his attempts.

I paused and looked at him questioningly, "What's wrong with my brother, and which one, for that matter?"

"Ron, he came bursting into our dormitory last night screaming for his rat, Scabbers. He was pretty upset, he nearly tore our room to shreds searching for him, until Harry and Dean Thomas came in and practically dragged him out."

My jaw dropped, "You're joking?"

"He kept muttering under his breath something about Hermione Granger's 'stupid cat'," Colin shrugged, "Looks to me that he blames her cat for Scabber's disappearance."

Typical Ron. "Why am I always the last to know around here?"

"Well, it's not such a big deal, he was only in our room for a few moments-"

"I actually meant about the rat, Colin."

He flushed, "Oh."

"That was my brother's Percy's rat, he's been in the family for twelve years."

"Isn't that a little long for a rat? I mean, do they usually live that long?"

"No," I said, "That's why he's so important to our family, if Ron lost him…Percy will say it's 'preposterous'," I mimicked, raising my nose in the air and pretended to pushed up imaginary spectacles.

Colin laughed.

"Mrs. Weasley, Mr. Creevey!" called Professor McGonagall, who had appeared out of nowhere, like the stealthy cat she was, "Would you care to inform me why there is so much conversation and laughter coming from the two of you as opposed to what you should be doing?"

The class snickered.

"Go on, tell me, what is so funny?"

"Nothing, Professor," said a shamed Colin.

"Sorry, Professor," I piped in.

"Well, then, if you have found the time to tell jokes then you must have mastered the spell. Let's see it, Miss. Weasley."

Professor McGonagall was known for her lack of tolerance for funny business, but she was nowhere near as cross as Snape. Still, she was able to send the ice cold stab of intimidation into the souls of any of her students. She was a great teacher and I held her in the highest respect, being chastised by her was almost worse than being torn apart and humiliated by the Potions Master, because deep down we all knew that she was right.

Colin fidgeted beside me, because we both knew I had yet to even try the spell, I had to make it look as though I'd been practicing. She was asking me to perform a success, and that was a very tall order. Unfortunately, I didn't really have a choice.

Focusing all my concentration on the newt before me, I tapped my wand three times envisioning the scarlet newt transform into a glass. "_Feraverto._"

A stream of energy flowed through my arm and from my wand to the completely unsuspecting animal, in one fluid moment the newt grew into a blood golden water goblet. I picked it up and felt the cool metal that had just been a scaly creature. The wonder of magic dazzled me yet again.

The class was very quiet, from what I knew, I was the first to be able to cast the spell without any kinks at all.

"Very impressive, Miss. Weasley especially on your first try," she tried to hide her smirk.

I replied with a guilty smile, the woman was too cunning for her own good.

"When were you going to tell me you lost Scabbers?"

"I didn't lose Scabbers! Hermione's bloody cat got to it."

"Alright, no need to be so testy with me, I haven't done anything."

Ron crossed his arms in an immature pout, "I have every right to be testy; my rat's been eaten."

Shaking my head, I sat beside him on the couch in the Common Room. "I'm sorry, Ron." It was a crummy situation. "But, I hear you're being awfully rotten to Hermione."

"Mind your own business, Ginny."

"Oh that's nice! Why don't you just go back to pretending I don't even go here like you did last year? I'll do the same and that way I'll never have to get in your business again. Let me just say one last thing: If you keep pushing Hermione away, you are going to lose her as a friend."

I walked away after that, boiling and blazed with anger. If Ron had been dead set on making up for the previous year, he had failed. He was also failing Hermione. There was only so much more my friend would take before she gave up on Ron. I was fully aware they had their history and I knew that there were times when Ron could be the most loyal and rightfully deserving of her friendship, but those times were few and far in between,

I hadn't spoken to Ron much at all that year, it was as if my brothers were in another universe, on another plane of existence while we were under the same roof. Those early years, I was in the background and I was hiding in the dark, I rarely came to them for anything, and they rarely noticed I was a student at all.

This is why I was surprised when Ron approached me a week or so later.

"When were you going to tell me you've been having private sessions with Professor Lupin?"

My eyes widened in shock and I quickly scanned the area to see if anyone had heard him before looking up from my studies and vehemently whispered, "They're private for a reason, Ronald! Be quiet!"

Sensing the ice in my voice, he carefully sat across from my at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. "Private or not, I'm your brother and I should know these things, not hear about them second hand from my best mate."

"Hermione told you?"

"No, Harry. Apparently Lupin _casually mentioned it_ to Harry weeks ago, and Harry just happened to _casually mention it _to me just now. He figured I'd already knew!" he said raising his voice again.

"Low your voice or I'll turn you into a water goblet."

"What is Lupin teaching you?"

"He's not _teaching _me anything. I just go and talk to him from time to time about how I feel, and what I went through last year. It's not a big deal, I just don't want people around here thinking that I need help or therapy or something."

"But that's obviously what you're doing, so, you do."

"NO!" I half yelled. Padma Patil looked over from where she had been studying with Lavender Brown. Blushing, I shrunk back into myself, "Look, he's just helping me analyze what happened last year. It's personal and private okay? And I didn't tell you because it's not your business."

Ron's ears went red at the tips. Throwing his own stupid words at him was always the best way to put him in his place. He sat in silence for a few moments as I memorized the intricate details of my quill. "Has he helped you any? Professor Lupin, I mean?"

"Loads, actually."

"Good."

More awkward silence ensued.

"I….I… cleared things up with Hermione, by the way."

"You did?"

"Yes, I told her it wasn't her fault. Scabbers was pretty old…it might not even have been Crookshanks at all."

"Good."

I thought back on the whole year, thought back on the hours I spent in Lupin's office, speaking my mind and expressing my fears and anxieties. I thought about how I finally let got Tom out of my life, and I felt guilty for not telling any of my brothers of the progress I'd made. While it should have been in their own interest to check up on their sister from time to time…I could have made an effort too. I was grateful to have found an incredible friend in Hermione; somehow, after that year, I knew she'd be the sister I'd always longed for.

Looking at Ron now… I knew that he's grown some too. We both still had so much more to go, so many more tragedies to go through, but as my second year came to an end, I was satisfied with what I'd accomplished.

"Ron!" Hermione's voice broke my soliloquy. We both turned to see her rushing up to the table looking frantic and very upset. "Ron, Hagrid's just sent this for us," she told him, shoving a note into his hands.

I watched, utterly perplexed, as he read the note. His face paled, "Oh, no. We have to go see him. Now."

"What's going on?" I asked.

"One of Hagrid's pets is being executed. Tonight."

I frowned, "That's terrible."

"Where's Harry?"

Hermione shook her head, "I don't know."

"Let's go wait for him in the common room," he said, already getting up and ushering her away.

"Bye!" I called, but there was no point, they were already gone.

I sat there left behind, in the dust, in the dark, every cliché you could possibly think of. And so it began. That moment was one of the first of many in which I would be tossed aside and hidden from the truth. I sat, and I watched them run out of the room. Onto yet another adventure I would never hear about.

No. All I heard was the same thing everyone in the school heard the next morning.

_SIRIUS BLACK- CAPTURED RIGHT OUTSIDE SCHOOL GROUNDS!_

_ SIRIUS BLACK ESCAPES IN THE NIGHT FROM HOGWARTS IMPRISONMENT!_

_ ESCAPES ON THE BACK OF FUGITIVE HIPPOGRIFF, EVADING DEMENTOR'S KISS!_

They had him. And yet somehow, he'd managed to fly off in the distance. All I wanted was for him to pay. Pay for what he did to Harry, pay for what he did to Lupin. And it seemed like it would never happen.

Oddly enough, when I saw Harry the next day, where I had been expecting a disgruntled and angry frown, I found the happiest grin I'd ever seen on his face. It made no sense. But I was still too shy to ask him why.

"He got away. HE GOT AWAY! I can't believe it! How good of a criminal do you have to be to- What are you doing?" I froze mid-rant when I actually noticed what Professor Lupin was doing. I had walked in shooting words out of my mouth, and he'd been…packing.

"I'm packing my things, Miss. Weasley."

"But the term doesn't end for a few more weeks. Why are you putting everything away now?"

"Because I'm leaving."

"Early?"

"Ginny. I'm leaving Hogwarts, leaving my post."

I was confused, "Why? Dumbledore couldn't have sacked you, why would he?"

"I've not been sacked, but I do think I should go before someone sees fit to bring the issue up to the ministry of my removal from teaching students. I'd rather save Dumbledore the headache," he calmly stated as he folded up worn out robes and placed them in his trunk.

I slunk down into a desk in disbelief. "But….but…I don't understand. Why is your teaching an issue?"

Lupin stopped what he was doing and took out his wand; he pointed it at the door and it slammed shut. "Ginny," he sighed, "You've been awfully honest with me this year, and though I've tried, I've not been fully honest with you."

My throat was exceedingly dry, but, I nodded for him to continue.

"One of the reason's Dumbledore asked me to help you was because I have my own demons as well, I've lived a very dark and challenging life. He felt, that I could learn from you the same way you could learn from me."

"Learn from me? What could I have possibly taught you?"

He gifted me a sad smile, "You are one of the strongest, good willed people I've ever met. You are so talented, Ginny, and you don't let anyone, or anything get in the way of that. You're a fighter. And through your resilience, and seeing someone as young as you come to terms with darkness and come out from it I've learned to hate myself a little less, and I'm inspired to be a little more like you."

His words were beautiful. They were so genuine, I actually believed them myself. I felt tears come to my eyes when I realized he was saying goodbye.

"Why do you hate yourself, Professor?"

Closing his eyes in resignation, he spoke, "When I was very young, I was attacked by a man named Fenrir Greyback."

I gasped, I knew that name. Fenrir Greyback was an infamous… "You mean you're a-"

"I'm a werewolf, Ginny."

Suddenly it all made sense, he'd been "indisposed" for class often throughout the year, and it explained the scars on his face, and why he always looked so tired. Professor Lupin was a creature of the night.

The poor man.

"I…. I don't know what to say." I wasn't scared of him, I knew there were potions one took to help with the transformations and they only turned under the full moon. I knew I was totally safe with this man.

"You don't have to say anything, just as long as you forgive me for never telling you."

"There's nothing to forgive."

He smiled a true smile. "Now you can see why I should leave, somehow my true identity has been revealed.

There was an edge to his voice when he said that which made me think he knew exactly how the information leaked. But I didn't ask.

"I'm going to miss you, Professor."

"As I you, Ginny. You've got a long and adventurous life ahead of you, I'm sure we'll cross paths again one day."

Being bold, I took a few steps forward and hugged the man. He was startled, and I wondered how long it had been since he'd received a hug. But after a moment, he returned it gently.

"Be good," I told him, reluctantly heading for the door.

"Be good," he replied.

It was sad to leave, knowing that I'd never find solace in that room again. But as I realized it, I also realized, I didn't need it anymore. Tom was gone, and I was happy. I had forgiven myself, and only hoped that Lupin would follow suit one day.

Lost in my musings, I bumped into someone who must have been on their way to visit Professor Lupin as well.

"Oh, hello, Gin."

Straitening my stance and smiling brightly, I replied, "Hello, Harry," without a single blush.


	7. The Broken Hearted Resolve

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

**Entry 6: The Broken Hearted Resolve**

_"She's can't see the way your eyes light up when you smile,__  
><em>_She'll never notice how you stop and stare whenever she walks by,__  
><em>_And you can't see me wanting you the way you want her,_

_ but you are everything to me,_

_I just wanna show you,_

_She don't even know you,_

_She's never going to love you like I want to,_

_And you just see right through me,_

_But if you only knew me, _

_We could be a beautiful, miracle,_

_Unbelievable,_

_Instead of just invisible…"__  
><em>_Invisible- Taylor Swift_

They say your first heartbreak is the worst one, that the others that come in life aren't as painful because you know what to expect and how to get past it- just like the first time. But in my case, each time my heart was broken it was by the same person. I could have seen Harry with hundreds of girls, but it would still hurt as much as it did when I was thirteen.

Of course it wasn't Harry's fault, I never blamed him, well, I guess that sounds stupid, it was Harry's fault, but I couldn't bring myself to blame him for not feeling the same way towards me as I felt towards him. However, that wouldn't stop me from hating _her_ with all the passion in my being. And I'm not even being biased; out of all people he chose _her_, had it been Hermione, so be it, had it been, heck Susan Bones, so be it. I'd suffer of course with the same amount of torturous pain, but I wouldn't be able to hate them as much as I hated _her. _

Cho Chang was the slimiest excuse for a Ravenclaw Hogwarts had ever seen. She was the thickest most boneheaded girl that ever walked the face of the earth for all she did! With her silky coal black hair, her clear creamy skin and rather full body, that she use to her advantage of course; I couldn't stand the sight of her for the next two years.

The way I could see Harry pinning ever so furtively for her hurt, but at the beginning I didn't pay it much mind. The start of his fourth year, my third was the same as always; he spent time at the burrow with us, laughing and having fun just as it should be.

We attended the Quidditch World Cup and I was completely comfortable in his presence, it surprised me. Not that my heart didn't speed up with every step closer and each word spoken to me. But my blushes were composed and I wasn't as quiet as before.

When the Death Eaters interrupted what would have been one of the most memorable weekends in my life, it marked the beginning of a long winding road.

The sight of witches and wizards with their families, their children running through fire in the attempt to escape the hooded, masked figures haunts my mind as many other sights to come do. I was only 13, just turned, and it was the second time already my life had been threatened.

"Fred, George!" my father called, "You're in charge of Ginny; the rest of you stick together!"

Naturally my first reaction was one of annoyance because I was the one who had to be babied, but it left as soon as it came, my brothers each grabbed a hand of mine, wands out and we ran. I can hardly remember now all the blurred memories of that night. When we finally made it to the port key the twins turned to me.

"Alright there Ginny?"

"Yea," I answered looking around for the trio, "Where are-"

"No time for questions! Grab the boot!" I didn't know if it was Fred of George who spoke, nor did I really care.

"Wait but what about Harry-" without my consent someone grabbed my hand and forced me to the port key. The pull in my stomach was short until I fell face first on my sitting room floor. "What the BLOODY HELL!"

"Ginevra! Language!" my mother rushed over to us, more preoccupied with our safety than of my mouth. "Are you alright, what's happened?"

"I can't believe you too! WE couldn't have just left them!"  
>Fred looked at George, "Ginny they'll be alright I'm sure they're with Dad." "Who?" Mum urged.<p>

"Harry Ron and Hermione, These two made me take the key before they arrived!"  
>She paled. "They are still there? Where's your father? How could this have happened?"<br>"Death Eaters mum." George whispered.

"Tons of them."

"What are Death eaters?" I asked when I noticed my mother close to tears; she turned to our famous Weasley clock.

She shook her head, "There are things you shouldn't have to worry about dear," she said so quietly I could hardly hear her. I followed her gaze to the clock. Ron's hand as well as Dad's were both pointing to "Mortal Peril."

"Too young? That's a laugh, what's going on? Who were to people in the cloaks?"

George put a hand on my shoulder. "Those were the Death Eaters,"

"Followers and minions of You-Know-Who," Fred finished.

I gapped. So Tom had an army. Something he had failed to mention to me two years before. "And why were they there?"

"No idea."

Suddenly a white misted weasel sailed through the room.  
>My father's Patronus.<p>

"I have Ron and Hermione with me, Fred, George and Ginny, should already be home. Molly make sure you're in contact with Albus, Harry's missing," his voice was grave and serious; the message was quick and to the point before the bright rodent disappeared again.

And it seemed to take all the light with it. We all stood there in silence before my mother whispered, "Harry."

I paced before the fire for hours, as Fred and George drifted off on the sofa. I could hear my mother having murmured conversations in the kitchen with different people, people I had never heard of, something about a Phoenix order… but I was too worried about Harry to listen in.  
>Death Eaters? At a Quidditch Cup? Something told me they weren't the sport type. I tried to think of reasons Riddle's followers would suddenly reappear, Tom Riddle was dead. So was his memory. But even so, why was Harry missing? Of all people why was it him?<br>"Ginny," Mum sighed, blowing out air in relief.

"Mum? What is it?"

"I just heard from your father, they found him."

I almost fell to the ground, "Really?"  
>"They'll be home soon; they have some business to attend to with the ministry."<br>I nodded my head and turned to the fire. So grateful it scared me. I had felt so guilty for not waiting for them by the key, not to mention how I worried about Harry all the time. My mum didn't ignore it, "He's fine sweetheart," she assured me knowingly. "We are all alright."

On the train is where I first noticed the impending doom with Miss. Chang. I had been in a compartment with a few friends from my year, Luna Lovegood from Ravenclaw, Colin Creevey and Romilda Vane from Gryffindor. In my life there have only been two girls who have driven me rather mad with annoyance, Cho Chang being one of them and Romilda being the other. Romilda was the type who only spoke to me and sat with me to question me about none other than Harry Potter.

"Common Ginny, you have to tell me! You practically live with him! You must have seen him in some kind of undressed manner!"

Colin looked as though he was going to throw up he caught my glance and I shut my mouth that had dropped open. "Uh… Romilda…no just, no."

She scowled and pushed her curly hair behind her, "Hmm. Right, you're just saving all the details for yourself. Hardly fair Weasley."

I looked up at Colin again, he seemed just as shocked as I was. Luna was reading the Quibbler and so not paying attention to the conversation.

"Err...Ginny, do you um… do you have the assignment Professor Snape assigned over the summer?" Colin asked in a desperate attempt to change the subject.

"Yes! Yes I do!" I stood and pull down my trunk, "It's in my potions book, somewhere in here…" I pushed around my belongings trying to find the paper so that the conversation wouldn't take such a drastic turn again. There was no way I was answering that question, especially not truthfully, not after that past summer. That was when I realized I had left a few of my books in Ron's trunk because they weren't fighting with the rest of my items. I am a girl, it's typical.

"I'll be right back; I know exactly where it is."

I walked out of the compartment and made me way down to where I believed the trio were. The trolley had just stopped causing traffic and a horde of students to emerge from their seats. I saw Ron come out of the compartment the trolley had stopped at, he ordered some sweets as I tried to get his attention. "Ron!"

There were too many people to hear. I sighed and prepared to wait. That's when I saw Cho Chang coming from the other side of the trolley she was accompanied by a few other girls giggling mercilessly. Ron had disappeared back into the compartment and Harry stepped out but rather than ordering, he caught eyes with Cho. You know how the world seems to slow down when you see that person? That person, the way I saw Harry for the first time, well I could see that it was happening for Harry just then. And suddenly my world slowed down as well. I had never seen Harry look at a girl like that before.

He never looked like that at me before.

Cho smiled and took her sweets while her friends began to giggle at Harry. She walked away with them at her heels, the lot of them looking back at Harry every few steps.

"Anything sweet for you dear?" the trolley woman asked Harry who seemed just as dazed as Luna.

"Err… No. I don't think I need any more sweets." Harry disappeared again with the most amazing smile on his face.

It felt so wrong then; I had promised I would be the one to make Harry Potter smile. I walked back to my compartment forgetting the paper completely.

When we got to school it was only to get another surprise, Hogwarts was hosting the Triwizard Tournament.

Of course it _didn't_ surprise me that Harry somehow found himself in the competition, who cared if it was only for seventeen-year-olds? He was Harry Potter. Damned fate. I could see that he didn't want anything to do with competing; he just wanted a normal year for once.

I cheered him on of course, while everyone else seemed to turn their backs on him because he somehow managed to land himself as the center of attention yet again. No one ever seemed to understand that Harry did not like to be the center of attention, in fact he despised it. Even Ron was acting like a bloody git that year.

"Ron, can you get over yourself for just one moment and hear what Harry has to say?"

"What for? So I can just sit and listen to his excuses for wanting eternal glory? As if he doesn't already have enough!"  
>I gasped. "Are you even hearing yourself? How could you say that? Here you are acting like a complete git when you should be with Harry, your best mate if you've forgotten. You can't possibly believe he'd wanted this!"<br>Ron looked at me and rolled his eyes. "Please you're only defending him in the hopes that maybe he'll realize he's as smitten with you as you are with him! Ginny, after all these years, it's pathetic."  
>"Ronald!" I had never heard Hermione's voice so vicious.<br>I bit my lip wanting so much to slap him across his face but not having the energy to do so. I just stood from the couch in the common room, glad to see no one seemed to have heard.  
>"You're right Ron. It is pathetic. But not as pathetic as you turning your back on the boy-who-lived because someone put his name in the Goblet of Fire." I turned to walk up the steps but remembered something, and after a moment of hesitation I figured I was important. "Charlie is here by the way. Something about the tournament, I met with him this morning; he needs to speak with you. So if you can shut up for five minutes he's down at Hagrid's," and with that I left.<p>

Cedric Diggory, who I thought of as a nice acquaintance, being the original Hogwarts champion was presenting a problem as well. Not only was everyone on his side rather than Harry's, some romantic entanglements let themselves be known.

Someday after the first challenge, where Harry brilliantly took on a Hungarian Horntail with nothing but a broomstick, everyone was seated in the great hall for lunch. I was watching Harry, as usual, but he wasn't in his usual conversation with Ron and Hermione. My brother and my best friend seemed to be bickering again, but Harry was watching something else, or well some_one _else.

I followed his gazed ever so slightly, and of course he was gazing at none other than Cho Chang. Again.

He'd been doing that quite often lately. When her friends started giggling again, I rolled my eyes they nudged her here and there, teasing her until she turned around. She met his gazed and smiled bashfully, and what happened next made me drop my head into my hands.

The great Harry Potter must have forgotten all about the drink in his hand because when he smiled, the smile that made my knees go weak, the liquid in his mouth leaked out- all down his front. The girls laughed even harder then as Harry blushed and turned his attention back to the other two. Thankfully it seemed it was the only outsider witness, but I wouldn't tease him for that. Especially when he's so noble to look past my nerves around him.

But when I dropped my head into my hands it wasn't because one of my friends made a complete fool of himself, but because that damned girl made him so damned nervous. He was becoming giddy around her. He never seemed nervous around other girls… ok I mean me. Why couldn't it be me?

I'm the one who knew him, or well was beginning to know him better than anyone, it seemed that no else could tell when he was angry and frustrated, that was the point where you left him alone, until he pulled through. Cause he always did. When he needed someone to go up and talk to him, cheer him up. Those were my perfect opportunities he was all alone, needed someone but each time, I cowardly looked away. Gryffindor; right.

Not caring to eat anymore, seriously losing my appetite, I stood and made my way out of the great hall. When I passed Cho the conversation caught my attention and I slowed down.

"Well, If Cedric doesn't come to his senses this year then it looks like there's another champion who thinks he's worthy," said a girl by the name I knew to be Marietta Edgecombe .

"The great Harry Potter making a fool for our very own Cho," someone else laughed.

"I don't think you would mind Cho, would you? Potter seems like a respectable second place."

Cho laughed, "Maybe…"

But I just stomped away, using all my will power to not take my wand out on the spot, back then, my Bat Boogey Hex was getting better by the day and I was itching to try it out one someone. I should have done it. However looking back maybe it was for the best, I may had ended up in detention and missed the last two challenges of the tournament.

Harry Potter was no sloppy second.

Merlin did I hate that girl.

She was giving Malfoy a run for his galleons.

"Hey Ginny."  
>"Hey Ron," I replied irritated but unwilling to let him know what I had just heard.<br>"Listen about what I said a few weeks ago…I'm sorry."  
>"For what?" I shrugged. "You were right, I am pathetic." He stopped walking and I follow suit sighing and turning around. "Look you don't have to say anything ok? I'm just glad you fixed things up with Harry."<br>"Ginny? You're my sister, and I love you, you know that?"  
>"Of course I do."<br>"Then you should know that I was being a git and didn't mean what I said. You're not pathetic. I know you really like Harry-"  
>I raised my hand. "Ron, don't even bring it up ok? It's weird."<br>His ears turned red and I almost laughed. "It is isn't it?"  
>"Definitely. I love you too Ron."<p>

*****

The year grew on as I watched my one heart's desire fall for this girl who wasn't worthy if she thought of him as a sloppy second. It was maddening, but I just couldn't bring myself to tell anyone, not when he looked so happy around her.

I cried a few times, not much but a few tears would escape at night, much to my distaste. The only person I would confide in was Hermione, but I still wasn't sure how to tell her what I heard, would she believe me? Of course she would. So I just stayed close to her that year, just in case I had melt down she'd be the one there.

When notice went up that there was a Yule Ball to be held the 25 of December the school positively buzzed with excitement. My first reaction was utter disappointment.

Since I was only a third year the only way I could attend was if someone in their fourth year or higher invited me to go with them. There was only one person I could think of that would fit the bill. Well only one person who I wanted to go with anyway. So I let myself hope. I let myself hope with every fiber in my being that Harry would ask me.

I didn't even envy all the Beauxbatons girls who had every guy's attention on them. I didn't care about any other guy, just Harry.

But he seemed to be having as much trouble finding a date as I was hoping he'd ask me.

The Yule ball was coming closer and I wanted to attend so badly I was driving myself mad. Hermione took notice.

She told me Neville had asked her, but she had to recline.

"Neville? Really? He got the courage to ask you?" I asked in disbelief.

"Well of course he just wanted to go with a friend, you know, take some of the pressure off, but he barely got the words out!" she smiled, "I had to turn him down though."

My eyes widened, "You _had_ to? You're not telling me you already have a date?"

She blushed and looked away; we were seated on my bed in the third year dormitory.

"Hermione Granger! Are you saying that my brother finally did something right?"

The small blush grew bigger but her face fell, "No, Ginny, no not Ron."

"Oh." I felt so guilty. "I'm sorry, then…um… who is it?"

"Victor Krum."

My jaw dropped. "No, way! Hermione I am so happy for you!"

"And you Ginny? Don't you have a date yet? The ball is in two days."

I looked down at my sheets, "No, I don't. No one has asked me."

"No one? Or just not Harry?"

I bit my lip, not wanting to answer.

"Ginny, if you don't say yes to someone you won't be able to go."

I remember that next day Neville asked me, and I said yes. He was my friend and I wanted to go so there was no reason I should've reclined.

Later that evening I was on my way back to the common room with Lavender Brown and a few others when we saw Ron's attempt at asking Fleur Delacour to the Ball, it was rather a peculiar sight. He was literally green and she seemed frightened. A crowd was starting to form and I decided it was time for me to save me brother.

I grabbed one arm while commanding Lavender to take the other, he was shaking badly, and the entire way up to the tower I was consoling him as a younger sister should. Yes he was an idiot but Fleur didn't have to stick her nose up so much.

"Ron?" said Harry's voice from inside the common room. "What's wrong?"

"Why did I do it?" Ron whispered, looking at his hands as Lavender and I set him in his favorite arm chair.

"Do what?"

"He-err-just asked Fleur Delacour to go to the ball with him." I tried not to laugh, and just patted my brother on the arm.

"You _what?_" Harry gasped.

"I don't know what made me do it! She was there talking to Diggory, they were walking, you know how I like it when she walks…" he looked up at Harry who nodded head in sympathy, I narrowed my eyes. "I just went out with it, and asked her!" Ron gulped, "She looked at me like I was a seas slug or something. Didn't even answer. Then Ginny took me away." Harry looked up at me and smiled giving me an "_Oh Merlin_" look.

The next part of this story I remember as though it happened only an hour ago.

"She's part veela," Said Harry. "You were right-her grandmother was one. It wasn't your fault, I bet you just walked past when she was turning on the old charm Diggory and got a blast of it- but she was wasting her time. He's going with Cho Chang."

Hmm… so she got her first choice then.

Ron looked up at Harry in question, "I asked her to go with me just now," He said sadly, "And she told me."

I stopped smiling.

Lavender seemed to be the only one to notice my drastic change in mood.

"This is mad," Ron began. "We're the only ones left without dates, Neville, Neville asked Hermione!"

"_What?"_ Harry's jaw dropped this time.

"I know!" Ron shook his head, "Neville told me that she told him she was going with someone else, but I reckon she just didn't want to outright tell him she didn't want to go with him…I mean who would?"

My heart almost stopped as they started to laugh.

"Don't, don't laugh-"

Hermione decided to waltz in just then. My anger was flaring when she asked, "Why weren't you all at dinner?"

"Because," I started but the boys were still laughing, "Oh shut up laughing, you two- because they both just been turned down by girls they asked to the ball!" that shut them up.

Lavender could sense things were going to get a bit uncomfortable and so she stealthily slipped out of the room.

"Thanks a bunch Ginny." My brother said sourly.

"All the good looking ones taken Ron? Don't worry I'm sure _someone_ will have you."

Ron looked up at her thoughtfully, "Neville's right, you're a girl.."

My mouth fell open and Harry grimaced. "Oh well spotted," Hermione said acidly.

"Well you can come with one of us!"

"No I can't," She snapped, "I already told you I'm going with someone else."

"No! you just said that to get rid of Neville."

"Really? Just because it's taken you three and a half years to realize I'm a girl Ron, that doesn't mean someone else hasn't spotted that out!"

"Ok, ok, so I know you're a girl, will you come now?" His eyes beamed. I shook my head, as if this couldn't get any worse.

Oh it did get worse, much, much worse.

"I'm GOING WITH SOMEONE ELSE!" and with that she stomped away leaving Harry Ron and I alone.

"She's lying." Ron said finally.

"She's not." I said softly drowning in my own self-pity.

"Who is it then?"

"I'm not telling you, it's her business."

"Right." Ron sighed. "Well, then this is getting stupid. Ginny, _you_ can go with Harry…" in that moment Harry looked up at me, and our eyes locked.

And there it was, my perfect chance, I pictured it in my mind, dancing all night with him, laughing, smiling, magical. Harry looked as though he was seriously considering the idea and opened his mouth hopefully, but that's when reality hit.

"I can't," I said blushing softly looking away. "I'm going with- Neville, he asked me when Hermione said no." I came up with a lame explanation that I can't barley remember now. I just remember feeling completely miserable and the tears were coming, I had to get out of there before they would be able to hear my heart breaking I couldn't even look at Harry.

"I… I should go." I half ran up to the dormitories hearing Ron.

"What's gotten into them two?"

What had gotten into us? If Hermione didn't kill my brother I would. Those two boys ugh! They were the most frustrating ever! The two girls that had been pining away for them for years gave them the perfect chance and it was too late. _Now _they decide to notice? _Now _they decide to do something about it.

It was too late, for Hermione and for me.

She opened her dormitory as though she was expecting me, my tears gave way and she took me into her arms, closing the door. She led me to her bed, and I pulled away, it seemed she was crying too.

"Ron is the thickest person I have ever known Hermione, don't take it personally."

"I don't honestly I don't." she wiped her eyes, "I heard what happened there."

"What?" I asked pulling my legs onto her bed.

"I hid to hear how the conversation would end. I'm sorry about Harry."

My tears felt pathetic now, "There's nothing we can do now."

"Have you ever though, maybe, that Harry wasn't the one for you? That maybe you shouldn't hold onto him so tight?"

"What? Like give up?" I asked incredulously.

Hermione smiled softly, "It's been three years Ginny."

"Eight," I corrected.

"What?"

"Never mind."

"Maybe if you just learn to relax around him, let him get to know you better. Date other boys. You want it so much but nothing's happening, you need to let it happen."

"You really are serious about this?" I said through the know in my throat clogged with tears.

"Yes, Ginny I am."

"Well then what do we do now?"

Hermione lay back in her bed, "Wallow."

"And in the morning it never happened." I lay back as well.

"Never."

"What a Christmas Eve."

"Happy Christmas to us."

It hurt worse than I could have imagined, letting go of Harry couldn't be easy, if it were then I wouldn't have been laying there crying my eyes out. He couldn't see the real me, because I didn't let him. I was scared and nervous and now I had lost my chance. He was the most amazing person I knew, gorgeous, sweet, caring and more loyal than anyone could ever be. Of course he wouldn't like me

I was just Ginny Weasley.

But I was Gin.

Why couldn't that be enough?

That Christmas, despite what Hermione said, despite what I knew I had to do, I wished it would have been Harry I danced all night with the next day. Because sometimes daydreams are better than reality.

Because at that time, reality was that I had a great time at the ball with Neville, I got my first boyfriend, who was _not_ Harry Potter at the end of that year, the darkest wizard of all time returned, out for the blood of Harry Potter, Cedric Diggory was murdered, and I was still undoubtedly heartbroken and head over heels in love with Harry Potter.

Yes day dreaming about dancing the night away in his arms was far better than reality.


	8. A Marauder's Promise

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

**Entry 7: A Marauder's Promise**

_"Wait, I'm wrong  
>Should have done better than this<br>Please, I'll be strong  
>I'm finding it hard to resist<br>So show me what I'm looking for  
>Save me, I'm lost<br>Oh lord, I've been waiting for you  
>I'll pay any cost<br>Save me from being confused_

_Don't let go_

_I've wanted this for too long_

_Mistakes become regrets,_

_I've learned to love abuse," _

_Show Me What I'm looking for-Carolina Liar_

I've seen him angry- trust me, it's not a sight you want to witness on a daily basis. I've also seen him hurt, wounded in a way that would send anyone into a right fit of pain and they wouldn't even try to hide it. But of course, he always puts on his brave face and acts as though it was but a scratch because everyone had to worry about everything but him. It was most likely do to growing up without anyone there to take care of him.

I've seen him happy, truly happy, but those moments come later. Moments where his eyes shine and he can truly breathe.

But I've also seen him at rock bottom, where he feels so alone no matter how many times we try to convince him otherwise. I've watched as he shut out the world. And Merlin help me, I will never allow that to happen again.

It started the summer before my fourth year; it was one of the scariest times of my life. The Dark Lord had returned at the end of the previous year and my family being blood traitors went into hiding. Of course at that time no one from the wizarding public believed Voldemort was alive and it seemed as though it finally happened:

The Wizarding World finally turned its back on Harry and Dumbledore.

Fools, every last one of them.

It seemed that no one could believe Harry's story. No one wanted to believe that the Triwizard Cup had been bewitched into a portkey during the third task. No one wanted to believe that when Harry had touched the cup he had been transported to the graveyard located at the home of Tom Riddle. No one wanted to believe that the recent attacks like the ambush at the Quidditch World Cup had all been signs, warnings and omens that the Death Eaters had rekindled their old fire to bring back their old leader.

No, no one wanted to believe that Harry had once again slipped from the grasps of You-Know-Who.

Everyone was content to think that Cedric Diggory fell dead on his own accord. Everyone was content to believe that the Dark Lord could never be back.

After all, ignorance is bliss, is it not?

But anyway, that was the summer I spent at 12 Grimmuald Place; the summer I discovered the Order of the Phoenix, a group of witches and wizards led by Dumbledore that fought on the light side in the first war, and worked apart from the ministry as an underground organization; the summer I met Sirius Black.

And I'd be lying if I told you it was easy. For all my life I knew Sirius Black to be a mass murderer, a dangerous, dark wizard that would forever be incarcerated in Azkaban. When I was twelve, I learned that he had also betrayed his two best friends, Lily and James Potter, to the Dark Lord; I learned that he was the one to be blamed for Harry being an orphan.

So when I was fourteen and discovered that not only had he been framed by another old friend, Peter Pettigrew, but that Harry, Ron and Hermione, had a major role in his quest for freedom, and Pettigrew's escape from the dementors and justice, I was utterly baffled.

Merlin, I remember that conversation well…

"I'm scared."

"Me too," my admission was followed by silence. "Hermione?"

"Yes?"

"How is this possible? How could this happen?"

Hermione didn't reply for a few still beats. "I...don't know."

That was a first.

It had only been a few hours since the third task and all the students had been ordered to go to bed. Harry was taken away, and Ron, Hermione and I hadn't been able to see, nor speak with him. Hermione and I, we were hiding away in her bed, as all the other Gryffindors were sitting in huddles down in the common room.

I didn't want to be around people, and I knew Hermione didn't either. Ron had left us for a while, swearing that no matter what it took he was going to get some answers. I knew it was hopeless.

I couldn't believe that Tom was back, but oddly enough, I knew he was. I could feel it. I could feel him. He was the shiver in my spine, the goose bumps at the back of my neck, the pit in my stomach. He was alive. The only question was, how?

"You really have no, tiny inkling-"

"I said, I don't know, Ginny," she replied rather curtly. I turned my face to hers, our bodies were covered by the white sheet like children pretending to be ghosts or playing hide and seek under the covers. Only, the funny part was I had never felt less like a child.

I knew the more questions I asked, the more frustrated she would become, (Hermione hated not knowing the answers to things) but I was so desperate for the truth! Any truth, that I couldn't help but ask something more.

"What does Peter Pettigrew have to do with Tom returning?"

Hermione's head snapped up, "Excuse me?"

"Peter Pettigrew. I know he is the one who was murdered by Sirius Black, one of Lupin's and Harry's parents' old friends. But I don't see why he'd be related to this in any way. He's been dead for thirteen years."

Hermione winced at the mention of Sirius Black, and was biting her lip suspiciously.

"What do you know, Hermione?"

"The better question is what do you know? Why are you bringing this up? What even gave you the idea that Pettigrew is in some way involved?"

"That's just it, isn't it? He couldn't be involved-"

Hermione waved my next sentence away, "Where did you get this idea from?"

"Harry. He was frantic...obviously and he didn't stop...screaming...when he appeared with the body and the cup... even as Dumbledore took him away. Harry mentioned something about Peter Pettigrew; no one else seemed to be paying attention to him though. They were focusing on Cedric. But Dumbledore-Dumbledore told him to calm down and to be careful of what he said."

"Wait, wait, wait!" Hermione said quickly. "How did you even hear that? We were up in the stands! They wouldn't let us anywhere near enough to hear anything but screams!"

It was my turn to hold back and bite my lip suspiciously, "It's this new spell Fred and George are working on. They are creating a new product called 'Extendable Ears' and I just used the simple charm behind their idea. It doesn't work that well, so I could only hear a few select things, but I'm _positive_ I heard the name 'Peter Pettigrew'."

"I've never heard of such a spell-"

"Hermione!" I snapped. "Please. Tell me what you know."

She struggled for a bit, but finally determination set in her eyes and she looked me dead on, "There's something we haven't told you, something Harry, Ron and I haven't told anyone... except Dumbledore."

I wasn't really surprised that they would have a secret, but I was shocked that I was going to be the first to hear a secret that absolutely no one else knew. "Figures."

"Sirius Black is innocent."

I almost laughed. _INNOCENT?_ That man killed his best friend!

But I didn't get a chance to reply.

She told me a tale about my brother, Harry and herself ending up in the Shrieking Shack, with the notorious Sirius Black, the apparent werewolf, Remus Lupin, the supposed dead, Peter Pettigrew (who until that time was pretending to be Scabbers, my brother's old rat) and the slimy Severus Snape.

Rather mixed company, I would say.

However, was in such a state of shock I _couldn't_ find anything to say. Apparently, Peter Pettigrew framed Sirius Black. He went as far as cutting off his own finger to successfully land the man in Azkaban. The truth came out in that Shrieking Shack and, unfortunately Peter Pettigrew escaped. He slipped through their fingers like a cloud of smoke.

Sirius ended up captured by the dementors that were guarding the school, and determined to rescue him, Harry and Hermione used a time turner to actually _travel in time, _to fix all they could.

Saving Sirius' life, and Hagrid's Hippogriff, Buckbeak.

"I don't think I can take anymore," I said rubbing my forehead thoroughly confused. There was this whole other adventure that I would have never known... a whole history between Harry and his godfather, Sirius, as well as Ron and Hermione, had passed without even a whisper of rumor or speculation.

I felt like an idiot, a stranger, an outcast. "Look, I know it sounds insane, but the point is, Pettigrew is out there somewhere, and Sirius is the innocent victim in this mess. Pettigrew was working for Voldemort before he betrayed Harry's parents and went into hiding as your brother's rat. If Harry mentioned something about Pettigrew, it probably means that he went back to serve the Dark Lord."

The Dark Lord. _The Dark Lord had risen..._

"I just can't..." my head was spinning; it was just too much information, too many things to think about.

"Ginny?"

"How could...how can...everything I thought was true..." I stopped and took a deep breath as I pulled the blanket off my head. I needed to collect myself. The fact that Tom was back, that he could get to me again...that he was back at all..."I just can't believe this is happening." I needed to get a grip on reality. I needed to hold my chin up and I couldn't be afraid. I couldn't let Tom get to me again, not ever.

"I can't either."

Then when I first saw Sirius Black that next summer, he wasn't at all what I was expecting. Rather than the mad man I had seen displayed all over the papers, he was a warm, handsome man with the best sense of mischief. Fred, George and I instantly grew a liking to him. Sirius and I became close that summer, seeing that everyone else seemed to have someone to talk to about the things that I was "too young" to know about, Sirius would seek me out and asked me all sorts of questions about Harry.

"The only full proof way to gage his moods is to read his eyes- he's become quite the actor over the years. But you can tell through his eyes what he really thinks or feels," I told him one evening while we sat by the fireplace as the rest of the house got ready for dinner.

"You reckon Ron and Hermione know that?" he asked in an offhandedly.

I scoffed, "Please, if they did then they wouldn't argue as much as they do."

"So that's something about Harry that only you are aware of?" there was a playful tease to his voice, as well as in his eyes. I froze.

He thought…well you know what he thought. I swallowed, and blinked. "And now you."

"And now me."

We stayed silent for a moment; I was trying desperately to conceal my blush. I should have seen that coming, I walked right into his trap.

"Well, I guess there's just something about Potters and red heads…"

"I…I no! Sirius, Harry and I… we're not…I'm seeing someone!" I stammered, blurting the last part out. The sly smirk on his face…it was so…juvenile. If I hadn't known better I would have thought Sirius thought he was still a teenager.

"Ahh…I see," he nodded, it may have been my imagination but I swear I remember a slight bit of disappointment in his voice.

I had to keep a strong exposure, staying true to what Hermione said; it would be harder if everyone still expected me to be fawning over Harry. And this was his godfather, not to mention an original Marauder, something Fred and George never failed to mention at least three times a day.

"Yeah,"

"It's just- the way you spoke about him…I figured there was something there."

I didn't take my eyes off of my hands resting on my lap; it was hard enough without having to look him in the eye.

"Tell me if I'm wrong Ginny."

I sighed; he would figure it out anyway, the moment Harry got there. I could say I was over him until I was blue in the face but apparently I couldn't help the longing in my eyes.

"Unrequited love is a simple story, not much else to say."

"Oh," was all he said as he put a hand on my shoulder. "He's young Red, and he has much more on his mind than any other teenage boy, give him time."

"I know, and I know he doesn't deserve any of this, and if given the chance I would wait for him forever, but I honestly don't think it's ever going to happen anymore."

I looked up when Sirius didn't answer; he was looking at me as though I surprised him. I shoved him a bit. "You wanted the truth, just being honest."

He laughed, "It's just, that's the exact same thing James told me about Lily in our sixth year," his grey eyes glazed over a bit, and I knew he was somewhere long ago.

I remember smiling at those words, still not sure what he meant by them, now, it seems obvious.

"Not a word about this to anyone you hear? Especially my brothers." I pulled him back out of his reverie.

"I've seen what you can do with that wand; I'd be a fool to cross you."

"Too right you are."

That was the night we got the message that Harry had been expelled from Hogwarts, but that Dumbledore was already working on his case. The house went into a right frenzy. The entire Order of the Phoenix was running about getting ready to go pick up Harry, my brother's voices were heard all around and not without at least one swear in each sentence. Hermione and my mother I remember were crying, out of fear and downright rage but that didn't stop them from bustling everyone into order and getting his room ready.

I sat in an armchair away from the noise with my resolve. If Harry wasn't going back to school, well then neither was I. And Merlin help anyone who tried to stop me.

When Harry did arrive, I caught the first glance at what was to come. There was no expression in his eyes, he was too thin, and he didn't seem too pleased with the fact that neither Ron nor Hermione had written to him that summer. Not that I was surprised, it was rude to leave him out in the cold for six weeks when he'd been a wreck.

My greeting was bright as it could be, trying to get some kind of cheer out of him, "Oh hello, Harry, it thought I heard your voice." I turned to Fred and George who were already seated around the trio, holding an extendable ear, seeming ready to listen for information on the Order again. "It's no go with the Extendable Ears, she put an Imperturbable charm on the kitchen door."

Typical Molly Weasley not letting her children now what was going on with the world.

That night we sat and caught Harry up on everything we knew, but mostly I was just looking for changes in his features, another summer, another change. Of course one that made him only more handsome.

When we reached the subject of Voldemort, things started getting ugly, Harry finding out that the Ministry thought of him as a joke didn't fair very well.

And when he went off on his rampage, I was the one who could stop him; it seemed no one else knew how. "We_ know _Harry," he had to understand that we were there for him; that the people in that room stood beside him, we weren't the enemy. No matter how hard he could try to make us think he really was all alone, I seemed to be the only one to have the nerve to make him see otherwise.

My mother interrupted shortly thereafter sending me off on a chore before dinner, I was always sent away! However this time it was worth it, because when I came out of the bathroom, I got to witness Harry's first encounter with his godfather. It had been two years since he'd seen him last and Harry's eyes practically danced; I hid in the doorway not wanting to ruin the moment, but I saw that Sirius knew I was there. When he swept Harry into a manly bone-crushing hug he met my eyes, and I smiled. He'd apparently noticed Harry's eyes.

Dinner started as usual, everyone sitting around the table, Tonks- an order member I'd grown fond of- was making faces and the only difference was we all seemed to relax more, it was always better when Harry was in sight. Still, it wasn't too much longer before the argument broke out. My mother was desperately trying to keep Harry out of the Order's business- she wanted him oblivious- while Sirius and a few others disagreed. It got rather heated, and Sirius seemed as though he was about to start steaming.

"Very well," My mother caved, her lower lip still trembling. My insides were soaring; I was about to actually hear the information I so desperately wanted to know. "Ginny-Hermione-Ron-Fred-George- I want you out of this kitchen, now." She finished.

My mouth dropped.

"We're of age!" Fred and George bellowed together.

"If Harry's allowed why can't I?" shouted Ron.

"Mum, I _want _to!" I wailed; there was no way I was going to be chewed out again.

"NO!" she shouted, "I absolutely forbid-"

"You can't stop Fred and George, they are of age," my father intervened. 

"Fine, Fred and George can stay but Ron-"

"Harry'll tell me and Hermione everything you say anyway!" he turned to Harry, "Won't you?"

"Course I will," Harry replied.

"FINE! Ginny- BED!"

Oh, I did not take that lightly.

"_YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!_"

"DON'T YOU DARE USE THAT TONE WITH ME YOUNG LADY!"

"OH RIGHT BECAUSE, IT'S ALRIGHT FOR YOU TO TELL ME THAT GIRLS MATURE FASTER THAN BOYS WHEN IT'S CONVEINIENT TO GET ME TO SHUT UP, BUT YOU GO ON AND LET THEM LOT IN ON WHAT EVER IS GOING ON, BUT NOT ME! IT'S NOT FAIR MUM!" I took a deep breath, but didn't drop my mother's glare. She pointed out of the room with such force that I had no choice but to leave as she followed me out to make sure I got to my room.

I heard a few chuckles behind me, but what I distinctly heard was Sirius' voice, "I told her she reminded me of Lily."

"Don't you even think about coming down and listening!"

"I think I have a right to know!"

"You are a fourteen year old girl; it's no business to you!"

"YEAH A FOURTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL WHO HAS SEEN MUCH MORE THAN ANY OTHER TEENAGE GIRL EVEN OLDER THAN ME!" I was so frustrated that I didn't even care that everyone in the kitchen could hear us bickering all up the stairs.

I slammed my door before she could say anything else, and went and plopped myself on my bad to await Hermione's return. I'd get her to tell me everything. I was glad that Harry got his time- his explanation whatever it was- but the injustice of the situation was ridiculous. When would they understand that I wasn't _just_ a little girl?

Harry was allowed back at Hogwarts, thankfully, but things were getting tense. There was very little talk over the last few weeks at Grimmuald place and I wasn't the only one to notice. The morning we were leaving for King's Cross Station, we said our goodbyes to Sirius; he gave me an extra squeeze and whispered in my ear,

"Take care of him, even when others can't or don't know how, I know you can."

"I promise." Whenever I thought of those words I would laugh, I had been making that promise over and over ever since I was five it seemed.

On the train Ron and Hermione left us for their Prefect duties, and so I found time to spend with Harry, and now that my nervousness around him ceased, I could really just be there for him as a friend. Unfortunately, however, the nervousness had turned into secret longing.

"Come on," I said, "If we get a move on we'll be able to save them places."

Harry quietly nodded, "Right."

I didn't say anything else, _what was I supposed to say to a mood like that_? I would have to think of something. Unfortunately, every compartment seemed to be full, save for the last one. We met Neville Longbottom at the last carriage, holding Trevor and looking a bit unsure.

"Hi, Harry. Hi, Ginny...Every where's full...I can't find a seat..."

I looked into the compartment he was standing before, Luna was the only one seated there reading the most current Quibbler Edition. Figured. Everyone was always avoiding Luna, her nickname 'Looney Lovegood' was more popular than her actually name. It truly was a shame.

Well, they were about to see how great she really was. "What are you talking about?" I asked, squeezing passed Neville, "There's room in this one, there's only Looney Lovegood in here." I usually abstained from using the name but they probably didn't even know her by her real name.

"I didn't really want to disturb..." mumbled Neville.

Harry, for his part, just seemed thoroughly confused.

"Don't be silly, she's all right," I replied opening the compartment door. "Hi, Luna. Is it okay if we take these seats?"

She looked up, smiled and nodded. "Thanks," I said. The boys were obviously uncomfortable as they settled in. It was rather funny; Luna didn't seem to think anything was out of the ordinary at all. "Had a good summer, Luna?"

"Yes," she dreamily replied. "Yes, it was quite enjoyable, you know." Without break face she turned to Harry, "_You're Harry Potter._"

I had to hide a smile, hoping that Harry's reaction wouldn't be one of spite and biting sarcasm.

"I know I am," he said.

Well so much for that.

Neville chuckled, catching Luna's attention, "And I don't know who you are."

"I'm nobody," said Neville hurriedly.

Before I made to introduced Neville, I caught eyes with Harry. In that one quick moment I could have sworn I saw his smile. But it vanished just as quickly. Maybe Harry wasn't completely hopeless.

Or maybe it was just wishful thinking. Either way, sitting there with the three of them, I knew something was coming. Something big was about to change everything.

"I'm glad you didn't get expelled Harry. My father and I knew Dumbledore wouldn't allow it, we didn't think our readers would like to find out that Harry Potter didn't finish his education. It's really important you know," Luna's dreamy voice said, and I smiled that may have been the least odd thing I had ever hear her say.

Harry leaned over to me and whispered, "Readers?" Luna had gone back to her magazine, "And she's not holding that upside own is she?"

"Yes she is. It's how she reads it, The Quibbler, the magazine her father publishes."

"Oh," he said still seeming confused..

"It's more like a tabloid, rather fun to read, you'll find yourself as the main topic pretty often."

"Wonderful," he groaned sitting back in his seat.

I let out a small quiet laugh, "You'd be surprised, the articles are far more truthful than anything _The Prophet_ could imagine writing."

He looked over at me thoughtfully for a moment, and then gazed out the window.

The rest of the train ride was an interesting one. Ron and Hermione joined us soon after Harry, Neville and I had begun swapping frog cards. Luna was extremely entertaining, and conversation flowed easily enough. It was even worth the visit from Malfoy; Harry and Hermione were getting better at putting him in his place, let me tell you that.

Thinking back on that moment, the first moment the six of us were together, I feel somewhat nostalgic. If we knew then, what we know now, maybe we would have appreciated each other more. Together, the six of us, in that one train compartment, were heading towards a destiny bigger then ourselves.

Harry started drifting away from us at school; he would only spend time with Ron, Hermione and I when it was absolutely necessary. It was like watching a ghost, only Harry was much more alive than Nearly Headless Nick, but it was hard to see him so sad.

The whispers of the students were enough to make me want to curse someone terribly. He closed himself off but acted as though nothing was different. Everyone could see it; I could see it clear as day. No one tried to do anything! Ron and Hermione paid no vigil, no attention, they ignored it and I just knew they were hoping it would just blow over.

He would still smile at Cho, he would study, he would eat, he would answer his letters to Sirius, but he was hallow. There was no feel to anything he did.

He got angry and frustrated very easily, and if I didn't know him any better I would have been frightened.

Of course I blamed most of Harry's bottled up anger at Umbridge who would always find a way to enrage the fire building inside him.

Dolores Umbridge. Well if there ever was a woman deserving a spot on my enigma list, right after Cho and Romilda, it was Dolores Umbridge. And then of course, Rita Skeeter and Bellatrix Lestrange. But we haven't gotten to them yet.

Inside her pink, puffy and bloated exterior was an evil soul. Umbridge was cruel and hideous, and at the time I only had a feeling she was working for the Death Eaters. She was appointed the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher that year, and she somehow managed to become the shortest dictator Hogwarts had ever seen.

But things started looking up again when the D.A. formed. Getting it started was an affair all on its own, but with Umbridge teaching- or well not teaching- it was the best idea Hermione ever had. Getting the people at the Hog's Head convinced that Harry would be the best teacher wasn't hard at all. There was excitement naturally, and for the first time all year everyone put all their distrust in Harry aside, and started treating him as they had before. With unconditional faith.

At the end of that first meeting I watched as Harry, Ron and Hermione walked down the street together; Harry was actually smiling. Just like he did a few minutes before when I made a joke. I had never thought I'd be able to make a joke in front of him yet I did. It felt so right.

"Hey, Ginny you want to go over and get a bite to eat at Madam Puddifoot's?"

"Um…" I looked over to the retreating backs of the trio, "would you mind if I got a rain check Michael?" I asked my boyfriend who was currently watching me with curious eyes, "I have to talk to Hermione."

"Yea, sure no problem." Michael shrugged and with a wave he marched away towards some Ravenclaws I recognized as his friends.

Michael Corner. That was…a milestone. My first boyfriend; my first kiss. He wasn't the most typical boyfriend, and as I think back I realize that was one of the reasons I dated him.

Michael was not clingy by any means.

At all.

I probably could have bluntly flirted with every guy that passed right in front of him and he wouldn't have noticed.

He was unconcerned, unbothered, and I know that sounds terrible, but he really could be a sweet guy…sometimes. I figure now, that I chose to date him because not only would it be a great distraction but he wouldn't have demanded my commitment, wouldn't have asked for my heart (that sounds like some over used soap opera cliché) and that was just as well, because I was still head over elbows for Harry.

Plus I hated Madam Puddifoot's. Still do.

I was about to go up to them and walk the rest of the way, but I stopped a few feet behind when I heard the conversation swiftly turn to me.

"They met at the Yule Ball and they got together at the end of the year." Hermione said, before getting distracted by a shop window. "Hmm… I could do with a new quill."

A new quill? She had just told my brother- and Harry- that I had a boyfriend. The whole purpose I hadn't told Ron- or Harry- was because I was afraid of the reaction, and she had blown it all up now. I ducked into the space between the two shops, the Hog's Head and the shop that Hermione had stopped to look through the window when I heard them speak again.

"Which one was Michael Corner?" Ron asked strictly.

"The dark one," said Hermione.

"I didn't like him," I heard Ron but they had turned into the shop, I quietly followed, they all seemed distracted enough to not notice me. Big surprise.

"Big surprise," Hermione startled me with her words.

"But, I thought Ginny fancied Harry!" Ron perused her as she looked through rows of quill and parchments; I hid behind the shelf opposite them.

"Ginny _used_ to Fancy Harry, but she gave up on him months ago. Not that she doesn't _like_ you, of course." She gave Harry a smile, and Harry to this point didn't seem to be listening, but at this, his head snapped up. My heart pounded to see what he had to say about this.

"So that's why she talks now? She never used to talk in front of me." I slapped my head with the palm of my hand; of course he would've thought that odd. I was hopeless!

"Exactly."

I was about to run for it, thinking that was the last of that before I saw Hermione turn to Ron once more, "Ron, this is why Ginny hasn't told you she's seeing Michael, she knew you'd take it badly. So don't harp about it for heaven's sake!"

"What d'you mean? Who's taking anything badly? I'm not going to harp on about anything…" 

They walked out of the shop, and I was ready to stay in there until they were well down the street but Hermione managed to catch my attention again, "So speaking of Ginny and Michael…what about Cho and you?" she whispered.

"What d'you mean?" he said a bit too quickly.

"Well, she just couldn't keep her eyes off you." 

And they were gone. Hermione and I were going to have a chat later. A really long and possibly loud chat.

I found it funny that in only a few days time, Umbridge made a new decree. All school organizations were utterly disbanded. Any meeting of more than three students was forbidden and any student caught in a club or team that had not been a approved by her,

would be expelled.

Coincidence? I think NOT!

Did it stop us? I think NOT!

We used the Room of Requirement. Brilliant Idea really, it was a room that could only be revealed to those who needed it most, and, boy, did we need it. Umbridge wasn't teaching, so Harry would.

We arrived to the first meeting with high hopes and nervous excitement. The room was incredible; the walls were lined with wooden bookshelves with all the spells and jinxes we could ever hope to master. The room was providing us with materials and anything we could possible need to become...an army. A force to be reckoned with. It was perfect.

"This magic stuff just keeps getting better and better," said a voice from beside me.

I had been wandering around alone, checking out the text books when I turned to find Dean Thomas, Ron and Harry's roommate inspecting the place as well. He was a muggle born, so like Harry and Hermione, magic was still relatively new to him.

"It never stops," I replied.

Dean's dark eyes sparkled, "Really? Even though you've been surrounded by it your whole life?"

"Even then." I meant what I said too. It might have been something that I grew up with but it still lit my eyes with wonder when something incredible, that defied what Muggles believed to be basic, indisputable science.

Dean was surprised to hear my answer; I didn't know him well at all, but he was what seemed to be an open book. I could tell. Or, maybe…I was just that good at reading people.

"Hey, Ginny."

"Oh, hi, Michael," I greeted my boyfriend. When I looked back to introduce him to Dean...Dean was already gone. It didn't matter, however, because we were going to start. Everyone took a seat on the cushions the room provided.

"Are you excited?" I casually asked Michael as we settled in.

He shrugged, "I just hope we are really going to be learning valuable information, and not just rallying together to complain about Professor Umbridge and discuss the possibility of You-Know-Who returning."

I rolled my eyes, "How many times do I have to tell you that it is not a _possibility_, it's true."

"Do you have any proof of that?"

"Yes."

"Other than Harry Potter's word?"

I couldn't exactly tell him that I wasn't running on just Harry's word, but the Order of the Phoenix's insight as well as my own deep seeded feelings. I just sensed him. I knew he was back. Tom was no longer in me, but he still left an impression that would never go away. So since I was not allowed to give him anything he would consider _proof,_ I just said, "No. But Harry's word is enough."

"For you."

"Michael-"

"Okay, everyone, I suppose it's time to get started.

Hermione's first order of business was to elect a leader, which confused most, as it was already unspokenably agreed that Harry was our leader. He one by a landslide.

"We also need a name," she said.

That was true. I've already mentioned our name, but at our fist meeting it was yet to be decided. Angelina Johnson, the Gryffindor Quidditch captain, suggested the Anti-Umbridge League. I liked it but...it wasn't a strong enough name.

"I've got it!" said Fred, "The Ministry of Magic Are Morons Group."

That was shot down too. "We need something that can be discussed outside this room, but won't cause much attention," added Hermione.

"I've got one," chimed Cho Chang, "The Defense Association. D.A. for short."

I had to admit that was good. But still not good enough. We needed soemthing that would forever go down in history, a name that stood for change. Something symbolic. Something...grand. We were the rebellion, and there was one person I knew who was at the head of such a rebellion. (And I swear the next words out of my mouth were not because I had a minor animosity towards Cho Chang)

"Yeah, the D.A. is good. Only let's make it stand for Dumbledore's Army because that's the Ministry's worst fear, isn't it?" (392)

The reaction was exactly what I was going for.  
>Dumbledore's Army was set into motion.<p>

Soon after tragedy struck again, this time with my father. Things had been so great, Harry had said that when everyone came back from Holiday Break we'd actually work on patronuses. He was finding himself, only to lose himself again in the worst way.

Being whisked out of your dormitory in the middle of an extremely cold night was never a good sign, especially when you take some kind of part in Harry Potter's life. McGonagall was trying to comfort me on the way to the headmaster's office, which worried me even more, but she wouldn't tell me what was wrong. Only that my father had been injured.

I almost sighed when I saw Harry in the office, he would tell me, or so I thought, "Harry-what's going on? McGonagall said you saw dad hurt…?"

Dumbledore was the one to speak, Harry just looked beside himself, fear, anger, helplessness, but mostly anger.

"Your father has been injured in the course of his work for the Order of the Phoenix," replied Dumbledore before Harry could. Not that Harry seemed to be in the right mind set to reply rationally, or even speak.

George beside me gasped quietly, Fred on my other side stopped breathing all together. I wanted more answers than was possible at the moment. What did Harry have to do with my father being hurt? Why was he the first to be informed? As much as I hated it, I knew it wasn't the time nor place to ask. I was going to have to listen for clues and grasp at anything I could understand.

But before anything happened, plans were made to get the lot of us to Grimmuald Place to meet my mother, and eventually my father.

Things just never got easier.

The moment we got to Sirius' house he pounced on us, "What's going on?" he asked extending a hand to help me up from our quick port key arrival.

Watching the struggle as Harry tried to explain, it reminded me of myself, trying to make sense of what Tom had done to me. "It was…I had a- a kind of- vision…"

"A vision?" asked a very concerned Sirius.

"I was sleeping and, well…It, I- I saw,"

Ron took a step forward and placed a hand on his shoulder, "Harry was dreaming, at least, that's what I thought it was, but it seems that somehow…it was really happening."

"How is that possible, Harry?" I asked.

He turned his eyes to me and I could tell what he was thinking, he was afraid that this was somehow his fault, that it made him some kind of evil. I knew this because it was how I felt for a while after the Chamber, and if I was really honest, I still felt it knowing at my conscience.

No matter what anyone told me…to some extent it was all my fault. _I _wrote in the diary, _I _told Tom all about, and no one could tell me otherwise. Sure I was twelve, sure I didn't know that Tom Riddle was really Voldemort and sure he did take control of me. But if there was one thing my father told me over the year, "Don't trust something that thinks for its self but you can't see where it keeps its brain."

Did I listen? No.

But Harry…he had some kind of connection with Voldemort. And although the lot of us wouldn't truly realize what that connection was for another two year, we knew that it wasn't good.

Not good at all.

But, I didn't think it was Harry's fault that Voldemort's snake attacked my father. It was Voldemort's and his alone. My father was in critical condition…on the brink of death, if Harry hadn't seen my father when he did, he wouldn't have been able to alert anyone in time. As it was my father was at St. Mungo's Hospital For Magical Maladies and Injuries fighting for survival, and if anyone thought I was just going to sit around and wait- they were dead wrong.

"We've got to go to St. Mungo's," I told them as I began standing up, "Sirius, can you lend us cloaks or anything?"

"Hang on, you can't go tearing off to St. Mungo's!" said Sirius.

"'Course we can go to St. Mungo's if we want," countered Fred, "he's our dad!"

I felt inclined to agree. How could we just sit around while my father… I couldn't even think of it! We were only met with refusals, but thankfully, when word from our mum arrived, informing us that dad was alright, we calmed down a bit.

Harry was the only one who, though obviously glad to hear that my father was okay, didn't seem altogether okay himself. He went to his room…and didn't come out.

His eyes were so dark, it seemed that Voldemort had dragged all the light out and left a broken piece of what Harry was becoming.

He didn't understand how grateful we were to him; Harry only saw what he wanted to see, he believed that we were accusing him of having something to do with it, just because he saw the attack take place. What he didn't understand was that if it weren't for him, my father would be dead and…I'd be dead. Yet that didn't stop him from blaming himself as though it was he who did all the terrible things he only witnessed.

Hermione, Ron and I were failing as friends to convince him otherwise. Over the break Harry would lock himself in a room and hide away from the rest of us, I knew he felt we were being _too_ understanding; he felt that we should all hate him he felt he didn't deserve to be around us. He had it all wrong. Again.

It was when he stopped accepting food that I finally had enough, I literally had had to drag Ron and Hermione with me to get him, Hermione had just arrived after spending Christmas with her parents and when Ron told her what had been going on even Hermione was hesitant to go up and check on him. It was getting that bad.

"Ginny, why don't we just give him some time? He's been through a lot."

"Hermione, Harry is always going through a lot, is that going to stop us from stopping him drift away lonely thinking he has no one left in the world?" I grabbed her arm and pulled her up the stairs, "He hasn't been that way since the moment he found out he was a wizard, I'm not just about to let him go back there."

That seemed to shut them up and they followed me willingly. It wasn't surprisingly hard to get to him thankfully. He was stiff, and quiet.

"So how're you feeling?" asked Hermione.

"Fine," He said.

I held back a snort.

"Oh, don't lie, Harry, Ron and Ginny say you've been hiding from everyone since you got back from 's."

"Oh they do, do they?" he looked up to my brother and I who were seated on the bed opposite him, he glared, Ron dropped his eyes to the floor, but I didn't back down to took his glare straight on. He was being unreasonable.

"Well you have!" I said, "And you won't even look at any of us!"

"It's you lot who won't look at me!" Harry growled. I almost laughed.

"Oh stop feeling all misunderstood. The others have told me what's going on." Hermione said sharply. I was glad she was actually trying.

"Yeah? All been talking about me behind my back…well I'm getting used to it."

"We wanted to talk _to you _Harry," I told him, "but as you've been hiding ever since we got back-"

"I didn't want anyone to talk to me."

"Well, that was a bit stupid of you, seeing as you don't know anyone but me who's been possessed by You-Know-Who, and can tell you how it feels." The words we out of my mouth before I could comprehend what I was doing. I didn't regret them, as time went on I couldn't think of anything I could've said that would have worked any more efficiently. I told him he was being stupid. And he was, even if he could justify it.

I won't ever forget the look he gave me, so shocked, surprised and yet not surprised that I had just said that. Ron's eyes were wide, and Hermione was biting her lip, but I didn't tear my eyes away from Harry, our locked gaze was intense and intriguing, thoughts of what happened down in the chamber passed between us.

Then he grimaced, apologetically, "I forgot."

Those two words stung with a pain I still remember today. I understood that he was dealing with more than one person's fair share of hardships…but the fact that he could forget something that for me, was the center of my universe, something that affected me so it changed me forever, something that up to that point I had though created a special bond between us, hurt more than I thought possible.

"Lucky you."

"I'm sorry," and I could see that he meant it. "So you think I'm being possessed then?"

"Well, can you remember everything you've been doing? Are there big blank periods where you don't know what you've been up to?"

"No," he said thoughtfully.

"Then You-Know-Who hasn't ever possessed you," I said surly.

His face lightened, and by the end of that conversation I could tell he finally believed it himself.

Later on I was in an empty room on one of the higher landings, away from all the ruckus of dinner downstairs, I didn't feel like eating. I don't remember the room exactly but I was sitting on some kind of chair, and looking through old photo's I found of Sirius' family. My thoughts flew around, from Harry back to Sirius' depressing past, to my boyfriend Michael.

"What did you do?" a familiar voice came from the doorway.

I looked up, "To what?"

Sirius crossed the room and sat in the chair before me, "Well a certain green eyed boy is actually seated at the dinner table with the rest of the family, and he's eating."

I looked back down to the album before me, there was one of his mother yelling and screaming at the house elf, who looked beside himself with happiness as he raced down the stairs because he had something to do. "That's great."

"It is…but I wonder…if the reason for his sudden reappearance had to do with a certain someone."

"Did you have anyone exact in mind, because if you don't I can't help you," I met his eyes, no emotion in my face, I was far too tired to play any games.

"Why aren't you eating?"

"Not hungry."

"You should eat something,"

"You're not going to start acting like my mother now are you?" I closed the album harshly, annoyed.

"Never. But it's not like you to pass up a home cooked meal, and it's not like you to enclose yourself away to stare at pictures of horrid people." His voice was soft but accusing.

"Maybe it's just that there are too many people in this god forsaken house, and I just want to find a moment to myself!" I stood angrily, annoyed with the interrogation.

"Ginny, it's alright." He stood as well, grabbing my shoulder before I could walk away. "I'm sorry I just wanted to thank you for keeping your promise."

That was when I felt my eyes filling with sudden tears, "You don't have to thank me, I just told him he was being a git and that seemed to wake him up."

"There's more to that and you know it."

"What do you want me to say Sirius? That Harry came up to me and told me all his inner darkest secrets? That we had some kind of revelation together and we now have each other to know that everything is going to be fine?" The tears were falling now, despite my best interests. "I can't tell you that, because it wouldn't be true!"

"I'm so sorry, I never meant…it's just Harry doesn't seem to be the kind of person you can get through to easily."

"Can you blame him?" my voice was horse, and that was why I never cried, it made everything so weak. "With everything he's gone through you'd think that the storm could only get better, but it only gets worse!" I cried, and Sirius pulled me into a hug, it was loving and caring and I cried into his shoulder like I had never done with anyone before.

I was just so frustrated with my never dying feelings for Harry and my father's close call, and Voldemort's ascendancy… it was just too much all of a sudden.

"I know, I know, but we have to keep strong, we have to keep our heads up, if not for our own sake, then his."

"You're right," I said sniffing. "It's just…not fair. To him, to me, to any of us."

"Life is like that," he laughed, "Hasn't anyone ever told you?"

I pulled away, wiping my eyes. "Of course, but everyone gets a break at some point, shouldn't he get one too?"

"Hem hem." Sirius and I turned our attention to the door, yes of course it was Harry, but I didn't even have the energy to blush, whatever he heard, so be it. "Uh...Sirius can I…talk with you for a minute?" he asked looking from me to his godfather with an utmost confused and bewildered expression in his eyes.

My eyes were red, so I looked away, "I was um…just going." I turned for the door avoiding their gazes before Sirius stopped me.

"Ginny."

"Yes?" I said without looking up, or turning around.

"Give it time. I'm sure it'll happen one day."

I nodded and passed Harry out of the room. But I stopped just outside in the hall to see if Harry had something to say.

"What…was all that?"

"What was all what?" Sirius' voice dripping of innocence, he would have to teach me to lie so smoothly.

"Is… is she ok?" Harry asked worriedly, it made me smile sadly.

"Yes, she's just fine."

"Then what…what was wrong?" he stammered when he was confused.

Sirius sighed, "If you never find out, then I was wrong and she was right, but you are a smart boy, you'll come to your senses sooner or later."

There was a moment of silence, "I'm so lost."

"Not for long, my dear boy. Now what is it you wanted to tell me?"

With that, I walked down the stairs thinking to myself, "Sure I'll give it time, but he's going to be wrong, nothing will ever happen between me and Harry, it was hopeless." But even that thought didn't make my feelings change one bit. That Christmas I wished so hard that it would.


	9. The Horse and the Stag

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

**Entry 8: The Horse and the Stag**

_" Don't dream too far__  
><em>_Don't lose sight of who you are__  
><em>_Don't remember that rush of joy__  
><em>_He could be that boy__  
><em>_I'm not that girl..._

_Don't wish, don't start,__  
><em>_Wishing only wounds the heart,__  
><em>_there's a girl I know,__  
><em>_he loves her so,__  
><em>_I'm not that girl," _

_I'm not that Girl- Idina Menzel_

I had always known Harry was a powerful wizard, naturally. But it wasn't until my fourth year when I saw the extent of it. I never had a doubt in my mind when I signed up to be in Dumbledore's Army, I trusted Harry, with my life at that point, and I wasn't going to be left out of something again. I dragged my current boyfriend, Michael Corner into it, but I could tell that after a few meetings he seemed excited too. Things were going magnificently, we learned more in the few weeks with Harry than we had ever learned with any other teacher, well maybe except Remus.

I could tell that Harry had found his calling. The way he beamed at anyone who showed any signs of improvement, the way his eyes gleamed when someone got something right. I'm not sure if anyone noticed, but it was the happiest he'd been in a long while. The D.A. become near and dear to everyone in it, a place where it didn't matter what house you belonged in, whether you were a pure blood, half blood or muggle born, we were all on the same side.

We were working on Patronesses.

He gave us the incantation and told us exactly what we need to do to perform one.

Harry said we needed to think of a happy memory, the happiest we had.

"So what does the animal it transforms into have to do with it?" Dean Thomas a fellow Gryffindor asked.

"Well, I believe that the animal reflects the power of your magic, like an essence, I suppose." Harry shrugged, "A full body animal is the hardest to perform."

"What does yours resemble?" I asked.

Harry turned to me, and smiled wistfully, as though there was something he knew that no one else did. "A Stag."

I heard a few quiet gasps but I was trying to contain the smile that was stretching across my face. Of course Harry Potter would have a large strong graceful one.

"My father was an animagus; he would turn into a stag; maybe that has something to do with it, maybe not."

"Can we see it?" I raised my eyebrows motioning towards his wand, "You know, as a demonstration?"

He saw right through me, I knew it but he didn't comment. "Sure."

Everyone gathered in front of Harry about a dozen feet away, I could see the Patil twins on their toes trying to see over Neville's shoulders, as for me, I remember placing myself right at the front in the center. Once everyone got into place it we waited, Harry seemed to be thinking of his happy memory, this seemed odd.

"Don't you already have your memory?" I asked. "If you've done it before…?"

His eyes flashed to my face and I could see the color rising in his cheeks, "Yes well, I like to change it up sometimes, and I kind of have something new to work with…" as he said this he ran a hand through his raven black hair, a sign that showed he was nervous, confused, embarrassed or frustrated. But I could see this time he was embarrassed and the reason being was that of his emerald eyes glancing at Cho Chang. She smiled softly, looking down to her shoes.

The girl drove me mad, had I been in her shoes, I would have beamed at the fact that Harry Potter openly said I made him happy. Of course, she didn't know him. She didn't know that it took a lot out of Harry to be happy; his mind wasn't as full as a regular person's of happy memories and thoughts. He did indeed have a lot less to work with.

I remember I scowled at her, no one noticed, other than Hermione, of course. And as though she could read my mind she nodded toward the boy next to me.

My boyfriend. Right.

"Anyway," Harry continued. "It definitely isn't the easiest spell to perform; it does take out a lot of energy so prepare your selves, and know that when faced with a real dementor, it will be much more intense."

There was a murmur that flew around at his words, I just caught the tone to be shock that he knew what it was like to fight a real dementor, but I didn't participate; I watched Harry.

As he raised his wand, with a look of determination and focus, I could tell we were all going to be blown away by this display. "Expecto Patronum," he stated clearly and sturdy. The words sounded like music out of his mouth either because I was losing it or because there was something so incredible about watching Harry use magic.

It came effortlessly to him most times, I knew that academically, he wasn't the most impressive, but just the way he moves his wand you can see there's something there…something special.

As the white light illuminated from the tip of his wand I was entranced by the beauty of it. I remember that moment so well, it was as though everything else around me had faded away and Harry was the only one there along with that lovely light. It grew larger and I could feel the wind from it playing with my hair.

When it grew large enough it transformed into the head of a noble stag, Its antlers spreading far, and coming closer. Then came the neck, the front legs, and finally the body, it came faster and stronger. Until there was a full sized stag of white light before us. The room buzzed with electricity, and the look on Harry's face so many feet behind it, he was smiling with his mouth and his eyes. It was incredible.

And just as fast as it came, it left. I was sure you could hear a pin drop in the room, everyone was shocked into silence. Harry put his wand down and looked at me, "You see?"

I smiled and bit back a laugh, "I see."

No one had spoken yet, still not believing what they had just witnessed, Harry Potter's power, plain and simple. I felt proud of him really, I knew how he needed that spell before, almost getting expelled for it just a few months prior. That's when I knew Michael and I wouldn't last. It wasn't going anywhere, and I knew I wouldn't let it go anywhere because… I was going to marry Harry Potter.

Hermione decided to speak up next, she was more composed because she had already witnessed this display, as he fought of a hundred dementor two years before. "Wow Harry; that must have been some memory."

Damn Hermione.

I had completely forgotten of the vile Cho and instantly I could feel my heart screaming at her for bringing it up. Hermione was smirking at Harry while no one else seemed to notice. Cho was blushing trying to hide her face, but not as much as Harry. I knew what his memory was of course, it was obvious. To this day I still remember that memory.

Just before Christmas Holiday, our last meeting before my brothers, Harry and I left school to spend a few weeks at the Burrow, Harry had been teaching us simple stunning charms. I was working with Luna but couldn't help noticing the way Harry stole glances at Cho every few minutes, as though he wanted to end the meeting right then and there, but he was too much a gentleman to do that. Everyone was paired off, scattered about the room, and I took a few hits just because Harry was so distracting.

I was jealous, oh boy was I jealous, I wanted him to look at _me_ that way. Even after what Hermione and I spoke about the year before it was still so hard. I put a brave face but that fact that he chose Cho… who was always crying about Cedric, ALWAYS. It was a tragedy and it pains me to think about the night he died. It was terrible, unnecessary, and just horrifying. But Harry needed someone strong to stand beside him, to fight beside him, to keep his head up. Not someone who would crack at any moment, and would need him there every moment to wipe away her tears, and if it wasn't me well… it had to be someone else. Preferably someone who didn't think of him as a runner up prize.

I somehow managed to channel all the hurt and frustration into my spell, and with a simple, "Stupefy," Luna shot up right into the air with a speed that caught everyone's attention and landed on the other side of the room. Of course she wasn't hurt the Room of Requirement made sure of that.

But everyone stopped what they were doing to see Luna.

And Harry looked over; his smile almost knocked the air out of me, "Fantastic Ginny!" Everyone gave a quick round of applause before continuing on with their partners.

When the end of the lesson came I saw Cho hanging back in a corner of the room starring at the old photo we had of the original Order of the Phoenix. I rolled my eyes; no doubt she was just fawning over the picture of her ex-love Cedric Diggory that was just next to the other picture. I made to leave the room making sure to stop by Harry who was trying to excuse himself from the Patil twins. I could tell he was trying to be polite. The twins finally took the hint looking back at Cho; they giggled and walked out of the room.

"Great class Harry, as always." I told him, I expected him to mutter a thanks and walk past me but he surprised me by smiling and resting his hand on my shoulder.

My knees almost buckled as he said, "That was incredible today Gin."

I had gotten used to him being around more so I learned how to control my blush, "Thanks, that's a lot coming from you."

He rolled his eyes a laughed once, "Ginny Weasley, always the joker."

"Anything to hear you laugh," I wanted to say, but I didn't. I was such a ninny.

"I guess I'll see you later then?" his hand came off my shoulder, and I could still feel the heat of it weighing me down.

He looked over my head and said, "Uh, yes, of course. Bye."

"Bye-" But he was already gone.

I turned around to see him walking to Cho; she smiled with tears in her eyes…again. I watched for a moment, and then seeing that there was no one else in the room, and I was intruding, I walked out as well.

Fred and George met me outside the room, and as the door sealed itself behind me they spoke.

"Well if it isn't Miss. I Have a Boyfriend So Don't Think I Still Like Harry."

"That's a rather long and complicated name, Fred."

"Complicated name for a complicated girl."

"Too right."

I tried to walk past them but they followed.

"Sometimes things-" George started again.

"Just aren't meant to be," Fred continued.

"Like and extendable ear that does not draw the attention of Hermione's bloody cat."

"Or a Nosebleed Nougat that spurts black blood."

"Or possibly, a Harry Potter and Cho Chang?" George said surprising me. I almost stopped my pace; I thought this conversation was going in a different direction.

"And a Ginny Weasley and Michael Corner?"

I didn't answer them but I knew they could sense my smile.

But when Harry had performed an outstanding patronus on that memory, I thought, then, that my brothers were wrong.

"I want to try!" Dean called from the back of the audience.

And everyone broke out into a position where they had space. Some got the heads of their patronesses, others just a blinding light… and then there were others. Hermione's Otter was flying about the room; Luna's Hare bouncing off the walls, Padma Patlil's humming bird, Ron's terrier. I was taking my time thinking of a good memory.

And when I did, of course it had to do with Harry. The look on his face when he saw Sirius, back at Grimmuald Place this past summer. I felt so happy that he had some kind of link to his family, his eyes said it all.

I pictured it clear as a bell in my mind and said, "Expecto Patronum."

It felt as though something was pulling from me, energy I guess but I saw Harry in my mind, and I could make out a figure coming out of my wand, Hermione gasped somewhere behind me. I paid no mind, it was the first time I had ever seen my animal.

My Patronus was a horse.

And suddenly my memory wasn't a memory anymore; it was a reality as Harry stood before me shaking his head in awe, grinning from ear to ear.


	10. Princess CriesALot and the Pink Frog

Princess Cries-a-lot and The Pink Frog

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Go on and hold her 'til the screaming is gone  
>Go on, believe her when she tells you nothing's wrong<br>But I'm the only one who'll walk across a fire for you  
>And I'm the only one who'll drown in my desire for you<br>It's only fear that makes you run  
>The demons that you're hiding from<br>When all your promises are gone, I'm the only one.  
>-I'm the Only One, Melissa Etheridge<p>

"Hold your form! Hold it!"

"We're holding, we're holding!"

"Weasley, you're slipping!"

"Am not!" I yelled.

"Not you, the _other_ Weasley!" replied an irate Angelina Johnson.

"Well it would be best if you specified; there's a lot of us Weasleys!"

"_Ron, hold your form!"_

"I'm trying!"

"Not hard enough, obviously, tighten your grip!"

"If I tighten anymore, my masculinity will be in jeopardy!"

And that was it: a laugh erupted from my left and I watched through my peripheral vision as Jack Sloper lost his grip on his broom and fell, catching himself at the last possible second before he could drop to his death, or well, he'd have hurt himself seriously. As it was, he was dangling in mid air with a one handed grasp on the broom stick.

I, upside down as we all were, didn't miss Angelina's groan. "Alright, everybody get right side up, and Ginny, help Sloper before he kills himself, please."

Assisting the poor helpless boy mount his broom 30 feet in the air, I just wished practice would end. That year, captaincy was awarded to Angelina Johnson, and she and the rest of the team showed great prospects for a Gryffindor win of the house cup. Fred and George were fantastic Beaters, Angelina, Alicia Spinnet and Katie Bell were an unstoppable Chasing team, Harry Potter was the star Seeker, and surprisingly enough, Ron had made the team as a fair Keeper.

Only, things took a turn for the worst.

"I don't see the point to this exercise," whined Andrew Kirke as we all began touching ground. I stayed silent because as painful as it was I thought it was a brilliant idea to practice hanging upside down from our brooms in mid-air.

"Well, Kirke," countered Angelina. Not only does it test your stamina, but with this practice you'll hopefully never fall from your broom again, no matter what the circumstance."

There were mumbles of complaints amongst the group. "But it's hardly likely that we will be upside down for an extended period of time-"

"I don't want to have an argument on this. You are practicing gripping your broom with your arms and legs because your lives _do _depend on it. The gripping is the difference between you and a successful game, and you crashing into the ground! You'll thank me when you are able to play Quidditch upside down with no arms, sideways while doing spirals around the Slytherins, and not once wavering in balance or grip, with a firm hold on the quaffle, beater bats or, in the seeker's case, the snitch.

"Plus! Dementors, or not, I will not have a repeat of Harry Potter in 1993!" Angelina had worked herself into a rant and had begun pacing before the rest of the team; it was hard not to feel as though we were being scolded. "Not to mention the advantages you will have when attempting to dodge a bludger! Did _anyone _read _Quidditch Through the Ages_? They had an entire section devoted to the Sloth Grip Roll!"

But we all knew Angelina was upset about more than Ron and Jack's inability to clench their thighs tightly enough around a broomstick- oh. Now I see why Jack found humor in that…

Anyway, when she finished her tirade ten minutes later, the team felt utterly guilty and Kirke was standing with his tail between his legs.

"Alright, I believe that is enough of that, next I want Spinnet, Bell and myself to practice the Porskoff Ploy we discovered last week. Ron you're at the posts and I want the beaters working with Ginny-"

As she was about to send us off, a thunder clapped above and faster than you can say Pumpkin Juice, a down pour began to drench us all. There was about a full 15 seconds that we all stood frozen in the rain, awaiting Angelina's reaction, all too nervous to do anything else. She seemed about ready to explode.

Closing her eyes and collecting herself, Angelina audibly sighed and said, "Well isn't this just fitting? You know what? Forget it. This practice has been a disaster anyway. Let's just call it a day everyone."

It was saddening to see Angie so defeated. She was usually the epitome of optimism, so no one said a word against her. She was just having a terrible day. There had been many of those around that time. The team started retreating to the changing room but Angelina called me out, "Everyone but Ginny. It's the perfect time for seeker practice."

Alicia and Katie gave me apologetic looks as I turned and passed them on my way to the captain. "Alright then," I replied.

"I am honestly sorry Ginny, but I don't want to lose this pitch time. The others, well they've been so bad today that making them play in the rain would be a death wish and we don't want to lose any more players because of a practice." She did have a point.

"It's alright."

"Trust me, Ginny," she continued, "You are the best new recruit replacement, but we can't miss out on practice. The seeker is the most important player, after all. Alright I'm letting the snitch go. Up in the air with you."

I mounted my broom and took off, but I didn't miss Angelina's last words, "Alicia reckons you can give Potter a run for his money. Prove it to me."

So you are probably wondering what happened. Why in the name of Dumbledore's pet phoenix was I shooting through the sky of the Hogwarts Quidditch pitch as the new seeker of the Gryffindor team, when it was well known that the spot was none other than Harry Potter's- after all, he wasn't the youngest seeker in a century for nothing. Of course I knew that, and of course Angelina knew that too; no one could hold a candle to Harry, no matter what Alicia said and this is a completely unbiased proclamation, even now, years later as I write this, I believe Harry had a great talent as a young player.

And I suppose when you get down to it, Fred and George were right good beaters as well. Yet there was Jack Sloper and Andrew Kirke replacing the twins on the team.

You see, it all started after the first match of the year before Christmas Holiday…

Several Weeks Prior

It was a great match: Gryffindors versus Slytherins, a classic. From the start, the energy was high and the stands were booming with noise. Ron had tried out at the beginning of term and was impressively given the spot of Keeper, and so thus being his first public match, he was green with nerves.

I didn't have a chance to wish him luck before the game, though I'm not sure it would have changed the course of the match what-so-ever.

Let's get something straight before I continue. Harry Potter has a temper, always did always will. You can't blame him with all he'd already been through to that point, but he had an incredible knack for restraint when time so called for it. Of course, more often than not, Harry _would _lose his temper which would result in something drastically terrible, like say blowing up his aunt into a humanized balloon, or frightening his friends away. And what happened at that match was no exception.

There were many things that Harry _was_ able to brush off, but there were many things that he struggled with. One in particular went by the name of Draco Malfoy. Let's get something else straightened out- something you must already know by now- _I_ have a temper. It is a Weasley family trait, it is hereditary and it is hardly fair to be judged upon something that you have no control over, so don't judge. When it comes to Draco Malfoy, Harry has ten times the restraint that I do, so I can't blame him for what happened at the end of the match.

Draco Malfoy bought his way onto the Slytherin team as a seeker in his second year at the school; he hadn't caught a snitch to date. But that didn't stop him from making fun of everyone else around him. I was standing and jumping and clapping and cheering along with the rest of the Gryffindors, Hermione on one side of me and Luna (who was sporting a wild Lion hat in support) on the other. The match started well enough; the bludgers were flying and the quaffle was hot, and Lee Jordan was doing a spectacular job of entertaining the crowd with his commentary.

But soon, the cheering and the commentaries were not the only sounds that flew throughout the pitch. The Slytherins had written a song. A song based on my poor brother, Ron.

_Weasley is our king,_

_Weasley is our king,_

_He always lets the Quaffle in,_

_Weasley is our king!_

"What is that?" cried Hermione.

"Seems like the snakes have decided to become lyricists," I replied sourly.

"Well, the lyrics aren't very good, are they?" Luna asked, "The pentameter is basic and redundant, and the rhymes aren't that impressive."

Luna would find a way to criticize that song rather than the singers.

"Ron! The center!" I cried, just as the Quaffle passed through his arms into the center ring.

Hermione bit her lip as I groaned in frustration, "Do you get the feeling that this isn't going to end well, or is it just me?"

I looked over at the other Gryffindors, everyone was still cheering and very much into the game, but the faces of doubt where obvious. "It's most definitely not just you."

I began to watch Harry for a bit, searching for the snitch myself. As much as I loved chasing and goal scoring, I did have an eye for seeking. An upset growl came from my end of the stadium and looking towards the score board it seemed I missed my brother's second failure to block a goal…

The game was a harsh one, and very intense, especially with that wretched song. It not only distracted and embarrassed Ron- it brought down his spirits and made him lose his confidence. In all the years that I watched my brothers play Quidditch in the back yard of the Burrow, since _I_ was rarely ever allowed to play, I had seen Ron block almost every Quaffle thrown his way. My brother was good. Unfortunately, the Slytherins were doing everything in their power to make it seem like he wasn't.

Soon, however, the fact that we were down by thirty points did not matter. "He's got it," I said with a relieved smile.

Hermione and Luna looked at me questioningly, "Who's got what?"

I pointed over to Harry whose eyes were darting and he was nonchalantly picking up speed, before he dived. "Harry's spotted the snitch. It's all over."

Hermione looked out onto the pitch, "How could you tell?"

"Harry is always calm and collected when he catches sight of the snitch; he doesn't want the other seeker to notice it's been spotted until he has a sure lock on it. So you can tell by how focused he gets, he stops watching the other players, obviously, and begins focusing in one direction. Then he dives. Isn't it obvious?"

"To you maybe…"

We both turned back to the game just as Malfoy's hand grasped at Harry's that was closing over the snitch. The crowd erupted into a stupendous cheer, and Luna's hat was roaring up a storm.

So yes, we won the match…but we lost a whole lot more.

Being up in the stands where I was with Hermione and Luna, I could only see what happened next, not hear the reason for it.

"Oh, no, what is Malfoy up to now?" asked a rhetorical Hermione.

Malfoy had walked up to the team as they were busy celebrating the win, the rest of the stadium had risen from their seats to join the team on the pitch, but Malfoy seemed to be ignoring the crowd around him. He was locked on Harry and my brothers.

"Just trying to save face, I'm sure. He's probably just crying over the fact that his song didn't affect the team as much as he hoped it would."

Hermione didn't laugh. She kept her eyes on the scene that was unfolding before us; I followed her gaze. "Oh, no," I muttered.

Harry had George by the arms and was attempting to hold him back. Angelina, Alicia and Katie on the other hand, were all three busy holding back Fred. The only thing between Malfoy and face full of Weasley fist was the pure strength of the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

"We better get down there," said Hermione as we simultaneously raced past several speculators towards the steps.

"Yeah, as much as I'd love to see Draco's face get smashed in, Umbridge will have a field day with this."

But by the time we reached the steps, it was already too late.

Malfoy turned onto Harry, then began laughing as he walked away. No less than one comment later, both Harry and George were tearing to the ferret. _"No!"_ we cried at the same time that Harry's fist made contact with Draco's stomach.

He went down with Harry and George right on top of him.

I'd never seen Harry hit anyone before; I'd never seen him so violently angry before. If I was truly honest, it was rather scary.

Hermione and I made it to the chaos that was the Gryffindor team as Madam Hooch arrived at the scene.

"Harry! STOP!" cried Angelina as she began to pull at the boys, _"GEORGE!"_

It took a curse from Hooch's wand to blast Harry off of the Slytherin, but I knew, as did the lot of Gryffindor and every other witness, that the harm was already done. I looked back to the last place I had seen the pink toad that was Dolores Umbridge. Sure enough she was still standing proudly in her professor's box, with a nasty smirk on her face.

A Quidditch life ban. That was the punishment (thanks to Educational Degree Number Twenty-Five, giving Umbridge the right to discipline as she pleased) dealt to Harry and George, as well as Fred because it was assumed that if the girls hadn't been holding him back he would have acted as well. Of course, this was true, but how evil would you have to be to punish someone who hadn't even thrown a punch?

At least that was Angelina's position on the whole debacle as we all sat by the fire in the common room a bit later. Hermione and I were sitting on either side of Harry for moral support and Fred and George were at my feet wearing the gloomiest expressions to ever come across their faces. And the cause to all this- I found out later- Malfoy had been, as usual, insulting my home, family and parents. But Harry lost it when Malfoy mentioned his mother.

I glanced to the side a bit, enough to make out Harry's profile from where I was sitting. He was looking into the fire with the natural far off look in his green orbs. I couldn't help but wonder what else was going to go wrong for him that year.

"Nicely done," said a soaking wet Angelina as I dropped the freshly caught snitch in her hand.

"Thank you," I replied with a tired smile. "What time is it?"

"A quarter to three, why?"

My heart nearly dropped to my toes, "I'm late for class!" I called behind my shoulder, for I had already started running.

Angelina caught up to me quickly, "Oh, I'm sorry, I had no idea! Why don't I walk you to class I'm sure I can explain, who do you have now? It's not Snape is it?"

"Worse, it's Umbridge."

Angelina stumbled over her feet. "I'll get Hermione to get your books while you change! And then I'll come back to dry your hair!"

You've got to love friends, don't you?

Soon enough, I was dressed and dry and sprinting into the entrance hall, and had exactly two minutes to get to the Defense Against the Dark Arts room.

"Quidditch is going to be the end of all three of you, I swear it!" said Hermione coming up beside me and matching my brisk pace. She shoved my text books into my arms and hung my bag across my shoulder.

"It's all part of the fun, Hermione."

"Fun? You call falling 150 feet to your death, being ridiculed and humiliated in front of an entire school body, and practicing at ungodly hours in a bloody storm for so long that you jeopardize running into class late with a teacher as vile as a death eater, _fun?"_

"Yes."

Yes, not only did I find it fun, but it was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Mum would have kittens, but I wanted to become a professional Quidditch Player. I loved the Harpies, see I have never been a fan of the Cannons like Ron is. The idea of an all girl team, girls who are strong in their own right and don't need boys to fight their battles or over shadow them was something I aspired to be a part of. I wanted to be fierce like the Harpies.

Going about getting there was a different story entirely. I, of course, would have to get on the Gryffindor team for starters; not only to get noticed, but for real fundamental practice and experience, a team like the Harpies didn't just take _anyone._ So when Angelina began recruiting for replacements, I was the first to approach her. And since there was no way someone as little as I was could even pass for a fair beater, seeker was exactly where I needed to be.

There were a few reasons for my choice of action. Of course there was the whole "I want to be a professional and I must start looking towards my future thing." Then there was the fact that Gryffindor needed to win the House Cup for the sole purpose now of rubbing it in not only the Slytherins' faces but Umbridge's as well. And also, there was my love for flying and my chance to prove to my brothers that I was good enough, and that they under estimated me. And lastly…Harry.

Harry was the rightful Gryffindor seeker, I would have never dreamed of taken that title away from him, but that didn't mean that everyone felt the same way I did. Especially _that_ particular year with all the animosity directed at him. Had it not been me to temporarily claim the title, someone else would have, and most likely would have made it a hassle to give the position back to Harry when the time came. I would, when the time came, give it right back to him, and by that point, having made a name for myself in Quidditch, I would gain a rightfully earned spot on the team as a chaser the following year after Angelina and Alicia graduated.

I had it all planned out. When I explained my plan to Hermione as we rushed across that castle, she had more than a few objections, "But, Ginny, Harry has been given a _life ban_ do you not know what that implies? It means he will never be able to play Quidditch at Hogwarts _ever_ again."

I rolled my eyes, "Honestly, Hermione? Who issued the punishment?"

"Umbridge."

"Right, so when she's gone so is the stupid sentence. I mean, I doubt McGonagall is going to enforce it the moment after the door hits Umbridge on the way out. By the sound of it, McGonagall is just as horrified as Fred, George and Harry are."

"Wait, wait, when Umbridge is _gone_?"

"What, you don't honestly think she's going to be sticking around forever, do you?"

"Well I don't know-"

"Not only will she want to go back to the Ministry to be with her beloved Minister, but Umbridge is the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. By the end of the year, she'll either snuff it, get sacked, lose her memory, or resign. Everyone knows it's cursed, Hermione."

Hermione seemed shocked at my boldness, "You don't honestly believe in that curse do you, Ginny?"

I shrugged, "I believe in coincidences from time to time, but you have to admit the track record is ridiculously consistent. It surpasses sheer coincidence."

We were reaching the Defense Hallway now, and I was already late one full minute. It was like walking down towards my own funeral. "And if it doesn't work? If this so-called curse _doesn't_ get rid of Umbridge?"

I gave Hermione an evil little smirk, "Then I have my ways. I'm not Fred and George's sister for nothing, you know."

She laughed that time. Just as I made it to the door, I hesitated- I was going to DIE. "One last thing, how _did_ you get so good at Quidditch?"

"I've been sneaking into the broom shed behind the Burrow since I was six to practice. I think my dad knows what I've been doing, but he's never said anything. I ride early in the mornings, even before my mum gets up. When I see her light turn on, I lock up the broom again and sneak upstairs. It's gotten me pretty far don't you think? And what's best is my brothers don't even know half of what I can do on a broom. Now, any more questions or shall I continue on to my immediate destruction?"

"You are something else, Ginny Weasley."

I smiled, "So I've been told."

Opening the door ever so quietly, I figured it would only take a miracle to not be called out. How hard was capturing a miracle anyway? But surprisingly enough, when I did enter, I was only met with the sounds of scratching quills and page turning in an otherwise silent classroom. I was awarded with nervous glances from my classmates when I slipped into the room. In fear of attracting too much attention to themselves, they only lifted their eyeballs.

As I'm sure you're wondering, Umbridge was nowhere to be seen; she was not at her typical place at her desk in the front of the class, nor was she anywhere in sight after a quick once over. So then, why did everyone seem so edgy?

I quietly claimed my usual seat beside my roommate Demelza Robbins, holding back the questions I so desperately wanted to ask. Still eager for an explanation regarding a missing teacher, I pulled out my books and materials. When I couldn't take it anymore, I turned to the girl beside me and was about to whisper when her eyes widened and gestured upward.

I scrunched my eyebrows, _what was she doing?_

More urgently now, she motioned upward with her eyes once again.

"What-"

"Hem-hem."

That sound. Those two little syllables were enough to send shivers of resentment and repulsion down your back. My blood ran cold, because in that situation, that circumstance, I knew she had all the power, so yes, I was rather….nervous. Not scared. No. _Never_ scared of Umbridge….

The pink toad was standing in the doorway of her personal office on the balcony that overlooked the class. "I was hoping you'd join us Miss. Weasley. I had just gone to send a search party or you."

Now, I, of course, didn't want to her to see how nervous she made me, so I squared my shoulders and met her gaze straight on. "Search party, Professor? It's only been three minutes."

Umbridge began to descend the steps, "Well, Miss. Weasley, considering your family history, three minutes is enough to, how shall I put this…wreck havoc? Yes. Tardiness is more than just unacceptable, it is prohibited," her voice was, as usual, dripping in sugar.

But, honestly, _prohibited_? And insinuating that my "family history" was one of only wrecking havoc? Sure my family included Fred and George, but what of it?

"I was at Quidditch practice," I replied dryly.

"Ahh, you see, your family has already influenced you. I was right to worry. You've literally taken your brothers' place. I also do hope you realize that nothing, especially Quidditch, is a legitimate excuse for tardiness."

The students were trying hard to look busy at work, but I knew that all the focus was on what Umbridge would do next.

Resisting the urge to make a sarcastic remark, I calmly nodded, "Yes, Professor, it won't happen again."

When she reached my desk, she smiled down at me. "Oh, we'll make sure of that, won't we?" she said. I wasn't sure what she meant by that, nor what she was even going to do; ever since she had entered Hogwarts and became the High Inquisitor, it seemed nothing was off limits.

"As High Inquisitor, I am in control of all punishment and discipline, I am sure you are aware of that?"

"Yes, I am aware."

"So you do realize I cannot let such tardiness go without fair judgment?"

"So what? Are you going to ban me for life from Quidditch too?"

I hadn't meant to say that out loud- honestly-but I did, and with a sarcastic tone that did not go unnoticed.

Umbridge, for her part, resembled Malfoy a bit; her dark, beady little eyes sparkled with fire. She had been looking for a fight. As adults said to never poke a sleeping hippogriff with your wand, Umbridge was not the hippogriff, she was the bloody woman with the bloody wand! I could see it in her eyes. Any excuse to get me to lose my calm and give her the perfect incentive to have me shipped off to detention, or even worse, home, was an excuse she was going to take.

But, _oh no_. I was not going to play her game. I was going to keep calm. My prior reaction was exactly what she had been fishing for.

"You, Miss. Weasley, seemed to be opposed to my choice of sentencing."

I gathered my wits about me. By that point, the students had given up feigning being hard at work and were now openly staring. I had two options spread out before me; I could either save myself the trouble by telling her the ban was just and that she was right, or... I could stand up and oppose.

In the end, I figured that Harry shouldn't have been the only person standing up to Umbridge. He needed support. "Well, now that you mention it, Professor," I said in a light tone- that could in no way be construed as insulting- to her retreating back, "I do think that was an unfair call. Yes."

She had not been expecting that response; she probably had not been expecting a response at all. We were playing a card game, she had been expecting me to fold and cower in defeat, or even hoping I would throw my cards at her so that she would have the perfect chance to reprimand me. She got neither. She got the card that had been hiding under my sleeve; (we were studying muggle pastimes and game terminology in muggle studies) I had a Royal Flush.

"Well that isn't surprising isn't it?" she said, saving face, "Considering your family's lack of manners and discipline."

_That _almost did me in- almost. But Demelza, quick on the uptake, ever so subtly stepped on my foot below the table.

"If you were there, Professor, you would have seen that Draco Malfoy-"

"Draco Malfoy was only expressing himself and his disappointment in an unfortunate loss in a healthy and un-violent manner."

"Sure if you call that healthy-"

"Enough. Another word out of you, and you _will _be banned from the team. Or, better yet, at the rate this seems to be going I will dismember the Gryffindor Quidditch team altogether," she said with a smile when she heard the various audible gasps from around the room. She turned and began walking back to the head of the classroom. "Is that clear, Miss. Weasley?"

_Obviously,_ that was a rhetorical question, for I had been ordered not to speak. But I was seeing red…and I had inherited my mother's temper, as you well know. There she was, threatening my team, insulting my family, and getting away with it, all the while defending Draco Malfoy.

So I couldn't help it.

Even as Demelza was shaking her head and mouthing a distinct warning, I couldn't help it. "Well, in all honesty, Professor, you _did_ ask for my opinion. After all, you don't want any of us telling lies."

When she turned around, the silence was like a fog- practically visible. Every person was tensed and did not even want to move an inch to pretend to be "working" again.

Harry Potter was the only other person who had ever openly defied Umbridge, or at least, gone against her and he had scares on the back of his hand to prove it. Looking back, I'm glad I had said what I did. Even as she glared at me from across the classroom, I would have done it again and again.

"That is correct, Miss. Weasley. And just to make sure that the idea is cemented into your head, I want you to write lines for me, every night for the next two weeks. My office- 6 p.m. Do. Not. Be. Late."

"I already promised that I wouldn't be again, didn't I?"

"Better make that three."

"I heard a rumor-"

"A deliciously delectable rumor,"

"A rumor so fantastic-"

"I could cry for joy."

"And what rumor would you be speaking of?" I asked.

"Well, it seems that…"

"The fourth years are all buzzing,"

"About a new hero."

I looked up from my book, "Okay, you two, out with it."

Fred gave me a wicked smirk and George winked one very blue eye. "Apparently some red head decided to give Umbridge just what she dished out."

"And it wasn't Ron."

"And it wasn't him," said George as he pointed to Fred.

"And it wasn't him," said Fred as he pointed to George.

"And especially considering not one of us is a little fourth year…"

"That leaves you."

I was seated in my typical corner spot of the common room finishing my transfiguration work before my first night of a very long sentencing. The room wasn't particularly loud, but I wouldn't say it was quiet either; thankfully no one was paying any attention to us. Of course I knew that the "rumor" had spread like wild fire, as everything at Hogwarts did, but I didn't want my brothers encouraging it like it was some circus act. It was serious and symbolized a point. I didn't even need my name attached to the story because that was not the point. I hadn't done it for attention, nor for a reputation. I mean, I had several friends at school by the time I was fourteen; I was what you could call…popular- but I wasn't getting a big head over it.

"Well I honestly have no idea what you are talking about," I replied as I began to collect my things. "Haven't you learned anything? You can't believe everything you hear."

"Oh, I see," said George.

"She's right," said Fred.

"You _can't_ believe everything you hear."

"Look at what happened to Sirius Black."

"Look at what happened to our own Harry."

I nodded, "Precisely." I had fifteen minutes to get to detention and needed to get a move on. "I'm leaving, I'll see you later."

"Where are you going?" they asked.

Just then, the portrait hole opened and Harry stepped in with a curious look. Spotting me and the twins, Harry came over to us. "Hey."

"Hey," I replied. "I was just leaving."

"No, wait. You guys might know."

"Know what?"

"I heard that some fourth year ripped Umbridge a new one. Any idea who?" I rolled my eyes and hitched my bag over my shoulder. As much as I wanted Harry to know I was willing to stand up beside him, I did _not_ "rip Umbridge a new one" whatever that meant. I merely responded with wit. Damn rumors. Now if I didn't retreat, Fred and George were going to take this prime advantage to humiliate me to a new level.

"We heard that too, didn't we Fred?"

"We sure did, and we have a hunch about it too," agreed Fred, sneaking a look at me.

"I really do have to go-"

"Why so interested Harry?"

"So, I'm just going to head out," no one was really listening to me. Not very unusual.

Harry shrugged, "Well, if there is someone else standing up to the toad, I'd like to thank them personally."

I just walked away, seriously. I was heading off to detention, I wasn't in the mood to hang around and let Fred and George hassle me. If I sneaked out without them noticing-

"Oh, Ginny!" chimed the twins.

I was going to ignore them…but in the end I figured it was better to deal with it sooner rather than later; I turned around.

"Yes?"

"You never told us where you were going?"

I knew the answer would confirm what Fred and George already knew. It wouldn't be all too painful. I only wished Harry wasn't there.

"I have detention…with Umbridge."

The twins smiled like two alley cats.

"With Umbridge?" asked Harry, "What did you do?"

The twins' smirks grew more pronounced. "Yes, dear little sister-"

"What _did _you do?"

"Well I guess, I kinda, 'ripped her a new one,'" I replied dryly.

Harry's eyes widened, "_It was you?_"

"You seem oh, so shocked, Harry."

"Well, I- I mean-"

"Look, I've had a long day and I really am going to be late, so if you three old women are done gossiping..." I didn't know why I was in such a mood. But I didn't want to hang around.

"No wait, Harry what were you saying you were going to do when you found out who this person was?"

"Yeah, something about thanking them…"

"Personally?" they finished together.

That's when I really left. I was not going to stand and take it. I had taken enough ridicule and banter earlier in the day.

But Harry caught me just outside the portrait hole. "Look, I really did just want to say thanks."

I sighed, "Your welcome. I'm sorry it's just…hasn't been my day."

"Hasn't been my day in a while either."

I instantly felt terrible, Harry had it so much worse than I did and there I was complaining to him. Hadn't I stood up to Umbridge to show Harry he wasn't fighting alone? Or did I really just do it for me?

I supposed it was a little of both.

"I have to go," I said a bit reluctantly.

Harry smiled, "Yeah, one on one time with Umbridge, you don't want to be late for that."

"No, I definitely don't."

Harry turned around, gave the password and walked back into the common room, while I watched him.

Just so you know…I _was_ late to detention…

Valentine's Day was fast approaching and there were subtle signs of it all get the castle. No one seemed even remotely concerned that the Dark Lord was alive and running amuck- no. Ignorant bliss swam about the school. And for once, it was fine with me. I needed a break from disasters. My father was home and healing, thankfully, and this was the first Valentine's that actually meant something to me. I had a boyfriend, and he was... great.

That was the year that Ron and Hermione were getting closer, and so naturally they were avoiding any evidence of the day like a fleet of dementors.

Harry on the other hand, had Cho. Since their kiss at Christmas, I wasn't really sure where they stood. I saw them walking the halls from time to time- not that I was watching or anything.

But any who, I assumed Harry would at least get summon the minor amount of courage to ask the girl on a proper date.

And I definitely wasn't thinking about how I wished it was me. No. I was listening to Hermione's advice. I was not jealous or bitter. I had a great guy and I really liked Michael.

"So," I said casually looking up from my Muggle Studies homework. "There's a Hogsmeade trip coming up." Why Michael hadn't mentioned the date yet…I still have no idea. Now, I wasn't one of those hopelessly gooey romantics. Sure I'd only ever been really interested in one guy. A guy that I'd wished for…for while, (plus that was all in the past) but I didn't demand attention all the time. I didn't expect flowers, and I didn't want to go to Madam Puddifoots's restaurant and get showered in flowers or little hearts and cupid arrows. It sounds disgusting really. But, however un clichéd I might be, I did at least expect my boyfriend to acknowledge Valentine's Day, or a Hogsmeade trip!

Something!

"Yeah," he replied looking up from his text book.

I nodded, the tiniest peaked that I wasn't getting anything else out of him. I sat back again. The winter breeze was refreshing and I loved being outside on a beautiful day after being cooped up inside for so long. I pulled my scarf tighter.

And just when I thought that nothing would catch my boyfriend's attention away from his school work, he seemed to notice my preoccupation with my scarf. "Are you cold?"

I smiled, I didn't like being smothered, which was one of the things I liked about Michael, but I wouldn't mind if he was going to offer me his arm, or his scarf or jacket-

"You should go get a sweater."

"What?"

"Yeah, I'll wait here. How about I check your work while you're gone?" Without waiting for a response, Michael took my work from me and began revising it.

The smile that had began forming disappeared, and I blew my hair out of my face in defeat. The disappointment didn't really sting with hurt, but annoyance, "Yeah, I think I'm going to do just that."

Not bothering for a response I grabbed my bag, and because I felt I should, I swooped down and pecked his cheek. I mean he was revising my essay, and Hermione was busy with her O.W.L.s which meant she was busy with Ron and Harry's as well.

I walked into school, pulling off layers as I went. So what? I had a boyfriend who didn't really act as a boyfriend?

I'm sure Valentine's Day just slipped his mind.

"Hey, Ginny!"

"Hey, Angie. How are you?"

Angelina fell into step beside me. "I'm about to be dead by the end of the day."

"Oh, really? Why?"

"I'm scheduling a practice next weekend, and I'm going around informing the team."

I stopped walking, "On a Hogsmeade weekend?"

"Yeah I-"

"On Valentine's Day?"

"We need-"

"Angelina!" I whined, "This place is already like a prison with Umbridge running around as high inquisitor! We _need_ fresh air."

She gave me an apologetic look and I knew that there was nothing I could say to change her mind. I also knew that she wasn't going to spend any more time arguing since she really had no support other than _we sucked_. So I just went on my way. It seemed I just kept taking things in stride. But it didn't matter anymore since Valentine's Day wasn't even a consideration any more. Michael was off the hook.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"You don't look okay."

"Hermione, it's just been one of those days."

She put her hand on my shoulder comfortingly, "Why don't we go down to the kitchens and get some hot cocoa?"

I slumped down into the couch in the common room, "Don't you have studying to do?"

"I'm sure, but I feel like I haven't seen you in weeks. We need some girl time."

I laughed, "Sounds good to me, let me just drop my things up in my room."

When I returned Hermione was ready to go. "Girl time, that sounds fantastic," I said, "I've just about had it with the male species."

"And just in time for Valentine's too."

"I'm not sure Valentine's Day is in the cards for me this year. Michael seems to have forgotten."

She frowned, "Oh, I'm sorry."

I shrugged, "It doesn't matter anyway; Angelina set a practice for that day any way."

"Are you kidding? Wow. I'm sure the team won't take that well." Hermione tilted her head, "But, I actually think this will be the first time Harry can be grateful he is no longer on the team."

We had begun down the stairs, "How do you figure?"

She smirked, "Well he finally asked Cho to Hogsmeade."

My stomach churned a bit but my only physical reaction was quickening my pace.

"Ginny," Hermione chuckled, trying to keep up, "What's the hurry?"

"Suddenly I need that hot chocolate a whole lot more."

The word luck, held no meaning for me in the weeks that followed. One morning I woke up to the _Daily Prophet _announcing terrible information that changed the future of all of us.

When the post arrived that morning, most of the school was already eating breakfast. I was beside Demelza and few other friends, and saw Hermione a few people down with Harry and my brother. On the other side a few ways down were Fred and George with the rest of the Quidditch team. Neville, Dean and Seamus Finnigan were across from me and my friends. Seamus was, as always, flirting with my friend Tabitha, as his best friend, Dean, was talking to me. He was a sweet guy, an artist he said. Neville was a quiet one and was currently reading the paper, but he joined in our conversation a few times; he and I were good friends ever since attending the Yule Ball together.

So basically when the news basically, I had a visual on all my closest friends and family.

The article was front page.

And the headline read:

**Mass Breakout From Azkaban**

**Ministry Fears Black is "Rallying Point" For Old Death Eaters**

Not only had an impressive amount of death Eaters just escaped from incarceration, but they were blaming Sirius. Would nightmares ever end? I longed to see the day when Sirius would be proven innocent man. But until that time, we had to deal with several notorious death eaters running about.

And the Prophet singled one out specifically.

Bellatrix Lestrange. Not only was she Sirius' cousin, one of the several reasons why it was believed that he was the one behind the breakout, but this was a woman who tortured Neville's parents.

The Great Hall was not proving to be a place of somber and worried anxiety. How could everyone just not be moved by what was happening outside the castle walls flummoxed me. But when I looked up Neville's face had become a mask of fierce determination and anger. He stood and walked out of the broom and I wished I could help somehow. I know I didn't know much about what happened to his parents. But from what I already knew and from what I was reading, it was something completely terrible. And this was the woman to blame for it. Dean was confused as to why his friend had abruptly left. I pushed the paper towards him and watch his eyes grow wider and wider.

Turning over to Harry Ron and Hermione, I could see that their reactions were a bit more horrified and shocked. After they had every right to exercise those reactions, I was feeling them myself. I watched as they began whispering fiercely amongst each other, and I wished I could hear what they were saying.

At the head table Umbridge was looking, shall I say, a bit smug. Not a comforting thing at all.

If that's wasn't a clear indication that the Dark Lord had returned, then I don't know what other kind of proof the Wizarding World needed.

"This is bad isn't it?"

"Most definitely. Dean…you do realize this is all the Dark Lords doing, don't you?"

He nodded, "I believe Harry. I believe Dumbledore. You-Know-Who is back, and Sirius Black is probably helping him recruit his old followers."

I nearly choked on my pumpkin juice. "Err- well-"

"And Bellatrix Lestrange- I wasn't raised in the Wizarding World so I don't know much about past wizards and witches- but even though I don't know much about her, I have heard a few things that would horrify anyone."

I also didn't know much of Bellatrix Lestrange, however, I would, in time, have my fair share of meetings with the miserable woman.

I just hated seeing Sirius portrayed in such bad light; if only everyone would know him how I did, or how amazing the man truly was. It was hardly fair.

Losing my appetite, I bid farewell to Dean and walked out of the Great Hall hoping to find a few moments of mental peace before I had to go to class.

And also, in hopes of keeping my breakfast down.

Before we knew it, Valentine's Day was upon us and the mood was tarnished- more for some than for others. Umbridge was making it a point to squash any reminders of the day. Paper hearts strung up by the house elves? Disintegrated. Any cupids charmed by the Hufflepuffs? Shot down.

And then there was the "No Signs of Affection" debacle that was driving everyone nuts. Sure it's acceptable to establish a rule making it illegal to completely plunder each other's mouths in the hallway between classes but if Umbridge saw any handholding as well, you'd be blasted on either side of the hall.

All in all, everyone was itching to go to Hogsmeade; she couldn't do anything to us there. Not to mention the day was absolutely perfect, just cool enough to enjoy a nice warm pumpkin cider at the three broomsticks –

"Okay, everyone, right side up!"

That's right- I wasn't allowed to enjoy the freedom of Hogsmeade I was at practice.

"So, Ginny, what do you and the boyfriend have planned for today?"

I stretched out my arm as I answered, "Nothing."

"What do you mean nothing, it's _Valentine's Day_."

"Well he's just not a fan of the day."

"Oh. Well you should at least spend the day together, where is he now? Watching practice?"

"He's at Hogsmeade with some friends."

"Without you?"

"Yeah."

She was silent and I pretended that I was oblivious to all that was wrong with the situation. Besides, Michael could do what he wanted, I wasn't his keeper.

Ron was in the air and was continuously getting hit by the Quaffle in ways that looked most painful.

"Well...at least he is stopping them," I told Katie.

Katie didn't respond but she gave me a dubious look. I spoke too soon, Ron got hit by the bludger that he should've dodged and let two scores in.

"I just think you deserve better than that."

"He's my boyfriend."

"So you like it because he's your boyfriend? He's not your boyfriend because you like him?"

"Is there a difference?"

"A big one."

Although I should have, I didn't think much about what she said. I was searching for the snitch actually thinking about why Dean Thomas was sitting in the stands watching us, when he should've been at Hogsmeade with everyone else. I got his eyes and he smiled, and I found myself smiling back to.

"Ginny, watch out!" Is all I heard, before a hard bludger knocked into my shoulder. I almost fell but managed to regain my balance at the very last second.

"Are you okay?"

"Didn't you see that coming?"

"Sloper! I didn't tell you to knock one at her! I meant the other Weasley!"

My arm and shoulder were sore, but okay, I was shaking it off as people swarmed about me. Jeez... I wasn't some China doll. I looked back to see Dean's expression, I suddenly felt embarrassed and then confused as to why I should feel embarrassed because of Dean.

I saw him standing up trying to get an angle and what it happened. Only when I waved a casual hand, did he seem to compensate again

it was nice to know someone cared. What was Michael? Having fun without me on Valentine's Day. Perhaps Katie had a point.

As I began to think into it, I was quickly distracted by the sight of Cho Chang running up the steps to the main entrance of the castle grounds. Even though I was far away and high in the air, it wasn't hard to see that she was crying.

Cho Chang shouldn't have been crying if she was on a date with Harry Potter.

And then again… It was Cho Chang the human hose pipe.

But I didn't see Harry anywhere. Had she just up and left him?

Was he hurt? Is that what she was crying? Something terrible had happened and she was running for help?

That didn't make any sense. Hogsmeade was flooded with people that could help. So many possibilities flashed in my head even after Cho passed my line of vision.

I was going to tell someone but practice was already going so terribly… Again. I let everything faster in my mind until I began to go crazy. I nearly touched ground a few times to run off and see what was going on.

"Sloper! Kirke! Just put down the bats! That's it- LAPS. NOW!"

"This is a disaster," murmured Katie, appearing beside me once again.

"How much longer is she going to keep this up?"

"What, are you that eager to see your boyfriend?" she replied sarcastically.

I elbowed her, which is no easy feat when you're 40 feet in the air.

"Ginny, Katie! Stop it!"

We both froze, surprised at the outburst, "Is no one listening to me? Does everyone just want to fail?"

"Sorry, Angie," said Katie, as she then began to console her friend.

I wasn't listening because students were shuffling into the gate and I noticed Michael with a group of his friends. And soon after, Harry walking in with Hermione. I zoomed my goggles in a little more. (Goggles that adjusted to your wish that could make you see as far as the horizon if you wanted. They were handy at keeping the snow and rain out of your eyes.)

Harry seemed just fine, if not a little frazzled.

"You know what? That's enough for today," called a defeated Angelina, "everyone just head out."

No one have to tell me twice. Once I knew Harry was okay, I wasn't worried anymore. But I was still curious to know what happened.

Before I knew it, I was walking into the great call with Ron at my tail.

I made it a point to head straight to the empty seat beside Hermione who was seated across from Harry. I wasn't sure how I was going to bring up the Cho Chang incident, but I was damn sure I was going to find out precisely what happened somehow. When I made it to the table, however, it seemed Harry and Hermione had just about wrapped the conversation about the topic up. She was telling him to try and understand how Cho was feeling, and by the way Harry was watching the girl in question leave the room, I could see that it was not my place, nor was it a good time to ask anything. Just my luck.

Harry turned the conversation to quidditch in no time, "So how was Quidditch practice?"

"It was a nightmare," said Ron.

"Oh come on," Hermione replied in a chipper voice, "I'm sure it wasn't-"

"It was appalling," I said, "Angelina was almost in tears by the end of it."

I ate the rest of my dinner in moody silence. Harry ate in a depressed state. Ron only ate half the amount he usually did in an utterly distraught demeanor. And Hermione sat there picking at her food, worried about her three best friends. What a fine group we made.

When I finished I decided that I needed a shower, so bidding everyone a somber farewell I fled the scene.

"Hey, Ginny!" called Michael as I passed the Ravenclaw table.

That was the first time I had seen my boyfriend on Valentine's Day. "Oh, hey," I replied lamely.

He smiled, "I almost forgot," and there came the hope that he remembered it was in fact Valentine's Day, "You left your essay with me. I finished revising it," he said, handing over the folder holding my report. "I wrote some side note in there; your thesis was good, but the execution was a little weak-"

"Thank you, Michael," I curtly interrupted. "I'll see you later."

I left without letting him respond, and then, just when I thought the day couldn't get any worse, I heard a conversation that I could have gone without hearing.

But I eavesdropped on it anyway.

Cho was outside the Great Hall speaking with her gaggle of giggle girlfriends, so before they could spot my I dashed behind the Great Entrance Tapestry.

"So then he was sitting there, as though he wasn't even remotely interested in me at all!" whined Cho.

"Well, that can't be right. Every guy at this school would kill to have been in his place today, Cho! Besides, he took you to Madam Puddifoot's- it is a clear sign that he does like you."

"Although, honestly, I wouldn't even bother," came the voice of Cho's snobby best friend, Marietta Edgecombe. "It's Harry Potter, you can do so much better than him, have you heard at all what the papers are saying?"

"The papers have lied about him before…" argued Cho.

I had to admit, I commended her for sticking up for Harry. But then I heard the rest of the conversation.

"Oh, please! The last time Harry Potter was in the papers was when there was speculation about his more than platonic relationship with Hermione Granger."

At that, Cho burst into tears again.

"What happened next, Cho?"

"We ordered our food and he told me that he had to meet Hermione Granger at the Three Broomsticks afterwards!"

That was right, Hermione had told me she had scheduled a meeting with Rita Skeeter, the snotty reported that loved dragging Harry's name through the mud, at the Three Broomsticks to discuss Harry. Naturally she told Harry to be there. I figured that Harry would have taken Cho…

"How rude!"

"You are much prettier than that Granger!"

"He's not even worth it!"

Oh! So she had taken offence that Harry had planned meeting another girl on Valentine's Day! Well. That would make sense. But hadn't Harry explained?

I knew Harry wasn't the smoothest when it came to women…but I didn't think he could mess that up so much.

"Did he tell you why?"

"No! I left him before he could give me some ridiculous excuse!"

Oh. That. Was. It! she _left _him before he could explain the crucial reason for the meeting? Didn't she understand that there were much more important things that herself going on at the time? There was a bloody war on!

Sure it made sense that she would be upset. Harry was stupid for bringing it up like that, but if she didn't realize that Hermione was a major part in his life…then she was not worth it.

Cho Chang was a vile witch if she didn't see that Harry Potter was worth everything. Nothing would ever happen between Harry and Hermione, and he needed a girl that understood and respected that.

She left poor Harry standing in the middle of the street according to what she told her friends. But I didn't even care to hear anymore. I carefully sneaked away, mad and bitter.

Harry deserved better.

And thinking about Michael, I decided that _I _too deserved better.

Fred and George were probably right. Michael and I and Harry and Cho, were two couples that didn't match.


	11. The Chocolaty Defeat of Cho Chang

The Chocolaty Defeat of Cho Chang

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

"_Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter__  
><em>_Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter__  
><em>_Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade__  
><em>_Don't tell me not to fly, I simply got to__  
><em>_If someone takes a spill, it's me and not you__  
><em>_Who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade__…"_

-Don't Rain On My Parade, Barbra Streisand

I remember the first time I got my first personal glimpse inside the real Harry Potter. Not "The Great Harry Potter" but the troubled and lonely Harry James.

Not that it was the first time I ever saw past his outer shell; obviously, I'd seen him with Sirius back at Grimmuald Place and I suppose you could argue that I saw the real Harry Potter in the Chamber of Secrets as he was at the brink of death. But even then, I was scared out of my mind and he was trying hard to stay calm and be the hero he always refuses to believe he is.

No. He _true_ first time I ever evoked a crack in the thick exterior of Harry Potter was in my fourth year. It wasn't brought out by snake venom, nor was it due to seeing his Godfather for the first time in two years. It was all me.

As I mentioned before, the months marking the ending of the 1995-1996 school term were dark and dreary and full of animosity pain and sorrow. I didn't see much of Hermione, as she was constantly studying for her exams, and Umbridge was making the school the last place on Earth anyone wanted to be.

She was monitoring the Halls with her Inquisitorial Squad, packed with Slytherins no less. I couldn't even tell you how many times I just barely slipped out of receiving a detention. Hogwarts felt like a foreign place.

But still, we were constantly moving forward. It's funny how things happen, one action can cause a ripple effect and cause every action after that one to fall into place. Long term cause and effect, or, as the muggles call it, the _Damano _effect. No idea why.

The story of Harry Potter is one that to this day people claim to know like the back of their hands. Unfortunately, they always seem to miss a few vital details that change the name of the game.

What if I told you that one of my actions began a ripple effect that changed the course of our story?

Now, the first time I was able to open up Harry Potter is interconnected with my ripple in the story. It was what led to the events of the end of the 1995-1996 school year.

Oh yes, everyone knows the story, but no one seems to regard my prominent involvement.

To get a good start, I'm going to have to begin right where I left off in the last entry.

The next quidditch game…

It was torture- pure agonizing torture to sit through a match of that shameful performance, and it was worse to take part in it.

I was sitting up on my broom scanning the pitch for the snitch, but really just watching in amazement at the ridiculous events taking place in the air.

Within the first ten minutes, there was more bloodshed than the entire season altogether! The beaters were brutal and the bludgers were flying hard and fast. I couldn't turn my head in fear that I would be blasted off my broom.

Ron wasn't saving a thing, and the chasers were just totally off their game.

It was just terrible. So I quickly realized I had no choice; to save the well being of my team and keep them alive, as well as to regain composure for our team... I had to catch the snitch. Even though we were down by a whole lot, and there was no way our team was going to be able to make up the points we were losing by, I had to catch the snitch.

We wouldn't win, but we wouldn't have won regardless. Plus, if we still wanted a chance at the Cup, I needed to make the scores a whole lot closer.

Not to mention, I would never let the other team seeker catch the snitch while I was playing. We might have been losing, but I was a Weasley and I still had my pride.

"I'm going to catch it, Angie!" I called as she flew past me.

She gave me a panicked, but resigned look. "Alright! Just, make it quick, I think someone is going to die out here!"

She was right; people had already been pulled off the pitch on stretchers.

And that is how 20 minutes into the match, I was desperately seeking the snitch. I tried to not make it look obvious as to not tip off the opposing seeker, but I failed at that. I caught wind of the snitch easily and the other seeker became aware of that too. He obviously knew his team had the win- no doubt about it- yet my catching of the snitch would be too profitable for Gryffindor.

I caught it. Precisely 22 minutes since the match had begun, I had the snitch grasped in my hand. The other guy sneezed and missed it by half an inch…too bad for him. It was an odd scenario, to have caught the snitch and be holding it as the other team celebrated around me.

When we reached the changing rooms, it was agreed that although we lost, we were not going to let it get us down. We passed it off just as we brushed off a bad practice.

"Good game, Ron," I told my brother when we were the last two in the room.

"I don't care what anyone says, that was not a good game. You all should hate me."

"Of course we don't hate you, don't be dramatic."

He tore his protective gear off, "I don't even know why Angelina is so determined to keep me on the team. I'm terrible."

I shrugged, "I've seen worse."

"Yeah, sure."

"Ron, you play so well at home, and you were amazing during your try out."

"Well maybe that's because I don't have the whole bloody school watching and waiting for me to fail so that they could sing that blasted song!"

I took a step closer to him and put a hand on his shoulder, "I'm sorry. I know it's wretched. But we'll find a way to make Malfoy pay, we always do."

Sighing, Ron finished puffin his clothes on. "I'm going for a walk. If Hermione asks, tell her I just want to be alone."

"Hermione?" I asked, highly amused, "What about Harry?"

His ears turned a bit red and he seemed to have been caught red handed, "Err... Harry too."

"Sure thing."

I began walking back to the castle by myself, wondering where my supposed boyfriend was... but not really caring anyway. I had actually started to begin wondering, as I reached the common room, where Dean Thomas was, when Harry came up beside me as I entered the common room, "Good catch," he said.

I paused. Harry Potter had just complemented my Quidditch playing in a game we lost, while I had played his position. It felt rather nice.

I could've gone on and on about how I truly wasn't that great, or I could've gleamed and said that he'd better watch out. I ended up deciding to go half way.

"I was lucky," I said, "It wasn't a very fast snitch and Summerby's got a cold, he sneezed and closed his eyes at exactly the wrong moment. Anyway, once you back on the team-"

Harry shook his head, "I've got a life ban, Ginny."

Why didn't anyone seem to understand that the ban was a fickle assessment? It was temporary. So I told him the same thing I told Hermione, "You're banned as long as Umbridge is in the school, there's a difference. Anyway, once you're back, I think I'll try out for chaser. Angelina and Alicia are both leaving next year and I prefer goal scoring to seeking anyway." He didn't argue with me, I pretty much knew he wouldn't disagree, the "curse" was a real thing and I wasn't the only one who believed in it.

But the truth was I wanted to be in the middle of the action of the game. Figures right?

I noticed Harry glancing in the direction of a still gloomy Ron, who had finally returned from his walk. I wondered if Harry was envious of Ron, who was still on the team, or if he felt sorry for him. The song "Weasley is our King" had become a crowd favorite.

"Angelina still wouldn't let him resign," I told Harry, "She says she knows he's got it in him."

"He does," agreed Harry, "I'm just not sure if it's worth the strain on him."

Then I spent a moment realizing just what was happening around me. I took in the scene.

There I was, robbed in Gryffindor Quidditch gear after a game in which I got the snitch, but we lost anyway, having a butter dish free conversation with Harry Potter, who was _not _robbed in Gryffindor Quidditch gear, about my brother's sanity.

And all I did was take a sip of my butterbeer, and nod in agreement with Harry as though nothing was out of the normal. Which I supposed at the time…nothing was.

After that Quidditch match, things went from bad to worse (if you can even imagine possible). The article Harry had been interviewed for on Valentine's Day was finally published and printed in _the Quibbler. _The article was bloody brilliant, and so was the effect it had on the Wizarding society, but this only made Dolores Umbridge madder. And so it seemed that from then on out, we had passed poking the hippogriff to punching it in the gut. Repeatedly.

Her face, as she read the piece that morning in front of the entire student body, was priceless. It was a relief to have at least one piece of publication reporting the truth, and not some made-up, euphemistical garbage.

The best part of it all was the fan letters Harry began receiving only minutes later in response to the article. They were letters of support from witches and wizards from all over the country telling Harry how they had complete faith in him, and most importantly, how they believed him. That was the first time I saw Harry genuinely smile that whole year- not even during D.A. meeting did his face light up like that.

Sure Umbridge took the initiative to cut off Harry's mail right away and created accordance 25 which stated that students were not allowed to socialize with any person involved in the press, but I knew, as did Ron and Hermione, that it was all worth it.

Even if Umbridge became even _more_ unbearable. Everyday it seemed there was a new amendment in the law of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Dumbledore was seen less and less when I had rather hoped he'd be the one to put Umbridge in her place. McGonagall was the one who was fighting each and every battle all on her own.

Until the day Umbridge went too far; she had been evaluating teacher performances and sitting in on lessons. Basically, Umbridge was making the lives of all the teachers absolutely miserable. As fun as it was to watch her humiliate Snape, it wasn't so fun to see her criticize say, Professor Sprout. Apparently, though I was not there, I heard that Professor Trelawney's class did the worst with Umbridge present and the entire school was there to witness the outcome of the evaluation.

Umbridge was sacking Trelawney and effectively throwing her out as well. An impressive audience had gathered around the entrance hall where the scene was taking place. 'This is so wrong," I muttered to Colin who stood beside me.

"Can she even do this?" He asked.

Trelawney's two trunks sat at her feet as the woman cried in despair. Sure she wasn't the best teacher, and sure I didn't believe she was a real prophet, but Dumbledore hired her to teach his students Divination on his good judgment. And though it was true that no one- not even Trelawney's number one fan, Lavender Brown- was really learning the gift of seeing into the beyond, we all truly were learning valuable concepts of life, the universe and the significance of questioning everything. We were learning how to use our minds, how to clear them and how to open them.

And that was probably why Umbridge was cutting the course from the school's curriculum. It promoted mental freedom, it encouraged questioning authority and it rebelled against oppression dealt by the Ministry of Magic.

"I've been here 16 years! H-Hogwarts is m-my h-home!" Trelawney begged.

"It _was_ your home," Umbridge emphasized, "Until an hour ago when the Minister of Magic signed your dismissal."

"Can't somebody do something?" Colin was looking over at the distraught Lavender Brown and Partavi Patil.

"There's McGonagall now," I pointed out as the elderly woman rushed to Sybil Trelawney's side and attempted to comfort her. "Here comes another Umbridge-McGonagall spat-" But before the words could come out of my mouth the oak doors opened and Colin smiled.

"I'd hold that thought."

Dumbledore finally entered the mix. "About time he showed up," I said.

Dumbledore started by pointing out to Dolores that she in fact had every right to dismiss his teachers, "You do not, however, have the authority to send them away from the castle. I am afraid that the power to do that still resides with the Headmaster."

Even Snape smirked at that one, and noticing Snape, I saw Harry right beside him. It was strange company until I remembered that Harry was taking Occulamency lessons with Snape to keep Voldemort out of his head.

And suddenly I didn't see Dumbledore besting Umbridge as a big victory at all. And yet, to the oblivious that was the only thing that mattered at the moment. And _that_ ignorance was scarier than any pink toad.

We were in the midst of an avalanche, honestly, when Dumbledore's Army was exposed. Because Umbridge had suspected our meetings earlier on in the year, she was keeping a very close eye on us after initiating the ban of school organizations. So entering the Room of Requirement without being caught by Filtch, the Inquisitorial Squad or Umbridge herself presented a new challenge all in itself. A challenge that we had managed to overcome….until Umbridge became desperate and began questioning students for information. And unfortunately, not all of us were as strong willed as others.

I fear what it would have been like if we hadn't been warned.

We were working on Patronuses, like I said, and there had been much improvement. Mists were beginning to sharpen and confidence was soaring, and the Patronuses of a select few were zipping around the room. Hermione and I were laughing as my horse chased her otter.

"They're sort of nice, aren't they?" she said.

I was about to agree when the door to the Room of Requirement opened and closed. I nearly dropped my wand when a house elf entered the room. "What in Merlin's underpants-"

"That's Dobby the house elf," said Hermione in disbelief. Dobby the house elf; I had heard stories of him. Dobby was the ex-house elf of the Malfoy family, before Harry tricked Lucius Malfoy into freeing the poor little soul.

Dobby was rather fond of Harry, and Harry had a soft spot for him too.

Harry seemed bewildered at the sight of Dobby at his feet, and though I couldn't hear what the elf was telling harry, I could easily see that the creature was terrified and shaking from nerves. The room fell silent as people began taking steps closer.

"Who's 'she' Dobby?"

Dobby was too frightened to speak, but Harry seemed to put things together on his own, "Umbridge?" questioned a horrified Harry. Dobby nodded. "Is she coming?"

A collective gasp raced about the room, and Dobby finally caught his voice, "Yes, Harry Potter, yes!"

It didn't take long to discover the next logical step in our situation, "What are you waiting for?" asked Harry turning to us, "RUN!"

And we did, oh boy did we run. I made sure to get as many people out before me as I could until Ron took me by the wrist and dragged me along with him. "Ron! What about Harry and Hermione?"

"I thought she was with you!" He called stopping his break-neck speed very abruptly, but as he did, Hermione rushed past us.

"I'm right here, come on!"

We continued running, "Where's Harry?" I called, panting and extremely frazzled.

"He was getting Dobby out of the way, he'll be along right away, I'm sure."

Without another word the three of us raced down the corridor, intending on making it to the common room, before we heard a contented yell of victory.

Someone had caught Harry.

"No!" I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Ginny, come on!"

"We can't just leave him, Ron! We can't let him go down for this alone; it was our fault as much as his!"

"Look, Harry can take care of himself, you are my first priority."

"Where is your sense of loyalty?" I asked my brother, astonished at his attitude, "You sound like a Slytherin more than a Gryffindor!"

"We need to do _something_ other than just stand here," whispered a nervous Hermione, "They are going to come looking for us especially."

"We have to go back."

"Harry's my best friend, alright? But I know he is going to be fine, and you know that he wouldn't want us to go back if we had a chance to get away. There is no point in all of us getting mixed up in that right now, if we are going to get in trouble at some point anyway."

"Ron!-"

"I'm not going to let you get hurt again!" he abruptly said, shocking me into silence. "I know we've had our issues, but I will not let anything happen to you if I can help it, not again. I don't care about anything else right now, and I don't bloody care if you don't want me to protect you, and I can promise you that Harry would agree. Keep moving."

"I'm not some sort of doll that you can control! I'm not going to let you think you need to protect me!" If he thought that would be his way to atone for what happened my first year he was surely mistaken.

"You didn't see yourself coming out of the Chamber!" Ron stressed. Hermione looked down at her feet, "_I _did. And Harry did. This isn't about making up for what I did; it's about wanting to do the best thing for you, even when you don't know what that is. You were broken, and I don't give a damn if you deny it."

He looked so determined, and suddenly I remembered the hurt in his blue eyes during our argument at the pyramid in Egypt the summer after the Chamber. This was grown up Ron now still holding that hurt in the back of heart, and I could see it. I felt instantly guilty. And as much as it went against what I stood for, I let Ron have that one. Just once would he take care of me and Merlin help him if he tried it again.

"We need to go, I hear someone coming this way."

I supposed Harry would be fine, he always was. So we left and were in the common room in no time, welcomed into the midst of Gryffindors asking questions.

"All we know," replied an exasperated Ron, "Is that someone got Harry."

There were many solemn and remorsefully regretful looks. "So what are we supposed to do now?" Someone in the crowd asked.

"We wait."

The whole lot of us began pacing; back and forth pacing in opposite directions. Those who were not involved with the D.A., which was mainly the younger students, seemed frightened and not sure what to do. The cat was out of the bag, so to speak, but we weren't about to discuss the D.A. in front of them.

"We are done for. Not only are _we_ going to get it, but we will never be able to re-group this thing," complained Seamus.

Ron turned to face him, "As if you ever cared all that much, Finnigan, you've been against this until just recently."

"I've paid me dues, I have. I said I was wrong, and I was sorry. Dumbeldore's Army if the best thing we've got, in't it?"

Everyone was worried about our fates with the club, but I was more anxious about what Umbridge was doing with Harry. What a surprise.

"What is taking so long?" asked Hermione.

"No idea."

It was a while before we heard anything and the time was going slowly.

"What do you think is happening?" asked a curious Dean Thomas as he joined me by the window.

I sighed, "Umbridge is probably creating a way to make this seems like a conspiracy."

"That's exactly what she's doing!" called Ron from his seat beside Hermione.

"I just hope he's okay," I said.

"Who, Harry? I'm sure he'll be fine."

Dean's words weren't comforting- _even if_ they were the ones I had been repeating in my head, because suddenly the image of Harry dying from Basilisk venom at twelve years old, flashed in my head, followed by the image of Wormtail slitting his arm too deep in the graveyard and dying of blood loss.

"Yeah, I suppose he is."

But Dean wasn't an idiot, he noticed my preoccupation. "So Ginny, how are things with Michael?"

"With who?"

He was immediately perplexed, "Michael…your boyfriend…?"

"Oh, yes!" I jumped, completely embarrassed with what he must have thought of me. "Michael, of course, sorry I wasn't paying attention."

Dean chuckled, "Obviously."

"Um…things are alright, I guess. Why do you ask?"

He shrugged bashfully, "I just…never see you two together, and I wasn't sure if you had broken up, and if maybe you had…moved on to someone else."

He meant Harry; of course I knew he meant Harry, he had seen it all over my face. But he was wrong. I was only worried about Harry because he was a close friend of the family, and I would even dare say he was _my _friend too- even though that was a far cry since the argument we had at Christmas.

"No, no, I'm still with Michael."

"Dean's face dimmed a bit, and it was because of that look that the butterflies in my stomach kicked me to say, "But I honestly don't think it's going to last much longer."

It was terrible for me to say such a thing, but I didn't regret it, not after the smile I was rewarded with. The smile was infectious, so I smiled too…I really liked Dean's smile.

"Well, then, when you _are_ single…owl me."

I was pleasantly surprised with his forwardness and was amused to see he was too.

"Wow, I can't believe I used that line," he said.

I laughed, "It's okay…it was sweet." And just liked that, I realized that Dean Thomas was succeeding at distracting me from the mess; I was going to have to end it with Michael, I knew it. We never got on well in the first place, and I was starting to have feelings for the boy before me.

"Harry!" cried Hermione, causing everyone's attention to snap towards the door.

He was climbing into the common room with a very dark expression in his eyes.

"What happened, mate?" asked Finnigan.

"I…you are not going to believe this."

"Let him sit! Oi- out of the way!" ordered Ron, pulling Harry toward the couch.

"Alright, Harry, tell us what happened."

The boy in question stared into the fire as the whole of Gryffindor gathered around. "She accused us of being the weapon that the Ministry believes Dumbledore is hiding," he said after some time.

"What?"

"She accused Dumbledore of rounding us up and training us to fight against the Ministry."

"She can't seriously believe-"

"Dumbledore took the blame."

The common room was dead silent; you could hear a feather drop.

"Why would he do that?" I asked, breaking the shock.

"To protect me, to protect all of us!"

"But, he had nothing to do with this!"

Harry shook his head, "He kept insisting that since it was his name, _Dumbledore's _Army was all his doing."

That name was my idea. Dumbledore was blamed because I gave the stupid idea that we were fighting behind Dumbledore, not against the Ministry but against Voldemort. And now Dumbledore was going to be punished for my doing. I felt so guilty that I couldn't help but ask, "What did they do to him?"

"As much as Umbridge hates me, she hates Dumbledore even more. She believed it, like it was exactly the response she was searching for. Kingsley Shacklebot was there and even Cornelius Fudge."

Now that was huge news. Kingsley Shacklebot was and Auror (magical law enforcer) for the Ministry of Magic and also was a guard of the Minister and Muggle Prime Minister. Also, and more importantly, he was a double agent for the Order of the Phoenix. He was a lead wizard in the secret society who was a passionate believer of Dumbledore and supporter of Harry. He was part of the guard that collected Harry from the Dursley house before term, and he was the one thwarting the Ministry's attempts to find Sirius Black by constantly leading them in wrong directions.

And Cornelius Fudge, of course, was the Minister of Magic at the time- in case I haven't mentioned that already.

"The Minster of Magic, here at Hogwarts?" asked Lavender Brown.

"What?"

"Shh! Let him finish!"

Harry ran a hand through his hair and stood up. "This was a bad idea; we never should have done this-"

"Harry," interrupted a guilty looking Hermione, (seems like there was a lot of guilt to go around) "It was worth it. We all agree that this club was worth any amount of detention."

"This is about more than detention, Hermione!"

Dean took a step closer, "What happened then, Harry, finish your story."

Poor Harry seemed at a loss for words. He couldn't even look us in the eyes, and I knew it was going to be really bad.

"They were going to arrest him and send him to Azkaban."

Pandemonium broke out. Dumbledore in Azkaban- it was a ridiculous thought and we all knew it.

"No! We can't let him take the blame!"

"Dumbledore can't go!"

The common room had never been so noisy, "He didn't do anything wrong."

Harry spoke again, "They made it seem like Dumbledore was plotting a violent rebellion against the Ministry and it's because they know people will follow him."

"We have to do something," Seamus said.

"It's too late."

At this, the Gryffindors quieted. "What do you mean it's too late, they've already taken him?"

"Oh no, I never said that, Dumbledore would never let himself be taken to Azkaban."

"I don't understand, Harry. Where is Dumbledore now?" asked Ron.

"He's gone."

"Gone? Where?"

He shrugged, "I have no idea, but he knows how to make an exit."

I zoned out after that and returned to my window. Dumbledore was gone and already the school felt unsafe. Everyone was listening to Harry's description of Dumbledore's departure, but I was preoccupied with my own thoughts.

The last time Dumbledore left the school…I was taken into the Chamber of Secrets.

The story of Dumbledore's wicked exit on the tail of his pet phoenix was the main bit of gossip in the underground rumor mill for the following week.

Underground because we had a new headmaster- or shall I say, headmistress.

Or better yet, ruthless dictator. Little did we know that that wouldn't be the last time Hogwarts was run by tyrants.

As for the D.A., well what did you expect? Detention. I had noticed the peculiar scar on the back of Harry's hand but I never questioned it. I know Hermione was hounding him about telling a professor about Umbridge's less than orthodox punishment, but he never did. And now we were all subjected to face the same punishment he did.

Blood quills.

We wrote lines with blood quills; instead of ink the quills wrote with our blood. The parchment was red and so were the back of our hands where the inscriptions were forming to display what we were writing. The blood source was our hands and the cuts that carved the words into our skin got deeper each time we started a new line as they were retraced. We didn't scar thankfully. But due to Harry's repeated cut opening…he did.

Something. Had. To. Be. Done.

The D.A. culprit was caught of course. It was none other than Cho's darling friend Marietta Edgecombe who turned us in to Umbridge and the Inquisitorial Squad. But at least we did have our own revenge; to be completely honest, Hermione had only informed Ron, Harry and myself that she had jinxed the registration list for Dumbledore's Army so that anyone who sold us out would gain a face completely full of pimples and the word SNEAK written across their forehead. She told us because she knew that the three of us were the ones who would die before ratting out the club. And that is no exaggeration.

Then again we didn't think anyone else would do it either, but we were proven wrong, and Marietta was being treated in the hospital wing. As far as Cho Chang went, it seemed that the situation with her best friend put a heavier strain on her relationship with Harry. I watched them argue in the corridor one day and rolled my eyes when I saw that she was walking away with tears in her eyes. Although I had no idea what had transpired, I couldn't keep my mouth shut when she stormed by, "Harry has a lot more pressing matters to deal with, I don't think that Marrieta qualifies. Cho, if you want to keep him, I suggest you actually listen to him and _his _problems for a change."

She turned and gave me the hardest glare I had ever seen. "Excuse me?"

I squared my shoulders, I was completely sick of her attitude, and the way she'd been treating Harry and Hermione. "You heard me, Cho. Harry is a great guy and he deserves better than a girl who always walks away mad."

Given I had walked away furious with him before, but I wasn't his…girlfriend? Significant other? I never understood how to define that relationship.

She sniffed and wiped her eyes, "You seem to think you know a lot about Harry and his needs. Are you fighting for his affections too? You and Granger are pathetic."

"Excuse _me? _Who the bloody hell are you to-"

"I'm sure Michael would like to hear about your little crush on Harry Potter," she sneered, "Or well, from what I understand, the crush that never really went away."

Cho stormed off before I could hex her, which was pure luck on her part, because my reflexes were getting better with each D.A. meeting. It just so happened she took me that completely off guard. Oh she had it coming. Threatening me? When I was only trying to help? Perhaps my execution was edgy, but it was good advice none the less. Oh no, no, no, she had it coming.

Cho Chang was thoroughly mistaken if she thought I was going to let her get away with her holier than thou attitude.

If one thing was definite it was that when the Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw match came around I was going to annihilate her.

She was the Ravenclaw seeker, and I was going to catch that snitch.

In no time, yet another tragically horrible Quidditch practice was upon us, but don't worry, I won't have you sit through yet another one. I will spare you from the details and myself from having to relive it. Basically Angelina called it quits once Ron left to carry Sloper off to the Hospital Wing. There were only theories to what had really happened.

Anyhow, I went for a walk to burn off my leftover adrenaline and I wound up in the Owlrey. Since the Easter holiday was upon us, I figured mum would be sending a care package at any moment. And as I suspected, there was a box in the cleared postal area.

No doubt Umbridge and Filtch personally went through each piece of mail. I was sure Fred and George were driving them insane with the ordered items from Zonko's joke shop in Hogsmeade.

I couldn't exactly wait to see what was inside, however. So I opened the package, noting the red lettering on the cover reading, 'Inspected and passed by the Hogwarts High Inquisitor.'

Inside were several delicious looking chocolate eggs, each one decorated differently, personalized for each person. Mine was obviously the pink one with rainbows and flowers. Not surprising, I was mommy's little girl after all. So I just rolled my eyes and took it out taking a bite and savoring the taste. I must admit, I did consider keeping them all for myself; maybe no one would notice if I never mentioned them. That's when I realized, however, that there were more than just four eggs.

My brother's were easy to decipher; Ron's was the orange one with quaffles and broomsticks, Fred's was the blue one that sported fireworks and a large F that made it distinctly different from George's nearly identical one, except his had a large G.

Then there were two left, two that I had not been expecting. One was embellished with small books and quills with ink, while the last one had golden snitches flying around a tiny lightning bolt.

It was rather obvious that these were for Harry and Hermione.

So I quickly ate my egg and decided to deliver the rest. On my way, I found Fred and George. They seemed to be plotting something so I left them to it and didn't linger around. Then, not sure where the Trio was, I asked around and it seemed Hermione had locked herself up in her dorm room revising and Ron was showering from practice after leaving the hospital wing. Harry was said to have been seen near the library.

And so, I headed off to the library, feeling somewhat like the Easter bunny. I found him sitting by himself off to the side of the library.

The sight nearly broke my heart. He just looks so… sad. I hated seeing him like that and, unfortunately, I had much too often that year.

I knew I looked a fright. I was still post- practice looking. But then again, what did I care how I looked in front of Harry?

Not allowing myself to think about it anymore, I walked over to Harry. "Studying hard, or hardly studying?" I asked.

His eyes remained gazing at his paper, giving me no indication that his mind was anywhere in that library. His hair was as frazzled as ever; he'd obviously been tearing at it with his hands. There were deep and prominent shadows under his eyes, and a wicked scar on his hand (just one to add to his collection). This, my friends, was the _Great Harry Potter_. And he still hadn't looked up.

"Harry, I'm talking to you, can you hear me?" I knew he probably just hadn't been paying attention to anything around him.

He blinked and focused on me; his green eyes were open and vulnerable. "Oh, hi," he said as he took a second to recognize me. "How come you're not at practice?"

"It's over," I said, "Ron had to take Jack Sloper to the hospital wing."

"Why?"

"Well, we're not sure but we think he knocked himself out with his own bat." Sloper was a lethal weapon of mass destruction. "Anyway, a package just arrived; it's only just got through Umbridge's new screening process." He took the package and curiously began to unwrap what I had haphazardly rewrapped. "It's Easter Eggs from mum," I told him as I picked out the one I knew to be his, "There's one for you," and passed it to him, "There you go."

He stared at it and several emotions passed through his face. There was appreciation and gratitude. Wonder. Surprise. Then it finally settled on just plain sadness. I didn't want to pry…but I had promised Sirius I would look after Harry and help him in any way I could.

Besides, this was probably about Cho, and though Sirius actually liked the idea of a different romantic arrangement, I still owed it to him to be there for Harry. And what was Harry supposed to do? Talk to _Ron?_

"Are you okay, Harry?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he replied with a gruff. I refrained from rolling my eyes; Harry was always _'fine'._

"You seem down lately," I plunged on, "You know, I'm sure if you just talked to Cho-"

"It's not Cho I want to talk to," he admitted, throwing me for a spin. I didn't say a word, as to not distract him from letting his thoughts out. I just hoped he trusted me.

And he did.

"I wish I could talk to Sirius," this confession was not easy for him; I could tell by the way he lowered his voice and his head. I couldn't help but think that this was the first time he'd said those words out loud. "But I know I can't." His eyes were so tortured that I was afraid he was going to cry.

He took a piece of his chocolate as he awaited my reply. In the meantime I was trying to think of something that would console his desperate need to see Sirius. The only thing I could think of was for him to _actually see Sirius._ And why not? We'd done crazier things.

"Well," I finally said taking a piece of his chocolate, (it looked delicious and I _had_ eaten all of mine) "If you really want to talk to Sirius, I expect we could think of a way to do it."

He'd battled dragons. Ron, Fred and George flew a car to Surrey to retrieve Harry in the middle of the night. Hermione took Harry back in time. Ron had beaten a life size chess board. I unlocked a monster from behind the sink in the girl's bathroom.

What was this situation compared to our history?

"Come on," he sighed, "With Umbridge policing the fires and reading our mail?"

This was Harry Potter-the boy who had defeated Voldemort at the age of 1 and bested him at the age of 11, 12 and14. He obviously was in need of a reminder.

And I suppose we all did.

"The thing about living with Fred and George, is that you sort of start thinking anything is possible if you've got enough nerve."

And right then, Harry and I linked eyes. I felt it down to my toes. He just seemed more hopeful and his eyes brightened-

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

"Oh damn," I whispered feeling my heart fall into my throat. "I forgot!" I jumped up as Madam Pince, the irate librarian marched her way toward us.

"Chocolate in the library! Out-out-OUT!" 

And so we ran, chuckling and stumbling as she charmed our belongings to hit us repeatedly as we retreated.

"Close call, huh?" I laughed as the door to the library closed behind us and we collected our things.

"Yeah," replied a short-breathed Harry.

We began walking in the direction of the common room out of habit rather than actually thinking about it. We were quiet, as I really didn't know what to say, and Harry was lost in thought.

It wasn't an awkward silence, really, it was calm and comfortable- for me at least- but since Harry wasn't fidgeting, or running a hand through his hair (the tell-tale signs that he is uncomfortable) I understood that he was fine with the silence too.

It was a nice, new feeling. Calming. I could be alone with Harry _without _tripping over my words or myself for that matter.

"You know, Ginny," commented Harry, tearing me out of my thoughts. "You-I…no, I guess-…well…" he sighed, a very resigned sigh.

I almost laughed, "Cat caught your tongue, Harry?"

He blushed and I was pleasantly surprised- no- I was thrilled. Don't judge me.

He looked away, "I suppose…" Harry admitted, proving that he really was having trouble getting out what was obviously bothering him. I didn't particularly care to see him so down, and though I hated the girl for him, I cursed Cho for leaving him alone after he was willing to open his hear to her- to _someone._

"I guess the shoe is on the other foot now, isn't it?" I said hoping to lighten the mood.

My face was burning when he turned to me with questioning eyes. I continued looking straight forward gauging his reaction through my peripheral vision. At first, he was confused, that is, until he saw my flush of embarrassment; then he took in my meaning and smiled softly. I was glad I said it. Hey, what's a jab at my expense when it could make him feel the least bit better? I was never able to string three words together when I was in front of him. I could allow him this.

"You see? That's what I mean. Ginny, you _always _know that right thing to say, and when to say it."

And thus the truth emerged. I looked at him for a moment, forgetting my previous embarrassment, totally bewildered. Me? The right thing to say? "That's not true."

"Yes it is."

"Harry, if that was true, I would have said 'Hello' to you that first day at the Burrow instead of running away like a nutcase."

"But-"

"If that were true, I _wouldn't_ have told Tom anything in that blasted diary."

"Hey," Harry sharply pulled back and grabbed my elbow forcing me to stop. But then like an electric shock, he pulled his hand away.

I stared at my elbow.

"You were young, he took advantage of you. It was a mistake."

"A big one."

"Yes, but we learn from it, move on and accept that it's a part of you."

I looked into his eyes, "Have you been telling yourself that too?"

He didn't reply; I didn't expect him to.

We kept walking.

"What I'm trying to say here…I never apologized for what I said…back at Christmas."

"It's done-"

"No. I…really stuck my foot in my mouth, I was just…angry."

"It's fine, Harry, really-"

"No. Not it's not, Ginny."

His conviction was so strong, I had no choice but to stop and listen.

"I was insensitive. I haven't forgotten about the Chamber, Ginny. I promise, how could I? But… I didn't really give much thought to how it affected you and what you had gone through… and what you had to go through to get over something like that…after."

He was so ashamed of himself, I could easily see that. Yes it hurt, that he could just walk away and never look back when I was _still _fighting off the demons, but what did my feelings matter in the big scheme of things? Harry didn't need another thing to fret about; I was a big girl I could handle it. Besides I couldn't stay mad at Harry Potter for long.

"I understand, Harry, I honestly do. You've had enough on your mind the past few years to worry about your best friend's little sister."

Harry grimaced, "See? That proves it. I mean, Ginny you're more than just my best friend's little sister, you're _my _friend too. I should have made sure you knew that instead of disregarding it."

I couldn't help it, I smiled. I was finally more than just the little sister, tag along. I was my own person in Harry's eyes.

"You're my friend too, Harry."

He smiled just as wide. "Good."

We walked some more, nearing our destination before he said something that changed the course of my story forever.

"You know, I think…that perhaps I never thought too much about how you were dealing with it…because you were so strong. You never let it show that it got to you. You held your head up every day after the Chamber. You did become your own, like I said, you seemed to move on from it. How could I think of you as the little girl who was fooled by Voldemort, when you were off being so good at being… Ginny?"

I tried to control my blush. "What do you mean by _'being Ginny'_?"

He half smiled shyly, "I mean aside from, the few…er…embarrassing incidents," I knew exactly what he was referring to, butter dishes and get well cards flashed before my head. "You're smart and funny, and a great Quidditch player."

I honestly thought I was going to die. "Not as good as you-"

"You can out chase me any day."

"You can't mean that."

"I do."

I was flushing, almost drowning in melting, girlish goo. I had to do something to save face. So I said the first thing that popped into my head, "You better be careful, you don't want Cho hearing you talk like that."

He seemed puzzled. Boys. They could compliment girls and say things without realizing that it holds a completely different meaning for girls. It's that boy/girl translation. It can be very misleading.

I knew that Harry and Cho were not together, but against what I wished, he wasn't going to be able to talk like this to other girls if he wanted a second chance with her.

"Cho? Why should I care what she hears me say?"

"Because she was angry enough when you suggested meeting Hermione, imagine how upset she'll be when she hears you complimenting you're best friend's sister. That would definitely diminish any chance you have left." The jealous wrench.

Harry and I were reaching the portrait hole when he stopped. "Chance? I don't want another chance, we didn't work out, and we probably never would."

I stopped too, "Really?"

"Yeah."

"Oh good, Harry cause she's awful. I heard what happened on Valentine's Day, but was afraid you still had feelings for her."

Harry shrugged, obviously uncomfortable with the turn the conversation had taken, "No."

"You deserve better."

"Thanks. She was rather...temperamental. I mean, yes, Cedric...but... I don't know. Maybe I'm just being insensitive again."

"No. Any girl who tries to make a guy feel jealous by bringing up past relationships and goes beserk because said guy has a female best friend can't be worth it. Especially for you."

Harry smiled widely. "Yes, I guess I need someone...stronger." With that he walked through the portrait hole, smirking and throwing a last, "Thanks for the chocolate, Gin!" over his shoulder.

And I stood there, utterly paralyzed in shock, for Harry Potter had, not only actually flirted smoothly with the opposite sex, but he has flirted with me. It couldn't believe it. He was...perfect, nothing embarrassing, and not tripping on his words.

And then I took what he said into consideration. And was baffled again. If someone would have told me that morning that the day would wind up like that... I would have laughed in his or her face and told them to stay out of Snape's potions.

I knew he meant the underlining message. I saw it in his eyes. Not that he meant it to go anywhere, but it was a boost to my ego and I appreciated it. No. I loved it. And I hadn't seen Harry in such a light hearted mood since the Quidditch World Cup the year before.

Then from around the corner came my boyfriend, Michael, and I fell right back into reality.

I had promised to talk to Fred and George, and that was a promise I intended to keep. Talking to my brothers would be the easy part, all I had to do was mention an idea and it would automatically beginning a tennis match between their heads (Tennis –according to muggle studies, a sport played one on one or at times two on two in which each player hits a yellow ball to back and forth over a net to each other using a racquet. Racquet- according to muggle studies, a sport's implement, usually consisting of a handle and an oval frame with a tightly interlaced network of strings, used to strike a ball) and the rest would fall into place. Like I said, _Damino Effect. _The hard part was making them think it was their idea the whole time.

Why?

Because they would take the mickey out of me if I suggested we help Harry.

"Trying to earn some appreciation, Gin-Gin?" they would say.

"Or are you still after that close and personal thank you?"

Oh they would still help Harry- they would move heaven and Earth to help- but I would lose my sanity, dignity and pride in the process.

So I did what I had to do.

Trick Fred and George.

Easier said than done.

"Look, the only reason I asked for your help is because you two actually appreciate this and agree to it."

"Wait," said George as he and his twin followed close behind me.

"What exactly is this book about again?"

"I told you," I whispered as we entered the library, "I found this book just recently: a prank book."

"A book that pranks you?"

"Or a book full of ideas for pranks?"

"We are not stupid dear sister-"

"You can't put the wool over ours eyes."

I wasn't facing them so they couldn't see my smirk, "A book _about _pranks."

"And why do you need us?"

"Not that we aren't flattered that you would share this secret with us."

"Are you both hard of hearing?" I asked leading them through the shelves, "I just went over this! I need someone 17 or older. It has an age restriction and it won't let you open it up if you are underage."

I wasn't lying; there really was such a book. The only thing I wasn't being truthful about was the fact that I had truly found it my second year and was saving it for my last year when I turned 17. I had never told a soul about it- save for Sirius and he seemed to know exactly the book I meant. What shocked me was the Fred and George hadn't discovered that particular Hogwarts secret in all their time at the school. I knew that showing them would ruin it but Harry was more important, as was my sanity. The book was the best bait I could think of.

"I must admit, Gin-Bug-"

"I am most intrigued."

We reached the back and I searched for the shelf with the engraving, "Here," I said when my fingers grazed the etching. I took my wand out and noticed my brothers' eyebrows rising.

"There are no books on pranking here."

"Really?" I waved my wand over the shelf and muttered, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." Just as quickly, a compartment popped open from under the wood holding the books. I heard two collective gasps. "The Marauders created this compartment. Apparently each generation must hide it in their own form for the next trouble makers to come across it."

"Wicked," they said together. The book was called _Mischievous Minds _and I knew they couldn't resist.

"Go on, take it. There's an age barrier that won't let me touch it."

I watched them grab it and hide it within their robes, and I won't tell you how, it is a trade mark Weasley secret.

"I have to say-"

"This is most impressive."

"And we are most proud."

I'm sure they were; I'm sure they were grinning like cats on the inside, "Yeah, yeah, let's just get out of here so we can take a look about what's on the inside." I then began to lead them out a different way from the one we used to get in, and just as I figured, they didn't notice.

"You know, Forge, I don't think we should let her read this at all."

Now, that I had been expecting too. My brothers could be gits. "What?" I said, playing my part while I was really searching for a specific head of black hair that was spotted soon enough. Perfect.

"You're absolutely right, Gred. She isn't 17 yet-" George stopped talking and I knew exactly why.

It was like clockwork.

Harry was seated just where I had left him the day before. Though he seemed in better spirits then he was when I first saw him, (I hoped the change had to do with our chat) he still didn't look anyway nears okay.

And Fred and George obviously saw that. See, if I had been straight forward with them they would have thought I was over reacting and accused me of being too much like mom because I was in love with Harry. They would have helped, but wouldn't have taken it as seriously just because I had been the one to ask. They could never understand the fact that I had moved on from Harry and was happy with someone else (well, mostly over Harry, and well, mostly happy- but I would never admit it).

Here, they saw it for themselves with no prior bias or persuasion. "What's wrong with him?"

"He looks like death."

"Have you forgotten?" I asked, "He's kind of been having a rough year. Come on, let's leave him to it; you know how he gets when people fuss."

"I suppose-"

"Maybe."

"But something more specific _must_ be bothering him today-"

"Something big-"

"Bigger than the toad-"

"If that is even possible."

And that was my cue, "Well, I _did_ talk to Hermione just the other day and she brought up Harry, and mentioned that he was really missing Sirius and wished there was a way he could talk to him."

"Talk to Sirius?"

"Is that all?"

"Yeah," I sighed a perfectly crafted sigh, "But it's impossible. Umbridge has blocked all the floos and is checking all the mail."

The twins shook their heads and led me out of the library, "What have we always taught you, dear sister?"

"Nothing is impossible-"

"Difficult maybe-"

"But not impossible."

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking Fred?" asked George looking down to the book in his hands.

Fred smiled, "That would be a safe bet, George."

Check and mate.

Turns out that Fred and George took advice from the book I so graciously sacrificed; which I found surprising because, when had Fred and George ever needed help creating a ruckus? But I suppose they read something that was much too tempting to pass up. They wanted to help Harry, and so that is precisely what they did…and of course, they didn't do anything the easy way.

"Ginny, I don't like this at all. He's going to get caught and he has gotten into enough trouble this year as is," fretted Hermione the morning of said "plan." She had overheard the twins' idea and ever since had been a down-right nag, but what could I do? I had _nothing_ to do with it.

"Hermione," I said anyway, "What is the worst that can happen? Harry get's sent home? I'd rather be anywhere than here."

She gave me a serious look, but it was out of my hands. I had left it all up to Fred and George, and if they were planning some sort of surprise I was not going to be blamed for it. "Brilliant role model you are, Ginny Weasley."

"I try."

As you could have expected, the plan worked magnificently. Fred and George managed to turn one of the school corridors into a disgusting swamp. It was one of the funniest things I'd ever seen, only to be topped by Umbridge's face when she saw it. It was just enough to distract the whole school and I made sure to notice Harry rush in the opposite direction towards Umbridge's office.

The only thing I _hadn't_ planned on was the final result. I talked with Harry, which led me to plant the idea in the twins' head, that caused me to give them the book that they took the idea from, which resulted in Harry running to talk to Sirius and that was my plan all along, though I never cared to admit it. However, to my surprise, Fred and George were not planning on staying and serving whatever punishment befell them. Fred and George bid adieu to the school with a grand exit, a bow, a wave and flew from the premises un-graduated after seven years.

Mum was going to have a fit.

And I could not be blamed for a thing.

It was fantastic!

Harry, soon after, joined the fray that had erupted outside just as it had when Trelawney was sacked, and I could already see the change in his eyes, some of the darkness was gone and he seemed a bit more at ease.

I inconspicuously made me way over, not that anyone was watching while they were busy watching my brothers fade away into the horizon on their broomsticks.

"How was your chat?" I murmured.

Harry looked down, once again surprised to see me. "Just what I needed actually."

I smiled, "I told you. When it comes to Fred and George, nothing is impossible."

Harry shrugged, "I don't know, I'm starting to think they aren't the only Weasley's with that trait."

So… he saw right through me. "You have no idea, Potter, no idea."

When the last match of the yer arrived, I was so green with nerves I almost lost my breakfast in the changing rooms.

"I don't know how we did it," said Angelina as she delivered the traditional pre-game pep talk, "But we've made it to the Quidditch final and we are playing for the cup. We can win this thing. We've made it this far why not go further?" Cheers and hollers erupted and I stayed silent holding my stomach.

"Wouldn't that be a way to end the year? Proving to Umbridge that she can't stop the Gryffindor team no matter what she does? That cup is ours and not even that pudgy frog can take it away from us!"

More cheers rang out and that time I smiled. It would have been the greatest end; my mood had been so bad that entire year that a turn of events would be delicious.

We were playing well; the demanding practice seemed to be paying off and the crowd definitely noticed. Ron was saving most of what came his way and Katie, Angie and Alicia were hitting the mark. The only thing I was worried about was catching the snitch since everyone else was doing their part so well. When it came down to it, I knew was a better player than Cho. She was too keenly influenced by her emotions and that made her flighty and erratic. I always remained in check and the only emotion I let show was my competitive streak.

So when she approached me in the air, I wasn't disappointed by my reaction.

"I would care less about Harry and more about Michael if I were you, Weasley," she called, "It doesn't seem like Michael is too happy with you at the moment."

"Oh, really? And how would you know that?" Sure, they were in the same house, but I hadn't realized that they were so well acquainted.

"It's not my fault he felt so neglected he searched for attention elsewhere," she said in one breath; the moment the words left her mouth I nearly jumped off my broom and attacked her. But that would have been a disaster because she was already gone. She'd done it again! Run her mouth and said something so vile I wanted to strangle her, then leave in a flash!

Cho had seen the snitch and attempted in distracting me so that she could reach it first. It was a mean trick, but she didn't know that it wouldn't work on me.

Not only was my relationship with Michael pretty much over to begin with (we had yet another disagreement when he bumped into me right after I spoke with Harry) but her comment only made me angry and even more determined. I would beat her to the snitch and then into the ground. So I was only about 3 seconds behind her.

How dare she have the audacity to dangle my boyfriend's loyalty in front of me when at the same time her loyalty lied with Harry! Two wrongs did not make a right.

She didn't deserve him and I would say it until I had no voice. She did not deserve Cedric, and she most certainly did not deserve the snitch. So I caught it.

"Maybe," I said once we touched ground, "You should focus more on Quidditch than the love lives of younger boys. What is it? No one in your year have the time to dry your tears?"

"Woo-Hoo!"

"We did it!"

"The CUP! We WON!"

My team had reached me and it didn't give Cho the chance to respond. Not that she could have anyway, since she was sobbing so hard. With a frustrated cry, she threw her broom to the ground like a spoiled little princess.

I know I seemed harsh, I know that her boyfriend had been murdered not a year before, but that did not give her any right to be so crude! She was not honoring Cedric's memory by implementing that attitude. She could no longer use the pity excuse. She was mean, and shallow, and I couldn't help but stand up to her.

And even though she was the one to capture Harry's heart (though not anymore, apparently, he still _had_ feelings for her) and I envied that she did what I never could, in that moment I felt at least a little bit superior to Cho Chang.


	12. A Silver Statement

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

**Entry11: A Silver Statement**

"_How you gonna cope when there is no closure?  
>Where you gonna reach when the goal gets higher?<br>How you gonna make it through when you think you lost your chance?_

_Play on when you're losing the game  
>Play on 'cause you're gonna make mistakes<br>It's always worth the sacrifice  
>Even when you think you're wrong<br>So play on, play on_

_Even through a storm on the darkest night  
>don't you ever give up the fight,<em>

_Even when you think you're all alone  
>Play on," Play on - Carrie Underwood<em>

If you haven't already been able to tell, I tend to be left behind every time Harry goes on some crazy mission with my brother and best friend. Whether it was because I was too young, I didn't know what was happening, or they just didn't want me tagging along. With all the changes that had happened my fourth year, my friendship with Sirius, my boyfriend, and relaxing around Harry, I should have known that that was the year I would embark on my first adventure with him.

The school year was coming to a close, and Umbridge was just has terrible as ever. Ever since the D.A. crumbled and Dumbledore left the premises, Umbridge was the dictator we all despised more than before. It didn't even feel like school anymore, and this was precisely what I was telling Luna as we walked down the corridor _that night._

She was about to respond when we heard a familiar voice yell, "I EXPECT HE'D SAY SOMETHING DIFFERENT IF HE KNEW WHAT I'D JUST-" He never really got to finish, however, because Luna and I walked through the door in alarm. Harry's voice sounding like that was never a good sign.

"Hi," I said, "We recognized Harry's voice- what are you yelling about?"

"Never you mind," the green eyed boy replied harshly. I was really starting to get irritated with his attitude that year, but I also knew that patience would win out.

"There's no need to take that tone with me," I said just as coolly, "We were just wondering if we could help."

"Well you can't."

Hermione looked at me thoughtfully before saying, "Wait…wait Harry they _can_ help."

My attention was caught immediately, I remember being so startled that I was actually being considered to help in some way, even though I still had no clue what they were talking about.

"Listen," Hermione continued. "Harry we need a way to establish if Sirius has really left headquarters-" But Harry interrupted then, saying that he knew what he was talking about, and it turned into a quick bicker.

If Sirius had left Grimmuald Place then the situation was awfully severe. From what I took of their argument it seemed that Sirius was in fact being tortured that moment, but we had to somehow check and see if Harry wasn't making it up before flying off to London.

But of course when Hermione said, "And that's where we need Ginny and Luna."

I said, "Yeah, we'll do it." No questions asked, whatever they needed I was up for it, even if I had no clue _what_ was going on.

Ron, Hermione Harry, Luna and I came up with a plan and we were all given tasks to perform at top speed. Luna and I were to clear the corridor before Umbridge's office, so that Harry could sneak in and speak to Sirius though the fireplace. All I needed to understand was that if Harry couldn't get in touch with Sirius then Sirius was in trouble, and just that put a knot in my stomach.

"I'll warn people not to go down there because someone's let off a load of Garroting Gas," I said quickly, everyone looked up at me surprised at either my quick thinking or my unusual idea, "As if Fred and George weren't planning on doing it, it's completely believable."

We broke apart; Harry went to fetch his cloak to sneak inside with Hermione undetected, Luna and I made our way down the corridor, telling as many people as we could to get out of the way, but when we couldn't get their attention and realized they weren't listening, I decided I needed to do something drastic. Or well, loud.

I lifted my wand and sent red sparks flying, the corridor packed with students seemed to freeze, but I was already frustrated, and Merlin, people needed to know better than to ignore Ginny Weasley.

"OI!" I yelled, "IF YOU LOT DON'T QUIT YOUR BLUBBERING, IN ABOUT TWO MINUTES TIME YOUR GOING TO HAVE SO MANY WELTS ON YOUR BODY YOU'LL BE TOO SWOLLEN TO SPEAK ANYWAY!" it was definitely effective; Luna beside me nodded.

"Welts aren't particularity nice, especially in such a strong wackspurt season, they like big swollen ears much more than regular sized ones you know." The students reacted as well as we expected; Luna really was brilliant, only she could shut a room into a shocked awkward silence with one sentence.

"Thank you Luna," I said. "NOW, ALL OF YOU JUST TURN AROUND AND WALK THE OTHER WAY, THIS CORRIDOR IS UNDER THE INLUENCE OF FRED AND GEORGE WEASLEY. THEY SEEM TO THINK THAT THE BLOODY OLD HAG RUNNING THE SCHOOL NOW SHOULD BE WELCOMED INTO HER OFFICE WITH A RATHER INTERESTING SURPRISE."

There were a few murmurs and laughs, but people seemed to get the message. That is, until my heart stopped.

I remember with perfect clarity the tone of that woman's voice, it still sends shivers of hatred down my spine.

"Hem Hem." Every head in the hall turned to face Umbridge who was looking straight at me with the falsest face of sweetness. "Fred and George Weasley are no longer students at this school." She smiled, and came closer, "If I didn't know any better it would seem that you, Miss. Weasley are trying to keep anyone from going past my office. Am I right? Or am I just a _bloody old hag?_" I maybe should have checked that she wasn't anywhere near when I let that slip.

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

"Do not lie, you should know by now my tolerance with liars, it's written right on your hand."

"If you want to go on to risk it and try your luck, don't say I didn't warn you."

The horde of students seemed ready to flee the scene, but the Inquisitorial Squad had just appeared, blocking everyone's way. Umbridge was just about to turn and retreat, believing me, when Neville came up to us, looking rather worried. (Talk about the worst timing possible.)

"Ginny! Have you seen Harry?" he asked looking around, "I haven't seen him since he passed out during our exams."

"Harry Potter?" Umbridge's attention whirled to Neville.

Neville had just noticed her. "I…I…Uh…yes…you…um…Haven't seen him have you Ginny? He…uh…didn't look…good," Neville mumbled and stuttered nervously, his eyes flipping from mine to the new headmistress of our school.

She looked at me, at Neville, and then behind us towards her office. I held back a gulp.

"Neville, I haven't-"

"You children think you're all too smart for me. When I get my hands on that Potter he will be wishing he were with his parents," She snarled, and I took all my restraint not to slap her across the face, instead I said,

"Really, I find it funny how that's just the sort of thing You-Know-Who would say, but you wouldn't know anything about that now would you?"

"Why you little…" her voice raised an octave or two.

"What, blood traitor?"

She took out her wand, as did I, but the moment she saw mine she seemed to realize what she was doing, and pushed me out of the way and moved her peggy little feet towards her office.

"No-" I started but she called from behind her retreating shoulder,

"Get them."

Everyone started screaming as the Inquisitorial Squad moved about the crowd. People ran, pushed and shoved themselves out of the way. I grabbed Luna's hand and dove into the moving swarm. I got stepped on, and my hair was pulled but there was nowhere else to go. That was until I felt a rather rough hand grab my arm, pulling me back.

I fought against it but it was too strong.

Someone had grabbed Luna too; I could see her struggling through the corner of my eye.

"Ginny!" I heard Neville call.

"Let go of me," I yelled at the Slytherin who was pushing me around.

Neville came up then and started trying to get the person off of me. It turned into an all out struggle as someone grabbed Neville as well, it was Crabbe. The girl holding me was about twice my size but I wasn't giving up that easy. We needed to help out, not be slammed in eternal detention.

The Slytherins dragged us into Umbridge's office; Ron had appeared suddenly fighting off yet another green robed git. Umbridge had Harry by his hair, and Malfoy was grinning wildly by the window sill. Hermione was pinned against the wall.

"Got them all," said one of the Slytherins, he seemed to be one of the heads of the squad. "_That _one," he poked a finger at Neville, "Tried to stop me taking _her._ So I brought him along too."

As he said this I was desperately trying my hardest to kick the large girl in the shin, but it wasn't working out so well.

"Good, good," said Umbridge, watching me, "Well it looks like Hogwarts will shortly be a Weasley-free zone, doesn't it?"

I stopped my leg at once, looking up at her in complete shock. Malfoy was laughing hysterically behind me but I couldn't do a single thing about it. They had taken my wand.

It got nasty as she interrogated Harry, accusing him of trying to speak with Dumbledore who had fled the school not to be seen since. No matter what she said he refused. It felt too surreal to be there, rather than hear about it later, seeing and witnessing the action was far more frightening than it sounded.

It didn't take long for Umbridge to decide to use an unforgivable on him to make him talk, once Snape had left saying that there wasn't any more Veritaserum and after Harry had desperately tried to communicate with Snape in code.

"He's got Padfoot!" Harry yelled, and though I was sure that Severus Snape knew exactly what Harry meant he acted as if Harry was speaking from another planet. How I hated that man back then.

He left the room and she came up with her resolve, _what the minister didn't know won't hurt him,_ she had said, and no matter how much Hermione pleaded she wouldn't hear of it. Umbridge had even admitted to sending the Dementors on Harry that past summer, the reason he was almost expelled.

Her wand pointed at Harry, Malfoy with a hungry look in his eyes, she began to pronounce the incantation, but then Hermione stepped in, setting our plan back into motion.

"NO! No- Harry-Harry we have to tell her." I turned to her disbelief in my eyes: surrender- just like that? Turn Sirius and the rest of the Order in? Rather than figure a way out of it ourselves?

That wasn't-still isn't- how we worked.

I was about to question her sanity, but then, Hermione rambled about a weapon that Dumbledore was supposedly keeping on the grounds, and I knew what she was up to. Umbridge led Hermione and Harry out of her office forcing them to show her where it was.

The moment the door shut behind them, we all started struggling again.

"LET HER GO!" Ron roared, as the big girl twisted my arm painfully.

"Well, you wouldn't know how long I've waited for this," Malfoy stepped in from of me, "The weasels, finally being exterminated."

"When we get out of here Malfoy you are going to wish you were never born a wizard!" I spat.

"How dare you talk to me weaslette? Aren't you a bit young to be in such a mess?"

"You're a right foul git, you and your entire damned family!"

Malfoy sneered and walked over to Neville; I was breathing heavily with rage when Luna leaned closer to me, and saying so softly that not even the people holding us could hear. "What is she doing?"

She was speaking if Hermione of course, "Improvising."

And we were going to follow her lead, somehow.

And we did, it all happened so fast I don't exactly remember every detail but I managed to reach into the robes of the girl who was holding me and stunned her. Ron over powered the Slytherin, grabbing him because everyone in the room was so shocked at what I'd done, that's when we took our chance.

Luna disarmed most everyone in three shots, and Neville impressed us with a sweet jinx, sending prats all over the room. "Where did they go?" Ron asked.

"I watched them walk out of the castle into the forest," Luna replied, gazing out the window.

"Ok let's go," Neville turned to lead us out of the office but we found Malfoy and two others behind him, wands out and angered.

I wanted to laugh, I almost did but we didn't have time for that, Hermione and Harry were out there with Umbridge as we spoke and who knew how long that toad would fall for her story. I didn't want to think about what would have happened if she figured it out, she had no limits.

So instead I warned him, "I wouldn't do that if I were you, it's three against four."

"Well, I guess you can say that, but considering it's Longbottom, Loony and two Weasley's…"

"That's not very wise of you, have you forgotten that we have _actually_ been studying Defense Against the Darks Arts this year? Training under Harry himself?"

The two boys behind him dropped their wands a bit looking more nervous after realizing the fact, but Malfoy kept a straight face. I knew he was only faking.

"Potter? Please what does he have to teach you? Nothing."

"Really? How much do you want to bet?"

Apparently the other two weren't going to bet much, for they ran out with little yelps like the cowards they were.

Malfoy looked behind him growing paler if that was possible but his wand didn't waver. He gulped, and we all took a step forward, we could have taken him easily, right then and there but I got the feeling everyone was enjoying it a little more than we should have.

"Well, don't say we didn't warn you Malfoy."

"I'm not scared of you Weasley."

"If not me," I said shrugging, "Then my wand."

I hit him with my Bat-Bogey Hex. I had mastered it finally, and it was impressively efficient. I won't lie, it was rather a gruesome sight to see Draco Malfoy being attacked by his own bogeys but neither of us looked away. In fact we laughed, it almost seemed impossible to laugh at a time like that but there we were; I started to feel like there was hope again, even though I knew we were running out of time. He ran away screaming and I was surprised with my own magic, I felt smug and proud, but I didn't show it.

"Hurry!" We rushed out the door and down the corridors, past hundreds of students watching in wonder as we went. I was so proud that finally I was part of the scene rather than starring in question from a distance like the people were then. When we made it out of the castle Harry and Hermione were still nowhere to be seen, until we encountered on the outskirts of the forest.

Umbridge had been taken off by the magical creatures; I never gave it a second thought. The next problem was figuring out how to get to London, apparently Harry's vision of Sirius had taken place at the Ministry. But when brooms was mentioned I spoke up,

"I have a broom!" Harry's was locked up so I thought it would have been a good suggestion, but I didn't expect, especially after all that had happened, after all I'd done to help, that I would get the response I did.

"Yeah but you're not coming," Ron said.

"Excuse me, but I happen to care as much about Sirius as you do!"

"You're too-" Harry began but I saw where it was going way before I could even think about letting him finish, and it made me furious.

"I'm three years older than you were when you fought You-Know-Who over the Sorcerer's Stone," I argued fiercely, "And it's because of me that Malfoy's back in Umbridge's office with giant flying bogeys attacking him-"

"Yea but-" Harry lost his argument in the end, we all ended up coming with him, we were in it together is what we always told him. And he decided against wasting time to fight the inevitable.

We rode on the thestrals, I won't say it was the most frightening experience but it came pretty darn close. Honestly I never thought twice about getting on a broom stick, dives and all, but at least in that case I could _see _the broom, then, I was apparently riding on the back of a hideous creature only visible to witnesses of death. I couldn't see it yet.

But I would, soon enough.

The rush of being in the air again, the adrenaline of the matter at hand, had my stomach thrilling even though I was very aware that Sirius was in danger.

When we reached London, I gratefully dismounted whatever I was on. I had only been to the ministry on a few occasions with my father, but I knew that the circumstances were much higher. We all crammed into the telephone box entrance and descended, silently. I remember being so surprised at the event, it wasn't at all what I imagined a typical Harry, Ron, Hermione adventure to be like.

We got to the door at some point, the door I know now to be the entrance to the Department of Mysteries, but Harry seemed hesitant. I could tell he had been there before, his look on his face was dazed almost; I realized it must have been in his dream about my father. Only it took sometime after that to realize it was so much more.

"Okay, listen," he said within six feet of the door, I couldn't tell if he was just trying to prolong the moment- I found it highly doubtful, but he still stopped to speak to us, "Maybe…maybe a couple of people should stay here as a- as a look out-"

No- he was still just trying to stop us from accompanying him, "And how are we going to let you know something's coming?" I asked, "You could be miles away."

He gave up and we made our way into the circular room on the other side of the door. Everything was so quiet, so eerie, just like a dream, all the doors around us moved vastly confusing us; I don't think I had ever felt so lost, so hopeless, and I could only imagine what Harry was feeling.

He was just as stumped as I felt so he did what we had to do, started trying random doors. Our mission was to find Sirius and get out. We had no idea of how to execute that, where to start or where to go, we were all just flying blindly. Harry Potter at the lead, and I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else. When I was a little girl I would always say silly things like following Harry to the end of the earth, and at that point I almost wanted to laugh at the memory. Did everything I said _have_ to come true?

To this day I wouldn't be able to make sense of what lay in the Department of Mysteries, hence the name, but there are things that are hard to forget, like the archway. I have had many dreams of that one room in particular where that crumbling ancient archway stood warily. That curtain- or veil whatever it was- fluttering, even though there was no wind. I was in a trance; I could see I wasn't the only one. Hermione had to drag me away as well as Neville.

Then there was the room with the prophecies.

"This is it!" Harry said in relief. There were hundreds of thousands glimmering white orbs, but what should have been such a bright intriguing room was nothing less than a cold basin of eeriness. I could sense something was wrong. The room went on for what seemed like miles but what was beyond the shelves, whatever lay in the corners, was unbeknownst to us.

As Harry led the way we saw that each row was numbered. "You said it was row ninety-seven," Hermione whispered. I looked up; we were only at fifty three. I kept close to Luna, who was actually more serious and concentrated then I had ever seen her before. Our breathing and our steps were the only sounds I recall; I had never realized how tense Harry Ron and Hermione were in these situations. I was frightened, naturally, but I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be frightened of.

"Keep your wands out." That came from Harry, though why he thought we would have put them away I have no idea. We kept moving onward, and I checked behind us every few feet, looking for what- I still don't know.

"He should be right down at the end." Harry started moving faster, excited, anxious. But as I looked ahead I saw nothing but the same dim glow from our wands and the orbs.

"Anywhere near here…" he sounded as though he was just trying to convince himself, I couldn't see Sirius anywhere. I saw all the doubt in Hermione's eyes, there was nothing, Harry was wrong.

"Harry," she said.

"What!" he snapped.

"I don't think Sirius is here." No one spoke, Neville was biting his lip, and I looked around row ninety seven, still looking for my friend. It was so quiet for so long, he was contemplating whether we should go back to school or stay and search, I didn't know what I wanted to do, I was just beginning to feel hopeless again.

Then Ron found an orb with Harry's name on it.

And this is where the story of Harry Potter, _the Chosen One_ begins.

Harry stepped closer to Ron, to see for himself.

"I don't think you should touch it," said Hermione, Neville Luna and I were trying to see what it said from where we were.

Harry didn't listen, and as he picked up the small ball there was a still moment where we all expected something great to happen, something eye opening that would explain the mess in which we found ourselves.

The only thing that happened was Lucius Malfoy stepping out of the darkness.

"Very Good Potter. Now turn around, nice and slowly, and give that to me."

We all turned swiftly tight up against each other, and suddenly the only thing I knew was that I was scared out of my mind. We were surrounded; all these hooded people came out of nowhere to point their wands straight at us, and I couldn't help but let out a gasp. The back of my neck started to drip, even though the room was abnormally icy. There was an argument, Malfoy wanted that prophecy from Harry and he wanted it bad, I didn't really listen because I was waiting on Harry's signal.

He was so composed; I watched in awe at how he could stare death in the face and still have dignity to play back. He kept talking to Lucius, and I knew Harry couldn't just pass that thing over. It would have been too much a risk.

Then there was _that_ woman, my very first encounter with Bellatrix Lestrange. I would hate her and I will still hate her until the day I die, you can have my life on it. She was so wild; it was always just a game to her. Lives of people were just little pieces she could handle and use to her advantage. Malfoy seemed to be getting frustrated with her, but all she cared about was what was in Harry's hands.

"You need more persuasion then?" she asked when Harry refused yet again. "Very well-take the smallest one," she ordered the hooded figured around us. "Let him watch while we torture the little girl. I'll do it."

I barley had a second to realize what was happening: one moment all the people moved towards me and the next Harry was standing right in front of me, one hand still clutching the prophecy, the other behind his back grabbing mine. I didn't even have the chance to feel fear. I knew Harry wouldn't let anything happen; I got all that reassurance from his touch. "You'll have to smash this if you want to attack any of us," he spat back at her.

There was more dangerous banter, but it was so long ago it was all lost to the nerves and sadness of that night, they started speaking of Voldemort, and apparently he was the one who needed the ball.

Bellatrix was the first to curse at us, but we dodged it and it landed on some of the other orbs, that came down with a crash.

"DO NOT ATTACK! WE NEEDTHAT PROPHECY!"

"You haven't told me what's so special about this Lucius."

Malfoy raised an eyebrow, his thin lips trying to hide his amusement, "Has Dumbledore never told you that the secret to your scar laid in the Department of Mysteries?"

That's when I realized Harry was communicating with Hermione.

"What?" Harry turned all his attention back to Malfoy. The death eaters began to laugh at this, I didn't know why, but Harry used that distraction to whisper, "Smash Shelves," to us. "When I say go."

We waited, prepared for Harry's go. I stood tall and met eyes with Bellatirx making sure she knew I was not one to back down. She smiled at me, and it chilled me more than the room did.

"Someone made a prophecy about Voldemort and me?" Harry asked. "Why couldn't he just come down and get this himself?"

"The Dark Lord walk into the ministry of magic?" she laughed.

But that's when Harry yelled, "NOW!"

Everyone turned on their heels and yelled, "_Reducto!"_

The prophecies all started to sway, and people just froze to stare in shock, "RUN!" and we did. We ran altogether with thousand of glass orbs smashing to the ground around us. Somehow my feet kept going, the adrenaline making me feel something I had never even dreamed of. We ran.

I was with Luna and Ron and at some point and we were all separated, I heard yells and curses, whenever I spotted a flash of black I would stun and jinx with the first thing that came to my mind.

A rather large man appeared before Ron, knocking him to the ground, I sent a stunner but he blocked it easily, only it was three against one. Luna got him unexpectedly from the back sending him crashing harshly into the nearest shelf. I grabbed Ron's hand and we kept moving. I started to worry about finding the others, _what if someone was hurt?_

"We need to find Hermione," Ron said taking the lead, I nodded.

"Right behind you." We were in another room then, they all blended together, one whirl wind of confusion and color. That room had all the planets floating around the sun, it was a rather peculiar sight, like some kind of gigantic model of the universe taking up the entire room. Had we been there any other day I would have gladly stayed to see it some more, but at the exact moment we paused three death eaters entered the room behind us shutting the door.

"Now," one of them said, "No more games of tag children, you are all coming with us."

"Go to hell," said Ron. It was so dark; I could hardly see Luna standing right beside me.

"Hide behind Jupiter," I whispered, and she nodded succeeding in sneaking off unnoticed.

"Weren't there three of you just now?" one of the death eaters asked, coming closer. Ron stepped in front of me but I pushed him aside.

"I think you all just might be mental."

_"STUPEFY!"_ Ron yelled at one of them, and we both split form where we were standing dashing under two of the models, the curse hit the shorter man.

"You can't hide! _IMPEDIMENTA!"_ he shouted missing me by inches.

_"PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!"_ I cried back, watching the white light escape my wand but it was no use.

I heard the other death eater cry out a curse I had never heard before and Ron screamed in agony, I turned my head reflexively allowing the death eater after me to grab my ankle.

"Let GO!" I yell trying to get further beneath Pluto. But he only grabbed harder and I heard my bone crack, at first I didn't feel the pain, the rush of adrenaline over powered it.

I slightly saw Luna explode the planet above me while I covered my face with my arms. The man holding my foot had no chance, he didn't see her coming. I stood and ran awkwardly towards the nearest door, knowing they were both behind me; I fell out of the door, as a sudden jolt of sharp pain reached my foot. I landed with a thud at Harry's feet, the sharp nail being dug into my foot pushed its way up to my knee, or at least that's what I felt like. The pain was all I could think about.

"Ginny- are you all-?"

Ron started speaking some rubbish but I couldn't listen enough to try and make sense of it.

"Gin?" Harry voice asked fearfully, "What happened?"

I could only shake my head, the pain was to sharp and intense to speak, I slid to the floor grabbing my throbbing ankle.

"It think her ankle it broken, I heard something crack. They chased us into this room. One of them grabbed Ginny's foot, I used Reducto to blast Pluto into his face." I could only imagine Harry's face with Luna's explanation. I could _only_ imagine, however, because I had closed my eyes and was trying to control the pain.

"Luna can you help Ginny?"

"Yes," she reached down to grab me, but I had enough.

"It's only my ankle! I can do it myself!" But when I stood my damned body betrayed me, and thankfully Luna caught me before I hit the ground. We managed to make it back to the room with the veil and Luna sat me in the corner, unseen in the dark, the death eaters closed around Harry suddenly, and I was stuck, paralyzed where I sat. It was hardly fair.

But like light conquering darkness, it wasn't long after Sirius, Lupin, Mad-eye, Tonks and Kingsley came in with a rather impressive entrance. Harry still had the prophecy tightly grasped in his hand.

The battle before me was something I still can't get out of my head, streaming lights of color flashing miles a minute, people falling, flying, apparating, swift movements and incredible form. These were the members of the Order of the Phoenix, and Harry fit right in. He seemed so in tune with Sirius as they fought side by side. As the rest of us huddled together I couldn't keep my eyes off him; his magic was so quick to strong.

Things changed quickly, we were being moved, the prophecy broke into nothing and Dumbledore arrived. The pain in my leg was increasing by the moment, and by that time Ron had lost it; he was giggling at the shinny colors and Luna was watching Sirius.

"Luna," I gasped through the pain, "What is it?" She tilted her head to the side.

I followed her gaze, watching Sirius too when suddenly a green light came from Bellatrix's wand; it hit him squared in the chest.

As quickly as everything turned to a rush, everything slowed to a halt. I gasped and thought of the pain that must have cause him, but I was waiting for him to shoot something back.

He didn't.

He just stood there a baffled expression on his face. Harry turned to Bellatirx with an odd look of disbelief in his face. I tried to remember what curse she used, I listened to hear if maybe it would come back to me…Ava-something…Avada…

And then all the pain from my ankle disappeared as the blood fell from my face. I turned back to Sirius just in time to see him slowly fall back, dead weight, into the veil. Harry watched, frozen, and Lupin stopped what he was doing.

Bellatrix smiled.

And all I saw was the bright green of the curse etched in my memory.

"Come on Sirius…." I whispered. "Get up….get up..." he didn't. And I had no more words in my mouth, there was a buzzing in my ear.

I felt nothing.

I didn't even hear Harry's scream of terror.

Then he was running, he passed me and Ron and all I could say was, "Harry-what-?" before he was gone again.

Sirius couldn't be dead. He just couldn't.

It's painful to summon up these memories, harder to write them down even, but the last while we stayed down in the Ministry was all blurred, all I knew, all I felt, was Sirius.

Lupin's expression confirmed it. He was dead.

As always the first step is denial, and like Harry I didn't want to believe it was true. Soon after Harry ran out of the room, everything went dark and quiet. And it made it easy to pretend that nothing had just happened, that Sirius would walk through those doors again, and I made myself believe he would. Hermione was still out cold, and Ron was rocking back and forth. Luna sat next to me, allowing me to lean on her for support, and Neville was hunched over Hermione, wiping blood off his face.

"Is it over?" Luna whispered.

"I… don't… know," I replied, with no emotion in my voice. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the veil. Somewhere in the distance we heard a blood curdling scream. But no one commented.

"There you lot are!" Tonks appeared right next to me bending down to meet my level. "Ginny! Guess I'm not surprised that you found your way into this, what's going on here?" she said gesturing to Ron and Hermione. I could see something was wrong, she wasn't smiling and there wasn't any light in her eyes. Her usually bright pink hair was deep, dark and depressing.

"Tonks what's happening?"

"We don't have time Ginny." Lupin came up behind her.

"The hell we don't! Where's Sirius?" Tonks looked away.

"He's dead Ginny," Remus finally said.

I tried to act as though I was fine, not letting the pain show, "What's happening with Harry?" I persisted though it seemed he didn't want to waste time telling us what we wanted to know.

"Remus it won't hurt to let them know, they've been through so much already."

"Well then up! All of you let's go. We need to get you back to the school."

I wrapped one arm around Luna's shoulders and Tonks clued in, helping me with my other side. Neville helped Ron up and Lupin picked up Hermione.

"You-Know-Who is here." Tonks said.

Neville paled considerably, almost dropping Ron.

"But… but Harry!" I exclaimed. If he was caught, he had faced him three times before, what were the chances of him surviving it again? My stomach twisted as I fought a sudden wave of nausea. We made it to the corridor just outside the room with the veil.

Lupin nodded. "I know. Dumbledore is with him, Harry has Dumbledore." I didn't miss the deep sorrow in his voice. I knew no one was to say anymore on the matter. No one was going to speak. I turned my head as much as I could behind be to steal one last glance at the veil where I last saw him.

Harry may have had Dumbledore but he didn't have Sirius.

And it may have been our fault.

Madam Pomfrey didn't start letting us out until two days after we arrived from the Ministry. Once we sat through the story of Harry's latest encounter with Voldemort, or well _Tom_ to me, and how he was brutally possessed she said that the post traumatic stress would hit us soon. And of course she wanted us there when it happened rather than around other unprepared students.

However I had a feeling she didn't realize who she was talking to, we were all used to this sort of thing, maybe not Luna or Neville; Ron Hermione and I had seen worse. That didn't free us though and as though all odds were against me I was the last to be released due to my broken ankle. We all knew Madam Pomfrey could mend a broken bone in a heartbeat, but she hung onto that excuse for as long as possible.

"Well, we're off," Ron said as he and Hermione stood from their cots.

"Yeah, yeah, be free," I sighed.

Ron walked over to me with his hands in his pockets, "Do you need anything? You want us to go get you some real food?"

"Nah, I'll leave that to mom when she gets here."

"Are you sure?" Hermione asked.

"I'll be fine, go find Harry." They both smiled reluctantly and left.

I was glad, because even though I was fairing with the so called post traumatic stress fairly, I still wasn't okay, I needed to be alone so that no one would see just how upset I was. Sirius was gone, and he wasn't coming back. The only one who would actually listen to me- aside from Hermione. The one who made me laugh and feel important; my friend.

I had told him everything about the Chamber, though I had never told anyone else, and everything I told him died with him. It now only rested with Harry. No matter how I tried, the vision of Sirius' intrepid fall into the veil, disappearing from our sight forever would not escape my mind. A terrible ending to a terrible year.

"Hey Ginny," came a chirpy voice from the entrance of the hospital wing. I quickly composed myself and turned to face Michael rather crossly.

"Michael."

"How's it going?"

"How's it going?" I retorted, "_How's it going_? I've been in this bed for the last two days, where have you been all this time?"

He came closer, as though he hadn't a worry in the world. Which he didn't. "Um… well I was just down at the pitch with the Ravenclaw team. They're really shaping up; trust me we won't be losing to Gryffindor again."

"Is that really all you care about?" I asked annoyed.

"No…but Cho…she's well…" oh of course she was still hanging around.

"Do you even know what's happened? The Dark Lord has returned and this time there's even more physical proof, so you can't doubt it this time Michael, there are more important things to worry about!"

He stopped walking, "Yeah and you went with Potter and his little elite group to try to do something heroic. I'm guessing you're going to hold that over me now too?" The sarcasm in his voice was insulting.

"You don't have any idea what you're talking about! You haven't seen, you don't know what or why we were there, so don't judge me! Sirius-" I stopped dead.

It hit me like a full speed bludger, I couldn't say anything. Just like I hadn't for years, I couldn't speak of the Diary, not only because it hurt but because there were so many secrets involved, I couldn't tell a single soul that I knew where Sirius Black was, that would have killed him instantly. I couldn't even say that he died in our attempt to save him. I knew I would never trust Michael enough to explain any of that to him, so what was the point in continuing a relationship that was doomed without trust?

"God fine! This is what I get for dating a Gryffindor."

I raised an eyebrow. "Well I'm glad you feel that way, because you won't have to deal with _dating a Gryffindor_ any longer. Just get out Michael, go find Cho or something." I really didn't care at that point.

"You know what? I will." And he turned to walk out the door, I felt a bit relieved, he was turning out to be a pain in my side. When he opened the door we were both surprised to see Professor Dumbledore standing on the other side just about to enter.

"Ahh, Mr. Corner," he said, "Do have a good day."

Michael looked back at me with wide eyes, I gave him no expression. He turned back to the Headmaster, "Yes Professor," he nodded and continued out to the corridor.

No matter how long I would know Dumbledore I would never cease to be in awe at how simply majestic and mysterious he could be. Sometimes I felt like he wasn't even real, he was just a figment of my imagination spewing wisdom into every dark corner he comes across. He walked towards my bed.

"Good afternoon Professor."

He watched my steadily for a moment but then replied, "Better than most Miss. Weasley."

I averted my gaze; I knew that was his way of telling me that everything was and would be ok, that things could have ended much worse, and all the other generic clichés. But he had a way with twisting everything into new ways that will have you pondering your intelligence for days, as well as your sanity.

But everything was not ok. Sirius was dead.

When he made it to the foot of my bed I spoke again, "You've only just missed them, they were released today, but Harry was let go last night and no one has seen him since."

His eyes narrowed behind his iconic spectacles, "What makes you think that I am here to see you brother and Mrs. Granger?"

My head tilted a little, "Why else would you be here Sir?"

"Didn't you consider that maybe I was here to see you?"

I could only blush at this, "I guess not."

"Well I did." He looked down at my healed, yet bandaged ankle. "How are you feeling?"

"Perfect, Madam Pomfrey fixed me up in no time, but she still won't let me leave."

"Rest is important, I trust you know that."

"Yes professor."

There was a moment of silence. "But _you _Miss. Weasley, how are _you _feeling?"

It wasn't surprising that he would use such cryptic language, I couldn't remember a time when he didn't speak in such ways. I saw where that conversation was headed.

"I'm just fine." I lied.

He nodded once and sat in the chair beside my bed where my mother had previously been. "Miss. Weasley, I had a very close relationship with Sirius Black, I'm not sure if you knew that, but I was the only person he would talk to after he was rescued. He trusted me when he had no one else, only Remus."

I smiled with no happiness in it, he had to go and bring up Sirius two minutes into the conversation. "I don't find that very hard to believe, you're the most trusted man I know."

His eyes twinkled, "You'd be surprised that not many people would agree with that, but thank you, nevertheless." He paused for a moment and then continued, "I had a long conversation with him just recently- just before the Ministry- had I known it would be our last I would have done things differently." It was suddenly hard for me to swallow. "Sirius was very fond of you, you know."

"I figured," I managed.

He patted my hand, "It's alright to miss him; I can't believe you wouldn't be sad right now, by the way he spoke, it seemed you were very close to him as well."

I looked down to my hand, steadied myself and spoke, "I'm no Harry, but he was a great friend to me, we were close and…and I miss him so much."

"We shouldn't hide what we feel, there's no point, especially when all feelings are mutual."

I watched him with a blank face, "Have you tried that on Harry?"

Dumbledore smirked, "Ahh yes, Sirius did speak much about you, of course I've always known this of you since the incident three years ago, but he said it was one of your finer qualities. Yet, something he worried about."

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"Mrs. Weasley, isn't it true you hate to show any kind of weakness?" If I didn't want to talk about Sirius then this was the second thing I least wanted to talk about. Yes that was obviously true but it sounded different in his words. He waited patiently for my reply.

"Someone has to keep it together right?"

"You have a point. But we all have faults, we all show weakness; it is how we learn about ourselves, through the darkest of times."

I nodded, "But professor, during those times, like now, we have to keep moving don't we? We can't look back now with this war starting we can't break apart! That's what he wants isn't it?"

"That's exactly what he wants, yes." I sat a bit stunned at his blunt response.

"He doesn't want us to have one moment of peace, one moment of happiness, and I think he's doing a good job of that Sir."

Dumbledore raised his chin. "Miss, Weasley, a foolish man sees happiness in the distance, but a wise man grows it under his feet."

Again I stayed quiet as I took in his meaning, he truly was a brilliant man, but I was determined. "I should be easier to make your own happiness."

He squeezed my arm, "If only, but it isn't healthy to dwell on what isn't."

"So I won't."

He smiled at my response and I decided he would see through my bastion front anyway. "Professor, I miss him more than anything," I whispered.

"As do many." With that he sat back and reached for something in his robes, "Sirius left all his belongings and inheritance to Harry."

"That's wonderful," I said softly wondering why he would bother telling me such a thing.

"However, there was one item that was not accounted for, it doesn't have any importance, but I didn't have the heart to dispose of it. I thought he'd like you to have it."

When Dumbledore opened his hand, it was all I could do not to gasp. It was his chain; the one Sirius wore beneath his clothing every day. Sirius had shown it to me once when I spotted it, a simple silver chain with a silhouette of a dog that resembled his animagus.

"A very masculine statement," I teased him the summer before. But now I felt the irony playing with me, now it was the biggest statement of all.

"Ginny?"

My head snapped up, Dumbledore had never called me that. "I asked you if you wanted to keep it."

I couldn't help but feel my eyes sting, I was about to break and if front of Albus Dumbledore no less, I didn't dare speak, so I nodded.

The moment it touched my palm my strength dissolved and my tears burst, I couldn't breathe. The silver was so beautiful, so simple but a forever reminder of how much we lost. My sobs shook me as I closed my hand around it; there was no point in gaining composure anymore.

One of my closest friends had been murdered right in front of me, he was gone and I was here in a hospital bed completely healed, where was the justice in that? How could we find happiness if the odds were always against us? Dumbledore said nothing as I cried, just sat with his hand still resting on my arm, somehow he knew what I was thinking,

"We must try." I didn't even bother to ask how he knew. I had long adjusted to the mystery of Albus Dumbledore. "Trying never hurts, the only thing that does, is giving up," he sighed, but for some odd reason the newly found mischief in his eyes made me realize the double meaning in his words, giving up trying to be happy obviously hurts because the only thing that comes out of it is pain and sorrow. But what else could he mean? What else am I giving up on? "Yes Miss. Weasley, he told me very much about you."

I looked up at him as he stood, finally understanding what he meant. "Well as it seems, Harry does in fact need someone right now, I'm not sure if I'm the right person for that but I will have to try until someone else comes along," he didn't even bother making his glance at me not obvious. Sirius must have told him _everything. _

"Thank you Professor," I called to his when he made his leave.

"You're very welcome."

The moment he left I tied the chain around my neck.

We were all on the train home in no time and it seemed that though we all had long ways to go we were acting like we were pulling ourselves up out of the mess hoping it would all be ok. It was an eventful trip. With the whole D.A. standing up to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle, they were slugs by the time we were done with them. But Neville, Hermione, Ron, Harry and I found ourselves in a compartment for the longer portion of the ride.

"Hey, Harry," Ron nodded to the door. I looked up from _the Quibbler _I was reading and saw Cho walking past the window. I rolled my eyes but sought out Harry he looked but then went back to the chess game he was playing with Ron, clearly not interested in her.

I lowered my magazine a bit.

"What's-er-going on with you and her anyway?" asked Ron.

"Nothing." I could tell he was being truthful, and it didn't seem like he was all that bothered either. I wish I could say my heart didn't pick up in speed, but I'd be lying. I tried to concentrate on the page before me, knowing well that the conversation wasn't any of my business.

"I-er-heard she's going out with someone else now." Hermione put down her newspaper, and as I put two and two together.

I wasn't going to say anything.

"You're well out of it mate." My brother clapped him on the back, Harry didn't seem affected by this information at all, and it was a good thing too, he shouldn't have to worry about her anymore. She didn't deserve a second thought. "I think you'd want someone a bit more cheerful."

_Cheers to that Ron_.

Harry shrugged and made a play, "She's probably cheerful enough with someone else."

It wasn't my place to say anything.

"Who is she with now anyway?" Ron asked.

Who was I kidding? I couldn't resist.

"Michael Corner," I said glad that my brother gave me perfect entrance to the topic.

"Michael-but-," Ron turned to me, "But I thought you were going out with him!"

"Not anymore. He didn't like Gryffindor beating Ravenclaw at Quidditch and got really sulky, so I ditched him and he ran off to comfort Cho instead."

I acted interested in my magazine again, pretending not to see Ron's over the moon face. "I always thought he was a bit of an idiot," he said, "Good for you. Just chose someone-better-next time." And there it was again, that thoughtful look I hadn't seen in years, not since Fred and George were joking around the night they took Harry from the Dursley's, I couldn't forget it, this time his eyes slipped over to Harry. Gosh my brother was so odd!

"Well I've chosen Dean Thomas, would you say that's better?" Not that I cared one bit what he thought.

"WHAT?"

I just ignored him and went back to what I was reading, every now and again touching the chain around my neck.


	13. Definitions of Phlegm and Feelings

Definitions of Phlegm and Feelings

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

"_Set me free,  
>Leave me be,<br>I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity_

_Here I am,_

_And I stand, so tall_

_Just the way I'm supposed to be,_

_But you're onto me_

_and all over me…"  
>Sara Barellies, Gravity<em>

There comes a time in one's life when things change in a way you would never expect. These moments can happen so suddenly and so vigorously that when you realize the change, it might be too late to do anything about it.

I remember the exact moment I felt I was over the infamous Harry Potter.

Yes, you read right.

It didn't take long for me to start dating Dean Thomas when my relationship with Michael ended; I wasn't really saddened by it at all- _that break-up_-I barely blinked. He could have her and they could be happy together forever for all I cared. I just found it funny how the only time I was ever so broken was because of a boy I never had in the first place.

Dean was sweet, clingy, but sweet. He took a real interest to me when I emerged from the hospital wing; he walked me to my last classes of term, offering to hold my books because he didn't want me to add any unnecessary weight onto my fragile ankle. He made me feel wanted and good enough, he was comfortable and I enjoyed my time with him until we had to leave school for yet another summer.

That was the best summer of my life.

Before Harry arrived at the Burrow I tried not to worry about him too, too much, though of course it was impossible. But every time I would think of him, it hurt because he reminded me so much of Sirius. I knew it was selfish but Sirius was the only person ever who actually gave me the time of day, listened to me, valued my opinion and didn't think of me as a silly little girl. I missed him terribly. It was _extremely _selfish; Harry must have been hurting even more.

Each time I picked up a quill to write to him, I'd get stuck, sad or doubtful and walk away. Not only because I was trying desperately trying to cope with the fact that we were still only friends, but because I didn't think he'd want to hear what I had to say. There were so many things I could tell him, but I couldn't bring myself to write them down.

I finally got it in mid July.

_**Harry,**_

_** Writing this letter was much harder than I thought it would be, with all that's happened we both know that words aren't going to fix any of it. But you know that won't stop me from trying. I hope you're doing well, hopefully the muggles are treating you right, they should know better by now not to cross you. I'm sure you hate being away from us, your rightful world, but it's probably for the best, you need to sort yourself out. **_

_** Dumbledore told me once that time heals all wounds, I hope he was right because at the moment I'm missing Sirius terribly. I know it couldn't even compare to how much you do, but know that you're not alone in this. And as much as I got to know Sirius, he wouldn't want us mopping around, so you better not be doing that Potter, because then that means I have to mope too, and I'd rather just think about all the times he made me laugh and told me I reminded him of your mum. I think about all the stories he told me about him and your father and the trouble that followed them everywhere, whenever I start to miss him.**_

_** I'm sorry that you didn't get to spend as much time with him last summer as I did but he absolutely loved to talk about you. He loved you so much Harry. As does everyone. **_

_** And don't worry, I'll tell you all the stories one day, just tell me when.**_

_** Try to stay out of trouble. **_

_** Wow I can't believe I wasted ink asking Harry Potter to stay out of trouble.**_

_** You know you want to smile. **_

_** Gin**_

Yes I still remember that letter, I see it all that time, but little did I know that it was the start of something huge. Friendship maybe? I wouldn't know yet.

It utterly surprised me when he replied.

Ron went to the window to let Hedwig in before yelling, "Hermione! Harry's sent a letter!"

I looked up from my book in the sitting room to Ron who was in the kitchen- naturally. He pulled the letter off her ankle as she settled herself on the window sill.

"What did you say Ronald? Screaming up three flights of stairs isn't going to help anything if I'm not going to be able to-" the sound of Hermione's voice floated into the room as she came down the stairs, but it stopped when she saw the parchment in Ron's hands and Hedwig. "Harry? He wrote?" They didn't give him enough credit, sure he was in a bad place at the time but it wouldn't have been a miracle if we would just jump back up from it, it would have been a very Harry thing to do, not let anyone see him suffer and keeping up pretenses that he was "fine."

"Yea," said Ron who still hadn't opened the letter, rather he was staring at it as though it had just grown three legs. "But not to us."

"Not to us?" Hermione asked, "Then to who?"

"Ginny."

I stood up without a word and went over to pluck the envelope out of his frozen hand, "Thank you." I walked out of the room leaving the both of them stunned in their spots.

I made my way to my room making sure to close the door behind me. Of course I still remember the letter, and if you're shocked at this then you obviously still don't know me. The envelope only contained my name in his script, and the parchment was almost blank.

_Thanks. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply but it's because some part of me knows you're right, but the other part doesn't want to admit it yet. It means a lot, and I won't forget, I have a feeling I'll be needing them someday._

_ I promise._

It was short and to the point but coming from Harry at such a time…it was special.

We were both so blind that following year; we wasted more time than I care to admit.

It wasn't too long after that, that Harry graced us with his presence at the Burrow. That was the summer a certain French hag was driving me mad. Fleur Delacour made her way back into our lives in full force, engaged to my brother Bill. They had known each other for a year at work yet the news came as a shock. Fleur's superior attitude constantly had me reaching for my wand. One Bat-Bogey hex and she would learn her lesson.

"No, No! I 'ave eet!" she said one morning as I started cracking eggs. Whipping out her wand, they were suddenly cracking themselves.

"No, I had it! Honestly there was no need," I told her with my voice drowning in false sweetness.

I turned to the sausages on the frying pan and began to tend to them, only to have them flipping themselves in a matter of seconds. "Fleur. I am perfectly capable of making breakfast by myself." I turned to the girl.

Sure she was dazzlingly beautiful and striking, she was skillful enough to land herself in the Triwizard Tournament, and yes she had that French mystic going for her, but her personality was as soft as a Hungarian Horntail. Bill could have done so much better.

"No! Ze' little children ou' can't do magic at 'ome shouldn't make meals! You should be upstairs wiz you're dolls!"

"I am fifteen years old and I do not need you telling me what to do, or what _not_ to do. I have my mother for that." I spat.

She came closer, sending her blonde shimmering hair behind her shoulder, and pat me on the head.

"No, do not get so worked up, young angered girls aren't very attractive. Do not fuss _mon amie_." I hated when she spoke French. As though all the English lessons my brother had given her didn't matter.

I'm sure she heard my mouth drop. I clenched my wand- but that's when my mother walked in.

"Ginevra!" she scolded and I put it down again. Fleur smirked and raised a perfect eyebrow. "Harry's here, why don't you go see him."

Of course she wouldn't be mad at me, she probably wished I would have finished before she walked into the room. But at the mention of Harry I lost most interest in Fleur and my wand.

Walking up the stairs I was muttering about how annoying she was, and I was glad to hear a conversation that I could turn into one about my exasperation.

"He can't be worse than Umbridge, can he?" Harry said.

"I know someone who's worse than Umbridge." Fleur, or Phlegm, as I liked to call her definitely was up there. "Hi Harry."

"What's up with you?" Ron asked.

"It's _her_." I grumbled dropping myself forcefully at the foot of Harry's bed making sure to miss his feet. "She's driving me mad."

"What's she done now?" Of course Hermione would understand, apparently Fleur didn't only have something against redheaded witches but bushy brunettes as well.

"It's the way she talks to me- you'd think I was about three!"

I was tired of people thinking I was so little only because I happened to be born last. Everyday every minute, it was "Oh not Ginny she's just a child!" I didn't know when they were going to realize that I _wasn't_ just a child. It seemed like that was the roll I played, not the smartest witch of our age, that was Hermione, not the most successful pranksters, that was Fred and George, not Harry Potter's courageous best friend that was Ron. I wasn't the chosen one to save the world- no that was Harry. I was the little sister.

Ginny Weasley, the youngest girl of the endless family.

I wanted to know when, if ever I was going to be considered something different. Something more. And when it came to Harry, yes I had a boyfriend, yes I was good friends with him, but I wanted to at some point grow out of being solely his best mate's little sister.

"I know; she's so full of herself."

My brother rolled his eyes, "Can you two lay off her for five seconds?"

I snorted, "Oh that's right defend her. We all know you can't get enough of her."

I then realized that Harry must have felt so lost, because he started,

"Who are you-?" But his question was answered before he could finish it.

She waltzed through the door in her ballet-ish style carrying the tray full of food. By hand! I was appalled. She just wanted everyone to think of her as sweet and considerate. Please, she never lifted a finger if she could help it.

She was too sour for me. But when she walked in the room, Harry instinctively pulled his bed covers up to his chin, throwing me and Hermione to the floor. I didn't like that reaction, but I found it interesting that he felt comfortable enough around me to let me see him in his pajamas. I stopped myself from thinking too much about it… Harry had reached a high point in his attractive growth that summer. I had a boyfriend and my thoughts were straying too much.

"'Arry, eet' as been too long!" 

The look on his face was priceless. "There was no need to bring up the tray, I was just about to do it myself." My mother said crossly entering behind her.

"Eet was no trouble." If I had thought the look on Harry's face before was good, it was nothing compared to the one I saw when she lowered the tray onto his lap and kissed him on each cheek. "I 'ave been longing to see 'im." don't judge me but I remember my hand going to my wand. "You remember my seester Gabrielle? She never stops talking about 'Arry Potter. She will be delighted to see you again."

Hmmm…that little girl sounded quite familiar.

"Oh…is she here too?" Poor Harry. Phlegm didn't even give us a chance to explain what was going on to Harry before she pounced on him. He probably had a headache wondering why she was in the wrong country.

"No, no silly boy," she laughed. "I mean next summer when we-but do you not know?"

"We hadn't got around to telling him yet." Mum answered.

"Bill and I are going to be married!" I looked away from the scene, it just felt so wrong. I didn't know why Bill was doing that, she was so…obnoxious. I didn't like her for my brother at all.

Harry didn't really seem to know what to say, and I didn't blame him, it was all so random, so sudden. "Oh…Wow. Er- congratulations!"

She had the nerve to swoop down and kiss him again.

"Bill iz very busy at ze moment, working very 'ard…"

I tended to zone out her voice, everything out of her mouth was just…blahh. I took notice again when she walked out of the room. Mum made some weird sound as though she was trying to get her frustration out in one syllable, I wanted to laugh.

"Mum hates her." I said instead.

"I do not hate her! I just think they've hurried into the engagement, that's all!" 

"They've known each other a year," said Ron annoying me further.

"Well that's not long! I know why it's happened, of course. It's all the uncertainty with You-Know-Who coming back, people think they might be dead tomorrow, so they're rushing all sorts of decisions they'd normally take time over. It was the same the last time he was powerful, people eloping left, right, and center-"

"Including you and dad." I said slyly.

"Yes well your father and I were made for each other, where as Bill and Fleur…well… what have they really got in common? He's a hard-working, down to earth sort of person whereas she's-"

"A cow." I sighed. I wasn't a rude person, really, it's just all these memories seem to revolve around the people who made me seem so harsh, Cho Chang and Romilda Vane included. "But Bill's a curse breaker, isn't he? He likes a bit of adventure…a bit of glamour…I expect that's why he's gone for Phlegm."

Harry and Hermione fell into fits of laughter, "Stop calling her that Ginny!" Mum said. I wasn't going to give up that nick name. No matter how rude it was.

Mum left the room then with just an order for Harry to eat.

"Don't you get used to her if you're living in the same house?" he asked me. I was going to say something about how she wasn't as easy to live with as he was but Ron spoke up first.

"Well, you do, but if she jumps at you unexpectedly, like then…"

"It's pathetic!" Hermione suddenly furious with my brother.

"You don't really want her around forever?" I asked exasperated. He just shrugged, I shook my head. "Well mum's going to put a stop to it if she can, I bet you anything."

"How's she going to manage that?" asked Harry.

"She keeps trying to get Tonks round for dinner. I think she's hoping Bill will fall for Tonks instead. I hope he does, I'd much rather have her in the family."

Ron denied it, and I got angry, Tonks was great, funny, smart, "She's a damn sight nicer than Phlegm!" I shot back. Merlin, what was it with boys and foreign, exotic girls!

"And she's more intelligent, she's an Auror!" Thank you Hermione.

"Fleur's not stupid, she was good enough to enter the Triwizard Tournament." I almost gasped when those words didn't come from Ron's mouth. I would have thought him to be the exception, the only one to not be dragged under the veela charm; it would only be fitting for Harry to be unaffected by it, but he never ceased to surprise me.

"Not you as well!" Hermione complained.

"I suppose you like the way Phlegm says ''Arry,' do you?" I asked him disappointed, but mostly disappointed in myself. Why did I care? I. Had. A. Boyfriend.

Harry looked as though he wished he had never spoken, "No, I was just saying Phlegm-I mean Fleur-"

"I'd much rather have Tonks in the family," I said finally, crossing my arms. "At least she's a laugh." The only way Fleur would make me laugh is if her bogeys were attacking her face.

Mum called me just a few moments later, "I'm talking to this lot!"

"Now!" she yelled, and I groaned.

"It's only because she doesn't want to be left alone with Phlegm!" and with that I danced out of the room, doing my best impersonation of the French witch.

That summer Harry, Ron, Hermione and I played Quidditch everyday and laughed more than I ever remember. Though Sirius was gone it seemed we all just wanted to bask in our teenage years in ways we rarely could. And I know he would have wanted us playing around and acting our age rather than worrying about all the things that followed where we went. The disappearances, kidnappings and all. Ollivander the wandmaker went missing just before Harry's 16th birthday. There were no leads and not even suspicions as to why his shop had been ransacked.

Aside from the news- Harry seemed, happy. Though I knew a lot of times he was putting up a show, his laughs were genuine.

And I found it quite interesting that _I _was the main cause of his laughter.

It was also brilliant that Harry was named Captain of the Gryffindor team, he was perfect for the position, and it distracted him from all else. He seemed rather smug about it, but it was his intent not to show it.

"Oh come off it Harry! You are the best choice for the team." Hermione laughed as we made our way to the pitch in the yard, she had opted out on this game claiming she had too much studying to do.

"But there's Katie Bell, she's just as deserving," he said.

"Well, You're the captain and that's that." She drifted off to the side with her book, to watch- well read- and Ron lifted into the air already announcing that he was more than excited for his best friend. Ron, however, just seemed concentrated on the game we were about to play, I figured he was preparing himself for the saves he wasgoing to make when Harry and I went _easy_ on him.

"You, _Sir_, are bloody proud, admit it," I whispered to him before we mounted.

He tried to compose his smile, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Of course you don't," I said in the same mocking tone. "Whatever you say." I pushed off the ground to instantly be greeted with the rush of adrenaline flying gives me. I didn't get very far before Harry called my attention again, I turned in mid air, hovering a few feet above him.

"I'd watch it if I were you, you don't want to cross your captain before tryouts, he just might make you practice like crazy during the season."

"Are you saying I'm already on the team?"

He mounted his broom and kicked off to meet me, "Now, what kind of example would I be setting If I just _let_ you on the team?" he smiled and I could see he was joking. "My best mate's little sister?"

"Little?" I raised an eye brow.

"You _are _trying out for the team, aren't you?"

_ "_Why don't we wait and see?"

"You're trying out Weasley, I won't take no for an answer."

"Ordering me around are you? I'd be careful I just might decide to try out for seeker, I am rather good at it...as you know."

"You wouldn't."

"What makes you think so?"

"You like being in the center of the action. You find playing seeker fun, but for a whole season you'd rather be chasing."

I stopped short at his admission to knowing something remotely personl about me. For a moment I couldn't think of anything to reply with.

"You never know… I may surprise you." I said risking a look in his eyes.

He smiled widely, "Yes, you're rather good at _that_," he said taking off in the opposite direction.

I was dying to get out of the house by the time our Diagon Alley trip came around. Sure spending weeks in the same house as Harry was always great, when he wasn't being moody- like that summer, but I desperately needed a change in scenery. That morning my mother had just served breakfast when I came into the kitchen. Ron and Harry were already seated at the table anxiously awaiting the food, as usual. Bill was home and it was making Phlegm perkier than usual. When Bill handed Harry a bag of galleons from Gringotts, Fleur went off in praise about my brother. I already _knew_ that Bill was thoughtful and kind; he was my brother for heaven's sake! She didn't have to tell us over again and again, I'd known him longer.

I wasn't aware that Harry was watching me as I pretended to vomit into my bowl of porridge. He suddenly broke into hysterical laughter, causing himself to choke on the small portion of porridge he inconveniently had in his mouth. It was a rather funny sight especially when Ron thumped him forcefully on the back only making Harry's situation worse. Mum turned to look at the commotion and that was when I started laughing as well.

"Are you two alright?" she asked. But I couldn't answer. Harry finally managed to swallow, yet he was crackling too hard to respond either.

"I think they've gone mad." Ron said. Even after a while I forgot what was so funny, however, every once in a while when Harry and I would catch each other's eyes we would chuckle again.

When we finally made it to Fred and George's shop, Weasley Wizard Wheezes, it was everything I knew it would be. It was buzzing with people- mostly Hogwarts students who had gotten a small taste of their products over the school years. My brothers looked like they were on top of the world, professional in their magenta robes, and having the time of their lives. Leave it to Fred and George to get a job where they got to play the whole day.

Ron and Hermione were bickering again somewhere behind us so Harry took to walking around with me. We didn't get far into the shop before the twins reached us.

"Oh look! If it isn't our favorite sister!"

"And our favorite benefactor!"

Harry and I both rolled our eyes, "I'm your only sister."

"And I'm pretty sure I'm your only benefactor, but don't even mention it."

Fred and George clapped Harry on the back. "That doesn't mean the both of you don't hold a special place in our hearts!"

"And speaking of special George…" Fred looked between Harry and I with a single raised eye brow. George caught on and smirked.

"This seems to be _especially_ mixed company."

"Is there something the both of you need to tell us?" they concluded together. I glared at them my warning couldn't be any more clear.

"Uh…" Harry started, "I'm not sure…"

"Don't worry Harry they are just looking for trouble," I told him, with a bit of infliction in my voice and a glare at the twins.

"And I think we found it George," said Fred taking my hint.

"And we don't have time for it, since we have to take dear Harry here on the grand tour." George added quickly.

"Good choice." I answered.

"Well, Mr. Potter if you don't mind us, we'll be taking you away from the lovely company of this great catch here." They came over and each took a cheek to swoop down and kiss at the same time.

Harry laughed as I shoved them away. "Oh, sod off!"

"Already gone."

"This way Harry."

It was a little while later when they returned; Hermione and I were infatuated with my brother's Patent Daydream Charms. It really was extraordinary magic, and to think my brother's hadn't even finished school yet they were already doing so well for themselves.

"What are you girls still doing over here?" asked Fred.

"Haven't you seen our section for lovely witches like yourselves?"

They led us over to their Wonder Witch products and I instantly found myself drawn over the love potions. There were only about a million or so girls in the area pushing and giggling and plotting schemes to slip some into the drink of the boy they fancied. It was a bit overwhelming in fact, but I still found myself -for reasons unknown at the moment- attracted to them.

"They actually work?" I asked my brothers, who here standing with Harry away from the female frenzy.

"Of course they do! For as long as twenty-four hours," something in what he said made me sink.

"But they are not on sale for our sister." George finished.

"And may I ask why not?"

"From what Ron's told us, you have about five boys tailing after you at this very moment and we are in no way going to help that cause."

"Well the one boy who I want to give it to hasn't been tailing after me!" No. I didn't say that, but it's what came to my mind, and it surprised me, I hadn't been so admittedly crazy about Harry to myself in a while. I looked over at him and wondered why it had been so long. I wasn't going to give him a love potion, especially if it was only going to last a day, by the end of the twenty four hours he still wouldn't feel a thing for me and it would all have been a lie. It wouldn't be fair to him, or to me. Besides if I knew Harry he probably wouldn't react to the potion and it would just turn into an embarrassing attempt.

Besides I had Dean.

As if on cue my brothers continued, taking my silence as a denial to their words.

"You are dating a boy by the name of Dean Thomas aren't you? Or is everything Ron has been telling us a lie?"

"You really shouldn't believe him, he's an over dramatic git."

"So you're not dating a boy by the name of Dean Thomas?"

"Yes I am! Are you happy now? At least he's in Gryffindor this time; how could I forget the grief you gave me for dating a Ravenclaw?" I huffed.

It wasn't too long after that, that I found Arnold, my new pet Pygmy Puff, and watched as the golden trio slipped out of my parent's watchful eyes disappearing out of the shop. They were following Draco Malfoy and I didn't need to know why. But it _would_ have been nice to have been invited, or at least told what they were up to. I could spend all summer with those three and when the first opportunity presented itself they would drop me like a burning piece of treacle tart. It hurt, but at least I had gotten used to it.

So I, being the amazing person that I am, did what I always did when they were finding trouble without permission- I covered up for them.

"Ginny, have you seen Harry, Ron or Hermione?" mum asked when she found me playing with Arnold.

"Oh yes, they told me they were going to help Fred and George in the back for a bit, seeing as this place is so busy."

"Oh that's nice of them." she smiled, and then looked at me and noticed something. "And why aren't you helping out? Really Ginny you should follow their example!"

"Yes mum I guess you're right." That was how it _always _went. I would be scolded for doing nothing, and I never once told them I saved their butts. To this day they have no idea how many times I've done that. But that moment I walked away from my mother mumbling, scathingly annoyed. "Yea if she knew what those three were really up to I'd be the one on the pedestal."

I ran in on their conversation with mum when they managed to sneak back into the store.

"I just went to the back room where you were supposed to be and I couldn't see either of you!"

Ron looked at Harry in question, but Hermione was the one to step in. "That's exactly where we were, you just might have missed us, we were back there. In the back room. All three of us."

I rolled my eyes at her sad attempt. My mum narrowed her eyes but walked away, letting it go.

Summer ended, like all good things, but I was looking forward to seeing Dean again. I loved the thought of how much he liked me and loved that I was appreciated in a way that I never got anywhere else. Outside of Dean I was just one of a thousand red heads, he made me think I was otherwise.

Boarding the train was an interesting experience that year. Ron and Hermione instantly went off for their prefect meeting leaving Harry and I alone, though I hadn't noticed, I was searching for Dean when Harry came up behind me and tapped my shoulder.

"Fancy trying to find a compartment?" 

I looked into his eyes, finding the sparkle I always did, but my urge to see Dean suddenly overcame me. And there I was with Harry asking me to find a compartment with him, alone, and I said,

"Sorry Harry, I've promised to meet Dean, I'll see you later alright?"

He nodded, but I couldn't read his face.

As I walked away I could have sworn I felt his eyes on me, but I bet it was just my imagination. I met Dean and sat with him for most of the ride, picturing Harry's face and trying to understand what he was thinking. I was normally so good at it but it just threw me off. There was confusion, mixed with some kind of…sadness…or disappointment? I wasn't sure.

A little while later the excitement on the train picked up again when I somehow landed in the Slug Club. This was an elite group of students that the new Hogwarts professor, Horace Slughorn, concocted in order to make connections with the most promising students.

Honestly I really do let my temper get away from me at times, the only reason I found myself in that club was for hexing Zacharias Smith after he annoyed me so much, interrogating me about what happened at the Department of Mysteries. Not only was it none of his business, I didn't want to talk about it- with anyone. Some memories are better forgotten, I lost a close friend that day and Smith was acting as though it would be the talk of the school if he got to find out what really went down. But still, my reaction was a bit rash. At least I didn't get into trouble and the impressive magic I performed was appreciated by Slughorn, enough for him to be eager to get me in his club.

And again, when Harry took forever to enter the Great Hall for the opening feast, it served as the icing on top of the cake for a truly interesting start to a truly interesting year. After the sorting Mr. Potter made his entrance, rather quickly, trying his best not to gain too much attention though that was close to impossible, he must have just been trying to avoid letting anyone get a good look at him. After all, what would people start saying when they saw Harry Potter, The Chosen One, who hadn't been seen since the train ride, walk in late covered in dried blood?

"It looks like his own this time." I said as he made his way over to where Hermione, Ron, Neville, Seamus, Dean and I were seated.

Dean looked at me, confused but Hermione understood what I meant. "And most of it from his nose,"

"He's angry." I concluded.

"Extremely." Ron and Hermione answered unanimously.

He found us and forced himself between his two best friends. I looked at Dean and smiled as though nothing out of the ordinary was taking place, attempting anything to get the attention off of poor Harry. Unfortunately, it didn't work as the group was leaning in to catch anything Harry was saying that could explain his state of war like bloodiness. Harry refused to say anything, and once Hermione cleaned him up I noticed Draco Malfoy on the other side of the Hall doing exaggerated movements resembling someone's nose being smashed in a million pieces. I looked back at Harry and realized the missing piece to that puzzle. My hands clenched into fists and my jaw set.

The bloody nerve of that boy, to this day I still am not sure if I will ever begin to not hate Draco Malfoy.

Dean noticed something was wrong, "What is it?"

"It's nothing. Just a ferret problem," I said.

He let out one laugh. "You are highly amusing you know that?"

"I try."

"But that doesn't mean I understand anything you say."

I sighed, "I know."

The year started as it always did, teachers drowning students in homework the very first chance they got, and since that was my fifth year I knew it was going to be a headache.

It wasn't a walk in the park for the others either. It seemed sixth year was just as, if not more, demanding than O.W.L. year. Whenever I saw Harry Ron or Hermione they were hidden by a stack of books and covered in ink. Dean was just the same but we had taken to doing homework and our studying together on one of the chairs in the common room each night. I got at least three looks from Ron each five minutes as though he was expecting us to do something inappropriate in the common room, I remember hardly being able to concentrate on my work for how mad I was at him.

But if anything defined that year for me, it was Quidditch. Yes I had played on the Gryffindor team occasionally when they needed a replacement, like I had filled in for Harry when he was put under that Quidditch ban from Umbridge and I played seeker. But when I go back and think of that blissful year all the memories somehow tied their way back to that incredible Quidditch season.

The morning of try outs Ron and Harry made it to the Great Hall for breakfast before I did, and that was a shock, but that must have been due to try out excitement. The buzz going around that school was mad. It seemed that everyone and their house elf wanted to go out for the team. And of course it wasn't just because of some crazy increase in the game's popularity, but in the immense increase of _Harry's_ popularity. As though he didn't have enough of that.

He was now "The Chosen One" not only would he live with being the Boy-who-Lived but now another title came about. I wanted to see the day when he could just be plain old Harry.

Of course it didn't help that he had grown about a foot over the summer and filed out, completely. But I'm just stating fact.

Dean was tall too.

Try outs would have taken over a week to get through if he really allowed each person who showed out a full trial. It was hard not to laugh at the scene I came across when I made it down to the pitch. So I didn't try. I laughed. Harry was running his hand through his hair, as I went to sit by the awaiting want-to-be chasers.

"If you are _NOT_ in Gryffindor, please leave NOW!" He yelled. Nothing was ever easy when it had something to do with him. I shook my head when a group of third year girls giggled their way off to the stands looking back at Harry over their shoulders. I was never like _that _over him. Talk about obvious.

It was taking forever. I remember being under that sun for so long, watching and growing frustrated as people wasted time and energy. Time was dragging and if I hadn't wanted to play so badly that season I would have cut my losses and gone to find something else to do.

Thank Merlin I didn't.

Harry made it through the beaters eventually and he called for the chasers. As everyone began to create a single filed line, which was quickly turning into chaos, Harry grabbed my arm. In the confusion he pulled me to the front.

"What am I doing?" I asked him in a whisper not necessarily wanting to go first.

"Saving me and our precious time," he whispered back.

"Hey!" yelled a fourth year at the head of the mess. "That's skipping!"

"Being reprimanded already Potter?" I asked him. "You might want to be careful they might just pull a mutiny already."

"Oh shut up," he muttered rolling his eyes; he turned to the boy, "Well she was the first one ready! And last time I checked I was the one running this!"

I started to laugh again.

"Oh Merlin! Is everyone really _trying_ to make this a disaster?"

"No!" I told him between laughs, "Honestly Harry, Katie Bell wouldn't have done any better."

"Get on with it Weasley," he said fighting a smile himself.

"Alright, alright, but remember you were the one who needed _me_."

I flew really well. Watching Harry all summer must have influenced my technique, it was a perfect run.

And that's how I ended up playing chaser for the rest of the day, filling in where a chaser was needed. When it was time for the keepers to fly Harry asked me to do the work, not that I minded. Helping him made things go smoother, faster and it made things much more amusing.

"I'm pretty sure everyone will think I went easy on Ron," I said just before they started, Ron was trying out for keeper of course.

Harry just shrugged, "At this point I'm so hungry I wouldn't object to closing my eyes and point to someone at random."

He had something there… I hadn't eaten since breakfast and it was well into the late afternoon. "Ok then," I placed one hand over my eyes and spun in one complete circle pointing at where I knew Ron was standing. I opened my eyes in false surprise and smiled. "Look! Problem solved, let's go." I turned toward the castle. "Treacle Tart, Harry?" I suggested over my shoulder as I tried to make a run for it.

He snorted and quickly took hold of my wrist not letting me go anywhere. "Ok, you lot are the last group so let's make this move fast and painless so…" but no one was listening. There was pushing and shoving, yelling and screaming. It had been a long day, and Harry seemed too tired to regain control.

"HEY! IF YOU REALLY WANT TO BE ON THIS TEAM THEN THE FIRST RULE IS TO LISTEN TO THE CAPTAIN!" I called.

"SO SHUT IT AND MAKE ONE LINE!" he finished. "Thanks."

"Anytime."

The crowd had gone silent and I smiled at our work, at least they were starting to form something that resembled a line, and were doing so quietly. I looked over at Ron, and my poor brother was rather green. I knew it must have been the nerves but he was staring at Harry and me rather strangely. "Do I have something on my face?" I asked Harry.

He looked down at me, "No."

"Hmm. Neither do you," I shrugged.

"Uh…ok….Mclaggen isn't it?" he asked the boy at front of the line. Boy was more of an understatement; he was huge, wide and tall. Handsome face too.

"Yes it is. And don't you forget it," he replied pompously, suddenly making him look like a troll. First impressions are the most crucial after all.

"Yea, well you're up." Checking his watch Harry turned back to me. "5 shots I think will do, and the faster we finish the faster we can eat, hopefully not missing dinner."

"Done." I meant to mount my broom but something held me back. That's when I realized Harry's hand was still gripping my wrist. I looked down at it and realized we were practically holding hands subconsciously. I understood Ron's queer look then.

Harry noticed my preoccupation and quickly let go. "Err...Sorry." He didn't blush, as I didn't either, but he had that same look of confusion on his face.

"No…no problem." I didn't meet his eyes.

Ron eventually got the spot but don't ask me how, I just remember worrying about nothing other than the ball and my broom. And definitely _not_ my tingling wrist.

The first few practices went great, Harry was a natural at giving pointers, helping and leading our team. It was also safe to say we were a fun group. Ron on the team ended up being entertaining but it wasn't too soon before the downsides of having brothers made themselves shown.

One day after practice Dean met me by the changing rooms.

"Hey."

"Hi." I smiled as he took my hand and we made our way to the castle. Dean and I didn't speak much. Where as Michael would never shut up. Michael would go on and on about his house's Quidditch team and how they were going to win the house cup, it was never ending chatter. It drove me half mad, but Dean was the complete opposite. He would keep to himself around me. Granted it seemed he had a great old time with his friend's, Harry and Ron being some of them, but with me…when we _did_ speak it wasn't about anything in particular.

Although the few times we did have conversations, he liked to talk about me. Not that I minded that much, I never really got to talk about myself, usually it was either about one of my older brothers or Harry. It was nice to have something that was all my own for a while. It was nice to have someone interested and preoccupied with me and only me.

We were about one corridor away from the common room when he pulled me into the secret passageway behind the tapestry.

"What are you doing?" I laughed.

He stood close to me even though there was plenty of space, and I got an idea of what he was trying to do. "Getting some privacy with my very pretty girlfriend."

"Something tells me you're all talk Thomas."

He smirked placing his hands on my waist, "Well then I'll shut up."

He was rather corny, I wasn't really one for loovey gooey types, but he was a good kisser. He held me close and kissed me deeply, I gave him back just what he was giving me.

I never saw sparks though. How everyone says when you do when you meet "the one" and some kind of explosion happens when you kiss, but all I got from Dean was that he thought I was a great snog partner, and though that may have bothered me, at that exact moment I didn't care.

Things got pretty intimate in that secluded corridor, I felt his hands getting lower on my back and I wasn't getting any air. He didn't want to stop, I remember that well enough, he would have been happy to stay there forever, but I wasn't. I was just about to pull away when suddenly I didn't have to because we were interrupted.

"OI!" 

Whirling around I found Ron and Harry with surprised looks on their faces, I thought Ron was about to throw up. And instantly I grew annoyed, my brother had no business looking at me that way. And then there was Harry. I couldn't begin to describe that one, shock, anger, embarrassment, any one of those with something else. Back then I took it as disappointment and shame. For a moment I felt mad at myself for disappointing him, but just as fast, I realized this had nothing what so ever to do with either of them.

"What?" I asked.

"I don't want to find my sister snogging people in public!"

Unbelievable, "This as a deserted corridor until you came butting in!" I snapped.

Dean was embarrassed, but managed to say, "Er…c'mon, Ginny, let's go back to the common room…"

I didn't miss the look Harry gave Dean. I honestly did NOT need another over protective older brother. "You go!" I told him, "I want a word with my dear brother!" my temper seeping through each word. He left, not that I cared, I could handle those two on my own any day. "Right." I said tossing my hair out of my face to get a perfect view of him. "Let's get this straight once and for all. It is none of your business who I got out with or what I do with them, Ron-"

"Yeah it is!" he interrupted me. _He actually interrupted me_. "Do you think I want people saying my sister is a-"

There was no way I was going to let him finish that thought. I pulled out my wand, "A what? A _what _exactly?" even though I was bloody angry, those words hurt. I was not some kind of Cho Chang, Pansy Parkinson or Romilda Vane, I had too much dignity for that, but for my _own brother_ to hint that I was some kind of….I still don't want to even think about it.

Harry spoke up right then, "He doesn't mean anything, Ginny-"

"Oh yes he does!" and for him to hint it in front of Harry of all people… it was worse than anything. What I must have looked like in Harry's eyes, that disappointment I thought I saw burned me. I grew mad at Harry and yelled at him too, "Just because he's never snogged anyone in his life, just because the best kiss he's ever had is from our Auntie Muriel-"

"Shut you mouth!" Ron was the color of fire at that point, his eyes were so narrow I could hardly see them.

"No I will not!" Ron pulled out his wand too. "I've seen you with Phlegm, hoping she'll kiss you on the cheek every time you see her; it's pathetic!" I knew they were low blows but I would never quit getting grief from him every time I kissed a boy. It wasn't fair, and it was just because he had no idea what it was like. "If you went out and got a bit of snogging done yourself, you wouldn't mind so much that everyone else does it!"

Harry was in between us at that point, not that it mattered Ron was going to get what was coming to him.

"You don't know what you're talking about!" he roared, causing Harry to stand in front of me, arms outstretched protectively. Leave it to Ginevra Weasley to notice that while in a heated fight with her brother. "Just because I don't do it in public-"

What a joke! Of all the things he could have said, he chose the one thing his best friend and sister, the only two other people in the room, would know it was a lie straight off.

I pushed Harry out of my way, "Been kissing Pigwidgeon, have you? Or have you got a picture of Auntie Muriel stashed under your pillow?"

"You-" but as he said it a jet of light dashed from his wand, missing me by pure centimeters. Harry's abrupt reaction made me pause. He grabbed Ron by the collar and pushed him up against the wall. I was left behind with my wand limp at my side. My brother just cursed at me, how much more pathetic could I get? I almost wanted to cry, he made me so angry, though I was more ashamed of myself. I wouldn't for the life of me let on though.

"Don't be stupid-" Harry started but I cut him off.

"Harry's snogged Cho Chang!" that vile witch. "And Hermione snogged Victor Krum, it's only you who an act like it's something disgusting, Ron, and that's just because you've got about as much experience as a twelve-year-old!" I stormed away after that. Not even going back up to the common room, but outside where I could blow things up without anyone telling me otherwise.

It took a few days to stop steaming but that didn't mean I spoke to Ron. When the first Quidditch game arrived we met it with great conditions and great luck. The only sour point to the match was the commentating; Zacharias Smith was truly an idiot. He down played our team's incredible performance, and criticized every inch of each player Harry added to the Gryffindor team. But he ate his words- Ron saved everything, surprisingly easily, and I was on a scoring run. I smiled at the old favorite, "Weasley is our King" being sung by the Gryffindors in the background.

And when Harry caught the snitch I figured the only way to make the match even more perfect would be to get revenge on Smith. So I did.

"Ginny, where are you going?" I heard Harry call from the center of the massive team group hug. I was moving too fast to answer him, and swiftly collided into the commentator's stand. I tried not laugh when I got up to see Smith in a pile of rubbish wood. A few bruises on my part was definitely worth it. The crowd roared with laughter, "Sorry professor," I said apologetically to McGonagall, "Forgot to brake."

I heard Harry laugh behind me and turned to face him when he picked me up in a tight hug, he let go quickly, as though he was surprised he did that, and moved onto Ron avoiding my gaze. I didn't miss the feeling of being in his arms, however, no matter how quick that moment was.

I shook my head and went to find Dean.

He was sitting alone, a few days later, in one of his favorite arm chairs by the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room. It was late in the evening so everyone was out enjoying themselves the way all teenagers were supposed to.

It was strange not to see him with Hermione or Ron, but seeing that the pair were not speaking or tolerating each other at the moment, due to the whole Lavender fiasco, it left Harry alone. Ron was such a git and the biggest hypocrite to ever walk the halls of this school. Right after the game Ron made a spectacle of himself, distastefully snogging Lavender Brown in front of the entire Gryffindor house. And of course a scorned Hermione refused to speak to him.

Harry was flipping through some book, curious and interested, but when I came closer I saw that it was a potion's text book. I rolled my eyes, either he had something hidden between the covers or he was taking his new career choice seriously, there was no way Harry was that intrigued with potions on his own choosing. Either way it looked like he could use a distraction, a… friend.

I sneaked up behind him and leaned over his shoulder. He was so absorbed in his reading he didn't notice my face just inches from his ear. I was about to speak when I took notice of his book, it had scribbles all over the pages, ink scratching out the text and writing over it. It was potions, revised recipes, but not Harry's handwriting.

"What are you reading Mr. Potter?"

He jumped out of his skin, as well as a good foot above the chair, slamming the book shut as it fell to the carpet. I grabbed my sides in hysterics, he really had no idea I was there.

"Good God Ginny. Don't- don't… do that!" he said sharply trying to regulate his up-tempo breathing.

"Wow, Harry wow, you can face the darkest wizard of all time again and again with no questions asked, but I come up behind you and you almost have a heart attack."

"I don't know what to say to that."

"How about, 'You're right Ginny, if You-Know-Who isn't the one to finish me it'll be you'." He glared as I seated myself at his feet. "But still, what were you reading?"

"Uh… nothing I was just studying."

"Hermione would never believe it."

He smiled, "Anyway, what are you doing up here at this time? Shouldn't you be out with Dean?" I may have imagined it, but _now_ I know I hadn't, I thought I saw a sense of sadness in his voice and expression. Back then I took it that he thought I was going to leave and he didn't want to be alone.

"I can always set aside time for The Chosen One."

Rolling his eyes he picked up the book and placed it back in his bag, then readjusted himself so that his head was resting on one arm of the chair and his legs hanging off the other arm. "Don't _I_ feel special." his eyes were softly looking at me.

"You know, Harry, I haven't had the chance to tell you that I think you are doing an amazing job with the team."

He sighed, "Thanks, I love it, it's just…" he trailed off. I shifted over so that my back was leaning against the foot of the seat and my head touched his chest, so that I had to turn my neck to look at him.

"It's just what?"

"It's a lot of pressure is all; I feel that since everyone thinks so high and mighty of me, I'm expected to be to be brilliant with everything I do. Like it's expected of me to win the house cup."

I shrugged, "Tell them to sod off."

He laughed. "_You're_ the one person who would be so straight forward."

"Listen. You shouldn't care what people think, especially after all you learned last year, you know that. The only thing that matters is what you expect of yourself, and I know that sounds like a ratty old cliché but you've got enough to worry about other than people's expectations."

"How do you know I have so much on my mind?" he raised his eyebrows playfully.

"You're Harry Potter; you always have things on your mind."

The way he looked at me then, it was as though he was seeing me for the first time. There was this new emotion as well, something I had never seen him give me before. But I couldn't figure out what it was.

I was so stupid. So incredibly stupid that I allowed what happened next, to happen.

"I guess you're right. Thanks Gin."

"Hmmm… I think I've heard that before," I said softly, remembering him writing that to me, we had never spoken about our letters from the summer. They were mostly just an unsaid understanding.

He smiled, "Yeah."

I wanted to lighten the mood, "Don't worry though, we're going to win the cup anyway."

It worked, "Well with you scoring the way you have been lately,"

"And your habit to _always _catch the snitch,"

"We have it in our hands."

I nodded, "And we can't forget our secret weapon."

He leaned towards me, dropping his voice in mock secrecy. "What?"

"You really don't know?" I whispered leaning in as well.

"No." His voice cracked on the word, which was strange, that never happened to him around me.

"Uh…" I almost forgot what I was going to say because of that distraction, "Felix Felicis."

His eye brows came together, but the smirk on his face was prominent.

"Don't think I don't know what you did Harry. Pretending to drop some luck in Ron's drink and then getting Hermione all riled up."

"Well, I…but…" he looked ashamed and I laughed.

"Harry it was brilliant, I'm just wondering if you thought it up all by yourself." I smiled.

"Yes I did," he said defensively.

"Hmm… Not bad Potter. If only you had thought of it sooner, _before_ Ron completely pummeled Demelza in the face. But hey I'm not one to complain."

He looked at me for a moment and then started violently laughing. I stared incredulously not remembering having an intention to make him laugh. I had been entirely serious. "Well…in a way it's better," he said between laughs, "now the Slytherins will be too scared of him to sing!"

I began to laugh as well, "I'll let Demelza know that she took one for the team." and we both fell into fits of laughter. That was the moment I realized it.

There we were so close, with my chest practically resting lovingly on his chest laughing our heads off in our own world and I wasn't nervous at all. I wasn't blushing my heart was under control, I was happy and comfortable. Actually my heart was very much out of control, but then, I only thought it was because of the laughter.

I was stupid.

I realized that I wasn't fawning over him anymore. We were two best friends, who cared about each other, and that was it. That's all we would ever be.

I was over Harry Potter; my heart that was tattered by the battle of unrequited love was healed. I was happy with another boy… My infatuation was over.

Or so I thought.

I ignored the back part of my brain telling me that I was wrong.

Sure I knew Harry better than anyone, Ron and Hermione were the exception but even they didn't understand how to deal with his moods. Sure he needed me in times like this when his two best friends couldn't be there for him. But I could accept just being friends then. The little girl dreams and prophecies I made at five years old, maybe they meant something else.


	14. All's Fair in Love and Quidditch

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

**Entry 13: All's Fair in Love and Quidditch**

"_How did you get here under my skin_

_Swore that I'd never let you back in  
>Should've known better than trying to let you go<br>Here we go, go, go again._

_Hard as I try,_

_I know I can't quit,_

_Something about you is so addictive._

_We're flling together, you'd think that by now I'd know_

_Cause here we go, go, go again…"  
>- Demi Lovato, Here We Go Again<em>

I remember when I knew things were changing, but I was so stubborn at fifteen that I ignored it all.

I would have been an idiot not to notice the way's Harry looked at me, especially when he thought no one was watching. I would have been mad not to see how he oriented himself around me, how he was always asking me to tag along, on Hogsmeade trips even. And I did notice how he was starting to get nervous in my presence, when I came too close. Such as Christmas Day that year when he came downstairs and sat at breakfast, with strangely, a maggot in the depth of his hair. When I told him this, I went to pick it out and the moment I touched him goose bumps rose on his arms and a faint blush crept across his cheeks.

But I denied it, I constantly told myself that it was my eyes playing tricks on me because now that I had convinced myself that I was over him, it would have been funny to see him start liking me. It was all in my head.

I think, back then, I was just afraid of getting hurt again. Scared Of hoping and wishing and watching as it never lead up to anything. That would have been worse than giving up so I just held tight onto Dean.

Whenever Harry asked me to do something with him I'd decline and say I had made plans to met with Dean. I'm kicking myself, now, for having done that. We could have had so much more time.

However as luck would have it, problems were evolving with Dean. I found him becoming clingy and needy, he always had to know where I was, who I was with. And he was entirely too gentlemanly. That wasn't a problem exactly, it was that he was old fashioned to an extreme. Sure to some girls that is what they wanted, what they expected, but I wasn't some girls. I grew up with 6 older brothers, I stood on my own two feet, I did things for myself. When he would help my through the portrait hole I would roll my eyes and ask him sweetly not to.

Of course he didn't listen.

Quidditch was still going extremely well, but I couldn't deny the amount of bludgers Harry had been taking because of a distraction. I pretended not to know why, though it was obvious, after practice he would compliment each one of my moves and give me endless pointers. He wasn't watching the snitch but me, closely. My pony tail sagging all over the place, covered in sweat he was watching me.

When Romilda Vane was at fault for landing my brother in the hospital wing after sending a love potion at Harry that fell in the hands of my brother, and with Katie Bell in St. Mungo's our team was taking major blows. We had to get replacements and those replacements came in the forms of Cormac Mclaggen and Dean Thomas.

Mclaggen was just about as fowl as Romilda Vane herself, only in male form. With him on the team it was a new headache everyday. He would nag Harry about new Quidditch techniques telling everyone else what to do and how to do it, being everywhere _except _where he should have been, at the posts, covering for Ron.

"Where is he?" I asked sitting down to tie my quidditch boots in the changing rooms.

Demelza looked up. "No one's seen him all morning."

I sighed and was about to say something when Mclaggen spoke up. "Well, that's not very professional of a captain. If I were captain I'd be here bright and early before anyone to make sure everything is in order," he was already up and pacing in front of the team who were all seated preparing ourselves for the upcoming match. That last thing we needed was to hear his voice. "Well, I guess since Potter's late, I'll-"

"Oi!" I stopped him. "Sit it, and zip it." my history with the Bat-Bogey hex made him sit.

Minutes were slipping away and the game was coming closer, and we should have been pumping up, going over strategy, Harry should have been there, motivating us. He still hadn't shown. I could see the team getting restless, without our seeker it would have been an automatic forfeit.

He eventually made it into the changing rooms, at the last possible second mind you, and everyone blew a sigh of relief.

"Where have you been!" I asked standing up extremely annoyed.

He grabbed his robes and whispered to me, "I met Malfoy."

Of course he did.

I looked over my shoulder at all the pair of eyes watching us in question. "So?" I asked waiting for his head to come out of his robes and passed him his gloves.

"I wanted to know why he was up in the castle rather than down here with the rest of the school." he replied putting his glassed back into place.

"Does that really matter right now?" I gave him his firebolt, and he was ready.

"Well I'm not likely to find out now am I?" he said to me then turned on his heel. "C'mon then!" I rolled my eyes and followed them all out of the tent. Some things would just never change.

Out on the pitch the match was going alright, until Mclaggen opened his trap. The one moment I let the quaffle out of my reach he started yelling at me left and right, at one point I got so fed up I turned to yell back but Harry got to it first. We scored a few times but Cormac was just the biggest distraction, I didn't need to know how Cootes should have been going after the chasers on the outside, but Mclaggen was loud enough to let everyone in on it.

If that weren't enough, Luna was doing the commentating. I loved Luna, I hated how everyone treated her she was just so entertaining. But I would have appreciated her voice more if I had been seated in the stands, not zooming about trying to get on the left side of Demelza for a quick pass. At some point McGonagall had to cut in.

"Seventy-Forty to Hufflepuff!"

I was fifty feet in the air at that point, covering Demelza who had the ball, Cootes on her other side like we had planned, the only thin that was missing was Peakes, who should have been bringing up our tail.

"Is it already?" Luna asked, her attention coming back to the game. "Oh look! The Gryffindor keeper's got hold of one of the Beater bats!"

I stopped the back wind almost knocking me off my broom and I turned around. And there he was, Mclaggen with Peakes' bat teaching him how to hit the oncoming Hufflepuff players. Peakes was trying to grab hold of his bat again and my hands were just shaking in rage. That was our winning strategy, I had thought up that position, and he was ruining it!

So many things happened at once.

I was still on the other side of the field and I couldn't really change any part of what happened but Merlin that didn't stop me from trying, the moment Harry roared, "You Give him back that bat and get yourself to the goal posts or so help me Mclaggen!" I went full speed to the commotion because I saw Mclaggen go to hit the bludgers. And even before it made contact with the bat I knew where it would go. I kept my eyes on my destination and managed to see Mclaggen miss hit the ball, again, it all happened to fast.

In one instant I stopped and turned around and the next I was racing towards Harry as the bludgers made it's way to his skull. I wasn't going fast enough to save him, I knew that, but when the ball collided with him my heart stopped. I didn't let my broom do the same, I kept moving as though my life depended on it. Everything and everyone was a blur around me and I wondered if they had seen what I had seen, or if I was the only one doing anything.

I yelled his name as he fell unconscious and I caught him the moment he slipped off his broom. The sudden weight of him on my broom caused us to dip steep and dangerously towards the ground. I kept my arm around his torso balancing him on my broom. Peakes got to me then but I was too shaken up to let him out of my arms.

So he and Cootes helped me get to the ground safely where a crowd had already formed and I let them take him. I watched as they took him away to the hospital wing trying to regulate my breathing.

A chorus of "Are you alright?"

"Is he going to be ok?"

"How did that happen?"

Chanted around me but I was barely aware. I needed to find Cormac. No. they expected me to keep on playing as though one of my own team's players did not just knock out our captain, seeker and not to mention my…

Harry.

That though distracted me even more from the game, what was he to me? It seemed like we were leaning on a thin line, one that I stubbornly didn't want to attempt to cross. He was more than just my brother's best friend, we were close. maybe like siblings, but I wasn't sure if I could handle that type of relationship. And after seeing him bludgered right in front of me my reaction didn't convince me that what I felt was sisterly. It was confusing when you threw it all in the mix, I just hoped Harry wasn't as confused, he had more important things to worry about, like those secret meetings with Dumbledore no one ever told me what they were about. I began to see that I truly _had been_ lying to myself those last couple of months, but I was too chicken to do anything about it.

AND FOR LORD SAKES I HAD A BOYFRIEND!

I didn't play well obviously. Once we all made it to the changing rooms when it was over there was silence. No one had the guts to do it, so I did.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WERE, YOU THINKING?" my voice was ice; sharp and cold.

"Well… I….uh…Peakes was-"

"I was doing just fine by myself!" the other boy said. The whole team was now following my lead, standing up behind me, I reached for my wand.

"Yes he was."

Cormac was absolutely terrified. "It was an accident."

"An accident that after every time someone told you mind your own business you just did it again?" Coote behind me asked, annoyed. Mclaggen gulped and stepped back, only, we had him cornered.

"I know what you're thinking," I told him. "you're relieved that the great Harry Potter is up in the castle unconscious, because after that stunt you just pulled he'd kill you." I laughed, "Well guess what? I'm positive he trusts me to do his job well, and I will."

Mclaggen let out a shriek and pushed past us trying to get away, but he didn't get away quick enough before I caught him with one of my favorite jinx's. I don't think anyone will forget the sight if Cormac's underwear rising up from the back of his trousers. Everyone roared in laughter as he flew from the tent, trying to stop it. There were already tears in his eyes and he hopped out.

I on the other hand hadn't cracked a smile, I was far too furious. "That's what you get when you piss off a girl with six older brothers." I had most definitely used that one before.

Up in the common room my arms were still tingling from where his body had been. I needed to shower and get to the hospital wing, the longer it took the more I needed to see him. I made my ways up to the bathroom.

"As much as it sucked to lose the game you must admit, Harry's face when he saw that bludger coming was hysterical."

I turned around, halfway up the stairs. "What?"

Dean shrugged, chuckling, "The whole thing, it was rather amusing."

"Amusing? Really you think?"

"C'mon Gin you have to admit-"

"Don't call me Gin."

"Why not? Isn't that what Harry calls you sometimes?"

"You're not Harry." he froze, as did a lot of other Gryffindors who were slumped around after our loss. It was too late to take back those words, they came out only too easily.

"Obviously…"

"Because if you were, you'd be lying in a hospital bed with your skull cracked open and your blood all over my Quidditch robes!" I pointed at the bundle of soiled red clothes in my hands. I marched back down the stairs to face him head on.

"Where's your sense of humor huh? It was a joke, laugh it off and move on." his voice was rising too, and now even more attention was being attracted, I didn't care.

"A joke? You've never gotten hit by a bludger have you? Do you remember the last time he got hit with one? He had to grow his bones back, you were there Dean. So sorry if I don't find it 'amusing'."

"God!" he scoffed, "Do you realize what you sound like right now? Harry Potter's over protective girlfriend. But you're not your mine!"

I didn't allow those words to sink in, I just answered to the last bit. "Oh really? Keep this up and we'll see just how much longer that'll last." I pushed past him dropping the robes at his feet. And that is how I found myself storming up to the hospital wing, a mess and not showered. I can sill remember how angry I was, all of a sudden more at Dean than Cormac.

Where did he get off just standing there laughing when his own friend, room mate, had just been injured in front of him? I made my way through the corridors not really caring where Dean and I stood. I needed to see Harry.

The wing was empty except for Ron who was flipping through a book warily and Harry on the bed beside him, still asleep with a thick bandage wrapped around his head. A pit in my stomach formed at the sight.

"Ginny!" Ron exclaimed when he noticed me tossing the book aside.

"Shh!" I warned him shutting the door behind me and walking closer.

"Oh relax! I'm so bored! Thank God you're here, I've been trying to wake Harry up but it seems no matter how big the book I use is he doesn't even stir. He's not good company when he's out cold." Sure enough I could see some magazines and such scattered around Harry's bed and the floor.

"Ron, honestly?" I asked rolling my eyes. "So he still hasn't woken up?" I got to my brother's bed to see that there was, conveniently, a chair placed in between them two. Apparently I wasn't the first to visit.

"No, but would you tell me what the bloody hell happened out there?"

"they didn't tell you?" I asked taking a seat.

Ron blushed, "Well Lavender was here when they brought Harry in…and I was well.."

"Pretending to be asleep."

"Yea."

"Ron honestly, get rid of her already."

"Anyway, tell me." he said shrugging it off.

So I did. Ron was grimacing towards Harry's life less form when I finished. "So over all, not one of our best performances?"

I groaned and sat back in my chair, "The whole thing was a disaster, from the commentating to Harry showing up late."

"Late?"

"Yea, he almost missed tip off."

"But he was with me earlier, and he left with plenty of time."

I shrugged, "He told me he met Malfoy."

Again, I was never a naïve girl, so when I saw Ron look away I knew something was going on with Malfoy. "What is Malfoy-"

"Where's Hermione?" he asked changing the subject, I knew a lost cause when I saw one.

I sighed, "Up in the common room, she's probably taking care of her prefect duties, making sure no fights erupt."

"Everyone must be pretty upset with Mclaggen right about now." he was grinning from ear to ear happy to know that we all preferred him over Cormac.

"Well we dealt with Mclaggen already, right at the pitch. He hasn't been seen since." my voice was a tad smug.

"So what's wrong in the common room?"

"I really don't want to talk about it."

I looked over at Harry, he seemed so helpless? It was odd to think of him that way, when usually he's so strong and all, but I bet that was the best sleep he'd had in a while. My attention came back to my brother, who was watching me with that same expression he had a few years before, that thoughtful look, I hadn't seen since the night they rescued Harry from the Dursley's. and again the day on the train when he found out I broke up with Michael last year. It was a distinct look, what it meant, I had no clue, but I still blushed because he caught me starring at Harry.

"What?"

I stayed for a long while, not particularly wanting to meet anyone else for the rest of the day. Ron had fallen asleep by the time Harry stirred.

It was just a slight movement of the head but it made me feel loads better. I wanted him to sleep, but I also just wanted him to open his eyes look up at me and threaten Mclaggen's life. I wanted him to sit up and agree that in the future we will look back on this and laugh, I hated seeing him so fragile like that.

I started thinking about what Dean had said, though I knew I shouldn't have, there wasn't much else to do. 'Harry Potter's overprotective girlfriend?' What would it be like if I really were? Of course I had thought about it before but never as though it were a real possibility as it seemed to be now.

My mind went into over drive, suddenly it wasn't Dean and I in that empty corridor, it was Harry and I.

His arms around my waist, my hands in his tangled hair, just so different from Dean. He would smile against my lips because he knew it was me, rather than just some snogging partner. We understood each other, and what we wanted. His woodsy smell, like a broomstick, warm and inviting. His eyes would glow so close to mine I would have a perfect view to his momentary happiness, I wasn't too short, we fit well. Two pieces of a unsolved puzzle left alone for so long.

I wouldn't mind that I couldn't breathe…

"Gin…" he'd sigh…

I jumped when I realized, that sigh didn't come from my imagination. I was brought back from my day dream with a force I almost felt whip lashed. I turned, expecting to see Harry awake, but he wasn't.

No one else was in the room and I was certain that was Harry's voice. He smiled and shifted a bit speaking again.

"Ginny…flowers…"

Harry was dreaming.

I almost fainted.

Flowers? What the bloody hell did that mean?

I grabbed his hand and moved forward, stroking it with my thumb, it was so warm, just like my day dream. My other hand went to his bandages and I started tracing them lightly.

I don't' remember why I did that, I just remember I couldn't think straight, all I wanted was to be that close to his eyes for real, I wanted to see right into them.

"I'm here Harry." I whispered, not sure if I was supposed to speak or not.

He smiled again. Making my hart stop, it seemed to have been doing that a lot that day. A sudden urge moved me nearer, I was inches from his face when his lips parted, practically asking me. I was so close goose bumps made their way up my arms, I wasn't breathing straight but it still felt amazing, I wanted so much to make that dream into a reality.

No.

I snapped back up into my original sitting position. I just couldn't risk my heart like that. I stood and walked out briskly.

I was with Dean. That was when the argument came about it my head, Dean or Harry.

I want Harry.

_What if he doesn't want you?_

What if he does?

_You're with Dean._

We are having problems.

_Everyone has problems._

I'm better off without him.

_No, you'll just be alone._

I'll have Harry.

_And if you don't?_

Then I'll just be alone!

So I didn't do anything. But of course, Hermione didn't waste any time realizing things either.

"Have you noticed anything different about Harry lately?"

"Uh… no not really, what are you talking about?"

She looked at me and I raised my eyes from my homework, "I'm not buying that Ginny."

"I don't need your sickles." I said dropping my gaze again.

"When I mentioned your argument with Dean to him he seemed particularly interested."

"Did he?" I asked trying to sound distracted, though she had captured all my attention and then some.

"Yes, he said he didn't want his team messed up."

I groaned internally, that's what I get for reading into things too much. "Of course he wouldn't."

"He was lying Ginny."

"Now why would he do that?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Hermione," I said still not looking up, "not everyone is as swift as you, so no it's not obvious what your talking about."

She ignored me, "Ginny."

I dropped my act and set my quill down on my parchment. "I'm with Dean, Hermione."

A smile made it's way across her face, "But who's the one calling you 'Gin'?"

"What?"

"Oh come now Ginny! You told the whole common room that Harry Potter was the only one allowed to call you by a pet name."

"Ginny_ is_ a nick name."

"Ginevra!"

I shook my head, a bit surprised that no one had told us to keep it down, the library seemed crowded all of a sudden. "What Hermione? You were the one who told me to get over him!"

"Not in so many words." she snapped, clearly getting frustrated. "I said to let things happen as they should, and you have!"

"So you think things are happening?"

"If they haven't already then they're about to."

We stared at each other for a moment before I said, "I'm with Dean."

She stood, taking her books, with a last, "Well in your words, 'let's see how much longer that lasts.'"

It didn't last much longer. After that day everything Dean did started to annoy me even more than usual, I didn't want to admit that I took her words to heart, but he back of my mind was never wrong. One night we were walking silently up to the common room, we didn't speak much anymore, which was impressive considering we never talked all that much in the first place. As we came though the portrait whole I felt a nudge against my arm, throwing me off balance and almost tripped inside.

"_Don't _push me, please, Dean. You're always doing that, I can get through perfectly well on my own."

"I didn't-"

"You didn't? You really expect me to believe that after all the times I've asked you not to?"

He ignored me and kept walking over to the step, just the same as though nothing was going on. "Don't just walk away!" I called after him.

He turned around and that was when I noticed Ron and Hermione for the first time, Ron was having an argument with Lavender, though it seemed though she was just scolding him as he looked at his feet, Hermione stood awkwardly in the midst of it.

"I can't even get a word in with you anymore so what's the point?"

"Maybe you would if you would just listen to me sometimes rather than trying to turn any conversation into a snogging session!" I said with a huff.

"Oh, don't act like you ever minded it."

"Well, now I do."

"Just like how all of a sudden everything I do is wrong?"

"Yea just like that."

He shook his head, and I crossed my arms. He was finally getting the picture. "Well I don't know what you want me to do any more." he turned again but I wasn't quite done.

"Maybe you would if you would get to know me, I feel like you don't understand anything, those long winded talks about absolutely nothing! It drives me mad!"

He stopped, "Understand? Of course I don't understand, there's so many secrets you keep from me every day, and I've finally realized you have no intention on telling me anything."

I was taken back, he was right, but there was nothing I could do about that. "There's a lot of things you don't know, sure, but that doesn't mean you can't listen when I want to talk."

"That's not fair at all."

"Well then, maybe we should just and it and be done with it!"

"If that's what you want then fine. I don't care!"

Though I was furious, each word hit me like a block of ice, he didn't care, maybe he never had, our relationship was all chemical and generic. Maybe it was artificial from the start. We didn't have a connection so naturally he wouldn't care if it all broke apart.

He seemed to notice the depth of his words and he stepped forward guiltily. "I didn't mean- Ginny I…"

"It's ok because you're right. I'm too much trouble to care. All the drama with my family, my involvement in the war, the secrets, everything. It's not worth it, _I'm_ not worth it." I said, meaning every word. We stared at each other silently, the only other sound in the room was coming from Lavender's shrieks at Ron.

"It's Harry isn't it?"

It became so clear so fast. Who else would I be able to open up to without worrying about revealing too much information? Who else wouldn't be afraid to stand up to me and treat me as an equal? Who else would understand me when I let them know what Tom put me through?

Who already did?

"It's always been Harry." I whispered, knowing there was no point in lying.

He nodded solemnly, "I just hope you can be happy, really."

"I know. And Dean you really are a great guy it's just-'

"Not right for you." I nodded. "Ok…well, I guess…goodbye Ginny."

"Bye Dean."

Though the break up with Dean was harder than the one with Michael, I was genuinely ok with it. The only times I missed having him was when I would walk the hallways alone with no one there holding my hand, but it didn't take long for that to change.

Quidditch went on as normal as the team's spirits soared when Katie and Ron rejoined the team. We were glad to see Mclaggen go. My personality returned as well I was going about joking around during practice making everyone laugh, especially Harry. Maybe it was my imagination but, it was as though he was glad to have an excuse to look at me. But nonetheless I was glad to finally be the cause of his smiles. But that didn't mean he hadn't taken any more bludger hits. He was distracted…

"So what are you going to do about Mr. Potter over there?" Katie zoomed up to me in the middle of one of our practices.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, if he continues like this, we might not have a functioning captain by the end of the week." she smirked nodding over to Harry, who at the moment had the beaters running drills. He seemed so determined so focused, and yet the smile on his face just showed how content he was with our progress and well… everything. Other than his mysterious lessons with Dumbledore every so often it seemed things were getting back on track, more that could be said for us in years. I watched him with Katie beside me and I wouldn't have been surprised if she could hear my heart pounding.

"And what could I possibly do about that?" I asked her.

Katie's smirk went from slight to full blown. "Hmmm… I don't know…maybe just snog him senseless and give him back some piece of mind."

"What!" I shrieked a little too loudly swerving on my broomstick a bit from shock of how strong my response came. I guess the reason for it was because before she said it, snogging him senseless was just what was going on in my head, being called out on it was completely unexpected.

"Oh please Weasley. It's me. Katie, Fred and George's best friend, the one who knows all about your history with a certain infatuation on a green eyed boy?" she laughed when I blushed. "Ginny, come on don't; you remember your first years here? You admitted to me, begrudgingly might I add, that you wanted two things. To be Chaser on the Gryffindor team and Harry Potter."

"Begrudgingly? Bell, you practically forced it out of me. But I don't blame you it blame the twins." I shook my head at the memories. "still, what does that have to do with our captain and his recent bludger hits?" I knew perfectly well what she meant but playing dumb was the safest choice.

"Ginny you know if you act now you can have both of the things you always wanted? You're one of my best friends, and if I have to push you towards him I will."

"Katie, I have no idea what to say to that."

"How about the-"

"HEY! I'm MISSING TWO THIRDS OF MY CHASERS!" we both looked up to see Harry making his way over to us. "What's going on here? Gossiping during practice? I thought better of you two." his voice was serous but we knew him well enough to see his joke.

"Sorry, major news in the world of females." Katie smiled winking at me.

Harry narrowed his eyes, "Can't really respond to that. But let's get back to work alright?'

"Of course Captain Obvious." and with that last remark she accelerated past us causing enough wind to practically knock me off my broom.

"Bloody!" was all Harry said before he caught my elbow balancing me.

I tried to ignore the tingle it sent up my arm but it was more difficult than it should have been. I pulled my arm away. "I can keep my own on a broom thank you very much."

"Obviously you can, if not you wouldn't be on the team." he said matter-of-factly.

"I wasn't about to fall off." I lied.

"And I wasn't about to let you fall." He shot back acknowledging my lie.

"OF course not," I said smiling, "It's part of the hero complex you have."

"Hermione's got you convinced of the too?"

"Nah," I whispered as though everyone could have heard us. "I've known about it for years, I witnessed it first hand remember?"

He leaned in, "How could I forget?"

"You do sometimes."

"Yea but not anymore."

"Really?"

"Really."

His smile was just so contagious; it created the most attractive little wrinkle just below his eyes that you could only see from close up. I couldn't help but give him a dazzling smile back.

"So what was Katie going on about?"

"No idea."

"You're lying."

"Don't you know it?"

And I left him sitting there in mid air going to join Demelza and Katie.

He walked with me to and from practice and classes, not holding my hand but still. We talked all the time however the moments we spent alone were close to none, after a few seconds someone mainly Ron would come trudging along and we would include them in our conversation. When Ron was the one to catch up to us I would always sense Harry tense, and that's when it became clear.

Harry was worrying about my brother's reaction, what would he think if his best mate started seeing his little sister? And the bothered me to no end. Ron seemed oblivious to Harry and I becoming closer, and neither of them would ever get the courage to talk to each other about it if he had noticed. I knew and understood that Harry valued Ron's opinion more than anyone else's, he wouldn't to do anything that would risk or harm their friendship.

So I was stuck. And suddenly, I wanted Harry Potter more than ever wanted him before. Only because I knew it could actually happen. I remember being so happy one moment then grumpy and frustrated the next, things were becoming to complicated for my taste.

Complicated became a bold letter word a few days later.

Hermione and I were in the Common Room when Ron told us something was happening with Harry. "He was covered in blood! Again! He ran up to me telling me to give him my potions book. It was so strange." Ron looked down. "I think he's in trouble."

"Well that wouldn't be out of the ordinary." I muttered.

Hermione shook her head, "I bet it has something to do with the Half Blood Prince. I keep telling him-"

"Who's the Half Blood Prince?" I asked.

"The owner of his potions book, well the original anyway, the Half Blood Prince wrote all over that book footnotes and Harry has been following each one to the letter, that's how he's been doing so well in class! But he doesn't even know who it is! I just think it's wrong, it doesn't feel right."

I sat, frozen in shock and disbelief. What Hermione said couldn't have been true. But then I was sent back to the night I found Harry in the common room reading his potions book, the same night I convinced myself I was over him. I had seen the writing of the Half Blood Prince, she was telling the truth. It didn't take long for Harry to turn up.

He sat with his head in his hands as he told us the tale of how he almost murdered Draco Malfoy in the bathroom using one of the spells in the foot notes of his potions book. He said he had no idea what It was going to do before he used it. Ron had gone pale while Hermione sat visibly fuming. I just couldn't find any words.

Harry was ashamed of what he had done, but was defending the Half Blood Prince, still. I had enough of a headache to continue to hear her.

"Give it a rest Hermione! By the sound of it Malfoy was trying to use an unforgivable curse, you should be glad Harry had something good up his sleeve!"

"Well of course I'm glad what wasn't cursed!" she told me.  
>"But you can't call that sectumsempra spell good Ginny, look where it's landed him! And I'd thought, seeing what this has done to your chances in the match-"<p>

I interrupted her, "Oh don't act like you understand Quidditch, you'll only embarrass yourself." Hermione and I were never cross with each other so the three of them sat it silent shock. I was too mad to apologize.

"So seeing that I have detention with Snape every Saturday for the rest of the year, Hermione is right, I won't be playing anymore." Harry said softly.

"But…but the quidditch final!" Ron stuttered.

"I know. Ginny will be playing seeker and Dean will rejoin the team as chaser again."

I looked away, I was in no way defending what Harry had done. I wasn't on his side, what he did hurt me, the only reason I spoke was because Hermione was getting annoying. So when Harry looked up at me I didn't meet his eyes.

"It's the only way that makes sense Ginny!" Harry pleaded when he saw that I wouldn't look at him. "She's the best choice for seeker, and you all know it."

"It's not that I don't agree mate…" Ron started, but he seemed to be at a loss for words. I finished for him.

"It's just unbelievable that this has to happen in the first place." With that I stood and walked out of the common room, having no desire to continue that conversation. I wanted to breathe by myself and pull it together, but Harry stopped me just outside the corridor.

"Gin!" I didn't turn around but he persisted. "Listen, I'm sorry." he looked down at his feet when I finally turned. "I know I let the team down, but I want to thank you for what you said in there."

I looked into his eyes and whispered, "The team?" I shook my head. "Just the team? Well yes, they'll be pretty upset when they find out that our star seeker won't be playing, but can you honestly not think of anyone in particular who might be more upset?" he pulled his eye brows together. "You can't, can you? No not when you're off taking orders from a book, hanging on to it's every word, a book that you just happened to come by. Treating it like a friend. I thought maybe you of all people would know better."

He was speechless, naturally, but I didn't care, it hurt to think that what happened to me never registered with him. He seemed to always forget what I went through, and what hurt worse was that aside from Dumbledore, he was the only one who really knew what happened, so it was like it meant nothing. I stood there for a moment. Resisting the urge to lean up and kiss him.

It was a random thought but I was so put of I felt like doing something rash.

But I didn't.

"You're right, I don't know what I was thinking, but Ginny you have to understand me, the Prince didn't do anything wrong!"

I sighed. "Harry if you're waiting for me to say, it's alright, go back and find that book and trust it again, no harm done; I can't, I won't."

He nodded slowly, "I guess you're right." he put his hands in his pockets and began to turn away, I could see that he was ashamed of himself, and I felt guilty. Sure what he did was wrong, but if anyone deserved a break, it was Harry.

"I believe you, you know."

"About what?" he asked.

"Malfoy being a Death Eater. Ron and Hermione just don't want to accept the worst."

"Really?"

"Yes." I turned again and walked away, feeling his eyes on my back as I did so.

When the final Quidditch match finally came there was no doubt Harry was reluctant to walk away from us to head to Snape's office. I felt bad for him, but I was more nervous about playing seeker, I hadn't played seeker for Gryffindor in over a year. Ironically enough, we were up against Ravenclaw, and I was playing opposite Cho Chang.

The team wasn't looking all too excited in the changing rooms; the nerves were getting to us. A lot rested on our shoulders, without a captain and original seeker the game was going to be hell. We knew that from experience. No one really spoke in the few moments before it started; I just smiled encouragingly at my brother who seemed about ready to show us his breakfast.

The moment the Quaffle left Madam Hooch's hand, I was air born. The adrenaline sparking up my interest and excitement for the first time all morning. I played smart and calm, taking my time to watch for the snitch, also watching the chasers and deciding how many points I was going to bargain before I caught it. Cho, as I couldn't help but notice, was zooming around frantically like that little house elf Dobby when Harry didn't have anything for him to do.

The score was close. We made a goal and Ravenclaw would follow immediately. I knew we needed over 200 points to get win the cup, Ravenclaw needed much less, so I began to sweat. I had to wait, but that didn't stop me from noticing that forty-five minutes into the game I hadn't seen a glance of the snitch yet.

Ron was doing well; he saved 4 out of 5 of the balls and was paying more attention to the game than the people in the stands. Dean and Demelza were actually a great pair they had the quaffle moving at blazing speeds. And gratefully, there had yet to be any injuries.

It had been an hour when one of the beaters on the other team was sent to the hospital wing, broken limb. "And back to the game," Smith was back commentating, unfortunately. "120 to 90, Ravenclaw, seems like Potter ruined the team's chances landing himself in detention, taking Weasley off her post of chaser isn't doing any good either.

Just then the snitch showed up, swirling around me before taking a quick plunge. I followed it determined, already blocking out the rest of the world, entering my seeker zone, as Harry and I called it. Only me, my broom and that glint of gold.

It took a few minutes for Cho to catch on but by then I knew I was going to get it, I had to. She came up on my right, her blue blur of a robe against my red one. Don't ask me why, to this day I still don't know what made me do it, what made me break out of my concentration, but I turned my head to look at her. She was pretty, I give her that, pretty enough to catch Michael's attention, pretty enough even to be preferred by Harry Potter. But that was it. This girl who I was so envious of for a few years, she didn't go to the Department of Mysteries, Harry had never told her about the order of the Phoenix or that his godfather was a framed mass murderer on the run. She knew nothing, like Michael, like Dean. She didn't have enough in her to keep Harry interested that's why it was easy for him to walk away. He didn't have time to dry her tears.

She met my eyes, we were shoulder to shoulder going over 65 miles an hour 150 feet in the air, but all I noticed at that moment was the fact that I didn't hate Cho Chang. As much as I thought I did, I didn't, I pitied her. She gave me a incredulous look and focused in front of her again, but it was too late, my hand had clasped around the ball.

The next few moments were a blur, I probably couldn't remember them if I tried, but I do remember Ron lifting up my hand that was still holding the ball and yelling, "FOR HARRY!" the crowd around us went wild.

The party in the common room was really our of hand, but incredibly fun. Music, banners and confetti, chorus' of Weasley is our King went around, from what I heard it had been lengthened to add a verse of Weasley is our Queen. Everyone was overjoyed at winning the cup again, but I was only waiting for Harry to show. He deserved to be there, but no doubt Snape was keeping him longer, he must have enjoyed the situation.

"Too bad Harry isn't here." A girl whom I knew from my year, Anarise, spoke up behind me, taking a swig of her butterbeer. She never really spoke much so the comment threw me off.

"Uh... Yea, but I know he'll be here any moment." I stood on the tips of my toes in the crowed room to search for Hermione or Demelza but all I saw were the heads of Dean and Seamus.

"Hi Ginny." Dean said softly, warily. "You did great today."

"Thanks Dean." there was a moment of awkward silence as we watch the party around us.

"So Ginny, on the subject of Harry, you have to tell me some stories, considering he's the man of the hour. You practically live with him there has to be something juicy you can tell us about." no doubt she was taking a page from Romilda's book, sure enough, Miss. Vane -no pun intended- herself was standing by the window watching us with a glass of pumpkin juice. A prominent smirk on her face. Anarise was waiting on me for an answer though that was the last thing I wanted to do. Dean let out a strained uncomfortable cough.

"Well…I Don't-"

"Is he seeing anyone?" she interrupted me. "You must at least know if he fancies someone." I knew for a fact that Anarise was a very devoted fan of Harry's I figured it didn't take long for Romilda to convince her to get some information out of me. Her blue eyes watched me excitedly, as I struggled with on of the most uncomfortable situations of my life. Why of all times did she have to carry out this plot in front of my ex boy friend. I had the urge to grab her butterbeer and pour it all down her front, well, maybe not, this girl was just under the influence pf Romilda, the butterbeer would be more appropriate down _her _front.

When I didn't answer Dean turn towards me with hurt eyes, "Harry's my roommate, he would have told me if he's seeing someone." he said, partly to me, partly to the girl standing beside me. I clearly heard the double meaning in his words.

"That's because he isn't." I said nonchalantly, taking a sip of my drink.

She smiled, "Oh good! I would just be a shame if a catch like him is taken." Curse her words!

"By someone other than yourself you mean." I muttered under my breath praying for something, someone to get out of there.

Dean heard what I said, but didn't comment nearly smiled half heartedly.

"I mean Harry Potter! The Chosen One, Ginny you're so lucky you know him so well, aren't you both extremely close? I wish I had that kind of relationship with him. Hey you never know, if he's single then…"

I bit my lip and held my cup tighter, if I had opened my mouth it wouldn't have been nice, I mean Harry wasn't mine, it wasn't like I had the right to be mad at her for saying such a thing, but it irked me extremely. Dean noticed and said, surprisingly,

"I wouldn't get my hopes up, I know Harry's type." Her face fell at his words, but I was looking at Dean he gave me a look that said it all, I turned away blushing. Thankfully I found a way to get out of that mess.

As I looked up Ron was pulling Harry into the center of the party. His face was so bright and shocked at our win.

"Excuse me." I pushed past the girl and the crowd of screaming people who were currently worshipping our captain, and rushed to him. I forgot all of my embarrassment of that last few minutes I just remember being so happy to see him, when he turned my way, and smiled back at me. Reaching him, I threw my arms around his necj and hugged the life out of him. Ii was so great to know that something as simple as a quidditch cup could raise his spirits so much…and that was my last thought before he kissed me.

Out of no where, in front of fifty people, Harry Potter kissed me, Ginny Weasley.

And people thought it would never happen.

It was amazing, everyone, everything faded away and we entered our own world where Voldemort didn't matter, the war didn't matter, my brother's didn't matter only each other. His lips were slow and loving, cherishing the moment as though he had waited for it so long. However, he hadn't waited as long as I had.

It wasn't like kissing Michael or Dean, there was something more, special. Maybe because I knew I had fallen in love with him, or maybe it was how his hand on my neck was sending goose bumps down my spine, or how I fit so well into his body. And my heart, rather than speeding up, it slowed down, making me feel light. I wasn't sure how long it was but at some point I pulled away and stared into his chest, wondering if that really had just happened.

There were whistles and a few giggles that broke out in the otherwise dead silent room. Hermione to my right was grinning like a fool and Ron just seemed rooted to the spot. I almost laughed when I caught that expression on his face again, it seemed to follow a pattern, as if I could ever forget. Harry must have seen it too, I guessed the only person he would care about then was Ron. I looked up and met his eyes, almost dazed, I had never seem him look so happy, I like I said before back when I told you about the summer I met Sirius, this was the first time I had ever seen him completely happy, with me. The first time he ever kissed me.

I was almost sure I was dreaming at that point but then he nodded to the door and I smiled. We walked out of the common room, leaving everyone still speechless in our way.

I made sure not to miss Romilda's face


	15. Someone Else's Life

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

**Entry 14: Someone Else's Life**

"_Before I fall, too fast  
>Kiss me quick, but make it last,<br>So I can see how badly this will hurt me, when you say goodbye._

_Keep it sweet, _

_Keep it slow,_

_Let the future pass and don't let go,_

_Cause tonight I could fall too soon under this beautiful, _

_Moonlight,_

_Cause you're so hypnotizing you've got me laughing while I sing_

_You'be got me smiling in my sleep…"  
>-Catch Me Demi Lovato<em>

The very first time Harry and I visited the hidden, shaded bank by the Black Lake together was right after our first kiss. We spent most of our alone time there, where no one could find us and we had all the time in the world to discover what we had been missing out on for so long.

My relationship with Harry has always been about helping each other up and through the hard times that fate threw at us, from the Chamber of Secrets to the Department of Mysteries.

But those first few weeks in my fifth year that we had before all hell broke loose, would be weeks I would cherish forever. It was the calm before the storm.

It was spring of 1996. Yes, now you see what I mean by right before everything came crashing down. If you aren't good with history, or well dates, then just wait a bit while I tell you about the best- and worst- times of my life.

The moment we both stepped out of the portrait hole the nerves kicked in. Not the blinding sick nerves but ones of excitement and anxiety. I could tell he felt embarrassed for his actions just a minute before, you already know that Harry isn't that rash with girls, which made me curious to hear what he had to say for himself. Still, I felt honored that I was the one to drive him to such bold measures.

And so, I daringly threaded my fingers through his and headed down the staircases. He followed enthusiastically with a smile playing across his face, making me sure he didn't regret what he had done. Merlin knew _I_ didn't. We had much to talk about but they weren't conversations meant for public.

"Where are we going?" I asked him we he suddenly took the lead and began to pull me along.

"The lake," he replied. My face brightened at the thought but unfortunately he couldn't see my reaction. He stopped abruptly causing me to crash forcefully into his back. "That is…if you want."

I couldn't believe that he sounded unsure of himself! "Are you serious?"

He turned around and gave me a sheepish smile, "No, I'm Harry."

"That Mr. Potter," I said pointing up at him, "Was a bad joke."

"Well you left it right open!"

"I guess you're right," I laughed- but then just as quickly faced him sincerely, squeezing his hand, "The lake sounds perfect."

I led now, excited, still feeling the soft tingle on my lips where his had been. It was as though I was on this high that no one could ever bring me down from; for years I had wanted to be with Harry, I wanted to be the object of his attention only because I understood him better than most- now I had my chance. Yet, I wasn't too stunned to function cohesively and that surprised me; the fact that I was calm and collected proved that my patience had been rewarded. Harry and I had been good friends first, and it made things a heck of a lot easier.

We wound our way down the stairs together, silently, fingers intertwined, and completely comfortable. But of course being as popular as Harry, and well I guess by that time I already held my own well known status, there was nothing possible to prevent the whispers. They must have been second nature to Harry by now and they didn't register to me much either. Being a Weasley, the chaser of the Gryffindor team, and one of the people involved in the Ministry fiasco, I had my history of stares and whispers but I found it kind of extreme when we passed two younger Ravenclaws.

The first girl stopped dead in her tracks, riotously shaken at the sight of our hands, while the other- who was so completely consumed in her text book- crashed right into her back.

Harry laughed.

"Well," I said, "That's what they get for staring so rudely."

He tugged on my hand, "Let them, it's not like we can prevent the inevitable anyway."

I slowed and thought for a moment, "You're right, every person in the school gossips like old women. I give it two hours before every creature on the grounds knows."

He furrowed his eye brows but smirked, "Have some faith; let's give it until dinner."

"You're on."

"Hmm. Seems like your competitiveness streak hasn't worn off from the match." With that he pulled me forward outside so that I was running to keep up.

"Well, now I know why you are so fond of Quidditch, where else can you release all of this energy?" I called, "Obviously Snape didn't have you cleaning cauldrons with a spoon."

"Actually I had to act as though the punishment was terrible. He had me rewrite old detention slips. Most from my father, and the Maraders. I got to imagine their schemes."

I laughed, "That's interesting; I had a feeling you would have been more distracted with the game going on."

And yet again I found myself bumping into him. "Trust me I was distracted," he was blushing. Harry James Potter was blushing. Around me. For me. _Because _of me. I would have given anything to find out why.

"You were? Then why?"

"I really wanted to see it. I _should_ have been playing,"

"We've had this conversation already, but it doesn't explain the blush."

"What blush?" he asked innocently trying to maneuver the conversation elsewhere.

I gave him a pointed look but then soften it. "You know what? I'll return the favor, I saw no blush."

With all the times Harry had pretended not to notice my own embarrassment without fooling the mickey out of me, the least I could do was drop the subject, no matter how much I wanted to know what he was thinking. He picked up the pace again, now seeing the lake in our path- obviously bent on making it over there in record speed.

I came to realize that with two people as stubborn and take charge as Harry and I the debacle over who would lead who to the lake wasn't going to be resolved at any time soon. And so I pulled him back slowing him so that we walked side by side, together. He laughed a bit at this but complied none the less.

"Where to now Mr. Potter?" I asked once we reached the lake's shore.

"Why don't we take a walk around it?"

"Sounds good to me."

We started hand in hand, silently once again. One thing I loved most about my relationship with Harry was that there wasn't ever an uncomfortable moment between us, with Dean and Michael, moments like that had been awkward and strange, no matter how long we had been dating. With Harry, it was just calm and peaceful. There was never a need for constant conversation, constant action with us, maybe it was because of all we had to go through when we weren't together, our time together was an escape into the lives we wanted. The ones where we had some kind of control.

Just a small touch or look fed us more than any conversation.

I remember that grin he was wearing broadly on his face; he was watching the lake and seemed so content. If anyone passed by him and didn't know who he was they would say that he thought all was right with the world.

"A knut for your thoughts?"

He turned to me, and like I was little again his eyes gave me that swooping sensation that knocked my porridge bowl under the table and plunged my elbow into the butter dish so many years prior.

"You'd get bored pretty fast," he shrugged then slyly added, "Had it been any other day."

I concealed my smile. "You've peaked my interest," I said seriously, trying to sound as best as I could like McGonagall.

Taking a deep breath he replied, "I'm trying to figure out why in Merlin's name I did what I did. Why I'm _doing_ what I'm doing."

That's what I had expected him to say, but it still stung enough for me to drop his hand as though it were an untested project of Fred and George. He _didn't_ want this.

"Oh," I blushed looking away.

Harry stopped, "Ginny! You asked me what I was thinking," he said taking my hand once more as I reluctantly let him. "The least you can do is wait until I finish, and not interrupt."

I bit my lip, not sure if I wanted to hear the rest.

"What was I thinking! Obviously I _wasn't_. I wanted to get you alone, tell you how I felt and wait until I knew how you felt too before I did anything rash." I looked up at him curiously. "I didn't mean to ambush you in front of everyone…and your brother." He let the last bit weigh heavily in the air. "And then I just run off with you! _Still_ not knowing if you felt the same. I feel like a git for doing that, and your bothers are going to kill me, but I can't find it in me to regret it, or stop," he sighed running a hand through the mess on his head.

"Then don't," I said simply with a shrug. He smiled but continued to walk in silence. "For the record my brothers won't kill you, you know."

"How can you be so sure?"

"You'd be surprised, Fred and George have always made it quite obvious they wanted me to end up with you, and the others… well Harry you're practically part of the family already so I guess in their minds if I were to end up with anyone they'd rather it be you." Despite the fact that we had just snogged each other senseless and he was holding my hand as we walked I still blushed at the confession.

"That makes sense I guess. But there we go again! I am with the most amazing girl I know, knowing what I want, what her six older brothers want, but I have no clue as to what _she_ wants," he cried out exasperated as I stepped in front of him. "Doesn't that make me some kind of horrible person?" he asked me raising our twined hands.

I touched his face, "It makes you thick."

"What?"

"I said it makes you thick. Harry you should know that the only reason I'm here right now is because I want to be, you of all people should know that I don't let anyone make me do things I don't want to do. And considering the fact that you're not in the hospital wing right now, you should figure that I didn't object to you kissing me."

"True."

"I've liked you for so long Harry, how could you doubt that?"

He gaped at me, slumping down until he reached the ground with a thud. "But you had Michael! And Dean!"

I followed his lead by planting myself before him so that our knees were touching. "Michael and I were falling apart before we even got together; honestly, I just tried to like him to get over you...and _Dean_…"

"I understand if you don't want to talk about it," he said stroking my palm, sending goose bumps all the way up to my elbows. I smiled, with his experience with Cho I'm sure he thought some water works were coming.

"No, it's just that, we ended because we both admitted to ourselves that I was still not over you." I blushed again concentrating on the grass blade my free hand was pulling at.

Harry boldly lifted his hand to my burning face, "I missed that blush."

"Oh be quiet, I know you didn't."

"Well I guess there's one thing left to do."

"What's that?"

He took in a deep breath and turned to me seriously. "Gin? Will you be my girlfriend?"

I took a moment to answer, only because I was committing the moment to memory. Obviously I did succeed in remembering each and every detail since I can know easily tell you how amazing it felt to get everything you wanted in one day: the cup, the kiss, the boy. Pinching myself was just too risky- there was no way I was popping this bubble of joy.

Maybe if you wanted something more than anything thing else, if you will it to happen, you can get it, with patience and understanding. I guess anything was possible, if you had enough nerve.

"I don't know…" I said.

"But- I- well-"

"Sorry, Harry. I just think it's going to take more convincing on your part." He bit his lip, obviously strung high on his rope not sure of what to do, or what I was getting at. And so I decided to even the score, leaning in on my knees I stopped mere inches from his face.

And when he finally seemed to comprehend the only thing he had time to say was a whispered, "Oh."

Just like the first time, we melted into a comfortable embrace as though we had been kissing each other for years, yet it was so new and exciting. However, unlike the first kiss this one was more passionate, faster. My hands were lost in his hair which felt softer than I imagined, his hand were grasping my sides just above my waist. It was so amazing to have them on me no matter how much my knees complained.

As though he read my mind Harry situated me easily on his lap.

"Ginny?" he breathed when he caught a chance. "Are we…I mean…we haven't even…" he managed to get out between kisses. "Moving too fast?" his words were mumbles but sincere. Nevertheless I could tell he was reluctant to stop any of this.

My only response was to kiss him deeper, letting my tongue poke at his bottom lip. Sighing happily he pulled me closer, only to speak again moments later. "Really Ginny…Don't you think-"

I pulled away. "Harry?"

"Yeah?" his voice cracked.

"Are you uncomfortable with this?"

"No."

"Are you trying to say we don't know each other well enough yet?"

"No."

"Are you saying to want to stop?"

"Bloody hell, no."

"Then shut up."

As if he had a choice, my lips had their own agenda.

A while later we were still lying by the lake calmly conversing about the match, when I remembered something fatally important.

"By the way Harry, I would very much like to be your girlfriend."

I couldn't see it but I could sense his grin; he stroked my hair. "Thanks."

Walking into the Great Hall was one of those moments that is so uncomfortably awkward, most people wouldn't be able to take it. However obviously, Harry and I, we weren't most people.

"And no one has seen them since!" we heard a voice say animatedly somewhere behind us. Harry pulled me around a corner.

"What are you doing?" I asked watching him press against the wall.

"Shh!" he told me pointing to his ear, "I want to hear what they're saying."

"No doubt they're locked up in come broom closet finishing up what was going on in the Gryffindor common room."

Instantly, I backed up on the wall beside Harry. The voices were getting louder as the footsteps got closer. "Of course it would _have_ to be Potter, the Chosen One," added a male voice. "the Boy-Who-Lived gets one of the prettiest girls in school." I blushed, but Harry's smile was smug. I nudged him in the ribs.

"What was that for?" He asked although I could tell her knew exactly what it was. "What do you want me to disagree with him? Sorry, can't do that."

I wasn't really about to argue.

"And naturally it _had_ to be Weasley! Can you believe it? Out of nowhere she just up and snatches Harry Potter! Hardly fair." A girl's voice sounded disappointed. It was my turn to feel smug.

"They'll be the talk of the rest of the year, those two, bet you anything they won't even show up for dinner."

"If Harry Potter kissed _me_ in front a good fourth of the school, not only would we not show up for dinner, but my teachers would be lucky if I made in class once in the whole week."

It was then that they showed up, two girls and one boy all from Hufflepuff making their way down to dinner, luckily they hadn't spotted us. We stayed silent until their footsteps disappeared.

"So," I started, "seems like you were right, seems like everyone found out by dinner."

"One of the only things I've been right about lately," responded Harry suddenly sounding a tad dark and gloomy.

"Hey," I said teasingly, "You follow your gut, what's so bad about that? If it weren't for your gut you wouldn't have kissed me today, stirring up the entire school, making everyone's day a little more interesting."

"If it weren't for my gut, Malfoy wouldn't be up in the hospital wing, I would have played the quidditch final, and…Sirius would still be alive."

I turned to him surprised; no one had brought up the Sirius issue in a while. "Harry? Where is all this coming from?"

"I've been thinking a lot lately, especially since Ron and Hermione only just started tolerating each other again, I just haven't really told anyone... I'm sorry I'm ruining the mood aren't I? Didn't mean to do that, just spoke before I noticed I guess." His eyes wandered anywhere but me, I bit my lip seeing just how much he was still hurting. I was still hurting too, thinking of Sirius was never easy. Harry and I spoke more often that year, but there was never a confession like the one at the moment.

"Harry," I took his face in my hands so he would have no choice but to look at me. "You can tell me anything, I want you to know that, opening up to me isn't a bad thing, I _want_ you to. _Doubting_ yourself is the bad thing. So you are off sometimes, most often than not you _are _right. It doesn't make everything your fault." He nodded. "However, with Malfoy, it _was_ your fault," I scolded, "but he deserved it so it's beside the point."

My attempt at lightening the mood seemed to work. "Thanks," he smiled and bent down to peck my lips.

"We'll talk more about this later, yeah?"

"Yes."

"Good because I'm hungry, and I know you haven't eaten all day so you must be starved too."

"To be honest, I haven't even realized."

"I'm flattered."

Taking my hand again we made our way to the entrance of the Great Hall, "Here we go," he muttered sarcastically only loud enough for my ears.

The moment we stepped foot inside the dining room, every bloody student in the room fell silent. Of course. Because Harry Potter dating Ginny Weasley was the farthest thing anyone could have imagined. Except for Hermione of course but she knew everything anyway. I could tell we had been the object of every conversation roaming around the room by the way all eyes snapped over to us.

We didn't stop until we reached the empty spot by Hermione, I was trying not to blush and Harry was trying hard to act like he noticed nothing. I caught Dumbledore's expression at some point. I can still remember the gleam in his eye and the prominent smirk he flashed my way too quickly for anyone other than myself to see. I nodded back at him once just as an understanding gesture. McGonagall was obviously trying to be indifferent, as though it was just another couple in her house, but there was something in the way she watched Harry that made me suspect she cared much more than she let on.

"Pass the turkey would you?" Harry asked Ron already setting up his plate, his voice being the only other one in the room. I followed suit. Ron just gaped at him, wide eyed and shocked. Harry sighed, "Katie?"

Without a word Katie grabbed the larger platter and passed it to him, sneaking in a wink in my direction. "So Minerva have you at all spoken to Professor Gubbly-Plank, about how she is enjoying her retirement?" The completely random comment had come from the head table, each student turned to find Professor Dumbledore waiting for McGonagall to respond. She seemed to get the hint.

"Why yes Albus I have, she is out traveling all the places Bathilda Bagshot spoke of in her newest book…" I got bored. The fact was that the tension was severed, and the attention was off of us or about 30 seconds. However, that was enough time for Hermione to help as well.

"Has anyone finished the 16 inches Flitwick assigned us on the advantages and disadvantages of a proper vanishing spell?"

Neville dropped his fork, "Finished?" he croaked, "I thought that was due next week!"

"One slice or two Gin?" Harry asked me, knowing already it wasn't a question on whether I wanted turkey or not, but how much I wanted.

"Two."

Ron rolled his eyes. "Of course it's due next week! Hermione would be the only one done."

"I never said I was finished Ronald, what's got your mood all twisted? You've been in a particularly good mood since Lavender…and winning the cup."

I busied myself by stuffing my face; I hadn't realized just how much skipping lunch did _not_ suit me.

Harry on the other hand, was bouncing his leg beneath the table. I slipped one hand under and placed it encouragingly on his knee. His leg came to an abrupt stop.

"I'm not in a _mood_ Hermione, it must be your imagination." His face was pretty interesting, he seemed amused, yet uncomfortable. I knew Ron would rather have me with Harry than any other guy but I'm sure he never saw that coming.

_ "_So the paper _is_ due next week right?" Neville had yet to pick up his fork.

"Yes Neville," Hermione assured him.

The hall was now at its regular volume; the eerie silence long gone, they were all analyzing every move Harry and I made. I stole a glance at Harry, besides the obvious jovial expression I could tell he was worrying about damage control, I was proven right when he murmured to me; "I don't think I'm Dean's favorite person right now."

I looked over to him, an unsurprisingly he did not look pleased. Dean was slumped over his plate pushing around the food half heartedly. "Well, I mean he knew it was going to happen."

"But he didn't look all too happy when we left the common room earlier."

"I think he was just shocked, it was all so sudden. Everyone was stunned."

"Again, maybe I should have reconsidered that spur of the moment decision."

I smiled and batted my eyelashes, "Anything that would have had me waiting any longer would _not _have been the best idea." the sarcasm was evident.

"Why do I get the feeling that if I hadn't kissed you right then and there it would have been you to kiss _me_?"

"Because you know me well."

He laughed and I hoped it was enough to lighten his nerves about my brother.

Ron looked over at me when hearing us laugh, thankfully Harry wasn't paying attention. He stared at me blankly for a moment; I almost believed he wasn't actually seeing me. Then he smiled, and went back to bantering with Hermione.

Dinner went without incident after that. Ron didn't pay much more attention to us while we ate, as Harry and I tried not to be entirely engrossed with each other, like we had been all day, for the sake of everyone around us. Hermione, in her very un-clandestine manner, shot me glances assuring me that there would be a full interrogation in the common room, directed by her.

Students shuffled out ready to lounge in their respective houses for a Saturday evening. Harry and I left when the crowed thinned as to not become a spectacle again.

When he took my hand I saw that it was going to get some taking used to, it was all so fresh that it caught me by surprise each time. But in a very, _very_ good way.

"Hey Harry, hey Ginny," Luna Lovegood smiled hazily from behind us.

"Hi Luna," I beamed back; suddenly aware of the very little time we had spent together lately.

"How have things been Luna?" Harry asked.

"Just fine Harry, thanks. I wanted to congratulate you on the fligils."

Nargles and Wackspurts I had heard of, from the amount of talking she does of them I'm almost an expert as well. The creatures my friend so deeply believes in are to say the least original and unlikely but I have come to believe in them too. If an animal can have the head and wings of an eagle, but the body, legs and tail of a horse, why can't Wakspurts float around in your ears?

But now _Fligils?_ I'd known Luna for a very long time, with her home being located just by the Burrow we had been friends ever since we were little, I loved her to death but it was times like this where she threw me off for a whirl spin. "The what?"

"Have you never heard of them? That's odd." Her peculiar expression proved that _I _was the crazy one. I mean I guess _everyone_ knew what Fligils were; it must have just been me.

I highly doubted that.

"They feed off of people who are so obviously in love. They're what make you clumsy and goofy; they make you feel light and happy all the time. I guess they are also known now as love bugs, but I think that's a ridiculous name, father and I prefer to call them by their real name, Fligils."

Ahh, so maybe I had heard of them. Still, I flushed at the comment about love. I knew I had fallen for Harry but I was positive he didn't feel that strongly.

Yet.

"Thank you Luna," Harry laughed brightly, "It's always nice to er…be congratulated for this…accomplishment."

Playfully pushing him, I said, "Yes, Luna, thank you."

I felt Harry beside me trying to conceal his laughter. I knew he liked Luna a lot, but times like these were -to say the least- down right hysterical.

"Although, I must say they took their time with you," she continued her love bug examination, "Fligils usually act quickly in bringing people together. What I mean to say is: I thought this would have happened years ago, especially with Ginny telling me for so long how much she lov-"

I saw where the conversation was headed.

"Ok Luna! I don't think Harry needs to know all the details."

To my utter dismay this didn't go unnoticed by my boyfriend. "Wait Luna, I think I do."

"Details aren't all that important I guess, all that matter is the bigger picture, right? You're here now what does it matter how long it took or what you went through?"

Leave it to Luna to wrap everything up soundly in her own logic.

"But I must say the amount of Fligils in your system is impressive, the more Fligils the stronger the bond is, you know. Considering how much you have, I hope you don't pick orange as the color for my bridesmaid dress Ginny. I don't particularly look good in orange. Well I Best be off. Father had me on a lead for a new Quibbler story that I still need to research in the library. I'll see you soon!"

And with that her silvery hair flounced away leaving us very winded… and _very_ red faced.

"Er…" he coughed, "bridesmaid…dress?"

I turned an even deeper red if it was possible. "Well you see… Luna and I have been friends since we were little, and what little girls don't plan their weddings together promising each other they'd be bride maids?"

"Well I wouldn't know…that's sweet though."

"Yes it is."

"So if you plan your whole wedding, don't you have to plan the most important part as well?"

"You mean the flowers?"

I knew what he was getting at but decided to pull his leg.

"No I don't mean the flowers! Ginny-"

"I was joking Harry."

He sighed "I meant: what did you plan for the groom?"

"We left him out- he's the part that come in at the last minute," I lied through my teeth.

"That's a joke too right?"

"No it's not, think about it- you plan everything. Then the man of your dreams kneels down asks you to marry him and BAM! That's the last piece, everything is ready to go." So many lies…it was just too easy.

"That's not how it works you know, usually the kneeling comes _before_ the planning." Darn.

"But everything is different in the world of little girls Harry."

"You want to know what I think?"

I didn't. Merlin knows I didn't.

"I think- you are avoiding the answer."

He _had_ to be smart? "To what?"

"To who you planned on as the groom."

"I already told you-"

"Never mind Ginny I already know the answer to that anyway." He started walking leaving me behind I was almost certain I saw a glimpse of a smirk.

Not. Good.

"You do, do you?"

"Of course I do, I know a lot about Ron, he's my best mate; he tells me everything. Why would he leave out the fact that his baby sister used to go around pretending she was going to marry the Boy-Who-Lived?"

"I'll kill him."

"Don't. It's very sweet, and flattering I might add."

I hadn't realized that I had _voiced _my last comment. No matter.

"Don't get a big head over it, I hadn't even met you."

"But now you have."

"What do you mean by that?"

He stopped just in front of the common room door and kissed me softly, resting his hands on my waist. "I mean I should be thanking the Fligils."

"Thank you…" I murmured before he captured my lips again.

"Oh it's like history repeating itself!" we heard a woman cry. I groaned as I pulled away from him. We turned to the Fat Lady who was on the edge of tears. "How you two remind me of your parents! God rest their souls."

I wasn't sure how Harry was going to take that, surprisingly he smiled. "Hmm… I never thought of that. You're right."

Lily and James Potter.

_Lily and James Potter._

We resembled Lily and James Potter. What was it that Sirius had told me that summer? The comment about Potter's and their red heads! I smiled in spite of myself.

"Sirius told me the same thing too."

Harry turned to me stunned, "What?"

"The summer before last. He found out about my crush on you, and he figured you felt the same way about me. He told me we reminded him of your parents. I set him straight though."

Harry was lost in thought for a heartbeat and then he came to a realization. "That night…"

"What night?"

"The night I came down to dinner after locking myself up in a room in Grimmuald Place, the night you knocked some sense into me, I found you crying on Sirius' shoulder."

It all came back to me in a rush, the only time I had ever broken down like that, the only time I had ever let anyone see me cry.

I missed Sirius terribly. "What about that night?"

"He told me you were fine, but I knew there was something wrong. He told me, 'If you never find out, then I was wrong and she was right, but you are a smart boy, you'll come to your senses sooner or later.' I had no idea what he meant."

"And?" I asked missing the point in all this.

Harry stepped closer again caressing my cheek. "And now I have come to my senses."

"I never took you as a sap Harry Potter."

"A sap?"

"Yes but a very cute sap. _My_ sap," I laughed kissing him for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

"Let's go, it's time to face the music."

The Common Room was busy as always the banners were still hung, now sagging and the confetti littered the carpet. Ron and Hermione were seated in their usual spots heads close together in serious conversation.

"Harry! Ginny!" Seamus boomed squandering over to us, he was just a little punch drunk from what I could see. Obviously he consumed most of the left over drinks from the celebrations. "Just wanted to give my condolences to the new couple! Not everyday something good happens around here!" I was very aware of the attention he was gathering.

"Uh…Seamus maybe you should sit down-"

"No! I'm alright! You two are just- beautiful together!" he cried leaning onto Harry's shoulder.

"Mate! Really you should-" but Harry's words were no use- Seamus had already collapsed into the couch, which was unfortunately already occupied.

Not surprising however, all Gryffindors were accustomed to his antics, and so without missing a beat the fourth year girls who were seated there shoved him off onto the floor and continued their conversation.

I shrugged.

During the commotion Ron and Hermione tore away from themselves and became aware of us. Ron stood silently nodded and swiftly fled up the stairs. Harry watched after him.

"Go."

"Yea…I have a feeling this isn't going to be easy."

"It'll be fine, Ron can be a git sometime's but he wants us to be happy. He'll understand, besides what I told you about my brothers applies to him too."

Harry looked down at me sheepishly. "I knew there was a reason I liked you."

"You mean other than my wand work and clever wit?"

"More reasons than you will ever know."

I blushed. "Go talk to my brother Potter."

He kissed my cheek, "See you later, yeah?"

"Of course." Without another word he took a breath to steady himself and followed the path my brother had just taken. I stood there until the door to the sixth year boy's dormitory closed shut.

"Ahem."

"Yes, I know you're waiting Hermione," I said without turning around. I knew that this could go two ways, embarrassing or pride damaging. It was going to be both and I knew it. I turned slowly and made my way to the chair Ron had vacated seating myself I made sure not to meet her eyes. We sat there in a terribly awkward silence for what seemed like forever. I wondered if something like this was going on upstairs.

Perhaps Harry was right.

Hermione cleared her throat again, and I reluctantly looked at her. She was perched at the edge of her seat words hanging on the edge of her lips.

She wanted to say it.

I bit my lip and looked at my hands, as I felt her stare bore into my head.

She was dying to say it.

However, she wanted me to say something first, and really what was there to say that she already didn't know? I noticed her foot tapping.

The words were on the tip of her tongue.

Another moment of silence passed before,

"I told you so!" I knew it.

"Ugh, Hermione can we not get into this?"

"Ginny, I told you and you didn't believe me. If you would have listened this would have happened a while ago."

I lifted my chin stubbornly, "I'm fine with when and how it happened thank you very much."

She raised an eyebrow. "Please. I know you too well Ginny."

"Maybe you do, but that doesn't change the fact that I was with Dean."

"And you broke up with him two days later, but you wouldn't admit it."

"Is that all you want to talk about? Cause if it is I think I'd rather just go to bed."

I began to stand when she grabbed my wrist and threw me back into the chair with a force that rivaled a stunning charm. "Alright! I'll drop the subject. Tell me about what happened when you left the common room."

"We took a walk around the lake."

"Is that all you're going to tell me?"

"Do you honestly want to know all the details about me and Harry? Wouldn't that sort of be like you telling me all the details of you and Ron?"

"Ginny!"

"Ok. Ok! I get it, you _aren't _together. But still the same concept applies."

She raised another eyebrow. "You really don't want to talk about it?"

Sighing I gave up. "Fine you were right, he's liked me since the beginning of the school year, but I had Dean. We took a walk around the lake, and he asked me to be his girlfriend."

"And what did you say?" Hermione Granger stared at me with her wide eyes practically bulging out of their sockets. She was so excited to hear my next words she didn't realize how stupid she sounded. I just gazed at her blankly.

After a minute of waiting she still hadn't said anything. "I told him he was a terrible kisser and to never come near me again."

"WHAT?"

"Hermione what the bloody hell did you think I told him? Obviously I said yes!"

She crossed her arms and sat back. "Hmp. I thought it would be a little more interesting than that."

"Well it was. Harry Potter finally asked me out. I think that counts as a little bit interesting."

"If you hadn't already seen it coming."

"Buzz kill."

"Sarcastic witch."

We stared at each other with narrowed eyes. "And for your information, he's an incredible kisser."

"That's all I wanted to hear." And with that my best friend stood and made her way up to her room. Completely alone, I let my happiness of the day engulf me.

Now when Harry walked me to class he held my hand.

He stole some kisses, and now that Quidditch was over the time we usually had for practice we spent by the lake. We sat next to each other during every meal, telling each other everything and anything that crossed our minds. The only thing that put a damper on everything was the fact that my O. were coming closer and I had to study with every ounce of free time I had.

"How did you do it?" I cried out in frustration slamming my book closed. I was lying out in the grass under our tree as Harry played with my hair. Doing nothing. Lucky.

"How did I do what?"

"In all the mess of last year how did you actually manage to learn all this stuff and pass practically everything?"

"Gin, you're doing just fine, you are way better than me at all the book work, almost as good as Hermione, why are you having trouble _now_?"

"I never said I was having trouble. I asked how you did it. Last year I could hardly concentrate on anything other than how bad I wanted to hex Umbridge into a million pieces, but _you _actually had to handle all this too. I'm feeling my brain being fried from all this!" I waved my arm around the explosion of books and parchment I had everywhere.

"No idea," he sighed and closed his eyes again enjoying the sun.

Deciding I needed a break I pushed everything away from me and stared at him. Gosh he was handsome. And just laying there in the sun, care free…where was Colin when you needed him?

I moved over and straddled his waist, he didn't open his eyes but a smile grew on his face. "You should be studying…"

"Not when you look like that. You're way too distracting."

He opened one eye, "Then I should leave, your grades are much more important."

"You move, you're hexed."

"You got me there." I leaned down and kissed him softly, both my hands in the grass on either side of his head. "You hair smells so good, did I tell you that?"

My hair was currently hanging around my face giving us a curtain and a way to block the sun. "No."

"Well it does."

I laughed. "You never told me what Ron said when you talked to him." I eyed him, "You _did_ talk to him right?"

"'Course I did." He didn't say anything else, just continued to play with his new favorite toy: my hair.

"And what did he say?"

"That should stay between a bloke and his best friend."

"Harry," I warned. It was my brother and my boyfriend so I think I deserved to know.

He groaned, "Gin, he asked me how long I had liked you, how much I liked you and why I didn't tell him. That's it."

"Well I know the answer to all of that."

"Exactly."

"So…he doesn't have a problem with us then?"

"No. He doesn't."

I smiled, "See you worried for nothing."

He looked a little disgruntled after that comment and turned his face to the side.

"What?"

"I wasted so much time thinking he was going to punch me in the face."

I shook my head pitifully, and since his face was turned away I couldn't get his lips so I settled for kissing his jaw, "Silly."

"Not funny, I followed him up those steps bracing myself for a black eye." I continued kissing him where I could get him.

"I would still like you even if your eye was swollen."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Harry no longer worried about Ron.

He kissed me again, his hands finding my waist, my own taking comfort in his mangy hair. I probably could have stayed like that for hours and might have if my necklace wouldn't have fallen from my shirt.

"What's this?"

"Hmm?" I asked not really listening just concentrating on the feel of his hair.

"This, I've never noticed it on you before."

This time I pulled back, realizing the silver trinket dangling from the chain that hung around my neck into Harry's face. He caught it with his fingers eyeing it carefully.

"It looks like…"

"It's Sirius'," I told him softly.

The expression in his eyes was not just confusion, but sadness and hurt, I suddenly felt guilty for not showing it to him before.

"He…gave it to you?"

"Well, after he died…he left everything he had to you, but Dumbledore found this, and he thought Sirius would have liked for me to have it."

The words aloud sounded worse, it made it seem like I had stolen it…is that what I did? Maybe Sirius didn't want me to have it. The doubt flooded my mind and I sat up quickly searching for the clasp behind my neck.

"Maybe, you should keep it-"

"No."

I hadn't really wanted to give it back, that was the one thing I had left of my friend, but Harry had his rights. "You're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad?"

"I guess… I don't know…it's just-"

I was stopped when Harry grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me down to him. "He would have wanted you to have it Gin; I know you two were close. It's yours."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive," he took the charm once more, examining it. "Do you wear it often?"

"Everyday."

"Everyday, really?"

"Yes, it's him, it represents everything about him who he was, what he did for his friends. I wear it every day to make sure he's close to my heart." The truth wasn't hard to say exactly, it was just I hadn't known it until I said it all aloud.

Harry tucked the necklace back into my shirt. "You really are something you know that?"

Just then we heard the faint ringing of the bell, lunch was over, which meant we had to reconnect with the real world.

"We're going to be late!" I cried jumping off of him.

"Oof!" Harry gasped in surprise at my sudden weight shift. I rummaged around grabbing sheets of paper that I had tossed about carelessly.

"You won't be late!" Harry tried to assure me, I only stopped to stared at him; he was hastily tucking in his shirt and flattening his hair.

"You look like a guilty school boy," I giggled.

Harry stopped and took two strides forward, wrapping his arms around my body, with a smirk he replied, "Cause I am." He leaned in for another kiss, and as much as it pained me not to give in- I couldn't be late. I dodged him, grabbed my bag and made a run for it.

"HEY GINNY!" I heard him call from behind me, "YOU MAY WANT TO FIX YOUR SHIRT, UNLESS YOU WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW WHAT YOU WERE UP TO!"

By the state my shirt was in…I would have never been able to live it down.

The days went by too fast. I remembered every second of it, every kiss, and every laugh. It all meant so much those first few weeks.

A few days later I found myself in the company of my 5th year friends in the library. We created a rather large study group, and gained several warnings from Madam Pince, but it really all fell on deaf ears, that day was no different.

"Well if it isn't little Miss. Ginny Weasley."

I didn't even try to hide my groan. "What do you want Romilda?"

"Why would I want something? Can't I just talk to you? We are friends after all."

I looked up from my potions text book. "Just barely," I said pleasantly.

Colin snorted keeping his eyes on his paper.

Pursing her lips she sat in the empty chair across from me. "Always the comedian. I'm surprised to see you here; you've missed so many sessions I thought you wouldn't even bother."

"Yea, I've been busy, but that doesn't mean I don't take school seriously."

"Hmm."

I let it go and continued to ignore her, but felt the back of my mind demanding to know what that _hmm_ meant. No I wouldn't give her the satisfaction. I was Ginny Weasley I didn't break easily- "What Romilda?"

I still had my pride.

"Well, I just meant that I'd expected you to be locked up in some deserted classroom with your boyfriend," she replied indifferently, scribbling onto her parchment.

"And that's your business how?"

"Never said it was; I was just merely thinking to myself."

I scanned the large room, Madam Pince was nowhere to be seen; we were all fairly hidden by the biography section far off in the back. Colin sat beside me, Luna a few seats down, and others scattered around the corner we occupied in the vast library. Everyone was rather intrigued in their own work so I doubted anyone would hear my next words.

Dropping my quill I leaned over the table close enough so that she could hear me whispering, "Might as well stop thinking and day dreaming about Harry, he's mine. If I even suspect you've gone anywhere near him with another potion I won't hesitate to put you at the business end of my wand."

She looked bored. Romilda Vane stared back at me uninterested and jaded. Merlin help me, I was losing my touch.

"You can't tell me what to think and what not to think Weasley. Even the great Ginny can't stop me from day dreaming about her momentary boyfriend." My hand instinctively clasped around the wand sticking out of my back pocket.

"Momentary?" I grounded through my teeth.

She smirked, "With the way you've been running through guys I give it another month before you get bored. But don't worry about feeling guilty, I'll be there to pick up the pieces of his broken heart."

I couldn't believe she said that. I was so shocked I didn't even think about pulling out my wand. She had just bluntly called me come kind of man-eating hag and without breaking face.

"Nothing to say then? Well, that must mean we've come to an agreement, you can have him for the time being. I'll just sit back and wait, dreaming about the hippogriff tattooed to his chest."

My mouth dropped open, and unfortunately without silence, the gasping slash growl, slash shout, got everyone's attention on us rather quickly.

She loved drawing attention however, so as she continued the smirk on her face grew. "You have seen it, haven't you?"

Harry. Did. Not. Have. A. Hippogriff. On. His. Chest.

She was just riling me up, trying to get me to succumb to her level of immaturity. I would not let her win. I could not let her win it was beneath me.

Yet all I did was sit back, and pack my things. Everyone's eyes were on me as I did so, but I could care less. Romilda Vane was going to pay I just didn't know how yet. Snapping my bag closed I walked around the table to meet her eye to eye.

"It's a Hungarian Horntail, and to prevent future misunderstandings, my brother's is a Pygmy Puff," I threw in for good measure, "Next time you may want to get your facts straight before thrusting them out like that, it makes you sound petty."

The laughs I heard behind me as I retreated were enough to have Madam Pince emerge from the back room, and threatening everyone that they'd be kick out.

Where the bloody hell did she get off making up such ridiculous stories? Two can play at that game. No one messes with Ginny Weasley.

That night I had finally given up my studies for the day and opened the Daily Prophet. The four of us were lounging around the common room in our usual spots; I leaned against Harry's legs as I sat on the floor. The war was not going well. There was already so much destruction that I was grimacing the whole way though each article. How could I feel the best I'd ever felt, when right outside the school boundaries one nasty war was ragging? I took comfort in the fact that I was better than Romilda, I had actually taken part in this I knew what was going on while she couldn't care less.

"Three dementors attacks in one week!" I said aloud to no one in particular, flipping the page of my paper rather forcefully. "And all Romilda Vane has to say is that you've got a Hippogriff tattooed to your chest!"

The moment the words left my mouth I realized just how sidesplitting the whole situation was. Ron and Hermione fell to hysterics out of their respective armchairs. Naturally Harry ignored them due to the fact that he had other pressing things on his mind.

"What did you tell her?"

"That it was a Hungarian Horntail of course. It's much more macho." No Harry Potter was going to have a bloody _hippogriff _on his chest; he might as well have a blanket named Buckbeak. This comment seemed to only throw Ron and Hermione into another fitful of laughter.

Harry, oh Harry, he didn't seem to keen on his friend's antics, so he said, "Thanks, what did you tell her Ron has?"

My boyfriend knew me too well. I don't think he actually knew I had told her anything of my brother, but whether I had an honest answer or not he wanted me to play along. Coincidentally, I _had_ mentioned Ron.

"A Pygmy Puff." Although I realized I may have left out a vital part of the information I gave to Romilda. "But I didn't say where."

Hermione clutched her sides, I had a feeling they were about to burst, Harry was laughing just as hard. Ron didn't seem too amused with our little comedic routine. "Watch it," said my brother, scowling, "just because I've given you my permission doesn't mean I can't withdraw it-"

"_Your_ permission? Since when have you given me permission to do anything? Anyway, you said yourself: you'd rather it be Harry, than Michael or Dean."

"Yeah I would, and just as long as you don't start snogging each other in public-"

My dear brother Ron must have really liked the taste of his foot, for he always knew what to say to stick it in his mouth. "You filthy hypocrite! What about you and Lavender, thrashing around like a pair of eels all over the place?"

"That is none of your business."

"Then we agree that what happens between Harry and I is none of _your_ business."

Hermione hiccupped, finally regaining control of herself.

"Whose ever business it is," Harry intervened, sensing the argument coming about, "I thought we were talking about the Hungarian Horntail in my chest."

I looked up at him through narrowed eyes, "You don't have a Hungarian Horntail on your chest."

"How would you know?"

"Many ways. It's not like I've never seen you shirtless before Harry, there was the second task in your fourth year," I grinned wickedly, "And not to mention the incident in the bathroom the summer before that."

"What incident?" Ron grilled.

Harry's blush burned down his neck. "Nothing Ron, she's just joking." He would have sounded convincing, had his voice not broke.

"Nice one Harry," I laughed.

"_What incident?" _I was referring to an accident at the Borrow right before we had gone to the Quidditch World Cup. With the entire family and Harry and Hermione home, one bathroom was well…you can imagine. I remember Romilda asking me if I had ever seen Harry undressed, I never answered her, but I hadn't said _no _either.

Sometimes the door didn't lock.

Sometimes your need over powered the thought of knocking.

Well not sometimes, it only ever happened to Harry and me, go figure.

"Ron don't get your knickers in a twist, I just saw a little bit more of Harry than usual." Hermione started laughing again.

"Ginny!" Harry whined, hiding his face in his hands, "I thought we agreed to never talk about it again!"

"And I thought you would never ask me out- things change."

Ron still hadn't pulled himself out of his horrified state. It really wasn't that much to be so worried about, honestly I didn't see everything. But I guess what I saw was enough.

"Right, so how do you know I didn't get that tattoo over this summer?" Harry challenged.

"I guess I don't. But there are ways to find out."

"Really, now?"

"I'm feeling rather dizzy," Hermione sighed closing her eyes, silent once more.

"Yeah," I replied turning back to my paper, "Just let me finish this article, and then we'll go find some place more private."

Ron snapped out of it pretty quick, "You-he-but-I- DON'T YOU DARE!"

"Gin, I think we better take it easy, we are going to give your brother a heart attack."

"That's just great, so this is what it comes down to? I'm _just_ her brother now? I thought you were _my_ best mate; I thought I could trust you!"

Ron was serious, only not too serious; there was no real fire beneath his words. Harry noticed as well and chuckled, "Of course you can Ron; you're my best mate too. I'm just looking out for your well being here. She's the one who started all this."

I smiled, looking up at the three, my brother, worried about his sister's innocence, my best friend trying to rid herself of a headache caused by laughter, and my boyfriend gazing back at me fondly.

If only we could have been like that every day.

"I have to wonder," I said on our way to lunch the next day, "has Slughorn noticed any difference in you since you disposed of the Half Blood Prince? I mean, the Prince practically gave you all the answers all the time."

"He just says I'm lovesick," Harry laughed.

"Then he must be a bit put off with me then? Right?" I liked Horace Slughorn, but let us just say Hermione had to drag me to that Christmas party. I never mentioned it because honestly nothing happened that was worth mentioning. Unless you count Luna and I having a conversation on the reasons why Slughorn's special guest really _was_ a vampire.

"No, he definitely approves- he likes you; he says you remind him of my mum."

That was one of many comparisons I had gotten to Lily Potter, and I liked that. I liked that a lot.

"I've been hearing a lot of that lately."

Harry shrugged. "My mom must have really been great."

The Potters were a taboo subject with Harry; he tried to act indifferent about the fact that his parents weren't around but everyone knew it got him wound up, he would defend his parents honor 'til the day he died, and he had never even met them. He just avoided the subject when he could; which was rarely seeing that they were two of the most famous wizards of our time.

"Of course she was." Then I maneuvered the conversation back to its original subject. "Have you been suffering though, without the Prince's help?"

"Well, the Prince _did_ teach me enough to hold out on my own for a while, obviously not like Hermione, but still. I think that soon I might-"

"You are not going back for that book."

"But-"

"No buts. It got you in enough trouble to start with; anyway if you really do want to be an Auror, Harry, then you need to gain your marks on your own."

Sighing, Harry gave up his argument.

"You _are_ planning on Auror training after you graduate, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I guess that's the only thing that I would be good at really: defeating dark wizards."

"Maybe, or maybe you can be great at whatever you put your mind to." Somehow the idea that he was only good at fighting wizards didn't rest well with me- if it wasn't something he wanted to do then why should he do it?

"You're growing sentimental Ginny Weasley."

"Eat your heart out, it doesn't happen often."

Harry laughed again then grew curious. "And you? What are you planning on doing?"

Hmmm….what did I _want_ to do? That was easy. I hadn't so much thought of planning just yet. "Quidditch. But that's not really something I can control is it? Either I have it or I don't," I told him as we finished the last flight of stairs.

"I think you've got it, and that's coming from your captain not your boyfriend."

"I think it's coming from a little bit of both."

"Anyway- what team then, Chaser?"

Obviously he had never been in my room before, I thought it was common knowledge that I didn't root for the Cannons like my naïve brother. "The Holy Head Harpies of course."

"I wonder what your brother has to say about that," Harry questioned, trying to hide a grin.

"Do you even think I'd stop to care?" Nor did I care that at that moment Romilda was shooting daggers at Harry and me from across the crowded corridor.

"Not particularly," he said, "_he'd _be a little more than put off when he finds his own sister playing for the rival team."

"The Holys are hardly the Cannons' rival. Besides other than giving me permission to date you, he had no say in anything else I do with my life."

Harry stopped dead in his tracks causing me to stop as well. "Wait did I hear you right? _You_ gave _him_ permission to give _you_ permission to date me?" The crowd hording towards the food continued past us, and I longed to be one of them, my stomach wasn't very happy at the moment. "You?"

I shrugged knowing he was going to want an explicit explanation, hopefully I could manage to steer myself out of it. "In my own twisted logic, yes, though you're going to have to find a way to say that that won't make me sound like a head case."

He was about to say something when I lifted an eyebrow, "Don't even think about it."

"Never was," he hammily lied.

"Come on Potter," I said tugging at his hand, "I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry. But don't think you can distract me, why the change of heart? Last night you almost bit his head off."

Had I really been that harsh? Perhaps. I needed to find a way to explain myself quickly so that my stomach would be satisfied sooner. "Look Harry its simple, Ron is your best friend. And with your history, I know that you take Ron's opinions- however barmy they may be- to heart. I know how much his friendship means to you, you can't lose that, so if it only takes Ron's blessing to have you keep this up with me then I'll take it with a smile. For the record, I knew he'd be ok with us before you did, but if he had gone the other way…" I looked up into his eyes noting that the banter mood had evaporated. Those moments I also noticed had been much more frequent lately, but gladly they didn't last long. "I would never have made you choose between us."

He responded with a kiss, and pulling me into a narrow space behind a statue of a hippogriff in the now empty hallway. Pushing me up against it he grabbed my face.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm trying to snog my brilliant girlfriend before lunch." With that he captured my lips again and rendered me speechless. There was something about kissing Harry, it was so addicting; he was so sweet and gentle. Not like Dean who always seem about ready to ravage me all the time. That's when I thought of something, grabbing his face I pulled it away, which I had just been holding as close as physically possible. He grinned and started pressing chaste kisses along my jaw line. I had a thought a moment before, I really did have one…but his breath was so warm… "Obviously that's what you're doing." Nope that wasn't what I had been thinking, my words came out rather distractedly, and then the distraction stopped.

"So what's the problem with that?"

None what so ever to me. So why had I stopped him? Harry could have probably had his way with me and I wouldn't have complained, but there _had_ been a reason I stopped him. And I soon remembered it.

"I thought you hated public displays of intimate affection." I couldn't help but picture his reaction to finding Dean and I in that corridor.

He moved to press his forehead to mine, scrunching his eyebrows. "Where did you get that from? Ginny have you already forgotten our first kiss?"

He had a point.

"But…but what about when you and Ron walked in on Dean and me? You seemed so…disappointed." It was tight and dark in the corner he enclosed me in so reading his face wasn't the easiest task. But I did see him shake his head.

"Ginny, did it ever occur to you that maybe I wasn't so much disappointed and disgusted, as I was _jealous_?"

"What?"

He laughed, "I wasn't doing anything at that moment other than wishing it was me you had been kissing in the secluded corners of the castle."

I was shocked, so utterly shocked all I could say was, "You know I lost sleep over that."

"Over the fact that you thought I was disappointed?"

"Yes."

He kissed me again, "That's ridiculous."

"I really cared about your opinion," I admitted, which I probably wouldn't have if he wasn't so close and influential.

He blushed at the comment in a very Harry-ish manner taking one hand from my back to ruffle his hair.

"But hey," I continued cupping his face so that he wouldn't look anywhere but me, "I don't think you pulled me back here for talking."

Before I could even finish, he was kissing me again. My hands moved from his face to his hair, reveling in the silky, messy feel of it. "So how many points do you think we'll lose if we get caught?" I panted a few minutes later when his lips moved to my jaw again.

"Mmmm…50...each?" he murmured.

"Maybe…"

"Depends on who catches us."

"Snape…200..."

"Each," he decided.

My fingers found the hem of his un-tucked shirt. I felt his smile against my skin as his lips moved down to my neck, but at the same time heard voices on the other side of the statue. "We're going to get caught," I groaned.

"Shh," he warned waiting until the voices died away, not stopping his own lips of course. "We need a better place within the castle."

I ran a finger across his midriff beneath his school shirt, holding back a chuckle when he shivered. "Any ideas?"

"Well there is this broom closet on the second floor that-" he didn't get to finish as I pulled him away from the statue and up the stairs once more, "I thought you were hungry!" he called still surprised at our hasty departure.

"I'm easily distracted!"

_Where was that bloody closet?_

"From _food?_"

I looked back at him; he was desperately trying to fix his hair again, "Don't bother with that! No one is going to notice the difference!" Besides the moment we made it there it was going to get a lot worse.

"Guess you're right Gin-"

But I had found the door to the broom closet, and that conversation was never finished.

"To the library, Ginny," Hermione warned pointing her finger at the portrait hole.

I looked around her, to where she gestured, and then back to my position, comfortably settled on Harry's lap by the fire. "Err…I'm fine thanks."

No doubt she was going to try to tell Harry about her newest suspect to whom the Half Blood Prince was; I knew Harry didn't really care.

"Ginny! Your exams are two weeks away!"

"And I'm prepared for them!"

"Not as much as you could be; this is serious Ginny! Harry, don't just sit there back me up." Putting her hands on her hips she did mean business.

"Um…I'd rather stay out of this if you don't mind," Harry grimaced.

"Ron?"

"Anything to get her away from him, I'm almost sick from their _Fligils._"

Harry reached over and threw a cushion at my brother, I laughed as it hit him square in the face.

"Is anyone worried about her future here? Am I the only one who is taking this seriously?"

She shouldn't have left herself open like that. "Yes," we all replied unanimously.

"Ginevra, if you don't get your butt in the library I am going to owl your mother and tell her that-"

"Fine! Fine! I'm going." I wasn't ready to tell my mother anything, especially not when she was a floo away from my brothers. I kissed Harry one last time, and rushed out of the room before Hermione could say anything else. The hallways weren't busy, a few students here and there were determined to get to where they were going. I sighed, damn O.W.L.s.

"I was hoping to run into you," came a voice from beside me, I jumped startled as Dumbledore appeared at my side.

"Sorry Professor didn't see you there."

"Quite alright, on your way to do some studying I assume?" his gentle smile was playful.

I nodded, "Yes, Sir, O. start next week."

"And Miss. Granger can be rather persuasive, can't she?"

How did that man know _everything?_ I wanted to deny it, I mean, I'd studied without the suggestion of Hermione countless times, but I knew Dumbledore could see right through me. "Extremely," I sighed.

We rounded a corner into another rather empty corridor. "You've taken my advice I see."

"Not that I'd forget anything you've ever told me, but what advice are you referring to now, Professor?"

"Well, only that if you weren't studying right now where would you be?" I looked up at him and noting the mischief in his smirk I looked away blushing. _Where would I have been?_ Most likely inside of a broom closet. "Ah, silence speaks wonders."

"Obviously you know about Harry and me…"

He laughed, "Oh yes, you two seem very happy." That's when I understood what advice he was speaking of, _making your own happiness in times where there seems like there is none left_. I guess Harry and I took a huge leap into doing that.

"You were right, Professor, as always."

His light hearted expression died slowly, "I'm not always right, Miss. Weasley; there is not one person who is always right. However, I know what I am doing from time to time."

I wanted to laugh. This was Albus Dumbledore! The one of the greatest wizards of all time! Nothing could prove him wrong.

But of course we'll find that he was right about _that _too.

"I also wanted to thank you for being there for Harry when I've been so busy these past few months. Although I have to say I do believe he's enjoyed your company much more than mine," he added.

This only made me blush some more. "You're welcome."

We were growing nearer to the library now, "Ever since the incident with the chamber all those years ago, I knew that you both would be good together. You children have seen things far beyond your years and because of that, you've become amazing adults I hope you all know I'm very proud."

I stopped my pace and met his eyes. He was speaking as though….no…I must have been imagining things. "Where is this coming from, Professor?"

He put a hand on my shoulder, the black withered one. I tried not to stare. "From an old man who has never said it before, and feels that it needs to be said."

I smiled, "I wouldn't say we are amazing adults, we still get into ridiculous amounts of trouble, we don't know what we are doing half the time, and well, I…I'm not sure that I-"

"Miss. Weasley, you are one of the cleverest witches I have ever met; there is no need to doubt yourself. Just make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you."

There were no words I could pull together that would even match the graveness of which he spoke. "I'll remember that."

He raised his hand as his sleeve concealed it once more. "Then off to your studies, Miss. Weasley, I don't want to keep you."

"You weren't keeping me, Sir; speaking with you is always a highlight of my day."

He paused for a moment, and I noticed a bit of sadness in his eyes. "Your words are most rewarding, thank you, Ginny."

"Of course,-" but he was gone.

I stared off as he swiftly made his way, trying to shrug off the feeling that there was a hidden meaning to all he said. Finally I put it out of my mind and entered the library.

_ The chamber was wet… wet slimy and humid. Even with the massive space, I could hardly breathe. _

_There was blood, so much blood, coming from me… and coming from the body a few feet away a body that I couldn't identify from where I was. I couldn't stand…I couldn't scream…the diary was open and I was being sucked into it. I wanted the body to get up and help me, yet no matter how hard I tried I couldn't yell for help…_

_ The third task was in full blown chaos. One moment Fred and George were taking bets on who would win the tournament the next there were screams and wails. I pushed people out of the way to find Cedric dead on the ground. His body was bleeding…that couldn't be right he shouldn't be bleeding…that wasn't how it happened. _

_Harry was nowhere to be found all there was… was Cedric dead…_

_ Sirius was fighting in the Department of Mysteries; I had seen it before and I knew what was going to happen. I saw Bellatrix raise her wand and I tried to scream out to him. Nothing came out. I yelled and I yelled but there was nothing but a sick buzzing in my ear. Then it happened all over again, the green light hit him square in the chest and he fell. Only, this time, Remus wasn't there to catch Harry. I watched as he followed Sirius, running to catch him. I was screaming telling him to stop but it was too late, Harry threw himself into the veil after his godfather…_

_ The Department of Mysteries was crumbling; the walls came down to reveal another room. I was back in the Chamber of Secrets. The book was still open and the unconscious form was still bleeding._

_ "This is just the beginning Ginny," a voice spoke out from behind me, a voice that I never wanted to hear again._

_ Tom's handsome face came into view, stalking towards me like I was something to eat- it made me sick. "Leave me alone Tom," I called shakily._

_ "Always a firecracker weren't you, Ginny? I've missed you."_

_ "Go to hell." _

_ Tom only just smiled and knelt down before me, "Manners, dear." _

_ He went to reach for me but I spat in his face._

_ "Ugh!" he screamed stepping away to wipe it off. "You whiny brat, I should have killed you when I had the chance."_

_ I was still bleeding profoundly from an unknown source, but I found I was able to move. Slowly I made my way over to the body. Harry would be here any minute I told myself, he was coming._

_ "He's not going to save you this time Ginny. Take this as a warning- this is all just the beginning. Harry Potter will not be the end of me." I finally crawled close enough so I could shake the person laying there and try to get them conscious, though I couldn't tell who it was. But that all changed when the body sagged and rolled onto its side. "I will be the end of him."_

_ Harry._

"Harry!" I screamed sitting up in my dorm bed.

Thankfully, it seemed I hadn't woken anyone. So many thoughts and images were floating in my mind, blinking faces of people dead or injured, so many my head throbbed.

I took deep slow breaths, still shaking from the dream. It was so real; I guessed it was because it _had_ all happened… only differently.

The dream was becoming a jumble of blurred memories; I could hardly understand it anymore. I knew this was the moment were you forgot the dream. I tried to grasp it again. I tried to remember. Tom said something….something important…

Tears fell from my eyes though I wasn't aware I was crying. Shuffling out of bed quickly, I shoved my feet into my slippers and tied my bathrobe. The common room was deserted, of course, and that was just as well as I sat tucking my legs under me. My regular breathing pattern hadn't returned. What had Tom meant Harry wouldn't be the end of him? Like there were only two choices; Harry killing him or him killing Harry. It made no sense.

It was just a dream.

A very real dream.

Something deep inside me told me not to let it go.

"Ginny?"

I turned around, not even slightly surprised to see Harry walking into the room. Who else has trouble sleeping? "Hi."

He came around and knelt on the ground to meet my eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Can't sleep." Not a lie, but not the truth. He would know.

"There's more than that," he cupped my face, "Gin? Tell me."

I stared into the fire. The dreams had stopped; I hadn't had one in years. I didn't want to worry him I didn't want everyone to get all worked up over it.

But this was Harry, if I wanted him to tell me about everything then why wouldn't I be able to let him in as well. I hated double standards. "Just another nightmare."

He stroked my hair, I loved it when he did that, it sent tingles all over. "You still have them?"

"No. Just tonight."

Harry stood and sat next to me rubbing my back. "Was it Tom?"

That was the Harry I knew, incisive, there was no eating around the bush with him. "Yes…but I guess there was more than just that…I can't remember-"

"You don't have to; forget about it, it was only just a dream."

"No. Harry you have to believe me this was not just a dream, no matter how much I wish it was something keeps telling me that this has a deeper meaning."

"Gin…" he sounded doubtful, and why wouldn't he be? Still I had to make him believe me.

"Harry, when people tell _you _'It's just a dream' you follow your gut anyway right?"

"It's not the same; I have some kind of connection with Voldemort-"

"And I don't?"

Harry looked at me solemnly then pulled me into his lap, holding me close. "Tell me about the dream."

Resting my head against his chest I tried my hardest to remember some kind of inkling. "I saw Sirius…and Cedric…their deaths. Tom had me in the chamber he was talking to me…" Come on! It was only just a few moments before. My brain was reeling, "He said that you wouldn't be there to save me this time."

"You see? That proves it. It was just a dream, I was there Gin, I got you out," he whispered in my ear kissing the side of my head.

"But he said something else… he said that you wouldn't be the end of him, that he would be the end of you," Harry stiffened beneath me though he did his best to cover it up. "Do you know what that means?"

"No."

"Something is going to happen Harry. I feel it; something bad is going to happen today."

"Don't get too worked up about it, dreams come and go Gin. I've had some nasty ones too, mostly memories from the past, and it doesn't have to mean anything."

We stayed there like that not moving until I remembered another part of the dream. "You were dead," I whispered.

"I was…dead?"

"In the Chamber…but you weren't twelve at all…you were…maybe a bit older than you are now."

He didn't utter a word at first, nor did I; so much could be said just by the way we held each other. "Today's not going to be a good day, Harry, please believe me."

"I do, Ginny. I do."

That was how we were; no matter how far out things could get we understood each other. Was that what Dumbledore had meant the day before? What was he trying to tell me? It had sounded at first like a long winded way of saying goodbye. That made no sense. I saw Professor Dumbledore every day.

"Professor Dumbledore was speaking strangely to me last night."

"Dumbledore? What did he say?" Harry asked his interest peaked.

"He told me he was proud of us, all of us, and that he wasn't always right about things…and got me wondering if it had anything to do with the classes you're taking with him." When he stayed silent I sat up and looked him in the eyes. "What is he teaching you, Harry?"

"Nothing."

"Are you really that desperate to use such a terrible lie?"

He looked away, "I'm not sure if I can tell you."

"But you can tell Ron and Hermione?" It even hurt me to say it.

"Only because they were involved with this since the beginning, Ginny, I don't want you to worry- Dumbledore is just teaching me everything about Voldemort, his past and all."

Voldemort? I figured it had something to do with that but why would Harry need to know about him anyway? I let that piece of knowledge digest.

"Why Voldemort, Harry? What is it about him that no one knows? Why does it always come down to you?"

There was something bigger going on here, something that not even the Order knew; if they did they wouldn't always be questioning whether or not Harry should be involved.

"How exactly are you connected to Voldemort?" I asked persistently, why hadn't I seen this before? This great big mystery. And it clicked.

"The prophecy right? You_ know_ it. Dumbledore knows it, even Ron and Hermione…"

He sighed. "Yeah. Ginny I want to tell you, I do, but I don't think I can."

"You don't trust me?"

"I trust you more than anyone." His earnest voice didn't match with the situation.

"Then why won't you tell me?"

"It's not my call, it was Dumbledore. But if it makes you feel better I'll ask him today alright?"

I nodded, and relaxed again. I knew I wasn't going to be fall back to sleep, not after that dream. There were so many things to consider, the prophecy, Tom's words, Dumbledore's words it all meant something, something obvious that I couldn't see.

"What do we do now? I mean, everyone else will think I'm crazy or something. Please don't tell anyone about the dream."

"I won't. And I guess we'll just have to keep our eyes open wider today. I've haven't seen you this shaken up in a long time Gin. Is there anything I could do to make you feel better?"

I smiled. "Yea, just hold me."

"I can do that."

I knew, my gut told me over and over that that day wasn't going to end happily, yet I went on with it. And right there sitting in the common room with Harry I could almost pretend it was just another day. But we had no idea that in just a few hours time, our lives would change again, but this time, there was nothing we could do to find our way back to complete happiness, not for a long while anyway.

I enjoyed that hour by the fire alone with Harry before the students aroused themselves enough to get out of bed. And if I had known it would be the last, I would have made it more.


	16. The Stupid Noble Reason

**Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince**

**Entry 12:The Stupid Noble Reason**

"_Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions  
>Oh, let's go back to the start<br>Running in circles, coming up tails  
>Heads on a science apart.<br>Nobody said it was easy  
>It's such a shame for us to part<br>Nobody said it was easy  
>No one ever said it would be this hard<br>Oh, take me back to the start…"_

_-The Scientist, Coldplay_

I remember attending the first funeral of the Second Wizarding War. I remember attending with Harry, and I also remember watching him walk away. I was never bitter; I had always known exactly what I was getting into when we became involved. I understood why he felt as though he had to walk away, and what it mean to love someone enough to let them make their own decisions. That doesn't mean it didn't hurt, it hurt more than I let on, more than I ever cared to admit.

To say our world was in turmoil, to say it was becoming dangerous to step outside the door, would be to say the truth. Checking the obituaries in the _Prophet _became routine every day, and the number of missing persons ads were growing. That was all just a preamble to what would become the biggest mess in our history.

We were taught to know that there was never a place safer than Hogwarts School of Witch Craft and Wizardry- that no one uninvited could penetrate the walls- that no one could get seriously hurt. And even with our past experiences, the Chamber of Secrets being opened, a mass murderer (framed or not) sneaking into the grounds and a wide mess of teachers either being a ministry control psychotic, a werewolf, a servant tied to the Dark lord, a death eater in disguise, or the most historic traitor of our time, we trusted Hogwarts as our home, and we stood to defend it.

Only this time, we didn't succeed.

He was late. Not that I was high maintenance, not that I got miffed at the simplest set back, Merlin how could I be when I was rarely ever on time myself? It was something Dean picked at about me, whenever I was running behind- rushing to make it on time he would nag and complain that. I used to tell him to take the wand out of his arse, and he usually just laughed, not that I ever found anything funny about it.

But with Harry it was another story. Though he wasn't the most punctual person, he was twenty minutes late and when Harry wasn't where he was supposed to be it meant trouble.

I was probably just being paranoid, other than the on-goings outside the school at the moment, what was there to be worried about _inside_? I just couldn't shake off the feeling of dread since I woke up from the dream early that morning. I was just over reacting.

I noticed my foot tapping at the same time I noticed my arms were tightly crossed on my chest. I looked like my mother. That. Was. Not. Good. Disgusted, I dropped my stance and walked away from the entrance to the library. Being a Friday, Harry and I were going to eat dinner together and head outside for a night fly, or that was what Harry _wanted_ to do, until he didn't show up.

I began panning out the grounds in my head, eliminating certain areas, and adding places to my list of suspicious places. I made my way to the most reasonable place to check first, the common room. Completely distracted I had the misfortune to run right into Professor Snape.

He however seemed to be coming at the same speed. "Miss. Weasley!" he snarled, "Get your insignificant little head out from the clouds before you cause someone collateral damage." He brushed past before I could even fathom what had happened.

"Sorry, Professor…" I said delayed as I watched his hasty retreat. I shouldn't have been sorry, it was as much his fault as it was mine, but that fact that he threw only one monotonous insult over his shoulder threw me off. Obviously he had somewhere to be, and with purpose.

The whole evening was turning into some strange fiasco, the castle was too dark for it to be only seven, a storm was coming that much was obvious. I put the encounter with Snape out of my mind and continued on my way towards the Gryffindor tower. I saw students rushing inside, soaked in rain water, laughing and yelling. Through one of the windows I saw fierce clouds swirling above, seemed like it was going to be a nasty night.

If I only knew.

Being distracted by the threatening sky again I didn't notice when Hagrid came around the corner nearly running me over.

"Ginny! I didn' see yer there!" he rushed.

"It's alright Hagrid." I chuckled. Being so big the water that was gushing from him drenched me as well, so much for staying inside.

"I haven't seen much o' yer lately, been studying have yeh?" I could tell he had somewhere to be, by the way he continued to glance over my shoulder

"Studying my brains out, O.W.L.s start in a few days…Aright there Hagrid?"

"Oh…er…fine just, er…fine. I um," he coughed, "never got to congratulate the happy couple, yer and Harry eh?"

I smiled but didn't hide my suspicions; Hagrid was being a bit more anxious than usual. "Yea-"

"I could see it yer know, ever since the day o' the Chamber, Dumbledore saw it too he did. I knew Harry would come ter his senses."

"Really? That's so sweet," he wasn't listening bouncing on one foot he had somewhere to be…no. something was wrong. "What is it Hagrid? And don't try to lie, what's wrong?"

He seemed to realize I was more than just a little curious. "Nuttin, nuttin ter, er, worry about Ginny. Just the rain is coming down hard."

I narrowed my eyes and tried a different approach. "I was actually just on my way to find Harry, he was supposed to meet me a while ago, you haven't seen him, have you?" He was keeping something, and the only thing he would be this nervous about around me would be something that had to do with my missing boyfriend.

Hagrid froze, and I could have sworn he stopped breathing. "Nope, I haven't. He's not here, I have no idea."

"Where is he Hagrid?" He winced realizing he gave too much away in his reaction. My voice wasn't so welcoming either.

"I…I…comin' professor!" he boomed down the hall. I jumped startled.

"Hagrid, no one called you!"

"Yeah. Didn't yer hear?" he laughed nervously inching away. "Stay out of trouble the lot o' yer you hear?" He walked away then turned around to say one last thing. "Don't go off wondering about the grounds, stay inside the castle now!" Wincing again at the little slip, Hagrid rushed away out of sight.

What the bloody hell was going on? Did everyone in the school decide to go nutters all at once? It seemed like it. What was with his warning? The only time Hagrid ever got that nervous was when Dumbledore wasn't at the school, like the previous year when he was driven from the school by Umbridge and the year the Chamber was opened and he wasn't seen fit to run the school.

But Dumbledore was here. I had just spoken to him the night before…and he sounded like he was… saying…goodbye.

I stood there stunned for another beat, and then broke out into a run.

My mind was reeling by the time I made it all the way up to the seventh floor; I just barely remember shoving people out of my way in a rush to put an end to this crazy thought. Dumbledore wasn't gone, and if he was then so what?

Something told me there was more to it than that. I had finally gotten my heart to beat regularly again as I stepped through the portrait hole, however when I saw Ron and Hermione's worried faces I knew I was right. Something was very wrong tonight.

"Ron! Hermione!" I called attention to myself earning curious stares from Gryffindors scattered around the room.

They stayed seated in the arm chairs by the fire I took it that they didn't exactly want to speak in public. I sat in front of my brother, he bit his lip. Hermione was wringing her hands, words on the tip of her tongue. I cut to the bone. "Where is Harry?"

Ron looked up into my eyes opened his mouth and closed it again. Merlin why wouldn't anyone tell me anything? Didn't they understand that I just wasn't that little girl anymore? I had every right to know what was happening with my boyfriend.

"Harry told us to tell you goodbye for him Ginny," Hermione stated bluntly.

"Goodbye?"

"Yeah." I sat there pondering the many different definitions to the word. Ultimately the definition was the same: Not. Good.

I took a breath, "Goodbye…because he…wanted to end things…?"

"No." I wanted to stop and sigh in relief but my stomach told me things weren't any better after that bit of information.

"So…Merlin you two spit it out! I know you know what's going on with the school tonight! Where's Harry and where's…oh. Harry's _with_ Dumbledore?" I meant to make it a statement but it sounded more like a question.

"Ginny, look there's a lot you don't know, and we aren't sure how much we can say."

"Says who? Harry? Dumbledore? It's funny really because they both seem to be on the list of people that supposedly trust me!"

"Shh!" Ron glanced over his shoulders at the students that were having trouble minding their own business. "Listen. Dumbledore took Harry to do some kind of mission, we don't even know what's really going on, but it has to do with Voldemort. Harry tore out of here so quickly he didn't leave any explanations."

I looked over at Hermione who nodded in agreement. "There's more to it though, you know at least a little more than what you've told me," I accused.

"Yes Ginny. I'm sorry but it's not our place," Hermione said.

"Ok," I relented; defeated. "If that's all then what's the big deal? I ran into Snape and Hagrid on my way here they both seemed about ready to attack at a moment's notice."

"Well…it's just that whatever Dumbledore and Harry are doing, it isn't exactly safe."

My eyebrows came together on their own accord, "Why would you say that? This isn't the first time Dumbledore takes Harry somewhere, remember last summer? Harry was fine."

Ron looked over at Hermione guiltily. "There doing a bit more than just speaking with an old Hogwarts professor."

"How do you know? If Harry didn't even explain…?"

Ron sighed and reached into his coat pocket. "He left us with this." My brother dropped the vile of Felix Felicis into my open palm. Staring at it I felt confusion at first, and then worry.

"I'm lost, why would he leave us with this? If he's out there doing something dangerous why wouldn't he take this with him?" my voice rose earning the same amount of attention once more. People were starting to worry. And I began to feel the graveness of the situation, this is what I had tried to warn Harry about…the dream…him dead in the Chamber. I took a breath to steady myself.

"Ginny?" Hermione seemed frightened, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Sorry it's just it's been a strange day."

"Anyway, that's what has us worried that's exactly what we told him, Harry insisted that he would be alright because he would be with Dumbledore. He told us that…he believes…that well…whatever Malfoy is supposedly planning it would happen tonight, since Dumbledore would be gone."

Malfoy. I knew Harry was suspicious about him, heck I was too but something on the look Hermione had in her eyes told me it wasn't the same case with her. "Supposedly?" I asked. "You still don't believe him?"

"And you do?"

"Of course I do, but either way he's left us with this and he wants us to be precautious, and since he nor Dumbledore are here that's what we're going to do."

Ron sighed. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on them."

"Them?"

"Yea, Harry thinks Snape's involved too."

Snape. That was probably the reason why he seemed so odd tonight; he may have been on his way to meet Draco… "What do you mean keep an eye on them?"

"Harry also left us the Marauder's Map."

"Good, then all we have to do now is contact the rest of the D.A. and we'll set people to discreetly patrol the halls."

Hermione practically jumped out of her seat. "Have you completely lost your head? We can't get anyone else involved!"

I shrugged, "It's not as though we would have to tell them anything, just to watch out for trouble…you know everyone's been itching to help! Hermione face it, even if we _do_ see something happen on the map by the time we get there it'll already be too late. We need reinforcements and someone with the map over seeing everything, like a leader. Harry's our leader, he's gone, and so is Dumbledore so we need to step it up. We aren't called Dumbledore's Army for nothing." The pair of them sat gob smacked at my little rant. It felt wonderful to get exactly what I wanted to say out in the open, and to finally have someone to listen.

They must have underestimated me.

Hermione smiled, "I knew you two were perfect for each other, you sound just like Harry."

"Look, Ginny you're my sister, and honestly I think you're brilliant -if you ever repeat that or use it against me I will deny it- but we just can't afford to get everyone involved."

Ron had a point, almost twenty students sneaking around near and possibly past curfew would be a dead giveaway. "Alright then, just Neville and Luna, makes sense don't you think?"

Hermione paused, "Fine, lets grab some dinner and meet with them; we'll assign posts down in the Great Hall."

Neville and Luna were just as eager to help as I was to do something. The five of use sat away from the rest of the school's population, whispering in hushed voices.

"People have already been asking where Professor Dumbledore is," Neville told me, "They keep wondering why he's never around anymore."

"Dumbledore is always around!" argued Ron.

"Look we just have to keep a low profile, if people start noticing Harry's gone too then more questions will come up," Hermione interrupted before Ron could say anything else.

I nodded, "Right. Now, Harry says that Malfoy has been lurking around in the Room of Requirement. So I figure we split up some of us take the seventh floor corridor watching out for Malfoy, and the others-"

"Right outside Snape's office."

"Exactly."

"So who goes where?" Neville asked.

"That's a simple question don't you think?" Luna looked up at me, "Some of us are more likely to seem suspicious. I've always thought Professor Snape had a touch of seer in him; he can always tell when someone is up to something, haven't you noticed?"

"Er…Luna what does that have to do anything?"

"I see what she's saying; there's a difference between the lot of us, if I were to patrol outside Snape's office he would suspect me, and give me detention for lurking about, but if Hermione was outside his door, he'd just think that she was trying to become more of an 'insufferable know it all' by studying _away_ from you and Harry," I reasoned.

"I resent that!"

"I was just quoting Snape Hermione! Besides, it's not like I mind you knowing everything, if you didn't not all of us would be here right now."

She blushed.

"She's right 'Mione," Ron bashfully agreed.

"Alright then, Luna and Hermione will take Snape's office-"

"While the rest of us stay by the Room of Requirement?"

"Right, Neville, that's exactly right."

By eight the five of us were positioned and settled; Hermione and Luna unobtrusively perched outside of Snape's office while Ron, Neville and I had taken consecutive spots in the 7th floor corridor. I was crouched behind a suit of armor sitting just down the hallway from where I knew the Room of Requirement to be. My brother was nearest to the entrance, and I watched as he studied the map in his hands. Looking up and meeting my gazed Ron mouthed, "Nothing."

Malfoy was still in there. A sneeze disrupted the deep silence of the hall followed by a quick apology from Neville. Oddly enough I was pretty content at the moment. Strange, considering we were technically waiting for something that might not even happen- and also having no clue what that 'something' was- in perpetual silence. It must have been the effect of the small portion of Felix Felicis I had taken earlier. I could never get the rush of optimism that gold liquid gave me anywhere else; I felt fearless, which was just as well, since there was plenty to fear about that night.

We waited.

And waited.

For the most part the place was deserted, only once had there been a giddy couple passing through completely oblivious to the three of us, looking for their ideal broom cupboard. I took it that not hearing from Hermione and Luna was a good thing, after all most times no news was good news.

"Ginny!" Ron whispered yelled in my direction. "I seriously doubt anything is going to happen, can't we just go back to the common room and wait for Harry to get back?"

"And waste this perfectly supplied Felix Felicis? Ron I don't-"

"Shh!" Neville called frantically.

There was a creaking of a door. I craned my neck around the armor to find that the Room of requirement had been opened indeed. Holding my breath, I waited for Draco to emerge holding something…anything. First I only saw his back. It seemed as though he was motioning to something else within the room. Crabbe? Goyle maybe? That didn't make any sense however, just before we settled in our respective hiding places we checked to see where they were- apparently the kitchens had yet to see enough of them.

Ron seemed curious, and for once not worried, he must have been enjoying the sensation of Felix as well. Draco turned at last and I jerkily pressed against the wall praying he hadn't noticed. Neville still had a clear view of the ferret, and so I watched for his reaction to whatever Malfoy was doing. Neville furrowed his eyes brows then his jaw went slack.

"This way," came Draco's monotone voice.

Who in Merlin's beard was he talking to?

Ever so slightly I turned again peeking over to find him walking out of the Room of Requirement, followed by several black hooded figures.

I nearly fell over. Harry was right.

It had been Draco all along, he was attempting to get Death Eaters into Hogwarts, and now, he had succeeded. All the unanswered questions from the past year were solved in my head in mere seconds; Draco had been the one to curse Katie, to poison Ron, he just messed up on the delivery. Harry told me he thought those events were too coincidental, both the poison and the necklace that curse Katie were originally for Dumbledore. He told me someone was trying to get to Dumbledore. He was right. It was Draco. Why didn't anyone believe him!

"They'll be back anytime now," Draco informed the group. Dear Merlin, they were talking about Harry. Catching Ron's horrified face and Neville's shocked expression I motioned to them and at the exact same moment we dove out from our spots and fired.

Thinking back on what we had done I realize now that it wasn't the most organized, smart or _sane_ thing to do. There we were, three under aged wizards, ambushing older more experienced dark wizards- outnumbered and completely clueless.

I sent a single stunning spell that seemed to miss completely. A flash of red came straight for me and I just stepped away letting the Felix control my instincts.

"We don't have time for this!" cried Draco, and in an instant so quick it seemed impossible, the entire corridor plunged into darkness.

"Too bad we can't stay and play loves…" Even coughing from the sudden burst of dust in my lungs I shivered from the voice.

Bellatrix Lestrange was there, and I had no idea where or how.

My coughing fit lasted only a few more moments as the darkness dissolved leaving me and two others who were coughing beside me. "What the bloody hell just happened?" I croaked

"First," Ron wheezed, "Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder, one of Fred, and George's most popular items." He coughed one last time. "And second. Malfoy snuck Death Eaters in the school."

"That's what I thought," Neville nodded, breathing heavily still.

"I hoped it was just my imagination," I whispered.

"Now what?"

"Now we stop them."

"How?"

I shrugged, "No idea."

"Well that hasn't really stopped us before right?" Neville asked.

Ron opened the map. "Nope, and it won't tonight, c'mon," he said taking off. The night would go down in history as the second most devastatingly chaotic disaster Hogwarts has ever seen.

Neither side, the Death Eaters nor the Order of the Phoenix had been prepared; everyone was taken by surprise at the amount of people in the castle, all fighting, all dueling, and all attacking. Not even the Department of Mysteries compared. But I'm sure you know what disaster topped even that one.

"Ron! Neville, Ginny! What are you three doing out of bed?" I'd never been so glad to hear Remus' voice.

"Remus! It's Malfoy! He's brought Death Eaters! They're in the castle! The Room of Requirement!" Ron was sputtering trying to catch his breath. Looking between Lupin and Tonks.

"_What_?"

"Professor," I clarified morbidly, "Harry told us he thought Malfoy was up to something and with Dumbledore gone tonight he knew-"

"How did you lot know Dumbledore was gone?"

"NEVERMIND THAT!" I wailed desperately, "Malfoy snuck Death Eaters into Hogwarts through the Room of Requirement, they are somewhere in the castle right now- we lost them."

All color faded from their faces, and just as quickly they sprung into action. "Alert the Aurors, get everyone here, make sure no student leaves the dormitories. And you lot get up to the Gryffindor tower immediately."

Running behind them with no intent on following his last order, I heard Tonks laugh dryly. "Don't waste your breath Remus they've done more already than all of us put together; I doubt they will start accepting the rules _now_."

It didn't take any time at all for us to find trouble, five minutes later the lot of us were drawn into combat with one or two opponents. Sending a stunner towards a cloaked man I had never seen before I missed, giving him time to shoot back. The blinding light passed right by me- as though it turned on its own accord. The Death Eater gasped and tried again.

"_Impedimenta!"_

"_Crucio!"_

Curses were rebounding off walls, it was nearly impossible to tell what came from which wand. Ron was near, I could hear him yelling; spotting him from the corner of my eye, I could see he was up against a Death Eater I recognized from the Ministry fiasco.

"RON, DUCK!" I called when a hex hurtled at his back. Ducking, it went right above him and proceeded to hit the Death Eater straight in the chest, throwing him back and into the wall.

"_Expelliarmus!" _I succeeded in disarming the man I was dueling, however in a swift movement of the hand he recovered it.

"_Accio wand."_ He was much more powerful than I feared.

I followed him up to the third floor trying everything I could, _"Expulso!" _The explosion was only enough to make him stumble, but nonetheless he kept moving.

"GINNY!" someone called from behind me, I didn't need to look I recognized the voice just fine.

"_Immobulus!" _The man threw back, I jumped right out of the way.

"YOU GIT! YOU CAN'T EVEN HIT ME WITH AN IMOBILIZING JINX! YOU CALL YOURSELF A DEATH EATER?"

"GINNY!" the voice called again this time right behind me. Trying to speed up to keep up with the man, I knew I wouldn't be able to only because I knew that the person behind me had no intention of letting me go any further.

Bill grabbed my arm jerking me back- the momentum almost causing us to fall backwards. "_Incarcerous__!" _my brother bellowed, only to have the curse hit an armor when the Death Eater made a sharp right. They weren't going down, at that moment I hoped we were faring better downstairs.

"_What do you want Bill_?" I tried to make my voice louder; the panting was making it impossible.

"_ME? GINNY WHAT ARE YOU DOING_? You do realize this is dangerous and ridiculously stupid of you right?"

Bill's usually tamed long ponytail was in a state of disarray and he seemed to be panting just as hard as I was. "Dangerous? Yes. Stupid? Not so much! Bill will you get off your high horse for one moment and realize that I'm not such a little girl anymore? You weren't there at the Department of Mysteries you didn't see everything I did! I can help, I'm not defenseless."

"I don't give a damn Ginny! You're only 15! Get back to the Gryffindor tower, wait for me there."

"NO!"

"GINNY! I don't have time for this!"

"Whenever Harry gets involved no one sends him away! And I bet you didn't have one word to say to Ron, and he hasn't been through what I went through my first year, I CAN HANDLE MYSELF!" I snapped tugging my arm roughly away.

Bill exhaled. "I'm not going to just let you run around with flinging curses in every god damn corner of the castle! Sure I know you're talented and you've been through a lot with Harry, but Ginny. I mean it. _Get back to the seventh floor_."

"Bill-" I was going to tell him that he would have to drag me there himself, and point out that he didn't have time for that, but something behind him made me choke on my words.

At that point in my life the only time I had ever seen Fenrir Greyback was in the _Daily Prophet _in the _Most Wanted _section. He was huge, looming over seven feet, he was just as I expected, more wolf than man. And he was coming straight for us.

"Ginny, go," Bill said softly not taking his eyes off the beast.

Leave my brother? My big brother in a match with one of the deadliest man-thing-creature alive? I didn't want to.

Please Merlin believe me I didn't want to.

I knew I shouldn't have.

"But-"

"_Go,"_ He said a little more forcefully, still not looking away.

So I did.

The whole Order of the Phoenix had arrived at the scene of the battle, Professor McGonagall, Tonks and Ron were all facing their own duels- some Death Eaters looked foreign to me others had faces I had hoped to never see again.

"Ginny!" Someone called but I couldn't tell who I was too distracted by the two bodies laying on the ground.

"What a pretty little one you are."

I turned around and fired at the Death Eater I only knew by name: Amycus. He dodged it easily. "I remember you from last year."

"_Stupefy!" _

"_Pretego!" _His dark eyes flashed. "How's the ankle?"

My blood boiled and I sent another stunner hoping it would work. It only hit a bit of his arm throwing him off balance; this angered him and the curses came fast and hard over and over. It was a dance to move out of the way for each flash of light. If it weren't for the Felix Felicis… I would have died.

I put up a good fight. Keeping my side up just as long as he sent everything he had at me. One of my cutting curses sliced him neatly in his left cheek and it continued to bleed profoundly.

Things changed quickly then. A flash of billowing black robes caught my attention; Snape was headed toward the exit at an incredible speed, surprisingly dragging a shaking Draco with him. "Ron! RON! _SNAPE_!" I called jumping away from yet another curse. Ron couldn't hear me. I didn't have time to digest what I had seen- it could have meant many things: it could have been that Snape had captured Malfoy, it could have meant they were working together and now running from the scene. I was at a loss.

"_Pretego!" _my shield keeping me from getting hit didn't stretch out as far as it had a while before, I was growing tired.

"_Crucio-Crucio- _you won't be able to jump out of the way forever pretty-" Amycus taunted. But before he could finish a loud,

"_Impedimenta!" _was shouted behind me and hit the Death Eater straight in the chest. Amycus flew back into the opposite wall and met the floor with a low thud.

"Harry, where did you come from?" I cried watching him running across the hall, emerging out of practically thin air, but in a blink he was gone again, leaping over the bodies in the direction of Snape and Malfoy.

Annoyed and frustrated, I glanced at where he came from and I found Fenrir Greyback petrified on the ground. In the midst of a battle I stood in the middle hearing nothing but the beating of my frantic heart. If Greyback was here…then where was…

"BILL!" I screamed whirling around, I didn't see him anywhere. "_BILL_!" I called out once more.

Suddenly the room grew silent. And then only an instant later-

"My Merlin!"

"What just happened?"

"He was just there!"

The Death Eaters had just stopped mid cast and disappeared. The remaining people in the room, all panting and bleeding, glared at the empty spots, completely mystified.

"What did they want?"

"Were they after something?"

"Is everyone alright?"

"Did you see Snape?"

They were all talking at the same time making it practically impossible for me to think clearly. Bill. I needed to find Bill.

"Ginny where are you going?" Tonks asked, but I didn't waste time explaining to her. I rushed up the stairs to where I left Bill alone with Greyback, praying that my gut was wrong, that Bill was fine. With each step I grew more worried, more nervous…more terrified of what I would find.

And then when I made it to the corridor where the armor was collapsed on the ground from my spell… and down at the end there was a body.

It was hard to tell who it was from where I stood. I knew who it was already. But I had to check anyway. My breaths became more rapidly than they did when I was in combat and bile rose up my throat.

When I made it close enough to see the red hair, I screamed.

In another flash I was up in the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey was bustling over Bill, while my other brothers and friends were sitting around trying to control the raging emotions left inside us. Bill wasn't dead, that's all that mattered.

Hermione was crying silently into Ron's shoulder and he seemed barely to keep it together himself. I was pacing, you'd think I would have been tired enough to sleep for days on end, but I wasn't. I was anxious and moody and scared.

I'm Ginny Weasley, I know, but Merlin I was scared.

I had no idea what happened that night or why. All I knew was that Bill had been attacked by the same werewolf that transformed Lupin, Neville was laying in a hospital bed unconscious, the walls of Hogwarts had indeed been penetrated, and my bloody boyfriend was missing. Story of my life. Literally.

"Ginny, why won't you sit down? You're making everyone nervous."

"Like that's my fault Ron? We were all already nervous." I was about to crack. It took all my strength not to break down in hysterics and become violently sick.

Lupin and Tonks burst into the room then looking frenzied, I rushed over and threw an arm around each of them. "Oh thank Merlin you're alright!"

"We are fine Ginny; there was no reason to worry about us."

"How is Bill?"

"We…we aren't sure as of yet…" Hermione's voice was heart breaking.

"Where's Harry?" I asked Remus rather bluntly.

He raised an eyebrow, "Harry? I…that's odd…I just realized I haven't seen him all night. I would have thought he were with you. Where was he tonight?"

Looking over at Ron and Hermione, they didn't seem to be listening, and I figured it didn't matter anymore who knew, "Harry was out with Dumbledore this evening. They were gone when the Death Eaters arrived and Harry appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the fight; he was gone again before I had a chance to ask him where he was going. He was chasing after Snape and Malfoy."

"Where would he go with Dumbledore?" Tonks asked.

"I…"

"Nothing you need to know," Ron piped in, his voice just above a whisper.

Remus looked from my eyes to Ron's and then back at mine. "What-"

I shook my head. "Just leave it Professor. I need to go find Harry." I started for the door but Tonks stopped me.

"Why don't you let Ron and Hermione go? If your mum gets here and you're gone..."

"I _need_ to find him Tonks. And I need to find him _now_."

"You-"

"Let her go," said Ron.

You may be surprised to learn that I hadn't told my family, other than Ron, about my relationship with Harry- nor had Harry told anyone outside school. We had only just started seeing each other, and I wanted the first few weeks to pass without having the mickey being taken out of us. If Tonks knew about us I was certain she would have let me go without a fuss, rather she would have pushed me out of the door with a wink, but I didn't have the heart, nor the energy, to tell her then and no one else for that matter. Ron seemed to understand that too, and so he said nothing else.

There was a look in her eye, however, that made me curious as to just how strong a woman's intuition was.

"Hurry back."

"I will."

Walking out of the wing was like taking a fresh breath of air. I allowed it to travel through my nose and into my head clearing the nausea before I went in search of Harry-bloody-Potter.

Where had he gone? Why hadn't he gone in search of us? Where was he now? Was he hurt? Why was he after Snape? What happened? My head throbbed with questions- thankfully since the nausea had left it was bearable.

The corridors were silent, which was odd considering all the students must have awoken throughout the chaos. Checking the Gryffindor common room was pointless; Harry wasn't that daft to wait up there rather than find me, Ron and Hermione, besides, if I knew him-and I did- the first thing he would have done was run up to the hospital wing to ascertain the ones injured and somehow blame it all on himself. It was a charming trait… though one he really needed to get rid of. However he wasn't up in the wing leaving two possibilities.

One: The fight wasn't over and he was still battling…alone. Well maybe not _alone_ Dumbledore had been with him after all, though I hadn't seen him.

And Two: Something went terribly wrong. I didn't allow my mind to wander nor did I let it picture a crumpled Harry in a corner of the castle. Not that that was plausible…Voldemort would have probably wanted to see the body…

There were a couple of third year Hufflepuffs huddled together at the foot of the stair case just outside the Great Hall. One was sniffling and the other two grasping her hands.

"Are you all right?" I asked kneeling down.

The girl to the right had tears in her large blue eyes, "Yes. Ariel," she motioned to the smallest in the middle. "She was on her way to the loo and she stumbled across Professor Snape and that Malfoy boy."

I swallowed, "And?"

"And they pushed her out of the way; Harry Potter was right behind them, that's when she…saw." The girl with the blue eyes lost it then and began sobbing as well. I placed my hands on her shoulder.

"Saw what? What did Ariel see?" I whispered.

"A few… months ago, our mom… was murdered." she spoke through her tears. That's when I realized who I was speaking to, the Flipturn sisters. Tragic story that happened over the holiday break everyone came back solemnly around the two girls. I had no idea what that had to do with this.

"I'm sorry."

"Dumbledore… he was the one who helped us so much; he really was so great with

Ariel…we spoke with him all the time. My sister didn't need to see him…like this…he was… Dumbledore. It's just not right."

My blood ran cold.

"What's wrong with Professor Dumble-"

My question was interrupted by a curling scream from outside. With one last sorry glance at the sisters and their friend, I rushed to see the commotion.

It seemed the entire student body was standing out in the courtyard. Standing… just standing. Low murmurs, gasps and sobs melted in the background. They all faced the same way, blocking me from whatever had everyone upset.

I knew I should have prepared myself for the worst, taken a moment to survey the situation and collect myself. But as you well know I was a rash person.

I dived into the crowd.

"Excuse me!" I said pushing my way through the group of hundreds of students. "Let me through! Excuse me!" I saw light finally; being as short as I was I only saw a sliver of it. Blood cold in my ears I kept trudging on frantically.

And with one last push I fell forward catching my step at the last possible second.

There in the center of the circle lay Dumbledore in all his glory, eyes closed and white hair blown all over the ground and his face. And Harry, my Harry crouched above him very much like the night of the third task two years ago. I blinked.

And then I blinked again.

The same vision was before me. The Dark Mark high in the sky.

The nausea returned.

Dumbledore was dead.

Albus Dumbledore, the greatest wizard of our time was dead.

And Harry Potter felt more alone than ever.

That wasn't the time to mourn, there was things to be done, issues to clear up, blame to be put and a school to fix. No matter how much I just wanted to break down fall to my knees and cry, I knew I couldn't. Harry needed me to be strong. Hagrid was attempting to get Harry to stand up but was failing miserably.

I got closer seeing that they were both shaking. "Harry, come on," I said taking his hand and pulling him up. He let me. Without looking at anyone I led him back up to the castle.

"_We are going to the Hospital Wing,_" I told him. I noticed my voice had no emotion in it what so ever.

His voice sounded much like mine. "I'm not hurt."

"Those are my orders; everybody is up there, Lupin, Tonks, Ron, Hermione, and everyone."

"Ginny who else is dead?"

Other than Dumbledore? "Don't worry, none of us."

"But the Dark Mark- Malfoy… said he stepped over a body-"

"He stepped over Bill," I said remembering the sight of Snape and Malfoy running away in the direction Greyback left my brother. "But it's alright, he's alive."

I wasn't too convincing. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure…he's a – a bit of a mess, that's all. Greyback attacked him. Madam Pomfrey says he won't – won't look the same anymore…we don't really know what the after effects will be – I mean Greyback being a werewolf, but not being transformed at the time."

"And the other bodies?"

"Neville and Professor Flitwick are both hurt but they'll be just fine. And the other was a Death Eater; he got hit by a stray killing curse that huge blond one was flinging all over the place. Harry if it weren't for the Felix potion you left us; we would have been done for. Everything seemed to just miss us."

We walked into the Hospital wing I released Harry's hand taking a step away as Hermione ran up to him and threw her arms around him, Lupin tailing her. I got a few curious glances from the rest of my family.

"Are you alright Harry?" Lupin asked."

"I'm fine, How's Bill?"

Silence took over again and I turned away not up to facing anyone.

"Isn't there a charm that could help or something?" Harry asked.

"I've tried," replied Madam Pomfrey, "There is no cure for Werewolf attacks."

No cure for death either, I wanted to say.

"Greyback hadn't transformed though, so Bill really won't be a real-?"

"No, I don't think Bill will be a full werewolf, although he will most likely show some wolfish characteristics now."

Ron's voice was heard then, "Dumbledore must know something that'll work though, he has to, Bill was working on Dumbledore's orders he _owes_ him! He won't leave Bill like this-"

"Ron- Dumbledore's dead," I said.

"No!" Lupin gasped. I couldn't meet anyone's eyes as I let the information settle.

"How did he die?" Tonks whispered. "What happened?"

"Snape killed him," Harry answered, and I turned to him, his face was stony, cold and tortured. "When we got back to the school Dumbledore was…sick, weak we apparated to the Astronomy tower because that's where the Mark was. Malfoy came through the door after Dumbledore immobilized me while I was under the cloak and disarmed him. I…couldn't do anything but watch. More Death Eaters came and then Snape arrived and ending it. The _Avada Kedavra._"

The room couldn't have been any tenser. Hermione's hands trembled, Ron looked as though he hadn't taken a breath, and Luna was silently crying as she looked out the window.

Snape. I should have known; bloody hell I _did_ know! I knew there was something about him tonight! I should have reported it to McGonagall. I could have tried to stop him when I saw him…I…

Suddenly I heard a soft cry from the night sky.

Madam Pomfrey had burst into tears. But something had caught my attention, "Shh! Listen."

We all listened to the Phoenix's song together, letting each of our individual pain ease even though we knew there was much to mourn in the coming days. But as I looked around the room I was still glad to see that the most important people in my life were all still there still with me. I reached to grab Harry's hand- consequences be damned- when McGonagall finally entered the ward.

"Molly and Arthur are on their way," She said assessing the scene Lupin's face in his hands everyone crying. "Harry? What happened? According to Hagrid you were with Professor Dumbledore when-" She couldn't even finish her words.

"_Snape Killed Dumbledore."_

The elderly woman collapsed into the nearest chair. "Snape! We all wondered…but he trusted…always…_Snape_… I can't believe it."

Everyone else was having that same problem. After all, what as Hogwarts without Dumbledore? It was just….wrong and empty.

The discussion turned abruptly to theories and stories of that greasy madman. I could care less about how he tricked Dumbledore. That fact was he did.

As far as we knew, then.

"I don't know how it happened…this whole night had been so confusing." McGonagall sighed, "When Dumbledore told us he was leaving the school… he said we were to patrol the corridors just in case."

I caught eyes with Ron, Hermione Luna and the Harry. It seemed Harry and Dumbledore were more alike than anyone could imagine. "I have no idea how they could have entered the castle!" she cried.

"I do." Harry told us all about what Malfoy had been up to in the Room of Requirement, a vanishing cabinet that transported objects from inside the school to the Death Eater story in Knockturn Alley, Borgin and Burkes, and vice versa. Brilliantly evil.

"I messed up Harry!" Ron started, "We did what you told us. We checked the Marauder's Map and we couldn't see Malfoy on it, so we thought he must be in the Room of Requirement, so me, Ginny and Neville went to keep watch on it…but Malfoy got past us."

"He came out of the room about an hour after we started keeping watch," I informed him. "He must have been checking whether the coast was clear to let the Death Eaters out because the moment he saw us he threw something into the air and it all went pitch-black-"

"Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder, one of Fred and George's products. I'm going to have a word with them about who they are selling to."

We continued to tell the tale of our experience, running into Remus and Tonks and when the fight broke out.

"So if Ron was watching the Room of Requirement with Ginny and Neville," Harry asked Hermione, "Were you-?"

"Outisde Snape's office, yes. With Luna." Hermione sobbed. "We didn't know what was happening! Ron had the map so when Professor Flitwick came to awake Snape, we heard him telling him that Snape had to go back with him and help. Only we heard a thump from the office and Snape came out, seeing us, he told us that Flitwick had collapsed and we needed to tend to him. It was only after we saw his body we understood that Snape had stupefied him! We just let him go Harry, I'm so sorry!"

"It's not your fault," Lupin told her. "If you hadn't let him go he would have hurt you or Luna.

"So when he came upstairs…" Harry moved forward, "And he found the place you all were fighting…"

"We were in trouble, we were losing, Bill had been savaged-" The knot in my stomach turned. "Neville had been hurt it was dark and there were curses flying everywhere, Snape was there and then he wasn't."

"I saw him running toward us," I added, "But that huge death eater I was fighting had just fired, I ducked and then lost track of things."

"I assumed he was in a hurry to chase after the Death Eaters who'd escaped the tower," McGonagall admitted.

"He was," said Harry, "Only to help them not stop them."

"When Snape passed by with the Malfoy boy, obviously none of us attacked him," said Tonks. "We just let them pass. I thought I heard Snape shout something but I couldn't hear what, and then all of a sudden they were all gone."

"He shouted, 'It's over,' he'd done what he meant to do," finished Harry.

Silence fell once again as we all realized we played a part in letting Snape just go.

Mum and Dad burst into the room next, Fleur, to my displeasure, right behind them.

"Molly-Arthur- I'm so sorry-" Professor McGonagall tried, only to be ignored by my mum. I didn't want to watch this; I really didn't want to see this.

"Bill," she whispered. "Oh _BILL_!" Lupin and Tonks cleared away as my mother practically threw herself across the room to her first born son. She pressed her lips to his bloody forehead, and at the moment I wanted nothing more than to have Harry grab me and hold me so no one else would see me cry into his chest.

He had other things on his mind. They spoke for a bit, the same information Bill's condition, Dumbledore's death…I was already sick enough, did I really need to hear it all once again? I was trying to think of any excuse to leave the room, but each one would give the impression that I was not calm, cool and collected.

"What do you mean, ''e was _going_ to be married?" Fleur's irritating voice broke through my reverie.

"Well," replied my mother caught a bit off guard. "-only that-"

"You theenk, Bill will not wish to marry me anymore? You theenk because of these bites, he will not love me?"

"No that's not what I-"

"Because 'e will!' she spat growing taller, I rolled my eyes, what kind of obvious vanity was that? "It would take more zan a werewolf to stop Bill loving me!"

"Well yes, I'm sure, I meant-"

"You thought I would not weesh to marry him? Or per'aps, you hoped?" she looked positively dangerous, her nostrils flared and her fists clenched. I stepped a bit closer to Harry just in case she exploded. "What do I care how he looks? These scars show how brave my husband is!" she pushed my mom out of the way and proceeded to rub ointment on his face, just as my mother had been doing just moments before.

I thought maybe it might have been worth it to stick around, just to watch Fleur get an earful from my mum. Everyone else seemed to have the same thought, they tensed for the explosion.

And then it came.

"Our Great-Auntie Muriel had a very beautiful tiara – goblin-made – which I am sure I could persuade her to lend you for the wedding. She is very fond of Bill, and it would look lovely with your hair."

It was all I could not to fall upon my knees screaming, "NOOOO!" There went my leverage; if my mother didn't like Fleur then it was completely fine for me to dislike her…but if my mum fell on the other side…I must have stepped into a parallel universe that evening. Everything seemed completely impossible!

"Thank you," Fleur replied just as gob smacked as the rest of us. And suddenly, both women were crying into each other's arms! Merlin!

"You see! She still wants to marry him, even though he's been bitten! She doesn't care!" The unexpected outburst came in the form of a washed-out-blue-haired Tonks as she clung onto the front of Remus' robes.

"It's different," he replied, "His case isn't like mine-"

"But I don't care either! _I don't care!_ How many times do I have to tell you?"

I caught on quickly, but was shocked that I hadn't seen it before; Tonks was in love with Remus Lupin. I smiled sadly, not realizing there was obviously a problem and _obviously_ it wasn't unrequited feelings. If it had been I would have had a few tips for her.

"And how many times do I have to tell you that I'm too old for you, too poor…to dangerous…"

Oh. I understood then; he didn't think it was safe for her to be with him. He didn't want to ruin her life. Noble git. And they said _I_ was naïve?

"I've told you you're being ridiculous throughout all of this Remus," my mum scolded cleaning her tears.

"I am not! She deserves someone young and whole not someone like me."

I looked over at Harry out of pure instinct and was met with a curious and pondering gaze directed at the couple before us. A sinking feeling told me Harry was also only seeing Remus' side. I bit my lip worriedly.

"But she wants _you_," my father said.

"This is…this is not the time to talk about this, Dumbledore has just died."

Harry looked over at me, and he seemed surprised to see me staring at him. I smiled as best I could but showed him with my eyes how much I cared, how much I felt. I only hoped he understood the underlining meaning.

"Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world," McGonagall added.

She was absolutely right. I wondered if Harry knew that too.

Hagrid came in then, looking just as terrible as he had down in the courtyard. Things shifted from the comfortable familiar feel of having everyone together when Professor McGonagall followed Hagrid out, taking Harry with her.

"See you in a bit." He said to Ron, Hermione and me.

When they left, Remus looked over at Tonks, "I'm sorry… I…I can't." Pulling her hands off him, he brushed past me and out of the room.

Tonks looked down at her feet unsure of what to do.

Mum walked over and put a hand on her arm. "He loves you. Don't doubt it. He will come around; just don't give up on him. Help him see."

Suddenly I couldn't hold it in anymore, excusing myself I ran out into the nearest rest room…and became violently sick.

The next few days were much better, though much better from rock bottom wasn't too good either. There were no classes, my examinations were done, we visited the hospital twice a day and I spent all my time with Harry.

Harry seemed overall alright, though distant. Late at night before I fell asleep I wished I would know the right way to help him, the right way to stop him from doing what I knew he was going to do. Ever since we saw the episode between Remus and Tonks, Harry hadn't been the same. And it wasn't hard to imagine why.

Bill was faring well, though his scars did much damage to his physical appearance, he was still the same Bill I knew and loved.

Fleur was over the moon with happiness when Bill woke up, glad that she had my mother on her side and she could watch over Bill twenty four seven. Her mood was just too bright for recent events. Still, I knew I couldn't hold up my dislike for her much longer.

"I guess I just have to accept her. Her and her as a sister in law," I sighed one evening in the common room with Ron Hermione and Harry.

"Ginny c'mon, she's not too bad," Harry shrugged. I raised my eyebrow at him. "Ugly though," He amended quickly- and seriously.

I laughed, "If mum can do it…I guess I can too."

When Hermione opened up the obituaries, and the name Snape came up, my stomach twisted. "I'm going to bed. I could definitely use the sleep."

Standing up I bent down to kiss Harry, he kissed me back enthusiastically, and I sensed a misplaces sadness and urgency. Pulling away I gave him a curious glance, but he just smiled. I bid goodnight to my brother and best friend and began up the stairs to my dormitory.

"Harry I found something this morning in the Library," said Hermione the moment I disappeared from their sight. It hurt that they were still playing this game. I stopped to listen, even though I knew it may not end well.

"About R.A.B.?" Harry asked.

_R.A.B.?_

"Well, no, I've tried to look them up, I honestly have there are a few wizards and witches that fit the initials but they don't fit at all. Anyone who stole that Horcrux would know Voldemort but the people I've found wouldn't have anything to do with him. What I'm talking about is Snape."

My head hurt from all the incoherent talk she was giving, but neither Ron nor Harry seemed confused by it. I had never heard of anything called a Horcrux? I concluded it had something to do with Voldemort and an R.A.B. that is what she said after all wasn't it?

"And?"

Hermione spoke of the Half Blood Prince and it wasn't until a few moments later that I realized _Snape_ was the Half Blood Prince. I didn't want to hear anymore. I wandered up to my bed completely dazed all this information was too much too confusing too soon.

Just as I drifted off I made a vow to myself that I would figure this all out whether that meant with the golden trio or without.

He looked so lost. I was sure it was the potent sense of pain and confusion the drove him here. I felt the pull myself, willing me to just forget everything in the water and the peace the shady bank provided. I stepped closer with no intention of giving him the chance to send me away. I crept up to him and cursed myself when I heard a twig snap beneath me.

"I don't want to talk alright? I don't bloody care if you think it'll help."

When Sirius died Harry had closed himself up, protecting his feelings with a killing curse proof shield. After getting him to open up, an adventure on its own, I learned more about him than I ever had before. His raging ability to blame himself, the depth of his guilt, how venerable he really was. You'd think that a boy without a family would have a hard time learning to love, but even if he didn't know it he had the biggest heart. He'd learn to cope so well with loss; it must have been second nature to him by that time. Opening up his wounds and having him voice the horrors he'd witnessed wasn't the right way about it. I just needed to remind him that he wasn't alone.

"I know, I just thought I'd sit with you."

Harry was genuinely started to hear my voice. "I…I'm sorry…Ginny I didn't know you where there…I thought…" he sighed, "I'm not sure what I was thinking exactly."

"It's really alright. I'm used to the snappy dismissive comments from my brothers." I meant it to come out light and teasing but I realized I failed miserably.

"For a while I tried to convince myself that I was like one of your brothers, that the feelings were all protective and concern. But after a while I admitted to myself that there was much more than that. I guess…I'm saying I'm not your brother…nor are you just my best mate's sister."

"That's pretty heavy, considering you didn't want to talk. I honestly just knew you'd like some company," I shrugged sitting down next to him.

He remained silent for a few moments before muttering. "I'm not great company to keep."

My fleeting smile was just that, I didn't think there would be a lasting smile on my face for a long while. I grabbed his hand and stroked his thumb, "I'd like to think otherwise, you are my favorite company."

"You really shouldn't think that way," he said, his voice menacing.

I flinched. "Why not? Why the bloody hell not Harry?"

"You of all people know that nothing and no one is safe around me."

The silence that followed was enough to tell me that this was it. I knew what Harry was going to do, what he was planning, I just hoped he would give me-us- a little more time.

"I don't want to argue I just…I want to be here for you and I…I don't want you to walk away. I want you to know that I'm not going anywhere, I lo-" My breath caught. Had I just been about to let him know that I loved him? What shocked me was how easy it would have been to tell him. A dilemma arose as quickly as possible in my mind. Should I let myself finish those words? I wanted to, I wanted to so badly. I wanted him to know how I felt, how my heart swelled at his smile, how his humor made my day. Things I thought he needed to hear, that he was loved and important to someone. My Merlin, I was the one who had turned into the sap.

However, the consequences outweighed my longing to tell him. Knowing Harry, he would run. He would push away in sacrifice and fear that I'd be hurt. The feelings he wasn't familiar with would scare him, and he'd run, doubtful and worried. We hadn't even been together all that long and he wouldn't even feel the same way. I could hear my mum's voice to those statements saying that it shouldn't matter whether he told me he loved me back, all that should matter is that he knows, and also telling me that it didn't matter how long we'd been with each other but how deeply we cared for each other. And I knew just how much Harry cared about me.

It may have been the perfect moment to let the words spill out but in the end I couldn't do it, I lost my chance. "I'm worried about you," I amended, not knowing I was going to horribly regret my choice one day.

"Don't be, I'll be fine."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

"What?"

"Your fine isn't exactly the normal definition of fine."

Harry looked away giving me the chance to regret what I said; thankfully he had yet to pull his hand away. "Maybe you're right."

We didn't speak again, just let one of those silences settle between us, silences that passed so much emotion between us without one simple word. I loved Harry and in that moment I decided to enjoy the idea that he may love me in return even if he didn't know it, yet.

"Gin?" he said a little over an hour later his head currently resting on my lap, my hands brushing through his hair lazily.

"Yea?" I replied imaging him telling me those three simple words. And yet he didn't really need to say them, the way he held me, the way he smiled or looked at me, when he touched my face, my hair; Harry told me he loved me everyday even if he wasn't aware of it.

"I think I realize that the silence won't really help. To tell the truth I think I'm going mad with my thoughts…maybe talking is…the right thing for right now."

"Who are you and what have you done with Harry Potter?"

The corner of his mouth turned up a bit- it wasn't a laugh, but it was the best I could hope for, "What do you want to talk about?"

"I was wondering if…maybe…you could tell me some of the stories you promised me."

I won't lie and say I understood what he was talking about. Could his statement have been any more generic? I kept my mouth shut, noticing just how important this sounded to him. Biting my lip I willed myself to remember. The last thing I wanted to do was to break a promise I supposedly made. Thankfully I did remember.

_I think about all the stories he told me about him and your father and the trouble that followed them everywhere, whenever I start to miss him._

_I'm sorry that you didn't get to spend as much time with him last summer as I did but he absolutely loved to talk about you. He loved you so much Harry. As does everyone. _

_And don't worry, I'll tell you all the stories one day, just tell me when._

And then came his reply,

_I won't forget, I have a feeling I'll be needing them someday. _

Apparently I had been the one to forget, but I didn't waste time considering that. Recalling Sirius' voice in my head I chuckled slightly.

"You know that old trick step in the grand staircase? Well it wasn't always there. One day your dad was depressed because of another rejection from your mum, Remus told him he should just apologize to her and ask nicely, but Sirius thought James just needed a night out. The night started off innocent enough, the Map the Cloak and a perfectly planned hex for the Slytherin table in the Great Hall. Remus was actually the one to come up with the hex but Sirius; he wanted to use it to make sure…."

I was happy when he smiled… when he laughed… when he made a joke… I would have just sat there telling him stories for a week if it meant he would smile like that forever. But when the sun began coming down from its highest peak other matters needed to be tended to.

Dumbledore's funeral was a quiet affair. I sat beside Harry in the last row by the lake, watching the beautiful day wear on as hundreds of people came to pay their respects. So many I didn't recognize and many others I did gathered around. My entire family, the Order of the Phoenix, and several people I recognized who worked at the ministry with my father. Shop owners from Diagon Alley, as well as Hogsmeade, the entire school staff, the ghosts of Hogwarts even.

I knew Harry had never been to a Wizarding Funeral- I had attended my great uncle's when I was little, Aunt Muriel's husband- and so I proceeded to help him though it. Nudging him here and there explaining what was going on showing him where to look.

Harry was subdued but again distant, and it wasn't about half way through until he finally realized it. It took a while but it had finally hit him, the main father figure he had come to love and trust was gone. Harry tried to hide away from us, by looking away into the lake Ron and Hermione were both focused on the ceremony and didn't notice.

But I did. There wasn't much I could do but make him see that he wasn't alone. I took his hand, and squeezed it tight, leaning my head against his shoulder. It was innocent enough- I knew how risky it was to show affection of the romantic kind in front of such a vast amount of people. It seemed like anyone who mattered in our lives, who had some sort of involvement were there. If anyone had looked over at us, some would have thought it a friendly gesture; maybe some would have thought it romantic but sweetly guiltless.

Most people weren't going to notice anyway. However I got an understanding smile from Tonks and curious eye raise from my mum (both glances through tears).

And when it ended, I knew it would take other things with it.

"Ginny, listen…" Harry was very quiet and I almost told him not to continue because I already knew where he was going with this. "We've got to stop seeing each other. We can't be together."

I smiled, "It's for some stupid, noble reason isn't it?"

"It's been like…like something out of someone else's life, these last few weeks with you. But I can't…we can't…I've to do things alone now."

I stared at him, wondering when he was going to finally understand that he didn't HAVE to do this alone, whatever it was, whatever it was about this prophecy, this _Horcrux_ thing, these secret meeting with Dumbledore, he didn't have to do it alone. Why did he insist?

"Voldemort already used you once, and that was just because you were my best mate's sister. Imagine how much more danger you'll be if he found out we were more. He'll try and get to me through you."

"And if I don't care?" He must have known I'd take the risk any day.

"I care. If this was…if this was your funeral do you have any idea how I would feel? Ginny I…"

I stopped breathing, was he going to say that he…he…

Harry shook his head, "I would feel so guilty."

I looked away. Shame on me for thinking he felt the same way, but if he was doing this it really meant that he cared didn't it? It must have been more than just feeling guilty.

"I never gave up on you, not really, I always kept up hope. Wishing that maybe one day you would notice me as something more than your best mate's sister…Hermione told me to relax and get on with my life that way I could be myself around you…and let things happen, even if we never got together she didn't want me to miss out on our potential friendship. I could barely talk in the same room with you remember? She thought you would notice if I were more myself," It took much weight off my heart telling him that.

There were my feelings for him, my decisions my thoughts wrapped up in one explanation and laid out before him. I had no idea how he would take it.

"Smart girl that Hermione. I just wish I would have asked you sooner, we could have had so much more time. Weeks, months even…"

I imagined it, the beautiful weeks we spent together stretched out over months maybe years. I wanted it so much it hurt.

"But you've always been too busy saving the world Harry," I told him almost laughing. "I'm not surprised, I won't lie, I guess I always knew you wouldn't be happy unless you were the one hunting Voldemort. Maybe that's why I like you so much."

Why I love you so much.

Why I always have. For his heroic trait that for some reason made him want to out chasing after this monster. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, was it because of his parents? Cedric, Sirius now Dumbledore? Was this all out of revenge?

No Harry wasn't like that; he acted as though this was something he had to do.

Maybe Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, really _was_ the Chosen One.

With one last look at me, an understanding passed between us, that we…we emotionally weren't over.

He walked away in the setting sun on his way to meet Ron and Hermione, I envied them. I wish he would be able to tell me all the things he told them. The only comfort I had was the he told me other sorts of things that didn't have anything to do with Voldemort. With us it was just that, us. Harry and Ginny. And no one would take that away from us, not even Tom Riddle.

My mom was standing with Tonks my father Bill and Fleur. She didn't act as though she didn't see Harry walk away. Molly Weasley smiled softly at me through her flustered face.

"_He loves you. Don't doubt it. He will come around; just don't give up on him. Help him see."_


	17. The Secrets of Potato Peeling

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Entry 16: The Secrets Of Potato Peeling

_"If anyone asks,_  
><em>I'll tell them we both just moved on<em>  
><em>When people all stare<em>  
><em>I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk<em>  
><em>Whenever I see you,<em>  
><em>I'll swallow my pride<em>  
><em>and bite my tongue<em>  
><em>Pretend I'm okay with it all<em>  
><em>Act like there's nothing wrong<em>  
><em>Is it over yet?<em>  
><em>Can I open my eyes?<em>  
><em>Is this as hard as it gets?<em>  
><em>Is this what it feels like to really cry?" <em>  
><em>-Cry, Kelly Clarkson<em>  
><strong><br>**

_ "Ahhh…I've missed you…" the throaty voice purred, "You keep thinking you can get away, but let me tell you something, you will never be able to escape me, no matter how far you are." Icy gaunt fingers ran down my neck leaving a trial of burning fear down to my collar bone._

_ "I…I don't understand."_

_ The voice laughed once and I heard its slow breath before I felt it. It was cold and musky-sticky-against my ear. I trembled, "You still are such a silly little girl, don't you know? My blood runs through your veins from where I harmed you, my memories invade yours from when I made you relive them, my soul rests in you from when I poured myself into you. You can't run."_

_ My heart was beating in my stomach, and I tried to ignore the nauseating sensation. "No…no…that was the diary, it was just the diary…Dumbledore said-"_

_ "You still trust that old fool? Even after he made a mistake in judgment that cost him his life?"_

_So dry that I couldn't swallow, my throat burned at the stench of the murky water beneath my palms, soaking my robes and my hair. "Yes…no…I don't know," I replied frightfully._

_ His hand slowly moved up to cup my face. "You can't leave me, you'll always be trapped right here with me, no matter how many times you get out you will always find your way back. Each time you tell me he will come, as though the end of the story will always be a happy one. You're very wrong to think so. He won't come, he won't come this time. He's left you, he's abandoned you."_

_ Each word stung my eyes, causing the tears to pool at the edges. Things were becoming blurry as my energy fell. I knew I didn't have much time left. "No, no NO! He hasn't abandoned me! He's doing this to protect me!"_

_ Tom laughed again and it echoed off the chamber walls. "Then where is he now? If he is indeed protecting you, then how could you be here with me? Why hasn't he come? It is because he won't love, you're mine." Pressing his forehead to mine I was left no where to look but his handsome brown eyes. "You've grown up so beautifully…"_

_ "Please. Please just…leave me alone. Let me go…please."_

_ "I'm not so sorry to say that I can't. I have big plans for you Ginevra and once I'm through with you I'll go after him. And you know just how noble he is, the guilt of what happened to you will make him an easy target. He may not care much about you, but he is full of pride. Just like all those years ago when his best friend begged him to save his little sister."_

_ I couldn't hear anymore of this, he was wrong. Tom was wrong; he saved me because he cared, not out of pride not out of guilt. He cared. The words repeated themselves in my head until they became foreign and wrong…he still hadn't come._

_ Perhaps Tom was right._

_ "Potter moved heaven and earth to save his Godfather. And now you see he wouldn't do the same for you. But don't fret love," Tom soothed, looking right into my eyes, "When and after I've had my fun and you're gone I'll soon put him out of his guilty misery." In a flash of excitement the beautiful brown eyes became a deep red._

_ No…no…_

"NOOOOOO!" My scream startled me upright in bed. I panted trying to regain control of my dizzy head realizing that, that was the sixth night mare in two weeks.

Tom owned me again.

Sleep hadn't been coming easy since Dumbledore was put to rest, nights dragged on, days blurred together. Each morning I woke with the same uneasy dread that I fell asleep with. Tom Riddle was in my head, and sometimes when I was most venerable I believed he was real and not just a figment of my imagination and my memories. Dumbledore had once offered me a chance to pour all the memories into his pensive and be done with it, but I had declined. They were too important to give up, if I had I would have been a coward, running away from my mistakes, I learned from them and I just couldn't forget.

At that moment however, sitting up in my bed sweating bullets, I hated myself for being so pretentious. Maybe Hermione was right, I was more like Harry than anyone realized with my self-sacrificing righteousness that clouded judgment on my well being. Suddenly I started crying, how could I try to help Harry see when I couldn't even see myself? What kind of hypocrite was I? Someone who tried to help others but yet couldn't even take the first step to help themselves.

My family was sleeping peacefully in the rooms above and there I was being completely miserable. We were all safe; none of us had been unfortunate so why was I just feeling sorry for myself?

Disgusted, I shoved the covers off of me and stood up. Not even bothering to slip on a robe or shoes I headed down to the kitchen. June of 1996 was a hot muggy one, mum was going bonkers hoping that the wedding which was taking place in the garden of the burrow, wouldn't be too uncomfortable. Fred and George thankfully calmed her down, simply reminding her that she was a witch. The kitchen at 4 am in the morning was a much different place than the kitchen in the middle of the day, without the hustle and bustle of what seemed like hundreds of growing teenage boys and an incredible cook of a mother it just seemed…lonely…quiet…and empty. Sort of what I had become the past few weeks.

I watched out the window wondering what was out there. Outside of the high security wards the Order had placed were there Death Eaters stalking around, waiting for their opening? Was it too risky to step outside for a breath of fresh air?

"Ginny?" I jumped, startled. The sound of my name coming from the dead of night somewhere behind me nearly stopped my heart. Hand on my thumping chest I turned around to find my mother just turning on the lights. "I'm sorry, did I frighten you dear?"

"Only a bit mum," I mumbled turning away from her once again. "What are you doing up?"

"I thought I heard someone, obviously I did."

Nodding I continued to gaze out of the window silently.

"Is something bothering you sweetheart?"

I had yet to tell my mum anything about the rather new change in relationship between Harry and I. If it was his wish to keep it a secret, then who was I to divulge it? Although it was kind of pointless now, considering that Malfoy and Snape were both well aware of it. "Nothing, just too hot to sleep."

I heard her take a few steps closer, "Did you open your window?"

"Yes."

"Ahh well, it shouldn't take long to cool down." Her voice was sentimental, and I had a sinking suspicion she wasn't talking about the summer temperature.

"I think I'll just get a glass of water and head back up then."

Mum was closer than I imagined her to be, she set a hand on my shoulder, "Nonsense, there is nothing better than tea to shove away the shakes."

I watched in complete awe as she found a pot and set it on the stove. "I'm not sure what you mean."

Sighing she said, "I'm your mother. It would be impossible for me not to know when you are troubled. Blame it on our mother's intuition."

I guess I was right, she knew. "I'm fine, honestly."

"How long have you been having these nightmares again Ginny? And don't you dare lie to me I can see right through you." I knew she couldn't, if I had a sickle for every time I had lied to my mother and gotten away with it I would be richer than the Queen of England, and the only other person I know richer than the queen of England was this Scottish author who wrote a seven part adventure series about an orphan boy and a far off boarding school. And there was no way I could compete with that, honestly who could come up with such an epic story?

How had she known? Had she told my brothers? My father? How would they look at my now? Poor little Ginny Weasley haunted by a memory again.

However I knew that telling the truth was the only right thing to do. "Ever since Dumbledore's funeral."

"Don't worry, I haven't said anything to anyone, not even your father, the Weasley men would be able to sleep through war."

I chuckled dryly at the half hearted joke. "I wish I could too."

Pursing her lips Molly Weasley contemplated my comment before turning back to the tea, I settled on the settee buy the kitchen table window.

"Have you considered dreamless sleep potions?"

"Well, I took one a few weeks ago, and it didn't seem to work." The dreams were too strong, too evil; too real.

"You haven't had such vivid dreams since the summer after your second year."

The feel of his breath on me the flash in his eyes…vivid didn't even begin to cover it. The reason the dreams were back were easy enough to figure out-

"Hang on, how did you know the dreams I've had the past few weeks were so vivid?"

She smiled, "As I said the Weasley men could sleep through anything, you've been talking in your sleep. I won't lie and say I haven't stopped to hear what it is you've been mumbling."

I looked away out the window feeling as though my most inner thoughts and feeling had just been scattered across the table. I felt open.

My mother noticed my discomfort instantly. "Ginny, I didn't mean to upset you…I just don't understand why you didn't come to me when this started. Why won't you talk to me?"

"There is nothing to talk about that we haven't already before. Dumbledore's death just brought back a lot of memories is all." I lied.

"How so?" she asked bringing a cup of tea and setting it before me.

"I…just began to remember everything he did for me after the incident with Tom Riddle's Diary."

"Hmp." She sat across from me and I avoided her eyes.

"I didn't want to worry anyone. There's enough to deal with right now, Bill getting married and all."

"Ginevra. Don't you ever hide the truth of your well being for someone else in this family. We are all still together thankfully; we will all help you and always put you first."

I nodded taking a sip of the tea. Swallowing the scorching liquid it ran down the length of my body relaxing it down to the core.

"Now, the truth this time young lady."

"The truth?"

"'Yes, you know very well you are keeping it from me. These nightmares haven't returned as memories. When you were eleven the dreams were the same all having to do with Tom taking control of you. But what I've been hearing is nothing of the sort." My mother was a smart woman I should have never underestimated her. "You've never once cried out Harry's name that I know of during your sleep before this summer." I flushed a hot red. "Under any normal circumstances I would take it as though you still had feelings for him, a few nights ago I thought-"

"MUM!" I put my cup down. "Why are you doing this to me? Isn't it hard enough? It's embarrassing and mortifying when it's in private but to have another person try to dissect it into some kind of riddle is just too much. Please, believe me, the dreams are only what happened in the chamber and Harry was there alright?"

"Then why do you casually walk out of the room when someone mentions him? Why is Ron always looking at you as though you are about to crack? And what was going on at the funeral? I saw you speaking with Harry and it didn't seem like it was anything good."

"WE WERE AT A FUNERAL! How could you expect anything less?" My voice was shrill enough to startle her but thankfully not loud enough to wake anyone.

"Why won't you tell me?" she asked in a small voice. "Why won't Ron?"

"I'm sorry mum, I am but there are going to be many things that you won't know, there's going to be many things that we won't be able to tell you and more so that Ron, Harry and Hermione won't be willing to explain." My guilt scratched at my heart. There was my wonderful mother who would do anything for her children and her surrogate ones as well, and we kept so much from her. Maybe telling her about Harry and I would be a small, but risky, compensation? It seemed only fair.

Looking into her eyes I saw the beginnings of tears. She sniffed once and blinked them away before they could fall. She understood. For now. I knew my mother well enough to know that there was no way in Merlin she was going to let this go. "Fine then. We'll discuss that later. But, at least answer me this, what did you mean by 'Harry hasn't abandoned me'?"

Her words reversed the effect of the calming tea. "What is he doing to protect you?" I closed my eyes.

"He…well…I…Harry and I were seeing each other last spring."

I didn't hear a gasp or a dropped tea cup. Nothing changed, as though I hadn't spoken. Slowly I opened one eye, and then the other. She was staring and smiling at me fondly, the tears finally escaping. "I see." She breathed.

"It's not…not what you think-"

"You've broken up."

"How did you know?"

"I suspected…well, watching the two of you after Dumbledore died, the way you looked at him the way he watched you when he thought no one was watching, the way you supported him through the ceremony. I don't think anyone else realized, but a mother knows. Just before Harry walked away from you I saw your face, understanding and collected, but heartbroken. You saw it coming hadn't you?"

"I would have been surprised if it hadn't." I confessed. I missed Harry so much; it hurt to think he was all alone at the Dursley's.

"Can I ask why? From what I saw it seemed you two were good for each other."

I smiled. "We were. We are."

"Then?"

"Harry is a very noble guy. He's got it in his head that because of his feelings he'd put me in danger."

"Lovely boy that one. He's right, and wrong. And you? You let him make that decision on his own?"

"For his own sake of sanity. He doesn't need to worry himself about me right now."

My mum sighed, "And if it were up to you?"

I blushed. "If it had been up to me alone…I'd be up all night writing him letters, and reading ones he sent me, then going to bed in the morning with a goofy grin on my face. But of course I never told you that." I added with a laugh. Thinking about how wonderful it would be to fall asleep after hearing from him, about his day, his thoughts, and his words. I wished for it more than I had all summer.

"If you can't tell your mother who can you tell?"

"No one. And you can't tell anyone either. Ron and Hermione know to act as though nothing happened."

Mum took a sip from her cup and then said knowingly, "And when Harry comes for the end of the summer? How will you two be acting?"

"I'm not sure how it'll be for him but I know I'm going to be hurting." I admitted.

"From the glances he had been giving you sweetheart, he'll be hurting just as much."

"Really?"

"I'm sure of it."

We sat in an uneasy silence, thinking about why it had to be this way, and how unfair it was to everyone. It was a relief to tell her now, a small portion of the weight lifted from my shoulders.

"You're in love with him aren't you?"

"What?"

"When you were younger I knew of course that you fancied him, I thought it was one of the sweetest things I have ever witnessed, but now, it's deeper isn't it? You really do love him?"

My eyes drifted off out the window once more. "Yes, I do."

"Good. Merlin knows that boy needs all the love he can get." Why was it that mother's always seemed to know what to say? It was as though they read into your mind and came up with exactly what you needed to hear. "He loves you too, even if he hasn't realized it yet, from what you told me, I'm positive."

"How?"

She didn't even have to think about it,

"It's what love is, sacrificing your own happiness for the well being of the other, understanding and unconditional love are all a part of it Ginny. Harry is nowhere near perfect, and you have had your fair share of troubling times and issues. But yet you care for the other without a second thought. That's what unconditional love is, and you know how to help him, when he doesn't know how to help himself. It's what makes you perfect for each other. And it's what makes me sure you love him and he you. I know you're young, but with this war and everything you both have been through its only normal to have grown up quickly."

She said this with the occasional tear, of joy and regret, but overall, lovingly.

It created a new point of view of my relationship with Harry, one that I could live with the fact that we weren't together. I hurt, it still broke my heart, but with my mother's reassurance at least I could fall asleep knowing that what he had-have was real, and worthy of lasting.

"Off to bed with you know, the wedding is coming up and this will be one of the last lie ins you'll have for until after the party."

I nodded and stood, still unable of saying anything and headed for the stairs. Before I made it however I turned around to find my mother staring out the window just as I had, crying. I flitted back to her and pressed a kiss on her moist cheek.

Then proceeded upstairs to my room.

The days passed quickly but not without incident. Mum hadn't breathed a word of my nightmare or our late night chat, she had by that time completely immersed herself in thoughts of the wedding, and the wedding only. But I didn't quite miss the glances she threw me each morning as I came down for breakfast, inspecting for dark rings and sleep deprived eyes no doubt.

The muggle world, as I heard from my father, was beginning to notice something was wrong. It was an invisible force they were dealing with, not sure what to think or how to act upon it. I had never really been involved with the muggle world and so I wasn't sure as to what they were planning on doing. Obviously not much, death and murder was playing a large role in both civilizations, we were the only ones who knew why and how.

And to add on to the sorrow, Ollivander still hadn't been found.

We kept up with the Order as headquarters would soon be moved to the burrow once Harry arrived. July was flying by when the long time plan to collect Harry from the Dursley's for the last time was set into motion. As he was turning 17 the protection and safety of number four Privet Drive would break due to his coming of age.

I was beginning to feel nervous as the time grew closer. What would I say to him when he arrived? How would we act? Friendly? Awkwardly? Would we go back to not being friends at all and rarely ever speak? Would anyone notice? Would he _want_ anyone to notice?

"We've leaked a fake trail throughout the Ministry," Mad-Eye-Moody informed us one night as he stopped by for the usually Order update. "The story is that the Order of the Phoenix won't be moving Potter until the thirteenth." He continued.

I never really had a relationship per say with Alastor Moody. He was always such a driven force with a hard exterior that I was intimidated by. Yes I know, Ginny Weasley –intimidated? Don't laugh, one look at him and you'd understand. Not that I didn't respect him, Merlin knew I thought that man was one hell of an Auror. I would trust him with anything. From Afar.

"Have they taken the bait?" My father asked.

"We are almost certain they have, but it's still not worth it to risk it. Constant Vigilance."

I stayed silent as it wasn't my place to comment. See even I had my standards, I knew when to interfere my lungs out, and when to keep my trap shut and be respectful. But I just really didn't want to ruin the fact that they hadn't sent me away. Using Extendable Ears for every conversation wasn't as dandy as it sounded.

"It's better this way, Harry will be able to spend his birthday with us!"Mum exclaimed joyously. I could practically hear the wheels in her head turning, she walked away muttering something about a cake in the shape of a snitch.

That of course was a dilemma all on its own. What in Merlin's name was I supposed to get The-Boy-Who-I-love-but-am-broken-up-with-even-though-he-loves-me-just-as-much-although-no-one-can-know for his birthday?

Nothing too personal, especially if we didn't want anyone to get suspicious. Could I get away with not getting him anything? I knew there was no way I could do that even if no one would notice. He meant too much to me for me to ignore his 17th birthday.

How was I supposed to act when he arrived? There still was no answer.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Er…peeling potatoes?"

"Then I'm peeling potatoes."

"You don't have to be so cheeky." Ron grumbled pulling up a chair next to mine in the kitchen.

"Then my charm wouldn't be as charming." I shrugged dropping one rather large one into the growing peeled pile.

He sighed, "I guess…so mums making a big dinner tonight?"

"Yup it'll be the first time just the whole family will be home for dinner in a long while." There was an awkward heaviness in the air, where the hippogriff in the room clearly told us that the whole family wouldn't be home. We were kidding ourselves by pretending that the fact that Percy had yet to come home and reconnect with his family didn't affect us.

"Yea…the _whole_ family." I met his eyes, seeing the sadness in them. Ron truly was the most sensitive of the pack, he missed his brother. And so did I. But that didn't mean Percy still wasn't being a stupid prick. "Pass me a potato would you?"

I laughed once and handed it to him. "Are you going to peel it, or eat it?"

"It's not even cooked!"

"Would that stop you?"

Ron's ears went pink as he thought about it. "Yes." He muttered. He lied.

"What's the mood for? It'll be a nice night. Fred and George probably have loads of jokes to pull on Bill tonight seeing that it's his last week as a bachelor. Mum'll probably get teary eyed, Dad will try to not laugh, Charlie will start a food fight, and you'll eat until your heart's content."

"And you?"

"What about me? I'll just be thrown in the mix." I smiled thinking of how I couldn't wait to watch my family chaos; it was times like those where war didn't seem to exist. It was a respectable distraction.

Ron tossed his freshly skinned potato in the pile leaning over to grab another one. "Well you're definitely excited to have just the family home."

"What aren't you?"

"Well… yea."

"So then?"

"Well it just seems like you wish Harry weren't coming at all, like you'd rather him stay away. And I-"

"I didn't even mention Harry. Why did you have to bring him into this?" The potato I was working on lost a deep chunk. We were having a completely normal conversation, and somehow he'd just flipped the whole thing around. To say I found it annoying was an understatement.

"He's always been in this, but Ginny, you're my sister, and I never wanted to have to choose between the two of you. Now it seems like I'm going to have to." Ron's voice was full of ammunition but I could see the pain it caused him to say those words. I bet he'd been practicing.

"Ron. You don't have to choose between us, if you do I'm going to have to hex you."

"How can you say that? He ditched you! It's bound to be awkward when he comes."

I rolled my eyes. "Grow up Ron; we're a little more mature than that." I failed to mention that my fears mimicked his.

He ignored my comment, "If you don't want him here this summer, just say the word, I'll…talk to him he'll just have to-"

"To what?" I spat. "Find somewhere else to stay? The Leaky Cauldron perhaps, unprotected and alone? Oh, I'm sure you meant stay with those foul muggles I suppose; oh he'll just love that! Ron, have you even heard yourself? After all he's done for us; Harry is part of this family. Yes I know what we were talking about moments ago, but if I knew you'd take it like that I wouldn't have passed you a potato and told you to leave me alone. Harry's coming here, not just because I- we want him here, but because it's out of our hands anyway. The Order has had this planned for ages."

I exhaled, regretting the throbbing pain in my head from ranting without oxygen.

Ron lost all power to speak for a few minutes as we just sat there being unproductive depressing bums.

That's all we had turned into that summer, everyone was brooding, or trying to distract themselves with the upcoming wedding. Fake smiles, forced laughter. And not one person in the damned house had mentioned anything about Quidditch all summer long. I suddenly missed our pick-up games in the backyard pitch. War was hell. It was an alternate universe which made the Weasley's forget about Quidditch.

"I just don't want to see you hurt." Came the whispered voice of my brother.

I swallowed. "I'm not hurt."

"Yes you are! I can see it in your eyes! I may be an oblivious prat a lot of the time but I know how much you liked him, I know how much you still do. And if it's only going to get worse when he actually gets here…I'd rather spare you the pain." He hung his head low completely forgetting the half peeled vegetable in his hand.

"I'm not a spineless little girl anymore Ron." I said. "Sure, I miss him, yes I wish things worked out differently, but I am strong enough to hold tight. You and I both know this wasn't his fault, it wasn't what he wanted. And the last thing I want is for you to be mad at him over this, we were his family, he needs us."

"I know. It's just going to be hard to look him in the face and not want to say the things an older brother should say in this case."

"It's not a normal case."

Ron half smiled. "I guess it never is with us. Well anyway, I don't think we should tell any of our brothers. I'm not really sure how Fred and George would take it with Harry being their friend and all, but Charlie and Bill might see things differently. Besides I understand you both want to keep this uncommon knowledge." He picked up the peeler again.

"Thanks Ron, I was kind of worried you'd say something."

"No. Let's make sure it stays quiet." He looked over at me suddenly as though he thought of something. "You've been really good about things lately, when did you grow up?"

"Right after you. I'm only a year younger dimwit." I laughed.

The silence surrounded us once again as we continued our work. Mum had given me enough potatoes to feed the country, I figured it was just enough for us, considering the appetites of my brothers.

"I didn't want you to think I hadn't noticed the way you were feeling, I'm not that much of a git to ignore when my sister is heartbroken…"

"I know that Ron." I replied softly.

"I was…expecting it I guess…since I saw the two of you last year together…so I don't think anyone else had been able to tell."

"Mum did, of course. I told her everything."

Ron gasped, his blue eyes widening, "Everything?"

"Well, not everything. And I told her there would be things you couldn't tell her either."

He nodded. "Thanks. I guess that'll keep her off my back for a while." So my mother was a worry then? Ron didn't want her hounding him for answers, which I knew now he had.

I bit my lip, wondering if my brother could tell me the things I still didn't understand. Would he trust me enough? Would he push me away like the little girl he thought I was? I tried anyway. "After Harry turns seventeen…there's something he has to do isn't there?" I whispered. "Something that has to do with the prophecy."

He froze, his menstruations with the peeler and potatoes ceased. "I…don't know what you're talking about."

I closed my eyes. "_Please_, Ron. I know you do. Please. Please tell me." What was so bad that it had to be kept a secret from me? The-Girl-Who-Survived-Voldemort so to speak? What was it that I wouldn't understand or that I couldn't be trusted with? Harry was in trouble again, I could feel it. I needed to know.

"I can't Ginny."

"Why? Why can you and Hermione be part of whatever is happening while I'm pushed away at the sidelines? Haven't I at least earned some more respect than that? Some trust? I don't deserve this." Tears of desperation were threatening my eyes; I don't think Ron had ever seen me cry, but there didn't seem to be much of a choice for me.

Looking at me he almost lost his resolve. I saw it, the flash of pity and guilt, the small opening of his mouth where he would tell me what I needed to hear. Would he say something about a Horcrux? Whatever that was. Would he tell me the prophecy?

Suddenly my hopes were crushed when he shook his head and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry." He said, standing up and turning away.

"Bloody Hell Ron! It's as though you three have formed come kind of cult where if you say something you'll die some terrible death!" I cried with a sarcastic laugh. "What'll happen when we all go back to school? You honestly think you'll be able to keep your mouth shut there? And the Order? You don't think they'll have questions too?"

Ron turned back to me in a flash, something unreadable in his worried expression. "I know that. But it doesn't matter."

"What? What in Merlin's name does _'it doesn't matter'_mean? The only way this wouldn't matter is if you weren't going back to school. As if you three were running away or something. I guess that would make sense seeing as there's something important going on that you won't tell anyone!" I was so angry I didn't even know what words were coming out of my mouth. I was mad at Ron, at Hermione, at Percy, at Voldemort even Harry! I just wanted to scream at the world for being so merciless.

Everything was falling to disaster, no matter how we try to act, no matter how long and hard we work at keeping up this façade with the happy wedding, everyone could see the cracks beneath us. Everyone saw each other slipping through the cracks, and we didn't say anything. I had enough of it.

When I looked back at Ron it took a moment to realize his face told me everything I needed to.

"What? You're acting as if you _are_ going to run away or something." I spat wiping at the few tears that escaped.

My brother gulped and remained silent.

"Ron?" I didn't understand why he had become so withdrawn. I had only suggested he wasn't going back to school.

But… he was.

"I'm sorry." He whispered walking away. He stopped at the doorway to the kitchen and muttered one last thing with the flick of his wand, and disappeared. When I finally did take my eyes away from the spot where he had just been I found all the potatoes completely peeled.

"There's been another change of plans."

"Another?"

Mad-Eye nodded, his one wild eye fixed on my father. "The Order has concocted a new way to confuse the Death Eaters in a worst case scenario."

"Worst case being what?"

"That they know we are moving him tonight, that they are there when we do."

I shook my head. "But that won't happen."

"We have to be prepared for anything."

My father took a seat at our kitchen table, "So what is this new plan?"

Stomps from the stairs announced the arrival of Ron and Hermione. "New plan?" Hermione asked.

"Yes, and we'll be needing the both of you." Mad-eye motioned to my brother and his soon-to-be-girlfriend (It was just a matter of when).

Automatically the pair straightened growing at least an inch taller, "Anything."

I raised an eye brow waiting for him to turn to me and ask for my help next, however he only just continued. "With a gradual amount of poly juice potion there will be several Harry Potters flying out of Little Whinging tonight. Each accompanied by an Order member."

"How many Harry Potters?"

"Seven."

I smiled, they would need me. Hermione joined me, "So I'm assuming that Ron and I will be taking the potion to become Harry? Making seven decoys? It's brilliant!"

"Uhg, more poly juice potion? I swore I'd never take it again."

"Again?" My father's surprised curiosity made me have to cover a laugh with a cough. My father went unnoticed.

"Ron! This is to help your best friend, and you're complaining? How could you be so dense?"

"Dense? The only thing that's dense-"

"Shut it! The both of you, Merlin you've been driving me bonkers!" I snapped ending the growing bicker.

"Who did you have in mind for this whole operation? You'll not only need seven Potters but you'll need seven members." My father returned to the situation at hand.

"Remus and Nymphodora are on their way, Hagrid is bringing Fletcher by his ears, I've spoken to your twins and they are closing up their shop now, Kingsley, you Ron, Hermione, Bill and obviously Potter and myself."

I began calculating in my head desperately making sure he had left one out, and that one would have to be me. I smirked when I resulted to only 13.

"Mad-eye," I called sweetly, "You're still missing one person." Finally! I was being called to for help! I would be able to do something rather than sit on my arse all day. Sure I was at the ministry, and yes I gave a fight to the Death Eaters at the end of last term but this time I wouldn't be reprimanded for it! Not that I would care anyway, it's just better to not have to hear the screaming and yelling.

"Oh yes, Bill said Fleur was up to it, I just associate the two together. They'll be here soon."

Hermione winced and Ron sniggered, knowing where I had been going with my correction.

"Fleur?" Phlegm? The cow who had just been recently been added to my tolerated list? "Is that a joke?"

"I don't see why it would be anything but serious."

My father eyes me curiously when he noticed my fists clench dangerously.

"It's just… Fleur…I mean, is she even qualified?"

"She'd of age; she's a top witch, she was in the Triwizard Tournament."

"But-"

"Ginny, don't." Hermione whispered in my ear but I ignored her.

"She doesn't have enough experience with this kind of thing! She wasn't there at the attack on Hogwarts! She wasn't even at the Department of Mysteries!" I cried.

"As opposed to you," My father sighed.

I turned to him, "YES! Why can't I go? Haven't I proven myself yet?"

Moody rubbed his temples, "If you think I'm going to let a 15 year old on a-"

"I'll be 16 in two weeks! And it's not as though anyone ever stopped Harry when he was even younger!"

"Enough! I've had enough of this; we are wasting enough time as it is. We leave as soon as the sun goes down. Be prepared." With a final grunt Moody trudged out the door leaving us four silent in the kitchen.

How could they continue to do this to me? It was a knife to the back, if anyone should have gone to retrieve Harry it should have been me. But Fleur? She barely made it to fourth place in the tournament!

"Ginny-"

"This is wrong. It's wrong and completely unfair."

"Sweetheart," Dad sighed, "I can't be worried about you right now, you're my youngest and you'd be a help to your mum."

There it was again, the typical argument and excuse. I was the youngest, always considered as the helpless little girl. The one who needed protecting, the one who would never grow up. That's what everyone saw me as, except for Harry. Well no recently anyway.

I knew that Harry only thought of me as Ron's little sister for a while, but I don't think that ever changed the fact that he saw me as an equal when it came to Voldemort. Yes, there have been times when Harry chose to forget what happened but with everything else going on I could hardly blame him, it was years ago. But when he or someone did bring it up I could see in the way he looked at me that I wasn't just some little girl, I was someone who understood what he went through, someone he could relate to. Someone who just knew how hard it was to be connected to Voldemort.

He let me fight by his side at the Ministry, he saved some liquid luck for me and asked that I help fight to keep Hogwarts safe when the Death Eaters broke into the school. Although he didn't fight to hard against my brother when I _was_pushed aside, he was never the one to exclude me, which was always Ron.

As I thought it through I realized that maybe I could get Harry to tell me everything he was hiding, if I came to him as a friend –nothing more- and appealed to him as his equal.

Yea right, even though he didn't think of me as Ron's little sister anymore there still was a huge part of him that was too noble to risk my life by feeding me information, no matter how he treated me. Honestly, he sees Fred and George as his equals right? You don't see them knowing anything.

I didn't feel like fighting anymore, my mind was filled with thoughts of Harry, and lately that never put me in a right mood.

"Youngest, fine. But that doesn't mean I'm young." I said walking into the kitchen, I would have loved a fire whiskey seeing as the first and only time I tried it Fred and George made me take enough to forget everything that was going on. I had a really bad day with Umbridge; you can't blame a girl for that. Unfortunately at the time we only had butterbeer.

I sat and drank by myself re-organizing my thoughts and arguments, enjoying the refreshing creamy, bubbly taste, getting ready to go at this again. I wanted to fight tooth and nail until the only way they made me stay was by cursing me unconscious.

Soon enough the next opportunity presented itself. Fleur was speaking with my mum and Hermione about last minute seating arrangements while my father and brothers sat around the wireless listening to a match.

"If anyone should go get Harry it should be me!" My outburst was met with silence. My father and his quiet demeanor pondering my meaning as my brothers each shared knowing grins.

"Jealous are we now?" Fred started. I shouldn't have been surprised that this conversation would veer into this topic, I was digging myself into a whole from the moment I opened my mouth. But there was no way I would let Fleur win.

"Maybe Fleur will use her wiles on Harry and he'll just fall for it the same way Bill here did."

Charlie, who was here on vacation from Romania for the wedding, snorted but regained his composure after watching the smack upside the head Fred and George got from Bill.

"Shut up the both of you, Ginny doesn't even like Harry anymore, right Ginny?"

All eyes returned to me once again, Fred and George rubbing their heads with a scowl, Charlie looking highly amused, Bill annoyed and expectant, Percy missing, and Ron was nervous. His gaze warned me and slightly without anyone taking notice he shook his head, and I played my part.

"Of course not. I just want to go, Harry is one of my…best friends, and I'm used to these insane rescue missions by now. I don't want to be left behind again." Somehow I couldn't get the picture of Harry falling prey to some veela while he was so vulnerable, alone, and ultimately single. It made my stomach uneasy.

Bill shrugged, "Ginny face it. You are still under age. Not only is it illegal for you to be participating in Order business but you can't do magic, it's a liability if we run into trouble."

"But-"

"Ginny. Please listen." Dad called sternly. "Your brother is absolutely right, like I said I can't be worried, we can't gamble you like this we can't be checking up to make sure you are fine. Your job is to stay here with your mother; she'll need you to be on watch for when we return."

"What kind of job is that? Just say it dad, I can't go, I'm too little to be involved! Don't go around trying to make me feel important when I'm not, I'm not going to fall for it! I'M NOT 6 YEARS OLD ANYMORE!"

I hadn't meant to lose my temper, honest. However I didn't think my brothers knew that, they each took a step back, my father closed his eyes. I knew I could be scary at times, times that I enjoyed the power I had over my brothers, but I must have looked terrifying right then for the fear across the room was plainly visible.

"Gine-"

"It's not right dad. It isn't," I said planting my feelings firmly, calming myself down in the process.

"Sorry, Ginny," George courageously stepped out of the line of brothers, closely followed by Fred trying to lighten the mood.

"But don't worry-"

"We'll make sure your _friend-_"

"Makes it home safe and sound."

"Notice how we use the term _friend_very lightly."

"I think she did George."

"I agree Fred."

After all these years they never gave up those ridiculous jokes, you'd think they would have grown out of it, or tire of them but then again when have any of my brothers been remotely normal.

"No Ginny. You will stay home and that's final." My dad was always a reasonable man, I believe the only time I had ever seen him actually mad to the point of frightening in the summer of 1987 when Fred and George tried to get Ron to make an unbreakable vow with them. However I knew when he said no he meant it.

I suddenly felt very small despite my arguing that I wasn't a child. Five of my brothers towered over me watching for my reaction, it didn't help that they were all so bloody tall while I was on the petite side. My brother's I had to admit were turning out to be handsome blokes, different shades and lengths of red hair, all blue eyed like dad, and each well built. I would have probably teased them about it but at that moment as they stared at me quizzically as though I happened to be some sort of experiment; I thought they looked rather prat-ish.

"Bugger it. You can all just sod off." I muttered defeated and upset. They were being so stubborn it was hopeless. I stomped up the stairs but was still able to hear Charlie chuckling in awe,

"She still had it bad."

"That she does brother," agreed Fred.

"That she does."

But the time I made it the second landing where my room was located I had no idea what I was going to do with all the raging anger inside me. Bill was right, that git, I wasn't seventeen yet and so magic was not a possibility no matter how much I wanted to curse or hex someone. It seemed that whatever damage I needed done was going to come from me.

Kicking my bed out of that anger and frustration wasn't a good idea, only I didn't realize that fact until I was doubled over in pain.

"Bloody hell," I muttered clasping my throbbing toe.

Did life really have to be this unfair? Taking a breath I fell on top my bed not intending on getting up anytime soon.

I felt as though I was eleven again, sitting on my bed listening to the sounds of my brothers descending the stairs outside my bedroom. It reminded me of the night they snuck out to rescue Harry from the Dursley's in the Ford Anglia, the night they left me behind.

Look how far I'd come. Ahh the irony.

When the footsteps disappeared I waited a few more minutes as I heard the voices downstairs. I paced until the distant sounds of disapparition and slamming doors made me freeze, then after collecting myself, I rush down the stairs.

"Oh! There you are Ginny." My mum breathed, visibly flustered and washing the dishes, by hand.

"Has everyone gone?" I asked though the answer was obvious.

"Yes dear, they've all gone."

"When are-"

"Ginevra." My full name was never used as an endearment; usually it was only ever used by my brothers when they tried to get a rise out of me, and when my parents were being short with me. I snapped my mouth shut. "Listen to me," she continued, "I know you. And if you think you are going to start hovering around asking questions or making comments every few minutes you have another thing coming. They will return when they return."

I swallowed then nodded.

"I'm stressed enough at the moment, this wedding will be the end of me I swear it."

The wedding, _of course_ that's what it was. She was my mother just like I couldn't lie to her (on a regular basis) she couldn't lie to me. She was scared, scared for our family and friends, it screamed from her eyes.

"Sweetheart," she sighed, "They are all going to be reporting to different portkeys, the first one is due to arrive at ten." Wiping her hands on her apron she kissed my forehead, "He'll be home soon safe and sound at last. Now, why don't you help me by going up and making his bed. I'm sure he hasn't had one good night's sleep all summer."

"Yes mum." Taking one last look at the front door I headed up the stairs.

"Oh and Ginny? Have you gotten Harry's birthday present yet? If you haven't tomorrow we'll go to Diagon Alley alright?"

"That's fine mum!" I replied hastily dying to be out of her eye sight. At least she wasn't smothering me as I expected she would, it seemed the both f us needed our own space tonight.

Pulling the last sheet onto the spare bed in Ron's room a sudden wave of dread hit me and I let it push me back onto the newly made bed. It was nausea, anxiety, and nerves all rolled into one big lump sitting in my stomach. I usually only had those inkling feeling at times similar to that one; every time I would open Tom's Diary I would ignore it, but I wasn't able to when I was waiting for Harry to emerge from the maze during the third task, and after Harry ran after Bellatrix at the ministry. This stomach ache only ever occurred when Voldemort decided to take his head out of the ground and wreck havoc.

I closed my eyes. I wasn't stupid I knew it was a warning that something terrible was happening. How easy would it be for anyone of them to get hurt? And Harry? He had all the forces of evil gaining strength to go after him! He was living life day to day. Some part of me wondered why Voldemort was so set on killing Harry, but another part knew that Tom wasn't one who took defeat easily.

He once told me Harry was the only one who ever got the best of him, even at the young age of one. Of course he wouldn't rest until he proved that no one would get away with that. Until he was the ultimate wizard, he would destroy anyone who ever or would ever stand in the way of that. He would come back with vengeance.

Where did that leave Harry? In utter torment, hoping and praying to find some kind of happiness. He was being hunted, and yet I told Harry myself that I knew he wouldn't be happy unless he was hunting Voldemort. Maybe Harry _was_the Chosen One, it would make sense. And it was obviously Ron knew the prophecy the way he seemed so nervous I just knew. I didn't doubt Harry was the one who would end up saving the world, but it wasn't anything to be happy about. However, he did say I made him happy.

I could do it again, forget what he said about my safety, I could raise his spirits so he can do whatever it was he need to do better than any stray veela…because I _knew_ Harry Potter. I knew what he needed.

I would have to tell mum that I didn't need to go to Diagon Alley tomorrow. I had a pretty good idea what I was getting Harry for his birthday.

Memoirs of A Red


	18. Gold The Color of Firewhiskey

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

**Entry 17: Gold; The Color of Firewhiskey**

"You say you're leaving as you look away,

I know there's really nothing left to say,

Just I'm here whenever you need me I'll wait for you,

So I'll let you go. I'll set you free

And when you see what you need to see

When you find you, come back to me..."

-Come Back to Me, David Cook

I remember when he left. We all saw it coming, we knew that something had to give; this sluggish struggle against invisible forces could only go on for so long. No matter how hard we tried to deny it.

My brother, my best friend and ex-boy-friend had a mission, and there was absolutely nothing we could do to stop them.

The night wore on; I had left Harry's room after controlling my stomach and placed myself by the window in the sitting room. It wasn't exactly exciting, watching the blackened sky; there was silence, darkness…and nothing else.

I used that time to organize my thoughts and set a plan as you might call it, a strategy of how I would handle being around Harry at and before the wedding. But of course with that thought brought the death of Dumbledore, the major reason to our break up. Then that lead my thoughts to the betrayal of Snape, then the war, Voldemort and my nightmares. Nightmares which had turned into witnessing the deaths of my friends again…Sirius, Cedric, Dumbledore…

I wasn't surprised to find myself tearing by the time I couldn't add any more to the list. It was like fighting quicksand; everything at some point only brought you down. It was as though someone was having a grand old time writing the tragedy of our fate. Making things only get worse and worse, and earning millions of galleons while doing it. As I thought about it, it truly was a grand idea…what a story our experiences would make…maybe Hermione would be up to it. She could transform it into a series, having all witches and wizards clinging on to her every word. We could even release it to the muggles; they would fall in love with the books but never even suspect it to be true.

Harry of course would be the main character; the tittles would be ridiculous, something along the lines of Harry Potter and the Diary of Tom Riddle…or better yet Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets! We would all add input and make sure to leave nothing out…

It was during my incoherent daydreaming that the distinct pop of apparition came from outside.

"MUM!" I screamed, but it was in vain as she had heard it too. We both rushed to the back yard only to find a rusty old oil can on the ground. "Mum?"

"That was Ron and Tonk's port key. They should have been back first." She explained as her face turned unusually pale.

The lump in my stomach grew heavier.

"Next should be your father and Fred's, then Harry and Hagrid's, followed by Remus and George's within the minute," she divulged. Why she felt she needed to keep that information until then was beyond me.

And as though on cue, a pop announced the arrival of yet another port key, this one in the shape on an ancient shoe. "That's not dad," I whispered.

She swallowed, "Nor is it your brother."

"What's going on mum? Where are they?"

"Ginny, does it look like I have any clue?"

Truthfully, I knew it was a stupid question for me to ask; she would have obviously told me. "Yeah…I guess you're right."

"Back inside then, the next isn't due to arrive for another fifteen minutes or so."

We paced. Dear Merlin did we pace. Up and down, left and right. Weasley woman should not be left behind for anything, it didn't suit us. It seemed to take forever for the next pop to come.

There were two figures in the yard, my heart went wild as it realized who it must be. Third was,

"HARRY!" mum cried. An enormous shadow hit the ground when it landed and was now clambering up to its feet; there was only one person I knew who was that big.

When we reached them I could hardly think straight, I was searching for injuries, anything really, while my mother questioned them. Even in the complete darkness with only limited moonlight, Harry was still just as handsome as always; his eyes seemed to glow in the contrast with the darkness around us.

"As soon as we reached the barriers of the wards there were Death Eaters everywhere," Harry explained. At the mention of Death Eaters my palms broke out into a sweat, I swallowed. The instant image of all those I cared for surrounded by Death Eaters was sickening. Harry was practically begging us for forgiveness with his eyes, as though it was his fault, as thought we would ever blame him for something like this.

Stupid git.

He continued to tell us that Voldemort had caught up with them.

"Thank Heavens your safe then!" Mum pulled him into a fierce hug, and I had wanted to follow her example but I still hadn't found the will to approach him yet. But of course all of a sudden my mother rushed inside to get something for Hagrid, leaving me alone with Harry to explain things.

Without thinking about it, the moment he turned to me I just spat out all the information I knew. I told him the order in which everyone was to arrive. Or well…supposed to arrive.

Mum finally returned with what seemed like a bottle of brandy, and as she handed it to Hagrid a shimmering light began glowing a few feet away, "Mum!"

Within moments Lupin and George appeared, and Harry was helping Remus carry my obviously unconscious brother into the house. It was a mad scramble as the lot of us rampaged into the house; I was personally desperate for some kind of light source. However it was close to impossible to not notice the dark stains covering most of George's robes and face. I had seen it enough to know what it was but still in those first few moments I didn't let myself feel anything until I saw proof, and even after, I promised I would hold it together.

After all, because I was left behind I had something to prove didn't I?

But it was inevitable; he was my brother, and so when light finally flowed in I gasped. George was missing an ear.

Many things happened in succession, as Harry stepped out of the way once dropping George at the sofa, my mother stepped in and Harry was being dragged into the kitchen rather harshly by Lupin. The sight wasn't anything nice to watch, "Harry!" I called after him beginning to follow.

"Ginny! I need your help here!" Mum warned. Torn, I looked back towards the kitchen.

Suddenly I found myself bent over George helping my mother wipe off the blood and end the source of the bleeding. The adrenaline made everything hyperactively clear. George's shallow breathing, my mum's frantic but purposed hands... the light glow of the lamp.

"Oi! Le' go of him! Le' go of Harry!" Hagrid's booming voice in the background was clear as well. I shifted George's head again to give her a better shot with her wand.

"I'm sure he'll be fine. I'm sure it's just the ear. It's not fatal. I'm sure many people have lost an ear." I didn't even think my mother was talking to me anymore.

"Wha' was tha' about?" Hagrid's voice roared yet again.

What was what about? Where the bloody hell was everyone?

"Mum. When is the next port key supposed to arrive?"

"What?" she asked not really listening.

"The next port key? When is it supposed to arrive?"

"Um… I believe," she sighed taking a slight second to check her watch, "in two minutes."

"Right, thanks."

There was hardly any blood left now. "Ginny, rearrange the pillows here like this to prop his head up some more."

I did as I was told. As I took George's head, Lupin, followed by Harry and Hagrid, abruptly dashed back through the room. Dropping George's head, I stood.

"Ginny!" Mum yelped when my brother's head landed with a thump.

They rushed back out to the yard without even a glance in our direction. "Mum it's the port key!"

"GINEVRA! I need your attention! Your brother is missing an ear for crying out loud!"

"He has another one, mother!" I hated to sound so unconcerned but I really had no control in what I was saying for I was too distracted trying to make out the two new figures outside.

"Merlin help me these children…" she frustratingly muttered.

I knew it was Hermione by the large brush around her head. I breathed a sigh of relief, at least she seemed conscious.

I sank back down to the ground and took a look at my brother. Even without a second ear he was still handsome. "It's Hermione and Kingsley. They seem alright."

"Good. Good. That's good." Even though the whole in his head was cleaned up mum was still working I watched her fluttering hands work.

"Why won't he wake up? What do you think he was hit with?"

"I'm not sure, some kind of…cutting curse…"

"_SNAPE?" _Harry's voice burst out, loud enough to hear from where I sat.

Snape. Sectumsempra. "Never mind. I know what he was hit with."

"What-" but she was cut off when Hagrid and Harry re-entered.

"Is he alright?"

"It won't grow back, I doubt that any Skele-Gro or spell would work, but he's alive. That's all that matters." Harry nodded at my mum, and then turned to me.

"That was Hermione and Kingsley in the yard just now wasn't it?" I asked

"Yes."

"Thank Merlin." I whispered catching his gaze. The green eyes I was so used to looking into, and for a while I did without having to sneak to do it, stared back the way they did before Dumbledore died. It was a warm feeling to have Harry back, right there, next to me, how could I have been so nervous with his arrival? In that moment I could almost forget that anything had changed…that we were still together…

"I'll prove who I am, Kingsley after I've seen my son, now back off if you know what's good for you!" My father's voice right then was like a cold bucket of water on a hot day. Totally surprising and startling, but refreshing all the same.

It made sense now why Lupin had grabbed at Harry when they first arrived, it seemed the order was checking to see if there were any intruders. The paranoia was at an all time high. And after that night I knew it was only going to get worse.

Fred entered behind dad, I don't think I had ever seen him so solemn…so…pale. Mum lost it at that point, she began to sob. "Oh thank goodness you're alright Arthur!"

It was a miracle to say the least when George chose that moment to come back to the world of the living; so to speak, it was as though the mere presence of his twin roused him. It was so sweet.

And then the first thing out of George's mouth? He had everyone leaning in like we were about to hear some kind of last will and testament, each of us hanging on a string, not even daring to speak as his eyes fluttered open and his eyes focused, and what did he do?

He told a joke.

And I knew that they at least were going to be ok.

Harry caught my eye again, and gave me that same motion of the head to follow him outside as he did the first time he kissed me. It wasn't time to think about that though. There were people missing. We weren't home free just yet.

But I followed of course. "Ron and Tonks should be back by now." I said the second we were out of earshot.

Harry said nothing and I studied his face, he was feeling guilty again. Most likely he hadn't stopped it in the first place. I was worried about my brothers; he was worried about his best friend and the only people in his life he knew he could trust. At that moment we only had each other and maybe that's why I took his hand. Because I wanted him to know that I was always going to be there for him, maybe I was just feeling selfish and didn't want to let him go. But whichever reason I found it didn't matter much when Harry didn't let go.

We walked over to the small group consisting of Lupin, Hagrid, Kingsley and Hermione and watched the skies no one seemed to notice we had even joined them. Silence was soon met with a loud pop as Tonks and Ron both landed a broom that had materialized out of nowhere.

I smiled, Ron was alright as was Tonks, I could only think of one person who would be happier to know that, and she was inside. "I'm going to tell mum and dad you're ok Ron."

Mum was just as happy as I thought she'd be, and they both followed me back outside to greet him. While everyone was trying to explain to Ron of what happened to George before he walked in and fainted at the sight, the arrival of Bill and Fleur came with the news.

Mad-Eye was dead.

I almost thought it impossible; he was so tough, so strong.

But Cedric was smart.

Sirius was brave.

And Dumbledore…was the greatest wizard of our time.

There were no exceptions in war.

I had my first sip of firewhiskey that night as we toasted to old Mad-Eye. I felt terrible with myself that the last time I ever spoke to him had been heated words where I was questioning his skills and strategies. And it turned out he was right, the worst had happened I would have been a liability. But I'd never have admitted it aloud.

The next issue was the one everyone had hoped wouldn't come about but naturally it wasn't something that could be ignored. And of course Phlegm would be the one to bring it up and not in the nicest way either. How did they find out Harry was being moved that night?

Harry spoke up when Fleur was looking accusingly at Hagrid. "If someone made a mistake and let something slip, I know they didn't do it on purpose. I trust everyone standing in this room; none of you would sell me out to Voldemort for anything."

He had really had always been so trusting, Harry was more like Dumbledore than anyone ever gave him credit for.

I sipped my drink a bit more, enjoying the buzzing feeling I was getting in my ears hoping that if I drank enough of the stuff then nightmares may just stay away, maybe this would work better than a dreamless sleep potion. Hopefully it would work, if not, I might as well not even try going to sleep. All I would see was Tom throwing Mad-Eye through that damned veil right after Sirius and Dumbledore…or something symbolic like that.

"I'm not going to stay here." Harry's voice snapped me out of it, "it's dangerous for any of you to be near me I won't risk any of you like that."

His nobility was interrupted by several protests.

"It's not me I'm worried for!" Of course it wasn't I never was, sometimes he was just so selfless it made me sick. On that note I retreated up stairs warily, hoping to actually _not _get sick (being the youngest and smallest had its perks sometimes you just slip by without being noticed and get to do things like pour yourself another glass of the forbidden firewhiskey) and not necessarily wanting to hear the rest of the conversation. I had it once with Harry and I had no intention of listening to it again.

Thankfully the moment I hit my bed, I didn't move again until the next morning.

Mum threw herself back into the preparations for the wedding, but everyone else was just as somber as could be. The death of another ally was taking its toll.

"She got to me. Harry hasn't even been here for twenty-four hours and she has already cornered me about him!" Ron grumbled making his way into my room the next day.

"What are you going on about? And where are Harry and Hermione?"

"Hermione's showering and Harry's taking a kip."

"At noon, in the middle of summer?"

"He said he had a headache-"

"Headache?"

"Ginny! Would you stop with the interrogation, he had a headache it's not the end of the damned world."

"Yeah well do you know why he had a headache? It could be his scar hurting him."

Ron stared at me for a while; I was lounging on my bed with the latest Quidditch Weekly pretending to read it, honestly my head was pounding so badly it wasn't even worth a try.

"Well you don't look any better than he does, maybe you both just don't react well to firewhiskey."

I dropped the magazine to the ground and my head into my pillow face first, "What do you want Ron?"

"To thank you for the heads up, it gave me a chance to get my story straight and I knew what I was going to say to mum."

"So you mean mum has already tried to get information out of you, like what you three are up to that you can't tell anyone else?" I asked dryly.

Rolling his eyes he started walking out, "It's not going to work Ginny. By the way I'd take a kip too if I were you, if mum sees you like this she'll have your head."

Groaning I pulled my covers out from beneath me.

I wasn't one for eavesdropping. Usually I let the extendable ears do the job but considering the fact that I didn't have any with me at the time I had to do what I had to do. I knew once Ron had told me she had cornered him that Harry was up next on her hit list.

"Ron and Hermione seem to think that the three of you are dropping out of Hogwarts." I heard my mum ask Harry at some point over the next week in the kitchen.

The opening of the conversation instantly caught my attention and suddenly I remembered throwing that into Ron's face, I told him the only way he wouldn't have to worry about people asking them all sort of questions was if they weren't going back to Hogwarts at all. I had even laughed at the fact.

"Oh, well, yeah. We are," was his reply. They weren't going back? Sliding my back against the wall I managed to sit on the steps. They weren't going back? Harry, Ron and Hermione…not at Hogwarts?

"May I ask w_hy_ you are abandoning your education?"

"Well Dumbledore left me…stuff to do."

Stuff? Without even my consent the first thing I thought of was the words horcrux and prophecy.

"Well really Harry I believe Arthur and I should know!"

"Dumbledore told me not to tell anyone else," Harry responded guiltily. He would have told me, had Dumbledore not died, had he had the chance to ask him if he could. I knew Dumbledore would agree with me that I had a right to know, I was Harry's bloody girlfriend! Not to mention I've been alongside Harry the whole time in this fight with Voldemort, my ankle was sacrificial proof! And now I was just left out cold like my mother. It was just so unfair! My nails dug painfully into the palms of my hands.

"You're barely of age any of you! I don't understand why it has to be you when anyone in the Order could simply-"

"No, it's got to be me Mrs. Weasley."

Of course it did. Harry was the Chosen One. I wasn't paying attention to the rest of the conversation and so I was startled when Harry found me on the steps.

"Ginny?"

My face heated up. "I was just-er-well…"

So much was said between us in that cramped staircase, and yet maybe nothing at all, it could have been all in my head but Harry was about to say, "Gin-"

"Ginevra! Come here please."

Clearing his throat Harry merely nodded and continued up the stairs. I took a moment to collect myself.

"Yes mum?"

"Eavesdropping isn't flattering you understand me? I've taught you better than that."

"Yes mum."

"Here," she said handing me a sponge, "Those dishes won't clean themselves." With a bit of magic they could I thought, but didn't dare say aloud. Undoing her apron my mother began to walk away when she turned abruptly and laid a hand on my shoulder. I wasn't sure what she was going to say, something probably along the lines of how everything was going to be ok, Harry would come to his senses, and if he didn't I was better off without him or some rubbish like that. But she just squeezed my shoulder and proceeded to leave only throwing, "Would you and Hermione please change the sheets for Mr. and Mrs. Delacour in Percy's old room," over her shoulder

"Sure mum, whatever you want."

"You're my best friend right Hermione?"

"Of course Ginny," she replied stuffing the sheets under her side of the mattress.

"We can tell each other anything can't we?"

"Your side looks a mess are you even paying attention?"

"Are you?" At that she stopped what she was doing to meet my eyes.

"Of course we can tell each other anything, why?"

Ignoring her protests I sat with a thump on the half-made bed. "Because lately I just feel that there's so much you're keeping from me. And I don't know why." Playing dumb I thought was a good tactic.

"I don't know-"

"You know about the Prophecy Hermione, and you're going off with Harry and my brother to Merlin knows where doing Merlin knows what!" So it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be to play dumb.

Hermione was shocked beyond words, "How did you-"

"Why does it matter how I found out? The point is I'm being left out again, and it hurts more than any other time before."

The silence was thick enough to cut with a knife as we both waited for the other one to give. When she just stared blankly I gave in smoothing out the sheets and finishing up without another word and without another glance.

"Ginny I'm…I can't-"

"Forget it, I knew you weren't going to say anything, why should you? Ron wouldn't and Harry can barely look at me let's just keep it a clean break yeah?"

She swallowed and I could see the tears welling up in her eye lids, but I couldn't make myself feel guilty.

"Thanks for helping; I expect mum will be keeping us all busy."

And with that I left the room.

Keeping us busy is exactly what she did, I was pretty obvious what her plan was, mum was no bimbo. With all the chores she was throwing around it was virtually impossible for Ron Harry and Hermione to be in the same room together- alone- for longer than two minutes. It seemed she didn't want them to have any chances at planning this "crusade".

"Ginny be a dear and help Harry set the table would you?"

By this point there was not even a reason to say anything you just did what you were instructed. She left us alone ironically, and purposely. The last time Harry and I had ever been alone together it was during a rather intense snogging session. That is just to say the awkwardness was there.

"I think mum thinks that is she can stop the three of you getting together and planning, she'll be able to delay you leaving."

"And then what does she think's going to happen? Someone else is going to kill of Voldemort while she's holding us here making vol-au-vents?"

I figured that was what this was about, from what I had put together Harry was indeed the Chosen One and that these Horcruxes had something to do with Voldemort ever since the funeral. I just didn't know what that had to do with a Horcrux, or what that was, why it had to be them and how they were going to do it. I doubted I was going to get anymore out of him however.

"So it's true then? That's what you're trying to do?"

"I-not-I was joking," he replied nervously. I hated to admit it to myself but he looked just so cute when flustered. I found it amusing that I got more out of Harry than I did from Ron or Hermione, how had that happened? I was grateful either way, even if he did regret telling me.

I didn't give too much thought to why he told me, after all even though he hadn't admitted it to me then, I told him I knew he wouldn't be happy unless he was hunting Voldemort, I knew he was the one who had to finish it, and he knew I knew that even though he had just tried to pass it off as a joke. But still I liked to think he told me because I still had s_ome _kind of influence over him. That night at dinner when we were smashed together at the table it was rather obvious by the way Harry was trying so desperately not to make any contact with me, though it was inevitable considering the lack of space there was. I made him nervous, and that was better than nothing right? I would have grinned had the conversation of the table not been so dreadful, Mad-Eye's body had still not been found.

"Hi guys," I heard Hermione's voice come from Ron's room. She was with Harry and Ron? And they weren't busy with some chore, and I happened to be able to hear the conversation? It was almost too good to be true. A quick thought of going into the espionage Auror business came to me. "Ron's mum didn't realize she asked me and Ginny to change the sheets already."

Ah, so that meant I was free too.

I settled myself in the hallway inconspicuously that way if anyone did find me that time it would look innocent. They talked a bit about Mad-Eye, and other things, I was just about to give up and walk away when Hermione caught my attention, "I'm just trying to decide what books I want to take when we go searching for all the horcruxes."

I held my breath, so they were going after Voldemort by going after the horcruxes?

"That makes sense, since will obviously be hunting down old Voldy in the library!" Ron's sarcasm was ignored.

I was hoping that they'd explain everything as though they had no clue as to what they were doing, but I knew that was only hopeful thinking.

"Listen," said Harry, "I know after Dumbledore died you both said you would come with me but I don't think that's such a good idea."

I could almost picture the other two rolling their eyes, "Harry. You listen we are coming with you, it's our decision."

Them three going off hunting Voldemort, I had known it from the start.

But it couldn't have been mine. I was so upset I ran; my heart breaking all over again. Harry said nothing else to argue with them, but me? He would never hear another word. Slamming my door I didn't understand what made me so different, he had told me I meant so much to him, if I did wouldn't he want me there with him the whole time? What changed? Why? Was it all a lie, everything we shared?

There was only one way to find out, suddenly I couldn't wait for Harry's birthday.

"Oh do you not look so darling!" Fleur's English was improving that was for sure, her eye sight however was left to be desired.

Mum was still not decided, "Are you sure that it isn't…too…low cut? Ginny is only 15 after all."

I rolled my eyes, "I'll be sixteen in two weeks mum!" That didn't mean however I completely disagreed with her, but the cut wasn't bothering me, it was everything else.

Fleur played with the bottom, fluffing it out a bit more, "Of course not, it is ze latest style in France at ze moment."

Being a bridesmaid wasn't one of my favorite hobbies but considering it was my brother's wedding how could I refuse? But the moment Fleur unzipped the garment bag and revealed the dress I wanted to run the other way.

I. Did. Not. Look. Good. In. Gold.

My red hair clashed and my freckles seemed to pop out even more. Couldn't the color have been green? Maybe the same shade of Harry's eyes? No. It had to be bloody gold. I wanted a drink, a firewhiskey could have sufficed.

Just as I was going to ask if I could get off the pedestal Fred and George skipped into the room, I nearly groaned. "George!"

"Fred!"

"Do you see that girl?"

"Which girl? The one who's positively glowing?"

"She could light up a room that one."

Mum rolled her eyes, "Boys, doesn't your sister look beautiful?"

"Well mum we can't really answer that now can we Fred?"

"Nope but it think we have a solution."

Together they both neared the door, and yelled out, "HARRY COULD YOU COME UP HERE FOR A MINUTE?"

I could've have died on the spot. "What the bloody hell are you two thinking?"

"Ginevra, language!"

"'Arry?" Fleur asked looked at me quizzically, "Oh 'ow wonderful! You two will look lovely together at ze wedding!"

My face was as red as the anger bubbling up inside me.

"Won't they though?" Fred sighed.

"It'll be so romantic!" George exclaimed.

"_Get out,"_ I said through clenched teeth

"Oh Gin-Gin, we are only trying to help!"

"You and Harry need to get your acts together!"

"Don't think we missed the little act at dinner the other night-"

"It seemed as though you were both trying your hardest not to make contact," they said, wiggling their eyebrows suggestively.

It seemed that mum had had enough, "Alright! That's enough everyone out, Ginny you can get out of that dress now. Make sure to be careful when you put it away."

"Yes mother dear," I muttered as the door closed.

But no sooner than it closed was there was another knock; flustered and already half out of the dress, I went to the door, "I said get out! That's another way of saying _go aw_-"

As you could have guessed (do to the obvious and ever-present irony in my life) it wasn't the twins, it was Harry.

Clutching the unzipped dress tighter to my body, I kept the door as closed as possible but so that I was still able to see his face. "Er-uh yes?"

He seemed unable to speak, and I realized he must have noticed my sate, it wasn't anything bad but unexpected I'm sure. I could only imagined what would have happened if we were still together. I blushed.

Clearing his throat, he looked at his shoes, "I heard my name? Someone asked me up here?"

"Right. That was Fred and George playing some joke. Don't worry about it."

"Oh ok, right then…um…I'll just go." I nodded in response and watched as he walked away, "Ginny?" I had begun to seal the door when he unexpectedly turned around once more.

"Yes?"

He stared at me with what seemed to be a look that revealed a heavy inner struggle. I really had no clue what he was thinking, but in the end it didn't matter, "Uh, never mind." And he was gone.

Closing the door finally, I sighed turning to face my mirror; really what did he ever see in me? A load of red hair, illuminating freckles, and a pale complexion?

I hated that dress.

The pile of presents on the kitchen table only made me smile the morning of July 31, 1997.

"Ginny where are you going? Aren't you going to wait for Harry to wish him a happy birthday?"

"Of course I am, I'll be back," I told her, lying. Mum only smiled and returned to her cake.

I didn't go back, not for a long while that day; I remember pacing up and down my small room with the same thoughts running through my head. I was Ginny Weasley, not scarred easily, a bold person, I had six older brothers for crying out loud I had handled things far more reckless than kissing a boy, especially a boy I had kissed before. Then why was I so bloody nervous?

I needed to know where we stood. Harry was leaving very soon and I wanted to wait for him, but what if he came back and my waiting was in vain? I needed to give him a reason to remember me, if there was any way I could change his mind about leaving me I would take it, and I just hoped all these questions would be answered with what I was going to do. Besides when I first got this idea a few days before it was just to "lift Harry's spirits" so if I didn't get any answers maybe I would still succeed in doing that.

The moment I heard the trio head back up the stair I took a breath and…stopped thinking.

"Harry will you come in here a moment?"

Hermione tugged Ron away and I thanked her in my mind. He entered my room and I vaguely thought of the fact that it was the first time he had ever been in my room, but I pushed it away and concentrated on my task, and realized I had no idea what I was doing. "Happy seventeenth."

Harry looked just as nervous as he had every time we were in the same room together. "Yeah…thanks." He wouldn't look me in the face; I hoped that was because it would weaken his resolve. "Nice view." Was he seriously going to talk about my window?

"I couldn't think what to get you," I started.

"You didn't have to get me anything-"

"I didn't know what would be useful, nothing to big because then you wouldn't be able to take it with you," I chanced a step closer, he didn't seem to object. "So then I thought. I'd like you to have, I'd like you to have something to remember me by, you know if you meet some veela when you're off doing whatever you're doing."

"I think dating opportunities are going to be pretty thin on the ground, to be honest."

And then I knew that was my cue, he obviously wasn't thinking of anyone else, it only made sense for me to wait for him. I smiled, "There's the silver lining I've been waiting for," and I went in for the kill, I kissed him. I'm not sure actually how it technically happened who moved first but we were kissing and that's all the mattered.

I missed the feeling of his hair, I almost forgot how smooth it was, and how it felt to have one of his hands in my hair and the other on my back. He was kissing back unlike any other time in the past. It felt as though the rest of the world was slipping away I felt home…and then my git of a brother barged in.

I was so mad that the moment I had worked up to was ruined, I thought maybe Harry would just slam the door closed and we'd either continue what we had started or at least talk about what had happened, but he didn't. I turned my back to them, "Well happy birthday anyway Harry."

"I'll see you later," he told me and followed my brother out. The door closed behind Hermione, and I was alone again.

Just like that, one moment I had him in my arms and the next the world took him away again. I wanted to scream! I wanted to cry, but I didn't. What was the point? It didn't matter to Harry whether I kissed him or not, sure he kissed me back but it was probably only because I caught him by surprised, I'm sure he would have pushed me away a second later anyway. I couldn't blame him; he was a seventeen year old boy after all.

I watched him get into an argument with my brother outside my window; Ron was shouting at him, I'm sure with some overprotective rubbish. And Harry seemed to be backing off. He had his arms up, and he looked sorry and regretful, if anything, that's what pushed me over the edge. I fell back onto my bed, no questions answered.

But still no regrets. That damned Potter knew how to kiss.

Later that evening at his party my mum was making her way with the cake when Harry caught my eye and smiled warmly, I grinned back and rolled my eyes, I couldn't really be mad at him could I? He had been polite and not demanded any explanation on my part and above all, Harry was my friend, I would be loyal to him not matter what happened. But since I couldn't blame him I blamed myself for my mood, it had been a stressful day especially since I could hardly look at him now without wanting another kiss.

Fred and George seemed to notice.

"Drop the cake-"

"We've got something better,"

"And by the looks of it you need it."

Sighing I placed my piece of cake back on the table; Ron picked it up just as quickly and I followed the twins back into the house.

"We nicked this from the cupboard,"

"And usually we would never let you have some but,"

"It's a party-"

"And there's a wedding tomorrow,"

"In which you are a bridesmaid." George finished. Once we were safely up in their room they handed me a bottle.

I looked at them bewildered, "Firewhiskey?"

"Well it was originally for Harry since he's now of age but it looks like you could use it more."

"Really?"

"Really," they answered together.

I smiled, "Well then, bottoms up."

I was more than thankful when the twins snuck into my room first thing in the morning with some hangover potion, it made me feel loads better. Physically and emotionally I felt like it was the perfect day for a wedding even if I still wasn't completely warmed up to the bride yet.

The twins left and I couldn't fall back to sleep, not that I would have been allowed to anyway with my mother hounding my door every five minutes screaming for me to get up. Hearing the door being opened again I threw the covers back, "Ok I'm up I'm up-" but again it wasn't who I thought it was at the door.

"Where were you last night?" whisper-yelled Hermione at me silently locking the door behind her.

I nestled back into my pillows, "What do you mean where was I? It was Harry's birthday we were all celebrating."

"No we all weren't! You left in the middle of the party with Fred and George and no one saw you for the rest of the night."

I sat bolted straight up, "People noticed?"

Hermione smirked, "No, only I did, lucky for you."

I let out a breath, "Yeah, lucky for me."

"You missed out on a lot let me tell you."

I shrugged stretching out my numb limbs, "What? Did Charlie and Ron get into a fist fight over the last slice of cake?"

"No you twit, the Minister of Magic paid us a visit in the middle of the evening."

It took a moment for that to sink in, when I did my eyes nearly jumped out at her, "The Minister? Here? Again? Why?"

Hermione flopped onto her cot in the other side of the room, "I knew that would catch your interest," she said smugly.

I rolled my eyes, "I'm dying for more Hermione please oh wise one tell me the secrets of the meeting with Rufus Scrimgeour."

"Sarcasm doesn't get you very far, Ginny."

"It gets me far enough thank you. Were you going to tell me or not?"

"He brought over the Will of Albus Dumbledore."

"The _will?_ Why would he do that? And why would he do that now? Dumbledore's been dead for more than a month." The information was interesting though, seems she was right, I did miss a lot. But I had too much of a good time with my brothers to care. Somewhere deep down though I truly was kicking myself.

"Apparently the Ministry has the power to confiscate items in a will for examination purposes."

"I'm sure that didn't go over very well."

She sighed, "No it did not."

"So what did it say? The will I mean."

"Dumbledore had left items for Harry Ron and me."

"You're joking."

"No, I'm not."

I almost wanted to laugh; I shouldn't have been so shocked Dumbledore really was pushing the whole golden trio idea. I mean he didn't even suggest to Harry that he should let his girlfriend in on the inner most important details of his life! Maybe it was just too much to ask, after all Dumbledore didn't' leave me anything.

I was being silly, but it still hurt. "So er- What did her leave you then?"

"He left me his copy of the Tales of Beedle the Bard-"

"The storybook?"

"That's the one. He also left Ron his deluminator, and Harry the snitch he caught in his first game at Hogwarts."

I nodded, "That's…nice."

She laughed, "We have no idea why he left these things to us either, but what was more interesting was he left another item to Harry."

I shrugged, "Everyone knew Dumbledore had a soft spot for Harry."

"Not the fact that he _did _but what he left him, the sword of Godric Gryffindor."

This time my jaw dropped, "You're not serious."

"No I'm Hermione."

"Ok the joke really is getting old."

"Sorry," She grimaced, "But it's true, only Harry doesn't have it now."

"Why not?"

"Well apparently it wasn't even property of Dumbledore's to give away-"

"That's rubbish! If that sword belongs to anyone it belongs to Harry! He killed the basilisk using that thing, it was bloody fantastic!" Even though I was technically unconscious at the time the sight I saw when I came to didn't leave much to the imagination, images of Harry and the sword over came me for a moment, I remembered all my little girl fantasies when I considered Harry my knight in shining –more like bloody- armor.

"That's what we said," Hermione agreed, "But then Scrimgeour began asking questions as to why Dumbledore would leave us anything at all and-"

"And Harry blew up."

"How did you know?"

How did I know? How did I know? Well maybe it was the fact that I knew Harry than anybody else! Maybe it was the fact that I was not just some stupid little naive girl who had no idea what we were up against! "Lucky guess."

"Yes, well there isn't much we can do about it so let's just get ready for today shall we?"

Not much we could do huh? If it were up to me I would have just up and taken the sword, Dumbledore wouldn't have left it for Harry without reason, he was the most brilliant wizard of our time, and there must have been an important purpose.

Little did I know I had taken those thoughts to heart.

"Yeah, sounds good."

"Oh and Ginny? I lied I wasn't the only person who noticed your absence last night, Harry did too."

Ok. So maybe the dress wasn't all that bad, after my hair was done and a few glamour charms were set in place, easing out my freckles. Standing in front of the mirror I couldn't help but wonder what Harry would think. He was obviously still attracted to me, but that wasn't something anyone should take to heart. Too bad Fleur's vision of Harry and me together at her wedding wasn't going to be possible, considering it was doubtful he would come near me and the fact that he had taken poly juice potion and had taken the form a boy down the lane who coincidently had red hair. He was to be introduced as cousin Barny.

"Ginny, are you ready?"

"Yes mum!" With one last look in the mirror I walked out of my room and down into the sitting room where the wedding party was waiting for the cue to begin down the aisle.

Fleur look dazzling, I couldn't lie; her dress was a shimmering white absolutely perfect for a mid-summer wedding. The straps where thin and the fabric clung loosely all the way down to the ground, her golden hair was piled up on the crown of her head with soft tendrils falling to her neck. It seemed however there was a problem with the tiara.

"It is just so 'eavy! I do not want to be 'ude but-"

"Don't worry dear, I know what'll do the trick," my mother said with a wave of her wand. "How is that?"

"Oh zank you Molly! I do not know what I was tinking agreeing to zat Muriel."

I laughed, "Trust me everyone can sympathize."

The ceremony started shortly after that, and as I made it down I aisle I kept my eyes focused on my brother, who happened to look like the cat that ate the canary. But of course I couldn't hold out that long and glanced over at the red head seated next to Hermione. The only red head who was not my relative, _he _looked as though he was about ready to eat the canary. I smiled smugly at my own joke. That was when I really started to like the dress.

My brother's wedding was like a dream, for the most part, the time we actually had went by with ease and romance.

About halfway through the ceremony however I couldn't help but feeling the burning sensation at the back of my head of a particular person watching me. If Harry really did regret breaking up with me, or if he just regretted kissing me he was still a randy teenage boy and so when I turned around and sent him a saucy wink, not only was it fun but I felt he deserved it.

A while later everyone was on the dance floor, the twins were flirting shamelessly with some of Fleur's cousins, Charlie over by the bar discussing dragons with Hagrid, mum serving food and greeting each guest personally, and Harry, sitting down with a glass of butterbeer. He couldn't have been any more predictable if he tried.

"Hey Ginny!" An old familiar voice called out from behind me.

"LEE!" I laughed pulling him into a hug. I had a lot of memories with Lee Jordan, him being the twin's right hand man they were rarely ever separated while at school. He was actually the one who taught me how to thwart Fred and George.

He smiled and spun me around, "Ginny I have to say you are gorgeous, of course you always were, your brothers must still be giving you a hard time with the over protective rubbish aren't they?"

"Naturally! And thanks for the compliment you always were the charmer."

"So Weasley got yourself a boyfriend?"

I blushed, but replied with the first thing that came to my mind, "Yes actually, but he's really the jealous type so you'd better be careful." I said it with humor as to not hurt his feelings.

"Oh you're breaking my heart Ginny! Is he here now though?"

"Er-no-but-"

"Then dance with me there's no harm in that now is there?"

I shook my head laughing, "No I guess not."

I danced with practically everyone, got a load of cheek pinches, pats on the head and a thousand comments on how beautiful and grown up I was. It was fun, the only thing that would have made it better would have been if Harry had asked me to dance, but as it was he wasn't dancing with anyone.

"Is the bridesmaid too busy to dance with the groom? Or can she spare one song?"

I looked up into Bill's scarred face; he was still so handsome you would barely believe he had ever faced Greyback. "I can spare as many as you want, it's your day."

Bill and I danced for a bit, until he noticed my preoccupation with watching Harry. "So Fred and George have been going on and on recently about you and Harry."

"Oh really? And what have they said exactly?" I asked keeping my voice under control.

Bill shrugged, "Only that you two have been acting odd around each other this summer. They reckon it's because you fancy each other. Rather than fighting like cats and dogs like Ron and Hermione."

"Yes well those two are the ones who need to get their acts together, there's nothing between Harry and I. We're just friends."

"It's funny; those are the same exact words Ron uses every time it comes up."

"Because it's true."

"I don't know Ginny," he smirked twirling me around, "You both sound too well rehearsed."

"Rehearsed?" my voice cracked.

"I'm a curse breaker Ginny, noticing and studying things is what I do."

"You're wrong."

"You'd tell me if I were right wouldn't you?"

I hated lying to Bill, anyone else I don't even blink, but I've always been so close to Bill, it hurt to lie so straight forward. "Of course I would."

I found Luna eventually and we had a few laughs observing the crowd and I realized just how much I missed my friend, she was so…refreshing.

"So he hasn't asked you to dance yet?"

"Who?"

"Harry of course."

I almost choked on my butterbeer, "Harry isn't even here."

"Oh that's right; he changed his name to Barny." She nodded in understanding.

I just stared at her, "How did you know?"

"If you didn't already know wouldn't you have been able to tell?"

As always Luna made me think, "I guess so."

"So why haven't you danced with him?"

"He hasn't asked."

Luna swayed to the music and her bright yellow robes followed her, "Then why don't you ask him?"

It was the best suggestion I had heard all day. "You know what? I think I will."

"Alright then," she called after me, "Just don't let him convince you to change your name too, Ginevra is uniquely you!"

I was making my way through the dance floor when it happened. Not more than four feet away from me did a silver patronus appear in the form of a lynx. It was Kingsley's.

"The ministry has fallen. Scrimgeour is dead. They are coming."

All hell broke loose people were running and Disapparating screams were heard all over the yard. I broke out into a run knowing I had to find Harry but not knowing why. This dreaded feeling came over me when he wasn't seated where I had seen him not two seconds before.

"Bill!"

"Arthur!"

Everything was a blur as I pushed person after person out of my way. And soon there were other people in the yard, people in masks and cloaks. But I didn't let myself panic like all the others, I had to find Harry, I had to find Harry.

And finally I spotted him. Across the dance floor beneath the tent that was coming down.

There were sparks of light and magic been thrown about, people running and screaming for others all around tables being overturned but still in the moment everything around me slowed down. And I knew that was it, I wasn't going to make it to the other side to meet him. Harry was standing with Hermione and she called for Ron, when my brother appeared I knew there were only seconds left.

Harry saw me with only milliseconds to spare. I wanted to say goodbye, to wave or something, but I couldn't. I couldn't move I couldn't feel, or hear or see anything else. Harry saw me then grabbed Hermione's hand. Harry looked at me painfully with regret, and then…

He was gone.

And I didn't even get to say goodbye.

All that hoping that he'd change his mind was for nothing. All the wasted time trying to get information out of them went in vain; I was left with nothing but bits and pieces I would have to put together.

I knew I couldn't stand there starring at an empty spot forever there was dangerous chaos ensuing around me but I couldn't find it in me to care, or at least move. They were gone and I was left behind. I had no idea when or if I would ever see them again and we didn't even get to say goodbye.

"GINNY!"

"What is she doing?"

"GET HER OUT OF HERE NOW!"

I felt arms grab at me and my feet began to move with the rest of me though I didn't know where I was going. They weren't coming back. They were going to go kill off the most dangerous wizard of all time…without me.

If one thing was for sure Fred, George and I were going to meet again that night.

For there was so much to toast to.

**Chapters**

Bedtime Stories

Pickled Toad

Breakfast Woes

Chamber Scars

The Potter Pattern

The Broken Hearted Resolve

A Marauder's Promise

The Horse and the Stag

Princess Cries A Lot and the Pink Frog

The Chocolaty Defeat of Cho Chang

A Silver Statement

Definitions of Phlegm and Feelings

All's Fair in Love and Quidditch

Someone Else's Life

The Stupid Noble Reason

The Secrets of Potato Peeling

Gold; The Color of Firewhiskey

The Perks of Playing Nice

Not Nearly Rock Bottom

The Breaking Point

Grasping Smoke and Chasing a Myth

A Bloody Midnight Game

A Brave New World

Finding Forever

The Last Entry


	19. Perks of Playing Nice

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

**Entry 18: The Perks of Playing Nice**

_"When you ask me, who I am:_  
><em>What is my vision? And do I have a plan?<em>  
><em>Where is my strength? Have I nothing to say?<em>  
><em>I hear the words in my head, but I push them away.<em>  
><em>'Cause I stand for the power to change,<em>  
><em>I live for the perfect day.<em>  
><em>I love till it hurts like crazy,<em>  
><em>I hope for a hero to save me.<em>

_And I don't know_  
><em>What tomorrow brings<em>  
><em>The road less traveled <em>  
><em>Will it set us free?<em>  
><em>Cause we are taking it slow,<em>  
><em>These tiny legacies..."<em>

-I Stand, Idina Menzel

I might have figured it out. It took all of August- right past my solemn birthday- and my theory hadn't been completely settled until I took my seat on the Hogwarts express, but I believe I had figured it out.

There were just two possibilities.

One: Harry indeed loved me as my mother said and left trying to protect me so that he could come back to me. He didn't speak to me after his birthday kiss because he was afraid he's lose all his resolve, end up taking me with him and trusting me with all his secrets, instead of keeping me safely in the dark.

Two: Harry only felt guilty after we broke up and barely spoke to me because he didn't want me anymore. He was afraid to tell me anything in case I would find a way to sneak off with them, and that was the last thing he wanted. Not because he wanted to protect me but because he didn't want me with him in general.

Both realities were plausible; the first because I did still feel that connection between us, even if Harry _was_ a teenage boy no one kisses someone like that unless they meant it. He explained to me, when he ended it, that protecting me truly was the reason, and he just felt as though he would be insulting Dumbledore's memory if he were to defy his wishes by telling me.

But then again, if he really _did_ mean that kiss and his feelings for me, he wouldn't have run after Ron and backed off- I'm sure that was what happened out in the orchard after we kissed. _And_ Harry wasn't naïve; he knew Dumbledore could trust me, he knew that Dumbledore would have wanted me with him, helping him. After all the times he told Harry that love was the key, Harry still refused to tell me anything. All I ever learned was what I heard by eavesdropping. Harry obviously didn't want me by his side.

It was a stalemate in my mind and with Harry gone- making anymore observations impossible- I was just going to have to wait it out and see when he returned.

"I'm not so sure about this Arthur."

"Molly, our best bet is to keep a normal front; Ron is supposedly stuck at home ill, so Ginny must continue her education not only for her own good but in case they suspect the Weasley's have dropped out of sight they will start snooping. We have too much riding on us as is."

"You sound as though we are using her as a tool!"

I rolled my eyes from my backseat in the ministry car, "Mum dad is completely right. And besides, it's Hogwarts. I know that's not as reassuring anymore but at least there will be McGonagall, and Hagrid."

"You see dear? Listen to your daughter she'll be surrounded by Order members."

"Yes well we all thought the school was safe when Albus Dumbledore was there, look how that turned out," my mother mumbled under her breath.

"It turned out fine! I'm ok, none of us got hurt- well other than Dumbledore I suppose- but that's not the point. I'm going to school mom and at this point there's no stopping it."

"Do not be coy with me Ginevra; you know very well all I have to do is say the word and this car will turn straight around."

"Yes but mum you're not a fool."

"I said no more lip!"

"Technically you said don't be coy-"

"That is enough!" My father broke into our rapidly increasing debacle, "Molly, you needn't be so worried and flustered, and Ginny stop disrespecting your mother."

I honestly had no idea how I was disrespecting her, I thought I was merely _trying_ her, but I let it go. However there were things that _she_ just couldn't leave alone.

"Well, if you ask me I don't think the three of them thought this through very well. Who would ever in their right mind believe that the ghoul is actually Ron?"

"But see mum, no one _did_ ask you."

"And what about whan Harry _doesn't_ return to school? Don't you think that will raise a thousand more questions rather than _Ginny_ not going back? After all he is the Chosen One and everyone has rumored he was with Dumbledore the night he was murdered."

My jaw dropped, "But he _was_ mum!"

"Oh honestly, don't you think I know that? I'm simply saying that it doesn't sound good all put together, when Snape has yet to be convicted for murder and especially when Harry will be found missing in a few days time." She sighed, "What _were_ they thinking?"

They were thinking they'd all be bloody noble and kill off Voldemort while the rest of the world ponders their fate.

"Ginny are you sure they said nothing-"

"Molly-"

"Mum we've been over this only a dozen times, if I did know anything, if they had told me anything at all, I wouldn't tell you. It must stay between us. I'm sorry."

The first few times I had to say that to her I felt remarkably guilty- I felt so terrible I wanted to collapse bawling into her arms and just tell her everything I knew. Then she would have marched up to them, tied them down, and never let them out of our sight. No matter how much I wished that could be the case, I repeatedly put on a face of stone and denied I knew, and refused to say anything. After about the twenty-third time I did that, I became rather accustomed to it and it was as easy as breathing.

"Well then, it seems as though we've arrived," Dad's voice came from the front. Looking out my window, I watched several hundred muggles going about their day at the train station. Sometimes I imagined how it would feel like to walk around in those awful muggle _suits_ –is that what they are called?- holding one of those _briefcases_- bag- and not have to watch your every step.

Total oblivion that didn't come from a cursed _obliviate._

After a teary goodbye with my parents, I took my window seat in an empty compartment and used that time to sort through everything. My mother was just being a worry-wart; their plan-if not reckless- was solid, more than likely Hermione's doing. Having our attic ghoul dressed as Ron in Ron's room was definitely creative. That ghoul was just a free loader who never left no matter what we did, he might as well be put to use.

We let a story leak that Ron had succumbed to a severe case of Spattergroit and if anyone came to check up on him he would look like an over grown hideous beast- apparently the symptoms were in line with that. That way my family couldn't be tortured for information when people assumed my brother was with Harry, because Ron wasn't with him; he was home with Spattergroit.

Hermione tampered with the memories of her parents. She told me that much, in the cover of dark late at night when secrets, thoughts, fears and dreams were passed between best friends sharing a room. The whispers we couldn't take back, not even if we wanted to. Hermione and I couldn't hide from each other, that's why I was so hurt the day we were changing the sheets and shocked that she actually held out.

Her parents had different names, different occupations, a different home in a different country, and had no memory of ever having a daughter. She did it to keep them safe. We both knew it was the hardest thing she had ever had to do… but it was necessary.

Anyway, as I before mentioned it hadn't been until my journey on the train that I came to such a substantial realization. It hit hard to say the least, and so that was how Neville found me, alone, contemplating and moist-eyed.

"I…er…sorry, I'll find another compartment-"

"Neville don't be silly," I rushed, clearing away any evidence of weakness, though it was obviously pointless. "Come in."

Quietly he opened the compartment door again and took an uncertain step inside. "Are you sure? I don't want to be a bother-"

I smiled, Neville really resembled what Hogwarts was all about, friends, familiarity and loyalty, he'd always been there timid and all. "You're not."

I watched him haul his trunk onto the rack above our heads and take a seat across from me, all the while wary to meet my eyes. "So how was your summer?" I asked in a ruthless attempt to get past the stickiness of the situation.

"Pretty terrible, but I think that was the standard of summers around here."

"I know what you mean."

"But one of your brothers got married didn't he? Luna told me about the wedding."

My smile was hardly convincing, "Yea, it was nice until the death eaters interrupted."

"Heard about that too, at least no one was harmed right?"

"Yeah…the little things…" I observed the boy in front of me and I had to admit I was pleasantly surprised, he had grown a lot that summer, and not just in height his face narrowed out and his nose didn't seem so out of place anymore. He'd always been tall and lanky but like Harry and Ron, he seemed to have filled out. He looked…good. "So you've spoken to Luna?"

"Yeah, just now on the platform. I invited her to join us; I thought that would be ok, but maybe I shouldn't have-"

"Neville."

"Sorry. It's only; you don't seem to be in the mood for company. Are you alright Ginny? If you don't mind my asking, I'll understand if you don't want to talk about it." The honest truth was that I didn't want to talk about it, but I _did_ want some company to keep me from brooding all by myself. That didn't mean, however, that I didn't take my time to answer, he probably thought I wasn't going to but eventually I gained the courage and looked out the window.

"It's somewhat surreal don't you think? Sitting here on our way back after all that's happened…as though nothing did, and without Harry Ron or Hermione and a huge chunk of the student body? Are they right? Are we the fools sitting here just to take on another year of education while the world outside is fighting a war?"

"I think that we _are_ going back for something larger than education… am I right? I'm not sure about me but it makes you brave and not foolish, we need to keep showing that no matter what they do, how many times they thwart us we will always bounce back. We are not that easy."

"Who are you and what have you done with Neville Longbottom?"

He blushed, "So…er…do you by any chance know why they didn't come back do you?"

"Not exactly, anything I do know it's because I overheard it not because they told me…or wanted me to know at all."

"I'm sorry, I didn't- I thought that you of all- well, never mind."

Luckily Luna broke the awkward silence that threatened to fall. "Is everything alright?" she asked taking a seat beside me.

"Of course, why wouldn't it be?"

"You mean aside from the obvious? It's only the auras in here, they happen to be a deep blue."

"Deep blue?"

"Yea, deep blue represents solemn, somber feelings and conversations, very grave topics."

"Oh well, I guess so," Neville shrugged, "We were only just talking about Harry, Ron and Hermione not coming this year."

Luna's eyes twinkled in what could have been interest or sadness. "Well of course Ginny would know all about that."

"Well…she…doesn't actually," he replied uncomfortably.

"Really? But-"

"Harry broke up with me."

The compartment fell quiet and two pairs of eyes, one blue and the other brown, ogled me. "At Dumbledore's funeral." I concluded.

"But…why?"

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"Sure."

Luna had yet to respond but the way she was staring at me had me suspecting that she saw right through me, and was currently reading my thoughts. I shifted.

"So that's why he hadn't asked you to dance?"

"Yes, I guess."

Neville patted my hand, "Don't worry; we won't tell anyone, it's no one's business but yours."

"No-actually, it might be better if that spread around quickly."

"That you're single? Have you already been scouting out for a new boyfriend Ginny?"

"NO!"

Neville was blushing again.

"Oh good, I knew you were still in love with him."

"She means Harry right?" He asked clearly lost.

I eyed the locked door and sighed, "Yes I still have feelings for him but that doesn't leave this compartment, understood?"

"Yes."

"But then why don't you know why neither of them returned?" Luna questioned.

"We broke up Luna, we've just covered this."

"But what does that matter?"

"It matters a great deal!"

Not if you still have feelings for him, and especially not if he still has feelings for you."

"Luna where did you get an idea like that?"

"You just said-"

"I meant about Harry feeling the same for me!" Luna was usually so insightful, so intuitive, I was surprised she didn't understand.

"Isn't it obvious?" she asked Neville, who only shrugged. "He obviously didn't want to break up with you-"

"I said I didn't want to talk about it,"

"He still has a great deal of feelings for you, didn't you notice the way he was watching you at the wedding? So it makes sense that he only ended it because of something mildly important, like say, safety."

"Mildly important?" Neville squeaked.

"Of course, how could anyone forget that happiness is the most important thing, as is love."

And there it was, her insight. It was incredible how she put together what took me a whole summer to put together (and I still wasn't sure) in a matter of two minutes. Maybe she was right, but option two was still probable.

"Alright! Enough. Everyone is to think we broke up for the regular reason other couples would, if only just to ease Harry's mind. He is worried people will find out it was just to keep me safe." Which though Luna might have been sure about I _still_ thought it could be just an excuse.

"This whole thing is just a nightmare if you ask me." Neville sighed dropping his head into his hands.

"And it's about to get worse. I may not know a lot about what the three of them are doing but I know enough. Harry let it slip that what they are doing is about ending Voldemort. They are playing their part in the war now."

Neville gulped, "By themselves?"

"Looks like it."

"Wow," he let out a huge breath and sank back into the cushion of the seat.

I leaned forward, "This has to stay between us. Promise me, if anyone where to find out…it could be fatal, for everyone."

"Especially considering the new headmaster."

"Daddy believes that Voldemort is using the imperious curse on the new minister and that's why they let Snape take Dumbledore's spot."

Pius Thicknesse was appointed Minister of Magic right after the murder of Scrimgeour, and it hasn't been very subtle the changes in the Ministry. The number one example, as Luna mentioned, making Snape king of the castle.

"Or poly-juiced, or threatened, or maybe Thicknesse has been a death eater all along." I suggested.

"Either way," Neville said with authority in his voice, "this is not going to be a usual year; we need to watch each other's backs. We need to help Harry."

I looked at him quizzically, "What are you saying?"

"If Harry, Ron and Hermione are fighting this thing out there then we have to help by protecting the school and the students, there's plenty to be done here."

"You don't mean-"

"Yeah Luna, war within the walls."

I smiled, "Neville I love you."

"Don't let Harry hear you say that,"

"And I have a few ideas on what we can do, well if you're interested." There was a confidence in him that I had never seen before, it was surprising.

"Of course I'm bloody interested."

"Luna?"

"If it means opening the D.A. again I would love to help."

That's exactly what it means."

"Oh good, it'll be like having friends again."

Neville and I just smiled; it would be like having friends indeed.

From the outside Hogwarts looked the same. There was no evidence of the battle that took place right on the grounds only two short months before. But the students who were what made the castle buzz with life dulled that year. Many were missing, close to a whole third of the student body, Cho Chang, Padma and Partavi Patil, Susan Bones, Justin Finch-Fletchley and…

Dean Thomas

Draco Malfoy and

The Golden Trio

It was odd, they were only a few among many that failed to show their face but they were ones I noticed personally. Walking into the great hall I held my breath

never before had I experienced Hogwarts so taciturn, no one spoke, there were no greetings only glimpses and glances. Colin sat with his brother and they raised their eyebrows as I passed, I replied with a nod in recognition.

"Oi Weasley!" The screech cracked and ricocheted through the eerie silence every head turned.

"Just keep walking," Neville whispered beside me.

"You ignoring me, are you? Won't be as easy now without your little army of redheaded protectors!"

I bit my lip, the urge to snap back was over powering my reticence. We had almost made it to an empty spot next to Seamus.

"And where's the boyfriend Weasley? Home sick with Spattergoit? Or maybe he's home tending to a missing ear."

In a flash that not even I understood I had turned around and held my wand to Blaise Zambini's face. "Shut. Up."

"Or what?" his dark eyes gleamed with mirth, as he fell into a comfortable stance.

"Or I'll hex your brains out," I growled.

"Oh I'm so scared!"

"You will be when you see it coming out of your arse."

That finally threw him off, he swallowed and took a step closer, dropping his voice so that only I and the few around could hear, "I'd watch your back if I were you, there are people here that wouldn't be afraid to put you in your place."

"Is that supposed to be a threat?"

Losing all sense of whisper he laughed once, "No, it is more like a question, how would you like to get personal approval from Potter's parents?"

People gasped, I shook, and Neville went for Blaise before anyone could blink. But that didn't mean he got to him. A milli-second before Neville's fist collided with the slytherin's face, a voice broke out from the head of the room.

"Enough."

All was still in those first few moments before reality hit, and then suddenly students, all houses alike became troops, toys in a games controlled by one voice. As a whole in one rumble and gush of wind, the school sat, except of course fro Neville, Blaise, his cronies and I. It seemed neither of us found Snape daunting enough to stop the discord (of sorts, to put it mildly) we found ourselves in.

"Zambini, Longbottom, Weasley do you wish to start term with a weeks worth detention?"

I didn't lower my wand, nor did Neville turn away. "No professor."

"Then. Sit. Down."

There was nothing to do but oblige, personally I hadn't intended to make a spectacle of myself- at least not yet.

"What a fine example for all the new students," he sneered, and for the first time I looked up to the head of the room. Seeing that man, excuse me, murderer up there on that pedestal made me sick.

I can still remember what it was like at that time to name him as headmaster, the sting of betrayal from that man we had-not by choice- trusted, someone how had supposedly worked on our side. Having to accept him as our head was an act of depravity, I loathed him more than I could describe.

Now of course I regret everything I felt about him, however at that moment so long ago I was completely justified in feeling that.

Neville pulled me to my seat before I could vomit.

Snape appeared so comfortable up there with his angularly pale fingers strumming against Dumbledore's stand. I kept forgetting that he was actually dead, yet I couldn't forget that Snape was the one who killed him.

"One would think that the older, more experienced school veterans would know better," he continued, "but of course there are those who are incapable of learning from…experience," he said looking straight at me.

"Ginny ouch!" whispered Neville in pain, I had a grip on him from when I sat down and for some reason I had my nails digging into his flesh.

Bloody bastard, I'm still not sure if anyone noticed his less than subtle message but I certainly did.

"150 points from Gryffindor for that display, on the account of Mrs. Weasley and Mr. Longbottom." No one protested, no one made a sound. Had it been a normal day I'd be rewarded with death glares from a fourth of the school but today everyone knew they'd have done the exact same thing. "And I suppose 20 points from Slytherin should cover it for…exacerbation purposes. Well isn't that just wonderful, starting the term in debt with points."

Rolling my eyes I search for more familiar faces, meaning comforting faces. The rest of the staff was seated in their respective seats not out of the usual. However there was nothing _usual_ about them. Hagrid of course was the first one I spotted, his fists were so tight I suspected there to be blood. Flitwick's eyes were darting back and forth between students, but Trelawney was the worst. The bags under her eyes were glowing and she was inconspicuously rubbing her temples, she must not have been sensing good auras.

McGonagall was most likely with the first years, gearing them up. As though of cue the doors opened and the fewest number of first years I had ever witnessed, and also the most anxious.

The sorting went on as routinely as always, the child sat their new house was called the only difference was that the cheers had been reduced to demure applause.

"Well now, I suppose I should welcome you al to another year, but you all already seem so…comfortable. This year we have new administrators in the school, and you are expected to have the upmost respect, I will not allocate anything less." He said that with another glare in my direction. Why didn't he just outright say I was a disrespectful, guile, scum of the earth? I would have returned the feelings and it would have ended so much sooner. "Amycus and Alecto Carrow."

No one really had anything to react to, the school was indifferent, and they had no idea who the two wizards coming to stand beside Snape were. But Neville grew pale, and I thought I was going to be sick. And I couldn't be sure but I believe Luna was muttering to herself over at the Ravenclaw table.

It was one thing to tolerate being in the same room as Snape, (yes at the time he was a murderer who had yet to be convicted however at least he had never attempted to lay a hand on me) but it was a total different situation to be in the same room with Amycus Carrow, a man whom in fact broke my ankle two years ago and had tried and failed to kill me just three short months before. _He_ was ruthless.

And his sister no doubt was just as despicable.

"They will be teaching classes, but most importantly they are the head of discipline." Neville's hand squeezed mine.

How could they have possibly gotten away with that? It still baffles me to think of how deep Voldemort's claws got into every aspect of the world, and how there was nothing I could do or say about it.

Seamus Finnigan threw me a funny look and tried to smile back; there was no point in alarming anyone prematurely.

"Now, everyone will have dinner and proceed to his or her respective dormitories immediately. No dawdling." Snape finished his speech without so much of a dismissal and stalked out of the hall trailed by the death eaters. HE couldn't even eat with us.

"Well that was…"

"An interesting start," Neville said.

"Do the two of you have mutiny plans yet?" Seamus asked. Colin, his brother and several others were waiting officiously for the response.

"We have an idea, but we'll just have to wait for the right time."

Seamus snorted, "Right time? More like the worst time possible."

I was late. So late I dreaded to meet my destination. Maybe I should have skipped the class altogether, but it was just such a gamble. I fully expected McGonagall to blow a gasket, "Miss. Weasley! This is only the first class of the year, your sixth year! There is no excuse, is this an example of what is to come?" I'd get detention for sure.

I pushed my frowzy hair out of the way, waking up late on the first day of class really was a hassle; I hustled my way over to the Transfiguration room. My world was startled to say the least when I tip-toed into the lesson. McGonagall, did stop mid sentence but only to turn to me and say, "Take a seat Miss. Weasley," and continue.

No reprimands. No strident criticisms. Nothing. I didn't hear a word she said throughout the entire lesson. I was analyzing her reaction when the door opened once again and Amycus stepped into my first lesson of the year.

No one made any kind of sign that they even noticed his appearance. McGonagall keep talking, so I mimed taking notes and kept Carrow in the outskirts of my eyesight.

"This year we will be preparing for your N.E., covering subjects that will appear on the test."

He was eyeing each and every student, and McGonagall turned to the board. I wished I could tap into her mind, I wonder what she thought of all this, never in my years at that school had any teacher been observed during her lesson- no wait- Someone had, Delores Umbridge. Carrow began to pace the rows.

"The basic ideal of transfiguring a complete animal for a new one is among one of the requirements to pass-"

Colin beside me continued to bounce his leg like a maniac as Amycus grew closer. I couldn't be certain if the death eater had realized I was there yet though it was bound to happen. My eyes remained on the board when he finally reached my desk; he paused, and furtively placed a hand on the desk. A quiet growl like sound echoed from the back of his throat, I took it as a small, "Ha! I've found you!"

Fortunately no one around heard. But when Carrow walked out of the room, McGonagall's hand at the board froze for a slight second. Though she was positioned away from us I could imagine the relief on her face, but before I could blink again she had resumed the lesson.

"Miss. Weasley could you stay for a moment?"

"Of course Professor," I replied waving Colin off and was then the last person in the classroom.

"Miss- Ginny," she resigned to using my first name for the first time since I'd met her. I knew then that the topic wasn't going to be light hearted, "don't think I didn't notice your walking in late to the first class of the semester. You know better."

"I'm sorry, it's just I-"

"There's no use for extraneous explanations at this point, I do believe I understand. However, next time I will not be so lenient."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Now, I know that this must be a bit scary for you; we've succeeded in keeping the knowledge that Snape killed Dumbledore away from the students, but, of course, it is too late for Mr. Longbottom, Miss. Lovegood and yourself. I need you to know that my office will be open whenever. If you need something, anything, do not hesitate. I need your help Ginny."

I nodded, amazed at the magnitude of the conversation; I had never heard her speak like that, to me, to anyone.

"How could this have happened?"

"Dark forces Miss. Weasley, they are all around. Now stay as far away from the Carrows as possible alright? Do not go drawing attention to yourself; I am aware of your history with Amycus."

"Yes Professor."

As I made my way to the door she stopped me once more, "Mrs. Weasley, I'm sorry, I'm almost positive you won't want to answer it but I feel I must at least try, do you have any idea where-"

"No ma'am, I honestly don't.

The first few weeks were very quiet. Classes commenced, dinners commenced, and homework was done. Conversation was modestly saved for late nights in the common room and even then it was whispers; it was easily the place we felt most safe.

"No Quidditch can you believe it? You would have been captain!" Neville complained.

"Oh please, it would have been Coote or Peakes before me."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night,"

Sleep? That was a joke if I ever heard one. I'd had a dearth of good sleep since Harry disappeared.

"Besides, I would never have done Harry justice."

Truth be told, I already longed for the feeling of being on my broomstick, the smell of the wood and the robes.

"Has anyone seen Seamus?" Lavender Brown asked descending the steps of the boy's dormitory.

"Not me, haven't seen him since breakfast," Neville replied.

"He didn't show up to Herbology, did he?"

"Now that I think about it, he didn't."

I shrugged, "I'm sure he's fine, probably just trying to nick some sweets from the kitchen."

Lavender floundered nervously, "He was supposed to meet me an hour ago."

I had almost forgotten the two had gotten together at the end of the previous year. Ironical that. Dumbledore's untimely death was the untimely end to Harry and me but the start of Seamus and Lavender as a couple.

"You guys talking about Finnigan?" Colin asked falling on the couch next to me.

"Yeah, do you know where he is?"

"Well it probably has something to do with what happened after breakfast."

"What happened after breakfast?"

Neville shut his potions book, Lavender ceased her hair twirling and I raised my eyebrows, "You guys didn't hear?"

"Obviously not."

"Oh…well he was with a few Slytherins and Alecto –right?- the woman. She was sneering at him, sort of how Snape does when he's barmy. All I know is that he got detention, no idea why though." Colin seemed nonplussed as he stared at our blank faces. "You hadn't heard? It's been all over school today."

"No but-"

"So he's in detention? Well that's a relief," Lavender sighed, suddenly breaking out her usual perk again.

Neville caught my eye; I knew we were thinking the same thing. Detention with the Carrows? It was nothing to sigh about.

And the theory was evinced…thoroughly, when the portrait hole opened and Seamus climbed in. Blood was trickling down from his lip and a red shadow on his cheek bone was slowing turning purple.

In an instant every whisper and scratch of a quill came to a halt, Seamus however, didn't pause to answer any questions and proceeded up the stairs to his dorm with a frantic girlfriend at his heels. The shut of the door echoed in the stunned room.

It was getting worse.

"Is it the right time yet?"

Seamus' shiner wasn't discussed over the next month or so- it was a taboo; we all understood what happened but we just didn't want to think about it.

Students scurried around with their chins tucked in and tails between their legs. One word from the Carrows and the students galvanized into an action that helped them disappear. I understood that everyone was on edge, but how we were supposed to start up the D.A. and the so called rebellion if the students were too frightened to speak at dinner?

At least one student from each house, apart from Slytherins naturally, had gained a face like Seamus' and it succeeded in intimidating the population.

October's end was nearing and we had yet to do anything. I knew Harry would have been disappointed.

"We need to act," I told Neville in an undertone at lunch one day.

"I was starting to think the same thing. I was just hoping it wouldn't have to be so soon."

"Whatever you two are planning, I'm in," Colin disguised he whisper as leaning over to serve himself more turkey. "And I bet that many people around here would be too."

I almost laughed, "Are you kidding? Everyone around here has been closing into himself shaking with fright."

"That doesn't mean they don't want to help. Besides it could be just an act you know, pleasing the Carrows so that they think they have full control, never suspecting what we are going to do."

"Are you serious?" The answer was evident when almost all the heads of Gryffindor turned to me deliberately.

My heart lightened incredulously. "Ok then. Be on the lookout, they'll be signals for a meeting very soon."

I didn't feel alone. I was the only one in the room granted but I sensed life all around me. People I hadn't seen or heard from in a while.

I could almost hear him, _"A memory, a really strong happy memory will suffice. Don't hold out, it must be strong enough to counter even the worst of thoughts-"_

I could almost see him wandering around securing wand grips, postures, adjusting wrist movements.

I could almost see his smile when someone succeeded.

Had it already been two years since those memories were realities? I remembered it like the last thing I said.

Perhaps it was just the room. Perhaps I required the feeling of hope, the feeling of Harry, because I truly was alone where I was. I was half glad about that too, no one would have understood if they saw me introspective like that.

I sound silly don't I? Now that I think of it- now as I'm much older and I write this- I realize that these feelings were entirely too premature.

I know what you're thinking, "I was only 16, I didn't know anything about such strong love; the _feeling of Harry_ what did I know? Blah, blah, blah…" but I _did_ know.

I was the exception.

When I was eleven, barely a pre-teen, I was manipulated by a troubled 16-year-old whose past was just as severe as Harry's. I've told you I poured my heart and soul into him, I bared everything out on a table the insecurities of a young girl, the worries and stresses of a student. But I never told you that he returned the favor, he poured everything into me. He made me feel everything and experience his youth first hand. His anger, his pain, his sense of betrayal.

His loneliness, the abandonment he felt at the orphanage he lived in as a child, his confusion to what love meant, it all bubbled up to the surface as he used my soul to recreate his own. I know now what exactly he was doing and why he did that, why the diary did that, but you I'm afraid will have to wait a little bit longer.

Anyway, because I was so young when this happened to me my experience with emotion was far beyond that of a regular teenager. I knew then, as I know now how it feels to _not_ have the love that I have with Harry, to have _no one_ care for you. I know how it can drive you to do all the things Tom did. The _feeling of Harry_ to me, was the feeling of love in general, not necessarily the hot and steamy romance, but how I care so much for him, how I feel when I watch him give all the caring back without knowing, without a reason.

Harry too understood what it felt to have no one care for you; his past is a slight resemblance of Tom's. So to watch him come out so much better on his own accord, to see him stronger and have the heart to love and care without anyone showing him what it meant gave me the hope that there was enough good in the world to conquer anything. Harry _was _that good. He was the hope that after the war there would still be enough love in the world, so that children like Harry would turn out alright when they had no one either.

I'm being so elaborate for a reason, not just because I'm a rather barmy person, but I want you to understand this as you read. I'm sure you've thought of me as overly dramatic at times, overly emotional, especially for someone so young. You think that I added all these things now as a an older woman looking back, but I haven't, nor have I barked at things I couldn't see because I _did_ feel those emotions I did think those thoughts just as raw and powerful as you've read them, and now you know why.

It was Tom.

It was Voldemort.

Just another thing to blame on him. But I must admit if I did take anything with me as I walked away from the Chamber it was my sense of emotion. Merlin help me, I was not, nor have I _ever _been, a silly little girl in puppy love. It was much more than that, always.

The Room of Requirement didn't hesitate at all to transfigure back into the old D.A. room. It was a bittersweet moment as I stood there, all the memories rushing back, but I was glad it came back to me nonetheless.

I wasn't going to be able to do him justice as leader of the D.A. that was fact. But fact never stopped me before.

"Kind of odd isn't it? I was sad that we couldn't continue last year but it's even worse that we _have _to start it up again right?" Neville appeared beside me surveying our work area.

"The summer did you well, Neville, you've changed."

"Haven't we all, at least a little?"

"Well yes but…did something happen?"

He looked torn, his brown eyes troubled, I waited silently until he replied, "I really don't want to talk about it."

"Fair enough."

"Oh isn't this just wonderful? Everything is still here." Luna was wondering around when I turned to her smiling at everything in sight. "Everyone is truly excited, but I do feel bad that the Slytherins are left out of the fun."

"The Slytherins are the cause of this Luna."

"If that were true then why isn't the war against the Sorting Hat? He's that one who makes the Slytherins after all."

I couldn't even fathom a response. "So who is starting the lesson then?"

Neville averted his eyes to the ground, Luna stared blankly.

"Right then…"

"Are we early?" Colin asked walking into the room followed by his brother and a few other Gryffindors.

I shrugged, "Doesn't really matter does it?" People shuffled in, groups of three or four. Many seemed anxious, while others were barley containing their excitement. The murmurs were dwindling and I knew the time to say something was drawing near.

"The floor is yours," Neville nudged me to the center of the room.

"Of course it is," I muttered.

How had Harry done this and make it look so easy? I mean, I was only just Ginny and he was only just Harry.

Yeah, Harry bloody _Potter_.

I took a breath and just let the right words come out.

"I want to thank you for coming. It means so much, not only to me but to everyone who is involved and those who want to fight back. The fact that we can all stand up together shows we can fight back too." Public speaking shouldn't have been that hard; with being so verbose that people wanted to bring out a muzzle, this should have been a breeze for me- but it wasn't. Although, when Neville smiled at me I knew it was all going to be alright.

"I know that there are bad things-scratch that -_horrific_ things going on in the underground of our world right now and it's already leaked into our school, leaving a stench." I subtly gestured to those with hints of battering detentions.

"I know this used to be Harry's job, heck I know it still is. And I also know what that rag of a newspaper is printing about his so called 'desertion' and if you're here because you agree with that, believe it or otherwise, then you need to leave right now. Because I can assure you, he's fighting every damn minute of the damn day."

I heard some gulping, but I wasn't about to back down. Ever since it was common knowledge that Harry Potter hadn't return to Hogwarts for his last year of school everyone had been accusing him of running away from his destined duties as Voldemort's ascendancy plagued both the wizarding and the muggle worlds. _The Prophet_ along with Rita Skeeter fully supported that explanation for his sudden disappearance.

"Now look, we are all here for the same reason, whether it's too out right fight, or to learn how to defend we are still here because we are against Voldemort." Some still flinched at the name. "Harry once said that every great witch of wizard started out as nothing more than what we are today, if they could do it, why not us. He was absolutely right. Let's prove it to him shall we?"

Colin beamed, Luna smiled and Neville nodded, looked like I had done _something _right. "So I think we should start by reviewing everything the original group learned two years ago. We're going to help each other, learn from each other contribute anything we can and become the best bloody army this school has ever seen. Are we ready?"

"You…er…wanted to see me Professor?" I poked my head into the Headmaster's office.

I know. I was…impulsive as a teenager, I did things that wouldn't have been that wise in a rational mind, so when I was summoned to the Headmaster's office during the second month of the school year, I wondered what had taken so long.

"Come in Mrs. Weasley." I knew I didn't have anything to worry about; the D.A. had only met up a few times and we had yet to do anything compromising.

No one had said anything yet, and I would have known. Aside from the inevitable pimples gained with a confession we use last time, Luna came up with an idea to charm everyone, if anyone spoke up –for any reason- we would all be alerted that was we wouldn't be caught unaware.

But I hadn't done anything wrong…yet.

"Yes Sir." Playing nice was the best tactic sometimes.

Even if I hated it.

"Take a seat." I did. Snape strummed his fingers again. "I understand that you've had a conference with Professor McGonagall."

Conference? I had no idea where he was getting at.

"Don't be too quick to defend or deny," He said before I could respond, "I'm not accusing you of anything."

Snape not accusing? That was a laugh. It seemed he was playing nice too.

"Honestly I've had no such meeting with Professor McGonagall…well she had me stay after class for a moment."

One of his dark arching eye brows rose, "Precisely."

"Only to reprimand my tardiness."

Snape pursed his lips; his façade slipping. "There is no use in hiding the truth Miss. Weasley, we both know you discussed more than just your incompetence."

"I haven't the slightest idea what you're meaning Sir."

"My patience is wearing thin; I will ask you once more-"

"If you're so sure there was such a conversation then why don't you question Professor McGonagall? Or do you think she will be unwilling to tell you anything? Sure you can try to intimidate me into confessing something but getting the truth out of an Order member would be quite difficult especially after you-"

Snape stood up so swiftly it caught me off guard, he'd had enough of our little game; I knew he couldn't stand to be nice for very long, he decided to drop all pretenses. "The sudden respect is flawed Weasley, no one would believe it for a minute."

I followed his lead without hesitation, "Only because no one would believe you earning or deserving any sense of respect."

"I'd watch my words if I were you, you seem to keep forgetting that I run this school now it is mine," his voice dropped so low and quiet it was a growl from a tempted animal.

"For the moment."

"I know you discussed the whereabouts of Potter and Granger!"

"You are wasting your time."

"Where are they?"

"Why do you care? Oh that's right! You want to know so that you can go off skipping to your master, You-Know-Who and tell him what you've learned!"

"You assume too quickly. Not everything is what it seems, it would do you a wonder of good if you understood that, but you're just too stubborn, just like the rest of your family."

It was my turn to stand up, "Do not bring my family into this! I don't know where Harry is! I wouldn't tell you even if I had the slightest idea!"

"You will regret that decision soon enough, why don't you try again?"

I saw red. My anger must have been waving off my like flames, there was no way I could control myself if I stayed any longer.

The git smirked and dropped his voice again, "It's getting to you isn't it?"

"What?" I spat.

"Not knowing; that is if you truly don't. you're keeping something and if I hadn't known it before you definitely cemented the idea on my head the moment you walked in…what is the term…'playing nice.'

The insufferably git was calling me out on a card that _he _had played! I looked away from his disgusting face when something brilliant caught my eye. An idea hit so inspiring that it took all I had to maintain a neutral face.

"I'm not keeping anything Professor, the Order would never tell me anything anyway. You unfortunately know that. Why are you so insistent anyway? Is the Dark Lord miffed at you? Are you trying to get on good terms, trying to suck up? What's wrong? Did you not murder Dumbledore the way he wanted you to?"

"Get. Out. NOW."

"Gladly." I walked away with one last glance at the Sword of Gryffindor mounted on the wall above Snape's head. Something told me this wasn't over, however at least the first round went to me.

"And Weasley?"

"Yes Professor?" When I turned back to face him, I almost felt frightened, I had never, in all my years of sitting in his class with his suffocating attitude, had I ever seen him so deadly angry, so evil.

"If I find that you and your little friends have started up that…fool's club again, you'll be worse than sorry."

"If I may make a point? We only ever opened that club when we weren't learning defense, and we are now. Not to mention it was Harry's job, it was his club and as you know, he's not here."

"Are you insane?"

"Not the last time I checked why?

"When we said 'act' I thought it meant opening the D.A. just to learn to our defend ourselves. I thought we agreed our part of this war was to teach and keep the students safe. Not risk…death to run an errand!"

"Oh please, I think death is over doing it," I told Neville as I picked up yet another fallen cushion. "Besides, what's wrong with doing both?"

"Luna can you please talk some sense into her?"

"Who's sense? Mine or yours?"

"Wait. You don't agree with me?"

Luna tilted her head, "Well," she said, "I thought we were in danger already, what is more flame to the fire?"

I chuckled, "I think it is said, 'fire to the flame.' "

"How does that make any sense?"

"Anyway!" Neville seemed pretty flustered, and it was pretty surprising. I had thought he'd have been all for it and prepared considering his new found attitude. I guess the Neville we always knew was deep inside, not that it was a bad thing, but I didn't need someone so edgy and fearful at that moment.

The three of us were picking up after a rather explosive meeting- our third to be exact- when I brought up my idea.

"I think it's just too chancy," he continued, "stealing the Sword of Gryffindor from Snape's office is a death wish."

"Two things, first it isn't Snape's office, its Dumbledore's-"

"Dumbledore's dead Ginny," Neville spoke out right frustrated the silence following his words made me feel empty.

"I…know that," I replied still shell shocked and not sure what he wanted me to say.

He frowned, I wasn't sure if he regretted what he'd said or if he was just annoyed. He bore his eyes into mine trying to get his point across, "Do you really? Because you still talk about him as though he were here."

"Of course I know! Of course I've come to terms with it, you think I'm in denial? I saw his body Neville! We were all there! I haven't treated it as though it never happened!" I stared at the boy whom I went to the ball with, the boy I knew, but if he was suggesting that I didn't want to come to terms with that…then he wasn't the same boy who knew me.

"It's Snape's."

"Fine! Whatever! Let him be the rightful headmaster, but that sword is _not_."

"It wasn't even Dumbledore's to give to Harry in the first place!"

"Why are you so against this?"

"BECAUSE GINNY! Whenever we go out without thinking things through on some vigilante mission someone a_lways _gets hurt!"

He was right, and I had to admit it to myself. It took me a long time to make myself see that what he said was the honest truth. Sirius…our fault…my brother Bill…my fault…George and Mad-Eye…the Order's fault. We kept saying the nothing was our fault to help through the morning but deep down... I knew that if I hadn't fought in the last battle Bill wouldn't have chased after me and come into contact with Greyback.

"We can't let that stop us Neville, if we do then they win!" I was pleading with him now, "Harry_ needs _that sword for reasons unknown but if Dumbledore thought he did then that's reason enough. Yes he's dead, but even in death I still trust Dumbledore's judgment. It had to be important; you've got to believe that!"

"Oh I think he believes it," Luna said as she stood up, "He just doesn't want to see you get hurt. That really would be awful; you're the closest I've ever had to best friends."

"Luna, we _are_ you're best friends."

"We are going to be more careful than all the other times! It isn't as impulsive as running out of the grounds; there won't be an army of death eaters banging down our doors. No Voldemort. Please Neville."

He shook his head, "I'm not sure."

"Well it's rather impossible not to be sure isn't it? You're sure about not being sure, so what you're saying is flawed, and maybe it means that you do want to do this."

Neville shook his head, "Luna-"

"She's right Neville, in her own way; you're not one to be not sure, well not anymore anyway. You told me this summer changed you. Prove it."

He didn't say anything.

"I need you, I need you both, and if you're not willing to help then I'm going solo."

"I'll help, besides I don't think we will really get hurt, Snape's aura is against it."

Luna thought that Snape was against physical injury? Then why the hell were students walking around with black eyes? I seriously thought Luna was losing her mind by that point.

"Neville?" he was torn, between diffidence, diligence and courage.

And finally he caved, "How the bloody hell are we even going to do this?"

"We'll think of something."

"Ok, ok…I'm in."

"Brilliant!" I exclaimed and kissed him on his cheek. Neville blushed.

"Erm…yea…no…problem."

How indeed? I have my conspirators, but now I needed a plan.

"Why don't' we just ask for the sword?"

"What?"

Luna shrugged, "Why don't we just ask for it, it's not as though they are using it anyway."

"I honestly doubt they will be willing to just hand over an artifact like that, especially if we asked." Neville was right; it was just ridiculous to even think about it.

"Anyways," I sneered, "I'm through with playing nice."

**Chapters**

Bedtime Stories

Pickled Toad

Breakfast Woes

Chamber Scars

The Potter Pattern

The Broken Hearted Resolve

A Marauder's Promise

The Horse and the Stag

Princess Cries A Lot and the Pink Frog

The Chocolaty Defeat of Cho Chang

A Silver Statement

Definitions of Phlegm and Feelings

All's Fair in Love and Quidditch

Someone Else's Life

The Stupid Noble Reason

The Secrets of Potato Peeling

Gold; The Color of Firewhiskey

The Perks of Playing Nice

Not Nearly Rock Bottom

The Breaking Point

Grasping Smoke and Chasing a Myth

A Bloody Midnight Game

A Brave New World

Finding Forever

The Last Entry


	20. Not Nearly Rock Bottom

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Entry 19: Not Nearly Rock Bottom

_"'Cause there is no guarantee that this life is easy_  
><em>Yeah, when my world is falling apart<em>  
><em>When there's no light to break up the dark<em>  
><em>That's when I, I, I look at you<em>  
><em>When the waves are flooding the shore<em>  
><em>And I can't find my way home anymore<em>  
><em>That's when I, I, I look at you..."<em>

-When I Look At You, Miley Cyrus

I hated crouching. Of all the uncomfortable situations I've been in, crouching behind a statue was it for me. I should have been used to it by that point but no. I wasn't.

"Do you really think this is going to work?"

"Yes, now shut up," I whispered, Neville pursed his lips.

"Don't get snappy."

"I'm not snappy."

I am not going to lie, I was nervous; I was terrified. Aside from the fact that the statue could barely conceal the three of us, being so close to the headmaster's office so late at night raised the stakes.

And quite honestly, our plan wasn't all that great.

"What about a distraction?"

"A what?"

Colin stood from his seat by the fire, "Well, while you three wait by his office the rest of us will do something to draw the snake out of its lair."

"It's hardly time to be poetic Creevey, what the bloody hell are you yapping about?" Seamus seemed rather flustered.

"Shh!" I warned, "As much as I love the younger students, they don't need to be involved."

Colin called our attention again, "I mean the six and seventh years start some kind of ruckus in say… the Great Hall that requires the attention of Snape and the Carrows. We make it look like a rebellion, a riot and they would never even think it was a distraction."

I looked around the room, Lavender was snuggled up next to Seamus, Neville was staring out the darkened window, each of us solemn with the wheels in our heads turning. The rest of the house had retired to their respective dormitories and we took it as a blessing.

"But how will they find out about this ruckus?"

"Filtch, of course!" Colin huffed as though it were the simplest answer in the world, "He'll have to go get Snape because Merlin knows he can't do a thing by himself."

"He's coming!"

I bit back my snide remark that people _on the other side of the castle_ could hear Filtch approaching. His grunts and his clamoring limp and the patter of Miss. Norris' paws as she tailed him were neither quiet nor furtive.

But I didn't say any of that, though I wanted to, Neville was making me so anxious with his commentary I had sarcasm and spite on the tip of my tongue. I was nervous. And I've never been a nice person when I'm nervous.

Filtch was getting close now, just about twenty feet away. We could already hear him muttering profanities with ragged breath as he hustled to the headmaster's gargoyle. Luna, Neville and I held our breaths as he passed, on any regular day he would have noticed us there, but he was so agitated and distracted I could have jumped out and started dancing and he wouldn't have stopped at all.

"Well, of course we know that, but what is to say that he goes to _Snape_? Why not just straight to the Carrows, Snape isn't handling punishment."

Colin shook his head, "Filtch is a rat; he'll want to suck up to the boss. So first to Snape."

I looked around at the others, not everyone seemed convinced, "Okay, then what?"

Colin stared at me as though the answer was completely obvious.

"You three must hide close enough so that you can hear the password; Filtch goes in, comes out with Snape!" I loved Colin, about as much as I loved Neville, but truly it was a pitiful thought.

"Can you hear him?"

"Neville, shut up he hasn't said anything yet!"

I really was about to lose all sense of calmness I had collected, Filtch had just gotten to the entrance and didn't even have enough breath to utter a word. But if Neville insisted on the urgent commentary I was going to the miss the password and then everything was going to be ruined.

I watched as a breathless Filtch checked around him, he looked behind to his left, then to his right –we quickly backed up into our corner- he didn't seem to notice anything amiss.

Then I almost cried in relief when I heard his nearly silent, "Emerald of her Eye." The gargoyle opened and the caretaker stumbled up the steps. The three of us sat stunned, unbelieving.

"It actually worked."

"That is never going to work!"

Suddenly the entire group had something to say, "Are you bonkers?"

"Why would you even think it's going to be that easy?"

"SHUT IT!" I whisper-shouted. "If I have to say it once again that I don't want anyone else to wake up I'm going to hex someone, and I mean it this time."

That won a few eye rolls, some mutters, but it did its job. "Colin, that plan is so faulted it would be a hazard to try."

"Why cause it's so easy?" Colin asked, he seemed highly amused for someone who just had everyone calling him ridiculous.

I shrugged, "Well I guess…yes, it is too juvenile, and we all know we are far from amateurs."

Neville snorted.

"We don't need some complex conspiracy every single time Ginny. There doesn't always have to be poly-juice potion, flying cars, hidden passages, time-turners, Weasley Wheezes, break-out, break-ins, and secret agent house elves involved."

Or invisibility cloaks, and the Marauder Map I guess…but Colin didn't need to know about that, I had already divulged too much when I told him about the time turner. "Harry, Ron and Hermione would be appalled to hear that Colin."

"I know," he smiled sadly, "but it is true, the coins would suffice don't you think?"

I took another glance at the group; Lavender seemed to accept that a bit more, Seamus was still just unsure. "Okay, then what would be next?"

"Simple. When Snape and Filch are out of sight you three slip out of your places to the gargoyle, give the password and there, you're inside."

When we collected ourselves, or well, when I realized we were already running out of time we scurried to the newly closed statue. I spared a glance at my two friends. There went nothing.

"Emerald of her Eye."

And it began to move. Neville released a sigh of relief, and I would have too if I had not been so caught up in the moment.

"You don't think anyone else was up there do you?" Luna asked.

"You mean, with Snape in his office and that they may be there now?"

"Yes."

Neville's face paled, "We wouldn't know, what if there is?"

I couldn't answer that, thankfully I didn't have to.

"Well I guess there is only one way to find out isn't there?"

And we started up the stairs, "What do you think that password was about, 'Emerald of her Eye'?" Neville asked.

"I think it is a potion," I said.

"Isn't it a type of pie?" asked Luna.

"Pie?"

"Maybe Snape likes pie."

"Yes….maybe." But we didn't have any more time for conversation we were inside Snape's office, alone, and without permission, we were officially trespassing.

"What if he is right Ginny? What if could be that easy?"

"Then we do it and be done with it."

"Just like that, waltz in get the sword, get out?"

"It's so crazy it just might work."

Neville looked back into the fire.

"You said the sword was right above his desk, right?" Colin took another step closer to me.

"Yes, it's mounted about eight feet from the ground."

"Not even within a case?"

"No."

"You aren't going to suggest that it will be just as easy to get the damn thing because how easy it looks right?" Seamus seemed a bit annoyed.

"I'm not an idiot, Finnigan. Of course there will be something protecting it, the question is what? A curse? A spell? A shield?"

"There's no certain way to find out other than crossing the bridge when we get there."

Colin's eyes jumped out of his head, "But, that's completely irrational!"

"As if your whole plan isn't irrational enough Creevey."

"Finnigan-"

"Enough!"

"Ginny," Neville turned to me, "do you really want to gamble this? It's a huge risk just waiting to find out _when we get there_."

I looked away, "Maybe Luna has some ideas, but over all, we have to be prepared for anything."

"Okay, we'll talk to Lovegood, but for right now, once you get in there, grab the sword; get out. It's not Merlin's Theory of Magic here."

We all had come to some kind of deadlock, no one really thought it was a great idea, but no one could think of anything better. "Bugger, where's Granger when you need her?" Seamus groaned.

Lavender had been oddly silent, for she never was. But finally she seemed to have an important question to ask, "What is the whole point in this again? What does Harry need with the sword of Gryffindor?"

All eyes were on me, as though they had just realized all the same thing, was there really a vital reason for this escapade, or were we risking everything with a flawed plan for nothing? I didn't know but I didn't care.

"Dumbledore left it for Harry. Obviously they won't give it to him; it's still here inside the school. Whatever Harry is doing right now, I am willing to bet anything that he needs that sword. Dumbledore was an old man but he hadn't lost his mind. I have faith in Harry and Dumbledore. That should be reason enough."

Dumbledore was sleeping in the corner portrait, and as every time I'd been in there since his death, it unnerved me.

"We are going to get into so much trouble it's not even funny."

"I guess it is rather funny in a way, I mean we _know_ we are going to get in trouble and yet here we are. I find that funny."

"Guys! Please." I had spotted the sword, but I hadn't taken any steps or taken initiative to get closer.

I was a bit off on my calculations it seemed the sword was a bit higher than I thought.

"Just hurry up and grab it!"

"Neville, we already discussed that it wouldn't be that easy."

"Tell me why we decided to 'cross that bridge when we get there'?"

"Well, I'm not the master conspirator here; that would be Harry and Hermione! I just follow the plan exceedingly well!" I turned back to the wall, the sword shined in the dim light, taunting us. It was _right _there. And yet it seemed totally unattainable.

"I don't want to touch it."

Neville groaned, "Are you kidding, Ginny? We actually made it in here on some whim of luck only to back out now?"

"Who said anything about backing out? And how come all of a sudden you are all for doing this?"

"Adrenaline. Anyway, how do you expect to take it if you don't want to touch it?"

Neville could be so thick at times, "Witch," I said pointing to myself.

He rolled his eyes, "Just hurry."

Not that I completely expected it to work, I tired anyway. "_Wingardium Leviosa."_A swish and flick and…nothing. I took a breath and tried something else, "_Accio sword."_ We waited but it didn't budge. Seemed as though it was magic resistant.

"Now what?"

"They are playing with us," said Luna, "They know we wouldn't want to touch it in fear of physical harm; no one would want to get that close no one would have the time to take the risk. So they turn the magic off to, with their mentality that no one would ever want to do anything muggle, since it is so revolting to them."

I considered what she said for the briefest of moments, and I realized why this was my team. "You are absolutely right."

I swallowed and took a step, but only one.

"Ok we are running out of time, Ginny get up there and let's go!" Neville gave me a little shove; I didn't really blame him.

I cleared my head and finally made it across the room, once I was standing directly beneath it I turned to them, "A little help?"

I heard Luna mutter the charm and suddenly I was being lifted, I was hovering off the ground. It was an odd sensation, I felt unstable but I knew I couldn't fall.

"You ok?"

"Yea, just concentrate, don't break the spell." I rose a few more feet until the sword stared me right in the face.

It truly was beautiful, but I couldn't help but feel a twist in my gut. The sword brought back many memories. I couldn't think of them, at least, not then. I didn't hesitate to wrap my fingers around the blade, figuring if something happened to me at least I was doing my part and was trying for the sake of the war. Plus I had full faith in Luna.

I unhinged it from the hook it was muggly settled on and held it with both hands, the weight slightly swayed me as I was suspended in the air.

I descended as quickly as I had risen, and the moment my feet hit the floor Neville and Luna were at my side, "Are you ok?"

"I think so; I mean I don't feel any different."

"Wow, maybe it can be just that easy."

"Let's go then!"

Luna wasn't as optimistic, "I have an odd feeling, like Wakspurts somehow got into my stomach."

We began to head toward the door, "They are called butterflies, Luna, you're just nervous, but we have the sword everything is going to be ok."

I spoke too soon, at that precise moment the DA coin I had in my pocket began to warm up.

"Sounds like a good reason if I ever heard one." Seamus seemed reassured, and pressed on to another issue. "Alright but what if something goes wrong? I'm guessing we'll just use the coins?"

Colin agreed, "Yes, it seems the quickest and easiest way to communicate. Let's say our distraction didn't work, and Filtch didn't catch us, the coin will warm up, and the numbers will change according to the situation."

"Sounds reasonable," I replied. It was quick, it was simple, it worked. "Well, what about changing the serial number to straight one's means Filtch doesn't catch you, straight two's mean Snape didn't take the bait and didn't leave his office?"

"Alright, but those are the least dangerous situations," Neville pointed out, "in those cases we just give up and pack it in, no harm done. Straight three's should mean that the Carrows caught you before Filtch and didn't send for Snape at all. Straight fours, Snape does the catching first and we wouldn't have the chance of getting into the office without hearing the password."

Seamus gulped, "Those definitely sounds scarier."

"Yeah, unfortunately they are possible."

"There is still one more." Everyone turned to me.

"What could be worse than Snape catching us?"

"Straight fives should be that Snape figures out the so called rebellion was a distraction, and runs back to catch us in his office. Wouldn't you think that his finding out he was tricked so that we could rob him sound a bit worse?"

"Correction, a lot worse."

I was terrified. But I wouldn't show it. We each had a coin and we each knew, by that point there was only one possibility left.

Neville blanched and hoarsely whispered, "Five."

"Go now!" We ran towards the door, and I completely forgot to perform a shrinking charm on the sword, only worried about escaping without getting caught.

"We never should have done this. It was so stupid!"

I was beginning to feel a little more confidant as we made our way downward. Snape for all we knew had just left the Great Hall; we had time to get out of the line of fire. And the adrenaline I felt, I was just as I remembered it, somehow, call me crazy, it felt so welcoming, so familiar that I was pleased to feel it. I knew that deep down they must feel that way too, "Oh Please Neville," I said as we hit the last step of the Headmaster's staircase, "you would do this again and again given the chance."

"Would you really?" That voice didn't belong to Neville, and it definitely didn't belong to Luna.

"I guess that only question left to answer is what will happen if we do get caught?" Colin sat back down.

Lavender rolled her eyes, "That's pretty obvious don't you think? Good-bye Hogwarts, we'd be on the first floo out of here, and that is _after_ our punishment."

"All the younger ones! Can we really leave them here?" I said, dropping my head into my hands, was I wrong? Could this maybe be too risky?

"Ginny this was your idea in the first place," Seamus sighed.

I took a breath to steady myself, "Yes. You're right and we at least have to try. There will still be others here, a few, ok a _select few_ we can trust."

"You know what I find funny?" Neville spoke at last, "Why do we think this is that last question to ask? Do you realize how many holes this plan has?"

"We don't have time for anything else the quicker we get this sword to Harry, the better."

Have you ever had a moment so terrifying, so completely chilling that you feel that deep pressure in your chest when your heart stops? The pressure that knocks the wind out of you, making you incapable of speech. A moment so quick, so hyperactive that ever moment slows down to a vivid stop? You feel everything; you hear everything, the buzzing of the silence, right before you catch your breath and make it your own again. The chill of realization creeping through your back.

Dread.

My goose bumps tingled.

And in that flash, I picture the worst in some kind of warped fate.

They were going to kill us for this.

And just as quick my adrenaline bubbles back to my surface and restarts my heart.

Boom, one…Boom, two…Boom, three, Boom, Boom, B-Boom, B-B-Boom, "RUN!"

We ran, but it was in vain. I spurted out the first thought that burst through the fog of my mind, and it was a stupid one. The three of us made about three feet leeway before we heard a distinct _stupefy_and we were throw off our feet.

"Are you truly that desperate? So desperate that you have lost your insignificant little minds, or are you always that dim-witted? I guess the answer to that has been obvious from the moment you stepped into this school."

Snape was a storm cloud leering over us. "It's not your sword," was all I managed.

He pursed his lips, "No, it's not but it doesn't have your name inscribed on it either now does it? if you can read you'd see it belongs to Godric Gryffindor."

"What is going on here Severus?" a new voice joined the fray.

"Nothing I can't handle, Amycus."

I looked over to Neville, after everything my friend looked as determined as ever. He was on the verge of saying something when Amycus spoke again.

"Very well. We've rounded up the rebels, each of them Gryffindors as suspected."

Snape had yet to take his eyes of me, "Punishment will be distributed, I presume?"

I felt like the worst person to ever grace this place. It was all my fault. All my idea. "Of course, Headmaster."

Neville struggled to get up but Snape's stunner still immobilized us. I understood how he felt; if I could I would have stopped them too. Amycus was about to walk away when he noticed the sword, abandoned on the ground a few feet away. Regretfully I dropped it when I was thrown to the ground against my will.

"What's this?"

"None of your concern, Amycus."

"None of my concern?" The man raised an eyebrow and turned to me. His eyes were so dark they unnerved me. "I believed any sense of crime and punishment went through me."

Snape took a step in front of me right into the face of the other man, glaring the death eater in the eye. I'd be a liar if I said that Snape couldn't be scary if he tried, sometimes he was without even trying at all. "I said that this was none of your concern, if I must say it once again-"

"Alright then Severus," Carrow resigned taking a step back. I was bewildered and looked to Neville for an explanation. His faced probably mirrored mine.

"I expect you at least have something special in mind for these…thieves then?" his smirk glowed in the dark of the corridor.

I couldn't see Snape's face but his body was still posed away from me, but in something that resembled a protective stance.

"You may say that."

"Well then, I'll see to the others." With that, Amycus disappeared into the shadows.

Neville tried moving again.

"You won't be able to until I allow you to," the man turned back to face us. "Now, get up."

An invisible force of pressure lifted and I stood, helping Luna who had landed rather harshly.

"That sword-"

"Enough Weasley; if you even think you are going to argue with me them you are surely mistaken." His voice reached a new level of daunting. "Into my office, now. And Longbottom be useful and assist Lovegood, it seems not only can you not execute a conspiracy but you cannot land without harming yourselves."

Without another word we followed him into the Headmaster's office.

"Now," he growled taking a seat behind his desk. "I can't for the life of me justify one reason_not_ to expel you.

Before the whole misadventure I had decided that whatever the punishment, I would accept it. Even if it meant leaving Hogwarts behind.

"Neville and Luna had nothing-"

"Oh shut up. I know you all better than you think, you work in groups, each too worthless and unable to stand on your own two feet. You're to cowardly to act alone, but you Gryffindors would never admit it. So don't for the sake of any sanity I have left, run at the mouth of innocence. One more interruption and you _will _be expelled.

We weren't going to be expelled?

"If you three had any sense of what is good for you, you'd be kissing my feet, but it had become rather obvious you have no clue. Breaking into my office, stealing school property-"

"That sword belongs to Harry." It took a minute for me to realize I had spoken aloud; Neville gulped.

Snape stared at me, just as shocked as we were that I interrupted again. "Whatever gave you the idea that the sword of Godric Gryffindor belongs to Harry Potter?"

I was torn; if I said anything would they only make it harder for Harry to get it? Would they destroy it just because he needed it? On the other hand, wouldn't they have known already? I half believed the contents of Dumbledore's will to be public knowledge.

"Mrs. Weasley, if you are attempting to try my patience, I should warn you, I have none left."

"Dumbledore left the sword to Harry in his will," Neville confessed while looking at my apologetically, I didn't think I was mad, he was after all trying to save me from any more trouble.

Snape, however, failed in his attempt to compose himself, for a quick second it seemed his world had fallen apart. But in another flash his cold glare returned. "And so you were stealing it, and then were sending it to Potter."

Neville gulped, "Essentially."

Snape rose from his desk keeping his focus on my, "I do remember you swearing you hadn't the foggiest idea where he is."

"I don't! I-"

"And yet you planned on sending a care package. Where, Miss. Weasley, was the address at which it was to be sent?"

I swallowed, "We… hadn't really gotten that far."

"Liar."

In truth, I realized Neville was right about just how many faults this plan had. What really was the point in stealing the sword if there was no where to send it? We had no idea where Harry was.

"We're not lying!"

"The owls," Luna surprisingly spoke, "we were going to shrink the sword and then tie it to an owl, tell it to find Harry and then hope for the best. Owls are truly great at finding things."

"Do I really seem that daft? I know that you know the owls are being monitored. You all may be recklessly foolish but you are smarter than that," He paused, "well I guess since you _have_ been abandoned by Granger, Cleverness is a lacking necessity." I bit my tongue.

"Where is he?"

"We don't know!"

Snape closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge between them. "Detention. With Hagrid, tomorrow night. And if it is the last thing I do I will get the truth out of you three. You may not know where Potter is, but you know something." He stared at me, "I can see it in your eyes. Get out of my office. Now."

I was almost going to question him about his so called "sanity." _Detention with Hagrid?_ He must have been joking. Thankfully Neville grabbed my arm and yanked me away before I could say anything.

I stopped at the stairs and looked back at the man I hated so much. He looked so troubled, so lost, and at that moment seemed more human than ever before. He didn't know I was watching him when he turned to the portrait of Dumbledore.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, "Why have you done this?"

"Yeh alrigh' Ginny?"

"Huh?" I looked up, "um...yeah, just fine."

"Yeh don' look just fine."

I smiled, "I'm okay, Hagrid. I'm here, I'm breathing, I'm in one piece; I'm fine."

The half giant sighed, "It's a rotten excuse, but it err, is the bes' we can ask fer at the momen'."

We were walking through the forest, supposedly searching for stray thestrals, but we really were just wandering. "It's more dangerous in these parts than ever yer know."

"Not surprised."

"O' course it never really is safe."

"Never."

"Yup, the centaurs ha' finally-"

"Hagrid?"

"Yes?"

"Why do you think Snape gave us detention with you? Not to be offensive or anything, but it's anything but daunting punishment."

Hagrid offered a ghost of a smile, "None offense taken I'll see tha' as more a compliment. Ter answer yer question, I dunno. Snape, I er… never tried ter understan'."

I kicked a rock and watched it roll over to Neville and Luna who were huddled a few feet ahead. "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he did, I really don't fancy getting my face beaten in by the Carrows." The other Gryffindors however -that _were_ caught- there was nothing I could do about them.

That's when I heard a soft sobbing beside me, "Hagrid?"

"I'm sorry, I really am, I just-" Hagrid's tears took over and he dropped to the ground.

"Hagrid!"

"I'm alrigh', I am it's just,"

"Neville, Luna come over here!" I didn't know what to do; something was telling me we should have kept moving.

"What's going on?" Neville asked above Hagrid's wails.

"I don't know-"

All these students! This whole school! They…it shoulda closed."

"Oh Hagrid you don't mean that!"

"Yeh I do! Dumbledore's gone, Snape's in charge, Death Eaters…hitting students!" he pulled out a blanket, or what would be a handkerchief for him, and dabbed his eyes. "Blimey! It wa' grea' old luck yeh were sent here," the trumpet of his nose blew into the cloth, "I dunno wha' I woulda done."

Neville sighed and settled beside Hagrid. "I don't know how long we'll be able to avoid it. Even if we keep a low profile now we might have caused more trouble already than we can cope with."

I turned away, "Are we going about this the wrong way? Should we dismember the D.A.?"

"No," Hagrid said; his voice watery from tears. "It's sometin' good yeh can hold onto. It's a good thing, I just wish there were a way ter avoid any more trouble."

We knew that was impossible.

"So then we were right telling Snape about the sword and the will?"

"Yer all did wha' yeh had ter do. Yeh go' out o' the situation unharmed," He sniffed, "Wha'ever yeh did wa' the righ' thing ter do."

Neville nodded and I could tell her no longer wanted to speak about it.

"I do believe it was the right thing to do, no one should feel bad," Luna looked up to Neville who was almost a foot taller, "No one said it was a secret."

"There yer go," Hagrid said clearing his throat and standing. "Sorry 'bout tha' erm…lost my nerve."

Smiling softly Neville said, "Yea, your secret is safe with us." The pair began to walk away together, quite close I might add. Watching them I wished we could all just lead regular teenage lives, some romance would help everyone.

"Ginny? Now I know we don' usually see much o' each other but I can tell sumtin else is botherin' you."

He was right of course, our entire sentence in the Forbidden Forrest, the darkness and quiet rendered locked me into my own head, and that wasn't the right place to be at the time, not if I planned on staying sane.

"Hagrid, do you know what a Horcrux is?"

"A what?"

I don't remember if I had meant to ask him or if it had just come out either way what was said, was said. "A horcrux," I repeated looking down to my feet.

He thought for a moment, "Sorry, Ginny, I've never heard o' it."

"It's ok." I hadn't been expecting an answer. I hadn't gotten one in years. That fact, was ho I came to discover what the prophecy was.

Because of what I could pull together, and because no one was willing to tell me anything I had to come up with the answer myself- and I did -successfully. I've never been stupid. The Prophecy had to do with Harry and Voldemort; it had their names on it! Harry let something slip just before he left when I told him my mum was trying to keep them from leaving, "Who else does she think is going to kill him?" Meaning Harry thought he was the only one who could. Harry wasn't usually a vain person, so the only reason he would think that way was because someone told him he _was_ the only one who could. And with the rumors of Harry being the "Chosen One," it wasn't a far leap to guess that the prophecy stated Harry would have to kill Voldemort. And due to the obvious fact that Voldemort was adamant in his attempts to kill Harry it seemed this theory was plausible, and that one of them would eventually destroy the other.

Terrible thought, I know but I couldn't change it. The only questions left were,

What was a Horcrux?

Why did Dumbledore leave the Sword to Harry?

How did Harry plan to destroy Voldemort?

What were he, Ron and Hermione doing?

Where?

Why was Snape acting so oddly?

And of course the winner; what did Harry feel for me?

Did he still care for me?

Would he come back to me?

It would have been a miracle if any of those were answered to me.

"Well com'on then," Hagrid said to me then turned to Neville and Luna, "hey, the both o' yah, yer don' wanna stray too far!" he moved on ahead, leaving me alone in the cool November chill. Maybe looking for thestrals was torturous punishment after all; Snape knew I could see them now.

"Quiet your blubbering Weasley we all knew what we were getting into, and if I remember correctly, we all volunteered, and this was _my_idea," Colin said as he sat up from his hospital bed.

I rubbed my eyes. I truly was exhausted and didn't feel like fighting. "Colin, it was really _my_idea to steal the sword, but it wouldn't have worked with any plan, but I agreed, I led it and let it happen anyway, I wouldn't be surprised if you hated me right now."

"Wow. I wish I had my camera with me, Ginny Weasley solemn and remorseful!"

"Oh shut it, you make me sound like a harsh prat."

"You're not, you're just strong, and you rarely regret the things you do, you're just so sure of yourself."

"If you only knew, I regret so many things Colin, I…I'm not nearly as strong as you all think I am. I'm no Harry."

Colin smiled and laid a soft hand on my shoulder. "You may not be Harry, but you're evenly matched, he loves you and he wouldn't choose just any girl Ginny, he needs your natural strength. Don't sell yourself short."

I swallowed hard, "Colin, Harry and I are over; he's gone. We aren't together."

He looked me straight in the eye, his blue eyes so pure; his mouth hiding a smile, "I know."

Was I really doing that bad of a job trying to convince people that we don't care for each other? Granted I knew it would be hard for me to hide my feelings, but I thought It would be a synch to say that Harry didn't feel the same way, apparently everyone seemed to know Harry's true feelings even if I didn't know them myself.

Madam Pomfrey walked back into the room not looking very happy, but it was ofter hard to tell with her. "Here you go Mr. Creevey, your last pain potion, it seems I have done all I can for you. You are free to go."

Colin drank his last dosage of the medicine with a slight wince, "Thank you ma'am." Hoping of the bed Colin instantly clutched his ribs regretting what he'd just done, "Its fine, I'm fine."

"Not by the look of it Mr. Creevey," she sighed. "Now listen here. I do not want to hear of anymore misadventures that end with injury. You children just need to learn to lay low and follow the rules."

"It's not our fault Madam! We can't help it, we aren't the ones inflicting the injury."

Madam Pomfrey took my hand in both of hers, this worried me, she wasn't a mean woman, a bit strict at times and not all that warm but this desperate act was out of character for her. "Miss. Weasley, you don't understand. I have been forbidden to treat anymore students."

"She's what?"

"Are they mad!"

"What if-"

"My ribs still need attention!"

"How could they-"

"That's illegal-"

"We need-"

"I won't stand for this!"

"And what do you expect us to do?"

"We have to fight-"

"ENOUGH!"

My yell silenced the room and I couldn't have been more grateful, my headache was causing me to be more irritable than usual.

I needed to think and the D.A.'s outbursts were making it impossible. I shouldn't have called the meeting so soon. I needed to channel Harry, what would he have done?

"Listen, obviously our attempt failed, and we can't strike again, at least for a while. Right now we just need to grow stronger, we need to train, now we know what we are really up against, and we can't get caught."

With that I sent them to work on their shields and I sat by the window to settle my mind. I knew I could just stop, accept our fate here at school and take our last chance to hide in the shadows for the rest of the year.

But I couldn't. I knew I couldn't, not without a fight, not without making a statement. I couldn't give up. Colin assured me that everyone was still on my side, no one blamed me for what happened. So if everyone was still so willing to stand by me then why give up so easily?

Snape wasn't making sense either. All my previous years, Snape had almost expelled students for being late to his class, and after what we did he only gave us detention? With _Hagrid?_ I had a strange feeling of protection, as though he intended to save us from a harsher fate with the Carrows, I could see that coming from McGonagall, of anyone else on staff, but this was Snape.

Snape killed Dumbledore. Why would he bother with me?

Harry still hadn't been spotted, and a third of the students currently practicing were all black and blue. It really was turning into a safe house, the Room of Requirement.

The Room of Requirement…safe house. A thought, crazy or not hit me just then, we could turn the place into some kind of hospital we could be a bit more safe.

"Neville!"

He stopped mid-spell and turned.

"I have an idea."

"What?" he looked hopeful.

"We can make the Room of Requirement into anything we want right?"

Others around began to clue into our conversation, "Yes…why?"

"Well think about it, if we can turn this place into a clinic, we wouldn't have to worry about getting hurt."

Some nodded, others seemed skeptical, "Ginny I don't think the room gives us people."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"We would need a healer."

I hadn't thought of that.

"I know about healing," Luna offered.

"Mum can heal almost anything," I said, "and I've seen her do it."

"My dad's a healer!" someone called.

"I have some books!"

I smiled, "That settles it, if we can't get a healer, worst case, we will have to learn to care for ourselves." I gave Neville a nod and together we closed our eyes. I had to believe that others followed because when we opened our eyes the room was three times the size it had been. There were dozens of cots and aligning the walls were medicine cabinets and bookshelves with what I guessed were packed with books on healing, cures and potions, everything we could need. Students were gasping in amazement.

"Some of the things hear are even rare at Saint Mungo's!" some Hufflepuff called. The room was beautiful, even better than the hospital wing.

"Ginny," Neville said pulling me aside, "this idea, it's imaginative, really, it's great but it isn't the solution, we don't want people getting hurt period. And if they do then…do you honestly think we are going to be able to fix things ourselves? And what if the Carrows take notice, I mean of course they are, when they beat someone and the next day they are fresh and dandy again!"

"Neville you need to calm down. You and I both know we can't stop anyone from getting hurt, it's just not going to happen, and as for the Carrows, they can go to hell, we need medical attention and if they are taking it from us then we are going to provide ourselves with what we can. It's not the best solution, it's not even ideal, but it's the best we can do."

Neville stared at me for a moment before pulling me further away from the others, he lowered his voice, "What are you thinking Ginny? I know your grand epiphany was not just about a bloody clinic. You only said that to help people feel safe, so whatever you are really thinking wouldn't frighten them as much, you better tell me what you're up to right now."

I pulled my arm away from his grasp, completely frustrated. "You make me sound like some kind of deceiving dictator forcing everyone to do this! I'll have you know that Colin and several others insist that they all volunteer. Do you honestly think I would do this so that you all would just do whatever I say? What do you take me for? I give them as much a chance as any to back down but no one does. I'd be a fool not to take that advantage and try to take a stand."

Neville's eyes grew darker, and suddenly his face changed to a more aggressive form, I'd never seen him like that, I didn't even think sweet Neville could seem so intimidating. He looked like Harry, "What are you thinking Ginny?" his voice dangerous.

I stood up a little straighter, and gave him the truth. "A rebellion. Not an amateur fight, a rebellion where the school takes everything back. Where we overthrow Snape and the Carrows and the rest of the bloody Death Eaters lurking around this place. Where we take back our lives. A REAL war within the walls.

I started to grow anxious after a while when Neville said nothing. The thought had been dancing around in my head for months, and now, after Colin's reassurance, I felt it was possible.

"I know."

"What?"

"I knew this was going to happen, I just really hoped it wouldn't."

"Oh, so now you are suddenly all ok with this? Two seconds ago you were about to rip my head off for putting these people at risk!"

"I just wanted you to tell me what you were really thinking, no matter how crazy I really think it is, I wasn't insinuating anything, well at least I didn't mean to." Neville sighed a took a step toward the window, "How are we going to protect these people Ginny? I can't have anyone die, not on an idea that was mine."

"Ours okay? You won't be blamed for anything."

"But it will still be on _my _conscious. We need to keep them safe."

I grimaced and took his hand, "For now, we can't really promise anything. For now, we train, we go to class –on time- we train, we eat, we train and then when the time comes the rebellion will break out. When the times comes, this place, this room, will be more than just an impromptu clinic. It's going to be our home, the only place where they can't get to us. I have a feeling we are going to have to live in here. It's the only way to survive this."

There was a long silence between us. Others were chatting and exploring the new room, oblivious to our conversation, oblivious to what I had in mind. I wondered if they would come to resent me for it.

Neville looked down at our intertwined hands and squeezed. Then there was a moment, a quick fleeting moment where I didn't feel so alone. For one moment I could picture a life without the waiting and longing for Harry. A life where maybe I could be…with Neville. This boy holding my hand, the guy who took me to the Yule Ball and stepped all over my feet and stuttered apologies, the man who stood up for me in front on Umbridge's office two years ago, the one who watched my back in the battle last year. The guy who had become one of the most important people to me, the only person I could really talk to in those late night meetings in the common room. My partner.

He had grown into such an incredible person, so brave and compassionate, if a little unsure sometimes, he always wanted to do good. He had become so great, and even handsome.

I could see it. in his eyes, and I was almost positive I could see the same thing reflected back. It was unnerving but a relief.

Neville.

_Neville Longbottom..._

"You're right. I hate it. I don't want to do this, but I guess, what has to be done, has to be done."

And like a broken picture, suddenly his attention was caught behind me, and his entire face light up, "Luna!" he said, "Isn't this wonderful?!"

I dropped his hand as though it had just burned me and took a step back, had I just lost my mind? What the devil had I been thinking? How could I have thought-

"It's lovely," she replied.

"Well, wait until you hear what Ginny has just come up with."

I could hardly hear him anymore, I felt so guilty, so selfish and suddenly more alone than ever. When he took a step to stand beside Luna I had to get out of there.

"Ginny?" Some surreal sense came about me. A dream like state was the only explanation for how it was feeling, what I was thinking. A heart breaking realization that I had in fact been daydreaming about Neville Longbottom.

I ran out of the room, down the corridors and through the secret passageways I knew of, not caring if anyone saw me. What else did I have to lose other than my dignity? I didn't even care. They could have it.

I didn't even care when the tears broke through. I made it up to the dormitory and was thankful to find that I was alone.

Alone. I was alone and that was what sacred me the most. I was lonely and I missed Harry.

He was gone and was stuck there in that hell hole all by myself with no other option than to fantasize about my best friend. I didn't even know why I felt guilty. I had every right to think about another boy, Harry and I were officially over, and it didn't seem like that was going to change, not soon if not never. I didn't have to feel guilty and I wasn't being selfish, and yet that's what I felt. I felt like a terrible person.

I hated myself because I knew that no matter what I did, I would never find someone who could take Harry's place; I knew deep down that Neville and I wouldn't work. I knew no other guy would ever work.

I kicked the side of my bed in frustration. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I handle another break up? I was only sixteen years old for good sakes! That was the reasonable side of me talking.

Why did I suddenly feel worthless without someone to put their arms around me and tell me everything was going to be alright? I couldn't have Neville do that, and Harry was Merlin knows where. Why was I suddenly aching so much for someone when I was always so content with myself for being such an independent person? What changed?

I was scared, that's what.

And I had Harry once. I had known what it felt like to have his arms around me and tell me everything was going to be alright. I had him and I lost him. Now I knew what I was missing.

I needed Harry, I missed him. I missed him so much, I was going to go crazy.

I missed his witty one-line comebacks.

His terrible jokes.

His messy hair that would never lie flat.

I missed his stubborn streak.

I missed how at the last second he would let me win the fight.

The exciting recognition in his eyes when he's figured something out.

His curiosity and wonder about magic, even after six years if living in it.

His smile, his rare genuine smile.

I missed my Harry from the lake.

And so I crumbled and kneeled to the ground by my trunk. I began to dig, quickly tossing things out of my way until I found it. There at the bottom was a Gryffindor jersey with the name POTTER and the number 7 written on the back. I stole it from him ages before and I wasn't ashamed. I took it and held it close.

Call me dramatic call me weak, but it helped. It smelled like him and it calmed me down, the way his presence always calmed me down.

November was now over; it had been four months without any word. I began to doubt I would ever even see Harry again, but despite my better judgment, that Christmas I wished that I would. Just when I thought I hit rock bottom, I hadn't even neared the ground. That night as I fell asleep with his shirt, I felt someone was watching me, oddly enough it was a pleasant feeling. Like someone was watching over me, protecting me. I pretended it was Harry and fell to a dreamless, relaxing sleep.


	21. The Breaking Point

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

**Entry 20: The Breaking Point**

This is a call to arms, gather soldiers  
>Time to go to war<br>This is a battle song, brothers and sisters  
>Time to go to war<br>Ever want to be free?  
>Do you even remember?<br>Want to be god and devil like me?  
>Ever want to just stop?<br>Do you want to surrender?  
>Or fight for victory?<br>Here we are at the start, I can feel the beating of our hearts  
>Here we are at the start..." <em>-30 Seconds to Mars, Vox Populi<em>

I remember when I failed him. I tried my best and wanted with all my heart to make him proud and make some kind of difference in the war. But I didn't get the chance. I was sent away before I could finish what I had started. Sent away, shipped off. That really didn't make me a happy person.

"Ouch!"

"Hold still!" I tried again, "OWW!"

"It wouldn't hurt as much if you would just shut up and stay still!"

"It wouldn't hurt if you weren't being so terribly rough with it!"

"Well it had to be cleaned."

"Why can't you just spell it close again?"

"Because Neville, as I explained already this particular hex will keep reopening the wound!"

"You don't have to yell!"

"You don't have to be so smart with me."

Neville rolled his eyes and resigned. I returned to the deep gash on his arm, making sure to catch the blood that was dripping down. It was a nasty sight, but no matter how hard I tried the wound would not seal itself up with magic.

"So what are you going to do now?" he asked when I finally managed to stop the bleeding.

I turned and tossed the bloody rag into the sink. "We can't just leave it open, it'll get infected and you'll get sick."

"What do we do?"

I stared at the gruesome cut, it stretched from his elbow down a few inches from his wrist, and the red meat glistened from the torn missing skin. "It's repelling all magic. What do muggles do?"

"Do what?" Colin asked making his way into the room of requirement with lavender following him.

"Take a look at his arm."

Colin didn't flinch at the disgusting sight, only frowned. "I didn't know you got detention again Neville."

"Yeah, late to class this morning."

"Over slept?"

"No, I was helping boy whose hex burn started flaring up again."

"Well did you at least help him?"

"Yeah,"

"This isn't helping the problem! We have no way of curing this!"

"Did you try a skin re-growth spell?"

"Of course!"

"How about a freezing seal spell?"

"Yes."

"What about a simple sticking charm?"

"Colin do you see all these books?" I waved to the cluster of open texts and parchments I had been studying for the past half hour. "I tried everything that they suggest, but I guess they just aren't equipped to stand against Dark Magic."

Lavender bit her lip, "Is it clean at least?"

"I managed that thankfully."

She watched it as though she could fix it with her mind. "What _would_ muggles do?"

"Muggles?" Neville asked, "How would I know? I don't know anything about muggle medicine."

"Muggle medicine?" a seventh year Ravenclaw boy off to the side who was healing the fractured ankle of a younger girl looked over at us. His name was Avery Smite, and the girl was his younger sister, a fourth year Hufflepuff named Anamille.

"Do you know anything about it?"

Avery came over to inspect Neville's arm. Avery was very handsome; let me tell you, he got as much attention as Cedric Diggory did, he was tall and well built, but still lean, with neat light brown hair and smart blue eyes. He was the type that always looked sharp and perfect, not one hair out of place, not one blemish on his face. Luna told me once that this boy was smart enough to give Hermione a run for her galleons.

"Our father is a muggle, and he's a surgeon, a doctor that performs operations."

"Operations?" Neville asked Avery as he tenderly examined his arm.

"Yeah, you know when doctors open patients up to fix the problems inside the body."

"What?"

"It's miracle working to say the least."

"But how…how do people survive that? How do they close them back up without magic?"

Avery smiled up at me; there was a strange unsettling glint in his eye. "They sew them back up."

Lavender, Neville and I blinked at him, waiting for the real answer.

"What? I'm serious it's called stitching."

"Stitching? As in stitches?" Raising an eyebrow I stared unbelieving at the boy.

"Yes it is like sewing clothes expect with skin, when it closes the skin seals back up on its own after a few weeks."

"That doesn't sound possible-"

"Or safe-"

"Or sane."

"It's true Ginny, there is such a thing. My mom got them once when she was younger." Colin said.

"It's done all the time everyday and I think…if magical medicine isn't working, then it is the best bet for this wound."

"You're not sewing me up!" Exclaimed Neville who pulled his arm away from Avery's grasp; grimacing in pain as he did so.

"Neville be careful with that! I just stopped the bleeding," I said, "Avery, are you completely serious?"

"100% and I know I can do it. I've watched my father at least a hundred times."

"Only _seen_?" Neville squeaked.

"Well he's let me practice a few times on some prosthetics."

I could tell he was completely sure of himself, he definitely knew what he was talking about.

"Colin?"

Colin turned to me and shrugged, "To tell you the truth I was ten when I found out I was a wizard Ginny, it didn't really give me a lot of time to become aware of those things, but from what I have seen during my summers and the time I do remember, Stitches are very common and natural. Avery is telling the truth, but I wouldn't be able to tell you if we were doing it correctly."

I took a moment to consider. To consider Neville's frightened face, Lavender's confused look and Avery's reassuring gaze, then the scorching gash on Neville's arm. "Listen, the longer this is open the more of a chance it will become infected and I'm sure you don't want to deal with that right now."

"Ginny, he is not sewing me up."

"I can't make you do anything, Neville it's all up to you. But maybe it is the best solution right now; that is based on what I understand. I can't think of any other options."

Neville's face paled, "He uh… doesn't even have any muggle instruments to work with so it won't even-"

Suddenly the Room of Requirement fixed that problem.

"That-well-I…I," he sputtered as Avery collected the materials.

"Looks like Harry won't be the only one with an interesting scar Neville," Colin smirked seeming very interested in what was about to happen."

"You can even take a dose of pain potion now, you won't even feel it."

Neville nodded and stayed silent I was guessing he still wasn't all convinced.

"I think I'm going to step out for a bit, I have some work to do," I said slowly edging toward the door.

Avery paused his preparations and looked up rather smugly and amused. "Sure you do," he said with a wink.

I felt myself blush and no one but Avery saw. I looked at my feet thoroughly embarrassed. I blushed! I blushed like a Weasley on a summer's day.

"Umm...well yes I do," I tried, not really understanding why I couldn't be more assertive, why I was acting like a shy little ninny.

"Good luck with that then." he flashed an attractive smile. I smiled in return feeling the heat of my flush still radiating.

"Thanks," I replied nodding at him and the rest including Anamille, Avery's sister, and rushed out of the room.

It wasn't a secret that Avery liked me, he flirted enough the past year and several rumors have gone around about my having an affair with both he and Neville. I wasn't really affected by them; I didn't care about such juvenile matters anymore. I was only worried about hearing one particular rumor that involved a fourth person. Thankfully it had yet to come. Avery was handsome, extremely handsome even. But he had nothing on Harry, at least, not to me.

Christmas came and went, as did New Years and the rest of January. But things were far from okay.

No matter how we tried time never seemed to pass without incident. Students went home for Christmas and several didn't return. One in particular.

We had attempted to deny the truth a d hoped for the best but we couldn't pretend forever. However if we learned anything at Hogwarts it was how to act as though nothing was wrong.

Somehow I had managed to avoid detention all that time. Oddly enough I had yet to experience it.

The D.A. trained three times a week, maybe four, we rarely held official meetings. The room became a place to practice when you could at your leisure. Everyone took it seriously and dedicated themselves making me so proud. We were becoming very strong.

Silence in the Great Hall continued, whispers in the common room grew quieter, laughter was scare and genuine smiles were rare.

Defense Against the Dark Arts was back to its old Umbridge days, book work and nonsense with nothing productive was being done as Amycus stalked about the room. He passed me with a hungrier look every day. I wondered when he was going to act, what he was going to do, I knew our conflict was not going to go untouched.

"Well isn't this just a delicious sight? Ginny Weasley alone in the snow?"

I stopped reading a defense book provided by the room of requirement and shuddered. Zambini calling anyone delicious was disgusting, "Leave me alone," I said refusing to lift my gaze.

Suddenly a tall shadow blocked my sunlight. "What do you want?"

The boy chuckled, "Can't I just enjoy the scenery?"

"Not until that scenery happens to be the inside of a cozy Azkaban cell."

"Well aren't you a feisty one?" He laughed again and kneeled down to meet my eye level. "But of course I already knew that."

There was bile in my mouth as he managed to make his big head the only thing in my line of sight. "I'm going to give you another chance to leave."

"What are you doing out here all alone Weasley? There's no Longbottom to protect you this time."

"I can protect myself just fine," a smile grew on my face, "but of course you know that." the truth was that I couldn't handle all the crying in the common room anymore. Neville was a mess.

Zambini smirk, "Too bad your friend Lovegood couldn't..." he said sliding a dark skinned hand onto my knee.

Completely shocked I reached for my wand, "Get away from me you-"

"Don't get all riled up, sweetheart I'm sure they are taking great care of her."

I froze. Who? How did Zambini know anything?

I waited, enduring the hand that was inching up to my thigh in hopes he would give another clue as to where Luna was.

"Meanwhile... I think I could take great care of you, I know you've been lonely, and I think it is time for us to become better... acquainted." He seemed rather too smug when I quit struggling but I knew he wasn't going to say anymore about Luna, at least not willingly.

Grabbing my wand, I threw him off of me effectively catching him off guard. In a second I had him pinned to the ground with my wand pressing dangerously into his throat. "Now listen to me. The only thing you will be getting acquainted with is the end of my wand," I muttered darkly into his ear. Whether he was too scarred or pinned down too hard he didn't move. "Where is she?"

"You know," he said rather breathlessly, "this in many ways is incredibly sexy."

I sat up as I realized that in my attempt to coerce information out of him I had straddled his torso and completely leaned into his body to get to his throat and ear. So much for scarring the goblins out of him.

"Gross," I mumbled getting off him nut keeping my wand in place, "Get up."

He stood.

"You will leave my friends alone, is that clear? If you want to keep your bits that is. It will be wise for you to avoid us."

"If the alternative it you having my bits then I- Owww!" he cried as I hit him with a mild stinging hex, "You little bi-"

"It can be a lot worse than that Zambini. I mean it."

"I could report you so quickly-"

"But you won't because I could reply with a harassment charge."

"Who would believe you?"

"Are you willing to risk it?"

"You're making a mistake Weasley, at some point one bloke in this school will get you, now that Potter's gone everyone wants to conquer what he couldn't," he said reaching for his wand.

I stung him again moving my wand to the center of his chest. Zambini was rather short so it wasn't that difficult. I didn't even think twice about any consequences, I just reveled in the feeling of being in control of something.

"What _is_ that?" he groaned in pain, "One of those little hexes from your precious D.A.? Haven't opened that up again, have you?" He was rambling then, obviously finally grasping the fact that I was not joking. I was deadly serious. Emphasis on deadly.

"That isn't any of you business, Zambini, just keep your distance. That should be the most you worry about right now."

"So you _have _started it up again." I lowered my wand, only enough to let him walk away. "Go away, now."

He gave me this devious smile that gave me the creeps as he straightened his robes. "I never thought you were so stupid," he said as he retreated, "you must have gotten it from your looney friend Lovegood."

"You bastard!" I yelled preparing another curse, only to find that he was gone before I could cast it. I stood there panting with rage, sadness, and fright. I had never held anyone at wand point like that. What had I done? I slipped to the floor, still not breathing regularly. Luna was kidnapped on her way home for Christmas. They left a note, one McGonagall showed to me after finding me in the hall as I left Neville in Avery's care. I assumed she had made it home. She hadn't.

I ignored the burning sensation of the snow seeping into my clothing as I began to cry. They had her. She might have already been dead.

I pulled my legs to my chest, and rested my head on my knees, happy that no one could find me there

Scared that no one would find her anywhere.

Again, I had no idea how I skipped out on detention, how I had never been served one at all, but I didn't have to wait much longer until I did.

Students fell hard into their work since there was not much else to do. Quidditch was canceled and fun was all but forbidden, and quite frankly, no one felt like acting happy those days. The only comfort we had was the D.A. and there was about to be a huge change that made the group and obstacle that was almost to risky to handle. But we did.

At the largest cost of my life.

There was to be a speech after dinner one day and the entire school was expected to attend. This caused a lot of talk throughout the students, and though it didn't bother me much, it was a nice change from endless banter about my multiple affairs and romances.

The nature of the speech, however, worried me. What would Snape possibly have to say now? He had made himself scarce the few months prior and he was so quiet, it was easy to forget that he was the one running the failure of a school.

We waited anxiously at the end of the meal, the four tables as usual, eerily silent. McGonagall was nervous; I could tell by the way her eyes were darting back and forth between all the students.

At last Snape stood and made his way to the podium, not wasting any time in getting to it. "In light of recent events and information that has come to my attention I've decided that this school is in fervent need of an adjustment. Under no circumstances is there to be magic used outside of the classroom. There had always been a no magic in the hallways policy but it seems that rule has been utterly disregarded and so there will be a few new restrictions."

I turned to Neville; his face proved that he was as bewildered as I felt. I feared to know exactly what information he was referring to. I had hoped Zambini was bluffing, but perhaps he wasn't playing.

"Curfew for all students, first to seventh years will be 5 p.m. All students are to be in their respective common rooms by that time," there were gasps and grumbles, but no outright comment or complaint. "Students will report to their classes and then back to their dormitories. No dawdling in the corridors. No one is to be on the grounds outside of class. And again under no circumstances are there to be any associations, organizations and or communication between students outside the common room."

He knew. Zambini tipped him off about the D.A. and now he was going to do everything in his power to stop it students were all whispering, scared, nervous but the D.A. all over the hall seated in all tables just seemed more determined than ever.

"Any violation of these rules will lead to grave punishment."

And I knew that no matter what Snape did, nothing would break us.

"You are dismissed."

We were prisoners inside the school, inside our own common rooms and inside our minds because for about two weeks we obeyed the new laws. Unjust as they were, we didn't risk breaking them right away. No one spoke until we got to the Gryffindor common room, where we would all sit, barely able to fit and complain, let out our anger or just talk and comfort each other. But if anything was for certain we were going to lose our minds.

Hogwarts wasn't even a place anyone wanted to be anymore. Many people left, many could not stand the silence, the fear and the paranoia any longer. Unfortunately there were still other's with family on the run, in hiding or too scared to bring their children home. Many were stuck, and as for me, I couldn't leave. I felt a strong responsibility to the school and the students I intended to stick it out to the end.

Detentions didn't stop, they only got worse. If a Carrow caught you talking, you got detention. If you were caught outside after five you got double detention, and all you could do was bite your tongue. In those weeks we dealt with the pains of our beatings. I still didn't understand why I always skipped detention by the skin of my teeth.

We didn't risk trips to the Room of Requirement; at least not until the obnoxious Cormac McLaggan decided he'd had enough.

"We are just sitting here like petrified zombies while the school is falling to ruins! I can't just stare at Longbottom's face for the rest of the year!"

"What's a zombie?"

"What's wrong with my face!"

"Don't start with me Longbottom you know who will end it!" he said standing.

"Shut it Smith, you don't stand a chance," Neville countered rising to his feet as well.

"The hell I don't-"

"STOP!-" Lavender screeched with tears tainting her eyes. "You are scarring the first years and I-I… can't take it," her voice cracked, as she took a deep breath, "WE can't fight…we…can't turn against each other-please…don't-" she was about to crumble to the floor when Seamus caught her, and for a while the only sound that broke the stillness of the room was her muffled sobs. The first years indeed sat frightened on the steps to the dorms.

"Romilda, could you please take Lavender to bed, no one needs to see her like this," I delicately said from my spot at the window where I was watching the rain. For the first time I was glad to have Romilda there for she complied without comment. When they made it up the stairs I turned to the boys. "Can you be any more ridiculous? Nothing is wrong with your face Neville and McLaggan what do you want us to do? Time is fragile right now; one wrong move and we could all go down."

McLaggan shook his head, "It's mid-February, Weasley if we are going to do something it has to be now!" I hated to admit that he was right, but he was. so much time had passed with stoic movement. I knew that the first thing we would have to do would be to get the D.A. to meet again.

"I don't know, guys, it's just too risky."

"When the hell has that ever stopped you before?"

This made Colin look up with a sad smile. After a moment he began to chuckle. McLaggan was right.

Seamus coughed to disguise a laugh. A girl in my year started laughing quietly to herself. Suddenly a smile was threatening to emerge on my face, and when Neville burst out laughing I couldn't help but crack up as well. He was right, we were Gryffindors and we spit at the face of danger and risk, and I especially had a reputation of taking the most risks without even blinking, whether it be on the quidditch field or not. Others began to join the laughter too.

It was silly, there we were with the chance to take the biggest risk of all for the most important reason and we were hiding.

It was bloody ironic.

I watched the room laugh, glad that for the first time in months we found a reason to. I looked at Cormac, "Okay, okay, we'll get the D.A. going."

Seamus sniffed as he cleared his tears of laughter, "How?"

"Trust me, I've got an idea."

So it wasn't a mater minded plan, but Colin's worked well enough and there was hardly any preparation for that anyway. With a few more precautions we'd be set.

I must admit, I let the rest of February pass keeping quiet until we couldn't postpone it any longer.

"You ready?" Neville asked when I emerged from my dorm room (where I was reading a letter from my mother) and descended into the common room.

I nodded in response before I pulled him to the side, "I just heard from my mum."

"And?"

"They still haven't found her," I muttered somberly, "apparently one 'dark night' my family couldn't find the moon and she thought it was so interesting she'd share it with me. Of course the story was fluffed up with dreadful fiction but the message was received loud and clear."

"I think she's going to have to be more subtle than that."

"I know, but what are we going to do? Ask them not to send anymore letters? I can't be anymore in the dark Neville," I pleaded,

My mother sent the occasional letter careful not to let much (and sometimes nothing at all) slip. The letters made me feel better, that was how I found out about Potterwatch. The wireless station hosted by the Order of the Phoenix dedicated to discussing the war and, of course anything that had to do with Harry. I listened as often as I could which led to my falling asleep on the couch in the common room bundled up by the fire just listening to the voices of my brothers, and my friends. However, the new restrictions affected that too. Along with our free time and free roam they took away each wireless from the four common rooms. It left me with many sleepless nights. The letters came as a blessing.

"I know Ginny but, 'can't find the moon'?" he sighed. "They are going to catch on."

"Filtch is the one monitoring the mail and he barely knows enough English to know that _luna _means 'moon' in Spanish."

"Fine," Neville said courtly, "can we just get going please?" The hurt on his face was plain to see and I knew he was being so strong . It was killing him, not knowing where she was, just like it was killing me, not knowing where Harry was.

"She's going to be okay," I reassured him, "if we start second guessing and doubting that…we are going to really go insane."

He didn't say anything, and then turned back to the group assembled around the room.

"Okay guys, are we all here?" I did a head-check and all the Gryffindor D.A. members were in attendance. "Alright now everyone, make sure you have your partner. I'm sending the first signal now."

Taking out my D.A. coin, I changed the numbers to straight one's: Gryffindor's number.

We had all agreed to use another coin number system, the one's for Gryffindor, the two's for Ravenclaw, the three's for Hufflepuff, and four's were Slytherins (there were actually two members from Slytherin, they had proven to be trustworthy, not with lack of trying on their part however) the first signal meant the house was ready to proceed.

Within a minute I got the message returned for both houses. Then we started in a pattern:

Two Gryffindors would take the planned route from the tower to the Room of Requirement. One leading in the front the other taking up the rear. When they made it they would send the second Gryffindor message meaning they were safe.

Next two from Ravenclaw would take their own planned passage to the room and send their signal when they met with the others.

Then the Hufflepuffs and then Slytherins, each sending their message signaling the next house to send two more. The process would continue in the cycle until we all reached the D.A. room. Neville and I planned to go last, we would be the last to arrive.

Straight five's meant disaster, emergency, and what not.

It was a black and white, plain and simple, cut and dry plan.

The harder part was getting the others-the students from the other houses-in on the scheme. With carefully structured notes, charmed to be invisible in case they fell into the wrong hands (a little trick Hermione taught me) and with exact, clear and concise instructions we let the other houses know what we were up to. Because co-house communication was banned getting these notes passed was the hard part.

A subtle bump in the hall way to swiftly pushing the note into a surprised hand, or slipping it into the other's belongings when the subtle bump drops everything to the floor and there's a scramble to collect everything, these were some of the less creative measures we took. Others included levitation charms and pumpkin juice but the point is that we got the message sent and made sure it was received.

"Okay then," I said to the group "Seamus and Lavender, you volunteered to go first."

Things went smoothly; no incidents and everyone was making it in great time. Neville and I didn't speak the whole way down the corridors he kept watch behind us, I peaked around every corner before we turned. My heart was somewhere between my kidney and my stomach.

But when we were just about to consider ourselves home free, I caught Filtch scoping the tapestry hanging on the wall that led to our destination. I gasped and stepped back stunning Neville who was pushed back into a nitch behind a stone torch. "When the hell did he get there? It's only been four minutes since the last pair!" I whispered with the breath I had left.

"I'm guessing sometime in the last four minutes."

I was about to respond with a smart remark when I looked up at Neville. I suddenly realized it was very cramped between him and I in the tight little nook.

His breathing was right on my forehead because he had to duck his head a bit so it wouldn't hit the top. I was pressed up between him and the column…rather tightly.

For a second I could close my eyes and easily believe it was Harry, due to the new height and closeness, but the smell was all wrong.

"Where are they my sweet?" we heard Filtch's raspy whisper.

Miss. Norris' paws soft patters came closer.

Aside from all my past experiences with near death trouble and mortal peril, aside from how I always kept calm, cool and collected in those moments, hiding there with Neville, I lost it. honest to Merlin I had a panic attack. I'm not sure if it was how risky our circumstance was, or how close we were to danger, or how everything, everyone was riding on that one last shot, we couldn't afford to get caught. Maybe it was because I wasn't sure if that was the way Kuna felt before she was taken. I just felt we were going to get caught. I just felt it.

These small gasping sounds came out of me along with other un-identified noises.

"Ginny?" he breathed. "Quiet, Ginny…please. Shh…" he urged. Neville was getting frantic because Filtch was getting closer and I was becoming hysterical. He covered my mouth with his hand but it didn't work. I felt like I was suffocating.

"Ginny-"

"Do you hear that? Those sounds love? Looks like someone is out way after curfew…"

"Please-"

"This way Miss. Norris…"

Neville's anxious eyes were on mine, "Gin-" and then he kissed me.

At least that shut me up.

From the moment he put his lips on mine I was stunned into silence.

"Where r you, you little sneaks. I can hear you..."

I closed my eyes; it is just the natural reaction when you are being kissed. His lips just stayed on mine only slightly moving, just barely. I could hardly comprehend what I should have been doing against what I truly was doing. I don't think I kissed him back, but I didn't pull away either. I have a feeling I was just too scared to move.

"I can't see them anywhere," Filtch grumbled getting a hostile meow in return. "Perhaps they went down this way... Let's go we'll catch 'em."

We didn't move until we heard him clambering down the hall, and then in a swift movement Neville pulled back. However when he did he unfortunately did not account for his height and size and he hit his head on the overhang. This startled him and, dazed, he fell onto me again.

I managed to wrap my arms around his torso before I tumbled from under his weight and we both went toppling in a big heap to the floor.

It was a rather embarrassing situation to be in with someone who just kissed you, and an awkward position to land in with your best friend.

"Er...ahem...uh,"

"Let me... Why don't you...emm,"

"I... errr, can you move your leg?"

"Yeah...I'm-"

"Sorry," we both said at the same time.

We detangled our limbs and stood. Neville was looking everywhere but me and I was fine with that for the moment.

"We should go before anyone else comes along." I said moving onward.

"Right."

We kept our pace, and our awkward tension and when we finally made it to the door to the room of requirement Neville stopped ma again.

"Look I'm sorry for what I did back there... I just err... Nothing was working, we were about to get caught and I thought maybe you would shut up if I just kissed you and you did, but I never meant anything more by it, I mean I didn't even want to kiss you- not that I wouldn't because you're great really it's just you are my friend, and I like- well I just I didn't even feel anything when we kissed we're just friends-"

"Neville!" I grabbed his wrist that was waving around as he babbled. "It's ok. Alright?" I sighed, "I'm actually glad you said that because I feel the same way Neville, you are my friend, and I don't want anything to change or affect that. I won't let it, not even a little kiss."

"So no hard feelings then? Nothing strange or awkward? Still friends?" he asked warily. I smiled.

"Of course."

"Whew, I thought I had just screwed everything up."

"But you didn't. However if we stay here any longer and get caught we will."

"Deal."

When we finally made it inside everyone was in a state of panic, it seemed our delayed arrival worried the group. As we explained what happened I pondered what how everyone would react to me next great idea. Would they cower away or would they stay and take part? Those students, bruised, scarred, torn and battered, would they fight? All that time I had managed unscathed as though someone were watching over me, but they weren't as lucky, would they finally realize they've had enough?

"I told Neville my intentions for this group months ago," I began, "and I know you might think I'm crazy but I promise you I still haven't lost my mind I want this school back and I have an idea on how to do so. Just bare with me alright?"

Some people left. After I explained. They left so quickly I could see the fright on their faces. It was inevitable of course, some didn't want to even hear anything to make sure they weren't involved in anyway.

My close friends stayed, Seamus, Lavender, Colin, Michael, Avery, and a few others. We could still pull it off.

I ended the meeting quickly, not wanting to stay out so late on the first night we broke curfew. We left in the same matter we came, and again Neville and I planned to be last, Avery and another boy, second to last.

"You are amazing at this you know."

I jumped, startled from my gazing out the window.

"Oh Avery, you scared me."

Avery smiled, "I didn't think that was even possible."

I was at a loss for words for a moment, not sure how to proceed, "I'm not fearless Mr. Smite, no one should be, it's a sign of ignorance."

I turned back to the window once again lost in thought, yet exceedingly aware of his proximity.

"That's a really wise way to look at it," he nodded, thoughtfully taking a step closer. "Ginny, I wanted-"

"You did a great job with Neville's stitches, by the way, when we took them out his scar was practically healed." I faced him realizing just how close he was standing and how I was pressed up against the wall. I intended to change the subject and lead it somewhere I wanted it to, scared of what would happen if he let it wander.

"Thank you, I'm glad I could help."

I smiled maybe a bit too enthusiastically, "You did more than help, you really saved us there, I really would not have been able to deal with-"

"Are you alright? You seem keyed up- sorry muggle term- you seem almost nervous." His light eyes narrowed curiously into mine.

I swallowed seeing my throat was uncomfortably dry, "Yeah, I'm fine." The truth was I needed some more personal space.

"Are you positive?" He places a hand on my arm, and my eyes widened. Why did that boy make me so nervous?

"Err…yes."

"Good," he brightened and I could've sworn his teeth twinkled. "Look, I know this isn't a great time, we are all in danger and such but I was wondering if maybe when this is all over we could-"

When "this was all over"? o had no reason to believe I would live to see the end and this boy wanted to make plans for a date? Harry would have laughed, or punched him in the face. Either way Avery deserved to know nothing could ever happen, nothing would.

I was much too invested in the war effort to be romantically involved with anyone who wasn't as invested. I hadn't the time, the effort nor the heart to keep the secrets I would have to keep.

But aside from that insignificant point I was in love with someone else.

"Avery, I'm sorry but I can't," I said pulling away.

"If this as to do with the war, I know you have responsibilities, I know about your family, I understand and I'll wait. When it does end we could take it slow-"

"No Avery you don't-"

"I know I _don't_ have to, I _want_ to wait," he insisted misinterpreting what I was trying to say. "Ginny," he continued, taking my hands in his. I gulped. "You are one of the most incredible people I've ever met. I've watched you all year and I just-"

"Please. Please stop." I was a little more forceful with my words. I didn't want to hear that. Especially not from such a wonderful boy. Avery and I had become good friends in the weeks after he helped Neville, and I just couldn't lead him on.

"I can't Avery, not now and not when the war is over, I'm sorry." I took my hands away.

I could tell there was so much more that he wanted to say due to his sad eyes, I felt terrible. He cleared his throat and looked back to the window. "Does it have to do with Harry Potter? I know you two dated a bit last year, but I thought that since it ended so quickly feeling just weren't really there, but you still have them don't you?"

"Avery-"

"It's alright, I'm not mad, a bit upset but I just don't understand what kind of bloke could leave someone as strong and as beautiful as you. Especially here."

I blushed at the compliment though I hardly believed it, "The kind of bloke who has more important things to do." Even as I said the words I realized how bad they sounded. But it was a _very_ important thing I told myself. Somehow that wasn't comforting.

"Nothing should be more important than you," he said softly as his blue eye bored into mine. "But I guess I understand, he's Harry Potter, I'm sure there must be something about him. I know a lost cause when I see one, just know that if you change your mind, I'll be here."

He leaned in slowly and kissed my cheek. I stopped frozen in shock and he was gone.

That night as I got into bed I realized that Avery had to be right. Even if Harry was doing something vitally important, I should have at least known he cared about me at all. At that moment I had no clue, no reason to believe he even gave me a second thought anymore, no evidence that I was important to him, or that he felt for me any of the feeling I still had for him.

Had roles been reversed I might have found a way to let Harry know. I don't think I would have just been able to leave him alone in the dark for so long. A coded message, a secret visit _something_ to show I cared.

Seven months. It had been seven months and still no word. It proved that Harry didn't care as much, he didn't care enough. Maybe not at all.

I believed my confusion on the topic was clearing up, and I didn't like what I was finding.

But if one thing was certain, and Zambini was right, boy really needed to start giving me my space.

And again we trained, we came up with a plan, we waited, we held more meetings. All the while people who got detention were not seen for hours and returned, so defected, battered and barely lucid. They slept for a while before we could even attempt to heal them.

It was just before Easter, just as spring arrived, when we decided we had waited long enough.

"No matter what happens," Neville told me when we met in the common room, "if something happens to me Ginny you keep going, don't break the façade, don't worry about me, find a way to get yourself out of the mess, if something happens lie through your teeth."

I stopped, "I can't promise you that, Neville."

"You have to."

It took a few moments before I relented, "Fine," I said before my emotions got the best of me. "Just be careful."

"I will be." We watched Seamus and Colin head down to dinner, they turned just as the portrait opened. we locked eyes with the pair and they gave us a nod of encouragement.

"This is going to expose the D.A. you know."

"I know."

"We'll definitely be expelled if things go wrong."

"Of course."

"Let's go."

People were heading to diner, and for once I was glad I couldn't follow. I was nervous sure, but finally I was _doing_ something. We didn't say good bye, Neville and I, as we parted. No good luck, nothing. Just a quick moment of understanding.

I walked down to the kitchen praying to Merlin I wasn't walking into a catastrophe. The house elves seemed surprised to see me but just continued scurrying about. I wondered briefly where Dobby was but quickly dismissed the thought. I made my way to the back, dodging pots, pans and elves. I reached one of the back pantries where the food is stored and standing outside the door twirling his wand was a sixth year Hufflepuff trying to remain calm.

He was sweating, but was determined when I went up to him, and when he saw me he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Is it over?"

"No, sorry," I replied regretfully. "I've just come to make sure this part is done and under control. If it is then I move on to the next step."

The boy, whose name was Liam nodded, "Right…err, we managed fairly. It was rough but everything _is _under control now, I'm just not too sure how long it will last."

"We'll move quickly then. But first, I need to see for myself."

"Yes, of course." The boy took another deep breath and turned to the door he was guarding. With a quick unlocking incantation and a whispered password the door clicked open.

The light inside was dim but I was able to make out the shadows of the shelves lining the room with food. Another boy, this time a sixth year Gryffindor paced in the corner, marching back and forth, and I could tell he was slightly injured. He glanced up and smiled, obviously excited and proud at the accomplishment.

The accomplishment that was in the center of the room, tied down by magical restraints, and muted my several charms, was Alecto Carrow in all her non-glory.

Her eyes were wide with rage and she was obviously attempting to thrash and thrust around, her black pupils were swaying around the room and when they fell on me, her mouth twitched and I had no doubt if given the chance she would yelling and screaming profanities, but I didn't care.

"So she fell for I then?" I asked, "She believed there was a house elf rebellion in the kitchens?"

The Gryffindor laughed once, "She was skeptical at first, not believing that it was even possible. But I did as you suggested and told her it was that house elf Dobby who riled up the others. After that she took the story as truth."

"And then?"

"Then I led her down here saying that Snape was waiting for help and everything went as planned. We walked in and Liam was ready behind one of the racks of pans, he stunned her from behind and caught her off guard. She put up a fight, managed to throw off the stun and got my arm with a _Reducto,"_ he said motioning. To his bloodied arm.

"But you managed."

"Yes, thanks to that bat boogey hex you taught us. She had never heard of it before, she didn't know how to handle it. Of course it wasn't as strong as yours but it worked."

The truth was that I was surprised. Even though it was two against one the odds were not in their favor. She was a death eater and was highly magically advanced, in dark magic no less. I'm not saying I had expected to send them to their death, but I was not expecting her to be able to fight back in the first place. Her having a chance to react was not part of the plan. Nonetheless I was glad.

"That's amazing, great job."

"It was the surprise that helped most of all, we were prepared and she wasn't."

Still, it was lucky. "Alright well, I'd throw some more restraints on her, she seems to be twitching, in fact," I turned my wand on her, "Incarcerous."

She stopped moving. "Keep a close eye, please; repeat the process the moment she so much as quivers."

Liam and I exited and I bid him good bye.

Alecto Carrow was taken care of, Neville was tending to Amycus and now with everyone at dinner and the Carrows out of the way, my part would be that much easier and go smoothly as planned. It was my turn.

My breathing didn't want to stay calm; it was a battle to keep it under control.

When I made it to the great hall all that I heard was scraping of forks and the Clanging of spoons on plates and bowls. A random cough or sneeze would disrupt the quiet for an instant and then the students and faculty would plunge back into the deafening silence.

I took one last breath and began to make my way down the hall. Snape was seated head and center, looking oddly curious because the two seats on either side of him were empty. This for my part was a good thing. He'd be waiting for an explanation, and I had one.

People looked up as I passed, the closer I got to the front table the more curious the glances were. Seamus and Colin were seated with Lavender and all three watched warily as I went. Avery smiled encouragingly. I kept my eyes forward. McGonagall made me believe I had grown about two other heads for the way she gazed at me, but Snape seemed bored and not amused.

"Professor," I said as I climbed the steps to the staff table.

"Mrs. Weasley, taking a page from Potter's book on how to make an exceedingly bland entrance?"

I bit my tongue- I had to act normal- not sweet and apologetic. He'd see right through me and then he would never trust me.

So I went with sarcasm.

"I was unaware Harry had even written a book, Professor, I always found him rather busy for free writing."

A few people close enough to hear laughed at the understatement of the decade.

"What do you want, Miss. Weasley?" He asked as though he thought the entire conversation was untimely.

"Professors Carrow have a bit on an emergency and sent me to get you assistance."

"What kind of emergency?"

"They told me it was none of my business."

"Hmm I suppose they're right," he admitted dropping his fork, I knew he still wasn't sold however.

"Although, I did understand something about a message -I overheard bits of their conversation, a message from... Little Hangleton?" I said clear as day, no facade of a whisper, innocently confused voice. The reaction couldn't have been more perfect.

McGonagall's fork fell from her grasp and clattered onto her plate. Every head in the quiet hall snapped in our direction. Snape froze and I knew our plan would work; the stares I knew would make him anxious to leave. And he was.

He stood and made his way swiftly around the head table; no expression on his face, Snape did not look back to the frightened faces of Professor McGonagall and Hagrid. "Where are they?" He asked.

"I'll take you to them now."

"That will be most unnecessary."

I had presumed this would happen, but we had thought of virtually every possibility. "They kept something of mine to ensure that I would get you. Somehow they seemed to be under the impression that I would just ignore their request as those I didn't respect their authority." I replied with sweet sarcasm evident in my tone; not unlike the way I always dealt with Snape. A few others listening chuckled a bit. McGonagall was pale and still as stone.

"So they gave you an incentive? What exactly do they have of yours Weasley?"

He didn't trust any word out of my mouth yet. I pushed hair behind my ear to reveal a bare ear lobe. I did my best to act annoyed; after all I was performing before an audience. "My Aunt Muriel's diamond earring."

"How do I know you aren't making all this up?"

I pushed hair behind my other ear to show him the diamond stud that was given to me for my sixteenth birthday, and put on the most insulted and disgusted facade I could muster. "They said that taking something of actual value from a Weasley was incentive enough."

He did not argue any longer. We walked out of the hall, Snape right at my heels.

"Where are we going?"

"To the dungeons."

"And how, exactly, were you dragged into this Weasley?"

"On my way to dinner I heard them arguing on their way to the dungeons. Then they noticed me and told me to get you."

"Why couldn't they call for me themselves?"

"Trust me I asked them that too, do you think I voluntarily wasted my time? I hope you are not under the impression that I _want_ to be here with you Professor. They said they didn't have enough time to get you, something about 'responding to the message immediately' whatever that means."

"And why did they ask you? Of all people? Because you were at the wrong place at the wrong time? Are you _sure_ you aren't taking tips from your lover boy?"

"He's not my lover boy," I snapped, "I happened to be running late to dinner. And to answer your next question, I was checking on Neville Longbottom who is sick with wizard-pox at the moment, so that is why he was not at dinner either.

"Hmm…"

It was silent for a while and with every new step my heart was beating faster and faster. I had no way of knowing is Amycus was down yet, if he wasn't that could have been disastrous, worse than Azkaban, one of us could have winded up dead.

When I think back I'm proud of our courage but shocked at our boldness.

"What do you know about Little Hangleton?" Snape asked abruptly.

"Nothing," I lie, "Why?"

"I'm trying to decide whether that's true."

"Decide what you want, I don't care anymore. Do what you want with your little death eater family, I just want to go to dinner and stay out of it."

"That doesn't sound like you at all Weasley; do you really expect me to buy that?"

"Yes, well, just the fact that Madam Pomfrey can't help anyone and I am caring for my friend's wizard pox, discourages any thought of involvement. Besides, my side is going to win the war in the end anyway," I brutally replied.

My breathing all but stopped when we reached the door to the potions class room.

"Well I'm sure the Order, and your family would be most pleased to see that you have come to your senses," he said as I opened the door. The lights were on just as planned. Snape stepped in and I hovered by the door letting it click shut.

"Well?" he asked, "Where are they?"

"I don't know, but I want my earring and I want it _now."_

"_Immobulus!" _shouted Michael Corner as he jumped out from the desk at the head of the room. The spell hit Severus Snape right at the center of his back and he froze. His face resembled that of pure loathing when it configured to realization in the mili-seconds he had before the spell hit.

"_Petrificus Totalus," _I casted for good measure, "and just so you, Professor," I told him as Michael crossed the room with her wand trained on Snape, and when he made it to my side, he handed me my earring, "my _family_ would be more pleased to know that I along with the rest of the D.A. brought peace back to the school," I said putting on the stud.

"So what next?" My ex-boyfriend asked.

"You stand guard outside, and we wait for Neville's all clear."

Michael nodded and left the classroom. I cautiously made my way to Snape and took his wand from his front robe pocket. Holding it in my hand, I went over the operation in my head again.

It was cut and dry to divide and conquer. After Alecto was captured in the kitchens, Amycus was to be held in the Room of Requirement. One of the two slytherins from the D.A. Was to tell Amycus that Snape needed him, that he had discovered the D.A. Amycus hopefully fell for it. And then of course my part, mentioning the name Little Hangleton (home of Tom Riddle, and supposed place of Voldemort's vigil) was- just as planned- enough to get Snape interested.

We covered our tracks, we used help from only the most random gang of students, all known member of the D.A were attending dinner, to make things seem normal.

We even faked Neville's illness and had him excused from Charms in case something went wrong and questions were asked. It was a good thing I still had some WWW products straggling at the bottom of my trunk.

Once they were all down- and timing was impeccable, for we didn't want any of them running into each other- McGonagall would be free to take back the school. And no one outside the grounds would have to know.

Snape squirmed suddenly and his wand quivered slightly in my hand; wnadless magic.

"Ahh Professor, don't think you can take me by surprise, we've thought of everything. _Duearmium Areste," _Snape's eyes struggled then closed as he fell asleep and his body fell limp. Useful charm really, when you need to keep control of something or someone.

Then I levitated his body into one of the storage rooms for good measure.

We made sure to check the time table for students and there were no potion classes scheduled for the remainder of the evening. We checked it as a precaution; we didn't think McGonagall was going to keep Snape there for long but in case it took longer than expected to get help we made sure no one would need to enter the classroom that night.

When Neville came with the all clear I would go to McGonagall and explain the situation and then she could decide what to do with the bodies. I only hoped she wouldn't be too shocked.

I turned to the unconscious death eater; this whole thing just seemed too easy.

The trick was trust and surprise. The trick was to get the three to believe us with the most plausible story we could concoct. Then there minds were occupied with the situation at hand (Snape's mind was no doubt revolving around a message from Voldemort) and the last thing they thought would ever happen was a lowly student having the courage to raise a wand to them. They each had their guards down.

Soon the time came much to my relief, that Neville arrived and told us everything had been handled.

"Amycus is secure, you're positive?" I asked Neville who was bleeding from his lip.

"He put up a fight- let me tell you. How was Snape? Are you hurt?"

"No not at all. He went down easy; Michael and I weren't even scratched." It was odd when I thought about it, both of the others managed to fight back. Snape hadn't even tried to defend himself, other than a sad and feeble attempt to retrieve his wand. Something told me he could've done better than that.

"Hmm, well anyway go to McGonagall. I'll stay inside with Snape."

"Right."

I made it in no time to the great hall where dinner was finishing up.

Again my entrance was met with the same reaction, this time I practically ran to the head table, by the time I reached McGonagall she was standing at her seat.

"What in the world is going on Ginevra?" She said more flustered than ever as other around us reacted to hearing her use my name and the secret of my full name, but I paid no mind.

"Professor, you need to listen to me before you do anything please," I said lowering my voice so that she'd be the only one to hear, If I thought we had time to spare I would have gotten her in private. "The Carrows and Snape are secured in three different spots around the castle; one of the pantries in the kitchens, the room of requirement and a store room in the Potions Classroom. They are incapable of doing anything. Professor you need to take back control,"

Her face was chalk-white- that much I remember- but I wasn't sure if it was out of anger or shock.

"Professor," I urged making sure that it was still practically impossible to hear me, "we need to act now it's a moment of vulnerability!"

"_We,_ Miss. Weasley will be doing nothing of the sort. I am absolutely appalled that you would dare to do what you've done."

The teachers sat on either side of us of course heard the whole story. Hagrid gulped unsure of where he stood on the situation.

"Professor you can discipline me later, something needs to be done now!"

"Miss. Weasley!" She snapped breaking the quiet of the conversation, "This is not a matter of discipline or punishment; we've left that a long time ago! This is far more than that, this is life and death."

I couldn't understand why she wasn't doing anything, "So you aren't going to do anything? You are just going to release them?"

"No, I am going to contact the Order," she dropped her voice again and then promptly began to leave the table.

"Professor," I called out, "no one outside the school needs to know! We can't risk this information being leaked and letting this opportunity be ripped from us!"

"What opportunity would that be Miss. Weasley: The opportunity to have something worse forced upon us when they realize what you've done?"

"I've _done _what no one else would! Why can't we just keep up pretenses? We can't go back!"

"I've had enough; you'll do well to keep your mouth shut." She turned again and started a brick pace for the door.

"NO I WON'T! I'm tired of you all feeding me that line over and over!"

She froze, and I realized it was not very smart of me to speak out like that. And we both realized we had an audience. McGonagall turned on her heels, and presented me with a tired, worn out, tortured face. Nothing like the face of the cool calm and collected stern woman I've always known. "Do you realize how dangerous this was? I promised your mother that I would do everything in my power to make sure you stayed out of trouble, and you just continue to run after it! It was hard enough for me to convince her to let you come back, we need you here. You are a target Ginevra, you know that!"

"Harry would have done the same thing if he was here!"

"He is _not _here Miss. Weasley, if that's what this is about you needn't fill any shoes."

"I'm _doing_ something just like he would."

"Yes but that is precisely we he is _not here. _You can't fight this war in these walls; this school is not even big enough for that!"

At that precise moment the hall doors blasted open, "That is absolutely right Minerva," a fuming Amycus Carrow snarled. His death grip on Dennis Creevey's collar made his knuckles white.

"I'm starting to believe this school isn't even big enough for such a little brat," Alecto echoed with a threatening wand at Liam's throat. "I think it's time to exterminate the last weasel."

McGonagall step protectively in front of me, "I'm sure there is a way we can discuss this rationally."

"Oh no, no, no, Minerva, the time for discussion is past. I've spent half an hour inside a pantry unable to move- I am feeling more action right now."

"Leave her alone Alecto."

"Why, McGonagall?" Amycus growled, "Protecting her isn't wise. The Dark Lord wants her; the blood traitor Weasley girl has driven him crazy for years. Only daughter to the front running family in the war, Harry Potter's rumored girlfriend and of course the girl who helped the Dark Lord open the Chamber of Secrets five years ago. He owns her." The students who had been too terrified to move or make any noise began gasping and mumbling in shock.

Until then I had managed to keep that information under wraps.

I began shaking with anger, that Dark Lord wanted me? Well he'd get a fight.

"Shut yer mouth yeh old snake and let those boys go!" Boomed Hagrid's voice from across the room.

"No I don't think we will," he answered making Dennis cringe, "unless you give her to me first McGonagall. The Dark Lord wants her alive, but that won't stop me from breaking more than her ankle this time."

That's when the fight broke out. Somehow McGonagall was blasted from before me and chaos ensued. I only remember Neville having casted the first curse.

"Where's Snape?" I yelled as Colin sent a curse past my head to save his brother. There was a wave of student passing by, trying to get out trying to fight and I felt I was in a body of water trying to stay afloat.

"_Expelliarmus!" _Neville cried at one of the seventh year Slytherins that obviously made their choice. "I don't know! After he escaped I came here thinking he'd be here!"

Everyone was screaming and pushing, the teachers were fighting as was the D.A. "Get the first years out of here!" Someone yelled.

One way or another Amycus made it to my side while fighting of an enraged Flitwick and Avery. He grabbed my arm and pulled me against him so hard I couldn't pointed at him, then punched me swiftly in the gut to leave me breathless and momentarily dazed. He took my wand.

"Ginny!" I heard Neville yell. I was being thrashed about in all the confusion, children, running past stepping on me and I couldn't move due to Amycus' hold and couldn't breathe because of his punch. Everything happened so fast. I tried to step on him tried to head butt, anything nothing worked.

"Neville!" I yelled back, I was drowning I felt I was going to suffocate.

"I've had enough of this," Amycus said, "let's take our leave shall we?"

"Let, go, NEVILLE!" I tried again but it was too late, Amycus pulled me out of the great hall.

"It's about time you served detention don't you agree? Long time coming if you ask me."

I pulled back and tried to push him away but no avail. "You nasty scum let me go!"

"Strong words for someone without a wand," he taunted.

"I don't need a wand to put up a fight."

"Well we will see about that now won't we?"

He vigorously threw me into one of the cleared chambers in the dungeons where detentions were being held. From what I had heard it was as close to prison as you could get: closed off, no light, solitary confinement.

"Does this make you feel high and mighty? Does this make you feel stronger?" I asked motioning around with my arms, newly released from his grasp. "Torturing young children?"

"It makes me feel rather nice, yes. But you know what Weasley? I actually like the older ones; they show more resistance. They fight back and don't just cower like the others. That is why I have so looked forward to having you here." He said letting the door slam shut behind him, basking us in darkness.

I took a step back and was met with the wall.

"I knew you would show such... passion," he murmured.

I could only see his tall profile slightly from the light that fell through the crack in the door.

"You're sick! What kind of monster hurts children and won't even let them be healed or treated? You've forbidden madam Pomfrey from her job!"

"You didn't think students were going to learn their lesson that way did you? If they could get instant relief, what impression would that make?"

"So what are you going to do to me then? Something worse I presume." I was terrified but I wouldn't show it.

"Oh I have something special saved for you. I don't give a rat's arse about Snape's order to stay away from you anymore, I've reached my breaking point; I've been dying to get my hands on you all year..."

I'm not going to go into details; I couldn't really even if I tried. Like any traumatic experience that anyone goes through that one muddled itself in my head, it's a blur of pain.

Only because whoever is still reading this has been with me for so long and deserves to know, I'll divulge that he used the cruciatus curse on me. He tried to get information out of me but I didn't crack.

When I look back I realize that I thought he was going to... he had the chance to do it, there I was a completely helpless girl...

But he didn't, and that was a long time ago, those horrors only come once in a while, very rarely.

When it was over I was huddled on my side on the ground by myself in the dark.

Weak, I know. I was shaking and the smell of my own bile sinched the air. I told myself I needed to get up, I needed to find a way out. If Amycus came back he was going to take me to Voldemort and I would still be too weak to defend myself.

I couldn't fall asleep and lose consciousness. So naturally I did.

I didn't rouse until I heard the door creak open and footsteps come closer. Slowly I opened my eyes to the bright and after a few moments of painful and disorienting refocusing I saw a dark figure standing above me with his or her wand towards me.

I cringed and braced for the pain.

"Scourgify," came Snape's drawling voice. Instantly I was cleaned and the scent of vomit and soot vanished.

"What-"

"Drink this," he commanded shoving a vile into my hand. I pushed it away weakly. "I don't have time for games Ginevra." I turned my head at the sound of my name in his voice. It was odd, what was with these teachers? Had they all suddenly decided to diminish all lines of formality that had been drawn years ago? Perhaps they thought that after all we had been through there was no point in keeping up jaunty tittles and appearances.

"Sit up."

"I...can't."

"Oh for Merlin's sake," he grumbled, grabbing my arm and forcing me into a sitting position. "This is what you get when you try to play Potter's role as the vigilante martyr."

"I-"

"Don't argue with me Weasley, drink that potion Weasley it will clear all the effects of the curse."

I didn't trust him, but I somehow believed him. If that makes any sense. My head was spinning and I struggled a bit as I held the vile up to my mouth. It had a bitter taste and smelled even worse.

"It's ghastly," I croaked.

"Shut your mouth and finish it."

I did and instantly my head and the nausea cleared. "What was that?"

"An antidote of y own creation," he replied pocketing the vile. "After so many times under, you believe that having instant relief handy is dead useful. Now get up."

I complied still unsure of what was happening. He broke his own rule; he healed me.

"Stay quiet and move quickly to my office," he said without leaving room for refusal.

I remember Snape rushing me out of the chamber to his office swiftly without a glimpse of anyone. It was strange for everything to be so still and quiet after what had occurred that night. How long bad I been out for? What happened?

I also didn't know what to expect from Snape. Why was he saving me? And what was that Amycus had said about Snape not allowing him to give me detention? Why was he always going out of his way to protect me?

The door to his office shut and a grueling silence settled in the room. He stood behind his desk starring down at something.

"I've contacted your parents," he finally said, "after I came to from your little curse I organized your release from this school."

"No-"

"Not another word. Not one." His threatening eyes met mine. And for the first time I saw his face in the light. I almost gasped; he was so pale and worn: bags under his eyes, his hair limp and fried. How long had I been down there?

"Do you have _any _idea what you have done? You have raged a war inside this school. You've endangered every single one of the students-"

"_Me? I've_ endangered the students? You-"

"I _said _to stay quiet."

I expected him to blow up, I had spoken before I could stop myself and it was just what Snape snaps at. But he did not sound spiteful nor dangerous, he was just... tired.

"I understand that you feel the need to fill the shoes of the "Golden Trio" but your misguided attempts at justice were futile and juvenile to say the least. But now? Weasley, after everything you've done: restarting that blasted D.A, trying to steal the sword. How could you think- after all those failures- you had the ability to attack three fully trained wizards, trained in the dark arts? Answer me that question."

"We've done it before! When Amycus cursed me at the battle at the Ministry I fared well, when he did so again at the battle of Hogwarts last year I blasted him away. And if it weren't for your running away from Harry like a coward you wouldn't be here to criticize me, do not think that my generation isn't strong enough-"

"Do. Not. Call. Me. A. Coward."

"Then what shall I call you? Because I refuse to call you Professor!"

"Well that is fitting considering that fact that you no longer attend this school."

"I-"

"Don't you realize that all you've done in the past is disregarded? Everything changes when the bad takes over and is in control! You cannot attack authority when you have no one to stand up with you!" he slammed him fist onto the desk, "The Carrows are now out for blood, especially _yours_."

"What do you care? Why did you help me? Why are you just sending me home? Wouldn't you rather I stayed and served grave punishment?"

"Things are not what they seem, when are you going to get that through your think head?"

"My head is just fine because things are _exactly_ as they seem. You killed Dumbledore and then were sent back here to reap the benefits."

"Your audacity is uninspiring Miss. Weasley. Do not pretend to know what you are talking about. The Order has successfully kept you in the dark. Pack your things you will depart from Hagrid's."

"I'm not leaving!" I yelled taking a step forward. "You can't make me."

"I can and I will. I'm sure your mother would be thrilled to have you home."

"Don't talk about my family, don't act like you know us, you never did, we only ever trusted you because Dumbledore did. Look how he ended up-"

"GO! GO NOW! Before I have to clean up yet another one of your messes! You have no idea how much it will take to calm down the Carrow and reinstated security for the students again!"

When what he said hung in the air I was appalled, confused and unsure of…everything. _Reinstate security?_ Is that what he intended on doing? Is that what he had been doing all that time? That was the moment I began second guessing every thought I'd ever had about Severus Snape.

He on the other hand seemed horrified: the kind of horrified that came when you divulged a grand secret.

"Wh-What?" I stuttered.

Snape swallowed and twisted his face into an even more disdainful expression, "No inane little nuisance like you will undermine me again, I've put up with more than enough, you've evoke more trouble than I can fathom. I will not have any more of it! Because you seem to refuse I will have a house elf do it for you. Your things will be at Hagrid's by the time you arrive there."

After a moment I distractedly nodded with my mind still reveling at his this revelation. I headed for the door.

"And Weasley," he sighed slumping into his chair, "I urge you to be discreet, the Carrows are under the impression you are still in detention."

Knowing that the Carrows would most likely feel inclined to kill me if they found me outside the chamber, I ran. I was being sent away and all I had been successful in doing was making things worse. Tears formed in my eyes but I blamed the wind I was gaining from my rapid pace.

"Ginny?" the voice came like a splash of water.

"Neville?"

"Oh Merlin, are you ok?" He asked grabbing my arms, "You're bleeding."

Until that point I hadn't even realized I was bleeding from a gash right above my ear. You'd thought that after all he did for me Snape might as well have healed that too. "I'm fine. Neville what's going on, where is everyone?"

"Everyone is barricading themselves into the common rooms, doing anything possible to make sure the Carrows won't be able to penetrate their barriers. It's a mad house-"

"Why are you out here then?"

"I came to look for you!"

"Are you insane? What if you were caught? What if you can't get back into the common room? You need to go back."

"Not without you-"

"I'm being sent home."

That stopped our rushed whispered conversation dead in its tracks.

"What?"

"I've been expelled-at least I think, all I know is Snape is making me leave. My things are at Hagrid's I need to go."

"No, no you can't-"

"I don't have a choice!"

"I can't lose you too!"

The tears in my eyes began to drop as I struggled to pull away from him. He wouldn't let me go. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. It's all my fault."

"No, we all made our choices. I'll go take the blame."

"No this is my mess; I'll be the one to fall into it."

"Please," he was crying now too, "they are going to kill us next, we need you here; everyone needs you."

"Then it's time Neville, you need to move as many people as possible into the room of requirement."

He shook his head.

"Neville they need to hide! They need safety! Be in charge, I know you can everyone looks up to you. I have to go." I said moving away. "If they find me I'm dead."

I ran again hearing only his last, "Please stay safe," behind me. Easter break was starting and hopefully the Carrows would think I just decided to return home and not come back. Because at that point I thought I never would.


	22. Grasping Smoke and Chasing a Myth

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

**Entry 21: Grasping Smoke and Chasing a Myth**

_A warning to the people, the good and the evil, this is War_

_To the leader, the liar, the honest, the victim, this is War_

_To the prophet, the pariah, the victim, the messiah, this is War_

"_This is War" 30 Seconds to Mars_

I hated the term, calm before the storm. It just sounds so sad that all the good that comes from with the calm destroyed by said storm. Just like when I was dating Harry right before Dumbledore died and everything went straight to hell. I also equally hated the term, the eye of the storm. That we only have a few moments of peace to catch our breath in a sea of turmoil is just sadistic. But my time at Aunt Muriel's before the final battle was just that.

The Burrow was the farthest thing from safe. At least that is what my parents told me when I landed in the center of Aunt Muriel's sitting room from the unregistered port key I had just taken.

It was no better than the place I had just flooed from, Hogwarts the prison. Out of one hell, and into another. The only consolation I had was Fred and George staying at Muriel's as well. However they were not there when I arrived.

My mother was frantic when she saw the dried blood on the side of my head, and I of course couldn't hide what happen for longer than fifteen minutes. They sat me down and headed me a cup of warm tea and had me explain everything; from re-opening the D.A. to the sword and finally the attack I pushed through the whole story. I knew they were not going to be very happy with all I'd done, but yet again I was in for a surprise.

My father had gone pale from the mention of the cruciatus curse and my mother was oddly silent. Only Muriel expressed any opinion as she pursed her lips and muttered under her breath.

When I finished I sat waiting for the explosion that was sure to come. I shifted under the uncomfortable gazes and the only sound came from the squeaking of the plastic that covered my great aunt's sofa.

"Well," said my ancient host, "this just goes to show the bad impression having so many brothers can have on a young girl. Running and fighting and acting out, how crude. It's no wonder you could never get a second look from that Potter boy. You had no business trying to take care of this mess. An expulsion in the family! And after those disruptive twins _decide_ to drop out, and Ronald runs away before he could finish! One with hair long enough to question his masculinity, and another living abroad working with dragons like a barbarian! Honestly Molly, your only success as a mother has been Percy, I expect-"

"Enough," my mother snapped, breaking her silent stupor. "I won't sit here and just listen to you criticize and insult my children and how Arthur and I have raised them. If you hadn't realized Muriel I have the most successful children of all. Bill just got married- to a Veela from the Delacour family no less- he has a wonderful respectful and well paying job, Charlie is living out a passionate, happy life in a stable home in Romania. Ron is off saving the world with his best friend Harry Potter, and Fred and George have the most successful store, the most popular brand and franchise in the nation right now. Ginny had the top marks of her class and is obviously a natural born leader and fights for what she believes in. It takes a special kind of person to have an entire school risk their lives to follow her lead.

"The only child I can barely get an owl from, let alone get home for Christmas is the work obsessed Percy who turned his back on his family a while ago. So Aunt Muriel you concern is appreciated but completely un-necessary and your comments are not welcome."

My mouth by that point was dangling. I mean, it had parted a bit in shock when Aunt Muriel had made the comment about not being able to catch Harry's eyes but my jaw practically unhinged when my mother interrupted Muriel's speech. Dad was staring proudly at his wife and my aunt was startled at my mother's daring interlude.

Her bird eyes were narrowed as she tried to understand what had just transpired. No one _ever_ handed Aunt Muriel what she dished out.

"Now Ginny," said my mother, "it's been an extremely long day, it is nearly three in the morning!" There were still hints of tears in her eyes but mum collected herself and standing, she took my cup of tea. Grabbing my hand tenderly she led me to my new room.

It was tight and pink, smelled of perfume and cats and was a bit drafty, but I didn't complain. The bed was like my own at home but it lacked the warmth; it was bare save for one crisp white sheet.

"Mum, I-"

"It's late Ginevra."

"But-"

"No buts, unless it's yours getting into that bed." She helped me into my night dress making sure to heal my head and random cuts and bruises. All while we remained silent. I stared at her as she worked on me. It hit me that my mother was truly one of a kind.

Not that I didn't already appreciate that, but it was a moment where I could really see how many shades of compassion she had. Just when you thought you'd seen all the sides of Molly Weasley, and you thought you could predict her next move, she up and surprises you. The way she spoke of my brothers and I…it made me feel that even though everything was hell I had a place and a person who worried and cared and loved me. Though I couldn't be certain if I would be safe, I could be certain of that.

After _always _going on about Bill's hair, Charlie's dangerous choice of profession, Fred and George's uncongenial life style, Ron's too frequently dangerous adventures, my stubbornness- like Harry's- to find trouble when it takes too long to find me, she was proud of each of us.

I should have known. We all believed there was no way she could ever understand us, but she understood more perfectly than we could have dreamed.

"Mum I-"

"No need to say anything. I want you to know that though I think what you did took a lot of courage and I am proud of you for standing up for yourself, you must understand that sometimes things are much bigger than you are. I know you want to believe that you could do anything with enough nerve but the fact of the matter is, we could have lost you. What would have happened to us if we lost you? To your brothers? To Harry? He'd be even more lost Ginny."

"Mum, Harry probably wouldn't have cared to find out until he returned and Voldemort would already be gone so he'd be too happy and relieved to pay something like my death too much mind," I replied defiantly. In truth, I was annoyed that she kept pushing the Harry thing when I already knew he didn't feel the same.

She stared at me for a moment before she shook her head. 'I'm going to blame it on your exhaustion because otherwise I would be so disappointed."

"It's not like it isn't true mum! He left in August; it's April and I don't even know if he's alive!"

"You are young, you are still blind to the things I can see, you and Harry…you'd know if he were dead sweet heart. I'm not saying you should wait for him because that would be unfair to you, but do not think that he would be unaffected by something as terrible and Merlin forbid your death. He would be distraught. I love Harry as yet another son, and I can't be any surer of that."

She got up to leave and I couldn't think of anything to say to her. Before she turned the corner out of the room she said, "And don't let you brothers know anything I said down there. Alright? They don't need any more encouragement and I have a reputation to uphold."

The first night at my aunt's house was the first of many sleepless nights. That first night, I didn't think of Harry, I thought of how nine hours ago I was with Neville getting ready to leave the common room. I thought of Snape and what- or who- he really was.

I was trapped-indefinitely. I was drowning in the hell that was my Aunt Muriel's. The only thing that kept me somewhat sane was the fact that I was able to listen to Potterwatch again. I argued with my mother about that; I wanted in on Potterwatch- I wanted to work with Fred and George. They had asked if I was interested in doing an on-air interview about what was happening inside Hogwarts, but mum wouldn't hear of it. She didn't want me exploited, and didn't think what I went through should be public knowledge.

Then she broke down in tears, locked herself in her and my father's room and did not emerge for the rest of the day. I knew my brother had no intentions of having me exploited; they were just looking for some intel from the insade, for the sake of unaware parents. But alas, it was too much for my mother.

"Bloody hell, I wasn't expecting her to go off her rocker."

"Yeah, didn't mean for her to start yelling like that."

"We usually know when we are headed for trouble."

"Yeah, and that's on purpose."

I shrugged. Annoyed at everyone's antics I went to my room as well.

Days went by slowly and I waited, and waited- not sure what I was waiting for exactly. Hopefully something to get me out of the limbo I was in. I was detached; I was bored; I was mostly alone. Fred and George were gone most of the day. I did chores with no one to talk to. I read books alone in the sitting room, and I listened to boring small talk. I listened to Muriel's criticism at breakfast, at lunch and at dinner.

Finally just as I thought pulling my hair out would be a worth-while pastime, my mother told me some very interesting news.

"I don't want you to over react, and I don't want to try to be reckless, I'm telling you this because I believe you deserve to know."

"Mum, what is it?"

"Harry, Ron and Hermione are with Bill and Fleur at Shell Cottage." Shell Cottage being their home. Shell Cottage being my brother's home.

I didn't react, I just blinked.

"They showed up a few days ago, bloody and stricken, with the real sword of Gryffindor, Dean Thomas, that goblin Griphook, Ollivander the wandmaker, Luna, and the poor body of the house elf Dobby Harry cared for so much. They buried him that night," she continued.

I continued to breath, I continued to blink.

"Bill doesn't really know much yet- they are still all adjusting- but apparently the three of them rescued all the others from Malfoy Manor. What happened there and why, none of them will tell. And Bill still doesn't know." She took my unresponsive hand, "The point is they are _all _safe-well not that poor soul Dobby- but they are all safe, Fleur is feeding them and caring them and tending to their wounds, she says they all need fattening up. But since we have one extra room here and they are tight as can be there, we decided it would be best if Ollivander stayed here with us for the time being. It would be a much better place to rest and recuperate." Mum smiled encouragingly, but I wasn't really paying attention to her.

Many things were being thrown at me in one sitting.

My mind was racing at all these pieces of the puzzle, that somehow did not fit together but in my case, all affected me.

They were all safe.

The missing ex-boyfriend.

The kidnapped best friend.

The wand maker that disappeared almost a year ago.

The house elf that was not in the kitchens a few days before.

The traveling brother.

The abroad almost-sister.

And….well…Harry.

They were all together. They were all safe.

In my head I calculated something that clicked, when I was in the kitchens a few days before and I briefly wondered where Donny was, he was in fact being laid to rest at my bother's home.

Way too much information all at once, and after a moment it really settled in. I stood.

"Ok, let's go," I said, finding my trainers and slipping them on.

"Go where sweetheart?"

"I stopped and turned to my mother, "What do you mean _where? _We must go see them of course." I found my reflection in the mirror above the mantle and began fixing my hair.

"Ginny, we are not going to Shell Cottage."

"What? Why not?"

"Well for one, it is nearly mid-night-"

"Alright then first thing in the morning."

"No Ginny, you need to stay here."

"Stay here? Stay _here? _And do what? Lose my mind, or what's left of it? Mum you have to be joking. Ron is _home_ and you don't' want to go see him?"

"Calm down, dear, I know how much you've missed them but it is not a good idea. Everyone needs to stay where they are and when all this is over they will still be there."

I let out one harsh laugh, "Are you insane? Do you honestly think they are back for good? If they were then this war would be over by now! They're going to take off any moment so we need to take advantage!"

"You need to relax, I will not have you yelling at me do you understand-"

"No I do not understand! Up until about five minutes ago I thought Luna to be _dead_. My brother, my two best friends, my ex-boyfriend and my…well Harry are all in one safe spot after _months_ of worry and you won't even let me _see_ them? How could you expect me to sit in this house and listen to my own mind until it blows up?"

"Ginevra Molly Weasley do NOT use that tone with me, I've made up my mind and you will NOT question me nor my motives. You WILL stay _here_ and that is final. Now go to your room."

"I am sixteen years old you can't keep treating me like a child!"

"Go to your room NOW!"

"AH!" I screamed in frustration and slammed the door to my room with all the might I could muster.

There was really no point in pondering anything, no point to even think or consider, _I was going to Shell Cottage_. Even if I had to sneak out.

And that is precisely what I did.

Ollivander arrived a few days later, skin, bones and a practically translucent complexion. I almost couldn't believe that he apparently looked much better than he did when he first made it to Bill and Fleur's. HE was a sweet man, he was quiet and kept to himself. A very curious man indeed.

It took about a week but I managed to get the floo connected. I didn't have Fred and George as brothers for nothing; of all the times they sneaked out of the house I learned a few things. And magic outside of school? Since it went that the ministry could only track magic as a whole in a household a home with so much magic as mine went rather...over looked. Fred and George took that as a life moral and guideline, while Ron and I were more hesitant. But at sixteen, in the middle of a war, after all I already risked, magic to get the floo connected was the last thing that flickered through my mind, so it wasn't hard to get Fred and George to help me.

"Maybe we should go with you,"

"It would be fun,"

"We haven't been to the cottage yet,"

"And we'd love to corrupt it!"

"Oh no," I said, "You need to stay here and cover for me. Mum and Muriel would definitely notice if you were missing for a few hours."

They could only agree.

The only thing I briefly considered was the dangerous risk I was taking by traveling by floo. But I ultimately didn't care, didn't care if my aunt's floo was being monitored at that moment.

Without looking back, I threw the powder into the fireplace and didn't look back.

"Ginny?" I heard Bill's voice, "Oh my- Ginny!" I stepped out of his floo and Bill swooped my into his arms, "What are you doing here? It's dangerous! Oh bullocks- it's great to see you! Are you alright? I heard about school. Does mum know you're here?"

"Bill- I can't breathe-"

He immediately released me and I surveyed the cottage. It was two stories, quaint and cozy, homely and simply lovely. It was embellished with sweet and elegant furnishings, it had a touch of French style and Bill's adventurous taste. There were photos all over of the Delacours and several of my family. It was perfect.

My heart began beating as I realized Harry could descend those steps any moment.

"To answer your questions: I came because I was going crazy in that house, I came because I want to see my friends. Mum doesn't know, I don't care of it was dangerous and I'm alright. School _was _a nightmare but I survived," I said in one breath.

He watched me with a raised eyebrow and I returned his look with one of defiance. "Where is everyone?"

"Ginny you shouldn't have done this."

"Where are they Bill?"

"You need to go home-"

"HERMIONE! RON! LUNA!" I yelled up the stairs ignoring my brother. He pulled me back and used his hand to clamp my mouth shut.

"Ginny, Griphook is resting!"

"Then just tell me where they are, I want to see them."

Bill frowned, "I can't Ginny, I'm sorry!"

"How can you do this to me Bill, I thought you of all people would understand-"

"Ginny you don't understand they-"

"They're gone, Ginny."

I snapped my head up to the new voice, Luna was on the stare case starring down at me alive and well.

"Luna? Luna!" I cried and ran to hug her but then came to my senses and stopped. "Wait, what?"

"Harry, Ron and Hermione have left."

"No-" I objected, "No. That's not possible they just got here. I made _sure _to make it here on time!"

"Ginny they'd been here for three weeks."

"What? No! Mum only told me a week ago! Mr. Ollivander just got settled and Muriel's!"

"Ginny, it took a while to get the information out to you, love," Bill said. "They left a note just this morning. You just missed them."

Tears sprung in my eyes as I realized just how close I had come. "No...I...no..." I shook my head, "he was right here..." I succumbed into tears, and Bill grabbed me again.

"I know Ron was right here, and he was okay and he's going to come home-"

"She's speaking of Harry, Bill."

They both led me to the couch and sat me down. "Oh..." He said quietly. Bill obviously couldn't make any assurances for _him. _

"They're almost done, Ginny," said Luna. "I just know it. Time is running out, I feel the climax coming, don't you?"

All I felt at that point was yet again the sting of heart break. They had been so close and yet they didn't even think to let me know, to see me or anything. I was right, I wasn't important anymore.

"They didn't leave a message for me did they?" I tried, hoping for perhaps one last shot.

Bill looked down, sad that his answer would hurt his sister's heart. "I'm sorry."

"Ginny?"

I looked up at the sound of yet another voice. It was Dean at the top of the stairs. I cleared my throat, "Hi Dean."

"Are you... Are you alright?"

"I'm just fine, or well, I will be." I smiled apologetically, "I'm so glad to see that you're okay, I was so worried when you didn't return to school."

Dean smiled and but didn't come any closer.

"I'm going to reach mum," Bill finally said standing up, "I'll tell her that you'll be spending the night at least, is that alright?"

I wiped my tears, "That would be wonderful."

"Okay then, Luna, Dean, she's all yours."

"Neville really misses you, you know. He was so frightened- we all were, but Neville just about lost it," I said taking a bite of the dinner Fleur had just served.

Luna smiled, "Oh how nice of him to worry, I just hope he keeps tabs on what he almost lost."

Bill looked at Luna as though she had grown another head, I guessed he still wasn't used to rare charm.

"Well yes, I guess I made sure he kept it in a safe place," I replied with a chuckle.

Dean snorted, "I should have known, Lovegood and Longbottom; it's perfect."

"Yes our names do fit perfectly. Something like that is rather significant don't you think?"

I laughed the first laugh I'd had in a long time, "I guess so Luna."

"Anyway Bill, did Harry ever even come close to mentioning what they spent so much time discussing with Griphook?" Dean asked, "I know it's a long shot but it's just I heard odd things when I would pass the room they were always locked in."

I looked up to my brother engrossed in whatever he was about to say.

"No I'm afraid not Dean, I tried though. I spoke to Harry privately about all the time they spent with Griphook. I actually told him that it was less dangerous to break into Gringotts than it was to trust a go goblin."

Dean choked on his pumpkin juice.

"Nargles in your throat Dean?"

"Er... No it's just, that's precisely what I heard them discussing one time. That is why thought I would ask, it seems farfetched to believe someone planning to break into Gringotts. Even if it was Harry Potter."

"Is that really what they were talking about?" I asked just as unconvinced as Dean was.

"Yeah, I also heard something about them finding something... I really didn't hear much."

Bill shook his head, "I love Harry like a brother and I have full faith in him in whatever he has to do... but I really don't think he would be daft enough to break into Gringotts, you are right Dean, I think that that is beyond possible. Even for Harry. You must have heard wrong."

The other continued eating while I felt a large lump in my throat. Something told me that what they were trying to find was a Horcrux and that there was one hidden in a vault inside Gringotts. The others didn't know Harry like I did. He was more ruthless than they gave him credit for. And if he spent so much time with a goblin... he had a better reason for it than just a social conversation.

I decided that I might as well take another chance.

"While they were here, did you happen to hear anything about a Horcrux?"

"Ahh!" Came a screech from the doorway, "Not in my 'ome!" Fleur dropped the tray she was holding and clamped her hands against her ears. "De toutes les mauvaises choses!" she muttered in French, "Lui pardoner, benisse cette maison!"

"Sweetheart!" Bill cried as he rushed to her side. "What is it? are you alright?"

The blonde veela was whiter than her usual snowy complexion. "No- I am not! Please do not speak of such dark magic! It is an abomination; it is a curse upon zis 'ouse!" she pleaded, "Ne parle pa ces forces terribles de la magic noise!"

"Bill what's going on?"

It took a few minutes to calm her down, but finally my brother was able to coax her into a chair.

"I am terribly sorry Ginny," she said, "it eez only you much watch what you say, especially if you do not know of what you speak." She took a sip of the water Dean passed her. "You spoke of ze darkest magic zere eez.; ze worst zing in ze universe."

I swallowed, "Fleur, please, if you know- please it is so important- could you tell me what it is please?"

"Ginny, don't-"

"It eez alright Bill," she whispered, as she looked me in the eyes. "Une june ame ne duriat pas connaitre de telles choses."

"Please Fleur, none of us know French!" I begged.

"I do not zink you should know. To be so young and hear of such zings…"

"I am only four years younger than you are!" I kneeled down to meet her eye level.

"Please."

After so long wondering, feeling so confused I finally had my chance, I could get my answer.

She continued to stare me down for a moment before closing her eyes, "Alright, Ginny and I must speak in private."

Completely confused, Luna and Dean made their way up the stairs.

"Bill, you as well."

"But-"

"No buts, zis is between us."

He begrudgingly left, and I was quite surprise, Fleur and I usually avoided being left alone together.

"Let me light a candle. To speak of zis, our breath must be burned as to not spread around ze 'ouse." I said nothing as she did her ritual thing, I just waited at the edge of my seat.

"Ginny," she said, sitting down again, the candle now glowing between us. "You must understand, I lost my calm because for days ever since 'Arry, Ron and 'Ermione arrived 'ere I 'ave 'ad a suspicion zat zis all had to do wiz…'Or-'Orcruxes," she stuttered. "'Earing it out loud was ze confirmation I did not want to 'ear. I know I was right, it 'as to do with 'orcruxes because where would you get an idea like that, if not from them three in ze first place? Non? Am I right?"

I nodded, "I heard them talking about horcruxes last summer."

"I will only tell you because I know you are strong, I know you love 'Arry, and I know 'ow it feels to be left on ze sidelines worrying about those you love. You deserve to know."

I never thought I would ever appreciate Fluer as much as I did in that moment. That was when I began regretting my animosity all those years. That was when I began to truly love my sister-in-law, and not _just _tolerate her.

"If my zeory iz indeed correct, zen zis war iz much more dark than we thought it was. If my zoery iz right, what 'Arry, Ron and 'Ermione are doing iz ze most important task in zis battle against darkness. I fear for zem."

"Fleur, what does this have to do with horcruxes?"

She took my hand in both of hers; her blue eyes clouded over. "A 'orcrux, Ginny, iz an object in which you place a piece of your soul into. It could be anything. For a person to rip 'iz or 'er soul is black magic, Ginny."

"A piece of soul?"

"Yes, az long az you 'ave a 'orcrux you can not die; you 'ave a piece of yourself hiding somewhere else. You are immortal."

My world was slowly crashing down around me as everything fell into place. "So when you die, your soul will come alive again through the horcrux…"

"Yes, Ginny," she nodded as tears welled in her eyes.

I couldn't breathe well at all, "And this horcrux… to become alive again…it needs someone, doesn't it? It needs to feed off of someone else doesn't it?" I stated more than asked.

"Yes."

"How do you create one?"

"By performing ze very act zat rips your soul in ze first place. You must commit a murder."

I began to cry along with her, but neither of us took much notice. "So your theory…"

"Yes, my zeroy eez zat You-Know-'ho 'as a 'orcrux, and zat 'arry and the other two are searching for it."

It all made perfect sense, that was how Voldemort kept coming back. The diary- Tom Riddle's diary- Dumbledore had told me held a piece of Voldemort's soul. Tom fed on _me _to gain strength; he poured himself into me to regain full power. I just didn't know that is was called a horcrux, I just didn't know how dangerous and dark that was, I didn't give what Dumbledore told me a second thought because I didn't know any better, I was young and just took it at face value. I didn't realize that it meant Voldemort was _immortal_. It all added up.

Except for one thing.

"Can someone have more than one Horcrux Fleur?"

She was startled by me question, "I suppose it could be possible, but I do not know. Do you zink 'e 'as more than one Ginny?"

The diary horcrux was destroyed; Dumbledore assured me, and I saw it with my own eyes. So unless someone stole the diary that has been decaying for the last five years, then there is another horcrux that the trio is looking for.

And if you could have two…then why not have more? Tom has killed so many people, he could have hundreds lying around. And Dumbledore left Harry the mission to search and destroy them. They could be anywhere, or anything.

"I don't know Fleur…I just don't know."

Oddly enough I let Fleur help me get into bed as though she were me mother or something. Luna was already asleep while Fleur and I stayed up a while longer talking and occasionally tearing. I explained to her everything that had transpired between Harry and I, and she listened.

"I do want you to know one zing Ginny. I do not weesh to disturb 'Arry's privacy, but I zink it will affect your decision zat 'Arry does not care about you." She handed me a cup of tea as I propped myself back onto my pillows. "Ze nigh before 'e left I was walking by 'is room- on my way to give Mr. Ollivander 'is midnight dose of potion and I 'eard 'im tossing and turning. I figured 'e was 'aging anozer nightmare- 'e 'as zen very often."

I nodded, unsure if I wanted to hear the rest.

"Well, zen suddenly I 'eard 'im say your name- and please forgive me, but I first zought zat 'e was with you," said Fleur blushing, and I realized what she was implying. "You must understand for a moment I believed the sounds of tossing and turning were... Well anyway usually I would never 'ave interfered because you both would 'ave been completely in your own right- 'Arry 'as been so sad, it would 'ave meant... sorry, I am getting off ze point. I would not 'ave I terfered but I know Bill would have been very upset and with Ron zere, you two would have been being very risky." She smirked, "Not zat being risky is not fun-"

"Fleur-please." I begged dying of embarrassment.

"Yes well, I knocked on ze door and nothing happened, I cracked ze door open and zere where no sounds of scuffle or bed springs and so I poked my 'ead in. 'Arry was sleeping peacefully, wiz a small smile on 'is face. 'E sighed your name again and I realized that 'Arry _was_ 'aving a nightmare but you, or well ze zought of you had only just taken it away."

I refused to look much into what Fleur had said. Even when I was sent back-and was undoubtedly grounded (not much change to my daily life) and undoubtedly bored, I did not allow my thoughts to stray to Fleur's little story. It didn't really mean anything.

I had nightmares again, this time of Tom popping out of the dresser in my room, the sink in the kitchen, the head of the shower... anything and everything. Horcruxes haunted my dreams and each one would tell me that Harry didn't love me, that he has found someone else. That he didn't care.

I would wake up with a start, feeling as though Harry had just been there beside me, like I had just missed him, as though he was smoke that I would come so close to but just couldn't grasp.

My days at Muriel's were sad- but no one asked because being happy is what would have been out of the ordinary.

The idea of Snape bothered me as well; was he good or was he bad? He killed Dumbledore, didn't that make him evil? And then with the sword-

THE SWORD!

I had forgotten, in all the commotion, that mum had told me Harry arrived at the cottage with the sword. I wondered how that was possible- if Snape was supposedly the only one who had the sword...

Could Harry have broken into the school and gotten it? Done what we had failed to do? There was a pang in my heart when I thought he might have done that and not bothered to check on me or let me even know he had been there….

Then I remembered how Snape had turned to the portrait of a sleeping Dumbledore when he thought I had left the room. He had asked Dumbledore why he didn't know…he was so surprised to find out that the sword had been left to Harry in Dumbledore's will; it was as though Snape thought it was pertinent for him to know. Then suddenly Harry _does _have the sword?

Somehow the possibility of Harry returning to Hogwarts seemed a foolish thought.

Had Snape been the one to send the sword?

Who the hell was Severus Snape?

If you asked me now, years from when all this happened, what day in my life would I remember the most it wouldn't be the day I got engaged, it wouldn't be the day I graduated from school or the day I became a professional Quidditch star, I would tell you May 2nd. The day that changed our world forever. Of course, anyone reading this would already know that. History was made on May 2, 1998.

I had been at Muriel's for weeks already. I read sappy romance novels my aunt had in her library, I read my charms book from cover to cover I helped my mother with the cleaning, I spoke with Fred and George only when they arrived in the evenings, and I listened to my great aunt's endless nagging.

At night I would awake from my nightmares and wonder what Harry was doing. Did he know how many horcruxes there were? Had he found any?

Over all when the sun fell on May 1st I had no reason to believe that the next day would be any different from the last.

I was awakened by a warm sensation in the palm of my hand. Disoriented from sleep, I pulled my hand out from under my pillow and opened it to see that I had fallen asleep clutching my D.A. coin after staying up considering the choices I made and wondering what was happening at school. I guess it was a great coincidence that I feel asleep with it that night, because in all the time I had been away from school the coin had not once showed sign of life, and that night, it did.

I blinked a few times and in the soft light from the moon I saw that it was the middle of the night, or many would argue-early morning. Sighing out loud I knew I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep, for I was much too curious about what the message meant, and it was a shame. I remember that that was the first night I had gone without a nightmare; too bad I couldn't have enjoyed it.

Wrapping my bath robe around me tightly to defend myself from the drafty old house, I descended the stairs. I took the coin with me turning it over in my hands feeling my heart start to pound when I began thinking of what this meant. The D.A. was together, obviously, and the coin had fives on it, were they fighting?

Was anyone hurt?

What was the emergency?

I drank some water and sat at the kitchen table trying not to cry. I wished I was with Neville right then; I hated not knowing what was happening. I felt neglected, forgotten, isolated and so alone. The house was eerily silent, while I sat there, and I didn't bother creating light and so the dark was oddly chilling.

If only I had known what was about to happen…

The stairs stared creaking and I jumped in my seat, whispers were growing nearer and I recognized the noises of the twins. I didn't move hoping that if they didn't notice me I would get to hear why they were up at such a ghastly hour.

"The Hog's Head? Are you sure that was what they said?"

"Positive, apparently it's the only way in."

"Should we wake mum and dad?"

"Do you think we should?"

There was a short pause, "They'd probably, you know,"

"Over react," They said together.

"And Ginny?"

"I…don't know." I had never heard my brothers sound so unsure of themselves, or so serious. I could just make out their profiles at the foot of the stairs.

"She'd hate us forever if we don't wake her."

"Yeah…"

"But-"

"We can't."

"She's better off here."

I didn't know what they were talking about, but I was already upset. If they thought what they were going to do was something I'd _hate them forever_ for…then it was big. They knew I could never stay mad at them for long. Fred and George were serious. That's when I started getting scared. I couldn't decide if I wanted to interrupt and demand an explanation of just stay there and try to hear more, but I ended up staying where I was because I was too nervous to do anything else. I wondered if that had anything to do with the D.A.

"Alright. Alright. We'd better get going; Lee is probably waiting for us already."

"Yeah, let's go."

Neither of them moved a muscle.

"This is it isn't it?"

"Maybe…George, whatever happens…"

George finally let out a soft chuckle breaking the mood a bit, "Stop that, Fred. It's not like us, if anyone heard us know our reputation would be ruined."

"I think your reputation should be the least of your worries," I finally said.

They both squealed and whirled around, "GINNY!" said Fred.

"Have you been there this whole time?" asked George with a loud gulp.

"Yes."

"So you heard everything?"

"And by everything we mean...well everything?"

I could see their nervous faces in the dim light. "I definitely heard enough. Where are you two going?"

"Er… no where-"

"Sleep walking-"

"And talking."

"I didn't know you did that. In my 16 years of knowing you two you'd think I would have picked up on it."

"Yes, it's a new habit-"

"Just started a few months ago-"

"Where are you going?" I asked again.

They stared at me for a moment, "It's… top secret information-"

"Need to know basis-"

"Sorry."

I stood from the kitchen table and made my way to look straight at them, make sure they knew I was far from joking. "Sorry stopped working a long time ago. Now tell we what is going on before I get upset."

"Ginny, we can't. Why don't you go back up to bed?"

"What are you doing down here anyway? Nightmares again?"

I rolled my eyes, "Actually not tonight, _tonight_ I'm awake because I've gotten a message from Hogwarts and I haven't the slightest clue as to why, or what it means. _Tonight _I'm awake going insane wondering what is going on outside these bloody walls because I feel I _deserve_ to know. And so you can imagine that when my brothers come down the stairs in the middle of the night whispering suspiciously, the same night I get an emergency message from Neville, I must assume they know something I don't." I lowered my voice dangerously, "So don't try and distract me with talk of nightmares, because it won't work."

Fred then attempted to save face, and regain their usually light and amusing air, "She's a tough one Forge-"

"Those were biting accusations to say the least, Gred."

"Oh how she's grown!"

"Not the same little girl we used to know-"

"More like Mum every day."

"Stop," I snapped. Their grins fell from their faces and any act of humor went with them.

Fred and George looked at each other considering whether or not they would tell me. And I took that chance to really look at my brothers. In the few weeks I had been at Muriel's they had constantly been in and out, leaving early in the mornings and returning late in the evenings, so we were left to only fleeting moments and quick conversations. Before that I was at school and hadn't seen them since the summer, so I hadn't give them a good look over in a very long time.

They were older: their faces, though rather gaunt and shadowed from war, were more refined, hair shorter, and bodies even taller. My brother's were handsome. Oh together they made quite a team, and I loved that they drove me crazy. I loved that you never saw one without the other, and I even loved that any serious circumstance was an opportunity for a joke.

Fred- who I knew was Fred by his more prominent eyebrows- fixed his grey-blue eyes on me, "Well I guess it is true, you do deserve to know-"

"The the golden trio-"

"Have returned to Hogwarts."

My knees gave way and I leaned onto the breakfast table for support. "Wh-what?"

The fact that they were at Hogwarts, I understand you would not realize why that seemed to affect me so. After all they had returned to Shell Cottage. But as I told my mother I knew that they were not going to stay there for long. But we all felt, the D.A., my family and I, that even though we never said it out loud, when Harry, Ron and Hermione returned for good, it would be back at Hogwarts. McGonagall said to me that Hogwarts was not big enough to fight a war.

I think even she knew she was wrong.

"Yes, just heard from our contact at Hogwarts, the trio is back."

"It's time to fight-"

"So we thought we'd go without bothering anyone."

"So now you know-"

"And we'll just be on our way."

They tried to make a break for it, rushing for the door.

"WAIT!" I yelled. We all winced, praying my outbreak did not disturb the rest of the oblivious household.

"Er…what?" George whispered.

"You think you are just going to leave me here? Just like that?"

"Well…"

"Yes," they both replied together.

"Are you out of your minds? Well _more_ so than usual? You are taking me with you; Merlin help me I am not staying here alone!" I stomped my foot.

"Well, then-"

"Since you stomped your foot-"

"We'll have to say,"

"No."

"Please," I begged, "don't leave me here. I've earned the right to be there! I fought at the ministry, I fought at Hogwarts- I fought Voldemort by myself for a whole year for crying out loud! I _need_ to be there when it ends."

The twins were uncomfortable by my direct mention of my first year, "Ginny," Fred sighed, "this time is _much _too dangerous. The stakes are different; they're higher.

"We can't be worried about you Gin."

I flinched in reaction to the use of the name, "Don't call me Gin."

The twins smiled, "Sorry we forgot-"

"Only Harry can call you Gin."

"_Harry _would agree that I should be there," I said not sure if I believed it myself. "Don't you know what I can do? Haven't you _all _seen enough? I am perfectly capable of handling this! After all I've done and been through, what more must I do to prove myself?"

At this the twins seemed at a loss for words, and oh what a sight to see that was!

I, Ginny Weasley, managed to render the Weasley twins speechless. It was an honor.

Fred cleared his throat, "Well…I…"

"We, um…"

"Mum would kill us…"

"And since when has that ever stopped you?" I asked with a sad smile, "Since you picked up the habit of sleep walking?"

I wasn't really mad anymore, I was tired and at my wit's end. I need them to understand, how could I stay behind while my family fought a war I'd been fighting since I was eleven? I wanted to see Harry. I wanted to see him so badly it hurt, after my constant nightmares and feeling him so close to me when I woke up…after almost getting to him at Shell Cottage…I just wanted to see him. To reassure myself that he was still real. It was like chasing a myth.

"She has a point, Fred."

"And it's a good one too George."

I felt a little more hopeful, "Well?"

"Alright-"

"Let's go."

I ran up the stairs to change my clothes, knowing that I could trust my brothers to wait for me. I looked into the mirror as I left, and I stopped to fix my waist length hair from its bed-head state. I suddenly remembered the time I ran down the stairs with my hair a sleepy mess and wearing my night gown to find Harry in the kitchen. That was the morning after I heard my brothers leave in the middle of the night because they refused to let me go with them; partly my fault, for I didn't not fight them enough. It was rather ironic, the situation at the present.

Because this time, I wasn't making the same mistakes.

I held onto my brother's arm as they rushed me outside and past the house wards, in seconds I was being side-apparated into the ratted old Hog's Head pub. We met Lee Jordan and were told by the old barman that he had the only passage into the school that wasn't blocked, or known. One that lead straight into the Room of Requirement. I got the odd feeling that I knew the man from somewhere…but I didn't have time to contemplate anything.

My heart was beating again, just as it had at Bill's home, just as it was when I was close to seeing my brother, best friend and of course Harry again.

When we stepped out of the portrait and in the Room of Requirement I could see that there were already many people in attendance. I was watching my feet to make sure I wouldn't trip, and when I looked up I was caught completely off guard. I wasn't expecting such an amount of familiar faces blinking at me, faces I haven't seen in at least a full year.

But most of all, the man standing in the center of the room, the man it seemed everyone was facing before they turned their heads. He was tall and seemed extremely sunken, he had long dark hair, pale complexion and an awed expression. The man standing there was staring directly at me, his awe; the wonder of his face was in reaction to _me_. His shocking green eyes pierced mine.

The man was Harry.

Harry Potter.


	23. A Bloody Midnight Game

_Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows_

**Entry 22: A Bloody Midnight Game**

_"It's the moment of truth and the moment to lie__  
><em>_The moment to live and the moment to die__  
><em>_The moment to fight, the moment to fight__  
><em>_To fight, to fight, to fight..."__  
><em>_-This is War 30 Seconds to Mars_

Harry potter was standing right before me.

The idea was as ridiculous as the fact that his eyes flashed with emotion when he met mine.

There was shock for sure, and a bit of - dare I say it-admiration and awe, but then it changed to an ever present sense of regret and fright.

I didn't care. I guess I should have, I should have given him a cold shoulder, a glare- something foreboding- but instead I smiled. Not like I didn't see that one coming. How could I not be happy to see that all my worrying was in vain, for the object of my anxiety was safe and sound- though rather unkempt and underfed- and ultimately alive and in one piece in the same room as me?

He swiftly looked away and I realized that only one moment had passed since I saw him first.

Suddenly the game shifted once again when Cho Chang entered the room right after us.

She smiled at Harry too; that I _definitely_ remember.

She unfortunately sat herself beside my old boyfriend Michael Corner before I had the chance to whip out my wand. It was strange how something as silly as Cho Chang distracted me from the actual reason I was there in the first place.

We were at war.

"So what's the plan Harry?" asked George throwing me back into the harsh reality of what was happening.

"There isn't one," Harry replied, with a deeper and much more raspy voice than I remembered. His reply, however, didn't startle me, Harry never really had a plan to begin with- we kind of usually winged it.

_"Just going to make things up as we go along, are we? My favorite kind,"_ said Fred, voicing my thoughts.

"You've got to stop this!" Harry abruptly yelled at Neville, "What did you call them all back for? This is insane-"

Everyone stared at Harry with confusion written across their faces, I myself was wondering why Harry was questioning Neville's motives.

"We're fighting aren't we?" asked Dean, who was standing beside Luna.

Harry face said all we needed to know. Harry Potter was not at Hogwarts to fight. Harry Potter had not returned for the sake of returning and ending the war.

My dear brother Ron- who was just as scruffy as his best mate- turned to Harry, "Why can't they help?"

"What?"

"They can help."

It was a reoccurring theme. The acceptance of help, it seemed that though they weren't here to intentionally fight, they had returned for a purpose. This purpose was obviously critical if Harry risked coming back to the castle, and challenging if Ron decided that someone out of the trio could help them.

The three began whispering, and I just stared. My best friend Hermione, who had grown even more beautiful in the past nine months, seemed a bit worse for wear, bags under her eyes and her skin was pale with blotches of red I took to be welts.

As I looked closer I found that Ron and Harry had them as well. I gulped.

There was no doubt in my mind that why they were at Hogwarts had to do with the God-forsaken Horcruxes. It proved that there was more than one, that they were still looking. Perhaps it meant that there was one hidden within the walls of the school...?

Fred and George were socializing while I watch Harry fall into resignation. "Alright everyone!" he called silencing the room. "There is something we need to find... something- something that will help up overthrow You-Know-Who."

I closed my eyes feeling the pride of knowing something for once. I had done it all by myself. I was finally one step ahead. "It's here at Hogwarts," Harry continued, proving yet another one of my suspicions, "but we don't know where. It might have belonged to Ravenclaw. Has anyone heard of an object like that?"

No one seemed to have an answer. The room of familiar faces was silent, until Luna, who had perched herself on my armchair, solved the last piece of the puzzle (or well I would find that out later).

"Well, there's her lost diadem. I told you about it, remember, Harry? The lost diadem of Ravenclaw? Daddy's trying to duplicate it."

Michael Corner, the git, retorted in a snarky tone, "Yeah, but the lost diadem is LOST, Luna. That's sort of the point."

Everyone began discussing what that diadem was and how it looked like before our first step was planned.

Cho Chang offered to show Harry what it looked like by taking him to the Ravenclaw tower where the diadem was carved in stone into the house statue.

The idea of Cho taking Harry did not sit well with me. _At all to be in fact_. I looked over to her and wondered why I suddenly began to feel threatened by her again. During the last Quidditch match of the previous year I had pitied her. And then a year later I was back to twitching in her presence.

I now figure that perhaps it was due to the fact that at that moment, sitting in the room of requirement, I had no idea where Harry and I stood, whereas the year before I was certain Harry felt strongly for me and was just waiting for him to make his move.

When Cho got to her feet, I reacted the way any other jealous teenager would, "No, Luna will take Harry, won't you, Luna?"

"Oooh yes, I'd like to," she replied happily as I contentedly watched Cho grumpily settled back in her seat.

The moment Luna left with Harry, and his invisibility cloak I assume, I jumped from my chair and threw myself into Ron's arms.

"Ginny!" he cried enthusiastically, wrapped his arms around me a twirling me a bit.

"I've missed you!" I trilled, squeezing tight onto my prodigal brother.

"I'm so glad you're safe," he said releasing me from our embrace, "although I have heard some interesting stories about what you've been up to over here."

Hermione nodded, "Care to explain?" she asked in a playful voice.

I laughed and pulled her into a hug as well, "It's a story for another day," I replied, "I'm so glad you are all here! Are you alright? Where have you been? Are you back to stay?"

"Ginny! Whoa slow down," said Ron, turning to Hermione for what I assume was reassurance, "We are doing as fine as we can be under the circumstances. But no, we don't believe we are here to stay, I really wish I could tell you more Ginny, honest, but we just... can't."

I looked down and took a breath; at the very least they were alright. "Ok. That's fine. I understand."

Ron looked at me curiously, "I expected you to argue with me."

"It's been a long year Ron; I have to save up my fighting strength when I can. We have bigger things to worry about I suppose."

"You... What did they... Where-" Ron was searching for the right way to phrase the questions he in turn wanted to ask me.

"What Ron means to ask, Ginny, is why Neville called you all here and how everyone managed to get here so quickly. It's almost as though you were all expecting this, as though you've been waiting for it."

I smiled at Hermione, "Why wouldn't we have been, Hermione? We've been ready to fight all year, and you know us, we are ready to back Harry at any moment he may need."

She looked around, "This is incredible..."

Ron and I followed her gaze to the surrounding horde of people still coming through the portrait, Angeline Johnson, Katie Bell and Oliver Wood appeared inside the room. It was a beautiful sight to see; all the people of the past and present gearing up to fight together.

"We have you to thank of course, if it weren't for those coins... We would not have been able to accomplish anything this year, like re-starting the D.A. And setting up this hide out," said a voice from behind me.

"I'm glad I could help, even if I technically wasn't here," replied Hermione, blushing a rosy shade of pink.

I almost cried at the sight of Neville. He had a new scar on his jaw line and a black eye that had not been there when I left at Easter but it was just so wonderful to see him. "Neville!"

He laughed and hugged me, "You have no idea how thankful I am to see you Ginny. I've been almost out of my mind here without you and Luna."

"But you managed Neville, this place... You did it. Thank you. Thank you for listening to me."

"How could I not, you are the master mind behind all this."

"Ginny?" asked Ron with surprise in his voice.

"Thanks for having such confidence in me, dear brother," I said wryly.

Hermione laughed, "He's proud of you all the same I'm sure, _right Ronald_?"

"Well yeah! It's just, I keep forgetting that you aren't a little girl anymore," he admitted.

"Ron, you'd do well to remember that. Trust me."

"Ginny can I talk to you for a minute?" asked Neville.

"Yes of course, I'll be right back," I told my brother.

Neville took me aside a few feet, but the room was already so crowded that we had to weave our way around a group of past Gryffindor graduates.

"What is it Neville?" I asked once we were out of earshot as best as we could be.

Neville glanced around anxiously before taking a breath and answering. This action immediately put a nervous knot in my stomach.

"The Carrows began scouting the building just a short while before Harry arrived at the Hogs Head. I have a feeling Harry, Ron and Hermione might have triggered the alarm inside Hogsmeade."

I waited for him to continue, but he didn't.

"What does that mean exactly, they made it inside the castle without a problem didn't they?"

"Well, yes, but that doesn't mean the Carrows and Snape don't already know they are here."

"You mean-"

"Yeah, I was on guard when I heard them saying something about a trespasser and hoping it would be Potter. That's why I went to find out who it was. And I found Harry, Ron and Hermione."

I gulped.

"Oh Merlin, that means they know the three of them are here!"

"Wait, there's more."

Neville took a step closer and I wondered how it could possibly get worse. "They mentioned orders about patrolling the Ravenclaw Tower."

"WHAT?"

"I don't know how they knew Harry would need to go there, but they do. And I think that's where they are now."

"But, but- orders you said they had orders! Who would have given them? Snape?"

"Snape hasn't really been seen since you left Ginny."

"So?"

"So, I don't think the order came from him, Snape hasn't bossed those two around since our failed mutiny."

"Then who Neville?" I asked already afraid if the answer I knew was coming.

"You-Know-Who."

"No," I said refusing to believe the idea, "It's just a fluke, Voldemort here? Now?

You heard Harry he had no intentions of fighting tonight, even if it was just for the school, you think that Voldemort already knows he's here? We haven't even had time to organize ourselves!"

"Ginny it's the only explanation that makes sense!"

I looked away into the massive crowd. They all said they were prepared and they all looked ready to fight tooth and nail. But looks could be deceiving couldn't they?

"But... Then if the Carrows are guarding the Ravenclaw Tower how could you let Harry and Luna just go off like that Neville? They are walking right into a trap!"

Neville grimaced in regret, "I tried to get him aside to warn him before he disappeared but I couldn't. I didn't say anything aloud because I didn't want to alarm anyone."

"Alarm anyone? Neville this is war for goodness sakes! Everyone should be on their toes!"

"I'm sorry ok? I messed up."

"What are we going to do?"

"I don't know, I have to stay here and keep the portal open, and I'm not letting you go anywhere, so don't even think it!"

I glared at the boy-who-grew-a-backbone. He of all people wasn't about to start deciding what I could and could not do.

"I can handle it thank you very much."

"Yes, and so can Harry, they have that cloak right? I'm sure he'll be able to manage," said Neville in an attempt to patronize me, but in fact I don't think he even believed it himself.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw my mother and father, as well as Lupin and Kingsley enter the Room of Requirement. It was too late for me to do anything, for I knew that the moment I was seen by my mother any chance of me fighting would be long gone.

"Is there any way you can get a message to McGonagall? You don't have to tell her what's happening, just give her a reason to pass by the tower," I said quickly, turning away from the entrance and trying to blend in.

"I could try but I don't see how that would do anything-"

"If she comes across Harry in trouble, that woman will move heaven and earth to help him."

"Right, I'll see what I can do," he replied and began to retreat, when he added one last thing, "Oh and Ginny?"

"Yes?"

"Welcome back."

Avoiding my mother's seeking gaze I dodged my way back to my brother and Hermione, hoping that though Ron would probably agree with my mother, he would take pity and help me hide from her wrath.

When I reached him, however, he was whispering urgently to Hermione. Usually I wouldn't have found this in any way out of the ordinary, if I hadn't heard the word Horcrux from my brother's voice.

"Ginny!" cried a guilty looking Hermione who had just spotted me.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing I was just telling Ron that we- that I-"

"We have to go somewhere, but we'll be right back," finished Ron.

"Alright, let me come with you, mum is going to go spare if she sees me."

Ron and Hermione's eyes widened in horror, "NO! No, you need to stay here and... and-"

"Help Neville."

I looked them curiously, did they really think I was that daft? And so I tried again, "Neville has everything under control. I can help you guys."

"Ginny, no. We have to go- and you better stay here!"

"What is it with everyone trying to trap me in here?" I groaned in frustration as they made their way toward the door, "At least tell me where your going, like you failed to _nine months ago!"_  
>"Prefect's Bathroom on the third floor!" called Ron over his shoulder.<p>

I wasn't sure what surprised me more, the fact that they were headed to the bathroom or the fact that they were headed there holding hands

"This isn't the time for a bloody bathroom break! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON?"

"GINEVRA MOLLY!"

If there was ever a moment to resent my temper it was right then.  
>The sight of a thundering Molly Weasley pushing through a crowd of qualified witches and wizards was not a humorous one. I knew I was in for it.<p>

"Do you have any idea what it is like to be awoken by an urgent Order message, and find that all of your children are mysteriously missing from their beds?" she practically growled when she reached me.

"I-"

"No! There is nothing you can say to justify leaving without warning, no note, and coming here endangering, yourself! How could you be so _foolish_ to risk everything coming back?"

"Mum I-"

"Don't you Mum me, young lady! I don't want to hear anything but the sound of your feet scurrying back through that portrait _this_ _instant_!"  
>I stared at my mother, noting the tiredness in her eyes, "I'm not going anywhere.<p>

She narrowed her eyes, "Oh, yes you are!"

"I'm sorry Molly," came the anxious voice of Remus Lupin, interrupting my mother's oncoming tirade, "But I was wondering if Ginny had seen Harry, do you know where he is Ginny?" his dark eyes kept flitting around the room searching for Harry I assume.

"He went with Luna to the Ravenclaw Tower," saying the information twisted the knot in my stomach for many reasons: for one, I had actually answered the question 'where's Harry?' with confidence, and for another, I knew that Harry was waltzing with trouble in the Ravenclaw Tower because Voldemort knew he was there, and had sent the Carrows to find him.

"The Ravenclaw Tower? What for?"

"He was... er... looking for something."

"Looking for what?"

"The Diadem of Rowena Ravenclaw..." I said aloofly.  
>"<em>The Diadem of Ravenclaw<em>?" asked my bewildered mother, "Why, that's been missing for centuries! You mean to tell me that young man has come all the way here to search to something that he has no chance in finding?"

"Well mum-"

"What is it with you children not giving a second thought to life threatening choices?"

"We are _not_ children!"

"Do you have any idea when he'll be back Ginny? I don't think I like the idea of him running around the castle and I really have to talk to him," urged Lupin.  
>If only he knew.<br>"No, Professor, I have no clue. I'm sorry."

"That boy, always thinking he can handle everything on his own. It's an admirable trait but I do wish he would care for himself a bit more," sighed my mother.

Remus smiled sadly, "Always puts others before himself, that one; he's going to be a great godfather."

"Oh yes! Have you told him the news? A beautiful little boy that Teddy is!"

Teddy Lupin, the son of Remus and Tonks was only weeks old. They immediately appointed Harry as godfather, and my family and I were delighted by the news. They couldn't have picked anyone more fitting, really.

"Yes, I told him when he was at Shell Cottage just a bit ago, he accepted, of course."

"And Nymphadora? How is she feeling? I haven't been able to contact dear Andromeda since before the birth..."

I slowly began stepping away as my mother was clearly distracted with talk of the newest member to our unconventional extended family.

Scanning the room I was surprised to see Avery and Anamille Smite entering the headquarters; I suppose they had left the school at some point after I did. I watched Fred and George speak with Bill and Fleur, Cho converse with Michael Corner and Marietta Edgecombe, and Lee Jordan joke with Alicia Spinnet as I tried to come up with a plan to sneak away to find Harry and warn him of what was happening. But in a room full of familiar faces, sneaking away unnoticed was impossible without an invisibility cloak, and since Harry had the only one available...

"Ginny!" cried Colin Creevey as he pulled me into an embrace that rivaled one from Hagrid.

"Colin! I've missed you so much!" I replied, returning the hug.

"Did you miss us too?" asked Seamus with a sad grin on his face, behind him was Lavender Brown, Dean Thomas and the Patil twins.

"Of course!" I said solemnly, taking a moment to greet each one of my friends.

"So do you know what's going on here?" asked Lavender.

"Yeah, ever since Harry, Ron and Hermione got here no one knows if there is even going to be a fight at all tonight!" added Dean.

Oh, there would be a fight alright, if what Neville suspected was true. "I'm not sure guys; so much is happening all so fast I'm not even sure where I stand in all this madness."  
>"It definitely is madness, you're right about that," said Finnigan.<p>

"But can't you feel it though?"

Everyone turned to Colin, "Feel what?"

"Something big is going to happen tonight, I can feel it in the air."

Seamus shook his head, "Always the poetic one, eh Creevey?"

"I think he has a point though," commented Padma Patil, "the hairs on the back of my neck have been standing up all night."

"Mine too," agreed her twin.

If I had to admit, ever since I had woken up I had an odd sensation in the pit of my stomach, talking to Colin it was nearly eleven and the sensation had not mellowed one bit.

The rest of the time I spent in the Room of Requirement before Harry returned passed in a blur of people and voices, greetings and several instances in which I had to insist that I knew nothing of the current situation.

"Ginevra! Don't think I'm just going to forget about you! I want you back at Muriel's this minute!" mum said when she found me again.

"No-"

But I wasn't able to finish the thought because suddenly the room went still as Harry Potter re-entered the room. The knot in my stomach eased a bit knowing that he was ok for the moment at least.

"Harry, what's going on?" asked Lupin who had met him at the doorway.

And then Harry settled Neville's theory, _"Voldemort's coming," _he informed us, also mentioning the fact that Snape had run away like the coward he was and extreme measures were being taken to protect the school.

I caught Neville's eye across the room, I had never seen anyone so remorseful about being right.

"They are evacuating the younger kids and everyone's meeting in the Great Hall to get organized," Harry said. "We're fighting."

All of a sudden the entire crowd jumped up in excitement and began rushing for the door. Harry backed up into the wall as members of the D.A. and the Order, as well as old alumni clambered past him.

"Let's go Ginny," said an excited Colin.

I tried my best to blend in with the crowd, but unfortunately a hand grabbed my wrist and yanked me out of the fray.

"And just _where_ do you think you are going young lady?"

"To the Great Hall," I replied evenly.  
>"Oh, <em>no<em> you're not!"

"Oh, _yes_ I am!"

"You're not of age!" she shouted, "I won't allow it! The boys yes, but you've got to go home!" she continued, as I saw Harry approach us from the corner of my eye. The only people left in the room, were the twins, Bill, Fleur and Remus.  
>"No!" I refused again, this time pulled my arm from her iron grip. Why was it always a double standard with her? "I'm a part of Dumbledore's Army-"<p>

This, obviously, didn't convince her, she scoffed and down played Dumbledore's Army for a children's club.

Fred thankfully said something before I lost my top, "And we _children_ are about to go against You-Know-Who, something most adults would squeal at the thought of!"  
>"She's only sixteen! Much too young for this! Obvisouly you two do not have her best interests in mind, bringing her here and endangering her life! You two never think!" As expected she immediately blamed my brother's as if it were there fault, not once would she think I was there on my own accord.<br>Fred and George only looked slightly ashamed, I'm sure they would have agreed with me had I said there was no way they could have stopped me, even if they did refuse to have me join them. They knew I would have made it there _somehow_.  
>"I have to be here!" shouted annoyed at the fact that tears of anger were forming in my eyes, "My entire family is here, all my friends, how would you like it if you were sent away, not knowing-"<p>

Harry. I knew he must understand, he hated being kept out of things, he hated being left behind in the heat of battle for a cause he was passionate about. Harry must have understood that I couldn't just leave! I knew he would stick up for me, because if he really cared for me- if he ever truly cared and or understood who I was, what I believed in and that all I ever wanted was to be treated evenly like a capable witch, then he would stick up for me.  
>So I turned to meet his eyes. The color was strong like he was, and I wonder how his aunt could have ever been so cruel to him, for those eyes on a young child could have only made any woman with a heart melt. Good luck to any future mother of children with eyes like those.<p>

I was expecting an encouraging response, but Harry Potter only shook his head.

That moment, that precise look was more heart breaking than anything else I had ever experienced. Harry did not want me fighting beside him; I was _still _the little girl he needed to save from Tom Riddle, the girl who couldn't protect herself. The girl who was too young to go to the Ministry. He didn't care that by siding with my mother he turned away from me and everything I thought he felt for me. Whatever last strand of hope I had for our future together was shattered.

He had not thought to contact me in nine months because he did not want to. Not because he was busy, but because I didn't matter. I might have been a nice escape, as he said, being with me was like living someone else's life, but when it came to reality I was nothing more than a young girl who shouldn't have anything to do with this war and helping him fight it.

He didn't _need_ me.  
>And it hurt more than anything.<p>

I turned away bitterly knowing that my fight was lost. I was upset at Harry, but mostly upset at myself. "Alright," I said, "I'll say good-bye now, but-"

And then the game shifted again.

A noise came from behind me as the occupants remaining in the Room of Requirement turned to face the portrait hole. My brother Percy stumbled in like a fire whiz-bang.

"Am I late? I just heard, I got here as fast as I could! What have I missed?"  
>So much was happening, I was under so much emotional strain already, and so when my git of a brother waltzed back into my life with his glasses skewed and his robes disheveled, I could only stare blankly.<p>

Fred and George, my mother, my father, Bill and I were silently shocked to see him return at the most unexpected time. I didn't even hear what Fleur was saying to Lupin to break the tension.

"I'm a fool!" cried Percy, his blue eyes full of emotion. He was skinnier than I had ever seen him; his hair was frizzy and wild, unlike how he usually tamed it for a more professional look. "I know I was an idiot, I was wrong!"

"Ministry –worshiping, family-betraying, power-obsessed arehole," said Fred.

Percy heartily agreed.

"Well, I can agree with that," smiled Fred holding out his hand. My mother burst into tears and my father welcomed his son as well. I stood watch for moment with a thousand thoughts speeding past my head.

Percy explained his reasoning, his epiphany had been coming for a while and he knew the ministry was corrupt but didn't want to admit it. But I really didn't want to hear it. It was going to take a little more than that for him to gain my forgiveness. He turned away from us, helped turn in the D.A., went against Harry, it was too much that one simple, _"I was an idiot"_ could fix.

I realized it was my one and only perfect chance to sneak out and join the rest downstairs.

But just as Percy was greeting his new sister-in-law _and_ I was almost out the door my mother spotted me.

"Ginevra!"

"Molly, why can't Ginny can stay here," Lupin suggested, "then at least she'll be on the scene and keep up with what's going on, but she won't be involved with the fighting?"

I didn't like the idea much, let me tell you. I was being locked away like a damsel in distress. That, I assure you, I was _not_. But it was better than not being in the castle at all and there was also a slight chance that I would be able to get into _some_ action.

With uncertain agreement, and many fervent warning from my parents. The plan of what to do with me was set. I nodded reluctantly.

"Where did Ron and Hermione go?" Harry asked as my parents and Lupin exited the room.

"They went to the bathroom," I replied not looking at him. I went and sat in the arm chair I had been seated in before and closed my eyes. A war was going on down stairs and I was trapped in a hide-out camp. Not to mention I was alone in a room with one Harry Potter and I just wanted to be as far from him as possible.

Of course, that was only somewhat true.

"_They went to the bathroom-?"_ came his curious voice, and I looked over to the corner of the room where he was standing. His eyes were open and glazed over; I knew it meant he was seeing something other than the room in front of him. I stood up because no matter how upset I was with him, he was in trouble.

"Harry?" I asked softly.

Suddenly he shook his head clear and swallowed loudly.

He looked at me with a scared gaze.

"Are you okay?"

"No… I'm not," He took a breath and looked away, "I'm…I'm scared."

I was stunned. His admission was the furthest thing I could have ever imagined. Why would he tell me such a thing, Harry never…he…to no one… we never showed fear if he could help it.

"Me too," I whispered, startling even myself.

Dumbledore was right then he said I never liked to show weakness.

He nodded and rushed toward the door. "Gin?" he asked as he grabbed the handle.

"Yes?"

"It's good to see you," he said without turning around.

"Go save the world already, Potter."

And he was gone.

I did some pacing. Correction, I did _a lot_ of pacing. I was worried about what was happening right below my feet…outside the walls… what was my family doing? But most of all, the ever present conundrum that is Harry Potter was bouncing around inside my mind. _He_ _was glad to see me_. I know he meant it because he would never intentionally try to mess with my head. I assumed it was because I reminded him of better times. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, if he wasn't consistent in keeping me apart from anything involving the war.

He wouldn't tell me of the prophecy, nor of the horcruxes, (I had to figure them out myself) but he told me what he was thinking; he told me his craziest dreams. Was that enough? _Should_ that be enough? Not for me.

And yet I knew that_ Harry_ was enough for me, and good outcome or not it was good to see him again too.

And no matter what was going to happen that night I didn't regret one moment, from my elbow in the butter dish to the kiss in my bedroom.

"Ginny?"

I pivoted in my spot and came face to face with a pink haired Tonks.

"Tonks!"

"What are you doing in here all by your spunky self?" she asked pulling me into a fierce hug that I returned with the same enthusiasm.

"What do you think? I've been locked away in the tower like a hopeless damsel in distress."

"Story of your life, eh?"

"Unfortunately."

"Alright, so down to business-"

"Great Hall. The organization has begun, your husband left with my parents about twenty minutes ago."

"Right."

"But, Tonks what are you even doing here? I thought you were at home with the baby."

"I know I was, it's just I couldn't just sit there and miss all the action, you know? I wanted to be here. I tried, honestly, but I couldn't stand not knowing."

I stared at my friend; she knew precisely how I felt.  
>"So what did you do?"<p>

"I left Teddy with my mother and came here as quickly as I could."

"You're my idol."

"You'll get your time kid," she winked, "I promise."

"I hope you're right-"

And then the game changed again.

A cold, deadly voice rang out. It broke through the walls, it shook the ceiling, it trembled in the air… it sent shivers down my spine and bile up my throat.

"Do not think that I am oblivious to what you are doing, I am quite aware of your worthless army. I will give you a warning now, there is no point in fighting against me, you will lose. I do not wish to kill innocent life."

"Was that…?" whispered Tonks.

"Tom," I breathed.

"If you only release Harry Potter to me I will be merciful," Lord Voldemort's voice spoke. "Give me Harry Potter by midnight and I will go. Don't be foolish."

There was an impeccable silence. The castle stood still attempting to process the reality that Voldemort was right outside our sanctuary, our home. He had arrived and he was ready to kill. I'm not sure how long we stood there, Tonks and I. She a capable Auror, and I, who had seen horrors, were both paralyzed by just the voice of the one who called himself the Dark Lord. He no longer sounded anything like Tom Riddle.

"_What in Merlin's hat was that_?" screeched an elderly voice, Tonks and I snapped our necks to the portrait, surprised to encounter a short, thin woman with white hair peeping out of an old withered hat. She carried a rather large red handbag and had a pinched expression on her face. I knew exactly who she was.

"That, Mrs. Longbottom, was Lord Voldemort," I stated as calmly as I could.

"Ah, I see. And you are?"

"I'm Ginny Weasley,"

"Ah, yes, of course, I should have noticed. My grandson has spoken greatly about you. Harry Potter's girl, aren't you?"

I blushed, "Well actually-"

"No matter, this is hardly the time for socializing."

"_Harry's_ girl? What?" Tonks gasped looking straight at me, "I can't believe you never told me!"

"Why! What audacity! We are in the middle of war here young lady; I trust you can act accordingly?"

The castle really trembled then and the sound of an explosion resonated in our ears.

Any amusement fell from Tonks' face and it became white as a sheet.

"So it's begun. Well, let's get on with it."

"Remus…"

"I can't just sit here alone, I can't do it!"

Before the words even let my mouth, Harry, Ron and Hermione blasted through the door.

Neville's grandmother was quick on the uptake, and asked for an update without missing a beat.

The first order of business for Tonk and I, however, was to make sure everyone was fine.  
>And as far as Harry knew, they were, only, it was still too early to take any comfort in that.<p>

The next thing I knew Augusta Longbottom was marching proudly out of the room on her way to assist her grandson.

My stomach twisted as she left; assisting Neville in a fight was _my_ job.  
>When I turned my attention back to the situation at hand, Tonks was leaving the room and Harry was speaking to me, "Sorry, Ginny, but we need you to leave." My eyes sparkled with interest, "But you can come back as soon as we are done."<br>Would you blame me if I said I ignore the last half of his comment.  
>Didn't think so.<br>I took my opening and bolted, of course hearing Harry's last, "_You've have to come back!" _behind me as I fled.

I didn't get very far.

The castle was already in severe condition. I could see walls crumbling and there was enough noise to blow out ear drums. People were running to and from places, and I hadn't the first idea as to where I should go to help.

That is, until I spotted Tonks to my right firing spells out a window that was missing its panes. I ran to her side and looked out into the night.

The scene was right out of a nightmare. The night had no stars, not one single cloud- unless it was a cloud of smoke. Fires had started, and death eaters were playing on the grounds. Centaurs and giants even, thrashing around and out for blood. Flashes of light and color filled the air, and in the two seconds it took for me to get my wand out I watched two people fall.  
>"<em>Reducto<em>!" I cried hitting a death eater below straight in the back.  
>Someone behind me rewarded me with a compliment but I didn't turn around to see who, I just continued firing.<p>

Tonks asked whoever it was behind us, if he had seen Remus and was not awarded with an encouraging response.  
>I knocked out another cloaked figure before I turned o a still-pale Tonks. I made an empty attempt at trying to console her, but she ran off in the dust, leaving me alone in the chaos.<br>I turned around and saw the trio yet again.

"Please be safe," Harry told me, "_Please_," looking into his eyes, I saw the same Harry from under the trees by the lake. And then, just as quickly as I saw him, he was gone once more.  
>I wouldn't see Harry again until the end.<p>

If you were to ask me now for a full play by play of the final battle, I'm sorry, but it will not be the detailed story I'm sure you were anticipating. It's taken years for me to get past it all; everything went so fast, it's only a blur of color and pain. For your benefit I will retell several scenes that I can remember, because if you are still with me now, then you deserve to know.

But that is the best I can do.

"Ginny, what are you doing here?" Remus yelled, ducking behind a suit of armor as a bolt of red missed his head by centimeters.

"_Stupefy!" _I yelled at the rouge death eater, succeeding in blasting him down the corridor.

Remus blinked at me, "Er…thanks…"

I smiled, "No problem."

Professor Lupin was covered in a film of dust and had a gruesome gash on the side of his head that was dripping blood onto his tattered robes. I, myself had been running through the castle hoping to find Neville and the rest of the D.A. but I had yet to come across anyone near my age. We were standing in the middle of a corridor on the first floor, and every few seconds a new blast hit the walls.  
>"Have you seen Tonks?"<p>

"Not since we left the Room of Requirement," I replied, "she ran off looking for you."

He groaned, "So she _is_ here."

"Does that really surprise you?"

"I guess not."

I nodded, "Well then, see you around," I said taking off down the passage.  
>Remus, however, had another idea. He grabbed me by my wrist in an attempt to stop me, "Just where do you think you're going?"<p>

"I'm on my way to find Neville, actually. I believe he has some unfinished business with Bellatrix I assume I'll find him when I find her."  
>"Oh, you <em>must <em>be joking, it's back up to the Room of Requirement for you."

I pulled away, "NO! I'm fighting. I just showed you I can hold my own. If it weren't for me you'd- never mind, just let me go."

"No you are too young, too valuable; they will grab you so quick you won't have time to defend yourself-"

"Save it, Professor, we don't have time for this!"

Without giving him the chance to respond, I sped away into the dust. _"GINNY!" _  
>Then I was hit by a random stunner aimed at a senior Auror, casted by a burly dark wizard as I passed them. It hit straight and swift at my side, blew my off my course and threw me against the wall.<br>The pain was staggering, but the awful part was overcoming it to get up and keep going before something worse happened. Cursing myself for my oblivious stupidity, I pulled up from the ground, the ache in my side taking all the breath out of my body.

"Ha! Caught myself a little treat!" taunted the death eater as he finished off the Auror with another flash of green. I recognized the man laying there with open unseeing eyes; he was in the battle of Hogwarts the year prior. My breathing turned shallow.

I looked up into the man towering over me; he smiled and raised his wand at the same time that I reached for mine which had slipped from my grasp with my body collided with the stone wall.

Tonks showed up before he could take another step, and she tossed him across the hall. We heard the distinctive crack of a skull, and he fell into a wrangled heap. She took my hand and hurled me up and pulled me along. She didn't tell me to go back, nor scolded me for my reckless crusade.

"I still haven't seen Remus, have you?"

I looked at her with sympathy, "I actually just left him; he was looking for you."

She took a breath and nodded.

Tonks and I continued to watch each other's backs and we fought as an impressive pair.  
>At one point we came across the Carrows. I'm not sure if it was fate giving me my chance at personal revenge or just plain, ironic justice, but I wouldn't have had it unravel any other way. With our backs pressed together, I dueled Alecto and she, Amycus.<p>

"I was wondering where you were, Weasley," cried an exasperated Amycus from over Tonk's shoulder. "I knew you wouldn't miss out on the fun!"

"Duck!" urged Tonks and we both dropped into a crouch instantly, watching the curse fly above our heads and hurtle into the surprised chest of Alecto. She fell to the ground with the same shocked expression that Sirius had. As Amycus took a second to comprehend what he had just done, Tonks only took half of it to send him off with his sister.

I undoubtedly remember spitting on his body and we moved on.

Not long had passed after the death of the Carrows when Percy found me.  
>When the game was changed forever.<br>He was the one who told me.  
>Percy, with singed robes and who smelled of burst hair and ashes.<br>Percy, who I hadn't seen for months before his dramatic return to our family.

Percy, who didn't know me at all.  
>Percy was the one who asked Tonks to cover us, as he pulled me aside.<p>

Perfect Pompous Percy was the one who cried in anger as he told me that Fred was dead. Murdered by an explosion caused by a man named Rookwood, whom Percy said he had just left unconscious and broken in a corner of the school.

Percy, who hadn't shown one bit of emotion for my family in years, was the one who told me that my own brother's body was lying limp in the Great Hall.

"NO!" I screamed taking a step away, "How _dare_ you? Are you even sure it was Fred? Can you be sure you recognized him correctly, I mean you haven't seen him in how long Percy?"

"Ginny…please," he croaked.  
>Tears were running down my face and the world was swirling around me. I felt dizzy and…and…<p>

What did he mean one of _my _brothers was dead? How could he look me in the eye and tell me Fred was gone? FRED COULD NOT BE GONE.  
>It just couldn't be true.<p>

But when I looked up again, Tonks had silent tears down her face, and Percy resembled a corpse of a man.

"Ginny-"

"NO!"

Percy grabbed me urgently by the shoulders. "Listen to me," he said shaking me once, "We can't lose you too, please go, please go back-"

"I'm not going anywhere," I murmured, "_Especially_ now."

"Ginevra-"

"Percy you never cared to know me and you certainly cannot act like you do now."

I sprinted past him, past Tonks, to reach the corridor Percy claimed he and several others watched Fred die.

Fred, _Fred_, he couldn't be gone, he…he was always cracking jokes, he never went anywhere without a smile, how could he be gone?  
>Where was any justice in that! How was that even possible? What had he ever done to deserve his life being cut short? My heart was hurting in ways that had only ever been described to me in stories and books. It was like an unknown force squeezing my chest until there was no breath left in my body.<p>

"_Ginny_!" yelled Tonks who had taken off after me. I was pulled to a stop and suddenly she occupied my full line of vision, "Ginny- Fred is gone. We have to keep moving; he would have wanted you to keep yourself safe-"

"How would _you _know what he would have wanted? No one knew him like George and I did! Like we _do!_" My eyes felt like they were on fire, and my throat was clogged and dry.

"We need to fight or hide, Ginny, and knowing you, you want to fight until the last areshole falls _dead._ We will avenge your brother but you must keep your head. That is the first rule of combat," she said wiping her last stray tears. "Listen to me, pull yourself together right now and we'll keep going, if you don't then I am going to haul you back up to the Room of Requirement, and you _know_ I'm the only one who could be successful at that."

Shaking with rage and grief, I reluctantly nodded.

"You remind me a lot of myself you know. Just remember, no matter what, keep your head up. Don't let them have the satisfaction. It's the best revenge and the best way to stay happy, to keep on fighting and give them hell."

We ran off again, leaving Percy far behind.

"_Impedimenta!"_

_ "Confringio!"_

"By the way Ginny," Tonks called over her shoulder as we left two more unconscious bodies, "you know we named Harry as Godfather to Teddy-"

As we rounded a corner, we came across a group of about five hooded figures, who seemed to be arguing about something, cutting Tonk's off of whatever she had been about to say.

"The Dark Lord is growing impatient; it seems he is going to make an announcement soon."

"What kind of announcement?"

"An ultimatum of sorts."

"How do you know?"

"We don't have time for this! They are falling just as fast as we are, and I am not going to be the one to let our Lord know this."

"He's right, they are stronger than we anticipated, that little ministry twit, the Weasley, he finished Rockwood off without so much as a blink…"

"Ginny," whispered Tonks with our backs against the wall, "we were wondering if you would be Godmother to him. In case we don't…make it, Remus and I want to know our son will be taken care of and I know you two would be great to him."

I met her eyes in a long gaze and wondered what she was up to. She sounded as though she was speaking her last words.

"I'd be honored Tonks."

"Good. Now go."  
><em> "What?"<em>

"Go, Ginny, go find Neville or anyone else _right_ now."

So that was what she was up to, "Tonks I'm not just going to leave you!"

"You _owe_ me, Weasley!"

I truly did owe her, not only had she saved my life but she was the one who gave me the chance to fight in the first place. "No…"

"Do it for Fred, then. And for Harry."

She wasn't going to make it easy for me. I knew that if I didn't comply she would _make_ me leave and I was caught in between a rock and a hard place. She wanted to go against those men alone; she obviously must have known what she was doing.

It went against everything I stood for but when Tonks narrowed her eyes, I knew there was nothing else I could do.

"I'm going to be the greatest Godmother to your son, Nymphadora, and you are going to watch me do it, I know it!"

I felt terrible leaving her, but she left me no choice, she was a fully capapble Auror, was she not? What if Neville needed me? What if he was about to end up like…like my brother?

She was going to swat me for using her first name but I ran for it before she could.

I never saw her again. She died sometime after that, and no one is really sure how, I think I might have some idea, but _four_ men were found dead exactly in the spot I had left her. So even if that was where it happened…I know she gave them hell.

Running so fast, I completely overlooked the fallen tapestry on the ground and I proceeded in tripping on it, tumbling to the ground.

"Damn!" I cursed, grabbing my tender ankle. The same one that was never quite the same after Amycus broke it at the Ministry.

I heard a soft sound from behind me and I twirled around with my wand already drawn.

And the bloody game changed again.

"There is no need for a wand, Weasley, I am of no harm to you," said Severus Snape in all his infamous glory.

I stood up slowly making sure my wand didn't waver, "I thought you fled the castle, Snape."

"Obviously not."

We stared each other down, until he took a step forward, I responded with a step of my own. "Let me pass, I told you I mean no harm. I'll just walk away and you'll be free of any threat you think I poses."

"You're not a threat," I said without moving.

Snape raised an eyebrow, "But of course. Don't waste your breath, Weasley, I know you aren't afraid of me, you've said it enough."  
>"It's more than that; you've <em>never<em> meant any harm to _any_ of us. You saved me from detentions all year, you made sure you knew all the Carrows' bidding, and you stopped things from getting deadly, which I'm sure Voldemort originally meant to happen."

Snape shook his head, "I do not have time for this-"

"Even now, you can easily blast me out of the way, you won't. This was all part of a scheme wasn't it?" I asked, finally putting all the pieces together, all the time spent pondering Severus Snape in my purgatory of Aunt Muriel's seemed to have paid off.

Snape's slight change of expression said all I needed to know.

I was right. I looked straight at his dark, cold eyes, "When you asked me if I knew what Little Hangleton was, you know I lied. Admit it."

"Yes, I knew it was a conspiracy the whole time," he said in a bored sneer, "you can only have wizard-pox once, and Longbottom caught it is first year. I was the one who created the remedy; I knew you were lying. What's more, Voldemort was residing at the Malfoy Manor at the time, any correspondence would have been sent from there."

"And yet you allowed me to continue to trap you and the Carrows?"

He said nothing for a moment, "Let me pass."

But I couldn't stop, it all made so much sense, "Dumbledore was the wisest wizard of the time, you wouldn't have been able to kill him unless he allowed you to, because he trusted you."

"Dumbledore was not invincible-"

"I know that! Of course he wasn't, but he was smarter than that, he was too smart to die at the hand of a trusted ally. He _ordered _you to kill him that night didn't he?" I asked with a tear falling down my face. "To hold appearances and to let things fall into place, it was his plan, and then you volunteered to take over the school so you could watch over the students. You're a double agent Snape, since the beginning. Don't' deny it, you let us in on so much insight, Dumbledore was always a step ahead, and yet Voldemort is certain that you work for him. You've just been feeding him well calculated rubbish."

"And you sent the sword to Harry after I told you about Dumbledore's will. The only reason you hadn't sent it before was because you Dumbledore hadn't told you, isn't that right? That's why you turned to the portrait, you were angry with him!" I took a breath to steady myself, "You've been helping us all along."

I watched the resignation in his eyes and I knew I was right…about everything.

I lowered my wand and stepped aside. He did even hesitate to quickly stalk pass. And the man I had once hated walked away.

"Thank you," I said softly just before he turned the corridor.

Snape paused, only for a moment, but in that moment he shifted his head slightly as though to look back. He didn't, he only continued escaping.

I never saw Severus Snape again.

"Thank Merlin, Ginny!" cried Neville's voice as he swooped me up into his arms. It was the first time I felt safe the entire night. "Where the hell have you been?"

"With Tonks…well I was…"

Neville released me and looking into my eyes, he had been crying. We were standing right outside the Great Hall once I had finally made it, things seemed to have calmed down and I wondered what had happened to the battle that was raging, "What's happened, Neville? You're crying."

"Ginny…there are many bodies in there; you're going to have to prepare yourself."

A wave of nausea came over me, as I thought of my brother, "Neville…I…I'm so glad you are ok," I said.

He wiped his face, his tear made tracks through the grime on his skin, "Everyone has been so worried about you, when they heard you had joined the fighting. What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking I couldn't sit by and do nothing! Look, I'm alright, I survived."

"I know. I know."

"Is everyone in there?" I asked gesturing to the hall.

"Yes, we think the death eaters have finally retreated."

I smiled through my tears, "Thank Merlin."

"Are you ready?"

I swallowed, "I'm as ready as I'll ever be."

He opened the door and the first thing I noticed was the incredible amount of people in the room, all the tables had been cleared, "Wait," I said stopping in my tracks, "Is Harry in here?"

Neville looked away, "I haven't seen him."

And then the game took its final twist.

Voldemort's voice returned to the night air, "You have fought, valiantly. Lord Voldemort knows how to value bravery. Yet you have sustained heavy losses. If you continue to resist me, you will die, one by one. I do not wish this to happen. Every drop of magical blood spilled is a loss and a waste. "I speak now, Harry Potter, directly to you. You have permitted your friends to die for you rather than to face me yourself. I shall wait one hour in the Forbidden Forest. If, at the end of that hour, you have not come to me, Harry Potter, the battle recommences. This time I shall enter the fray myself, Harry Potter, and I shall find you, and I shall punish every last man, woman, and child who has tried to conceal you from me. One Hour."


	24. A Brave New World

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

Entry 23: A Brave New World

"_I do believe in the light  
>Raise your hands up to the sky<br>The fight is done  
>The war is won<br>Lift your hands  
>Towards the sun…"<em>

_30 Seconds to Mars- This is War_

I remember when he died. No matter how many years pass, or how old will get, I can't and won't ever forget the sting of seeing Harry Potter's motionless and limp body lying on the ground. I would never again be able to stand on the front steps of Hogwarts without feeling the heart dropping sensation of screaming his name and receiving no response, no reaction what so ever. I had only minutes before lost my brother- my Fred, I had watched so many die; I had lost so much, so many, I lost myself in a sea of bloody turmoil. But despite all the pain already festering within me, seeing Harry, allegedly dead mere feet before me… I was pushed over the edge.

My hands were shaking. There was no breath in my lungs and my head was spinning dizzily.

I heard someone calling my name, but I didn't realize it was Neville until his arms caught my body before it crumbled to the ground.

"Ginny, listen to me, it's going to be okay, you are ok, I'm right here," he whispered, there were tears in his voice as well.

"C…Colin…" He was dead, peacefully still on the ground beside Tonks and Lupin…and Fred. Neville was right to warn me- there were more bodies in the Great Hall- but no amount of warnings could have prepared me- or anyone else for that matter- for the devastating wave of grief that ambushed me as I saw my friends and family dead around me.

I can't find the right words to…describe that feeling. I wondered why it had to be them, and then I chastened myself for actually wishing it on other people. It was a whirlwind of emotion and thoughts before I broke down crying.

I was shocked, and terrified…would I lose someone else? Who else would succumb to that fate? What did they ever do to deserve that? Colin was so young; he never even got to live the life he dreamed of. He was going to become a photographer…

Tonks and Remus had just had a child.

Teddy. My Godson. He would grow up without his mum's love, only living in the part of him that his parent would always be a piece of. He would grow up without hearing her sing him to sleep, without a dad to lead him to manhood, to teach him how to ride a broom.

Neville passed me into my mother's arms, though I can barely remember the switch. I'm sure, now, that the moment she saw me she made sure to get me in her safe arms and refuse to release me. I let myself fold into her hold, I cried into her shoulder, taking in and relishing in her homey scent, even potent through the ashes on her robes.

Freddy…the always laughing Freddy…why did he have to leave us? Why did he have to die because of the irrational hatred of one man? He would never be able to be George's best man…he would never be able to get married and have his own children. He would have been such a fun dad.

I wanted Teddy, I wanted to hold him in my arms and tell him that he was not going to have the childhood his Godfather had.

I wanted Fred…I wanted him to crack a joke like George did when he lost his ear. Only death was not something to laugh about.

I didn't think I would ever laugh again.

My mother's heart wrenching sobs into my hair only fueled my own pain. I was heartbroken for my mother's pain…she had lost a child. She never wanted any of us involved in the war, we should have listened…I should have made Fred and George stay home with me. Guilt took over my pain, guilt for encouraging our rebellious streak, guilt for leaving Tonks to fend for herself.

Percy was beside me then and I threw myself into his arms. How could I had I ever even thought to deny a brother of mine forgiveness? My guilt increased; what kind of sister was I? I loved Percy, he was my family, he was my brother, I had just lost one and my perspective was suddenly adjusted. Why did it take the death of Fred to realize that family came first? I still can't answer that question and can only say that my righteous anger toward the fact that Percy made a mistake and turned his back on Harry blinded me. It was a terrible thing, but I can't change it.

"I'm… sorry…Percy," I said through my hiccups.

He hugged me tightly, "Don't worry about it."

People everywhere were crying. I had no idea what we were going to do; how were we going to pick up the pieces and collect ourselves in an hour? We obviously had no intent of letting Harry go, so we had an hour.

One hour.

Would more people die when the hour was up?

Who else would I be forced to say goodbye to?

Would it be me?

What if it was?

I'd be with Fred.

I'd know if he was okay.

Everything during those moments was blurry…until I saw Hermione.

I was somewhat composed myself but seeing her opened the flood gates once again. She hugged me and whispered words of comfort, and I was just so glad she was there. My best friend. I remember swearing to myself that I would never let her leave again. I would never let any of them leave again.

She was a part of me. She cried with me over the Yule Ball, it felt like so long before...we were such silly little girls… we were innocent then.

She gave me advice that essentially landed me with Harry.

She woke me up in the middle of the night to relieve me from my horrid nightmares… nights were she would end up crawling into bed with me when I cried.

I always returned the favor.

She held my hand as Madam Pomfrey healed my ankle.

She sat with me and helped me through my break up with Harry.

I told her I was there for her, when she erased herself from her parent's memoires.

We cried together for Sirius, for Dumbledore, when to the rest of the world, we were as strong as they come. There, surrounded by everyone we knew, it didn't matter anymore. As long as we were together it didn't matter that they saw us cry.

I cried.

Ginny Weasley cried.

And I'm never going to be ashamed of it again.

Ron rubbed a hand on my lower back as he wrapped himself around the two of us. I felt stronger somehow, a little more complete.

Perhaps…Perhaps it _was_ going to be okay. In an hour Harry would kill Voldemort and life…life would be okay again…someday.

I had to hope that would be the case, because if I thought of anything else, any other options, I was as good as done. I wasn't going to surrender.

"We are going to keep fighting. Keep fighting to do what Fred died to do. We are going to win."

I felt Ron nod.

"When did you become so smart?" whispered Hermione.

I half smiled, "I learn from the best."

She laughed once through her throaty tears, and we remained silently in our small huddle for a few more minutes until something finally registered, "Where's Harry?"

The two of them seemed startled, "Oh…um…he was right behind me," Ron's voice was low and raspy.

"Should we go find him?" Hermione's tone was back to its worried and logical state.

"Nah, I think he just needs…time I guess."

"Is it a good idea to leave him alone?"

I remained silent as they whispered back and forth like concerned parents. I was too drained to think about what was the best for Harry. I knew that he wouldn't have wanted to be in this room; he would have suffocated. But if I knew Harry, and I did, he would return very soon. Most likely with a new strategy.

"How many Horcruxes are left?" the words were out of my mouth before the thought even settled in my head.

Ron and Hermione gasped. Their eyes were wide with shock and it seemed I had succeeded in startling them again. Ron struck into action first. He grabbed my elbow and was already holding Hermione's hand when he moved us back to the Entrance Hall.

"You have about two seconds to explain how the bloody hell you know about the Horcruxes."

I hadn't meant to bring it up in the least, but my thoughts were on Harry when they wandered to his mission and what he could have been doing at the moment. Nonetheless, I spoke without thinking and though I was too wary to even stand straight- I had to make an effort.

"I over heard the word…last summer…I'm sorry!" I said before he could say anything, his face showed pure rage. Hermione seemed frightened. "And well, I started digging and I had already figured out the prophecy," this was met with a face that surpassed rage, so I started rushing though my words, "And I knew that Harry and the both of you were off on a mission to end Voldemort, and I knew that Harry was the only one who could finish it. So I realized the mission was something that had to be done _before_, and done in order _to _kill Voldemort. So when I found out what a Horcrux _was,_ I knew that Tom's Diary was one, and so I put two and two together and realized there must have been more than one, because Tom Riddle's Diary had already been destroyed, and so I figured the three of you were searching and destroying the rest of them. When you got back here and said you were looking for an item it just solidified everything I had worked out." I let out a huge breath and hoped I wasn't going to be scolded.

Hermione looked….impressed. "Ron…don't be mad but…Ginny I'm so proud of you," she cried and started sobbing into my shirt, "I'm so sorry- I hated keeping things from you. Now you know… you been here all alone… I know we should have just trusted you. It must have been so hard. I can't believe what I've done… oh Ginny how could you ever forgive us?"

"Of course I'll forgive you Hermione, I can't even imagine not… I love you, you're my best friend." This only made her sob even harder.

I looked up from the shoulder of my best friend into the eyes of my closest brother. It was again, that same thoughtful look I pegged on Ron whenever he was thinking hard about something. I didn't want him to be mad; I didn't have the will in me to bicker with my brother, especially not then. I didn't want him to be upset with me…it would have hurt too much.

"I'm…sorry…Ron," I said thickly. My tears blurred my vision again.

"No…it's alright, I'm proud of you Ginny," he smiled, "I know that I have never really shown it but…I've always been proud of you."

And I lost it. I flung myself into his arms and pulled him close.

All those years of being disregarded because I was the youngest, because I was the smallest, because I was a girl…it didn't matter anymore. Ron was proud of me, and in a way, that's all I ever wanted.

It was a rather important moment for us, from that moment on our relationship changed for the better. In the years to come, yes Ron would still pull the big brother protection rights, but we became more than brother and sister, we became best friends. And it wasn't only because he was dating Hermione.

We gained mutual respect for each other.

"There's only the snake left," he whispered into my ear.

I pulled away and looked into his eyes in disbelief. "The snake? As in, Voldemort's snake?"

"Yeah."

I took a surprised breath, "How-what-how are we going to get that close?"

Hermione bit her lip, "We don't know."

"We have about forty minutes to figure it out."

"I'm sure Harry's working on it right now," said Ron, "I'm just all out of ideas at this point, and mum really needs us."

"Yeah, and there are still so many people that need medical attention," Hermione reluctantly agreed.

"The best thing for us to do right now is to help here."

I nodded, and with one last hug we reentered the Great Hall. Madam Pomfrey was shakily wandering over to the wounded and my family had settled into a small corner of the Hall. We returned to them and Bill placed a hand on my shoulder, his eyes were red but his face was dry; Bill was strong and I took comfort in seeing him.

"How are you, firecracker?"

I tried to smile, "I'm alive; does that count?"

"More than you know."

"Geeny," sighed Fleur, pulling me into an embrace.

"Hi, Fleur," I replied.

"I knew you would end up in ze fighting, you never were one to back down."

"I have a lot to thank you for, and a lot to apologize for as well. I'm sorry for being less than welcoming to you, starting two years ago."

She smiled warmly, and for once, with tears staining her face, ashes dusting her hair and blood clinging to her robes, I saw her guard down and she looked natural, I had never seen her look so beautiful, "Zere eez nothing to apologize for, eet eez all in ze past."

I nodded and pulled her away only a step, no one seemed to notice, "I wanted to let you know you were right, about You-Know-Who and the You-Know-Whats."

She appeared to get the message, "Are they all gone?"

"Almost," I said reassuringly.

"Eez zat why a certain boy eez not 'ere with 'is family?"

I shrugged, "It's not over yet."

"Unfortunately, so."

Fleur wasn't so bad; I suppose the only reason I made myself believe she was a terror was because she was taking a brother away from me. But I realized that she wasn't. She was just adding more love to our family. And I guess I still was a bit sour over the reactions Harry had from the girl all those years ago during the Triwizard Tournament and after. But as she said, it was all in the past.

When being with my family and looking over Fred's body became too much, I began to assist Neville and Madam Pomfrey with the others.

"Miss. Weasley," she said, "There are still several people outside awaiting help, would you please head over there?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"And Mr. Longbottom, please escort her…I don't want to think of what might happen if anyone where to wander outside alone…" her voice cracked, but then her professional appearance returned. I would never have been able to be a healer; the no emotional connection would nearly do me in.

Neville led me toward the outside grounds. The night was a deep purple; dawn was approaching. There were more people than I had expected outside wounded and in pain. Many were being tended to by wizards trying to do anything they could. We had a few healers, but not enough. By that point my mother had thrown herself into helping others inside and it made a lot of difference. I knew she felt better saving people and making sure no other parents lost their children.

I never really liked the sight of blood. I had seen it on several occasions, more than I liked to admit, but it never failed to give me an unsettling feeling at the pit of my stomach. There were so many wounds…and screams of pain…it was terrible.

How could one man, one boy, grow up to cause all this horror? How could this have occurred because of one human being? The only answer was that he was far from human. He was evil. He was the epitome of hatred. He was the definition.

"Ginny," Neville called my attention, "I'm going to help this man over here, why don't you follow that path right there?" he pointed just a few feet away, "That way we will still be able to see each other, and there are people all around here."

"Sure."

"Don't hesitate to call me if you need something, and don't do anything rash please."

I looked into the humble and deep eyes of Neville Longbottom wondering where the bumbling, awkward, and unconfident boy had gone. The boy who stepped all over my toes at the Yule Ball. I knew he was long gone, but I was glad to say that throughout the transformation he stayed true to himself. He had changed in the war, but he was still Neville, and he had changed only for the better. "I promise."

He smiled, "Get to it."

I wandered down the small grassy path, casting a few cleansing and bandaging charms I had learned from my time in the Room of Requirement. I was holding it together; I hadn't seen anything too troubling…until I heard quiet whimpering. Turning my head toward the sound my heart fell to my stomach.

"No, no, no," I muttered rushing over to the body, the little girl was squirming and gasping trying to fight the ache. There were slashes across her chest, and the cloth from her shirt stuck to her bleeding wounds. I immediately recognized the curse as_ Sectumsempra._

I could tell she had been bleeding out for a long while.

"Shh…" I said, softly pulling her head onto my lap. I pushed the wet mattered hair from her face, moist from the sweat of her exertion and from the fever I diagnosed with a touch of her forehead. Her wounds were infected and it had spread. There was cloth dried into the slashes on her stomach and she had already lost too much blood.

I attempted some spells to stop the bleeding…but she needed blood replenishing potions that I didn't have. The infection was raging and I couldn't think of anything else in my power I could do.

I looked around wildly, but no one was going to be able to help. She was white as sheet; even if I got hold of Madam Pomfrey, there were too many things that needed to be done to save her. If she got the potion, the infection would have overtaken already, if I waited to get a healer to stop the infection, she would have already bled out and died alone. It was too late.

"You weren't supposed to get caught up in this," I whispered solemnly, I held back my tears not wanting her to see me cry, "How did you manage to stay?" I asked positive she was too far gone to hear me.

I held Anamille Smite, Avery's younger sister, knowing she was very close to death. "It's going to me alight," I told her with a forced smile, "In a moment nothing is going to hurt anymore and the pain will be gone, I'm right here." How could I say those things when I didn't know if they were true? I was only saying what I hoped was awaiting her.

I had to hope that Fred wasn't in pain anymore; I had to hope that he was laughing with the Marauders and cracking jokes at Dumbledore.

Anamille looked up at me with the beautiful blue eyes of her brother and she cringed, "I want my mum…please… it hurts."

At her plea I couldn't help but let the tears fall a bit. I hurt me so much that she was so helpless. I could do nothing but make her comfortable and lie through my teeth. "I know sweetie,

it's alright, your mum is coming…I promise." It didn't even matter that she didn't believe me; she took the lie and found comfort in it.

I grabbed her hand and applied pressure until she couldn't anymore. Finally her hand dropped from mine and her eyes fluttered closed.

"Damn!" I cursed, hitting the ground with my free hand. She was only 13 years old! She hadn't even lived yet, neither had Colin- or Fred for that matter! The girl had just died in my arms. I watched the life drain out of her body. I was crying, only hoping that I was true to my word and she was no longer in pain. Poor Avery…he had lost a sibling.

That's when I felt it. I felt a familiar sense behind me. It was heavy, as though someone was watching me. But I wasn't alarmed or frightened; the weight of the gaze was familiar even through wire framed glasses. The gaze belonged to green eyes.

I heard a light brushing of grass behind me and I was certain he was there. I turned around and was met with a big fat nothing. I shook my head but the sensation didn't go away. I felt him. It sounded insane even when I thought it to myself, but it also didn't make any sense. Harry Potter was not there; I didn't see him.

Don't think I was daft, I knew he had an invisibility cloak that would make the situation plausible, but why would Harry Potter be wandering around the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest under the protection of the cloak, when he should have been inside creating a new battle plan? He was supposed to be finding a way to slay the snake of Lord Voldemort; he didn't really have time for a stroll in the moonlight.

I grew flustered as I started arguing with myself. I kept trying to believe I had only imagined it, but I couldn't deny that I felt the intoxicating gravitational pull of Harry Potter. I could always tell when he was in a room; he was never able to sneak up and surprise me. I never really understood, and he told me once- late one night in the common room- that he felt the same way with me. I never questioned it.

I don't usually question much in the Wizarding World.

But I refused to believe that Harry had just passed by me. Why wouldn't he have stopped? I knew that we were over but…he could have said _something_. Especially when we both knew we could sense when the other was around. He was inside with Ron and Hermione. He had to have been.

"Ginny?"

I started, "Oh, Neville," I gasped.

"Were you expecting someone else?"

"No…it's only-I,"

"Ginny? Are you alright? You look dreadful, you're pale," he observed stepping closer to me. Most likely he thought the shock of the night finally hit me.

I shook my head and cleared all thoughts of Harry Potter from my mind. "No it's, Anamille," I gestured to her lifeless form, "There was nothing that could be done."

He lowered his head, "Oh, no." Slowly he picked up the body and began returning to the castle. I followed him a few steps behind, only looking back once.

If Harry truly was out there was he about to….no, he wouldn't…he couldn't.

I shook my head yet another time and told myself to stop being stupid. After everything we had done, Harry wouldn't have just given himself up. No. He would never do that.

"I hate waiting like this."

"There's not much longer," Neville said aloofly, looking at the ceiling of the night sky.

"Is that supposed to make me feel any better?"

Not looking at me he replied, "I'd try anything at this point."

I smiled warily, "You've been so good to me this year Neville."

"What, were you expecting anything less? You're my best friend Ginny; I would do anything for you."

Suddenly, something very odd happened. I had the oddest sensation of Harry's lips on mine. Like our kiss in my room on his birthday, that knee melting kiss… I felt it and not a second later the feeling ended.

"I would too," said Luna sitting down on the other side of me. "Even though I know I can't do _everything _I would do whatever I could, if you needed it."

I wasn't paying attention to her however. I was trying to understand what was happening. The kiss experience was quickly replaced by an odd emptiness. After the kissing sensation and I felt…lost…in my head... and in my…heart.

"Ginny?" Luna prompted, "Are you alright? It looks like you have wackspurts in your head."

Was I having a heart attack? Is that what it felt like? I couldn't tell, but there was an odd pressure in my chest and I was beginning to feel frightened.

"Ginny," Neville took my hand, "Ginny?" when he got no response he gently shook my shoulders.

I felt oddly cold.

"What's happening?" Hermione's voice asked… it seemed so far away.

"I think she's gone into shock."

"Ginny…"

"Ginny!"

"Ginny!"

And suddenly…the feeling was gone. I could breathe easily and I felt warm and…normal again.

"I'm ok," I said shaking my head, "Um…must have been those wackspurts."

Hermione touched my forehead, "You're white as a sheet, and you're sweating."

"You don't look to hot yourself," I grumbled; the last thing I wanted was for everyone to start babying me. I was fine. At least, I was then.

Luna smiled, "I think she's back."

Hermione nodded, "It would appear so."

I looked at Luna, so glad she had managed to stay unscathed, "I'm so glad you are okay, Luna."

She smiled, "Oh yes, Dean made sure that I was kept safe."

I nodded, "I'm glad he did."

I turned back to Neville; he had a far off look in his eye, a look he'd had since we re-entered the castle. I was about to ask him what was wrong-

"Have any of you seen Harry yet?" Ron asked marching up to the group of us.

"I haven't seen him," Hermione said softly.

"You mean he hasn't shown up yet?"

She shook her head. I didn't want to be worried, I mean, it was Harry and he had a habit of keeping himself alive. But alas, so close to Voldemort's final deadline, I began to worry sick. We all did, but looking around none of us caught any glimpse of him, or his feet.

Then, in a matter of a few heart beats everything came to a disastrous halt.

I had completely cut myself off from thoughts of a future with Harry. I had given up, I knew it wasn't going to happen and I felt like an idiot for still wishing for it. I forgot about it because it wasn't what Harry wanted, not because there would be no Harry to have it with.

When Voldemort's raspy voice returned to the castle, it was the shock of a lifetime.

"Harry Potter is dead," he told us.

I didn't call his bluff, and everyone else was dead silent. Some had faces of pure horror, some of complete denial. I was a part of the latter.

In those few seconds of stillness, Hermione had stopped breathing and I was searching within me for some kind of dread; I knew I would feel it if Harry was dead. It was that strange connection making me positive I would just _know _if he was dead. I felt nothing. Nothing other than the sadness of lost friends that had plagued me the entire hour.

Bill moved toward the door.

"No!" I cried, "It's a trap!"

"What if it isn't?"

"He's lying!"

"You don't know that."

Ron shook his head, "Harry's not dead Bill."

"We can't be sure, Mr. Weasley. The point of the matter is we need to do something other than sit here like fools," Professor McGonagall said.

"Professor-"

"As much as I believe you about this trap we must make some sort of move."

I was starting to become hysterical, "He's just trying to get us out there!" All I was wondering was where Harry could possibly be, if he wasn't out there with Voldemort. Why hadn't he come rushing in to show us he was ok?

No one had a reply, no one had seen him in a while, and I had only a feeling that he had been wandering around under his cloak.

"He's alive Bill, I just saw him outside near the forest," I half-lied, anything to get them to believe me.

A very pale Neville stood to his feet, and taking a breath said, "I know where he went."

My eyes nearly fell from my face. He knew where Harry was? And he hadn't told me?

Hermione seemed to be concerned about his barely audible voice, "What is it Neville?"

"Where's Harry?"

Neville swallowed, "He told me to kill the snake the first moment I had the chance…he said he wasn't going to be able to do it."

I was sure many people in the crowd understood the gravity of what Neville had just divulged, but Hermione, Ron and I, we understood that Harry had given himself in. He made sure all lose ends were met; he would have never passed off the responsibility if there was still a chance he could kill the snake. Harry must have been positive. Positive and determined.

Still something in me wouldn't believe it, "Why?" I asked, not only to Neville but to my brother.

"Where did he go, Neville?" asked Ron. When he didn't get a reply, he took Neville's shoulder and shook them, "_Where did he go?"_

Neville looked up and met my brother's eyes with a solemn gaze, confirming what we were all thinking.

"No," gasped Hermione.

"If I would have thought- I told him we weren't going to stop fighting, I never thought he would-" Neville was frantically trying to make sense of things, "I didn't know…"

I couldn't believe he would have kept that to himself. Half of the conclusion came swiftly into my head; Harry would have given himself up, knowing that we would keep fighting…he knew that after the snake was taken out someone would be left to finish Voldemort. It would have only taken one curse because Voldemort would be mortal. Only, why did Harry feel he needed to sacrifice himself in the first place? It didn't make sense.

Did he think that… perhaps if he gave himself in, Voldemort would be more merciful towards us? Would Harry be stupid enough to think that?

The answer to that question was the easiest: Of course he would.

I still didn't believe it, "It's a bluff!" I called, but people were already running towards the door. Could they really believe it?

Not wanting to be left alone and not particularly one for being in the middle of a crowd I pushed my way through to the front.

That's when I heard a scream; a high-pitched blood curdling scream…by no one other than Minerva McGonagall.

Ron and Hermione were screaming as well, but I was still hidden behind a horde of people; it felt like slow motion, trying to make it to the front. I was dreading getting to the front, just as much as I was anxious to get there. When I did, everything changed.

McGonagall was clutching at her heart with another hand over her mouth, Ron was supporting a nearly fallen Hermione, and my brother Bill was pushing everyone back into the school, without any success. People were yelling and crying…

"Ginny, no, stay!" warned Bill as I pushed against his arms.

"Let me see Bill, _let me see!"_ and I broke through.

Some part of me desperately wishes I would have listened to my brother; I would wish anything if it meant I could have saved myself the sight before me because it is still alive in my nightmares today.

Hagrid's tears of anguish, Voldemort's joy, Ron and Hermione's terrified resignation… Neville's anger….

And Harry Potter's dead body lying at Hagrid's feet.

It couldn't be true, Harry couldn't be dead, and everything I was seeing was a figment of my imagination. At least that's what I was desperately hoping for. Harry was what I had always been looking forward to; he was what I had spent an entire year fighting for, even if I didn't think we were going to be together…I loved him and it killed me thinking that he wouldn't get the chance to live the life he so wanted…even with someone else if he wanted. Harry deserved to live; Harry was the heart and soul of the light side…without him it was over.

All of this happened in another flash of a few seconds; one moment Bill was pulling me back as I pushed him away, the next I was clawing onto him while everything around me spun.

Harry was truly dead. He held me tightly as my knees finally gave in.

"_Harry, No!" _I screeched my voice hoarse. The pain was blinding, first Fred…now Harry? It was more than I could endure.

I would never see his brilliant green eyes…or Fred's mischievous smile…

Was Harry with his mum at least?

With my brother?

With Sirius?

With Remus?

Tonks?

With Hedwig and Dobby?

Mad-Eye and Cedric?

With Dumbledore?

I loved Harry with everything I had in me, I never understood it; I never understood my infatuation for all those years, but he really did mean so much to me.

And what I regretted most…was that I never got to tell him that I loved him. I was too much of a coward; I was too scared to put my heart on the line to tell him something he most definitely deserved to hear. Needed to hear. Harry never had enough love in his life and he didn't hear endearments as often as a normal person.

When I looked into his eyes I could see the longing…the want for something more. As if his childhood wasn't bad enough his teenage years were the most unfair…

How could I have not told him?

How could I not have told him that I loved him, not the Boy-Who-Lived or the Chosen One, I loved him because he was just Harry. He needed to know that and I never took the moment to tell him. Tell him that I loved him because he was so good.

So modest,

So selfless,

So stubborn,

So clueless,

So sarcastic,

And yes because he was so damn noble.

But he was gone, I would never be able to tell him…and the seventeen years he spent on this earth were nothing but years of heart ache and pain…I could have eased that. I could have made sure he knew that someone cared for him, not just my mother, my family or his friends, but that he could have the love his mother gave to his father. I didn't.

How was I going to live with that for the rest of my life?

How was I going to live without him?

Even if we were only destined to be friends; because he had a choice. For once in his life he could control something. He could control what he wanted from me.

Harry saved my life, he saved my father's and my brother's and countless others. Why couldn't anyone save his?

I clung to Bill as the tears fell. Voldemort was talking but I couldn't understand what he was saying, all other noise was like a foreign language.

At some point both sides began yelling back and forth, Voldemort was trying to make Harry seem like a coward. Ron and my family were screaming to prove him wrong, when a scuffle ensued. I finally let go of Bill so I could see clearly. Neville had taken a stand against Voldemort. Bellatrix was laughing.

I was appalled, "What is he doing? Neville, _No!"_

But before I could do anything Voldemort summoned the Sorting Hat from the castle and it landed on Neville's head.

"Now with the help from Neville Longbottom, I will reveal what will happen when someone tries to oppose me." With a flick of his wand, the Sorting Hat burst into flames.

"NEVILLE!"

Voldemort- the buggar, was smiling.

Suddenly a wave of hundreds of people could be heard screaming war cries; it only took a lift of the head to see the massive crowd running toward the castle already cursing at the Death Eaters. Even far of in the distance I could see my brother Charlie at the head, leading the swarm.

Everything happened at once: Voldemort was caught off guard and Neville was able to throw the enflamed hat off his head. I began to run toward him when he pulled the Sword of Gryffindor out of the hat. He looked up and met my eyes.

We both had the same thought. "Dumbledore's ARMY!" In one swift movement the snake was decapitated, and the last horcrux was destroyed.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"_Impedimenta!"_ he cried and hit an oncoming Death Eater, "I'm fine, let's go!"

"HARRY, WHERE'S HARRY?" Hagrid's voice boomed.

Running inside with Neville, my heart nearly stopped when I heard the half giant's question. Harry's body was indeed missing from where it had been. Visions of his body being kicked around by Death Eaters made me sick. But I had to keep going; I had to keep fighting.

There was chaos everywhere as everyone ran into the Great Hall to continue struggling. George and Lee were overtaking Yaxley, the Death Eater, and Percy and my father were dueling the Death Eater minister, Pius Thicknesse.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Potter's little sweeties!" For the rest of my life I would recognize the voice of Bellatrix Lestrange.

Hermione, Luna and I didn't even bother responding. We began firing everything we had at her.

"Oh, ho! Well it seems you've got some spunk!"

I didn't think it was possible for one woman to take on three people, but she was doing it with enough energy to hold a conversation. Luna, Hermione and I were not amateurs, but Bellatrix made it seem that way.

"Stupefy!"

"You're going to have to try harder than that," she sing-songed.

And we did, trust me we did, but nothing worked.

And then, she did it, "_Avada Kedavra!"_

The moment I saw the jet of green light making its way toward my head, deep down I secretly wondered how long it would take before I was able to see Fred and Harry again. When the moment of insanity fled my consciousness I managed to find the time to duck out of the way. It passed mere centimeters from my nose. The light blinded my vision because of its brightness and the moment I stopped seeing dots, the first thing I saw was my mother bounding her way toward the witch.

I had never in my life heard my mother use any kind of derogatory language. But Bellatrix Lestrange really did bring out the worst of people.

"NOT MY DAUGHTER YOU BITCH!" she cried, sending a nasty curse toward the deranged witch.

Bellatrix's wild, black eyes flared with excitement, "Oh! Mummy has come out to play!"

They began to duel. I threw myself back against the wall beside Hermione as we continued to watch the scene before us. In the center of the Great Hall Voldemort was fighting McGonagall, Kingsley and Professor Slughorn, keeping up easily with the three senior Order members. His red eyes literally danced; he was enjoying this, enjoying the fact that he had killed Harry Potter and because we didn't bow down to him he had the opportunity to kill us all. The people leading the war against him.

Bellatrix and my mother had a style and grace that I only wish I could have, back and forth; I couldn't breathe, wishing to Merlin with all that was inside of me that my mother wouldn't fall to Sirius' fate.

"You will never touch our children again!" yelled my mother with one last spell. The power of it was noticed by everyone around, and finally, justice was served when Bellatrix Lestrange hit the ground, dead.

What happened next, I'm sure you know; there isn't a soul in the Wizarding World that doesn't know what happened.

_"Protego!"_

A shield erupted in the center of the room and expended the entire width, from wall to wall. All the Death Eaters on one side as the rest of us on the other, divided by a sizzling, powerful, magical wall.

And at the center, the source of the spell, stood Harry James Potter just newly reveled from his cloak.

He was alive.

I was feeling so much, too much, I nearly fainted. How much could a heart go through in one night? How far could it be mangled and twisted? I was so completely out of it I didn't not pay the slightest bit attention to what Harry was saying. Voldemort seemed outraged, I would be too; I mean how many times did you have to kill your nemesis before he died?

My mother took a step in front of me almost blocking my view, but they were circling each other. Harry was taunting him, but what they spoke of…I had no idea. It didn't make any sense. I heard something about the Elder Wand.

The Elder Wand? That was part of an old fairy tale story for children, from the book the Tales of Beddle the Bard. The Elder Wand wasn't real. The Deathly Hallows weren't real.

But then…there was still so much I didn't know. There must have been more to it than just the Horcruxes…I would never be able to catch up.

"That would make me the rightful owner of the Elder Wand," said Harry, "Not you, Tom."

Not only was Harry alive and speaking, but he was speaking incredible things that I just couldn't believe. Harry Potter was alive, he survived the killing curse yet again, and was the owner of the famous unbeatable wand-making him the most powerful wizard of all- that was a little more than I could handle. I must have been dreaming. Perhaps I would wake back in my room at Aunt Muriel's and that whole dark night would have been a horrid nightmare.

Alas, when I pinched myself I was still there beside my mother.

Voldemort was infuriated; he looked as though fire was about to emerge from his eye sockets. "It doesn't matter," he said, "I will still best you Harry Potter."

No he wouldn't.

He and Harry recommenced their iconic duel, with Voldemort's killing curse meeting Harry's disarming charm in between them. That time however, the wand in Voldemort's hand lifted from his grasp and landed in the palm of Harry's, proving that Harry Potter truly was the master of the Elder Wand.

My mouth fell apart as the crowd gasped. In another bout of slow motion, Voldemort's body collapsed. Struck by his own rebounding killing curse, Tom Riddle fell down to the ground, dead at last.

Tom was dead.

Voldemort was dead.

And Harry wasn't.

Tom might have still been with me in my nightmares and my worst fears, but he wouldn't be able to hurt me or my family ever again. It was over. It was actually over, the light had won.

The war was won.

As if on cue dawn met the horizon and the sun washed us in a basking glow. Natural light flooded the grounds; the gaps in the walls the falling ceiling, they let in the daylight.

We weren't going to have to fight anymore. We wouldn't have to lose any more people.

I stared at the body. Everything had happened so fast…but you all know the details, you all know what happened.

Once those thoughts resonated in everyone's mind, the cheering began. An eruption of happy choruses filled the room. And of course, I couldn't help it, I ran to Harry. It seemed everyone want to touch him, some piece of our Harry, our Harry who had finally fulfilled his destiny. We had a new chance at life, a new chance for a better world.

People were crying and hugging, Aurors were rounding up stunned Death Eaters (in both senses of the word, stunned by magic or shocked that their master was rotting flesh) and Rona and Hermione….were kissing.

I couldn't help but laugh, I honestly couldn't. In all the evil, something good had come out of it; but what was funnier was that it took this war to get the two to admit it to each other. They had the worst timing possible. But when you were dealing with Ron and Hermione- and Harry and I for that matter- you were dealing with the most stubborn people you will ever meet, and so it wasn't at all unexpected.

At the sound of my laughter Harry turned around and saw me. My breath caught in my throat, ending my chuckle. In the midst of pandemonium, celebration and hundreds of people swarming about, Harry stood there and just stared at me, and I didn't look away from his green eyes. For a moment I thought he was going to say something…I even thought maybe he was going to kiss me. But then he was swept away by others and I knew I was foolish to expect anything less.

But…at least, I knew that Harry Potter was alive.

At least, I knew that he was okay.

And that meant that we would _all_ be okay…eventually.


	25. Finding Our Future

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

**Entry 24: Finding Our Future**

"_I don't know,_

_How to say,_

_How I feel,_

_Those three words,_

_Are said too much,_

_They're not enough._

_If I Lay here,_

_If I just Lay here,_

_Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

_Forget what we're told,_

_Before we get too old,_

_Just know that these things will never change for us at all…"_

_-Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol_

The first person to touch you, your heart, and maybe never let it go. That person, you never forget. A summer romance, a dramatic fling, and maybe for some, a love that lasts forever, through better or for worse, in sickness and in health, 'til death do they part.

Those who only had to try once are the lucky few.

Harry Potter would forever be my first love.

The afternoon after the final battle I found myself outside by the lake. I hadn't caught one moment of sleep still and still had no interest in it. The sky seemed so bright; I took it as a sign, a bitterly sarcastic sign. Whoever stepped outside would with no doubt look up to see the beauty of the auburn colors that burst through the clouds- and there's your the irony- look up. As though now that it's all over we can all _look up_ to our future; we can think positively.

I remember laughing a bit as I thought of how we wouldn't be looking up; we'd be looking down into the graves of those we had to bury. Remus, Tonks, Colin…Fred.

I sighed, it wasn't fair to be so mad at the world; the world had just given us a second chance, so I blamed it on Voldemort.

I was exhausted; I had stayed awake all morning comforting my mother, letting her hold me in return. I felt her tears she cried drowning me until I couldn't take anymore. I told her I needed fresh air she let me go silently so I didn't waste one moment getting out of there. The faces of my family were just blurs as I walked, not really knowing where I was headed. In all honesty I _didn't_ need fresh air, I needed Harry. I needed to know that he was still there, that he was still alive. The moment he walked away from the crowd after the celebrations, I felt like nothing had changed, I felt as though he was still gone. And if after I saw him breathing, and nothing were to come of it, then let I'd it be. I didn't have anything left in me to fight anymore, for anything; I was just missing my brother.

How much would it hurt when I called his name in a reflex to call George? Would it sting? Would it burn? Would everyone look at me shamefully because I brought back some terrible memories?

It shocked me that I wasn't crying, I was most likely just too tired, but I knew that if I fell asleep I would see things that would wake me up again anyway.

Fred. He was gone. No more twin jokes, no more twin pranks. How could I have just taken having so many brothers for granted? When was the last time I told him I loved him? I probably couldn't have remembered if I had tried.

The lake was still, so calm, oblivious to the bubbling emotions inside of me just about to erupt. It was _too_ calm; I grabbed a rock by my feet and watched as it hurtled into the water. With a splash and a few ripples, the water returned to its state of blissful peace.

Just like Harry. No matter what was thrown at him he just took it in stride. What would it take for him to really break?

I had no idea that I was going to find out soon enough. He hadn't been seen since the early morning, and I didn't have the courage to go up and look for him; I was just a hollow version of who I had been a few years back.

Ginevra Molly Weasley, so full of spunk, witty sharp and tempered. She never broke down, nothing would break her. She had risen up from the crumble of physiological damage Tom Riddle had served her. She made people laugh; she put people in their place. That's what everyone said.

The only thing that could ever bring down those barriers that I held strong was Harry Potter; I had a weakness, sue me. I didn't think I could ever be the same girl I was, not after the past year. Not after the past few years, slowly chipping off piece by piece of any innocence I had left. That's it my childhood was over; though it had ended a while ago it was officially ripped from under my feet.

I sat under our tree, for no other reason than craving the shade. But even still, I couldn't help but think about all the times Harry and I sat there, laughing smiling and blocking out the world. Maybe that was why I chose the spot, no one would find me, and nothing would bother me. I tried clearing my mind, so that I would see things in a way that I could understand. Because right then I didn't understand why it always had to be us, to suffer, to mourn; Dumbledore said we had to make our own happiness, maybe it was just a load of bullocks.

I watched the sky turning from a violet purple to a light blue, not caring how much time passed, I thought it would be grand if I could skip far enough into the future where thinking of Fred wouldn't hurt as much. But I knew that was only the easy way out, and since when have I ever been the type to do that? That's exactly what Fred would have told me.

Fred and George, Gred, Forge, would I ever get used to having one but not the other? Probably not.

Would I ever get used to being in the same room with Harry after knowing how wonderful it was to be with him?

Probably not.

I wasn't sure what hurt worse, watching him dead, or seeing the refusal for me in his eyes. That moment in the Room of Requirement still played back in my mind, he wouldn't let me do anything, he sided with my parents and…it just squashed any hope I had left. Harry had so many chances to make things right between us…but he never took one. Shouldn't that have been enough closure for me?

A twig snapped behind me. Had it been only a few months back, I would have instantly drawn my wand and there would have been a stunned body on the ground before I could even tell who it was. People had learned to not sneak up on me. Only I knew there was no need to worry anymore- sure it had only been a couple of hours but already the world felt safer, not to mention I had been thinking about Fred and his death for who knew how long already. I couldn't associate Fred's death with anything but how it led to the down fall of Tom. Maybe that was another thing I had to be thankful for, my brother saved us all. Or maybe it just wasn't his time to go.

All in all I didn't turn around. Not particularly wanting company but not have the energy to be crude and callous either. If there _was _someone there, at some point they would get the picture and leave.

But there was only silence.

The same serene silence I had surrounded myself with earlier that afternoon. I put it out of my mind; obviously had anyone been they had left. But when the rustle of the leaves came without wind I knew I shouldn't have pushed my luck. I sighed.

"Look I just want to be left alone so-" but as I turned around my breath caught. For the slightest of moments everything cleared to where I almost felt light headed. I didn't even have time to look into their face, for I hastily turned back towards the lake the very second I saw the distinct messy mop of black hair.

Why, why, why, did the trivial sight of Harry Potter manage to lock my brain in a fog and my heart in turmoil? It was like he had this unfair advantage that took away all coherent thought from me in moments like that one.

"Hi," was all he said. A simple greeting that I couldn't take anything from. No quiver in his voice, not even a hint of sorrow or happiness. There was no sigh of relief nor did the tone drip of resentment.

I would have been a liar if I told you replying was as simple as it sounded. "Hi."

I didn't have to be looking at him to picture the scene perfectly in my head; he was standing there, one hand hidden in his pocket as the other one hid in his hair. Standing there in his calm exterior while his insides couldn't chose between remorse and depression, the many cuts and scars severing his boyish attractiveness. I had no doubt he was standing far enough behind me, squinting out into the sun's falling arrival at the horizon thinking of the quickest way to make his apology and go.

Oh I already knew what he was going to say to me. It was part of the reason I didn't go up looking for him in the common room. I never wanted to have this conversation; though it was inevitable I was foolish enough to try and hide.

Of course he would have been the one to find me.

He would go on about how I didn't deserve someone as damaged as him… some self pity load of nargles. I knew him well enough to know that he felt there was only Tom for him, and now that he'd vanquished the Dark Lord, there really isn't anything left for him. He was going to go and find something for himself…blah blah. I was much too tired to think up anything good. He was wrong about that, of course there was something left for him; he had a life here. With my family- _our_- family. I realized sadly that I wasn't going to be able to do anything to change his mind. Maybe the old Ginny Weasley would have stopped at nothing, but that last of who I had been slipped away the moment Fred hit the floor.

Harry wasn't going to stick around and I knew it.

And of course he would never even consider taking me away from my family soit proved yet again that I was not in the cards he laid out for himself.

Mum told me once that Harry was in love with me, even though he hadn't realized it yet. Well if he_ was_ close to realizing it then everything that's happened in the last 24 hours would have pushed him far back. I didn't think there was any more I could do about it.

I honestly just thought my mother was wrong; it was only wishful thinking that her daughter would end up with the wonderful Harry Potter.

"Ginny?" I heard his subtle step closer, but there I stayed, wrapped up in my own arms, letting my chin rest on my knees. Did he really think I was in the mood to hear his pathetic excuse for leaving me that time? Honestly there was only so much a girl could handle. Several moments passed in utter silence. "Can you… please… look at me?"

Perhaps it was the rare desperate tone I heard in his voice, the odd tone that almost sounded close to tears. Maybe that's what made me look up.

Though the moment I did, I wished I hadn't.

When I looked up to see him come closer, the instant I saw his face, I was sent back to another scene. The sky was a light purple, I was on the cold hard steps of the castle trying to block out the screams of terror and shock… I couldn't help but cry out with them finding my knees crumbling into my brother's arms… watching him lying limp at Hagrid's feet…

I snapped my head away, evening out my breathing, and hoping not to break into another panic attack. I had never in my life lost my head like I did the first time I was a witness to that scene, and I didn't want to see it again. "I can't."

"You can't?" His voice sounded hurt but I knew better, I knew that he was only just confused.

I shook my head, not caring if he saw me or not, what I wanted was him there with me, but it wasn't what he wanted and so there was really so point to extend the obvious. Maybe, if he just left, without even speaking to me, it wouldn't hurt as much only because we had been apart for so long already. A clean break is always spotless without messy apologies and hollow regrets.

He hadn't gone; I could sense his presence behind me, "Why?"

Analyzing his voice wasn't as easy as reading his face but it was all I could do, considering the alternative. I could tell he was tired, though I knew the curiosity was out weighing out, I doubted he could stand much longer and so I decided to make it quick. After a moment of thinking I took a breath and replied with,

"Not sure, perhaps it has to do with the fact that I can't seem to hold a grip on whether you're alive or not. I'm talking to you know so maybe you really are here, okay, but in the next five minutes…who knows? Of course I sound like a terrible person when I say that don't I? It's not your fault if you die-that is if you don't sacrifice yourself- but I think you _do_ have a large influence on whether you are around or if you disappear again as you're very keen on doing." I sighed, "I understand if you feel the need to go, don't let me stop you. It's not like I was ever able to before." I paused surprised at how much came out so effortlessly. He was silent but there; he wouldn't have walked away even though I sounded like I was speaking to myself. "Then there's that constant doubt…maybe this is all in my head. Wishful thinking and all that…" I closed my eyes longing for sleep and disappointed knowing it wouldn't come.

"If this all in your head, why would that mean it's not real?" his voice was soft enough so that I almost missed what he said.

"That sounds like something Dumbledore would have said," I commented nonchalantly revolving what he just said in my head over and over. Who was I to judge what was real and what wasn't?

"He _did_."

I smiled, feeling the beginning of tears.

"Ginny…" Harry croaked. "I-I'm…"

"Don't apologize Harry. Please don't it's easier that way. Just go." I bit my lip waiting for the pain of those words to sink in; however there wasn't time to feel it.

"I can't."

"You can't?" Obviously his pride was why but I still asked, "Why?"

"Because I'm not going anywhere."

The hairs on the back of my neck stood tall. There was the voice that I remembered, the sure strong voice that showed he was going to take charge of the situation. It was unlike me but I allowed him to take it, when I remembered all of our little arguments I was the one to lead. I smiled bitter sweetly at the memories of how we would spat, stubbornly, and heatedly until one of us just grabbed the other into a sweltering kiss.

It didn't necessarily solve anything but it was effective and showed just how much we drove each other mad, yet cared more than anything else. We had nothing on Ron and Hermione of course, we only argued, rarely, on occasion. "Because I _am _alive and it's because of _you_. It's because it took me a while to get here and I'm not leaving just so that all I did was for nothing, because everything I did, I did for you. I'm not going anywhere because I'm tired of doing what people expect me to do, for once I'm going to do what I want, because someone once told me to tell those people to sod off. It's because I don't need them. I need _you_."

My hand was disobeying me, I was demanding it to wipe the moisture from my face but it only remained limp on my lap. I couldn't answer; there were so many things I wanted to say so many things I probably should have said but they would all eventually lead to the same outcome. He was going to leave. Maybe if not that day then the next. My heart was twisted enough as it was.

He sighed, "Please say something? Please don't block me out, I know I deserve it, but just tell me, now that you heard what I had to say, tell me to go and I will. Tell me to leave you alone and I will."

I was screaming at my lips now demanding them to say something. I didn't _want_ him to go, but it seemed like I had already convinced myself he would, no matter what I did. There was my chance to actually try and make him stay; it scared me to see how much I had changed. From that girl who wouldn't hesitate to tell the world just what I felt like telling it, to the girl who couldn't even say two words to the person who needed it most. I realized the world really did have all the power, and it wasn't right for me to just say what I wanted, sodding off anyone else.

Yes the world had the power. The power to take away my brother, the one who taught me about standing up to the world in the first place. The irony ran thick.

"I mean it Ginny. I'm not leaving until you say it." The crunch of the grass was growing nearer. "Ginny!" he gasped. He was now all I could see, the light of the sun glowing around his outline, the worried lines of concern on his face, the endlessly green eyes- him. And I didn't see anything but him, alive and there. "Ginny…Ginny," he whispered this time grabbing my face and drying my tears. He must have been surprised, seeing me cry for the first time in all the years he's known me. Gosh I disgusted myself, how was I any different from Cho? When Harry needed someone, to talk to, to be there for him, all she would do was cry her eyes out. And now I couldn't be strong enough to do it.

Colin was wrong when he told me we were evenly matched. I couldn't be strong enough for Harry.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." The pain in his voice was evident, as easy to hear as it was to see in his face. And that's what shook me from my catatonic state.

I couldn't believe he was there…touching me…worried about me…apologizing to me. Had I been wrong? Was he telling the truth about staying? Did he still feel something for me? All the answers to these questions seemed a positive one, only I was scared to hope. I had hoped so many times with failure…

But In that moment, tucked under the shade of the tree in which we had so many memories…in that moment I needed him. I needed him, even if he was going to leave again, even if he didn't want me. Could it be possible that he needed me… but didn't want me? I wasn't making sense. Nothing made sense. Why would it? Harry was in front of me, Voldemort was destroyed, Fred was dead, Teddy was an orphan, Hogwarts was in shambles, the Deathly Hallows were real, and Snape wasn't a bad guy…the world I once knew wasn't making any sense.

And so in that moment I let myself cling onto Harry Potter, damn the consequences. I clung onto the one thing that always made sense: My love for him.

"It's not your fault." I attempted to reassure him but my voice only cracked, "It's not Harry, don't let anything make you think that."

"But-"

"No buts. I need you too Harry. Fred," I croaked, "Harry….Fred." At the first mention of my brother's name I was in his arms, he was squeezing me into his chest and I still wanted him to hold me tighter. I felt him kiss the top of my head as his own tears spilled into my hair. He rocked me back and forth a bit while I just sobbed, and eventually we laid back in the grass under the sun that had finally reached the sky.

I cried, harder than I ever had as I grieved. I grieved for the brother I lost in the safety of Harry's arms as he joined me. We might have spent hours there together, thinking about Remus and Tonks and all others. It was funny how history seemed to always repeat itself; almost 17 years ago a couple was murdered in the first war, leaving their only son an orphan. And now Teddy Lupin, only son to Remus and Tonks, fell into the same fate however _his_ Godfather wasn't in Azkaban like Sirius. _His_ Godfather was wrapped around me, ready to raise him in a loving atmosphere. So unlike the one in which he was raised.

It was funny how I had wished to be right here with Harry all year. I had dreamed of relaxing by the lake with him again, but under different circumstances. Now it was a bittersweet dream fulfillment.

I shifted so that I could hide my face in the crook of his arm when I had finished with my tears. I wanted so much to just fall asleep, so warm, so safe where I was, I thought Harry had already fallen asleep but when I moved he gave a small gasp of pain.

"Harry?" I asked; my voice throaty and tired from the crying.

"It's fine, I'm fine." He was lying, that much was obvious when he sounded so winded. I lifted off of him and propped myself onto my elbow.

"You're in pain?" well that sounded stupider out loud! I might as well have asked _Is that a lightning bolt on your forehead? _However, my momentary sarcasm halted to a stop when I took my first good look at him, now that my tears were gone. The bags under his eyes proved that he hadn't gotten good sleep in days, maybe weeks, and his emaciated body would have my mother feeding him for days straight.

Harry had a new scar by his jaw, still red and threatening, but it had nothing on the bruise faded onto half his cheek. His hair fell lower than I had ever seen on him, it altered his appearance a bit but it was the same Harry, just battered and thrown about.

He sighed, "Well you wouldn't believe me if I told you I wasn't. But don't worry it's nothing that I can't handle."

"Let me see, I've learned a bit from Madam Pomfrey this past year and I've taught myself a lot with these books in the Room of Requirement, I might be able to help."

He only just shook his head, "No Ginny. Just leave it; I don't think it will do any good."

"How could you know, if I haven't even seen?"

"Please, just forget it."

"I can't! Especially if you're hurting."

"I'm fine."

"Obviously not."

"Ginny. I don't want you to see."

I froze. Well that was an honest answer. "Why not?"

Pulling away a bit he said, "It's just not…easy to swallow...we've had a hard year."

"Don't you think I know that? Harry that's not going to change my mind. I can show you some of my scars from this past year too. But mine have all been tended to."

He sat up in a flash but the instant grimace on his face showed just how much he regretted that. "Scars?" he asked when he recovered.

"Yes…" I replied cautiously. That may not have been the best time to mention that.

"What did they do to you Ginny?" he kept his voice to near a whisper afraid of what I was going to say.

"Nothing I can't handle."

"Ginny!"

"It's a story for another time Harry ok? I promise I'll tell you everything but this is about you right now, not me. You, and your medical needs."

"I worry more about you," he said lying back down. I didn't let myself think too much of that response, it didn't mean anything; Harry _always_ cared about everyone before himself.

"Let me see Harry. Please."

He lost the battle he was fighting with himself, sitting up and remaining motionless. I struggled for a minute bracing myself for what I knew I would see, but grabbed the hem of his shirt and lifted it up.

It was going to be bad, how could it not be bad? But no matter how I bad I expected it to be, there was nothing compared to the deep gash starting from one side of his abdomen to the other. My breath caught, but I forced myself to hold my composure and finish removing the ghastly shirt, gingerly, carefully. A faded circular burn on a higher part of his chest, blue and black ribs, he had been through hell, that much was obvious, but it brought tears to my eyes again.

He was just shy of 18, and yet he had more scars, emotional and physical than any adult could ever dream. How could he deal with all this?

I knew how.

He was Harry.

It was horrifying but I didn't look away.

"That bad?" Harry asked.

I grimaced. "You see I told you. You don't have a Hungarian Horntail tattooed to your chest," I said hollowly, still shocked at the immense count of injuries.

"It must really be bad," he sighed placing his head back on the ground once more. With my fingers I lightly traced the patterns the bruises and cuts made. I noted the broken ribs just by the feel of my unpressured touch. I didn't stop until Harry squirmed beneath me. I froze, "Did that hurt?"

Shaking his head he closed his eyes, "No actually it felt really good."

I bit my lip, trying my hardest not to dry when I moved to the main wound. "Harry, you've been hit with really dark magic," I breathed with my finger hovering onto of his warm skin.

He nodded.

"You need to see Madam Pomfrey."

Harry sat back up pulling his shirt back above his head, "No. Not yet, can't we-can't I," he was struggling to find the words.

"What?"

"Going up there now, it would be like entering the real world; can't we just stay out here for a while longer?" His voice was sheepish, but his eyes were confidently on mine. I should have told him no and dragged his arse back to the castle so that he could be healed. I should have left him to Madam Pomfrey and walked away. Harry didn't really need me; I was just the closest person around. I was convenient. Harry knew he felt comfortable with me; he knew he could tell me anything.

Yet I was too selfish to walk away. I needed him; I wanted him, only him. So I nodded and re-positioned myself at his side making sure he didn't feel my weight.

"What hit you Harry?" Did I want to know the answer? At the moment I only felt that I _had_ to know.

"I will tell you everything, Ginny. I promise, but not right now. It's all still so fresh."

I knew he was referring to the entire year we had spent apart; the horcrux hunt and what gave him that nasty scar. He was dismissing it. he didn't really want to tell me, I knew it was fresh but I didn't think he would ever truly tell me. Promising only hurt. "Don't make empty promises," I whispered.

This was way for apologizing for my pain; I knew he didn't want a relationship. He didn't want to continue ours. I knew that. This was his way of saying goodbye. I was not going to add on anymore worthless hope for answers he would never reveal.

"Empty promises? Ginny, don't' you believe me? I want to tell you everything, I don't want there to be any secrets between us. I'm tired of them, and I want you to understand."

"Because you owe it to me."

"It's more than that," he replied, raised my chin, "You think I'm just going to leave without letting you know anything?"

"So you _are_ leaving."

"No! You're wrong on both accounts! Where would I go? Why? The only future I ever imagined for myself was one right here, with you."

I gaped, stunned, "Wha-what?"

"Look, I promised to tell you the full story at some point but right now you need to know at least one thing. But let me warn you Ginny, it's not a happy story."

He meant the Horcruxes. He didn't know that I already knew about them, "I know that Harry, I know about the Horcruxes."

It was his turn to gasp, as he shot right back up again, "What? How? When? Where? You…_know_?" He really didn't know what to ask first.

"I figured it out alright? I heard you lot mention something about them last summer and I took the initiative to find out the rest. Don't be mad you know you would have done the exact same thing." His mouth was hanging wide open, "I didn't tell anyone, if that's what you're worried about. Well- I guess Fleur knows, but that was partly your fault. She had a theory ever since you three were at her place and when I asked her if she knew what they were she made everyone leave the room so that she could tell me. We figured out the rest together. But she Hasn't said anything-"

"I-I-I'm not mad," he said, ending my ramble. "I'm just…surprised."

"Didn't think I would figure it out? You probably didn't think I would figure out the prophecy either, huh?"

He was stunned yet again. "You always under estimate me Potter," I said with a sarcastic grin.

"Wow, um…so…then you…already know."

I shook my head, "Honestly, all I know is that you three were hunting those horcruxes, I knew that there was more than one. The rest…the Elder Wand and Voldemort thinking he had killed you yet again…the rest I haven't a clue."

Harry stared at me for another minute, and suddenly I realized I still hadn't washed up from the battle. I must have looked a fright. "You're amazing." My head spun a bit at his admission. He must have noticed the scrutiny in my face because he continued, "You've been here, dealing with Merlin knows what, and yet you found out the answers yourself…you're amazing."

I turned my head away, "That isn't an explanation to why you are the mater the Elder Wand, nor does it tell me why you had us think you were dead." I know it might have sounded harsh- especially since he had just said something so wonderful to me, but I couldn't bear to hear such things when I knew they would amount to nothing in the end.

"I know…sorry. Well I guess the first thing you should know is that there were seven horcruxes."

"Seven?" _Seven_ that was worse than I feared…he split his soul into seven pieces…seven. He wasn't just immortal, he was a monster.

"Yeah, I know. A ring that belong to Salazar Slytherin- which was destroyed by Dumbledore two years ago, a cup that belonged to Helga Hufflepuff, the lost Diadem of Rowena Raven claw, A locket that belonged to Voldemort and…"

"The Diary of Tom Riddle."

Harry grimaced, "Figured that out too did you?"

I nodded, "That was the easiest part. Once I realized what a horcrux was, I knew the diary was one. That's how I knew that there was more than one, because Dumbledore had assured me it was destroyed."

"Yeah…I'm sorry you had to find that out on your own, I wish I could have been the one to tell you, I wish I would have been the one to be with you when you found out why the diary did that to you. Why it…hurt you."

It was horrible-finding out that I had been involved with a piece of the monster's soul. "I felt so dirty. I felt…like a part of him," I said with tears returning to my eyes.

Harry put his palm to my cheek, rubbing his thumb across my skin, "No. You're not, you're you; you're Ginny. He's not inside you anymore, it's over. I promise."

I took a few calming breaths, before I returned the conversation on its original course, "That's only six, Harry, you said there was seven."

He took his hand away slowly, looking a bit hurt. I felt bad but I needed to protect myself too. "That was the big secret…for years Dumbledore kept something from me something Voldemort didn't even know."

"What was it?"

"I was the last Horcrux, Ginny."

I stopped breathing. That's what I did, I completely lost all breath. Not only was Harry supposed to defeat the Dark Lord by himself, but he also had a piece of said Lord inside his body? Would catastrophes never end?

"What? Is that even possible? When did you find out about this?"

"I found out right after Voldemort killed Snape."

"Snape's dead?" I asked, feeling a wave of pity.

"Yeah, Ginny it's a really complicated story, but when Snape was dying he gave me his memories. He had been working with Dumbledore the entire time; he was never a bad guy, Gin."

"I know. Figured that out too. He was a double agent. Dumbledore had Snape kill him on purpose."

Harry laughed softly, "Brilliant. I didn't even know that until I saw it myself in Snape's memories."

"I'm smarter than you. Always have been."

"Perhaps. Well, Dumbledore told Snape that at the last possible moment I would need to be told that I was the seventh, and final Horcrux, and that only Voldemort could destroy me."

I stopped breathing yet again. It was so much information and even more information was clicking in my head. I looked up to his scar, and it was all of our fears for the past several years becoming a reality. But it was okay because Voldemort was dead and Harry was somehow…not. I had finally accepted that he was there, lying beside me, alive and well.

"So…" I calculated in my head, "All the dreams, all the visions…" Harry noticed my preoccupation with his scar.

"Yeah," he said, "Right there."

Harry lived for sixteen years with _Voldemort_ inside him…his whole life had been omehting out of a nightmare.

"You have to murder someone to make a horcrux so-"

"The night he killed your mother-"

"The night he gave me this-"

"He unknowingly made you a horcrux."

Harry only nodded. I began to cry again, this time for him and all he'd gone through. His beautiful mother…dead. His father-Sirius' best friend- dead…and Harry survived. The-Boy-Who-Lived had always been a childhood bedtime story to me….but at that moment it changed into something darker, more horrific. Harry whispered comforting words to me again, until I sobered.

"So you…had to die."

"Yes, so I told Neville what to do. I told him to kill the snake; it was that last remaining horcrux."

"But…you're here with me now…how is that possible?"

"I did die, Ginny. I was gone."

"Wait, hold on. So you went off to die without so much as a…as a goodbye? You just _left _knowing you weren't… you _knew_ you weren't coming back? " How could he possibly do that? To Ron and Hermione to _my mother_ to…me? To everyone who had faith in him?

"Someone would have stopped me-"

"Of course we would have stopped you!" I yelled pushing away from him before I smacked him clear across that face. How was it that Harry Potter managed to get my crying for him on his bloody should one moment and the next ready to hex him into the next century? "We would have told you to wait; we would have discussed our other options!"

"There were no other options!" he countered, "We were wasting time as it was!"

"I would have made you slow down and consider something else! Do you know how much it would have hurt us? If you knew in that moment you were not coming back, that you would leave us thinking you didn't give a damn about any of us? Of course we wouldn't have let you gone it was too much of a gamble, we actually cared about your life, even if you didn't! Damn it, Harry I know you are stubborn but so am I. I would have stopped you."

"You nearly did."

"_Excuse me?" _

Harry nodded sadly, his eyes were haunted by the memories he was going to share. It immediately made me silent. "I was on my way when I saw you with a little girl, she was dying. Merlin Ginny, I must have gone crazy thinking about telling you right then and there and letting you drag me back. I nearly said goodbye then, and you would have been the only one I would have talked to. But I couldn't. I figured that it wouldn't hurt _you _as much since I hadn't spoken to you in so long, if I had just left. A clean break." Had I not just thought the same words myself?

I knew then, that Harry had been there under the cloak. I had felt him and it was moments before he gave himself in…he must have been so scared. But HE didn't say anything, he didn't bother stopping, sure he said he wanted to but he didn't. If he cared for me then he _would_ have stopped.

"Hurt me as much…?"

"As much as it hurt me…walking away from you again. Knowing that I never would see you again. Ginny, we could have been apart for 5 years and it wouldn't have made any difference to me, the pain wouldn't have gotten any easier. I hoped that maybe you would have moved on…I realized that if I did what I had to do, without stopping to hurt you even more by telling you I was going to die, you could have your own life. You could be happy. So I kept walking."

Was he speaking the truth? Part of my said Harry wouldn't have lied to me but another part- a cowardly part- still didn't want to believe him. "I felt you," I said.

"What?"

"I felt you there. I _knew _you were there. But I refused it I denied it. I couldn't believe that you were outside, on your way to sacrifice yourself. How could you be so selfish Harry?"

Harry shook his head, "I wasn't being selfish Ginny…I…"

"I know, I know you were being noble. But you just walked away from me."

"But Ginny, when I met him, when he was about to cast the killing curse at me again, I thought of you. I pictured you in my head…you. You were the last thing I thought of…our kiss in your bedroom so many months ago."

I couldn't help it, I smiled. I smiled so fully Harry had to blink twice to keep up. "I felt that too," I said. What did that mean? Harry had imagined that kiss before he was killed. And right about that time I had the same sensation…and then right after… my smile left my face as quickly as it had come, "And then you died."

"Yeah. I did…Ginny, what does that mean? You _felt_ me?"

"Yes…I don't know how to explain it…and it was the first time either…there were a few moments this past year where I felt as though you were with me…as though you were somewhat watching over me…" Harry's eyes began to bulge out, and I blushed, "I know that's really silly-"

"Ginny, I spent many nights falling asleep watching your dot on the Marauder's Map."

"You did…what?"

"I…well…I liked to know you were okay. I mean, I didn't know how you were feeling but I knew you were in your dorm sleeping at night," Harry blushed too.

He watched me- he thought of me…he really did care. All those months wasted thinking he didn't…care. I was wrong. I knew, then, that I was wrong. "How could I feel you Harry?"

Harry shrugged, "I don't know…but…maybe…maybe there are things about magic that aren't worth the trouble of worrying about…maybe we should just enjoy it."

Enjoy it? I smiled again. "So you died, and Harry I felt so empty…so cold. Neville thought I had gone into shock."

"I _did_ die, Ginny- but I had a choice."

"A choice?"

"It's another complicated story, but I had the chance to move on and be with my parents, and Sirius, and Remus, Tonks…Fred…" my throat constricted, but I didn't interrupt. He was right though, they were all up there together. And then the rest of us were here together. No one was alone. We were all okay. My eyes got blurry again when I realized that someday we would _all_ be together again. With new stories to tell. It might _not_ have been goodbye, but an, I'll see you later. "

"But," he continued, "I could come back. Once, after Sirius died maybe, I might have chosen to stay there. But things changed for me and I realized that I did have a reason to come back. Not necessarily only to kill Voldemort, though that was a major part of it, but I guess it would have only taken a curse from anyone to finish him. But I had another reason." He hung his head as he spoke, and I could visibly see how hard it was for him to tell me. But it was just as hard to hear it too. I was scared to let Harry play with my heart.

"Harry-"

"No please, listen to me Ginny. I know I really have no right in asking you for any favors, you owe me nothing, but please just for once listen to what I have to say and then If you want I'll leave you alone."

I stared at him for a moment, it was still hard to do so, I was staring into this bright light of hope, of green, of desperation, of a new future. Whether or not I wanted him a part of my future, (which of course I did) I did owe him something. I owed him a lot more than be would let me admit, so I pushed aside all the hurt and let him play with my emotions one last time.

"Alright, I'm listening."

He took a shaky breath and began rather bluntly,

"I've never been completely sure what love is Ginny. I didn't grow up in that kind of environment; there was never the warmth at the Dursley's that I would feel at the Burrow," he said regretfully. "So it wasn't until I met your family that I began to really understand what it meant to love someone, to care about people, enough to be willing to see them through anything- that love was unconditional. Now that took me longer comprehend, how could love be unconditional? But when I thought of your mum, she's the perfect example, after all Percy has put your family through it put her to tears of happiness when he arrived at the school right before the battle."

I smiled thinking of that moment, the last moment my family was whole, and all together. The smile didn't last as long as it normally would have. Harry continued, I was clueless as to where he was getting this from, in the moment I figured he had rehearsed it in his head, but after all these years I know now that they all came straight from his heart. He hadn't anticipated anything he said.

"I'm more than grateful to you and your family for that, and when Sirius was around I felt more loved than I ever had before. By that time, my fifth year, I grasped what the basics were. I knew I loved Ron and Hermione, Sirius loved me so did Remus and your mum. But when I started having feelings for you I was confused again. I loved you a different way than I did Hermione, and definitely different from how I felt about your mum," Harry almost chuckled at that as he stared at his hands on his lap. "It was my sixth year that I learned love had different levels, and the more you felt, the more levels you _could_ feel made you heart only larger, and it felt so good. It _feels_ so good."

I suppose he meant that to have some kind of innuendo, but I didn't react to it.

"But then I had to go away, and while I was out there I realized I had known what love was all along, all these years I've been loving people, but never admitted it or shown it or even attempted at expressing it. Out there without you, I felt like the worst person on the face of the planet, I realized you had no idea how I felt about you and whether I knew what love was or not it was unfair of me to keep you from at least how I was feeling, what I thought I felt. You were here all alone, not knowing. I thought that maybe, when I returned you wouldn't want anything to do with me. After all, I had deserted you." Harry swallowed and turned to look at me.

"Then I saw you after so long, after missing you so much, wishing you were with me whenever I saw Ron and Hermione growing closer, after watching your dot on the Marauder's map night after night, and you walked into the Room of Requirement and smiled at me. The most amazing feeling hit me, that I did love you, I was IN love with you, that I didn't want you with any other person if that person was not me."

My heart skipped a step.

"I promised to myself that if I would survive I would tell you how I felt, because I owed it to you. Whether you hated me or not. So here I am. In front of you, devastatingly sorry, not sure how I will ever make you forgive me, but loving you more than anything I'd ever felt my whole life. I came back for you Ginny. For you."

He took my hand, and I was vaguely aware of the tears soaking my face. "So this is me, for the first time ever saying, I love you. I love you Ginevra Weasley."

I never thought it was possible for one person to feel so much, muggle or otherwise. But one thing was for sure, I couldn't deny the fact that Harry and I did belong together anymore. Fate wasn't pulling us apart by constantly tearing us apart, it was proving that we were meant to be because of the ways we always came back to one another.

Harry Potter loved me.

Harry Potter was _in_ love with me.

Me, a short, freckly, girl with stringy red hair.

He loved me.

And I knew…I knew that I had to tell him. That was my chance.

I was crying but I didn't care. Harry didn't seem to mind it when I cried so I didn't try to hide it anymore. "Harry, when I saw you lying dead in Hagrid's arms Harry, my world stopped. I don't even want to think about it, but what you do need to know is that one thing ran through my mind the entire time, that I never got to tell you that I loved you. Just like you said I deserved to know, I felt you deserved to know even more. I was selfish and scared to put my heart on the line, and scared that if I told you, you would run the other way. And you probably would have…but you still needed to know. And now that you _did _survived I'm getting my second chance and I'm not going to blow it."

I took a deep breath and smiled at him, "I'm in love with you, Harry James. I always have been."

The moment he kissed me took me back to that first time in the common room. I was so happy, happiness burst from my pores. I was back where I belonged. With someone who would understand me completely, the one person I could connect with in a way that I never would with anyone else. I had been possessed by Tom Riddle's horcrux. Harry was one himself, and that was something neither of us would ever find in anyone else.

When his lips moved down to my neck, I whispered a promise I his ear, "I will love you forever Harry, enough for your parents, enough for Sirius, and Dumbledore and Remus combined. I'll show it every day, and I won't let you forget how much they love you- how much I love you."

He flipped me over onto my back in the grass by the lake, with his body pressing onto mine, sending tingles all over, "Forever?" he whispered back, his answer smile dazzling, "I like the sound of that." And he continued to kiss me as I played with his hair.

We had a future now, no prophecies, no wars, no horcruxes, and in time I would find out every detail of what he went through that year, and I would tell him what happened to me. I loved Harry Potter, and although I was only shy of 17 and he of 18, Iknew I would never stop.

A while later I was finally falling asleep on his chest while the moon began glowing bright when my mind started working again. "Harry?"

"Hmm…" he replied, dozing as well.

"People are probably worried about us. I didn't tell anyone where I was going this afternoon."

"Don't worry, your family was looking for you when I told them I was actually on my way to speak with you, I told them I knew where you were."

"How _did _you know?"

"Because I know you."

I smiled, "I'm surprised they haven't sent out a search party yet."

"I don't think they will, Ron seemed to understand and I think we've reached a point where he can respect our relationship, and our privacy."

"That's because he was going to be too busy snogging Hermione to worry about us."

Harry let out a laugh, "It's good to laugh like this again."

"Isn't it wrong though? After all that's happen is it wrong to feel happy?"

"I don't think so. I think Fred would have wanted you to be happy, don't you think? I bet they are all glad we are here together. That we found each other."

"I'm going to miss him so much."

"We always will. But that's okay, because we love him, and he loves us. He would be upset if we weren't laughing our heads off every chance we got."

I nodded, "I guess you're right," I sighed, "It's getting late, either we should head back inside or send a message to everyone letting them know we are alright."

"Do you think your parents would be upset with us staying here?" Of course Harry would be worried about the opinions of my parents. I thought of my mum and how happy she would be when she found that Harry and I were together again.

"They trust us. And they understand we don't really want to be around people right now. They love you Harry, and mum has wanted us together since the first moment you stepped foot in the Burrow."

"She should have just straightened me out right then and there, it would have given us so much more time."

"I wouldn't change our story for anything in the world Harry. If something had gone differently, we might not have ended up right in this moment. And I wouldn't trade this moment for anything."  
>"You're turning sentimental again Weasley."<p>

"Just contact my parents Potter."

I watched as he cast a Patronus and created the message. Watching him do magic, something else occurred to me. "You never explained about the Deathly Hallows, Harry; how in Merlin's beard are you the master of the Elder Wand? I didn't even know they were real!"

"I didn't either, until Dumbledore left the book to Hermione in his will. I came across all three Deathly Hallows Gin. My father's invisibility cloak, the Snitch Dumbledore left _me_ concealed the resurrection stone and the Elder Wand had been previously owned by Dumbledore himself."

"What?" I shrieked, "But I thought you could only be the master if you defeat the previous owner! How could you-"

"Not defeat, in that kind of sense Ginny, but rather disarm. The night Dumbledore died, Draco Malfoy disarmed him, he was originally sent to kill Dumbledore, remember?"

"Yes, you told me that."

"Well Dumbledore had it all planned out, he told Snape to let Draco disarm him and then step in and kill him. That way Voldemort believed that Snape was the true master, since he had ended Dumbledore's life. Voldemort killed Snape thinking that would make himself the rightful owner. But he was wrong. It was Draco."

I could see where it was going.

"By sheer luck, I had ended up at Malfoy Manor just recently and disarmed Draco myself," Harry was grinning like a fool.

I smirked, "Well, don't you look smug."

"You are looking at the Master of Death Ginny Weasley, the holder of all three Deathly Hallows," his voice had taken a mock ominous tone.

I rolled my eyes, "With how many ties you cheat death, I don't think you ever needed the Hallows."

Harry sighed, "I…I dropped the resurrection stone in the forest somewhere."

Harry Potter was good man. He never wanted power, he never wanted fame. I knew that he didn't intend on keeping the Hallows for himself. "And you destroyed the wand."

He looked at me with wide eyes, "How did you know?"

I simply shrugged, "Because I know you."

As we settled back down on the soft grass, I noticed something in the back of the tree we called our own, something couldn't believe I had never noticed before, "Harry, look!"

Etched on the tree was a monogram encased by a heart. The initials read,

J.P. + L.E.

He looked up at where I was pointing and I saw his eyes slightly water in recognition. It warmed my heart, and pained me so, to see Harry's reaction to any connection to his parents. I decided to give him a moment, and I closed my eyes. I didn't know what he did, or how much longer he stayed awake, but I had a feeling when I woke up hours later - from a dreamless sleep I might add-as the sun crept up over the horizon. Harry was snoring peacefully and his wand was falling out of his relaxed hand. When I looked up, there was a new heart beside the old one: a new heart, with new letters for the world to see- forever.

Maybe I didn't have to give up on him. Maybe I never would.

Forever. Yes Harry Potter was my first love, but he would also be my last.


	26. The Last Entry

Epilogue

**Entry 25: **The Last Entry

"Right down the line it's been you and me

Loving a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be

Being apart ain't easy on this love affair

Two strangers learn to fall in love again

I get the joy of rediscovering you

Oh, you stand by me,

I'm forever yours,

Faithfully…"

-Faithfully, Journey

So now here I sit, 15 years from my first entry, in the finest white dress I have ever worn, my long red hair done up in a curled up-do, and make up decorating my face. I was just flipping through these entries that I've written in the last few months reminiscing; call it the nostalgic moments one gets before a major stage change in life. This diary has taken me a while to write, and now that I've finished I'm ready to pass it on. Who knows what will happen in the future, one without Voldemort? Who knows where Harry will be, where I will be? I'm the new chaser for the Holyhead Harpies, and Harry is reconstructing the Auror department, but where will we be tomorrow? Can anyone ever be sure? One thing _is_ for sure, we can't live in the past. To move forward in life we have to accept and embrace our past and understand that without it there is no now. There is no future. My past experience with diaries would lead someone to run at the sight of one for the rest of his/her life, but I know that can't happen to me.

Writing in a journal has always been something that made me feel better; if I let some bad memory take that away I'd be running away like a coward, I might as well run away at the sight of George just because he reminds me of Fred. But I'm a true Gryffindor. You can't run away from your past, you have to face it head on, I've told this to Harry plenty of times.

And he's just about got the picture.

As my last entry, I'll leave you with one last thought, life is like a book, with each chapter that ends a new one begins, and each word leads to the present- to who you are now. In this moment. Stories twist and turn, plots dramatize, climaxes reach unbelieving heights; life is as unexpected as those pages. My diary and my memories, are real and going back I see them as a story to be told again and again. This is my story. My past, my present. And now my future awaits me. I close this book, and start a new life, and get a new name.

_**20 year old Ginevra Molly Weasley shut the old, worn out diary she had been writing furiously in just a moment before. With a satisfied sigh she put down her quill and moved to the small window of her childhood bedroom. Looking out into her yard she couldn't help but fight back tears of joy that threatened to fall. Snow was drizzling softly around the silver tables that were glistening in the morning sun. There was a golden carpet that led from the back side of the house through several rows of arranged seats that had captivating orchids magically wrapping themselves to the chairs. The gold stood out from the rest of the silver fixtures, and led to the scenic platform under a frosted arch. Everything glittered elegantly just the way she had always pictured the winter wedding to.**_

_**The window had been enchanted the night before, allowing her to look out but no one from below could see her beauty radiating from the upstairs room. The only part that bothered her was not being able to see the one other person whose life would change that day as well.**_

_**Ginny watched for a while, at the gamut of witches and wizards arriving drolly to the scene, friends and family- unfortunately most from the bride's side. She touched the white orchid that had been weaved into her hair and made sure the gown had yet to find any wrinkles.**_

_**She was restless. And when Ginny Weasley was restless….**_

"_**Wow," came a gasp from the door of the bedroom, she turned around swiftly feeling her dress flutter with her. She smiled at her eldest brother.**_

"_**What do you think?" she asked pivoting in order to show him every angle.**_

_**Bill Weasley put his finger to his chin and pursed his lips stepping closer to examine her fully, "Well," he mocked, "I say that if he doesn't already know how lucky he is, then he'll realize it the moment you step onto the gold strip."**_

_**Ginny couldn't help but blush, "Thanks."**_

"_**Well, some of us wanted to come up here and see how you were doing, knowing you, you're probably bored out of your mind."**_

"_**Of course I am, but maybe I wouldn't be if **__**someone **__**could take that bloody curse off the window so I can see a specific person out there." She smiled persuasively; it had always worked on her brothers before.**_

_**Bill laughed once, "Nice try Ginny, but you know it's bad luck."**_

"_**I think we've had enough bad luck in our lives already; it's all used up."**_

"_**Let's not risk it ok?"**_

_**She sighed again, "Fine."**_

_**They stayed silent for a moment before she realized something, "Some of us?" she asked, referring to his previous words.**_

_**Bill nodded, "All the Weasley men should be on their way up now. Mum is busy with the guests though."**_

_**She smiled and nodded picturing her mother; she must have been a bundle of different emotions just waiting to go off.**_

"_**Then, Bill, before they get up here, I wanted to thank you for reading me that bedtime story all those years ago, remember? You were afraid to at first cause you thought you might get in trouble?"**_

"_**How could I forget?" he rolled his eyes.**_

"_**Well, thanks all the same."**_

"_**My, my, my, dear sweet Merlin, little Ginnikins is all grown up." Charlie Weasley entered the room followed by the rest of her siblings, George, Percy, and Ron. Of course there was still one brother who was only there in spirit.**_

"_**When the bloody hell did **__**that**__** happen?" George asked.**_

"_**When you all weren't looking," Ginny shrugged looking up at each of them.**_

_**Percy stepped forward and hugged his sister, "You look beautiful."**_

"_**I've been told," she laughed.**_

"_**Yea and you'll be told about a million times for the rest of the day. I almost narrowly escaped a sneaky reporter that slipped through security; she started questioning me about what fabric your dress was made out of." Ron shuddered, "Why the hell would she want to know that? Who cares?"**_

_**Charlie clapped him on the back, "Trust Ginny Weasley to have the wedding of the century, people have been talking about this since she got that ring on her finger."**_

"_**You don't think the press will ruin any of it right?" Ginny asked worriedly.**_

_**Bill shook his head, "Nah, they've got a ton of Aurors out on the perimeter- no one's getting in that wasn't invited. I mean the last thing we need is more press, Dennis Creevey will take enough pictures thank you very much."**_

"_**So where have you all been this morning, not outside obviously, I would have seen you."**_

"_**Well," George started, "I hope you know that our allegiance isn't to you alone; we've been upstairs with the man of the hour."**_

_**Charlie nodded. "Yea, he's a wreck, he has some kind of idea that there is no way you're going to go through with this- you're going to take one step and realize he's not worth his weight in gold."**_

"_**He said it just like that too," laughed Percy, "George reminded Harry that he had enough gold for ten of himself…but Harry didn't find that comforting."**_

"_**Silly," she shook her head then asked, "What did you do?"**_

_**Charlie cocked his head to the side, "Before or after Ron slapped him across the face?"**_

"_**YOU WHAT!"**_

"_**Hey! He did it to me the day I married 'Mione, it works." Ron said defensively.**_

"_**Ginny, you may be our sister," George told her wrapping his arm around her shoulders, "But he's our best friend, we know how to handle him."**_

"_**Yeah, yeah as long as it didn't leave a mark."**_

_**They all began to laugh like they were little again, but they weren't with the men in their groomsmen robes, and the youngest in white. After all they had gone through, they came out on top, the fallen never forgotten, but with them still.**_

"_**So sis, what are you going to wish for Christmas this year?"**_

"_**Wish? No, it's not about wishing anymore Bill, it's about having the nerve to want something and not rest until you get it."**_

"_**Nicely put, but that doesn't answer my question."**_

_**She smiled, "All I want for Christmas is to get this wedding started."**_

_**Arthur Weasley walked into the room then, looking nervous, excited, sad and content all at once. "Well then dear, Merry Christmas, because it's time." He held out his arm to his only daughter and she step out of the circle of her five elder brothers.**_

"_**Well then that means I'm late!" Ron said, "The groom's probably wondering where his best man's gone off to." With one quick kiss on his sister's cheek he dashed from the rest of them.**_

"_**I just can't believe it." Bill said shaking his head.**_

"_**If this is really happening, then everyone needs to pay up right now," said Charlie, holding out his left hand expectantly.**_

_**Ginny raised an eye brow at the bunch of redheads who were either, groaning, searching their pockets or looking rather smug. "What are you lot talking about?" **_

"_**Ginny do you realize 15 years ago, in this very room, you told me you were going to marry Harry Potter, even though you had never met him, and didn't even know if you ever would?"**_

_**She smiled, "Of course."**_

"_**Well," said George, "since you went on and on about it all those years ago, we thought we'd do a bit of gambling."**_

"_**I thought it would be fun," added Charlie who was still waiting for their compensation.**_

"_**I thought it would be easy money," said Bill.**_

"_**I had nothing better to do," said George, "and Fred didn't want to be the only one not to bet."**_

"_**Someone had to organize it," Percy shrugged.**_

_**Ginny let out a laugh, "And Ron?"**_

"_**Ron didn't even know what marriage was."**_

"_**So who bet what?" Ginny asked.**_

_**All the boys looked away except for Charlie, "I had full faith in you sis."**_

"_**It was irrational! There was no way of predicting the turn of events!" Percy argued.**_

_**George responded for himself and his twin, "Boy, did we beg to change our bet when we met Harry that first year."**_

_**Bill looked at his glowing young sister, "I should have never doubted you; you were always one to get what she wanted."**_

"_**You were young, it happens," Ginny winked.**_

"_**Ok boys, pay up!" chirped Charlie.**_

_**George seemed reluctant to give his money away, "Hold on! We don't know what will happen in the next half hour, it's not over until they say 'I Do'."**_

_**All the others dug into their silver dress robes, "Well, sorry George, but Potter better say I DO or he'll be squashed into a bloody pulp by the rest of us." **_

_**Arthur dropped his daughter's arm to search his robes as well.**_

"_**Dad! You didn't!"**_

_**He smiled bashfully, "I did. But I only added my bet last, a few years after you had met Harry."**_

"_**Besides guys," Charlie returned back to Bill's statement. "The way these two have been snogging for the past four years, there's no way this wedding **__**won't**__** go as planned."**_

_**Ginny stuck her tongue out at Charlie, "It's called love you git."**_

"_**Plus, the way they are with Teddy makes them look like an old married couple already."**_

"_**He's our godson you prat!"**_

"_**Alright! No more name calling, it's supposed to be a special day and we need to get going." The father of the troop called for attention, "Now, I've gotten five redheaded wizards married without a hitch, now it's time to get the only redheaded witch I'm accountable for married so shall we?"**_

"_**Yes," Came the reply of six Weasleys together.**_

"_**Are **__**you **__**ready Ginny?"**_

_**Ginny took one last look at her brothers, her room, and the diary settled on her desk. The diary that would be given to Harry Potter as her wedding gift to him. "Yes," she said looking up brightly at her father, "I always have been."**_

_"The plan was, which I really hope I fulfilled, is that the reader, like Harry, would gradually discover Ginny as pretty much the ideal girl for Harry. She's tough, not in an unpleasant way, but she's gutsy. He needs to be with someone who can stand the demands of being with Harry Potter, because he's a scary boyfriend in a lot of ways. He's a marked man. I think she's funny, and I think that she's very warm and compassionate. These are all things that Harry requires in his ideal woman. But, I felt — and I'm talking years ago when all this was planned — initially, she's terrified by his image. I mean, he's a bit of a rock god to her when she sees him first, at 10 or 11, and he's this famous boy. So Ginny had to go through a journey as well… I feel that Ginny and Harry, in this book, they are total equals. They are worthy of each other. They've both gone through a big emotional journey, and they've really got over a lot of delusions, to use your word, together. So, I enjoyed writing that. I really like Ginny as a character."_

-JK Rowling-

It took me an incredible 22 months to write this novel, and I thank everyone who stuck with it until the end. But remember, Harry Potter will never truly end. Please read my other writings if you enjoyed this! And PLEASE review!

-Aliana Zamorano


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